Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Robotboy"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

When it comes to cartoon shows starring a robot from the 2000s, I was always more of a My Life as a Teenage Robot fan. But I do recall seeing bits and pieces of Robotboy as well.

This show premiered on Cartoon Network in the United Kingdom on the first of November 2005, then on Cartoon Network in the United States in January 2006 (after a sneak peak in December 2005). Created by Belgian designer Jan Van Rijsselberge, the show received two seasons, making for a total of fifty-two episodes. Nowadays, it seems to have a bit of a cult following but is (and I know I say this about a LOT of cartoons) mostly a footnote in Cartoon Network history.

The titular Robotboy (voiced by Laurence Bouvard) is the creation of the world-renowned scientist Professor Moshimo (voiced by Togo Igawa). But Moshimo fears that Robotboy could fall into the hands of his arch-rival Dr. Kamikazi (Eiji Kusuhara) and his henchman Constantine (Rupert Degas) so they can use him to take over the world. So instead of, I dunno, upping the security at his place or something, he entrusts Robotboy to his biggest fan, ten-year-old Tommy Turnbull (Lorraine Pilkington). With the help of Tommy and his friends Gus (also Rupert Degas) and Lola (also Laurence Bouvard), Robotboy learns how to act like a real boy. I feel like there's an Astro Boy comparison I can make here, but I haven't watched much of Astro Boy so I won't.

Currently, you can find episodes of the show on YouTube, so today we're going to take a look at the seventeenth episode of the show, which consists of the segments "Bambi-Bot" and "Double Tommy". Is the show deserving of its Cult Classic status, or does Robotboy deserve to be sent to the scrap heap? Remember, this was 2000s Cartoon Network, when their programming was extremely hit-or-miss (sometimes you'd get Camp Lazlo, other times you'd get Squirrel Boy). Let's find out!

We start off at Tommy's school, where we learn something about Tommy: he has a classmate named Bambi (ALSO Laurence Bouvard) who he's hopelessly in love with. Isn't it kind of weird that so many cartoon shows starring kids have them hopelessly in love with somebody? Timmy Turner from The Fairly OddParents had the hots for Trixie Tang, Arnold from Hey Arnold has had at least three crushes, Dipper from Gravity Falls had a thing for Wendy... isn't this usually the age where boys think girls have cooties?

And who names their kid "Bambi"? Is that just her parents' favorite Disney movie?

Also, what ten-year-old (they don't specify in this episode what her age is, but
Tommy is ten so I'm guessing Bambi is too) wears EYESHADOW?

Little does Tommy know that he's being spied on. Specifically, Dr. Kamikazi and Constantine have sent a tiny drone to follow Tommy around. I assume they think this'll help them get their hands on Robotboy. Or maybe they plan on sending footage of Tommy to America's Funniest Home Videos or something?

Fun fact: Constantine's voice actor also did the voice of Bubba in Chop Socky Chooks.
I guess he likes playing the bumbling henchmen of crazy cartoon villains.

Dr. Kamikazi realizes that he can use Tommy's feelings for Bambi to his advantage. He slips a card into Bambi's mail slot telling her family that they won an all-expenses-paid trip to a place called Klub Kazi. Now, because real beach resorts rarely if ever give free trips to people at random, you'd think that Bambi, or her mother, would find this suspicious. But they don't. They have stereotypical valley girl voices, so I'm going to assume they're not very bright.

"Hey, what does it say on the bottom? 'P.S., this is definitely not a trap.' Hmmmm, I wonder
why they'd put that there..."

So off Bambi and her mother head to Klub Kazi, and as soon as their car drives off, it's revealed that Dr. Kamikazi has made a robotic duplicate of Bambi - the titular Bambi-Bot. "You know what to do," he tells it. And then, after two minutes, we finally get to see the main character of the show, Robotboy. He and his chums are playing croquet - and Robotboy hits the ball so hard that it flies into OUTER SPACE, and upon falling back down knocks Gus to the ground. I've never played croquet, but I'm going to assume that this isn't against the rules.

I love the cheery smile on Tommy's face. He clearly finds Gus' pain amusing.

Who should interrupt their game but the Bambi-Bot. "Gree-tings. Tommy. How. Pleasing. You appear. In your. Breet-ches. And. Wal-king. Shoes," it says in a very stilted robotic tone not unlike somebody attempting to do a Christopher Walken impression. This should probably raise some red flags, but I guess Tommy is too excited over his crush talking to him to notice.

It's also revealed that everything the Bambi-Bot says is actually the result of Dr. Kamikazi speaking into a microphone. Which means that he's flirting with a ten-year-old boy. I'm not going to say "pedophile", but there's something extremely creepy about this...

If a cartoon is making me think about Herbert from Family Guy, it's doing something wrong.

Since Dr. Kamikazi's child-wooing skills aren't great, he has Constantine take over. Slightly less creepy, but still extremely creepy. Constantine has the Bambi-Bot mention that she's starring in a play (as the village idiot). "I sure hope you can come to the performance," the Bambi-Bot says. "I think you and I should see... more of each other." Y'know what? I AM going to say "pedophile". I can't get my mind off the fact that Constantine is saying that to a boy that he is much older than. Even Gus looks concerned about this, and he doesn't even know who's controlling the Bambi-Bot!

