Let's Watch This... Again: An Episode of "Sidekick"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

Y'know what we haven't done on this blog in a while? A re-review!

Sidekick, created by Todd Kauffman and Joey So for Nelvana, does have a great premise for a cartoon: after so many cartoons about superheroes, how about one about superheroes' SIDEKICKS? Sure, Robin already got his time in the spotlight as the leader of the Teen Titans, but aside from that, there hasn't been much focus on the superheroes' faithful young companions. In this show, kids go to a school called the Academy For Aspiring Sidekicks and learn how to be sidekicks.

The main character, Eric Needles (voiced by Miklos Perlus), is the sidekick of superhero Maxum Man (Ron Pardo), who is currently missing. His best friends are the dimwitted villain's henchman wannabe Trevor Troublemeyer (Christian Potejza), the vain and bossy Vana Glama (Stephanie Anne Mills) who Eric totally has the hots for even though she can't stand him, and Kitty Ko (Denise Oliver), a sweet-natured and highly-intelligent Asian girl who is desperately in love with Eric but he's too stupid to notice, and who I also found to be the best character on the show, the only one I actually kind of liked, and the one who I thought would make a much better protagonist. Other characters include headmaster Professor Pamplemoose (Patrick McKenna) and Maxum Man's sentient computer Maxum Brain (Tony Daniels).

I will say in Sidekick's defense that it has more going for it than something like Scaredy Squirrel or Spliced. However, I wasn't that impressed by the previous episode of the show I watched. But who knows? Maybe I'll like this one better. We're going to watch the thirty-seventh episode of the show, which consists of the segments "The Land Before Grunk" and "I, Sidebot". This is Sidekick... again.

Our first segment is "The Land Before Grunk". It begins with Eric's class learning about the world's first supervillain, Grunk, via a puppet show. No one could stop Grunk because he had an army of dinosaurs (who could apparently breathe fire, unless whoever's putting on this puppet show thinks that dinosaurs and dragons are the same thing)... until Maxum Man arrived. Seeing as Professor Pamplemoose says that Grunk was around millions of years ago, Maxum Man must be tremendously old.

And if that puppet is any indication, he's aged tremendously well!

Using his prehistoric freeze breath, Maxum Man froze Grunk for all of eternity... or until a really hot day, at least. Then, Professor Pamplemoose tells the class that he's going to take them all on a field trip to see Grunk... after a grueling three-hour bus ride through the desert.

Wait, the frozen supervillain is currently being held in a DESERT? Y'know, a place where it gets very, very HOT? Where there's a pretty good chance that the ice containing him could MELT? That's like trapping Hansel and Gretel in a prison cell made of gingerbread.

Just curious, do they ever explain why Pamplemoose has green skin?

Apparently, whoever chose to place the frozen Grunk in a desert wasn't so stupid after all - he's hidden in an ice cave, which deserts do indeed sometimes have (often formed in lava tubes). Since Eric and Trevor were asleep during the puppet show, they have no idea what they're even doing in the desert, much to Pamplemoose's ire. If Grunk were freed, he claims, they would all be doomed and cavemen and dinosaurs would roam the earth once again. Wouldn't it just be one cavemen, or does Grunk have a bunch of brothers frozen in ice too?

Well, anyway, as his classmates head to the gift shop, Eric stupidly decides to throw a small rock at the frozen Grunk. And even though his rock-throwing skills are miniscule, it does cause a crack to start forming in the ice. A few seconds later...

Jeez, we're already three minutes in and already chaos has ensued. Pacing is a thing, guys.

"THANKS, DUMB-SHAPED KID, FOR RELEASING GRUNK," Grunk tells Eric from atop his tyrannosaurus rex (yes, yes, dinosaurs and cavemen did not co-exist, it's a cartoon, they can take some historic liberties). Upon hearing that, Vana has to be restrained from punching Eric... and, honestly, while it has been previously established that Vana has anger issues, I don't blame her for wanting to clobber him. Then Grunk steals Eric's sandwich, which makes Kitty MAD! "Nobody steals from my Eric!" she declares... even if Eric has a habit of getting her name wrong. As those of you who read my previous review of the show might recall, Eric is a tool.

Huh, Grunk has green skin too. I wonder if he's Pamplemoose's ancestor or something.

Then we get two disgusting jokes in a row! First of all, Grunk falls in love with Kitty. Reminder, he's a million-year-old caveman and she's... at least twelve, right? This is all sorts of wrong. Then we get a joke involving Trevor FARTING IN KITTY'S FACE. Ew.

Even Bee Movie was a better love story than this!

Grunk promptly kidnaps Kitty, and her friends pursue him in Maxum Man's car... I guess Eric already has a driver's license even though he's... again, at least twelve. "You've just stolen my one true love!" Eric shouts. Of course, he's not referring to Kitty. He's referring to the sandwich. Honestly, Kitty, what do you see in this guy? On the bright side, Eric does promptly get stomped on and then eaten by the t-rex.

Hooray! This means Kitty can be the new protagonist!

And because Trevor is a tool too, his reaction to seeing his best friend get eaten is to cheerfully say, "Cool!" Kitty demands that Grunk bring Eric back ASAP, so the t-rex barfs Eric out. I'm sorry, but I still find it really disturbing that Grunk is in love with someone who's clearly a teenager at the oldest. They really didn't think this plot point through, did they?

