Showing posts with label literary adaptations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label literary adaptations. Show all posts

Friday, January 9, 2026

Let's Watch This: "The Ant Bully" (2006)

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

Much like The Tale of Despereaux, The Ant Bully is a movie that I remember seeing the ads for but, for some reason, never actually watched. If I remember correctly, I think it's because the premise - a kid getting shrunken down to ant size - creeped me out. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because bugs as a whole creep me out... but that didn't stop me from watching A Bug's Life. Go figure.

You might have heard of this movie before, but did you know that it was based on a book?

According to the director, Jimmy Neutron creator John A. Davis, Tom Hanks sent him a copy of the book after reading it to his son Truman. He's a fan of Jimmy Neutron and he thought John and his animation studio, DNA Productions, would be a good choice to help do a movie adaptation of it. Inspirations for the film included Ray Harryhausen and Star Trek. "I started studying ants and what it is about them that's very cool that I hadn't seen before," John explained in an interview with Moving Pictures Magazine. "I wanted to depict them like a little alien culture that we know nothing about; they have their own distinct civilization and little belief systems. And I started drawing parallels to Aboriginal culture... and there were some really interesting parallels, too. For one thing, the Aborigines have an almost supernatural ability to communicate over long distances, no one is really sure how they do it. It's sort of telepathic in a way, sort of how ants communicate over distances using odors and scent trails... I couldn't really go too deep into that for a kids' movie, but you can see it." Amusingly, at one point while he was writing the screenplay, John's house was infested by carpenter ants, and he had to call the exterminator - which he admitted did make him feel like a hypocrite.

The film was distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures. In addition to DNA Productions, Legendary Pictures and Tom Hanks' company Playtone also helped to produce the film. When it was released in August 2006, it recieved mixed  reviews from critics and wound up just barely making back its budget (budget, $50 million. Box office, $55.2 million). The film's failure resulted in DNA Productions being shut down (and apparently a Neopets movie that was to be made by them being scrapped as well). Why exactly DID The Ant Bully fail? Were people just tired of animated movies starring ants after A Bug's Life and Antz? Or did everyone just decide to go see How to Eat Fried Worms instead?

Don't look at ME. I didn't see THIS movie either...

Like I said, I've never seen the movie, so I legitimately have no idea if it's any good. Let's give The Ant Bully a watch and see if we can figure out why it wound up getting exterminated at the box office.

The movie starts off with a long line of ants carrying food back to their anthill... y'know, pretty much exactly like how A Bug's Life started. I'm gonna try not to make too many comparisons to A Bug's Life in this review, but I can already tell that it's going to be very hard. Especially when we're introduced to an ant who, like Flik, seems to be an outcast in the colony.

But this ant is actually quite different from Flik. For one thing, he's a WIZARD!

And he's RED. Flik is BLUE.

This ant, Zoc (voiced by Nicholas Cage), finds a bunch of fire crystals, which he can use for a potion he's working on. But before we can get any more information on that potion, we cut back to the ants carrying food. Suddenly, one of them hears voices shouting things like "No! No, cut it out!" and "Dog pile! DOG PILE!" just before a giant bespectacled head falls down... fortunately, none of the ants are squashed by it.

The ants scatter just as the kid whose head that is is lifted back into the air. Say hello to Lucas Nickle, voiced by Zach Tyler Eisen (better known as the voice of Aang from Avatar). He's getting picked on by a group of ugly bigger kids because he has the audacity to be smaller than them. And I do mean ugly - I guess even in 2006, CGI animation hadn't quite gotten the hang of making appealing-looking humans.

Actually, that kid in the football helmet might be shorter than Nick. I guess he's spared from
bullying because he doesn't wear glasses?

After the bullies leave, Lucas decides to take his frustrations out on the ants with a squirt gun. Apparently, he does this a lot, because the ants call him "The Destroyer". All of the ants panic... except for one ant, Zoc's girlfriend Hova (Julia Roberts), who is excited because she's always wanted to see a human up close. Clearly, Hova is a few sodas short of a six-pack, because if, say, Godzilla was attacking MY house, I wouldn't be all giddy over seeing an enormous prehistoric reptile up close, I'd be freaking out.

"I suppose I could just tell the bully's parents, or MY parents, about what he did, but nah,
I'm going to murder bugs instead. Hope you can swim, literal puny insects!"

Lucas doesn't just attempt to drown the ants, he kicks the anthill as well, sending them all flying. Fortunately, the ants are saved by his mom (Cheri Oteri) calling out for him to come inside. Then we learn that Lucas' parents (the father is voiced by Larry Miller) are going on vacation for their wedding anniversary, and for some reason, Lucas DOESN'T feel the need to tell his parents about his being bullied. I know that this isn't exactly the end-all solution to bullying - I've seen enough reviews of that My Little Pony episode where the Cutie Mark Crusaders get bullied to know that - but come on, Lucas, it's a START at least.

