Let's Watch This: An Episode (or Two) of "Little Shop"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

I have never seen Little Shop of Horrors - either the original movie from 1960, the musical it was adapted from, or the movie adaptation with Rick Moranis based on the musical. But I do know that it's a pretty spooky movie about a giant Venus flytrap who eats people. And yet, for some reason, the folks at Marvel Productions and Saban Entertainment thought such a film would be PERFECT for a kids' cartoon show!

How exactly do you make a show for kids based on a horror movie (okay, technically it's a horror-comedy, but you know what I mean)? Well, the show's developers, Mark Edward Edens and Ellen Levy, found a way. First, they made the main characters from the film, Seymour and Audrey, into kids, presumably so the audience could identify with them. Next, they reinvented the giant human-eating plant, Audrey II, as a friendly plant named Junior (voiced by Roland Buddy Lewis, with Terry McGee doing his singing voice) who originated from a fossilized seed rather than from outer space. Thirteen episodes were produced and aired on FOX Kids from September to November of 1991. You can currently find episodes of the show on YouTube.

I'm not sure what the mindset here was. I doubt a lot of kids in 1991 were Little Shop of Horrors fans, and fans of the movie were probably turned off by all the changes and the fact that Seymour and Audrey looked nothing like Rick Moranis and Ellen Greene (even Junior doesn't look much like Audrey II). But since, again, I've never watched any of the actual Little Shop of Horrors adaptations, I'll simply have to judge this cartoon on its own merits... or lack thereof. This is the eleventh episode of the show, "Walk Like a Nerd".

The episode starts off with Seymour (Marlow Vella, with Lisa Michelson doing his singing voice) and Junior on the subway, which is filled with all sorts of strange people. Frankenstein's Monster, a guy eating a flower, Igor, a biker with weird flesh-colored spikes sticking out the top of his head...

Is that his hair?

As the train pulls into the station, Seymour sees Audrey (Tamar Lee) walk by and attempts to make small talk with her. She's a sportswriter now, apparently. I didn't know kids could get jobs as sportswriters.

By the way, take a look at the subway train behind them. I guess it's supposed to look like it's covered with graffiti, but it looks more like Jackson Pollock gave it a paint job.

I'm digging Seymour's elephant hat, too.

After Audrey walks off, Seymour realizes that he left Junior on the train and has to follow it all the way to the end of the line. Junior is none too pleased.

The next day, Mr. Mushnik (Harvey Atkin) walks into the shop and finds Seymour begging Junior not to be mad at him. Well, one thing HASN'T changed from the original movie - Seymour works at Mr. Mushnik's flower shop. Even though he's, what, thirteen?

"Why does a nerd like you get to walk around free as a bud when I have to drag a flower pot around everywhere I go?!" Junior complains. He's so aggravated that he launches into a rap song. Why? Because this cartoon was made during the 1990s, of course! And cartoon characters had a habit of rapping in the 1990s to prove that they were hip and cool with the kids, yo!

Is it at least a GOOD rap song? I think you know the answer.

In an attempt to cheer Junior up, Seymour invites him to sleep over at his house. But Junior doesn't do any sleeping. Instead, while Seymour snoozes he reads about altering your molecular structure. Then he grabs a bunch of household appliances - a broom, a washing machine, a toaster - and combines them into some sort of strange device that even Rube Goldberg would be confused by.

If this thing actually alters his molecular structure, I'll eat my hat with a side of hashed browns.

Does the machine work? Well, not exactly. It doesn't give Junior feet. Instead, it sucks him up, puts him through the rinse cycle, sprays Seymour with water, and then... um... somehow puts him inside Seymour's legs? I have no idea how that happened. None of this makes any sense. I'm not a scientist, but I'm pretty sure this is not how molecular structure altering works!

But whatever, Junior is now in control of Seymour's legs. He's so happy to have feet that he launches into another rap song. This time, Seymour does some rapping too. It's just as cringe-worthy as it sounds.

"Hey, you know what they say, Seymour: two heads are better than one!"

So now Seymour and Junior share a body. And that gives Junior the ability to have Junior take control of Seymour's brain and have him say things like "Where do you think books come from?! Trees! They come from poor, helpless trees! Murdered in cold sap!" While everyone else in his class thinks that Seymour has been posessed by the Lorax, Junior forces Seymour to pull books out of the bookshelf and drive the other students into a frenzy. I will say this, for a kids' show this is just as disturbing as the movie likely is. Having a giant carnivorous plant controlling somebody's body isn't exactly much better than a giant carnivorous plant eating people.

However, there are benefits to having a sassy Venus flytrap sharing your body. For example, Junior manages to save Seymour from a thrashing by school bully Paine Driller (David Huband). TWICE! He also winds up as part of the track team, and starts imagining what winning the track meet would mean. I would now like to show you the funniest thing in the entire episode:

Come on, just LOOK at it and tell me it's not hilarious. I think what really makes it is the fact that his head is way too small for his body. Alas, that hilarious image is promptly followed by another awful song.

After that, with Junior's help Seymour manages to break the school's pole-vaulting record and pulls off the shotput so well that an entire building crumbles. But when they try to throw an incredibly heavy weight, Junior is somehow pulled out of Seymour's body. This might make winning the hundred yard dash difficult. Junior tells him that he didn't need him to win the other events, he just needed confidence. Then he uses his vines to tie the other runners' shoelaces together, torpedoeing the "you just need confidence" moral that they were presumably going for.