Vana is annoyed that Grunk is attracted to Kitty instead of her, because apparently she has a thing for cavepeople? And Eric's still more upset over the sandwich than he is over Kitty being kidnapped. Kitty needs to get some better friends.

While Eric and Trevor are working on a plan to stop Grunk, poor Kitty is trapped in a cage being hit on by someone several decades older than she is. Eventually, Eric and Trevor show up, dressed in Maxum Man costumes. But Grunk has an ultimate weapon he can use against them. Y'know how owls often cough up pellets with mouse bones and stuff in 'em after they eat? Well, t-rexes do that too... or maybe it's actually just their poop. Either way, disgusting.

Jeez, how many people have those t-rexes eaten? Maybe now we know what happened
to Maxum Man...

Eric and Trevor dodge the t-rex crap, and Grunk... gets confused and gives up. Normally, I'd complain about this being anti-climactic, but there are two reasons why I won't. First of all, if the alternative is him throwing more poop at them, I'll gladly take this instead. Second, HE might be giving up, but the t-rexes aren't.

It initially seems like the t-rexes eat Eric and Trevor, but instead they just put them in the cage with Kitty. But when Eric sees that Grunk still has his stupid sandwich... who is he, the Rob Paulsen-voiced alien from Lilo and Stitch: The Series?

Anyway, he gets an idea: he calls up Vana, but she refuses, even though these are her BEST FRIENDS. What, is she still bitter that Grunk didn't fall head over heels in love with HER? I'd say you dodged a bullet, Vana. Fortunately, Eric gets another idea. He tells Vana that, actually, they don't need her, they have Kitty, who's so much braver and smarter and better than she is (I mean, he's not wrong). Sure enough...

"Yabba-dabba-doo, punks!"

Vana manages to defeat the t-rexes - and even BLOWS ONE UP FROM THE INSIDE, maybe that's just the animal-lover in me talking but I find that pretty gruesome. "EAT ICE, CAVEMAN!" she shouts before zapping Grunk with her freeze-gun, trapping him in ice once again... and also Eric, Trevor, and Kitty as well. Oh, and Eric's precious sandwich, can't forget THAT.

"I WAS FROZEN TODAY!"

I'm going to assume that Vana eventually came back and freed Eric, Trevor and Kitty with an ice pick, because all three of them are okay in the next segment...

Today, the class has a guest speaker: this old guy who tells them that they won't have to risk life and limb assisting superheroes anymore. He picks up one kid and starts using him to wipe his butt... ANOTHER thing that is wrong on a number of levels...

He introduces Laser-Operating Individual Digital Sidekicks (L.O.I.D.S. for short). They're flying robots that will be assisting the superheroes instead of the sidekicks. Pamplemoose dubs the students obselete and closes the academy.

It should be pretty obvious why I chose to review this episode in particular. Nowadays, companies are obsessed with AI and want to use it to replace human employees - ESPECIALLY those that work in the animation industry. At some point, I might wind up reviewing a cartoon made or written entirely by AI. I really hope everyone calms down about AI before that happens, but something tells me this episode is going to serve as a cautionary tale that nobody listened to. By the way, I never use AI when writing my blog posts - so if you see a spelling error, a grammar error, or a joke that's not funny in the slightest, that's on me.

I guess the appeal of AI for these companies is that you don't have to pay it like you do
employees. Because I'm sure it's SUCH A HASSLE for Disney, the company that makes billions
of dollars a year, to pay their animators, rihgt?

Unlike all the other students, Eric is THRILLED that he's been replaced by a robot. Kitty is dismayed because if the school closes, how will she see Eric? He suggests that she can just visit the mansion, which gives Kitty the idea to sneak into the mansion while Eric is sleeping and... capture his farts in a jar?

Okay, Kitty, you're still the best character on the show, but this is a big no-no.

Why would she even WANT his farts, anyway?

"I won't stand for this! No machine can replace ME!" Vana declares. But Eric is still thrilled - now they won't have to fail tests and put their lives in danger... but then it occurs to him that if he's not a sidekick, he might not be able to live in the Maxum Mansion anymore. He'll have to go back to the orphanage! And he's so tired of singing "It's the Hard-Knock Life"!

Sure enough, Maxum Brain tells Eric when he gets home that he's no longer staying in the mansion. Now he'll have to go stay with Trevor, who's started invention EEEEEEEEEEVIL things like a "funday device" that spreads doom in a "fun way". Even ignoring that, bunking with Trevor probably isn't the best idea, what with his pet gargoyles around too.

Note to self: review Gargoyles at some point...

After recruiting Kitty's help and getting Eric's clothes back off-camera (they were previously taken by Maxum Brain because they were property of Maxum Man or whatever, hence why he was shirtless in the previous screencap), Eric and Trevor go visit Vana, who has calmed down by doing light reading, knitting, and making exact replicas of the L.O.I.D.S. out of her earwax. Yeah, it should be pretty obvious that she's basically a ticking timebomb - and when Eric asks for her help, she snaps like a twig and suddenly becomes incredibly buff.

SOMEONE's been skipping Leg Day.

