Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Cave Kids"

Let's talk about The Flintstones.

The Flintstones was at one point one of the most popular shows on television. Show after show, movie after movie, television special after television special has been released over the years... and then, at some point in the 2000s, the franchise basically went into hibernation. Every so often you'd see Fred and Barney pop up in a commercial, but Warner Brothers wasn't really doing anything with the characters. It wasn't until 2015's The Flintstones and WWE: Stone Age Smackdown! that we finally got something new with the characters (and even then we didn't get anything new with the characters after that until that Yabba-Dabba-Dinosaurs show, which wound up getting cancelled before it could even air).

What happened? I think it mainly stems from the fact that Warner Brothers just doesn't care about any of Hanna-Barbera's franchises that aren't Scooby-Doo. I mean, it took them decades to do anything new with Yogi Bear, and then another decade for them to do something ELSE new with Yogi Bear that wasn't a one-off commercial (and the less said about Jellystone!, the better). But still, for such a popular franchise for at least three decades, you'd think they would've tried their hand at a new Flintstones show in the 2000s at SOME point. What, did the bombing at the box office of The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas convince them that people didn't like Fred and Barney anymore? Or should the blame be placed on Cave Kids?

What, exactly, is Cave Kids? Well, this was a cartoon focusing entirely on Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm as they went on adventures that seemed to take place mainly inside their imaginations. I guess Hanna-Barbera saw how successful Rugrats was and said, "We should cash-in on the success of this!" because it's basically just that. A prehistoric Rugrats. The show premiered on Cartoon Network in 1996 as part of its educational programming block... then only eight episodes were made before Hanna-Barbera pulled the plug on the show so they could focus more on What a Cartoon!.

Is the show any good? Well, today we'll be watching the episode "Kiss and Spell". Let's see if there's anything of substance.

The episode begins with Pebbles (Aria Noelle Curzon) being sad because she can't find her doll Gretel. Bamm-Bamm (Christine Cavanaugh), who happens to be crawling by, says that he'll help her find the doll... and by that I mean just sit there whacking his club. Yeah, I can see that Bamm-Bamm is going to be a great help.

So, Barney and Betty are just letting their baby crawl around outside unattended?
Great parenting, guys!

Some leaves fall off the nearby trees, which I guess acts as a transition into some sort of imaginary world where Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm can actually speak full sentences and walk on two legs as opposed to just crawling everywhere. There are also weirdly-colored trees with faces.

Did we enter a Care Bears cartoon or something?

"Gretel said she had to go home. Somebody was in trouble," Pebbles explains. "This spooky forest is home?" asks Bamm-Bamm. Pebbles' mindset is that when you name a doll after a character in a fairy tale, the fairy tale MUST be the doll's home. Makes sense to me. Bamm-Bamm is afraid to go into the forest because he's apparently the Chuckie Finster of the show (must stem from the fact that he's voiced by the same person). Then the trees with faces start talking to them. One of them sounds like Ed Wynn.

Boy, this review has been pretty boring so far, hasn't it?

"Haven't you ever been in an Enchanted Woods before?" the Ed Wynn-voiced tree asks Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm.

"Are you hinting my apples aren't what they ought to be?"

Predictably, the trees are no help at all. Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm walk off, and Bamm-Bamm finds a piece of ribbon that Pebbles identifies as Gretel's. They wind up running into Little Red Riding Hood (Valery Pappas).

And boy has she let herself go.

Little Red Riding Hood has apparently been lost in the woods (no Frozen 2 jokes, please) trying to find her grandmother's house for quite some time now. Eventually Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm realize that they're lost too. And as if things weren't stressful enough for them, Little Red Riding Hood mentions that there's a Wicked Witch around. A Wicked Witch that lives in a gingerbread house.

So... first a doll named Gretel, now a Wicked Witch who lives in a gingerbread house. I think it's pretty obvious where this is going, isn't it?

Little Red Riding Hood walks off, telling Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm not to "take any wooden bread crumbs". Whatever THAT means. Then Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm come across a frog.

Why does the frog have hair?

The frog (Dee Bradley Baker) grosses the cave kids out by eating a fly, then quips, "If your stomachs are THAT weak, you'd better stay away from mirrors." This is the closest that the episode comes to being funny.

Let's see... what other fairy tale characters can Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm run into? I know, how about Robin Hood?

I wish. No, instead we get this guy...

Quite possibly the lamest Robin Hood since Daffy.

Robin Hood (Dee Bradley Baker) admits that he hasn't really been himself since he left Sherwood Forest. And apparently Little Red Riding Hood is his sister. "Hood's not such a common name, you know," he points out. Tell me, are they also related to football player Elijah Hood? Or 5 Seconds of Summer member Calum Hood? How about DC Comics character Red Hood?

Yes, I just looked up "people with the surname 'Hood'" for the sake of this joke.

Anyhow, Robin Hood heads off to find his sister, and soon night falls on the Enchanted Woods.

Tell me, if you showed somebody this screencap without telling them where it's from,
do you think that they would ever guess that it's a Flintstones production?

Eventually, a Prehistoric Raggedy Ann arrives, who Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm recognize as Gretel. She's voiced by Elizabeth Daily.

Huzzah, they found Gretel! Does that mean the episode's over?