Despite that, Seymour winds up tripping over his own feet and then getting trampled by the now-barefoot other runners. As for Junior, he doesn't care that he doesn't have feet anymore. He might not have feet, but at least he's got soul.

"You sure you don't want me to eat that Driller kid? He's pretty obnoxious."

"Nah, we'd never get away with that in a kids' show..."

Nothing about this episode made sense. How did combining a bunch of household appliances put Junior in Seymour's body? Why did it allow him to take control of his brain? Why was the "Junior wants feet" plotline pretty much forgotten about halfway through? What exactly was the moral here?

Now, this is normally the part of the review where I give my thoughts on the show as a whole. But as I was posting it, I realized, hey, this review is incredibly short. I don't like my posts on this blog to be incredibly short. And you know what THAT means, don't you? It means I'm gonna have to look at ANOTHER episode of this show. Because I'm a glutton for punishment.

So, let's watch the SIXTH episode of the show, "Pulp Fiction". A reference to ANOTHER movie that I've never seen.

Seymour and Junior are going to the Skid Row National Forest, home of the oldest living tree in the world. And here I thought the oldest tree in the world was the Methuselah, located in eastern California. Oh, wait, I didn't, because I had to look it up. Don't say I never do my research!

When they get to the forest... I know I already made a reference to The Lorax, but it looks like the Once-Ler has been here. On the bright side, the oldest living tree in the world is still standing. Junior apparently worships it and tries to strike up a conversation. Silly Junior, trees don't talk. Except the ones in Oz, of course.

"All hail the redwood! King of trees! I shall do your bidding, my liege!"

This leads to ANOTHER LOUSY RAP SONG. Y'know, Junior, just speaking fast to a hip-hop beat does not a good rap make. I obviously agree with what you're saying about how pollution is bad, but there are better ways to get people to wise up than this. You could, for example, make a cartoon or write a book about the dangers of pollution. It worked for the producers of FernGully.

I'm sorry, but you can not in any way make rapping squirrels cool.

A few seconds after Junior's totally hip and fly rap song, yo, the tree is cut down. This makes Junior MAD! As it's being driven off to a sawmill, Junior grabs ahold of the tree with one of his vines, dragging Seymour along as well. When they get to the sawmill, Junior is very nearly burned alive. Fortunately, since the sawmill is entirely automated, there aren't any workers around to crap their pants at the sight of a talking venus flytrap.

All sawmills have a portal to Hades in them. Did you know that?

Whatever Junior's plan to save the tree was, it's a failure. Seymour tries to cheer him up by saying maybe the tree was recycled into a great book. Maybe, but there's also a fifty-percent chance it was used to make another one of those crappy Twilight novels.

Seymour then sings another song that sounds like it's trying to be Schoolhouse Rock but doesn't understand why the songs in Schoolhouse Rock work (for one thing, those songs are well-sung). Then he runs afoul of Pained and his dog, who are delivering newspapers. Upon reading the paper, Junior is enraged by the crap featured in it: a guy faces off against a hundred-pound grasshopper? A prehistoric dishwasher found in Egypt? Heck, the front page story is "SUN RISES". Yeah, and here's something else you might not have known: the grass is green!

"And the guys they've got reviewing movies in here don't know what they're talking about!
No way they actually made a film starring Vanilla Ice! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"

"What kind of twisted mind would cut down thousand-year-old trees to print root rot like this?!" Junior demands. "I just made a tree-mendous decision! We're gonna find all the newspapers and take them back to the forest where they belong!" I guess his mindset is that if they plant the newspapers, they'll grow new trees or something? At this point, I'd say ANYTHING is possible in the bizarre world that Seymour and Junior live in.

When people are done with newspapers, they usually throw them out. So it's off to the landfill for Seymour and his amazing talking plant, where Junior... I'll give you three guesses what he does.

Yep! It's another rap song!

Even the dog from that animated Titanic movie is a better rapper than this plant.

Junior's awful rap apparently has the power to control paper, because the newspapers rise into the air and rain down on him and Seymour. Then they actually leave the dump, folding themselves into paper airplanes and inching along like a caterpillar. Instead of going back to the forest, however, the papers all go back to Skid Row. You see, Junior just told them to "go home" - in their minds, "home" is where they were delivered.

Now Skid Row is full of paper - enough paper, as Mr. Mushnik puts it, to "house-train an elephant". Seymour suggests that they all recycle the paper, but apparently everyone in this town is an idiot because they don't know what recycling paper actually is. They use the newspaper as toothpicks, they eat it, they use it as ankle weights, Orson Welles even appears to suggest using it as a napkin.

"No frozen peas jokes, please."

Then the people of Skid Row decide to plant new trees in the national forest. "It's amazing what people can do when they work together," Seymour tells us. Well, I will say this: "Pulp Fiction" was at least better than "Walk Like a Nerd", if for no other reason than because it was less boring and made slightly more sense.

What's the Verdict?

Again, why did anyone think doing a kids' cartoon based on Little Shop of Horrors was a good idea? Even if you try to separate the cartoon from the movie, you're left with very little of substance. The characters are flat, the animation isn't anything to write home about, the jokes aren't funny, and the songs are mostly incredibly lame raps that were probably just as embarassing back in 1991 as they are now. Little Shop has nothing going for it.

