I watched a lot of PBS Kids in the 2000s. I don't think a single day went by when I didn't tune in to see an episode of Arthur, Zoboomafoo, Sesame Street, or some other show that was airing on that channel at the time. And yet I have absolutely no memory of watching Danger Rangers. My introduction to it was, of all things, seeing clips of it used in a video somebody on YouTube made to a song from The Simpsons!
So what exactly IS Danger Rangers? Well, it was a cartoon show created to teach kids about safety. Apparently parents weren't doing a very good job of teaching kids, for example, to wear a helmet when riding a bicycle or call 911 in case of an emergency, so somebody thought, "Well, surely the kids will listen to a cartoon character..." Especially if that cartoon character is singing an upbeat song about it. Thus, Walter Douglas Smith Jr. and Michael D. Moore created these characters known as the Danger Rangers for the companies Educational Adventures and Animotion Works Inc. Jerry Houser, Ginny McSwain, Sean Roche, and Lucasfilm member Howard G. Kazanjian served as producers. The show's musical numbers were written by Randy Rogel of Animaniacs fame.
The Danger Rangers consist of Sully, voiced by Jerry Houser, a blue sea lion who acts as the leader of the group. He's competent, but also very goofy...
A creatively named cat named Kitty, voiced by Grey DeLisle-Griffin, Sully's second-in-command and possible love interest (because usually if the second-in-command of a team is the opposite gender of the leader, they're the love interest - Hunter and Colleen, Ace and Lexi Bunny, etc.) if I'm not looking too far into this...
Burble, voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson, a large polar bear who serves as the group's "gentle giant"...
Burt, a turtle who frequently builds inventions that help the Danger Rangers with their missions, which more or less makes him the Tech E. Coyote of the group. He is voiced by Mark Hamill, believe it or not...
Squeeky the mouse, a wisecracking smart-mouth with the voice of Rob Paulsen, which automatically makes him the best character on the show...
Gabriella, voiced by Tasia Valenza, a red hummingbird who rarely tags along on the Danger Rangers' missions, usually just staying back at headquarters and supervising. I guess there's only so much a tiny bird can do to save kids from crumbling buildings or whatever. Or maybe she's just lazy...
...and Fallbot, a John Kassir-voiced robot invented by Burt who also rarely tags along on the missions because he's a clumsy, incompetent goof (and who sounds like a cross between Pete the Puma and Bobcat Goldthwait).
Danger Rangers premiered on PBS Kids in September 2005. One season of sixteen episodes were produced, but a couple of things contributed to the show's not receiving more episodes. First of all, it only aired on select local PBS affiliates because it wasn't an in-house PBS production (maybe that's why I never saw it?). Second, at some point Educational Adventures decided to branch out into deals with Virgin Atlantic and Safe Kids Worldwide, it was hit with a lawsuit claiming that it committed fraud and financial mismanagement - bringing production of Season 2 to a screeching halt and crew members not getting paid for their work. Reruns also aired for a while on CBS' Cookie Jar TV Saturday Morning block, but the episodes were heavily edited to make room for more ads. Nonetheless, Danger Rangers has a small cult following, especially in North Korea.
How did I get into the show? I recently began watching the Annoverse's videos, and they've reviewed every single episode of the show. After watching their reviews of the first three episodes, I decided to do a review of the show myself. To make sure I didn't wind up parroting them, I'm gonna do a review of an episode that I haven't watched THEIR review of. So if I make any similar jokes, points, what have you, it's entirely coincidental. We're watching the fifth episode of the show, "Medicine Mix-Up". Let's get started, shall we?
It's a beautiful night in... whatever town this episode takes place in. The camera pans over to a candy factory where two cats are piling boxes of "Choco Chunkys" into a truck. Judging by how fat the cats are, methinks they've been helping themselves to the boxes' contents. Actually, I hope not. Chocolate is toxic to cats.
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A LOT of animals can't have chocolate, so I'm not sure how well sales are doing in a world populated by anthropomorphic animals. |
The cats head into their office to do some paperwork, but as soon as they do, two mysterious figures barricade the door, trapping them inside, and steal the truck. They drive it to a strange building where they are greeted by a blue poodle with a ray gun that he zaps the boxes with. Chocolate is toxic to dogs, too, so I guess his mindset is that if HE can't eat chocolate, then NOBODY can? Talk about petty...
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"I could patent this thing and make a ton of money off it, but nah, I'd much rather use it to sabotage chocolate." |
The ray gun doesn't destroy the chocolate, rather, it simply causes them to glow green for a second before the truck drives off. Who is this strange blue dog, and what does he have planned for the "Choco Chunkys"?
Well, before we can find out more, we cut to an ambulance. Inside is some poor five-year-old raccoon who drank a whole bottle of grape-flavored cough syrup unaware that it was medicine. I guess he also can't read, because don't most cough syrups have "COUGH SYRUP" written on the label in big letters somewhere so people know that it's, y'know, COUGH SYRUP? Or maybe the kid just thought that "DayQuil" was Italian for "tasty soda" or something?
I sure hope that kid's gonna be okay. In the meantime, we cut to Mount Rushmore... and no, I don't know why it depicts all four presidents as humans even though it's a world of anthropomorphic animals...
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There's probably some fan theory out there that the show takes place in a post-apocalyptic universe where humans were wiped out by a nuclear bomb or something that made all the animals sentient. |
Mount Rushmore is actually the headquarters for the Danger Rangers. At the moment, Gabriella is talking to their sentient computer, SAVO (voiced by Jonathan Harris in the pilot episode, then Charlie Adler after that), about the strange increase in children eating medicine under the impression that it's candy. They all seem to be getting to the hospital fast enough, but maybe the Danger Rangers should look into it anyway. Maybe a lot of kids have been watching those stupid Tide Pod Challenge videos on the internet.
On the way to the control room, Squeeky has to put up with Fallbot badgering him for a piece of his Choco Chunky bar. I don't know why, seeing as Fallbot is a robot and ergo doesn't have a sense of taste - he even points this out - so what exactly does he get out of eating? How does he even digest it?
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I'm just now noticing that Squeeky kind of looks like a Funko Pop. |
When they get to the control room, Squeeky opens up the Choco Chunky bar and discovers that it smells awful and is apparently now radioactive. Everyone is repulsed by the smell... even Fallbot, despite not having a nose.
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"Okay, who farted?" |
SAVO tells the Danger Rangers that kids all over the world are digging through other peoples' purses and eating prescription medicine. Question, how often do kids actually eat other peoples' medicine? I don't recall ever doing that when I was little. Maybe because the medicine I already took tasted disgusting so I wasn't exactly eager to try whatever my grandfather was taking.
Sully tells Burt that he and SAVO should hold down headquarters while everyone else heads out to save the day. Off the other Danger Rangers fly in their giant iron as we cut to a playground where a boy is sharing what he thinks is candy with two other kids (two of 'em are Jessica DiCicco, the other is Grey DeLisle-Griffin).
Now it's time to play a rousing game of "What Kind of Animal is That Character"? Tell me, do YOU have any idea what species this boy is?
The big front teeth suggest a beaver, but there otherwise isn't much else beaver-like about him. The long claws, ear shape, and color suggest a bear, but the ears are a tad too big and he has what look like tiger stripes on either side of his face, but nowhere else on his body. Is he a really stylized chipmunk? I honestly don't know. The other two are a little hard to deduce as well... the one on the left is clearly a bird, but what kind? Maybe a roadrunner?
There's no time for the Danger Rangers to land, so they open up a trapdoor in the floor and Burble launches Gabriella like a javelin down to the kids, who are fortunately raising the "candy" towards their mouths in slow-motion allowing for her to swoop in and swipe it out of their hands.
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Out of context, this screencap kind of makes it look like Sully is a drug dealer, doesn't it? |
"Kids, this isn't candy. This is medicine," Sully explains. "Medicine is as far away from candy as you can get," Burble adds. If a doctor, a nurse, or a parent gives you medicine, then and only then can it make you feel better. But if you take medicine that's NOT intended for your consumption, can give you a ticket to the hospital. And just to make sure the kids get the hint, the Danger Rangers launch into a musical number!
And this doesn't necessarily have to do with the song, but I have to point it out SOMEWHERE in the review... it's already pretty ironic that Grey DeLisle-Griffin has voiced two female cats named Kitty, the other of course being Kitty Katswell from T.U.F.F. Puppy. But do you know what the REALLY funny thing is? She uses essentially the exact same voice for both characters!
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Burt? Aren't you supposed to be back at headquarters? |
The bear/beaver/chipmunk/whatever kind of animal he is boy tells Sully that the medicine in his mom's purse was the only candy he could find that didn't smell bad. And he just so happens to have a Choco Chunky bar with him at the moment. Gee, I wonder if this could have anything to do with that poodle from the beginning of the episode...
Wouldn't you know it, SAVO calls up the Danger Rangers to tell them that candy everywhere is smelling like swamp rot. Not just Choco Chunkys, but also gumballs, licorice, and even what appears to be bottles of Gatorade (since when does that qualify as candy?). They must get to the bottom of this! I think I know what the poodle's plan is now - it's all an elaborate scheme to get kids to eat healthy. Or maybe he's actually a dentist?
The Danger Rangers go around collecting all the smelly candy and bring it back to headquarters. According to Burt, even though it has a rather unpleasant aroma, there isn't anything actually dangerous about the candy. If you actually ate it, you'd be fine (though you might need a breath mint).
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Fun fact: this isn't the only time Mark Hamill has voiced a turtle. He also voiced a turtle in My Friend Tigger and Pooh. |
And it's not just PILLS that the kids are munching on instead of candy - they're also chugging down those sweet syrupy medicines too. Before the Danger Rangers can figure out what's going on, SAVO informs them that someone has now demanded fifty million dollars or else they'll continue to make more candy smell bad. Ah, so THAT is the poodle's motivation. I should've known it was just because he wanted to make money (although there are other, much easier, ways to do that than by sabotaging candy).
This calls for another musical number. Take it away, Eric Idle!