Tommy, you're looking a little red in the face. I think you've been out in the sun for too long.

Dr. Kamikazi orders Constantine to have the Bambi-Bot steal Robotboy, but that's probably not a good idea since she'd be doing it in front of Tommy and his friends, who would obviously attempt to stop her. Constantine doesn't, not because of the reason I just said, but because "You don't understand how romance works, boss. You have to maintain an air of mystery."

You might or might not have been wondering where the actual Bambi and her mother are. Well, they're in Dr. Kamikazi's lair, and they STILL think that they're at a beach resort. Yeah, these two make Patrick Star look like a rocket scientist. And Bambi, a ten-year-old girl, is standing in front of Dr. Kamikazi in a two-piece bathing suit. The pedophile jokes are starting to write themselves...

Meanwhile, Tommy and the Bambi-Bot are going for a hot air balloon ride. "Tommy thinks he's soooooooo cool just because he has a girlfriend, I could get one easily," Gus complains in his annoying Eric Cartman-esque voice. Then he starts making the moves on Lola and kisses her, prompting her to teach him a valuable lesson about consent:

"No means NO, Tubby!"

You know who we haven't seen enough of in this episode? Robotboy. All he's done aside from just stand around is launch a croquet ball into outer space. Fortunately, after Tommy and the Bambi-Bot finish their hot air balloon ride and she walks off, the title character actually gets another line. "Tommy go Bambi too much. Tommy no go Robotboy," he says. Geez, who taught this robot how to talk? The Hulk?

"Robotboy realized that his show never be as popular as other Cartoon Network show starring
boy with abnormally-large square-shaped head and blue non-human sidekick. Might as well
cancel now."

Tommy points out that he can't tell "Bambi" about Robotboy. I guess this is one of those shows where they have to keep the non-human sidekick a secret. For some reason. Kind of like Ned's Newt, except in that show Newton interacted with non-Ned characters several times and nobody questioned the presence of a giant talking newt, so something tells me that Bambi (the real one, not the robotic duplicate) wouldn't be too phased by a robot.

"Because you don't really love her! If you loved her, you could tell her anything, because lovers are always TRUTHFUL!" Lola snaps. Why do you care, Lola? All I can think of is that she's mad because she has a thing for Tommy, but that's just a wild guess. Let me check the show's TV Tropes page...

...oh, she DOES have a crush on Tommy, but he apparently doesn't notice. That must be why she's got her pigtails in a twist over Tommy liking Bambi. Well, anyway, Tommy decides that Lola is right - he SHOULD tell Bambi about Robotboy.

Is it just me, or does Gus kind of look like a younger Kappa Mikey?

There's something about Bambi that Dr. Kamikazi did not take into account when he built a robot to take her place and woo Tommy - apparently, she has a boyfriend, Kurt, who interrupts her next date with Tommy and is all "Hey, you're two-timing me with this cube-head! What the heck?!" He and his friends, both of whom look like tools, decide to "give him a new face", but the Bambi-Bot channels her inner Powerpuff Girl and gives them a whoopin'.

"Sugar, spice, and everything nice, punk!"

Upon seeing this, Tommy somehow figures out that "Bambi" is actually a robot built by Dr. Kamikazi. Instead of just assuming that "Bambi" has been taking kung fu lessons or something. Or maybe the different eye color gave it away. Unfortunately, his being a master of deduction doesn't stop the Bambi-Bot from just taking Robotboy (currently disguised as Tommy's backpack) from out of Tommy's hands. Fortunately, Tommy manages to activate Robotboy by pressing a button on his watch, which means that it's robot fighting time!

Robotboy and the Bambi-Bot duke it out and we get a fart joke involving Gus (huzzah). Eventually, the Bambi-Bot summons robot cheerleaders to aid her and Robotboy goes all Super Sayain or whatever. Just when it seems like Robotboy is down for the count, he manages to defeat the Bambi-Bot, leaving nothing but the flower she wore in her hair behind. Not only was Dr. Kamikazi's plan a massive failure, but his dog winds up getting run over... jeez, that was needlessly dark. Fortunately, the dog survived. But still... you shouldn't run over a dog to get a laugh out of the audience. I guess whoever wrote this episode was a cat person...

The next segment, "Double Tommy", starts with Dr. Kamikazi revealing to Constantine that he has captured Tommy... or HAS he? He explains that the Tommy he has in his posession is actually Evil 17, the world's sneakiest secret agent. He used plastic surgery to turn him into a lookalike of Tommy.

Yes, Dr. Kamikazi is basically doing the EXACT SAME PLAN he did in the previous episode: create a duplicate of somebody, have them take that somebody's place, and have them attempt to capture Robotboy. Because it worked soooooooo well the first time, right? What, is he going to create duplicates of Lola and Gus next if THIS doesn't work out?

"YOU WERE WATCHING ME SLEEP?! Dear lord, you guys ARE pedophiles!"

So Tommy gets abducted by Dr. Kamikazi and Evil 17 swoops in to take his place. When Tommy learns about Dr. Kamikazi's evil plan, he insists that nobody will believe the imposter is him. Tommy, haven't you seen Muppets Most Wanted? Or the episode of Fish Police that did this plotline? Or the TWO episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants that did this plotline? Or the multiple other cartoons that did this plotline? When somebody steals someone else's identity, no matter how obvious of an imposter they are, everyone ALWAYS falls for it because they're suddenly massive idiots.

