Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Grossology"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

Look, I'm just gonna be blunt here: I don't like gross-out humor. Snot, drool, barf, farting, that sort of thing... maybe I'm just an oversensitive ninny, but I've never found it funny. I just find it disgusting. With that in mind, this show having the word "Gross" in the name doesn't exactly fill me with confidence.

Okay, okay, what exactly IS Grossology? Well, you see, it started as a 1992 children's book written by Sylvia Branzei. The book's Amazon page dubs it a "guide to all things gross". The book spawned a couple sequels, some CD-ROMs, a traveling exhibition, and - of course - a TV show. The Grossology show, developed by Simon Racioppa and Richard Elliott for Nelvana, premiered on YTV in Canada on September 29th, 2006. In the United States, the show's first season aired on Discovery Kids, then the second season aired on Qubo. Fifty-two episodes were made.

I've never read the original Grossology books, but from my understanding the series has very little in common with them aside from the name and subject matter. It focuses on two teenage secret agents named Ty (voiced by Michael Cohen) and Abby Archer (voiced by Krystal Meadows), who work for the Department of Grossology, a secret government bureau that handles all the problems too disgusting for anyone else to want to get involved with. Usually these problems involved a supervillain who has something to do with a bodily function or something like that. Sounds repulsive, doesn't it?

But this isn't just a gross-out show, no, no... it's also EDUTAINMENT! According to TV Tropes, anyway. I assume this means the show teaches the kids watching at home about head lice and farting while Ty and Abby fought the villains weaponizing them.

I don't know how big of a fanbase this show has. I found some fanart on DeviantArt and a few posts praising the show on Tumblr, so there are SOME fans at least. As for me, I've never watched the show - like I said, I don't like gross things in my cartoons. But who knows? Maybe I've misjudged it. Maybe it's actually really good. We'll be watching the ninth episode of the show, "It's Gotta Be the Shoes", to find out.

SUGGESTION: Don't read this review while eating something. Probably not the best idea.

We start off with two basketball players in the locker room. One of them takes off his shoe, complaining about how much his feet hurt, and shows us his smelly sock. Okay, I guess that's not TOO disgusting...

I mean, the sweat stain's a little gross, but aside from that, I can stomach it.

Then he takes off his sock and DEAR LORD WHAT IS THAT?!

What is going on with his foot?! Does playing too much basketball turn your foot into a sea lamprey?! Particularly disgusting is how there is GREEN SLIME leaking out of it. Is there a scientific name for this? Is it Nickelodeon-itis?

After that bit of nausea-inducing imagery, and the theme song, we are treated to a commercial for basketball shoes called KVK1s. Instead of Michael Jordan, the ad stars basketball player Keith Van Kobbler. Oh, I get it. Van Kobbler. Sounds like "cobbler". And cobblers make shoes. At least when they don't have elves doing all the work.

Abby and Ty are watching the ad with two friends whose names I don't know at the mall. Ty isn't fooled by the commercial's claims that the shoes will automatically make you the new Shaquille O'Neal, saying, "If a scientist is the best, it's not because he has the coolest test tubes." But the two friends and Abby are completely suckered in.

Or maybe Abby just has the hots for Keith Van Kobbler. It's a little unclear.

We then see Abby at a basketball court, where she has to put up with the annoyingness of Paige, her snobbish popular girl rival - basically the Sharpay of Grossology. Her voice actress, Melissa Altro, also provided the voice of Muffy Crosswire from Arthur, ANOTHER character whose shtick was that she was an obnoxious snob more often than not. So it's kind of like Muffy in her teenage years.

Muffy... I mean, Paige has on a pair of KVK1s, and she's all too happy to rub it in Abby's face that she has them and Abby doesn't. Apparently, the contour fitting of the shoes gives your foot "a tight, foamy hug", each shoe has a spray that creates optimum humidity for maximum comfort, the insoles massage your feet, and there's even a stereo accessory that allows the shoes to play music.

That stereo looks more like an iPod to me (maybe it IS and Paige just said "stereo"
so Apple doesn't sue the showrunners).

AND the shoes have "super-bounce capability" - which means that the soles inflate. Ty still thinks it's ridiculous that everyone wears the shoes just because some pro athlete wears them, but Abby is totally getting suckered in (or at least tempted to buy the shoes just to make Paige shut up).

Just then, the two get a call from the head of the Bureau of Grossology, simply known as The Director (Paul OSullivan), who tells them that they have a situation at the basketball arena - a "festering fungus-filled" situation. "Cool!" Ty and Abby exclaim, clearly having a much better appreciation for disgusting things than I do. It's time to get suited up!