TV Tropes compares the show to the 1989 Beetlejuice cartoon, which also aired on FOX Kids and was based off a horror-comedy probably not safe for kids to watch but had the main antagonist from the film as a good guy. I've never seen a single episode of that cartoon, nor have I seen the Beetlejuice movie, so if you're wondering why that show succeeded where Little Shop failed (it had four seasons, was released on DVD, and seems to be looked at more fondly than THIS show was), I couldn't tell you.

Rating: One and a half flowers out of five. Leave the door to this Little Shop closed.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "The Spooktacular New Adventures of Casper"

When hinges creek in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls... it can only mean one thing. That you're on the Haunted Mansion ride at Disney World. But there's a very good chance that you're riding it on Halloween. And that, my dear friends, is what we call a lousy way of saying that Halloween is near. Which you probably already know, because I've already reviewed two "spooky" cartoons due to it being the Halloween season already.

Halloween is the time for watching stuff about monsters. You know, skeletons and werewolves and vampires and ghosts. There's no better time of the year to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas or ParaNorman or whatever. So it should come as no surprise that when Universal decided to make a movie about Casper the Friendly Ghost, they chose to release it... in May. Maybe they were saving October for the release date of another film, I dunno.

Casper did reasonably well at the box office and some good reviews... keyword: SOME. It currently has a fifty-percent "rotten" rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but there are still a lot of people who like it. I mean, why ELSE would Freeform always air it at least once around Halloween? As for me, I remember watching it when I was younger, then never watching it again (unless watching the Nostalgia Critic's review of it counts) until 2015, when I decided to give it another watch. And, honestly, I really didn't like it.

Well, anyway, despite making at least $287.9 million at the box office, the film wasn't successful as Universal had hoped, so that put the kibosh (no pun intended) on there being a sequel. It did get some prequels a couple years later, though. But anyone who wanted to find out what happened to the characters AFTER the movie as opposed to BEFORE it had to settle for watching The Spooktacular New Adventures of Casper.

The Spooktacular New Adventures of Casper premiered on FOX Kids in February 1996, lasting for a total of four seasons. Developed by Sherri Stoner and Deanna Oliver, the writers of the original film, the show focused on the misadventures that Casper (voiced, like in the film, by Malachi Pearson) got into alongside his obnoxious uncles Stretch (Joe Nipote), Stinky (Joe Alaskey), and Fatso (Brad Garrett in the first two seasons, then Jess Harnell in the third and fourth), ghost psychologist Dr. Harvey (Dan Castellaneta) and his daughter Kat (Kath Souice). New characters include Casper's teacher Ms. Banshee (Tress MacNeille), his cousin Spooky the Tuff Ghost (Rob Paulsen), and Spooky's girlfriend Poil (Sherry Lynn).

Is the show any good? I remember watching one or two episodes of it years ago and finding it okay. If nothing else, it can't be any worse than the movie, right? Then again, the show apparently focuses more on Casper's uncles than it does Casper himself. There's one episode where they point this out by having Casper ask why the show is called The Spooktacular New Adventures of CASPER if it's more about his uncles, to which Stretch says, "Merchandising." As someone who found Casper's uncles grating in the movie, that does not exactly fill me with confidence.

Regardless, let's watch an episode of the show and see if Casper's new adventures are really "spooktacular" or if the only thing scary about this show is how bad it is. Each episode consists of at least two (four at the most) segments. We'll be watching the fourth episode. First segment - "Rocket Booster".

The episode starts off with Kat in a bad mood because her homework assignment "totally tanks". Were people really using "tanks" as another word for "stinks" in the 1990s? Is that an example of 1990s slang that I didn't know about before?

Something you'll notice about Kat is that she looks absolutely nothing like the live action Kat in the movie. Also, Kath Souice sounds absolutely nothing like Christina Ricci. I believe this stems from the fact that, like most cartoons based on live action movies, the showrunners didn't have the rights to Christina Ricci's likeness.

"Say, Kat, did you dye your hair? I could've sworn it was brown in the movie..."

Kat's assignment is to write an essay about the Apollo 13 astronauts as though she was actually there. What grade is she in? She doesn't look old enough to be a high schooler, nor does she look young enough to be an elementary schooler, and I don't remember ever having to write something about Apollo 13 when I was in middle school.

Casper tells her that he can tell her all about Apollo 13 because, believe it or not, he was actually there. Seeing as there's no mention of Casper on the Apollo 13's Wikipedia page, I'm pretty skeptical. As is Kat. Why, next you'll probably be telling me that Goofy was part of Buzz Aldrin's crew or something.

"That's one small step for goof, one giant leap for goof-kind, a-HYUCK!"

It all started, according to Casper, when he flew down to Florida in 1970 to get baseball player Wedgie Johnson's autograph. Unfortunately, when Wedgie actually SAW Casper, he wet his pants at the sight of the g-g-g-g-GHOST, hit the autographed ball into the air with his baseball bat for some reason, and ran away screaming.

You'd think Casper would be used to this sort of reaction by now...

The ball flew all the way through the open door of the Apollo 13 shuttle, and when Casper shows up to get it back, he winds up scaring a news reporter. Initially, it's not funny because they just did this exact same joke ten seconds ago. But then the reporter actually blasts off like a rocket (get it? 'Cause they're at a rocket launching?) and it becomes hilarious.

Casper follows the rocket into outer space, and we get the "Casper accidentally scares someone" joke AGAIN. If you're going to recycle a joke, at least spread it out a little. The ball hits a big red button that causes one of the oxygen tanks to fall off. Why would whoever built this rocket put a button that releases the oxygen tank when you push it? That seems like a really dumb idea to me.

The oxygen tank explodes, and the astronauts are panicking because they LIKE being alive.

They're also unbelievably incompetent, seeing as they think THIS is gonna bring the
oxygen back.

One of the astronauts makes a reference to Forrest Gump. Because... hey, that movie exists, right? Houston tells them to locate the oxygen tank toggle, but it takes the astronauts a few seconds to find it despite Casper pointing it out to them.

So... is this going to be most of the episode? Just the astronauts being morons and Casper having to walk them through every single step of surviving?

"Duh, which button do I press? Could it be the one that the random giant green arrow
is pointing to?"

Casper makes a bunch of unfunny jokes ("I don't think he realizes the gravity of this situation." Nyuck nyuck nyuck...) and we get the "Casper accidentally scares someone because he's a ghost" gag AGAIN. That's FOUR TIMES they've done this joke. FOUR TIMES. It's really getting repetitive.

So Casper fixes the oxygen problem, but there's still a damaged heat shield they have to worry about. If they enter the earth's atmosphere with it, they'll be roasted like a Christmas goose. And, okay, I did like this joke:

Awfully casual about being burned alive, aren't you, Mr. Astronaut?

Casper acts as a makeshift heat shield, saving the astronauts from becoming Kentucky Fried Spacemen.

We cut to Kat reading her essay to the class, and predictably, nobody believes her claims that a ghost saved the Apollo 13 (she really should've expected that). The teacher gives her an "A" in creative writing but tells her that she'll have to do her science report over. Casper gets back at him by pulling his pants down. Yes, kindhearted Casper the Friendly Ghost pantsing somebody. Not exactly in-character, but at least it results in a Woody Woodpecker cameo.

"I knew I should've worn my Chilly Willy boxers!"

The class laughs, and the teacher nervously backs out of the room. "Now THAT'S a moonwalk!" Kat quips.

Next segment...

Oh, goody, it's Casper's annoying uncles. They're giving Casper a hard time for not being scary... okay, I'm calling bullcrap. In the first segment alone Casper scared four people without even intending to. It's a Running Gag in the original cartoons that people are scared of him despite how friendly he is.

Casper tells his uncles that he CAN scare people, he just doesn't WANT to. "Listen, Bulbhead," Stretch snaps, "You couldn't be scary if you were Tori Spelling's shopping budget!" Ha ha ha, pop culture reference. But then Casper actually DOES scare them by... playing a record of some woman singing in a foreign language? Huh? I straight-up do not get the joke here.

The third segment begins with Casper talking about how lucky humans are that they don't have to scare anybody. So, I'm guessing this episode is gonna have Casper going all Ariel on us and wishing he could be a human. While he's complaining, he winds up getting some of Kat's makeup on himself. And, if he adds some ears, that'll give him the appearance of being a human. More or less, anyway.

"I'm a real boy!"

He puts on some clothes, turns his... tail-like whisp thing into legs, and presto! He looks like a normal, everyday human being. He heads into town, for once NOT scaring anybody, not even the Arnold Schwartzenegger parody who's here so that the episode can make tired Arnold Schwartzenegger jokes. He walks into a store called "McNeil's Deals" (perhaps a reference to Tress MacNeille?), only for the owner to forbid him from touching anything or else he'd have a lawsuit on his hands if Casper got hurt. Then he decides to go to the movies.

What do these two actors have in common? Hint: they were both in a 1995 movie
that this show takes inspiration from.

Alas, he isn't allowed to go see the movie he wants to because it's rated PG-13. Fortunately, he has a backup plan - go to the local soda shop for some ice cream.

He looks eerily like Caillou, doesn't he?

I expected the joke here to be that Casper, being a ghost, can't eat human food (probably with some cliched "it goes right through me" punchline), but nope, he guzzles it down with no problem. Then he gets the bill, and since he doesn't have the money to pay for it, he winds up getting tossed out on his butt (assuming that ghosts HAVE butts, I mean). Then a runaway piano (it makes sense in context, trust me) runs Casper down, resulting in all the people he encountered in his human disguise thinking that he's been killed. The moral of today's story is to be proud of what you are. Unless you're a human boy, in which case it sucks to be you.

What's the Verdict?

Well, it was better than the movie, I'll give it that. I still didn't care much for it. Not only does Casper sound way too old for a character that's supposed to be a little boy ghost, they made him waaaaaaaay too snarky and easily-aggravated. I don't think it's in-character for Casper, whose entire shtick is that he's a total sweetheart despite being a ghost, to crack jokes at somebody's expense like he does with the astronauts. The jokes are mostly unfunny pop culture references. I suppose that's to be expected since the writers worked on Animaniacs. The animation's pretty good, I'll give it that. But as a whole, it's not an awful show, it's just very blah. I don't think the Animaniacs style of writing (pop culture references and characters being snarky) fits Casper very well.