When Evil 17 gets to Tommy's house and finds Robotboy, he doesn't even bother trying to trick him - he just straight-up TELLS HIM that he's an evil imposter created by Dr. Kamikazi. Apparently Evil 17 is a few sodas short of a six-pack. As is Robotboy, who believes that Evil 17 is just joking and that he really IS Tommy. Y'know what, I'm bringing this back...

Since he doesn't want Robotboy to "get confused", Dr. Kamikazi takes Tommy back to his lair, ties him up, and prepares to give him plastic surgery to turn him into this:

Part warthog, part alligator, part giraffe, part baboon, all ugly.

Before he can go all Dr. Moreau on Tommy, Dr. Kamikazi calls up Evil 17 and tells him to give Robotboy his world-domination orders. But Evil 17 doesn't want to. He LIKES having Tommy's life, comparing it to being on vacation. He's also taken a liking to Tommy's mother (also Lorianne Pilkington)... disturbingly enough, especially since he previously mentioned that he has a wife. I wonder what her reaction was to the whole "husband being turned into a ten year old" thing.

"I wonder if SHE'S a pedophile, too..."

"WE'LL TEACH THAT TURNCOAT!" Dr. Kamikazi snaps. After he and Constantine head off to punish Evil 17, Tommy manages to free himself and sneak aboard their ship. They arrive just as Evil 17 is tricking Robotboy into stealing somebody's dog, and Dr. Kamikazi sics his fish-like minions on him. Since the minions can turn invisible, fighting them is pretty hard for Robotboy, at least until he squirts ink on them.

Eventually, the fight is interrupted by Tommy running out of the ship and confronting his imposter.

No, I will not make a reference to that Muppets Most Wanted meme. This episode is reminding
me too much of that film already.

And OF COURSE Robotboy comes to the conclusion that the real Tommy is the imposter. Dang it, Robotboy. I'm just as frustrated with you as I was with SpongeBob when I watched "Imitation Krabs".

Fortunately, then Robotboy notices that Evil 17 has gained a five o'clock shadow, making him realize that HE'S the imposter, and he sends Evil 17 flying. "I'll be back, Tommy Turnbull! And next time, I'll come for MORE THAN JUST YOUR FACE!" Dr. Kamikazi shouts. Tommy doesn't seem to hold the fact that Robotboy didn't notice he'd had his identity stolen (even after the imposter STRAIGHT-UP TOLD HIM THAT) against him. The end.

What's the Verdict?

I found Robotboy to be a mixed bag. Yeah, this is yet another cartoon I have to put in the "meh, it's okay" category. Of the two episodes, I much preferred "Bambi-Bot" to "Double Tommy", mostly because the latter used one of the most annoying cliches ever.

The best thing I can say about this show is that I like the art style - I think it does a much better job of aping the UPA art style than Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi does - it helps that it's not animated in Adobe Flash, so the character designs look a lot less "stiff". Unfortunately, the show really doesn't have much else going for it. The main character, Robotboy, is basically an afterthought - he doesn't actually do much of anything in either episode, except make me want to slap him in the face for being such an idiot in the second. Maybe I'd forgive that if Tommy and his friends were interesting, but they're not. Why am I watching them when I could be watching a SUPER-POWERED ROBOT? That's one thing My Life as a Teenage Robot certainly did much better. Problem number two: most of the jokes aren't funny. The only one I kind of liked was Lola's reaction to Gus hitting on her. I know I'm making it sound like I hated Robotboy, but I didn't. Like I said, I just found it okay. Maybe I just chose two of the weaker episodes to review. But, no, I won't be seeking out more episodes of it.

Also, my apologies for the multiple pedophile jokes in this review. I know it's nothing to laugh at but the show was giving me way too much material.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Almost Naked Animals"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

This is another one of those shows were just the name was enough to make me say "no thank you". Well, that and the character designs. Animals tend to be a lot less appealing-looking when they're hairless. Unless they're a species that's not known for having hair, like reptiles and amphibians, I mean.

Almost Naked Animals is the creation of Noah Z. Jones, and if that name sounds familiar, it's because he is also the creator of a cartoon that I've previously reviewed on my blog, Fish Hooks. THIS show, produced by 9 Story Media Group, premiered on YTV in January 2011, then started airing on Cartoon Network here in the U.S. a few months later.

The premise? A bunch of animals have their fur shaved off for whatever reason, and the only clothes they wear are their undergarments. I suppose we should give them credit for wearing something at all, seeing as most animals walk around au naturel. Led by a cheery, not particularly intelligent dog named Howie (voiced by Robert Tinkler), the animals run a hotel called the Banana Cabana. WHACKY SHENANIGANS ensue from there.

Almost Naked Animals is generally regarded as being one of the worst - if not THE worst - Canadian imports to air on Cartoon Network in the 2010s. However, the show did receive praise from People Magazine and Common Sense Media, as well as a Gemmy Award nomination and pretty high ratings. There was merchandise, up to and including toys in Taco Bell kids' meals. And do you know how many seasons were produced? THREE - that might not seem like much, but most of the cartoons that I've reviewed on this site are lucky enough to even get TWO (The Buzz on Maggie deserved better!).