Yeah, Paige might have cool shoes, but does she save the world on a regular basis? I didn't
think so.

Somehow, ALL of the basketball players have wound up with what Abby dubs the nastiest case of Athlete's Foot in history. Hmmm, it looks like they were all wearing KVK1s before they got them. Juste une coincidence?

Ty takes a closer look at the KVK1s and discovers that they're all filled with fungus. Abby suggests that they take a sample to their friend Lab Rat for analysis. Lab Rat (Deven Mack) works as tech support for the Bureau of Grossology... which from now on I'm just going to call B.O.G. because it's a lot easier to type... and is basically the Wade to Ty and Abby's Kim Possible.

Apparently, this character's design was actually inspired by Deven Mack's appearance.
That's pretty neat.

Lab Rat explains what Athlete's Foot is. The fungus it creates chomps on old skin cells and then starts to multiply... and I don't mean it starts doing arithmetic. It causes dry skin, intense itching, inflammation, and blisters. Suddenly, I don't feel so bad about never being super-athletic anymore. "But why were so many different strains of fungi found in one shoe?" Lab Rat asks.

Ty thinks that the KVK1s have something to do with the Athlete's Foot, but Abby is all "No way, Keith Van Kobbler would never let that happen!" Ty says that there's only one way to find out for sure - do some snooping. So it's off to the shoe store they go. And once they get there, Abby buys a pair of KVK1s, claiming that it's "research". Uh huh, sure. I'm sure that's also why she's cuddling a giant cardboard cutout of Keith Van Kobbler, too.

Honestly, I've seen people with more disturbing crushes on celebrities on the internet.

While Abby is fawning over the cardboard cutout, she mentions that they live in Keith Van Kobbler's hometown, and that he went to Ringworm Junior High like they do, which is why they're building a statue of Keith Van Kobbler. I do wonder if that will be an important plot point...

Before they can do any more snooping (or, in Abby's case, fawning over a cardboard cutout), Ty and Abby must head to class. On the way there, they discover that everyone in school has the foot fungus as well - and that includes Paige. And what were they all wearing beforehand? KVK1s! Abby insists it's just a coincidence, to which Ty says, "You'd better hope so - you tried those shoes on too!"

Back home, Abby tells their parents that she needs a pair of KVK1s... despite how obvious it is that they cause foot fungus. Something tells me Abby's a few sodas short of a six-pack. Question for anyone who's seen more episodes of the show - do Ty and Abby's parents know that they work for the B.O.G.? Or is this one of those "we have to keep it a secret because [REASONS]" kind of shows?

Also, why do so many cartoon dads wear sweater vests?

It's a good thing their parents won't buy Abby the shoes, because Lab Rat's done an analysis on a brand new pair of KVK1s bought by the B.O.G. for research purposes and it turns out they're just as fungus-filled as the used ones from the locker room. And just because you have the fungi on your feet doesn't necessarily mean you'll get Athlete's Foot - the conditions have to be juuuuuuuuuuuust right, just like the conditions of a foot inside a KVK1. "It's like they were MADE for the job!" Lab Rat claims. "These shoes are the cause of the funky feet!"

Ty suggests that they go to the shoe factory, which is completely automated, and look for clues. Here they find robotic arms attached to a conveyor belt dunking the soles of the shoes in some sort of swirling rose gold goop. When Ty scans the goop with his... handheld computer thing, he discovers that it's a mixture of the super-fungi they found in the shoes AND locker room. Abby declares that Keith Van Kobbler will freak out when he's informed of somebody sabotaging his shoes. I could chalk this up to her being naive, but I dunno, just because Keith's promoting the shoes doesn't necessarily mean he KNOWS that the company making them is using them to spread Athlete's Foot. Of course, I already know from the episode's Wikipedia description that he does, but I'm just trying to understand her perspective.

I love Ty's expression here.

Then they find an office that, judging from the basketball trophies and framed jersey on the wall, must be the office of Keith Van Kobbler. "Why would Van Kobbler have an office in the shoe factory if he's just a spokesperson?" Ty asks. And why are there photos of new basketball players on the rise, wearing KVK1s, on the wall with giant red "X"s on them? Basketball players who have recently gotten Athlete's Foot?

Oh, look, Keith Van Kobbler just slipped out from behind the cardboard cutout of himself he has in his office. Perhaps HE could shed some light on the situation.

Who on Earth keeps a cardboard cutout of themselves in their office anyway?