"THOSE ROBOTS DON'T STAND A CHANCE!" Eric shouts... only for him and his friends to learn the hard way that they do. One of the L.O.I.D.S. effortlessly ties them to a lamppost. "CURSE THESE BRUTAL MECHANICAL MARVELS!" Kitty exclaims, prompting the L.O.I.D.S. to at least give her a pillow. But what's this? The superheroes of their town have shown up to save the day! Even THEY know that robots can't replace REAL sidekicks! Hooray!

Oh, wait. Never mind. The L.O.I.D.S. tie up the superheroes too.

I want to know more about the blonde-haired cyclops girl. What's HER story?

"There's only one thing left to do!" Eric says - NOT invent yogurt shoes, like Trevor guesses, but go to the evil side of town and enlist the help of the worst supervillain the world has ever known! Who could that be? Lex Luthor? Doctor Octopus? Elon Musk?

Nope, it's this guy named XOX (Ron Rubin) - the evil alter-ego of Trevor's father. He explains that since the L.O.I.D.S. replaced all the superheroes and sidekicks and took the fun out of being bad, he decided to quit villainy and start a band! I assume his bandmates are recurring villains who appeared in other episodes of the show.

I want to know about the green-skinned muscle-bound guy on the drums, too.

Eric and the others manage to play XOX like a fiddle and get him to help them take down the L.O.I.D.S. - in turn, he enlists the help of every other supervillain in town. And so the L.O.I.D.S. are defeated and the day is saved.

Just kidding. The L.O.I.D.S. are too powerful for THEM, too.

The words "EPIC FAIL" are coming to mind...

Since the L.O.I.D.S. are unstoppable, everyone decides to pack up, leave the city and build a new one where they can continue their superhero/supervillain/sidekick thing and never speak of the L.O.I.D.S. again. Huzzah! Of course, Trevor stupidly suggests that maybe they should build robots to do their work for them. I expected everyone to slap him for being such an idiot or at least shout "NOOOOOOOOO!" at the top of their lungs, but nope, everyone starts to think it over.

So I guess this implies that they're going to do the episode over and over again - build robots, find themselves unable to defeat them, leave town and build another one, lather, rinse, repeat.

What's the Verdict?

I'm still gonna have to put Sidekick in the mediocre category. I actually think one of the segments in the previous episode I reviewed, "Match Dot Com", was better than either of the episodes I reviewed here. There's only so many times you can say that Kitty is the only likeable character or that most of the jokes (mainly the ones involving Trevor) aren't funny before the review starts to become repetitive. Good voice acting and the occasional clever gag - I particularly like how the episode ends with them abandoning the town and building another one, even if it's a bit of an anti-climax - save the show from being a complete waste of time, but I still wouldn't recommend watching it.

Incidentally, y'know how I keep saying that the show would be better if Kitty were the protagonist? According to Wikipedia and TV Tropes, she WAS originally supposed to be the protagonist. Why'd they change it? We don't even NEED Eric, Trevor and Vana - just do a show about Kitty learning how to be a sidekick at the academy and getting thrown into bizarre situations as a result. That would've been so much better!

Let's Watch This: "Rolie Polie Olie: The Great Defender of Fun" (2002)

Do you remember Rolie Polie Olie?

There's a very good chance that you do. Produced by Nelvana and created by children's book author William Joyce, the show ran on Playhouse Disney from 1998 until 2004, taking place in a world that would've felt right at home in a Fleischer Studios cartoon - except it was in CGI and all the characters were robots. I loved this show when I was younger - I was lucky enough to be in its target audience during the time when Playhouse Disney had a lot of really great shows. Bear in the Big Blue House, Stanley, The Book of Pooh, Out of the Box... fortunately, you can find all of these shows on Disney Plus now, but it's not quite the same.

Rolie Polie Olie was a pretty popular show, if not to the same level of popularity as Bear in the Big Blue House. But it did have one thing that Bear didn't have - a movie. In fact, it got TWO movies! Both of them straight-to-video, but still, a movie's a movie. 2002 saw the release of the first Rolie Polie Olie movie, Rolie Polie Olie: The Great Defender of Fun.

I remember watching this movie when it came out on DVD, and liking it well enough, but I haven't seen it in years. Does it hold up? Well, I found the film on YouTube (which is convenient, since it doesn't seem to be on Disney Plus and I no longer have the DVD), so why don't we find out?

The movie begins in a galaxy full of sentient planets and stars, triumphant music playing in the background, before we come across... what I could only possibly describe as nightmare fuel.

Seriously, that clown head with the purple skin alone is gonna appear in my
nightmares, I just know it...

This, a narrator tells us, is the faraway "Galaxy of Goofs", and it's been invaded by a dark force. The master of gloom, the pirate of pleasure, the worstest, baddest bot in the universe (the narrator's words, not mine)... Gloomious Maximus! He's nasty, he's diabolical, and worst of all, he's voiced by James Woods! AAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

...uh, is that blood on his chin?

With his "Un-Funarators", which kind of look like the speaker horns from gramophones, he can suck the fun out of EVERYTHING! In other words, he's the Rolie Polie Olie equivalent of those guys who complain about cartoon mascots being used to advertise sugary cereal to kids. Y'know, the people we have to blame for the Trix Rabbit being out of a job?