So what was it about Almost Naked Animals that made it such a hit (sort of)? Why don't we watch the show and find out? We'll be watching the twelfth episode of the show, which consists of the segments "Cool Paw Howie" and "S.S. Banana Cabana". Against my better judgment, this is Almost Naked Animals.

NOTE: I didn't find out until after I posted this that Mr. Enter did a review of this very same episode. Any similarities between my review and his review are entirely coincidental.

It's a beautiful day at the Banana Cabana, but instead of having fun in the sun, Howie and his friends Octo the Octopus (voiced by Howard Jerome) and Bunny the creatively named bunny (voiced by Emilie-Claire Barlow) are watching TV. Octo is the overly cautious desk clerk of the hotel, whereas Bunny is the activity planner who has mood swings. Neither of them share Howie's enthusiasm for watching the Open Fridge Network (even though it's "Mustard Week").

Odd that Bunny can't be bothered to put on any clothes other than her underwear, but can be
bothered to put on makeup. Is she an escapee from one of those places that tests makeup on rabbits?

Eventually, Howie comes across an ad that encourages viewers to turn their home or business into a prison. Because who WOULDN'T want to run a prison? Surely that's not an absolutely soul-crushing job.

This ad gives us the first genuinely funny joke in the episode: they show a snake in prison, complaining that he wants to talk to his lawyer... and then he just slips through the bars with ease, because A) he doesn't have limbs and B) the bars are pretty widely-spaced (apparently whoever built this prison didn't count on a snake being thrown in there at some point) and leaves.

I didn't know snakes had belly buttons (or little hairs sticking out, for that matter).

Howie practically wets his underpants at the thought of turning the Banana Cabana into a prison. He could call it the "Banana Slamma" - actually, maybe not. That could earn him a phone call from Donkey Kong's lawyers. But before he can actually make it a prison, he needs to get it inspected by a chicken who I guess acts as some sort of prison building inspector. Even though he claims that there are too many "escape areas", curiously NOT mentioning that Howie's stupidity would make him a lousy prison warden, they DO have a group of prisoners that need housing. In they walk, and...

...these guys are prisoners? They look more like tourists. Well, I guess the badger's a little shifty-looking. Maybe he robbed a bank or two at some point.

Why do ALL of the animals have little hairs sticking out after being shaved?
Shouldn't the penguin have little feathers sticking out instead?

Actually, CAN you shave something that's covered with feathers? Wouldn't that
actually be, like, plucking the feathers off one by one?

Anyway, Howie doesn't seem to quite understand how a prison works, because he still describes it as though it were a hotel. I suppose now it's just a hotel that you need to have committed a crime to get reservations for? And these prisoners seem a lot less like tough criminals and more like massive trolls. In fact, according to the chicken, they were thrown in prison for being super annoying. That's against the law? I guess Pinkie Pie, Newton from Ned's Newt, and Monkeybone all have to do jail time, then...

I really don't like looking at the characters' exposed belly buttons.

After gluing Octo to his desk and listening to Howie recite a list of rules that turn out to actually be his to-do list (are you laughing yet? I'm not), the prisoners walk off. Howie assigns everyone their roles and starts doing "warden stuff". One montage later, everyone except Howie is fed up with the criminals... particularly the anteater's shtick of gluing people to things... and want to go back to running a hotel. Howie insists that they just need to give it a chance... until he finds out that the anteater glued him to his sandwich. Then he agrees that the prisoners have got to go.

Did you know that anteaters don't have teeth? I guess this guy must be wearing
dentures.

So they call up the chicken and ask him how they can close the jail is if all of the prisoners escape. Well, that shouldn't be too hard, right? Between Howie being an idiot, the anteater's habit of gluing people to things, the badger probably being able to distract them all by being annoying while the others make a run for it, and the fact that security in this "jail" seems to be nil, they could probably escape without a problem. Oh, wait, there is ONE problem - the anteater, cow, badger, and penguin don't want to escape. They like it at the Banana Cabana. Howie assumes that this is because he's been too good of a warden. Clearly he must get himself thrown into his own "prison" and then lead the escape himself if he wants the prisoners to escape!

Makes sense to ME, I don't know why YOU'RE confused...

"Maybe you should change the wi-fi password. They'd probably leave if they didn't have
free wi-fi."

"Nah, they probably have cellular data..."

So how is Howie going to get himself thrown in his own jail? Simple - he'll do what the cow, badger, anteater, and penguin did and act tremendously annoying. There are many ways he can do that: make that irritating tongue-clicking sound that really gets on my nerves, sing at the top of his lungs, go online and badmouth Hanna-Barbera while gushing over how Jellystone! is such a fantastic "love letter" to it and a "perfect modernization" of the characters, be Adam Devine, drive very slowly on the highway when there's a lot of other cars behind him, go see Disney's newest live action remake in theaters and increase the chances of it becoming a hit at the box office (encouraging Disney to make even MORE of them), get a Twitter account, mindlessly parrot Mr. Enter's opinions about cartoons... but instead, he decides to pelt Bunny with chocolate pudding. Bunny claims that this isn't as annoying as you'd think. Really? If somebody walked up to ME and threw chocolate pudding in my face, I'd probably find it irritating. But what do I know? Nobody's ever actually done that to me.