Abby promptly goes gaga over Keith, but Ty demands to know why he's intentionally giving anyone who buys his fancy new shoes foot fungi. "What? Why would VK do such a thing?" Keith asks. "If someone is spiking VK's shoes, VK will have to stop them. VK thinks that we should work together to solve this mystery before anyone else gets hurt. What do you say, kids?" But first, he suggests a game of one-on-one and tosses a basketball their way... a basketball that promptly explodes, tying up Ty and Abby like a girl from a cartoon show on DeviantArt.

Still think he's just an innocent pawn here, Abby?

Yep, Keith's evil. But Abby just assumes Keith thinks they're the ones who are sabotaging his shoes... okay, seriously, how stupid IS Abby? "VK's at the top of his game! And when all these ball players get laid up with Athlete's Foot, no one will ever be able to break VK's records!" Keith gloats. "So THAT'S what you're up to! You're eliminating the competition!" Ty exclaims. What's more, Keith says that the first shoes were a test, and that next he shall send his shoes to stores all over the world! And he's going to dunk Ty and Abby in the vat of "fungus broth". How despicable. I bet LeBron James would never do this to HIS fans...

There's a flaw in Keith's plan, though... won't the world eventually realize, like Ty and Abby did, that everyone who got the foot fungus just so happened to get them from wearing KVK1s? And then stop buying them?

Maybe Keith just thinks everyone else in the world is as dumb as Abby.

As they travel down the conveyor belt, Abby laments that someone she was a huge fan of turned out to be a jerk. I would compare this when I found out that Tom Kenny was an insensitive jerk, but A) I've learned that saying bad things about Tom Kenny is a great way to get hateful comments sent my way, and B) at least Tom never did anything as awful as intentionally giving people Athlete's Foot. Fortunately, Keith put KVK1s on Ty and Abby's feet before he left, and they manage to make the soles of their KVK1s inflate, causing them to clog up the machine they're about to go into and then explode, sending Ty and Abby flying to safety. On the downside, Abby now has Athlete's Foot.

I think even Mort from Madagascar would find this episode disgusting.

Keith is now at the school, preparing to give a big speech before the unveiling of his statue, when Ty and Abby show up and confront him over, y'know, the evil scheme. He fights them with a basketball that ricochets around the room as though it were made of Flubber, destroying whatever it touches - including Ty and Abby's slime-shooting guns. And also a Deluxe Edition of KVK1s that have rockets in them. How will they ever beat him? Well, Lab Rat did mention earlier that Keith doesn't play defense. So they start pelting him with whatever balls they can find. Volleyballs, tennis balls, footballs... and eventually Abby does a slam dunk and traps Keith in the net.

Looks like Keith Van Kobbler has been Keith Van Klobbered.

We cut to Ty and Abby at home, watching hockey on TV, when their parents enter the room and reveal that they got them... AVA1s, not KVK1s. They're kind of like KVK1s, but they're pink and presumably do not cause foot fungus. And that's about it.

Wait, what happened to Keith? Does the world find out that he intentionally gave everyone foot fungus to eliminate the competition? Are they still putting up a statue of him at the school? Are they still selling KVK1s in stores? No sort of explanation as to how the foot fungus problem got solved? Okay, then.

So what have we learned today? Well, I've learned a few things...

- Basketball players are evil.
- Being popular at school is worth getting foot fungus.
- You can intentionally give people Athlete's Foot and just get a slap on the wrist.
- Abby is dumb as a rock.
- Just because a show is gross doesn't automatically mean it's bad.

What's the Verdict?

I thought Grossology was okay. Alright animation, great performances from the voice actors, a couple of chuckle-worthy moments, likeable characters (aside from the ones we were meant to dislike), certainly better than something like Ned's Newt or Spliced. What's my main problem with it? Well, as you might have guessed, I don't like looking at peoples' fungus-infested feet. And since other episodes of the show focus on bad guys who weaponize farting, snot, vomiting, and pink-eye (among other things), I doubt I'll be seeking out any more episodes of the show. But like I said, it's fine for what it is, and I wouldn't suggest that anyone NOT watch it. Just be prepared to be disgusted, okay? I give it three stars out of five. If you'd like to watch Grossology yourself, you can find episodes on YouTube.

Oh, and on the off-chance you DID read this review while you were eating something... my apologies. But hey, you can't say I didn't warn you.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Tutenstein"

This show stars a mummy, so it qualifies as a Halloween review.

If you watched Discovery Kids in the 2000s like I did, there's a very good chance that you at least saw a promo for Tutenstein. Produced by Porchlight Entertainment, this cartoon premiered on Discovery Kids on November 1st, 2003 and received three seasons, plus a movie called Clash of the Pharaohs. I was pretty surprised to find out that it was based on a comic book... a comic book that, incidentally, was created by Jay Stephens, who would go on to create The Secret Saturdays for Cartoon Network (note to self: review The Secret Saturdays at some point).

Tutenstein is about a ten-year-old mummified pharaoh named Tutankhensetamun (voiced by Jeannie Elias, except for a few episodes of Season 3 where Donna Cherry did it), awoken from his slumber by a twelve-year-old aspiring Egyptologist named Cleo (Crystal Scales) and her cat, Luxor (Daran Norris). He lives in a museum, desperately trying to get the hang of the modern world. Also, there's an evil god named Set, the god of disorder and violence, who wants to get his hands on Tutenstein's scepter so he can - you guessed it - take over the world.

The show received positive reviews from critics and won two Emmys for "Outstanding Special Class Animated Program". You can currently find episodes on YouTube. It's been on my "to review" list for quite some time, and since Halloween is just around the corner, I figured, why put it off any longer? We're gonna watch the eighth episode of the show, "The King of Memphis", and see if Tutenstein is a good show or something that should be, like a mummy, kept under wraps. Sorry, couldn't resist...

"The King of Memphis" starts off with Cleo arriving home, excited that she has a three-day weekend. I can confirm that there are very few things more satisfying than getting home from school the day before a three-day weekend. A minute or so after she gets home, the doorbell rings, and guess who's at the door? Hint: their name is the title of the show.

Yep, it's Tutenstein... and to be honest, I'm a little amused by the thought of him walking around in broad daylight to Cleo's house, oblivious to everyone giving him confused or terrified looks. I mean, if you lived in... wherever this show takes place and you saw a mummy walking around, how would YOU react?

Maybe they all just assumed he was on his way to a costume party?

Cleo hears her mom approaching and hides Tutenstein in a closet. When Cleo's mom comes down the stairs, she tells her that they're going to Memphis, Tennessee. For those unaware, Memphis is considered the birthplace of rock 'n' roll, and the home of Graceland, where Elvis Presley set up shop - and it's named after a city in Egypt, so I wonder if Tutenstein will be confused and think THAT'S where they're going.

Eventually, Cleo's mom hears Tutenstein making noise in the closet and opens it up. Her reaction to seeing a mummy in her closet is, oddly enough, less "AAAAAAAAAAAH! A MUMMY!" and more just confusion. Cleo claims that he's just a friend from her school's drama class, and then Tutenstein says that he shall be joining them on their journey to Memphis.

I've heard of having skeletons in your closet, but this is ridiculous.

Cleo's mom is cool with letting Tutenstein tag along on their trip, and then Cleo explains to Tutenstein that they're not going to Memphis, Egypt but rather Memphis, Tennessee. This doesn't bother Tutenstein at all. But wait, Cleo's mom did say that they needed Tutenstein's parents' permission for him to come along. How will they pull THAT off? Easy - the talking cat will call her up pretending to be Tutenstein's dad. I wonder if Luxor is ever tempted to reveal to Cleo's mom that he can talk. He'd probably never have to worry about her having him neutered if he did...

He's basically the show's equivalent of Salem from Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
With the voice of Cosmo from The Fairly OddParents.

Once they get to Memphis, their first stop is Kingland, an amusement park all about Elvis. And no, I looked it up, there is no actual Elvis amusement park in Tennessee. It's a cartoon, they have artistic license.

If Uncle Jesse from Full House were to build an amusement park, this is
totally what he would build.

And how exactly does Tutenstein get around the whole "people are going to freak out if they see a mummy walking around" thing when they're at Kingland? He puts on sunglasses. Apparently that's enough to hide the fact that he's a mummy. Okay then...

Cleo's mom tells them that they'll meet up in front of the Blue Suede Shoes store at 6:00. Wait, she's just gonna let her kid, her cat, and her kid's "friend from drama class" walk around the crowded amusement park on her own? Yeah, Cleo's got her cell phone, but that doesn't seem like great parenting to me. When my family goes to an amusement park, we always stick together. Unless my sister wants to go on some scary-looking roller coaster, in which case I wait outside.

Eventually, Tutenstein notices that there's a whole lot of Elvis around Kingland - Elvis impersonators, people wearing Elvis t-shirts, kids holding Elvis dolls, Elvis statues, even the janitor is wearing an Elvis costume. I've never been to Graceland, is this what it looks like?

That custodian is probably thinking about how much he hates his job.

"Where are all the statues of ME?" Tutenstein complains. Perhaps a better question is, why does nobody notice the presence of a MUMMY? This cartoon takes place before everyone became glued to their phones and were too busy checking their Instagram to pay attention to the world around them, surely SOMEBODY would see the kid with green skin wrapped in bandages. No way the sunglasses are enough to hide his appearance. If you brought a lion into, say, Washington DC and put a Nationals hat on his head, people would still notice that he's a lion!

Tutenstein is getting his bandages in a twist over all the statues of this other guy referred to as "the King" instead of him. "I will show him who is the ruler of all!" he declares before dashing off to pick fights with Elvis impersonators (one of whom sounds like Pat Buttram, interestingly enough). And I think it's just a rule here that everyone who works at the park needs to be dressed like Elvis, because even the security guard is an Elvis impersonator.

Here's a joke for you: how many Elvises does it take to outwit a mummy? Answer:
one. Everybody knows that mummies love rock 'n' roll music... but their absolute favorite
genre of music is WRAP. Thank you, I'll be here all week!

Tutenstein assumes that this "King" has some powerful magic that allows him to duplicate himself. Well, two can play at THAT game. He takes out his staff and two coins, then chants a magic spell calling upon the two spirits of his soul to step out of his body and take his form in the "here and now". In other words, we now have THREE Tutensteins for the price of ONE.

"Is my head really that big?"

Tutenstein 1 tells the other two Tutensteins to seek out all the Elvises and force them to renounce their claims to his throne. Tutenstein 2 is nice, Tutenstein 3 is evil. So when Tutenstein 2 gives a kid an ice cream cone, Tutenstein 3 swipes it and eats it himself. And when Tutenstein 2 helps a lady carry her bag full of merchandise, Tutenstein 3 dumps it in a trash can.

Eventually, Luxor manages to catch up with Tutenstein 3 on a roller coaster - which is inconvenient for him, since he's a literal scaredy-cat.

I imagine Luxor didn't see the "You Must Be This Tall To Ride" sign.

Oh, and Tutenstein 3's head falls off, right into Cleo's hands. Speaking of Cleo, I just realized something... is Cleo's name supposed to be a reference to Cleopatra? Y'know, the EGYPTIAN queen? If so, very clever...

Put that thing down, Cleo. You don't know where it's been.

After Tutenstein 3 gets his head back on, ticks off Cleo, and wanders off, Tutenstein 2 shows up. And then Luxor runs into Tutenstein 3 again. Tutenstein 1 shows up to explain the situation - if Elvis can multiply himself, so can he.

[Insert reference to that meme with the three Spider-Mans pointing at each other here]

Cleo tells Tutenstein that according to ancient writings, the parts of the soul - the "Ba" and "Ka" - can never be separated from the body for too long. Why? Because unless they're reunited by sundown, Tutenstein will die... again. But wouldn't you know it, the three Tutensteins wander off before they can hear that part. And it's already starting to get dark! Cue the dramatic music.

One Tutenstein winds up at a peanut butter and banana sandwich-eating contest, another is spraying water at people, and the other is trying to stop Tutenstein 3 from ruininng everyone's fun. Some poor kid gets a look at Tutenstein 2's unwrapped arm... and yes, I'm including a screencap. If I had to look at it, so do you. Sorry.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeugh...

Cleo and Luxor find Tutenstein 1 after he wins the contest (there are benefits to having an empty body cavity), allowing Cleo to tell him that he needs to reunite with the other two Tutensteins or else it's bye-bye Tutenstein. Tutenstein laments that he's a fool, but then Cleo and Luxor give him a pep talk and he decides that he WILL find the other two Tutensteins before sundown no matter how impossible it seems. Unfortunately, Tutenstein 3 (the evil one) will not go gentle into that cold night, and he's dragging Tutenstein 2 (the nice one) along with him. Eventually, all three wind up back on the roller coater, which they fall off, landing in a Gravitron just as the sun is going down. Out stumbles one, very dizzy, Tutenstein. Huzzah.

I believe this is the same expression I had after going on a Chairswing ride at
King's Dominion.

Today, Tutenstein has learned not to act hasty. And also not to eat a hundred peanut butter and banana sandwiches before going on a Gravitron. Now I'm curious, are mummies capable of vomiting?

What's the Verdict?

I'm not sure why I never watched Tutenstein when it was on, but now that I actually HAVE watched it, I personally found it pretty good. You'd think the fact that the episode takes place in a modern day theme park based on Elvis' existence means that they wouldn't be able to do much with the "Egyptian mummy in modern times" thing, but they do! I liked the characters... or at least Tutenstein and Luxor, Cleo's not super-interesting but for the straight man she works fine. Most of the jokes work, the animation is good, and the voice actors all do a good job. I think the show's being on Discovery Kids, which as I said before in my review of The Save-Ums! was never as popular as Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon, is the main reason for its obscurity nowadays. Ah well, by doing a review of the show, I'm doing MY part to make it a little more well-known.

A reboot of Tutenstein was also announced recently. We'll see if that helps to boost awareness of the original show. But for now, I'm giving it four Elvis Presley impersonators out of five. That's a wrap!

Get it? Wrap? 'Cause it's a show about a... look, I'm trying really hard here.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "The Save-Ums"

I was gonna do a review of Chop Socky Chooks this week, but then I decided to look up one of the companies that produced the show, Decode Entertainment. To my surprise, one of the other shows that they had a hand in was a little something called The Save-Ums, which I remember watching a lot when I was younger. So I'm going to review The Save-Ums instead. Don't worry, all three of you Chop Socky Chooks fans out there - we'll look at the show another time.

Now, before I talk about The Save-Ums, I should probably talk about the channel that it aired on here in the United States, Discovery Kids.

Discovery Kids was launched in October 1996 as part of four new Discovery cable channels (it also had a Saturday morning block on NBC starting in 2001). The channel aired a mix of live action "tweencoms" and cartoons like Tutenstein, but I always watched more of the show's "Ready, Set, Learn" preschoolers' block myself - along with Playhouse Disney, PBS Kids, and Boomerang, THIS was mainly what I watched when I was a toddler. Most of the shows that aired as part of this block, including The Save-Ums, are pretty obscure today, but I might unlock a few core memories in my readers' heads by mentioning them: ToddWorld? Hi-5? Peep and the Big Wide World? Animal Jam? Any of these a-ringing a bell? Surely you're familiar with the character who was for all intents and purposes the block's mascot, Paz the Penguin?

I'm not the only one who had a Paz plush, right?

Alas, in 2010 Discovery Kids became The Hub - which later on became Discovery Family. And so Paz, the Save-Ums, Peep, and the characters from ToddWorld wound up kicked to the curb, replaced by shows created to sell Hasbro toys. Fortunately, you can find episodes of The Save-Ums on YouTube for those of you like me who'd like to engage in some nostalgia.

So, what exactly IS The Save-Ums? Well, the premise is that a group of strange creature children known as the Save-Ums head out to help somebody, usually an animal, out with their problem. Sometimes they travel to a mountain-topped island called Rock World, sometimes they travel to another island with a volcano on it called Lava World, and sometimes they travel to the underwater location known as Wave World. No problem is too big or too small for the Save-Ums, who consist of...

- Jazzi, with her purple skin and pigtails
- Foo, who appears to be what happens when a penguin and a fish have a baby
- Noodle, presumably called that because he is (or at least looks like) a giant noodle
- Ka-Chung, a bombastic hippopotamus-esque fella
- Custard, who kind of looks like Chowder
- And the smallest and youngest of the Save-Ums, Jazzi's little brother B.B. Jammies

The show was created by Dan Clark, Don Asher, and Dave Pressler (who went on to create Robot and Monster for Nickelodeon) and premiered as part of the "Ready, Set, Learn" block on February 24th, 2003. It received two seasons, making for a total of thirty-nine episodes, each consisting of two segments. We'll be watching the fifth episode of the show, which consists of the segments "Save That Little Tree!" and "A Rock in Winston's Garden!", today because I want to see if the show holds up. This is The Save-Ums.

"Save That Little Tree!" starts off in the Save-Ums' home base (apparently the Save-Ums had the same contractor who built Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse), where Custard is teaching B.B. Jammies and these little fuzzy creatures called the Puffs how to do yoga. We hear the bones of one Puff crack, which A) is pretty disturbing and B) is also pretty surprising seeing as I didn't think the Puffs had bones. I have so many questions about Puff anatomy.

Think of them as being the Tribbles of The Save-Ums.

Actually, the Puffs are surprisingly good at yoga for creatures that don't have limbs. But their little yoga session is interrupted by the Save-Um Screen going off, prompting Jazzi to pop in and see what's going on. We also get a look at the planet that the Save-Ums call home - either Earth or a very, very similar planet that just so happens to have anthropomorphic noodles and fish/penguin hybrid babies living on it. I've seen the Save-Ums called aliens online, but I'm not sure if it's ever specified just WHAT, exactly, they are. I also don't recall it ever being specified where their parents were, either.

Did you know that you can see the Great Pyramids of Giza from space? Hey, if I can't be
funny, I think I should at least try to be educational...

Did you know that you can see the Great Pyramids of Giza from space? Hey, if I can't be funny, I think I should at least try to be educational...