Gloomious uses his "Un-Funarators" to suck the fun out of the Galaxy of Goofs' residents. Fortunately, who should show up to save the day but Spaceboy and Spacedog, who are basically Rolie Polie Olie and his dog Spot but blue and dressed in chrome. They will defeat Gloomious by... laughing at him. Apparently this villain's weakness is laughter. Ah well, it's better than being defeated by SNEEZING...

"Astro Boy can suck it!"

All of this is just a TV show that Olie, his sister Zowie, and his square-shaped friend Billy Bevel are watching. The narrator tells them to help Spaceboy and Spacedog by laughing as well. It works, the creatures of nightmares are filled with fun again, and even Gloomious' minions are yukking it up. Gloomious is all "DRAT! I've been foiled by LAUGHTER!" and leaves.

Olie and Zowie's mother enters the room and reminds them that it's Zowie's birthday party tomorrow (plot exposition!), then on TV, Spaceboy tells the audience that Gloomious has a new weapon called a "Super-Powerful, Ultra-Gloomerator Glum-Beam" and to call the "Spaceboy Hotline" if they get in a jam. I assume this is more exposition. Also, Blogger's spell-check is getting a pretty good workout from this post.

I'm guessing Billy wouldn't be offended if you were to call him a "blockhead".

Olie, Billy, and Zowie send out invitations for Zowie's party via tiny rockets, because why not? One of the rockets leaves their planet's atmosphere and goes into space - and it's heading right towards a ship that looks a lot like the one Gloomious Maximus was piloting in the show Olie, Billy and Zowie were watching...

Hmmm...

And guess who's piloting that ship? Why, Gloomious Maximus, of course! He's not just a character in a TV show? Does he play himself in the show and then just go out to do evil stuff? Or is the Gloomious Maximus in the show an imposter? I wonder if he's ever considered suing for defamation of character.

Anyhow, the rocket winds up aboard the ship, and when Gloomious reads the invitation inside he makes it his goal to ruin Zowie's birthday party. But first, he's going to sing an awful song about how much he hates fun.

I believe this song is called "The Karens' National Anthem".

Back on the Polies' planet, Olie and Billy have invented what looks like a Nerf gun that shoots bubbles (SpongeBob would love that). Olie's dad and his Uncle Gizmo show up with an invention of their own - a handy-dandy energy refibulator, which can synthesize anything's energy into a powerful ray. For instance, it can take the yummy taste of cookies (does something's taste really quality as "energy"?) and make a yummy ray.

Question: how come some of the robots in this show have hair and others don't? Does Olie
ever feel self-conscious about being bald?

Olie explains that he wants to give the bubble-blowing gun to Zowie for her birthday, but he was hoping it would be a special super-silly ray instead. "Maybe you just haven't got enough silly in it yet," his dad suggests. Perhaps they could use the energy refibulator to refibulate the energy of them being silly and create an actual silly ray.

You're probably wondering why Uncle Gizmo is an Elvis impersonator. I'm wondering that too. Do robots in outer space even know who Elvis is? We never see any humans in this show, but the planet Olie lives on isn't supposed to be Earth (at least I don't THINK it is), so I doubt we're supposed to assume that humanity went extinct or anything.

Anyway, the robots all act silly, and the energy refibulator does its thing and turns the bubble-blowing gun into a gun that blows bubbles that make people act silly. I really hope such a device doesn't fall into the wrong hands...

"Spider-Bot, Spider-Bot, does whatever a Spider-Bot does
Can defy, gravity, when he acts, real silly
Look oooooooooout, he is a Spider-Bot..."

"It works! This is gonna be the A-Number-One-bestest present I ever gave Zowie!" Olie declares. When he and Billy bring up Gloomious Maximus, Olie's dad and Uncle Gizmo reveal that they know about Gloomious Maximus too. When they were small, they watched Gloomious on a show called The Willy and Wally Jolly Hour. Who are Willy and Wally Jolly? Why, only the greatest Defenders of Fun ever. They also looked much more human than any of the other robots we've seen. In fact, they kind of look like prototypes for Rodney Copperbottom, another William Joyce-created robot character.

Wow, Gloomious Maximus hasn't aged a day since then.

...wait a second. DO robots age?

Meanwhile, Gloomious fires his Glum Beam at Olie's hometown of Polieville, which will put everyone to sleep, leaving them powerless to stop him from sucking the fun out of their lives. It doesn't seem to have any effect on Olie, Billy, Zowie, or Spot, but Olie's dad and Uncle Gizmo turn blue and become very, very tired. "It's like they've been... Gloomerated," Olie points out. "Time to call the Spaceboy Hotline!"

Olie calls up the hotline and tells Spaceboy - who ALSO exists and isn't just a TV show character, apparently - about what's going on. He tells Olie that he, Billy and Zowie weren't affected by the Glum Beam because they were wearing party hats, which deflected the beam's power. "Try to keep your chins up! I'll be there as fast as I can!" he declares. Until Spaceboy gets there, Olie decides that they'll have to be Great Defenders of Fun just like Willy and Wally. Oh yeah, and Olie and Zowie's goofy grandpa Pappy shows up, but he's been "Gloomerated" too.

Becoming "Gloomerated" is what happens when you spend too much time on Twitter.

Boy, these jokes are just writing themselves...

Pappy might have been "Gloomerated", but his seemingly sentient dentures haven't for some reason, which is a good thing because Olie, Billy, Zowie, and Spot are gonna need all the help they can get - especially since Gloomious' ship has arrived! Zowie decides to cheer up the "Gloomerated" bots by tickling them, and Olie, Billy, Spot, and the dentures head to the park to stop Gloomious from sucking the fun out of everything.

They use the silly bubble-blowing gun to make Gloomious' minions act silly, but it doesn't work on Gloomious himself. After a rousing game of Keep-Away and the dentures biting Gloomious' posterior, Spaceboy and Spacedog show up to help, as do Zowie and the remainder of the Polie clan, now de-Gloomerated. "We'll laugh you right out of Polieville, Gloomious Maximus!" Mrs. Polie declares.

Gloomious' one weakness - jokes about his weight. When he sits around the house,
he SITS AROUND THE HOUSE.

"Too many laughs! Too much happiness!" Gloomious says, but then he manages to get his hands on the silly ray/bubble blowing gun. Remember what I said about hoping that device didn't fall into the wrong hands? Well, as Gloomious heads back to his ship with the gun, he makes it clear that he has eeeeeeeeeevil plans for it. Olie is bummed that he doesn't have a present for Zowie now, but Zowie says, "Me no need present. Me want Olie happy." Then Mr. Polie gets bitten on the butt by the dentures (they must be very powerful dentures if they can bite characters made of metal).

Olie, Zowie, Billy, Spot, and the dentures are heroes, and Pappy is so happy that he starts tap-dancing. But he winds up busting his "happy gear", which means he can't dance. To make matters worse, they're being interviewed on TV, and Gloomious is watching them, so when he sees this he gets an idea... an awful idea... Gloomious has a wonderful, awful idea...

Curse you, movie, for making me crave cake at 9:16 in the morning.

While Mrs. Polie is finishing up the cake for Zowie's party, Dr. Geary the Gyropractor shows up to help Pappy. He fixes the happy gear, and Pappy can dance again. So, pointless conflict - torpedoed. Let's celebrate with a musical number!

Be warned - once this song enters your head, it will never leave.

I wonder what the mindset was behind making the Polies' house a giant teapot.

Alas, Pappy's happy gear starts acting up again, but all sorts of mail comes in to help fix the problem - a new Happy Gear, a can of oil, etc. None of it seems to work, though. At least until they try the hyperactive giggling pickle (yes, that's in the movie. I did not make that up).

Gloomious' minions drop off another rocket at the house, and when they open it up, out pops a tiny storm cloud that zaps Pappy with lightning and messes up his happy gear once again. Why don't they just use the pickle again? It worked the first time.

Instead, Olie decides that they have to get the silly ray back - then they can just ZAP Pappy back to being happy. Or, y'know, just use the pickle again. But considering that Gloomious' minions are sabotaging the party, culminating in them sending Zowie and Pappy flying away with a giant balloon, maybe it'd just be easier to take down Gloomious once and for all.

"Ground control to Major Tom..."

Mr. and Mrs. Polie hop into their flying car (which looks suspiciously similar to the one George Jetson drives) and go after Pappy and Zowie. They'd better hurry, because Gloomious' minions are on their tail. Eventually, Pappy and Zowie wind up floating right into the clutches of Gloomious, and thanks to his minions' messing with a directional signpost, Mr. and Mrs. Polie are sucked into a wormhole - which, amusingly, is actually shaped like a worm.

Olie, Billy and Spot head into space themselves in a rocket ship they've constructed, followed by Uncle Gizmo on his flying motorcycle. Olie, Billy and Spot make it into Gloomious' ship, and when Gloomious is all "You aren't going anywhere!" Olie reveals their secret weapon - the hyperactive giggling pickle!

"NO, PLEASE, I'M ALLERGIC TO PICKLES!"

While Gloomious is dealing with the pickle, they manage to swipe back the silly ray and fix Pappy for the third time. Everybody heads home, including Mr. and Mrs. Polie who finally make it out of that wormhole. Birthday party time!

So, the day is saved, Gloomious is defeated, Zowie has a great birthday... but wouldn't you know it, the film STILL isn't over. Gloomious has now decided to PULL THE ENTIRE PLANET THAT OLIE LIVES ON TO THE GALAXY OF GLOOM. Dude, know when to throw in the towel. Fortunately, he pulls the planet by a little green planet where two... alien robots, I guess, called the Littlegreens live, so Olie calls them up to ask them if they know what's going on.

Oh, look, there's a beautiful full Gloomius Maximus head in the nights sky...
wait a minute.

Next, Olie calls up the Spaceboy Hotline, but Spaceboy's busy at the moment. So then Mr. Polie gets the idea to pull the planet back to its original spot with his car and Uncle Gizmo's motorcycle. Unfortunately, Gloomious' ship is much more powerful. Fortunately, Spaceboy and Spacedog see what's going on and fly over to help Mr. Polie and Uncle Gizmo. Unfortunately, Gloomious manages to knock Mr. Polie and Uncle Gizmo out by pelting them with bowling balls. Fortunately, the planet that the land on is the very same planet that Willy and Wally Jolly call home. Huzzah!

How does a robot grow a mustache?

The effects of the Galaxy of Gloom are already taking effect, and the Polies are starting to turn into a bunch of Eeyores. But then they get a call from Spaceboy, who tells them that they need more turbo power. Then Mrs. Polie gives Olie another idea - if they get Gloomious' happy gear going again, maybe his heart would grow three sizes. In the meantime, Mrs. Polie and Pappy enlist the help of everyone in Polieville to get the planet away from the Galaxy of Gloom, and Olie and Zowie enlist the help of various Polieville kids to act silly so the energy refibulator can add more silliness to the silly ray. Once it's nice and silly, they give the ray to Pappy just as he's about to take off into outer space.

So now it's basically a tug-of-war for the planet Polie.

If a planet actually WERE pulled to another location in the galaxy, would the clouds
come with it? I legitimately have no idea, I'm not a science expert...

"Cheer up, Gloomious!" Olie says, channeling his inner action movie hero, as he, Billy, and Zowie arrive in Gloomious' ship with the silly ray. Gloomious threatens to suck the fun out of Billy if they don't hand over the ray, but Billy urges Olie to blast him with as many bubbles as possible. Gloomious is overwhelmed, and despite his best efforts winds up being scrubbed of all gloomy thoughts. He even starts LAUGHING, and agrees to let the Polie planet go.

Then Zowie invites Gloomious to her birthday party, and - I know I already made this joke, but it fits the situation perfectly - Gloomious' heart grows three sizes. Or rather, his happy gear starts working. He's so happy he starts singing.

The movie ends with everybody dancing in a conga line to the moon. Make up your own joke here, I've got nothing.

What's the Verdict?

I'm glad I rewatched this. It's hardly Oscar-worthy, but it's a fun little movie. My only complaint is that it's needlessly long. There's a lot of padding that could have easily been taken out - like, did we need to be tricked into thinking that Pappy's happy gear was fixed TWICE before it got messed up again? Also, the songs were kind of weak. Still, it has everything that makes the show good - likeable characters, decent animation, and a cheeryness about it that, in today's more bitter and cynical world, is desperately needed. If you have kids, show 'em Rolie Polie Olie - start with the show, then this movie. They'll probably like it. As for the OTHER Rolie Polie Olie movie, The Baby Bot Chase, we'll look at it another time.

This review is brought to you by... a stick.

It's a stick. You can go outside and find one. And there's so many things you can do with a stick! You can poke things with it, you can feed a beaver with it, you can throw it for your dog to fetch... look, not EVERY review on this blog can be brought to you by something funny.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Grossology"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

Look, I'm just gonna be blunt here: I don't like gross-out humor. Snot, drool, barf, farting, that sort of thing... maybe I'm just an oversensitive ninny, but I've never found it funny. I just find it disgusting. With that in mind, this show having the word "Gross" in the name doesn't exactly fill me with confidence.

Okay, okay, what exactly IS Grossology? Well, you see, it started as a 1992 children's book written by Sylvia Branzei. The book's Amazon page dubs it a "guide to all things gross". The book spawned a couple sequels, some CD-ROMs, a traveling exhibition, and - of course - a TV show. The Grossology show, developed by Simon Racioppa and Richard Elliott for Nelvana, premiered on YTV in Canada on September 29th, 2006. In the United States, the show's first season aired on Discovery Kids, then the second season aired on Qubo. Fifty-two episodes were made.

I've never read the original Grossology books, but from my understanding the series has very little in common with them aside from the name and subject matter. It focuses on two teenage secret agents named Ty (voiced by Michael Cohen) and Abby Archer (voiced by Krystal Meadows), who work for the Department of Grossology, a secret government bureau that handles all the problems too disgusting for anyone else to want to get involved with. Usually these problems involved a supervillain who has something to do with a bodily function or something like that. Sounds repulsive, doesn't it?

But this isn't just a gross-out show, no, no... it's also EDUTAINMENT! According to TV Tropes, anyway. I assume this means the show teaches the kids watching at home about head lice and farting while Ty and Abby fought the villains weaponizing them.

I don't know how big of a fanbase this show has. I found some fanart on DeviantArt and a few posts praising the show on Tumblr, so there are SOME fans at least. As for me, I've never watched the show - like I said, I don't like gross things in my cartoons. But who knows? Maybe I've misjudged it. Maybe it's actually really good. We'll be watching the ninth episode of the show, "It's Gotta Be the Shoes", to find out.

SUGGESTION: Don't read this review while eating something. Probably not the best idea.

We start off with two basketball players in the locker room. One of them takes off his shoe, complaining about how much his feet hurt, and shows us his smelly sock. Okay, I guess that's not TOO disgusting...

I mean, the sweat stain's a little gross, but aside from that, I can stomach it.

Then he takes off his sock and DEAR LORD WHAT IS THAT?!

What is going on with his foot?! Does playing too much basketball turn your foot into a sea lamprey?! Particularly disgusting is how there is GREEN SLIME leaking out of it. Is there a scientific name for this? Is it Nickelodeon-itis?

After that bit of nausea-inducing imagery, and the theme song, we are treated to a commercial for basketball shoes called KVK1s. Instead of Michael Jordan, the ad stars basketball player Keith Van Kobbler. Oh, I get it. Van Kobbler. Sounds like "cobbler". And cobblers make shoes. At least when they don't have elves doing all the work.

Abby and Ty are watching the ad with two friends whose names I don't know at the mall. Ty isn't fooled by the commercial's claims that the shoes will automatically make you the new Shaquille O'Neal, saying, "If a scientist is the best, it's not because he has the coolest test tubes." But the two friends and Abby are completely suckered in.

Or maybe Abby just has the hots for Keith Van Kobbler. It's a little unclear.

We then see Abby at a basketball court, where she has to put up with the annoyingness of Paige, her snobbish popular girl rival - basically the Sharpay of Grossology. Her voice actress, Melissa Altro, also provided the voice of Muffy Crosswire from Arthur, ANOTHER character whose shtick was that she was an obnoxious snob more often than not. So it's kind of like Muffy in her teenage years.

Muffy... I mean, Paige has on a pair of KVK1s, and she's all too happy to rub it in Abby's face that she has them and Abby doesn't. Apparently, the contour fitting of the shoes gives your foot "a tight, foamy hug", each shoe has a spray that creates optimum humidity for maximum comfort, the insoles massage your feet, and there's even a stereo accessory that allows the shoes to play music.

That stereo looks more like an iPod to me (maybe it IS and Paige just said "stereo"
so Apple doesn't sue the showrunners).

AND the shoes have "super-bounce capability" - which means that the soles inflate. Ty still thinks it's ridiculous that everyone wears the shoes just because some pro athlete wears them, but Abby is totally getting suckered in (or at least tempted to buy the shoes just to make Paige shut up).

Just then, the two get a call from the head of the Bureau of Grossology, simply known as The Director (Paul OSullivan), who tells them that they have a situation at the basketball arena - a "festering fungus-filled" situation. "Cool!" Ty and Abby exclaim, clearly having a much better appreciation for disgusting things than I do. It's time to get suited up!

Yeah, Paige might have cool shoes, but does she save the world on a regular basis? I didn't
think so.

Somehow, ALL of the basketball players have wound up with what Abby dubs the nastiest case of Athlete's Foot in history. Hmmm, it looks like they were all wearing KVK1s before they got them. Juste une coincidence?

Ty takes a closer look at the KVK1s and discovers that they're all filled with fungus. Abby suggests that they take a sample to their friend Lab Rat for analysis. Lab Rat (Deven Mack) works as tech support for the Bureau of Grossology... which from now on I'm just going to call B.O.G. because it's a lot easier to type... and is basically the Wade to Ty and Abby's Kim Possible.

Apparently, this character's design was actually inspired by Deven Mack's appearance.
That's pretty neat.

Lab Rat explains what Athlete's Foot is. The fungus it creates chomps on old skin cells and then starts to multiply... and I don't mean it starts doing arithmetic. It causes dry skin, intense itching, inflammation, and blisters. Suddenly, I don't feel so bad about never being super-athletic anymore. "But why were so many different strains of fungi found in one shoe?" Lab Rat asks.

Ty thinks that the KVK1s have something to do with the Athlete's Foot, but Abby is all "No way, Keith Van Kobbler would never let that happen!" Ty says that there's only one way to find out for sure - do some snooping. So it's off to the shoe store they go. And once they get there, Abby buys a pair of KVK1s, claiming that it's "research". Uh huh, sure. I'm sure that's also why she's cuddling a giant cardboard cutout of Keith Van Kobbler, too.

Honestly, I've seen people with more disturbing crushes on celebrities on the internet.

While Abby is fawning over the cardboard cutout, she mentions that they live in Keith Van Kobbler's hometown, and that he went to Ringworm Junior High like they do, which is why they're building a statue of Keith Van Kobbler. I do wonder if that will be an important plot point...

Before they can do any more snooping (or, in Abby's case, fawning over a cardboard cutout), Ty and Abby must head to class. On the way there, they discover that everyone in school has the foot fungus as well - and that includes Paige. And what were they all wearing beforehand? KVK1s! Abby insists it's just a coincidence, to which Ty says, "You'd better hope so - you tried those shoes on too!"

Back home, Abby tells their parents that she needs a pair of KVK1s... despite how obvious it is that they cause foot fungus. Something tells me Abby's a few sodas short of a six-pack. Question for anyone who's seen more episodes of the show - do Ty and Abby's parents know that they work for the B.O.G.? Or is this one of those "we have to keep it a secret because [REASONS]" kind of shows?

Also, why do so many cartoon dads wear sweater vests?

It's a good thing their parents won't buy Abby the shoes, because Lab Rat's done an analysis on a brand new pair of KVK1s bought by the B.O.G. for research purposes and it turns out they're just as fungus-filled as the used ones from the locker room. And just because you have the fungi on your feet doesn't necessarily mean you'll get Athlete's Foot - the conditions have to be juuuuuuuuuuuust right, just like the conditions of a foot inside a KVK1. "It's like they were MADE for the job!" Lab Rat claims. "These shoes are the cause of the funky feet!"

Ty suggests that they go to the shoe factory, which is completely automated, and look for clues. Here they find robotic arms attached to a conveyor belt dunking the soles of the shoes in some sort of swirling rose gold goop. When Ty scans the goop with his... handheld computer thing, he discovers that it's a mixture of the super-fungi they found in the shoes AND locker room. Abby declares that Keith Van Kobbler will freak out when he's informed of somebody sabotaging his shoes. I could chalk this up to her being naive, but I dunno, just because Keith's promoting the shoes doesn't necessarily mean he KNOWS that the company making them is using them to spread Athlete's Foot. Of course, I already know from the episode's Wikipedia description that he does, but I'm just trying to understand her perspective.