Side note, it's a good thing that Howie didn't EAT the pudding. Chocolate is toxic to dogs.

It's toxic to rabbits, too, which means Howie is essentially trying to murder Bunny.
Now THAT should get him thrown in prison for sure.

"If anyone knows how to be annoying, it's YOU," Bunny tells Howie. I do love when the characters in the show that I'm reviewing make the jokes for me. Despite this, none of the annoying things that Howie does - shouting out spoilers, tripping people, letting the air out of somebody's pool raft - are apparently considered annoying enough to get him thrown in the slammer. The solution? Howie goes HYPER-ANNOYING, pulling such mischief as replacing everyone's dinner with garbage (except for a raccoon and a rat... he replaces the garbage THEY were going to eat with actual food) and picking up a mole and shoves him into the cow's pie. But apparently THAT'S not jail time-worthy either. It isn't until he makes the anteater drip his glue that he does something so annoying he gets thrown in his own jail.

Now to lead the escape, right? Nope. He doesn't have to: the cow, penguin, anteater, and badger are leaving on their own accord. Mission accomplished, I suppose.

I notice that there's a washing machine outside the hotel. Maybe that's why nobody
wears actual clothes - they're all in the wash!

Well, that was weak. Next segment!

This episode starts off with... the badger being back? This time he's a toilet salesman. I know this is probably meant to be a different character, but it sure LOOKS LIKE the badger from the previous segment. If so, nice to see that he cleaned up his act.

Judging from the hat he has on, he might also be a member of the OWCA from Phineas
and Ferb. I didn't know they sold toilets.

The badger suggests that Howie swap out his boring toilet for the Flushinator, the most advanced, powerful, and expensive on the planet. Howie buys all one hundred and eighty-seven units - one for each room at the hotel, presumably. And probably also one for himself - after all, he's a dog, and you know how much dogs love drinking out of the toilet...

Apparently, Howie also likes drinking the ink from pens.

After installing all of the toilets, Howie brushes off Octo's suggestion that they read the Flushinator's manual, which is full of warnings. By now, it should be obvious that Howie isn't exactly the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. He presses a big red button and wouldn't you know it? Things go wrong. The toilet starts sucking up almost everything in the room - what is it, a toilet or a vacuum cleaner?

Octo is terrified, but Howie is thrilled by the toilet's ability to suck up anything not tied down and keeps pressing that button over and over again. And that does a lot of damage to the pipes, which leads to this...

"I told you building a hotel on top of Old Faithful was an awful idea!"

The hotel is launched into the air and lands on top of the badger's rowboat. This, Mr. Badger, is why you do not give powerful things to complete idiots. Letting Howie have the Flushinator would be like giving nuclear missiles to Donald Trump.

Needless to say, everyone is quite surprised to discover the next morning that their hotel is floating in the ocean. Howie assumes that this is some sort of Waterworld-esque situation and all land on the planet has vanished. He's wrong, of course, but considering that the Flushinator has EXHAUST PIPES and that he bought one hundred and eighty-seven of them, I wouldn't be surprised if they contributed to global warming at all. Nice going, Howie, you've melted the polar ice caps!

Oh, and by the way, say hello to Sloth (voiced by Linda Kash). Her shtick is that she has the hots for Howie. Because, y'know, he's SUCH a catch.

What would the children look like?!

In Howie's mind, the Banana Cabana is now a cruise ship - or rather, a BOAT-tel. That lousy pun is from the episode, I swear I didn't make it up myself (I don't blame you for thinking that, though). Downside: the hotel's being tossed and turned by the waves makes everything slide around and makes everybody seasick... even the narwhal, which is ironic because he's a sea mammal. "We're a hotel, not a boat! This is unnatural!" Octo tells Howie, and besides, what if something goes wrong? Just as Howie is declaring that nothing could possibly go wrong, guess what happens? Something goes wrong. The house winds up shipwrecked on an island.

Well, this doesn't seem so bad. The hotel was already built on an island paradise, so all it really did was move. Downside Number Two promptly rears its ugly head, however, as Octo points out the nearby volcano.

If the Volcano Gods demand a sacrifice, I think I know who the others are going to
choose...

(HINT: he's the only character in this screencap)

After the initial "oh crap, we're stranded on a deserted island" reactions, everyone seems to settle into their new surroundings pretty well. But if you're in a cartoon and you've been stranded on a deserted island, what is the one thing you're likely to run into? I'll give you three guesses. Is it...

A) A tribe of natives wielding spears and wearing grass skirts
B) A dragon with five heads
OR C) Mike Myers?

For those of you who guessed A, congratulations!

I was about to complain about the crabs having those little hairs sticking out as well (and yes, I know it's really stupid to bring realism into a show with talking dogs and octopi in it, but still) but then I did some research and I found out that while crabs don't have HAIR, they DO have hair-like structures called setae (extensions of their exoskeleton) so maybe that's what those little "hairs" actually are? However, crabs do NOT, in fact, have NIPPLES.

The crabs, who like to channel the Yip-Yip Martians from Sesame Street, carry Octo off to be sacrificed to the volcano. They explain to Howie that if the volcano isn't happy, it'll erupt, and the only way to make it happy is by feeding it something with many legs. Now it's up to the others to rescue Octo with a foolproof plan: they will disguise themselves as a creature with even MORE legs than Octo has.