As the Save-Ums gather around the screen, it's revealed that the call is coming from Lava World - specifically, from these two glum-looking monkeys. Maybe they're blue because they can't find their noses.

It must stink to be a monkey without a nose. You wouldn't be able to smell the bananas
you eat.

These two are Oscar and Tina, and they're worried because their friend Sally is in big trouble. Who is Sally? Not another monkey, but a tree. Not a sentient tree, just a regular tree. Presumably, there aren't many other residents in Lava World - which makes sense, because who wants to live on an island with a volcano on it? - so Oscar and Tina have decided to befriend a tree. The problem? The volcano is erupting, and the lava is headed right for Sally!

The Save-Ums don't seem to be too worried about this. Instead, Noodle cheerfully explains to the other Save-Ums - and the audience - what lava is. I mean, to be fair, it's a TREE, but if the monkeys are distressed by this, it's pretty insensitive of you guys not to show any concern. "Everyone in Lava World knows to stay away from the Hot Lava when the volcano is erupting!" Oscar claims. "But Sally is just a plant!" "She can't think for herself, or get out of the way, or ANYTHING! She's stuck in the ground!" Tina adds. Ah, so they DO know that Sally isn't sentient? I wasn't sure...

I bet Ka-Chung goes through a lot of ChapStick.

"Tell Sally we're on our way!" Noodle declares - and by "we're", he means himself, Ka-Chung, and Foo. For some reason, only two or three of the Save-Ums go on the mission in each episode. Wouldn't it make more sense if they ALL went? After all, if two heads are better than one, surely SIX heads (or five, since B.B. Jammies is just a baby) is better than THREE. What, does Custard have a dental appointment or something? Ah well, I'm glad Noodle is coming along - I think he was my favorite Save-Um. Probably stems from the fact that I love pasta...

Noodle suggests that they take the "Sub-Chopper", which can fly through the air and get them to Lava World quickly. Ka-Chung then says that his "Ka-Drill" could come in handy too, to which Noodle says that they can use the Sub-Chopper's robo-fingers to carry the Ka-Drill to Lava World. And so, with a shout of the team's catchphrase "Small is powerful!"...

"Beam us up, Scotty!"

The three Save-Ums going on the mission are on their way, with Noodle and Ka-Chung traveling in the Sub-Chopper and Foo using a jetpack. I love how when they get to Lava World, Ka-Chung says, "That volcano really IS erupting!" Well, obviously. Did he think that maybe the monkeys made up the "volcano erupting" thing just for the heck of it?

Yeah, the CGI in this show hasn't aged particularly well...

"We need to move that tree out of danger and replant her someplace safe!" Noodle tells the monkeys. Fortunately, Oscar knows of a great place near the beach where they can replant Sally. "Kaaaaaaaaaa-CHUNG!" Ka-Chung explains, because he couldn't think of a better catchphrase than just shouting his name whenever he's excited. "I can use my Ka-Drill to dig a comfy hole to plant her in!" And Noodle can use the Sub-Chopper to fly her down to them. But wait - how are they going to get Sally out of the ground? They'd have to somehow uproot her. Fortunately, Foo gets an idea after seeing some coconut shells on the ground nearby... she can just dig the tree out of the ground with the shells. Y'know, because apparently nobody thought to bring a shovel.

I bet Sally's not exactly DIGGING the situation she's in right now. Get it? DIGGING?
Ha ha ha ha ha... I amuse myself.

The lava is getting closer, so it's a good thing that Foo, Oscar and Tina are just about done digging. Now Noodle can use the Sub-Chopper's robo-fingers to lift Sally out of harm's way. Two questions about the Sub-Chopper: one, why is it called that? The prefix "Sub" means "underneath", so does the Sub-Chopper have the ability to go underneath things as well as over them? Did they ever show this in an episode? And two, where can I get one?

"Let me give you a HAND! Get it? HAND?



Hey, if the writer of this blog post can make bad puns, I don't see why I can't."

Noodle lifts the tree out of the lava's path, then Ka-Chung uses the Ka-Drill to dig a new hole. Zhe day, it is, how you say, saved! And it only took, like, three minutes!

Staring at Noodle makes me hungry for pasta. I still can't tell if he actually IS a walking,
talking noodle or if he just LOOKS LIKE one...

Now that Sally is safe and sound, the Save-Ums bid the monkeys farewell and head back to their headquarters. Foo tells Custard and Jazzi that they learned a valuable lesson about plants and how they need love... which doesn't really have anything to do with what happened. The problem wasn't that Sally wasn't getting enough love, it was that a VOLCANO WAS ERUPTING AND THE LAVA WAS FLOWING TOWARDS HER. So if anything, the moral is "don't plant a tree near a volcano, idiot". Who planted Sally anyway?

We end with the Save-Ums all doing more yoga. On to "A Rock in Winston's Garden!"!

Foo takes some pictures of herself and the Puffs (this was before the days of cell phones with cameras in 'em, so no, the pictures that Foo takes do not qualify as "selfies"), then the Save-Um Screen starts going off. Who's calling them this time? Somebody from Wave World - their pal Winston the blue whale!

Y'know what always bothered me about Winston? Why the heck does he have EARS? HUMAN ears? It's just so OFF-PUTTING. Is he a mutant? Does he live in one of those parts of the ocean where people test atomic bombs?

And where on Earth does a blue whale find a pair of pants big enough for them to fit in?

Winston demonstrates that he is a Woody Allen parody by fretting to the Save-Ums about how it's time for his "Silly Sea Sammies" - which are a kind of underwater flower that suddenly pop up out of the sand and giggle - to bloom. The problem? A big rock fell on top of his Silly Sea Sammies, so when the flowers bloom they'll hit their little flower heads.

I hope this episode features an appearance from that baby dinosaur who looks like a giant
Larry the Cucumber. Save-Ums fans, you know who I'm talking about.

Noodle suggests that they take the Sub-Chopper, which in addition to flying through the air can also travel under the sea (so THAT'S why it's called a "SUB-Chopper"). In addition to Noodle, Jazzi and Foo - fitting, seeing as she looks like a fish - are coming along as well.

How many Save-Ums does it take to remove a rock from a whale's garden? I don't know,
ask the chicken who crossed the road.

Off the three of them go, Noodle and Jazzi in the Sub-Chopper and Foo in her jetpack. When they arrive at Wave World, Winston leads them to his garden - and the rock that's taking up residence in it.

"It's not just a boulder! It's a rock! It's a big, beautiful old rock! Oh, the pioneers used to
ride these babies for miles! And it's in great shape!"

The Save-Ums better hurry, because the Silly Sea Sammies are getting ready to bloom any minute now. Noodle says he can use the robo-fingers to push the rock off the flowers. Unfortunately, it doesn't work - methinks Noodle isn't very strong. He's high in fiber and carbohydrates, but he's pretty weak. And to make matters worse, everyone can hear the giggling of the Silly Sea Sammies from under the rock.

...actually, now that I think about it, has WINSTON tried to lift the rock? He's a blue whale. Blue whales have strong muscles.

Odd that Jazzi has pigtails but otherwise no other hair on her head.

Jazzi gets an idea - if the rock is too big for them to move, they'll just have to smash it into smaller pieces. So Foo opens up the Sub-Chopper's tool box and, sure enough, there happens to be something in it that could help them - a sledgehammer!

"I wanna be... your sledgehammer... why don't you call my name?"

Foo isn't sure that she's strong enough to smash the rock since she's so small - and judging from the fact that she's having difficulty lifting the sledgehammer, I'd say her fears are justified. "Remember, Foo - small is powerful!" Noodle claims, giving Foo the strength of ten Save-Ums plus two. She hits the rock with the hammer, and sure enough, cracks start to form and the rock falls apart into smaller pieces. Now they can just lift up the pieces and move them so the Silly Sea Sammies can do their thing.

So flowers are sentient in this world, but trees aren't?

Winston thanks the Save-Ums for their help - the giggling of the Silly Sea Sammies is music to his weird human ears (yes, I'm still harping on that). It's back to Save-Um headquarters, where Foo puts the photos she took earlier in her album.

What's the Verdict?

So, that's The Save-Ums. And yeah, it's obviously aimed for little kids, the ones who are more into stuff like Paw Patrol and Dora the Explorer than, say, Gravity Falls. But it manages to avoid falling into the same trap as something like Cave Kids by not being too sappy and cutesy-wootsy. The Save-Ums all have really appealing designs... with the possible exception of B.B. Jammies. He's a bit off-putting (probably because he's the only one with pupils). Maybe they're not the most complex characters, but they're likeable and the child voice actors all do a good job. And it manages to get you genuinely invested in the problems that the characters have to solve without making them too scary for kids. I'm not sure if I would recommend it to anyone over the age of five (unless you watched it when you were little and want to engage in some nostalgia), but it's a great cartoon for you to show your kids.

I'll probably tackle the other Discovery Kids cartoons another time. It was never as iconic a channel as Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network, so pretty much anything animated that aired on the channel is pretty obscure nowadays. Oh, yeah - and remember the Discovery Channel STORES? Remember those?

I remember they had one in Baltimore at some point in the 2000s. Good times...