I love Ty's expression here.

Then they find an office that, judging from the basketball trophies and framed jersey on the wall, must be the office of Keith Van Kobbler. "Why would Van Kobbler have an office in the shoe factory if he's just a spokesperson?" Ty asks. And why are there photos of new basketball players on the rise, wearing KVK1s, on the wall with giant red "X"s on them? Basketball players who have recently gotten Athlete's Foot?

Oh, look, Keith Van Kobbler just slipped out from behind the cardboard cutout of himself he has in his office. Perhaps HE could shed some light on the situation.

Who on Earth keeps a cardboard cutout of themselves in their office anyway?

Abby promptly goes gaga over Keith, but Ty demands to know why he's intentionally giving anyone who buys his fancy new shoes foot fungi. "What? Why would VK do such a thing?" Keith asks. "If someone is spiking VK's shoes, VK will have to stop them. VK thinks that we should work together to solve this mystery before anyone else gets hurt. What do you say, kids?" But first, he suggests a game of one-on-one and tosses a basketball their way... a basketball that promptly explodes, tying up Ty and Abby like a girl from a cartoon show on DeviantArt.

Still think he's just an innocent pawn here, Abby?

Yep, Keith's evil. But Abby just assumes Keith thinks they're the ones who are sabotaging his shoes... okay, seriously, how stupid IS Abby? "VK's at the top of his game! And when all these ball players get laid up with Athlete's Foot, no one will ever be able to break VK's records!" Keith gloats. "So THAT'S what you're up to! You're eliminating the competition!" Ty exclaims. What's more, Keith says that the first shoes were a test, and that next he shall send his shoes to stores all over the world! And he's going to dunk Ty and Abby in the vat of "fungus broth". How despicable. I bet LeBron James would never do this to HIS fans...

There's a flaw in Keith's plan, though... won't the world eventually realize, like Ty and Abby did, that everyone who got the foot fungus just so happened to get them from wearing KVK1s? And then stop buying them?

Maybe Keith just thinks everyone else in the world is as dumb as Abby.

As they travel down the conveyor belt, Abby laments that someone she was a huge fan of turned out to be a jerk. I would compare this when I found out that Tom Kenny was an insensitive jerk, but A) I've learned that saying bad things about Tom Kenny is a great way to get hateful comments sent my way, and B) at least Tom never did anything as awful as intentionally giving people Athlete's Foot. Fortunately, Keith put KVK1s on Ty and Abby's feet before he left, and they manage to make the soles of their KVK1s inflate, causing them to clog up the machine they're about to go into and then explode, sending Ty and Abby flying to safety. On the downside, Abby now has Athlete's Foot.

I think even Mort from Madagascar would find this episode disgusting.

Keith is now at the school, preparing to give a big speech before the unveiling of his statue, when Ty and Abby show up and confront him over, y'know, the evil scheme. He fights them with a basketball that ricochets around the room as though it were made of Flubber, destroying whatever it touches - including Ty and Abby's slime-shooting guns. And also a Deluxe Edition of KVK1s that have rockets in them. How will they ever beat him? Well, Lab Rat did mention earlier that Keith doesn't play defense. So they start pelting him with whatever balls they can find. Volleyballs, tennis balls, footballs... and eventually Abby does a slam dunk and traps Keith in the net.

Looks like Keith Van Kobbler has been Keith Van Klobbered.

We cut to Ty and Abby at home, watching hockey on TV, when their parents enter the room and reveal that they got them... AVA1s, not KVK1s. They're kind of like KVK1s, but they're pink and presumably do not cause foot fungus. And that's about it.

Wait, what happened to Keith? Does the world find out that he intentionally gave everyone foot fungus to eliminate the competition? Are they still putting up a statue of him at the school? Are they still selling KVK1s in stores? No sort of explanation as to how the foot fungus problem got solved? Okay, then.

So what have we learned today? Well, I've learned a few things...

- Basketball players are evil.
- Being popular at school is worth getting foot fungus.
- You can intentionally give people Athlete's Foot and just get a slap on the wrist.
- Abby is dumb as a rock.
- Just because a show is gross doesn't automatically mean it's bad.

What's the Verdict?

I thought Grossology was okay. Alright animation, great performances from the voice actors, a couple of chuckle-worthy moments, likeable characters (aside from the ones we were meant to dislike), certainly better than something like Ned's Newt or Spliced. What's my main problem with it? Well, as you might have guessed, I don't like looking at peoples' fungus-infested feet. And since other episodes of the show focus on bad guys who weaponize farting, snot, vomiting, and pink-eye (among other things), I doubt I'll be seeking out any more episodes of the show. But like I said, it's fine for what it is, and I wouldn't suggest that anyone NOT watch it. Just be prepared to be disgusted, okay? I give it three stars out of five. If you'd like to watch Grossology yourself, you can find episodes on YouTube.

Oh, and on the off-chance you DID read this review while you were eating something... my apologies. But hey, you can't say I didn't warn you.