"Please don't question why all of my legs look different! I'm a freak of nature, herp-a-derp!"

He claims that he has fourteen legs, but as you can see, he only "has" nine legs, which is still more than Octo but not by much. Unless you count the tailfin (does that qualify as a pair of legs?), in which case he has eleven. Either way, the narwhal clearly isn't very good at math...

It works, the crabs release Octo... and then the others mess up their whole plan by revealing themselves under the grass skirt. As they make their escape, Howie tells Octo to do that thing octopuses are known to do - spray ink, of course.

I recall the crew of SpongeBob SquarePants stating in an interview that they were initially going to have Squidward spray ink, but it looked more like he was farting (Squidward did eventually wind up squirting ink in the Season 6 episode "Giant Squidward"). Looking at this... honestly, I can see their point.

"I really shouldn't have eaten at Arby's!"

Now they all just need to get off the island before the volcano erupts. They manage to get the hotel unstuck with the help of the Flushinator and "flush [their] way home", leaving the crabs to their fates on the island. I know they tried to sacrifice Octo and all, but you're not gonna let them escape with you? That's pretty cold.

Long story short, they get the hotel back home... just in time for Howie to install the new showerheads he bought and launch the roof back to the island. Huzzah.

What's the Verdict?

Y'know, it's not easy to review something bad that's desperately trying to make you laugh. There's only so many times you can say "This is not funny" before the review starts to get repetitive.

I'm gonna get right to the point: this show is bad. I will say in its defense that "S.S. Banana Cabana" was slightly better than "Cool Paw Howie"... it was still bad, but at least it was less boring. Every so often there's a funny joke, but they can't make up for the multiple other unfunny jokes the show throws at us. The characters? The only one with a personality to speak of is Howie, who isn't funny or charming at all. He's dumb and excitable, huzzah, never seen a cartoon dog like THAT before...

Just so we're clear, I'm not saying that Howie is a Dudley Puppy knockoff,
I just find them rather similar personality-wise (and species-wise, of course).

The other characters are just there to either slap their foreheads in response to Howie's stupidity or be even more obnoxious. And this is just a personal thing, but I really don't like the show's art style: staring at the characters' naked bodies (why do they all have nipples?!) is just gross. But even if it had been Fully Clothed Animals, I doubt the show would have worked. It's another cartoon that's mediocre at best, and I really don't think it's worth your time. Consider this my Hotels.com review for the Banana Cabana.

Oh, by the way... after this, Noah Z. Jones went on to create another show for Disney, Pickle and Peanut. I don't know if I'll be doing a review of that. It looked lousy to me, but I don't want to make it look like I'm picking on the guy. He did work on The 7D, which I personally think is pretty good, maybe I'll review THAT instead...

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Pet Alien"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

Y'know what my only memory of Pet Alien is? I think my family was in an airport and the show (or at least an ad for it) was playing on a TV there. That's it!

Considering that this show, created by Jeff Muncy, aired on Cartoon Network in the United States, it's strange that I never saw any of it when it was on. Premiering at some point in 2004, this is actually a very loose adaptation of a toyline that Jeff Muncy created in the 2000s. The theme song explains the show's premise: a thirteen-year-old boy named Tommy (voiced by Charlie Schlatter) has his life turned upside-down when a spaceship lands on the roof of his lighthouse. From that spaceship emerges five wacky aliens: dinosaur-like Dinko (Charlie Adler), gluttonous and dimwitted Gumpers (Jess Harnell), blue-skinned Swanky (also Jess Harnell), hyperactive parrot-esque Flip (also Charlie Adler), and Dinko's purple dog-ish pet Scruffy. With the exception of Scruffy, they're really not so much pets as they are houseguests.

Two seasons of Pet Alien were produced, making for a total of fifty-two episodes... unless you count each segment as a separate episode (this is one of those "each episode is two segments in one" shows), in which case there were one hundred and four. The show's reception online seems to be pretty mixed, there are some folks who like it and some folks who hate it. Which side will I fall on? Let's find out. We're going to be watching the seventh episode of the show, which consists of the segments "They Came From Outer Space" and "Tentacles of Terror". This is Pet Alien.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Chop Socky Chooks"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

This has been on my "to review" list for a while. It's another show that I never watched, but did see ads for. I'm not sure how I decided what shows to watch and what shows to avoid... well, some of them I obviously just thought looked stupid. This is probably one of them.

Chop Socky Chooks was created by Sergio Delfino, Aardman Animations and Decode Entertainment (who also gave us The Save-Ums!). The show is about three martial artists named Chick P. (voiced by Shelly Longworth), K.O. Joe (voiced by Paterson Joseph), and Chuckie Chan (Rob Rackstraw, with Chris Hardwick apparently taking over at some point), who live and work in a city-sized shopping mall called Wasabi World, which is run by an evil piranha named Dr. Wasabi (Paul Kaye). In each episode the good guys use their kung fu skills to foil Dr. Wasabi's evil schemes. The show was inspired by shlocky low-budget Hong Kong martial arts movies made between the 1960s and the 1980s, which are usually described as being "chop socky". And for those of you who don't know what a "chook" is, it's apparently an Australian slang word for chicken. The three main characters are chickens.