Side note, there was apparently an episode of the show that parodied Space Jam. No, really. It had Casper and his friends playing basketball against ghostly versions of the Warner Siblings. Unfortunately, that episode doesn't seem to be online yet. I feel the urge to watch it just to see how ludicrous it is.

Further reading:
- Platypus Comix's review of the show

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "The Mask: The Animated Series"

In 1994, a film called The Mask was released.

I have never seen it, but here's the plot of the film as far as I know: this guy named Stanley Ipkiss, played by Jim Carrey, comes across a mask. When he puts it on, he becomes a green-headed lunatic with godlike powers. Hilarity ensues. Eventually he hooks up with Cameron Diaz. It was a critical and commercial success. And this was the 1990s, when anything and I mean ANYTHING could be a cartoon. So somebody said, "Hey, here's an idea! Let's make a cartoon show based on The Mask!" Thus, 1995 saw the premiere of The Mask: The Animated Series on CBS.

The plot doesn't stray too far from the film's: Stanley Ipkiss has a mask that when he puts it on turns him into a godlike lunatic. Despite the fact that (I think) the show is supposed to take place after the movie, with some differences... the movie ends with Stanley getting rid of the mask. Cameron Diaz's character, Stanley's love interest? Yeah, she never shows up. I don't think she's even mentioned. Oh, and the movie also had this one character who sold Stanley out to some mobsters. Here, she's one of the good guys and Stanley's friend. He's super-forgiving. Rob Paulsen took over as the voice of the Mask (and Stanley too, of course). It also has an awesome theme song.

I've watched a couple episodes of this show before, and I don't recall finding it all that great. Here are the episodes I distinctively remember watching:

- The first episode, in which Stanley tries to get rid of the Mask by throwing it in cement, but must get it back to defeat this evil dude voiced by Tim Curry.

- The second episode, in which Stanley babysits an infant who puts on the Mask. Includes a mob boss or something that plays a Barney the Dinosaur parody.

- An episode in which Stanley fights this evil dude who can inflate his body (voiced by Jim Cummings using his Winnie the Pooh voice).

- An episode in which Stanley puts on the Mask and hangs out with his favorite cartoon characters, who are parodies of Yakko, Wakko and Dot from Animaniacs.

- And an episode in which the Mask travels to the future or something like that.

But I watched those episodes a long time ago, so who knows, maybe the show was better than I remember it being. Today, we shall be watching the episode "Martian Mask".

The episode begins on a rainy night. We see a sign reading... um... "Keep Edge City Fluffy"? What? Is "fluffy" slang for "clean" or something? And if so, when did THAT happen?

I mean, I'm not exactly an expert on 1990's slang, but has anyone
EVER used "fluffy" as another word for "clean"?

At the moment, the Mask is in the middle of a car chase. Specifically, he's being chased by this guy named Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway (voiced by Neil Ross) and his sidekick, Detective Doyle, who's voiced by Jim Cummings... and also has his underwear pulled over his head. Ha ha? Kellaway's shtick, apparently, is that he wants to capture the Mask. And Doyle's shtick is that he's a massive idiot. The Mask disguises himself as a police officer so he can pull Kellaway over and pull HIS underwear over HIS head! Underwear! It's automatically funny, right?

"You'll never defeat me, Kellaway! I'm the main character
of the show!"

As he drives off, the Mask presses a button in his car... which causes an umbrella to pop out of his head. Uh... what? Kellaway tells him that he's in violation of the law and to pull over his vehicle NOW. To get away from him, the Mask goes into "warp drive" and turns his car into a rocket ship, then proceeds to fly off into outer space. However, Kellaway isn't too phased. "He's got to come down sometime," he growls, "And when he does, I think I know just where we can find him..."

Look at his pose here. Who does this guy think he is, BATMAN
or something?

So, for those of you who have no idea just what exactly is going on... join the club. We've got jackets.

Then we cut to, um, this...

Didn't Mr. Crocker from The Fairly OddParents have a vehicle like that?

Inside the vehicle, a scientist guy (Jeff Bennett) named Crosby tells this man named Agent X, also voiced by Jim Cummings, that their base in the Arctic or whatever picked up a signal of an "unidentified flying object". Agent X demands photos of this object. Uh, what's going on? When did this turn into X-Files: The Animated Series?

This is Agent X. Is it just me, or does he look a lot like Vallejo from
Fillmore!? Y'know what, new headcanon - this IS Vallejo. He got buff.
I know this show premiered years before Fillmore!, but just work with me
here...

The "unidentified flying object", of course, turns out to be the Mask's rocket. And since the Mask has green skin, Agent X and Crosby immediately come to the conclusion that he's an alien. "This could be a matter of cosmic significance! Not to mention national security!" Agent X announces. "Crosby! Initiate Level A Surveillance! We'll cling to that E.T. tighter than a woodtick clings to your face!" Okay, I still have no idea just what, exactly, is going on, but I think I like this Agent X guy. Of course, his being voiced by Jim Cummings probably has something to do with that...

When did that scientist guy from Looney Tunes get so TALL?

The Mask, meanwhile, attempts to use his ejector seat as he comes in for a landing, but that just results in WACKY SHENANIGANS. Once he lands, he does this...