Before they can go home, Gretel needs to find her brother Hansel, who was apparently turned into a frog by the aforementioned witch. Oh, so THAT'S why the frog from before had hair - it was Hansel the whole time!

"Why didn't he tell us who he was?" Pebbles asks. "Well, he doesn't KNOW he's Hansel," Gretel explains. "That's part of the witch's spell." So off they head to find the frog who is in fact really Hansel. Eventually, they arrive at a gingerbread house. Y'know, just like the one that Little Red Riding Hood mentioned that the witch lives in. Dun-dun-dun.

I think living in a house made of sweets would be incredibly inconvenient. How would you
resist the urge to devour it?

Pebbles isn't sure that this would be the right place to find a frog, but Bamm-Bamm points out that a house made of food sitting out in the open should probably attract a lot of flies. Then this woman comes out of the house.

She looks like the Jellystone! version of Squiddly Diddly.

Oy, I just mentioned the Jellystone! version of Squiddly Diddly. Thanks a lot, cartoon.

Yes, this ugly-looking thing is the witch (Valery Pappas). I gotta admit, I was kind of expecting a green-skinned old hag dressed in black. However, I should mention that the character designers have seemingly forgotten about Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm's living in prehistoric times. Shouldn't the witch be a cave person with a pet pterodactyl or something? Not some rejected My Little Pony villain?

The witch says that she shall turn them into frogs, but Pebbles ain't having none of that and demands that she tell them how to turn Hansel back. The witch for whatever reason decides to tell them. Great idea, lady; surely that won't lead to them turning Hansel back to normal and then finding some way to defeat you! According to the witch, all Hansel needs is a kiss from someone who loves him. They don't even have to be a princess.

Then the witch sprays the three with some gas that makes them fall asleep, and when they wake up they're inside the witch's house in a birdcage. "This does not make me happy!" Bamm-Bamm complains. Yes, I imagine that being stuck in a cage in the house of a witch who wants to turn you into Kermit's third-cousin would indeed not make one happy. Could be worse though... I think in the original fairy tale the witch wanted to cook the kids in the oven.

"Hey, this is just like in that one fairy tale... I  think it was called The Three Little Pigs."

"Soon you'll all be joining your little friend over there!" the witch cackles, pointing over at the frog from before, who's sitting on the windowsill. How convenient that he showed up at the house for whatever reason. Maybe he just had a craving for gingerbread?

The witch heads off to fetch another ingredient for the potion, allowing Pebbles, Bamm-Bamm, and Gretel to think of a plan to get Hansel back to normal and get out of that cage. Pebbles gets an idea - she pulls a wad of bubble gum off a nearby couch and advises Gretel to chew it until it's nice and soft. "She either has a plan or she's gone bonkers! Hard to tell sometimes," Bamm-Bamm admits. Okay, I will admit that was kind of funny.

Once the gum is nice and soft, Pebbles sticks it on Gretel's nose and they put a fly on it to lure Hansel over. It works, and a kiss from Gretel turns the frog back into a Prehistoric Raggedy Andy. Though he's still looking a little green around the gills...

Personally, I'm far more curious as to what Fred and Barney are doing right now
than what Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm are up to.

Hansel opens the cage, allowing Gretel, Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm to escape. Alas, the Witch is back and she's got a bug-sprayer filled with a potion that'll turn 'em into frogs. But before she can, there's suddenly an earthquake - the result of Little Red Riding Hood munching on her house. Then Robin Hood shows up again too. Using the gum and a bow and arrow, Bamm-Bamm clogs the bug-sprayer, causing it to explode and turning the witch into a frog herself.

Karma!

Now, how will they all get out of the Enchanted Woods? Easy - Robin Hood threatens the talking trees into telling them the way out, and we transition back into the real world. Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm play with Hansel and Gretel, who are actually just normal dolls (obviously) and... then we get a music video with Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm singing (Elizabeth Daily provides Bamm-Bamm's singing voice, by the way) accompanied by clips from the episode. The song isn't too bad, but... what exactly is the point?

What's the Verdict?

I can sum up Cave Kids in just three words: yabba-dabba-dull. I don't want to sound mean, but there was nothing of substance here. There is no reason for this to star Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm, you could stick any two generic baby characters in their roles and it'd basically be the exact same show. The showrunners seem to have forgotten that Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm live in preshistoric times, so instead of actually seeing what it would be like to be a baby in prehistoric times, they just have Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm go to random locations we've seen in other cartoon shows aimed at toddlers before - like, there's another episode where they go to outer space, one where they go to the North Pole, one where they go to a world without color... it's basically what people who don't like Rugrats or Muppet Babies think that those shows are like. Just plain blah.

I know Cave Kids was likely intended for younger kids, so I shouldn't be too hard on it, but just because something is intended for younger kids doesn't mean that you have to be this juvenile. Look at Bear in the Big Blue House, Zoboomafoo, heck, even Sesame Street - those shows are intended for a much younger audience than something like, say, SpongeBob SquarePants, but they're not nearly this sappy and cutesy. Still, I'm sure kids would like it fine, but unless you're under the age of five, I wouldn't recommend watching it.

Oh, by the way, I've decided to go back to posting something new on my blog once a week as opposed to every other week. So keep an eye out next week for my review of... well, I'd rather not give it away. But here's a teaser: