Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Breadwinners"

Time to talk about another 2010s-era Nicktoon that's gotten a bit of a bad rap. Breadwinners premiered on Nickelodeon in 2014, the creation of Teen Titans Go! writer Steve Borst and Gary "Doodles" DiRaffaele. The show has a simple - and by "simple", I mean "incredibly strange" - premise: two anthropomorphic ducks named Buhdeuce and Sway-Sway fly around the planet Pondgea in their rocket-van delivering bread to its other, less-anthropomorphic citizens. Two seasons of the show were made. After the series premiered, Nickelodeon stated in a press release that it was the top-rated show for kids at the ages from two to eleven, averaging a whopping 1.7 million viewers and a Nielsen rating of 5.3.

This, of course, did not stop the animation community on the internet from tearing it apart. The Mysterious Mr. Enter did a review of the show in 2014, dubbing it the worst cartoon ever - "the bottom of the barrel", in his own words. The review included tons of ranting about how much he hated Nickelodeon despite how irrelevant that is to whether or not the show itself is good, reminding us that he hates SpongeBob SquarePants, insulting Casey Alexander AGAIN (I believe this was uploaded before he realized how much of a jerk move it was for him to sic his fans on the guy), screaming at the top of his lungs, and (per typical for Mr. Enter) lots and lots of swearing. Because Mr. Enter is (or at least was) the most influential reviewer in the animation community, many started parroting his opinions and dubbing the show crap. However, many actually DID like the show and were not pleased by Mr. Enter's review.

Which side is correct? Well, I actually decided to watch an episode of the show and see if there was anything worthwhile in it. Let's see if the show really was worthy of Mr. Enter's rage or if it's just misunderstood.

We'll be watching the episodes "Employee of the Month" and "BroCrastination".

The episode begins with Buhdeuce (voiced by Eric Bauza) packing bread into the rocket-van while singing a crappy rap song. Sway-Sway (voiced by Robbie Daymond) appears and tells Buhdeuce that he's got some news "so big it will make your head EXPLODE". Considering that Buhdeuce is about ninety-five-percent head (he's basically just a head with arms and legs), that might be inconvenient for him...

I wonder if the character designers were at all inspired by Mike Wazowski
when they came up with Buhdeuce.

The news is that today, Sway-Sway is giving out an award. "WHAT. KIND OF AWARD?" Buhdeuce demands to know. Sway-Sway says that it's the first ever Breadwinners Employee of the Month Award. Buhdeuce's head explodes, then he fantasizes about being the Employee of the Month... which results in him kissing a loaf of bread, then telling it that he doesn't kiss on the first date, then an arm pops out of his stomach and punches the bread. This is a very strange show, if you couldn't already tell...

I find this incredibly disturbing.

So then we cut to the ceremony, and we get a long and drawn-out but still kind of funny scene where Sway-Sway takes forever to say who the Employee of the Month Award is going to. Predictably, despite Buhdeuce's expectations he does not get the award despite seemingly being the only employee aside from Sway-Sway working at the place. No, the award goes to the rocket-van.

To be fair, that IS a pretty cool van.

Buhdeuce runs sobbing over to a nearby pond. "It's not fair! I should be Employee of the Month!" he moans. I don't blame him for being upset, considering that a non-sentient vehicle does not qualify as an "employee" (I know that's the joke, but still). He vows to prove to Sway-Sway that he is much better than the rocket-van, and then HE shall be Employee of the Month. And then there's a gag where his pet frog licks his butt. Eugh...

We cut to Buhdeuce and Sway-Sway flying around in the rocket-van. Buhdeuce tries to prove that, like the rocket-van, he can "take a licking and keep on ticking", only to wind up hurting himself multiple times. Next, he tries to prove his superiority by pointing out that unlike the rocket-van, he never runs out of gas. Then we get a fart joke.

Ha ha ha, farting...

Once they arrive back at their... bread factory place, Buhdeuce runs out and starts delivering bread on his own because he still hasn't proved to Sway-Sway that he's better than the rocket-van. He's out all night, and as a result just as he's about to get in bed and go to sleep, Sway-Sway rushes in and tells him that it's time to get up and deliver more bread.

You might have noticed by now that Buhdeuce and Sway-Sway don't actually look anything like ducks. I know it's a cartoon, I shouldn't expect them to be super-realistic, but take a look at some of these other cartoon ducks...

I would hesitate to call any of them realistic-looking, but if you looked at them you'd probably be able to guess that they are indeed ducks (or at the very least birds). Buhdeuce and Sway-Sway, not so much. Honestly, when I first saw them I assumed that they were frogs...

Anyhow, in the rocket-van, Sway-Sway tells sleepy Buhdeuce to secure all the cargo - a bread with Faberge eggs in it. Dunno why anyone would want that, but it's a cartoon, so just go with it. Buhdeuce tries to strap it into a booster seat, but because he's so tired he fails. Then Sway-Sway announces that they're going to go into an extremely reckless and unnecessary vertical ascent. The result - a sleeping Buhdeuce and the bread all go flying out the back door of the van (shouldn't they have locked that?) and towards the mouth of a giant pond monster.