Okay, that might not be "the visuals in Son of the Mask" levels of creepy,
but it's still pretty dang creepy.

And he realizes that he landed right next to his apartment building! Then we cut back to Agent X and Crosby tracking him. They figure out that he lives in Edge City. But, Agent X wonders, is this a GOOD alien like Zoidberg from Futurama, or an EVIL alien like the one from, well, Alien? Or just an incredibly obnoxious alien like Roger from American Dad?

The next day, we see Stanley minus the mask talking to his dog Milo (Frank Welker) about his run-in with the authorities. He's worried that they're "onto us". Honestly, Stanley, I don't think you have much to worry about. The only real similarity between the normal not-masked you and the Mask is the voice of Rob Paulsen. If Kellaway hasn't noticed "Hey, the Mask's voice sounds very much like that of Stanley Ipkiss" and put two and two together by now, I don't think he EVER will.

Crosby is watching Stanley through a telescope. "I have the subject under surveillance in the designated location," he says to Agent X through his headset, "But he seems entirely human." Agent X tells him that the alien must be a shapeshifter... or just really good at disguising himself.

Meanwhile, completely unaware that he's being watched, Stanley decides that he has to "chill out", and what better way to do that than by watching some TV?

Something you'll notice is that the animated Stanley Ipkiss doesn't look
all that much like Jim Carrey. This presumably is because the animation
company behind this show didn't have the rights to Jim Carrey's likeness,
and they were afraid that if they made the animated Stanley look like Jim
he might sue them or something. It's a common thing in animated shows
based on live action movies.

And he's just in time to watch Lizard Men From Vermont! Funny, I've been to Vermont a couple times and I don't recall seeing any Lizard Men. Then again, I did go there in the winter... maybe they migrate south like the birds do?

Notice the poster of the Wolf from Red Hot Riding Hood in the background
there?

Well, actually, the Lizard Men aren't from Vermont... they're from outer space! It's a sci-fi movie! And the episode's plot revolves around these two guys thinking that Stanley is an alien! Oh-ho-ho the irony!

Isn't that the iguana from the Rainforest Café? You know, this guy?

As Stanley and Milo watch their movie about the rejected Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles villains, Crosby uses a robotic pigeon to pick up "audio transmissions" outside Stanley's window, allowing him and Agent X to hear the movie on TV.

And wouldn't you know it? The Lizard Man in the movie can disguise himself as a human! He takes out a device and speaks into it, "Phase One of my mission is complete. I have assumed humanoid form. I will now anhialate the Earth creatures and pave away for a total conquest of the planet! Bwahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!" WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT STANLEY JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE WATCHING A MOVIE ABOUT ALIENS WHO DISGUISE THEMSELVES AS HUMANS SO THAT THEY CAN TAKE OVER THE EARTH WHILE TWO GUYS WHO BELIEVE THAT HE'S AN ALIEN DISGUISED AS A HUMAN SO THAT HE CAN TAKE OVER THE EARTH ARE LISTENING IN ON HIM?

Agent X tells his hazmat suit-wearing henchmen that they're going in for a pre-emptive strike. They and Crosby barge in and up the stairs, onto to wind up literally running into Kellaway and Doyle (yeah, they're still in this episode). Agent X's all "This is a raid!" and Kellaway is all "Well, we're doing a stakeout!" and they start going at it. "You're out of your league, Flatfoot! Behind that door is an alien bent on world domination!" Agent X barks. "Alien?! He's a common criminal!" Kellaway snaps. Then he grabs one of the hazmat suit-wearing guys and demands, "Where'd you get your training, the Twilight Zone?!" "YOU'RE interfering with a government operation, Brickhead!" Agent X shouts. "YOU'RE trying to steal my collar-glory, guy!" Kellaway shouts back. Here's a suggestion, Kellaway: work on your snappy comebacks. I don't even know what a "collar-glory" is.

So Agent X and Kellaway start brawling. I don't know about you, but I'm rooting for Agent X. Meanwhile, Doyle asks one of the hazmat guys how they're able to use the bathroom in those suits.

"You know, I really loved you guys in Monsters Inc.!"

Back in the apartment, Stanley and Milo are still watching their movie. Apparently, the lizard man fell in love with a human woman while disguised as a human, and he did a Heel-Face Turn for her. The end. Then it cuts to an urgent news flash! The newscaster (Tress MacNeille) announces that a mutant with putty-like superpowers escaped from the "State Pen" the night before, accompanied by a big fish. Stanley recognizes them as Fish Guy and Putty-Thing!

A bit of backstory here: Fish Guy and Putty-Thing made their debut in a previous episode of the show. They were initially a pair of normal teenagers named Dak and Eddie who irradiated themselves so that they could become supervillains. Why did they want to become supervillains? I don't know, I haven't actually seen that episode.

"I have to do something!" Stanley says, but then Milo's barking makes him decide that he should just chill out. Yeah, chill out and let Fish Guy and Putty-Thing commit acts of evil. Great idea there, Stanley. Aren't you supposed to be the hero of the show? Then the newscaster adds that the police are still searching for the Mask after another series of public humiliations, and this makes Stanley decide that a little do-gooding might "offset some bad press" and puts on the mask.

"MASK WILL CRUSH PUNY FISH GUY AND PUTTY-THING!"

The Mask dashes off to save the day, and then Agent X, Crosby, Kellaway, Doyle and the hazmat guys barge into the apartment... and find it to be, with the exception of a dog, empty. And yes, they do indeed play the "wah-wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaaaaaaah" sound effect here. "Nice going, Agent Skywalker!" Kellaway snaps, because apparently all he can think of when it comes to insulting Agent X is referencing random sci-fi movies. The two start going at it again, while one of the hazmat guys (also Frank Welker) sits on the couch eating popcorn.

Then we cut to a convenience store where we finally get to meet (unless you unlike me watched the previous episode where they first showed up) Putty-Thing and Fish Guy. This is Putty-Thing:

I personally think the hat really completes the look that he's going for here.

And this fine fellow is Fish Guy:

Wow, the Incredible Mr. Limpet has really let himself go...

They are voiced by Cam Clarke (who also voiced the Lizard Man from the movie before) and Jeff Bennett respectively. To their credit, they actually decide to PAY for all the stuff that they're grabbing instead of just stealing it like you would expect a supervillain to do, but Putty-Thing asks how they're going to pay for it when they don't have any money. Then they hear on the radio that a prison-escapee with putty-like superpowers just hijacked a car and was last seen in the desert and also a big fish with no powers escaped as well. This makes them realize, hey, they CAN just steal everything that they want because they're villains and villains do things like that. I'll be honest, I initially thought that the radio announcer said "a prison-escapee with MONEY-like superpowers" and that they would bring in a THIRD supervillain who Putty-Thing and Fish Guy would steal money from to pay for all the stuff they want to get. I guess it's for the best that they're not going in that direction, because this episode's got enough opponents for the Mask as is.

So Putty-Thing and Fish Guy attempt to rob the place, but the idiot counter-worker guy (Frank Welker again) asks if he can have Putty-Thing's autograph. He's already got autographs from Thelma, Louise, and Walter (who I believe is another recurring villain on the show) - he doesn't want Fish Guy's autograph, though, because in his own words "ya got no powers and ya smell like my feet!"

In retaliation for the guy's insulting Fish Guy, he and Putty-Thing begin to trash the store. After escaping, the counter-worker guy boredly walks up to the screen and tells the audience, "Ain't my place. I just fill in for Zed on Tuesdays. Generally I fish on weekends!" I like this guy. I honestly want the episode to just be about this guy now.

Seriously, is this guy a recurring character? I will gladly watch more episodes
of this show if it means I get to see more of this guy. He's the best part of this
episode.

Putty-Thing and Fish Guy, as it turns out, are headed for the beach, where not only will there be gnarly waves and hot babes that'll totally want to get it on with them (if they're into that sort of thing, I mean), but also where nobody will ever make fun of Fish Guy again. Because, Putty-Thing says, then Fish Guy will be right where he belongs, "And you can make friends with all the hermit crabs, huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!" However, their little road trip is interrupted when they run into the Mask. The Mask smells Fish Guy by turning his head into a giant nose (thank you for the flashbacks to that one scene in Son of the Mask, I really needed that!) and asks him, "Think of using a deodorant?" "Yeaaaaaaaah..." Fish Guy replies. "Try INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH!" the Mask exclaims before spraying him with pesticide. After that, Putty-Thing grabs the Mask and, uh, absorbs him, I guess...

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get putty out of this suit?!"
"Dude, of course I do! Why else would I be doing this?!"

…and then proceeds to spit him out as a skeleton. "I didn't know I had such gnarly powers..." Putty-Thing admits. But then the skeleton jumps up and starts laughing insanely, freaking Putty-Thing and Fish Guy (and me) out, before it turns back into the Mask. He takes down Putty-Thing with a giant sack of flour and a rolling pin. Then it's on to Fish Guy. Taking him down involves dressing as Captain Ahab, shouting "I SEE THE WHAAAAAAAAAALE!" and getting out a harpoon. If you couldn't already tell by now, the Mask is for all intents and purposes PSYCHOTIC.

"There's an all-you-can-eat buffet at the local Red Lobster, and YOU'RE
GONNA BE PART OF IT!"

I honestly feel kind of sorry for Putty-Thing and Fish Guy. I mean, I obviously don't approve of their robbing the convenience store and trashing the place, but they just want to go to the beach so Fish Guy won't be made fun of anymore. Again, that doesn't justify any acts of evil that these two plan on doing, but still...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fish Guy screams, but thankfully before the Mask can go all harpoon-crazy on him a bunch of helicopters show up... NOT to take Putty-Thing and Fish Guy away but rather to zap the Mask with their laser beams, which helicopters are known to have. It's just common knowledge. Putty-Thing and Fish Guy escape and the laser beams carry the Mask off and place him in Agent X's vehicle. Now they shall transport him to their underground installation... for laboratory experiments! Dun dun dun!

Crosby and Agent X try to communicate with the Mask, but he's too busy being obnoxious to just tell them that, you know, he's not an alien, he's a human being with a mask that gives him godlike powers (then again, I doubt they would believe that anyhow). "It's no use trying to communicate! The only language these aliens understand is FEAR!" Agent X snarls. "Proceed with the experiments!"

I still like to think this guy is Vallejo.

First, they decide to spin the room that the Mask is in around at an incredible speed, but because it's the Mask, he enjoys it. Crosby then decides that bombarding him with "gamma rays, tech-rays, microwaves and high-intensity radiation" should produce interesting results. If this results in the Mask becoming one of the X-Men or something, well, I won't have expected it.

Instead, it causes the screen to go all static-y as the Mask complains about how they interrupted his movie or whatever. "He thinks this is a JOKE!" Agent X snaps. Crosby suggests that they try altering his brain waves. Let me guess, that's not gonna work either, is it? Spoiler alert: it doesn't. Although it does cause him to, uh, become a hippie?

I have no idea what's going on right now...

"Where's the pulverizing switch?!" Agent X demands, fed up with the Mask's annoyingness (well, that makes two of us) and ready to destroy him for the good of humanity. But before he can, Kellaway shows up and announces that he's taking the Mask into custody. As he and Agent X go at it again, the Mask starts... swimming. Why is it that I'm STILL not used to the things that this character can do?

Jeez, and I thought Newton from Ned's Newt was annoying...

The Mask breaks out of the room that he's in and breaks up the fight between Kellaway and Agent X. Agent X asks how he got out of there. The Mask replies, "Oh, plee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-heeeeeeeeeeeeease! That old thing? Hey, I just stuck around because you're almost as amusing as old Liteurant Kellaway here! In fact, you remind me of him. No, YOU remind me of HIM! No, YOU remind me of HIM!"

The Mask dashes off, and we cut to Fish Guy and Putty-Thing. Fish Guy is getting cold, and then they spot a bunny in the road and decide to bang it. I was honestly expecting the bunny to turn out to be the Mask, but then the Mask shows up and tells the audience, "Don't worry, folks! We just threw the cute bunny in there for the cliffhanger effect! I'm going to save him. But FIRST..."

This, I'm guessing, is the part where it cuts to the commercial break. But since I'm watching this online, there are no commercials, so instead it just immediately cuts to him saving the bunny. "Didn't I tell you I'd save him?" he asks. "Didn't I?" After that he catches up with Putty-Thing and Fish Guy and does a bad John Travolta impression, then pretends to be a game show host and tells them that they've won a swiss army knife-esque object that murders fish. Again, I would like to remind you that the Mask is psychotic.

Long story short, Putty-Thing and Fish Guy wind up driving off the road, then when they go after him again he whacks Putty-Thing with a giant mallet. "SOMEBODY STOP ME! AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he shouts before driving off. Then Putty-Thing makes Fish Guy take the wheel so he can clobber the Mask, but Fish Guy can't drive (his fins don't work all that well with the pedals). Then the Mask becomes a sumo wrestler.

If I had to look at this, then you have to look at this too.

Eventually, the three of them wind up driving off a pier and into the water. Putty-Thing, as a result, winds up melting or something, and it turns out that Fish Guy, despite being, you know, a FISH (with hair and glasses, mind you, but still, a FISH) can't swim. "You're not only a lame mutant, you're a lame FISH!" the Mask snaps. Then he scoops the two out of the lake with a large net. "Maybe the beach wasn't such a rad idea after all..." Putty-Thing groans. "Now, you're putty in my hands. Had to say it," the Mask tells him.

Then Kellaway, Doyle, Agent X, and Crosby show up. Kellaway still thinks the Mask is just a criminal. Agent X still thinks that he's an alien. Doyle just thinks that he's misunderstood and what-not. "According to the computer analysis of his test, he's just some guy in a weird mask!" Crosby exclaims... but he and Doyle shrug off this theory as stupid. And wouldn't you know it, THEN AN ACTUAL UFO SHOWS UP.

Why am I not surprised by this?

No, really, WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED BY THIS?

And then an alien beams down from the UFO. Let me guess, it's gonna turn out to be the Mask in disguise.

Eeyup. It is. Were you really expecting it NOT to be?

Anyway, the Mask tells Agent X that he's an "Intergalactic Agent, not unlike yourself". His mission was to take down the Earth mutants and deliver them into Agent X's custody, as only he could comprehend the cosmic threat that they posed and ensure their permanent captivity. Then he pinches Agent X and tells him that "Galactically speaking, we are now even, Steven." And with that, he beams back up into his UFO and flies off.

Agent X turns to Kellaway and snaps, "I TOLD YOU he was an alien!" However, Kellaway knew that the Mask isn't really an alien. He still doesn't believe in aliens. And then the Mask beams him up with his UFO, gives him a wedgie, and beams him back down. "I'LL GEEEEEEEEEEEET YOOOOOOOOOOOOU, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAASK!" Kellaway shouts, and then the episode ends.

WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

There's at least ONE good thing that I can say about this episode - it's got great voice acting. Jim Cummings in particular is awesome as always. And Rob Paulsen is certainly the best choice to voice the Mask. Oh yeah, and that eccentric counter-worker guy was great too. Aside from that, I found the episode blah. Blah and VEEEEEEEEEEEERY irritating. Mainly because the Mask himself is incredibly annoying. There's a right way and a wrong way to do "wacky" characters, and when you do it wrong, it results in a character who drags the entire production down with their obnoxious "look at how wacky I am" shtick (see also Pinkie Pie). I dunno, maybe fans of the movie would like it, but it's just not my thing.

Still much better than Son of the Mask, though.