Now, let me ask you a question: do these three look like chickens at all? The only thing that kind of implies "chicken" is Chuckie Chan's comb-esque hairdo. That's it. I always just assumed they were just weird cartoon humanoids, because the characters look nothing like any sort of animal species, let alone chickens. Even the Breadwinners guys look more like birds than our protagonists.

I don't know where they even got the idea for kung fu-fighting chickens, because that sounds like a really stupid premise for a cartoon show. It's a one joke premise, and you'd need really good writing to actually make it good. Then again, a lot of people probably had no idea that the characters were chickens so it probably doesn't matter how stupid the premise was.

Chop Socky Chooks premiered on Teletoon in Canada and Cartoon Network in the U.S. and the U.K. Apparently, the show received high ratings, but Cartoon Network gave it erratic airdates and limited reruns after Star Wars: The Clone Wars premiered and they shifted all of their focus onto it. Twenty-six episodes were produced before the show was canned.

This series seems to mainly have a negative reception online. Common Sense Media claimed it was too violent for kids. Most of the comments for this Cartoon Brew article about the show from 2008 don't think highly of the show - somebody called it "just another predictable and blandly-written animated television series that's about as interesting as watching paint dry." Are they correct? Let's find out, shall we? We're going to watch the nineteenth episode of the show, "Planet of the Bubba". This is Chop Socky Chooks.

The episode starts off with Dr. Wasabi watching the television channel "More On TV" ("more on" sounds like "moron", get it?). Problem is, his television is on the fritz because he's having a gorilla work on his satellite dish. Why is he having a gorilla work on his satellite dish? I'm glad you asked!

Say hello to Bubba (Rupert Degas), your typical cartoon villain's henchmen who's really big but dumb as a rock. He's in this show because, as everyone knows, primates are automatically funny. Oh, wait. No, they're not.

Usually, this character wears a suit. Y'know, a MONKEY suit. The pun is ruined
when you realize that he's actually an ape, but there are far dumber things about this show
to complain about...

Unfortunately for Bubba, there's a meteor heading right towards him. Presumably, this meteor was heading for Earth, as meteors in cartoons always do, but Bubba was blocking his path. So Bubba saved the Earth. Way to go, Bubba! Unfortunately, his way of saving the earth involves the meteor smashing into HIM and the satellite, causing it and Dr. Wasabi's TV to explode - and cable to go out all over Wasabi World.

This means that the three kung fu-fighting chickens can't watch a show they really like called See You Later, Alligator. Chick P wants to use this as an excuse to watch an educational special about Albert Einstein... even though, if the satellite has been destroyed, technically they shouldn't be able to watch TV at all. That's how TV works, right? I could be wrong...

This would be a good time to talk about our three main characters. Chuckie Chan is a gigantic Asian stereotype with squinty eyes, a Fu Manchu mustache, and a bad Chinese accent provided by a white guy. Chick P is your typical tough action girl who, judging from this scene, is much smarter than the other two, who looks like a geisha girl - reminder, geisha girls are Japanese, not Chinese, I guess their mindset was "well, it's still part of Asia, right?". And KO Joe is a sassy black-coded guy who wears a disco suit, has an afro, and fights with an afro pick. Are you offended yet?

Her head looks like a balloon.

Suddenly, the city is shaken by the impact of the meteor smashing into the earth's surface... I guess Bubba blocking its path wasn't enough to keep it from reaching Earth after all. Time for the Chop Socky Chooks to investigate!

Does anyone else smell roast chicken?

Already at the site of the meteor's landing are Dr. Wasabi's ninja chimps, because if there's one thing that's funnier than CHICKENS doing kung fu, it's PRIMATES doing kung fu (and yes, I'm aware that monkey style kung fu exists, but I sincerely doubt that was the mindset behind putting the ninja chimps in the show). They watch as Bubba emerges from the crater with... eeeeeeeeeew, his brain has swelled to an enormous size and is sticking out of his head. Couldn't he borrow a helmet from Mojo Jojo or something?

Maybe put a shirt on, too? His nipples are grossing me out...

"Truly, you are the ape of legend!" one of the ninja chimps says in a stereotypical Asian accent just as offensive as Chuckie Chan's. Is Bubba indeed "the one"? "That depends. Can there be one true one? One of such wonderful oneness that one must act for the good of one and all?" Bubba asks. "One wonders... but I'll give it a go." The reason why he's so smart now is because there's a chip from the satellite lodged into his brain. I doubt putting a satellite chip in your brain would really make you smarter, but it's a cartoon, just go with it.

Just a dumb little observation: if he's a gorilla, why does he have white fur? Perhaps
he's related to Snowflake, the only known albino gorilla in the world, who lived at the Barcelona
Zoo in Spain.

The Chop Socky Chooks are spying on Bubba from nearby. After Chick P describes him as having an "unidentified flabby object" on his head, they confront him for making a "big smoky hole in [their] mall", and then Chuckie Chan quotes an old Asian proverb as all Asian stereotypes in cartoons are known to do. And KO Joe doesn't understand the proverb I guess because he's not Asian. Was that supposed to be an "Asian person talks funny" joke? If so, I'm offended.

But enough about proverbs, we're due for an action sequence! Will the ninja chimps to make KFC out of the Chop Socky Chooks, or will our three stereotypes kick the behinds of the Skunk Fu! rejects?

They look more like sock monkeys than chimpanzees, don't they? I'll admit, the idea of
sock monkeys doing kung fu is a lot more amusing than regular primates doing kung fu...

The chimps manage to defeat the KO Joe, Chick Pea, and Chuckie Chan using baby oil, a mousetrap, and an unpopped bag of popcorn and throw them in jail, with shock collars around their necks for good measure. Dr. Wasabi - who, by the way, looks more like a giant pickle than a piranha - is very impressed.

Here's a joke for you: when you're in the Amazon Rainforest and a jaguar is chasing you,
it's important to remember that jumping into a piranha-infested river won't help at all.
Why? Because jaguars are excellent swimmers.

Bubba, now a rare combination of brains and brawn, demonstrates that he's not going to take orders from Dr. Wasabi anymore by basically making him into his pet. We get a pee joke... classy, fellas... and then Bubba throws him into the jail cell with the Chop Socky Chooks. Next, Bubba gathers the ninja chimps together to tell them that they're gonna rise up against the non-simian citizens of their planet (and yes, there is indeed a Planet of the Apes reference). "We'll start out small, then spread worldwide," he claims. "Monkey SEE, monkey DOMINATE!"

Oddly enough, this is pretty much the exact same plot as that 1996 Jetsons movie script I looked
at a week ago... except instead of machines rising up against humanity, it's apes.

Quick question: is EVERYBODY in this world an anthropomorphic animal? It's really hard to tell what species ANYONE aside from Bubba and the ninja chimps are... also, I was not expecting Dr. Zoidberg to make a cameo.

Need a Futurama character to make an appearance in a crappy 2000s cartoon?
Why not Zoidberg?

The ninja chimps run around the mall trapping people in nets. Meanwhile, the Chop Socky Chooks and Dr. Wasabi are trying to escape from their cell, but the sentient AI software that's holding them captive is making that very difficult... until Chuckie Chan's confusing proverbs make it go all "DOES NOT COMPUTE! ASIAN STEREOTYPE SAYS THINGS THAT MAKE NO SENSE!".

Did they have to give the brown-skinned character light-colored lips? He's offensive
enough already...

Chuckie Chan manages to take out the AI software with confusing proverbs, but as they're escaping the ninja chimps show up and trap them with nets. These guys suck at being kung fu masters, I've noticed.

Wah wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

So what has Bubba done with all the non-simians at the Wasabi World mall? He's put them in a zoo! And he's making the Chop Socky Chooks his star attractions... oh, wait, never mind. They escaped off-camera. Though I'm not sure how he expects to make a profit seeing as he and the ninja chimps seem to be the only non-primates around.

Blah blah blah, more fighting and then they manage to take Bubba down. With the big ape unconscious, they head to Dr. Wasabi's headquarters to free all the people. And then there's a fart joke because this show apparently hates me. But who's waiting for them in the headquarters when they arrive? Bubba, who knocks them out with tranquilizer darts! The Bubba they took down was a robotic duplicate out of nowhere!

Bubba plans on stuffing the Chop Socky Chooks and mounting their heads over his fireplace. Wouldn't it make more sense to cook and eat them, what with them being chickens and all? Then again, gorillas are herbivores...

Bubba's brain is still grossing me out.

Bubba also created a satellite that allows him to shoot lasers at whoever annoys him. Fortunately, Chick P gets an idea after Bubba mentions something that reminds her of the Albert Einstein show she watched earlier - that thing lodged in Bubba's brain must be a "TV receiver chip", ergo it must be tuned directly to the TV channel that shows educational stuff and making him smart. All they have to do is pick up the remote control and change the channel, which I'm sure everyone watching this episode when it first aired on TV did by now as well. Only problem is, Bubba and the ninja chimps won't let them do that without a fight.

At one point, this happens.

Long story short, Chick P gets her hands... er, wings... on the remote and changes the channel to "More on TV", which shrinks Bubba's brain back to its original size with its incredibly stupid programming, releasing the TV receiver chip - which Chick P promptly smashes. The citizens of Wasabi World are freed. Dr. Wasabi is repeatedly zapped with the laser. The end.

What's the Verdict?

It's bad. It's not worth your time. The characters are all one-dimensional, with a good chunk of them also being racist stereotypes. The jokes aren't funny. The animation is mediocre at best. None of the quirky British humor and charm that we find in Aardman's other work is present at all - in fact, nothing about this feels like an Aardman production. Maybe this "chickens doing kung fu" premise would've worked fine for a Chicken Run sequel or maybe a Foghorn Leghorn short, but... actually, what was the point of even making them chickens if the fact that they're chickens has no bearing on anything in the show?

My advice for you would be NOT to watch the show, even if you can find most if not all of the episodes on YouTube. It's not the worst cartoon I've ever seen, but it's still pretty cock-a-doodle-dumb.

By the way: yes, I know this is my fourth review in a row about a cartoon starring farm animals. Hey, at least this one takes place in a mall as opposed to a city. Oh, wait, the episode of Pig City that I reviewed mainly took place in a mall, too... I promise my next review will be about something else.