Adding to the confusion, the Danger Rangers can't figure out how this mysterious candy-stinking fiend is getting into the factories... so maybe whatever this is ISN'T going on at the factory but rather on the way to the stores. And Sully knows how to find out. His plan: he, Gabriella, and Squeeky will be stationed at the candy factories, Kitty and Burble will take the soda bottling plant. Each team will hide out in one of the delivery trucks scheduled to leave that night. Burt is on tracking and monitoring. And since Fallbot is a clumsy clod, Sully gives him the very important task of, uh, gathering up all the foul-smelling candy and disposing of it.
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Uh, did a bee sting Gabriella's lower lip? Actually, do birds even HAVE lips? |
Once everyone is in position... and Kitty and Burble have been given free samples...
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Of course Burble's excited. He's a polar bear, everybody knows that polar bears love Coca-Cola... |
Sully, Gabriella, and Squeeky hear the engine of the truck they're hiding out in start up. What they DON'T hear is the driver fastening their seatbelt, because bad guys don't care about safety (and are also very stupid). Squeeky decides to climb into the air vent to the front of the truck and take a picture of whoever it is that's driving, allowing SAVO to identify who it is. Upon getting a good look at the driver, Squeeky whispers, "You guys aren't gonna believe this... we are being hijacked by a NINJA!"
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"I don't think anybody ever told this guy that ninjas are supposed to wear BLACK suits, though..." |
Alas, the driver winds up snatching a glimpse of Squeeky in the air duct and opens the back of the truck to see what's going on - but that allows Sully to stick a tracking device on him. Score one for the good guys. But the score is all tied up, because so are Burble and Kitty!
And the ninja was able to overpower a much larger POLAR BEAR hoooooooooooow?
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What, is this ninja taking steroids? If so, I think the Danger Rangers need to do an episode about not doing that... |
Sully asks Burt to activate the tracking device he put on the ninja who was driving the truck. Meanwhile, Kitty and Burble are brought to the eeeeeeeeevil lair we saw at the beginning of the episode, where they are greeted by that poodle, who says in the voice of Jeff Bennett, "Ohhhhh, Kit-teeeeee, how nice to see you again!" Kitty identifies the poodle as Henri Ennui, a brilliant scientist who she knows from her days at some corporation called Global Pole. Previously, he sold counterfeit perfumes that literally stank.
Henri shows off his ray gun, which he dubs the Rancinator - Dr. Doofenschmirtz would approve - and explains that it makes things smell like garbage by rearranging the molecules ever-so-slightly so that when they're exposed to air, they stink worse than David Zaslav. But that is not all. Oh, no. That is not all...
He's also built a really, really big Racinator! With it, he will make everything for a hundred miles around smell lousy - which presumably includes the medicine, so if he was intentionally trying to make kids sick, there goes THAT part of the plan. The only way anyone will be able to eat anything is if they pay him millions. And then... I dunno, he's gonna swim in the money like Scrooge McDuck?
Actually, if this world is populated by animals, isn't it far more likely that the citizens will go mad from hunger and start eating each other? Would Burble, for example, get so hungry that he'd try to eat Sully? I know polar bears don't eat sea lions, but they do eat SEALS, and Sully's close enough...
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How much did this cost to build, anyway? |
After we briefly cut back to Burt and Fallbot at headquarters (Fallbot is participating in WHACKY SHENANIGANS!), we see Sully, Squeeky, and Gabriella following the ninja who hijacked their truck around. They eventually make it to Henri's evil lair just as he's bragging about how Burble and Kitty couldn't possibly foil his plot with them being tied up at the moment. The ninjas fight them with croissants and baguettes - y'know, because they're FRENCH - and while Sully and Gabriella are dealing with them Squeeky unties Burble and Kitty. They're able to defeat the ninjas, but Henri is just about to activate his giant Rancinator. Then Fallbot shows up and actually does something useful for once by firing the rancid candy at him.
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"Eugh... zhat's it. Never again shall I eat at Taco Bell!" |
With Henri down for the count, Sully manages to power off the machine. Now kids all over town are free to eat candy that DOESN'T smell like a gas leak. AND as an added bonus, now they know how to be careful around medicine. Squeeky, Fallbot, and the kids rattle off more facts about not eating medicine as though they were candy. Fallbot, of course, is still an idiot and winds up eating a bunch of vitamins because he thinks they're candy, demonstrating that he's basically learned nothing. On the bright side, since he's a robot eating all those pills won't hurt him. And now, it's time for another musical number!
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Hey, Burt. Harold called, he wants his purple crayon back. |
We get one more brief segment with Squeeky, Fallbot, and the kids... and that's about it. Remember, don't take medicine that hasn't been prescribed to you.
What's the Verdict?
So that's Danger Rangers, and it's actually not as heavy-handed as you'd expect. There was clearly a lot of effort and passion put into this so it doesn't just feel like a day in your school's health class. You've got nice animation, likeable characters who are good role models for children, a great voice cast, and even some pretty good songs. Is it the greatest cartoon ever? No. Is it the BEST cartoon that teaches you about safety? No, I personally find those Timon and Pumbaa shorts more entertaining. But Danger Rangers is still worth checking out, or at least showing your kids. You can find every episode on YouTube, with and without annotations.
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