"If only ducks weren't an edible creature!"

Fortunately, the rocket-van sees this and saves Buhdeuce before the monster can gobble him up. So apparently the rocket-van was sentient after all. Once they arrive back at the bread factory place, Buhdeuce apologizes to the rocket-van for trying to take the award. Then he... uh, starts singing for some reason.

Did I mention that the song contains another fart joke? Because it does.
Ha ha ha, farting again...

Buhdeuce's song is about him bemoaning how much cooler the rocket-van is than him and how he can't be the best Breadwinner that he can be. But then Sway-Sway shows up and reassures him that he IS the best Breadwinner that he can be. So what if the rocket-van has levers and fancy parts? Buhdeuce has guts and a really big heart. By the end of the song, Buhdeuce is convinced.

Honestly, the song itself isn't bad. When you compare it to the musical numbers in, say, SpongeBob SquarePants, it falls flat, but it's actually a pretty good song (juvenile lyrics about farting notwithstanding).

Buhdeuce has found spiritual enlightenment.

After the song, Sway-Sway gives Buhdeuce the award for Employee of the YEAR. In response, Buhdeuce's head explodes multiple times. The end.

Now it's time for "BroCrastination".

Buhdeuce and Sway-Sway arrive back at their place after a hard day of delivering bread. They're ready to set the table and eat some bread "like proper ducks". However, then they see a large pile of dirty dishes in the sink.

When your dishes have mold growing on them, I would recommend throwing
them out and getting new dishes.

Apparently, they haven't cleaned the dishes in two years. "We've put this off for too long! These dishes MUST BE CLEANED!" Sway-Sway announces. But instead of washing the dishes themselves, they decide to make the dishwasher do it. Too bad the dishwasher ain't having none of that.

Please do not question why the dishwasher is sentient. And has hair, arms, and legs.

It's also pretty muscular for a dishwasher. Has it been taking steroids?

The dishwasher flees, and then Sway-Sway says that HE can't clean the dishes because he has to, uh, exercise. Buhdeuce then says that HE can't do it because he has to comb their pet frog's hair. Yeah, I think you can see where this is going. Sway-Sway is all "I have to do my crunches!" and then Buhdeuce, he's all "I have to vacuum my bed!" and then Sway-Sway is all "I have to fix the computer!"

Are they aware that their "computer" is actually just an Etch-a-Sketch with
a keyboard?

Eventually, Buhdeuce claims that he can't wash the dishes because he has to play an arcade game where you wash digital dishes. Sway-Sway wants in on that. They make a deal - the loser has to wash the actual dishes that are sitting in their sink continuing to grow mold. So they play the game while singing another crappy rap song (there are a lot of crappy rap songs on this show). Buhdeuce wins, meaning that Sway-Sway must do the dishes. However, after a few minutes Buhdeuce asks if he can help. Soon they get the idea to have their pet frog lick the dishes clean.

Here's their pet frog.

With the frog licking the dishes clean, Buhdeuce and Sway-Sway are free to not to the dishes and go back to playing their game. Too bad the mold that's covering the dishes has become sentient and winds up consuming the frog.

This is what happens when you don't clean your dishes for two years.

The mold monster blasts Buhdeuce and Sway-Sway out of their pad, but then Sway-Sway gets the idea to use the skills they learned playing that game to defeat it. "But where are we going to get a sponge big enough for the job?" Buhdeuce asks. Well, I know a sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea who might be willing to help out... I mean, you guys are on the same channel, after all.

Instead, they spot a nearby Humongous Sponge Factory. "Has that factory always been there?" Sway-Sway asks. "Weird. We have never noticed it before."

Mold starts spewing out of every window and door of their home/bread factory place. The mold monster is now huge, but Sway-Sway and Buhdeuce grab a giant sponge from the factory in their rocket-van and begin to scrub, scrub, scrub until the monster's outta there. Eventually the mold is all gone, their pet frog is safe, and all the dishes wind up being destroyed. And Buhdeuce and Sway-Sway have learned nothing and make up excuses for why they can't clean up the smashed remains of the dishes right away.

So remember, kids, don't procrastinate or else a giant mold monster will come after you.

WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

I gotta admit, Breadwinners was much better than I expected it to be. Is it a GOOD show? Well, I personally found it mediocre at best. But many of the jokes were actually pretty funny. I laughed several times. And having Eric Bauza voicing one of the main characters makes it really hard for me to dislike it. He can do no wrong. So all in all, I likely wouldn't recommend Breadwinners, but kids would probably like it just fine. It's definitely not as bad as Mr. Enter made it out to be. It's no SpongeBob SquarePants, but it's certainly no Fanboy and Chum-Chum either.

Thank you for joining me today. Next time on "Let's Watch This", we'll be venturing deep into the African jungle, where there lives a mysterious figure. His name is legendary. His strength is remarkable. And his theme song is pretty good, too.

Actually, we won't be talking about THAT George of the Jungle.

No, we won't be talking about THAT George of the Jungle either. No, no, we'll be talking about a George of the Jungle who's pretty much just George of the Jungle in name and nothing else.

Yeaaaaaaaah, don't expect this one to be a positive review...