Speaking of that My Little Pony episode, it also taught the lesson that it's okay to become a bully if you've been bullied yourself... unless you're one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, of course (it's not a very well-written episode). With this in mind, I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out that Lucas' bully was only lashing out because HE was bullied by someone even bigger, and that automatically makes it okay.

Back in the anthill, Zoc is still trying to create that potion of his, but it doesn't work - it's supposed to change color and it's not doing that. At all. If it DOES change color, he claims, it'll be a solution to their "human problem". What, does he think that if he can get Lucas to change color, it'll make him nice? Hova cheers Zoc up by tickling him, and then the Head of Council (Ricardo Montalban) shows up.

"Hey, do you think it's possible to design an ant that looks like Rafiki from The Lion King?"

"Challenge accepted!"

"Attacks from the Destroyer grow more frequent. Our food supply is now desperately low," the Head of the Council explains. "The council was hoping, perhaps, YOU might have a solution." Zoc's suggestion is that they fight back, but Hova points out that it would put the ants' lives at risk. Perhaps they could find some way to communicate with the human. "Sometimes, you're a real stinkbug, you know that?" she tells Zoc. Is this some sort of insect racism?

We cut to Lucas' parents driving off, leaving him and his big sister (Allison Mack) with their wacky grandma (Lily "Ms. Frizzle" Tomlin). She thinks that by turning on a bunch of fans and creating air flow, she can prevent alien abductions. Uh, okay then...

She makes the grandma from Hey Arnold look sane by comparison.

The next day, Lucas is still acting all emo when the bullies show up again. One of them throws a firecracker at him... okay, okay, hold on. A FIRECRACKER? These bullies are straight-up trying to blow Lucas to smithereens?! I know since this is animated, there's a fifty-percent chance that Lucas will survive the explosion and just be covered with ash or whatever, but still... these bullies are psycho!

This screencap serves as foreshadowing - not of something that happens in the film, but of
how the film will do at the box office.

Lucas then spots the anthill and gets an idea. I was expecting him to shove the firecracker in there and try to blow up the ants, but instead, he attempts to drown them again, this time using a hose.

As you can plainly see, the ants haven't quite gotten the hang of indoor plumbing.

While Lucas is commiting anticide, he is approached by a sleazy-looking guy who introduces himself as Stan Beals (Paul Giamatti) of Beals-a-Bug Pest Control. He claims that Lucas' dad called for his services, but he forgot to sign the contract before he left. Personally, I'm skeptical that this guy is a very good exterminator seeing as he has flies - y'know, BUGS - swarming around his head. So is Lucas.

He might as well be wearing a shirt with "I'M THE VILLAIN" written on it in big bold letters.
That goatee is already a pretty big giveaway.

But all it takes for Lucas to sign the contract is for Stan to mock him. But Lucas, if you have somebody exterminate the ants, who will you take your anger over being bullied out on?!

The good news is, Zoc finally managed to finish his potion before the flood. Hopefully, that potion can help fix up the anthill, because it's looking pretty worse for wear. "To attack without provocation, without REASON, just because they CAN... it's... it's BARBARIC," the Head of Council laments. Just wait until social media becomes popular, Head of Council - then you'll see just how barbaric humans can be.

"I'd say what this potion does, but anyone who saw the trailers for the movie already knows,
so there's really no suspense here."

That night, thunder rumbles and lightning flashes as Zoc sneaks into the Nickles' house, crawls up the stairs, and enters Lucas' room. Lucas is sound asleep, allowing Zoc to climb up his head and pour a drop of potion into his ear. When Lucas wakes up, we get two startling revelations: one, he sleeps in the nude, and two, somebody replaced his bedroom with a desert!

"I need to stop waching Dune before I go to bed..."

Actually, Lucas DOESN'T sleep in the nude - he's now so small that he's fallen out of his underwear!

I wonder if Fruit of the Loom paid the filmmakers for the product placement.

Lucas is so startled that he falls off his bed and into a bag of potato chips. "HUMAN!" Zoc shouts, his head magnified in front of Lucas by the lens in his glasses. "COME WITH US!"

"I AM OZ, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL!"

"Really?!"

"No, I just couldn't resist making this joke..."

When Lucas' grandma hears his scream, she rushes into his room and sees ants scurrying across the floor. With her binoculars, she manages to get a better look and discovers that they're carrying Lucas off. It takes her a second to realize that her grandson is now the size of an ant (perhaps even smaller).

The ants carry Lucas back to the anthill and throw him in. All of the other ants are very shocked to see him (by the way, hi, Tom Kenny as that one ant who says that Lucas' skeleton is on the inside), and two guard ants take him to the council. They're putting him on trial for crushing the food storage chambers and "drowning the colony with the dreaded yellow rain". Ew, is he implying that Lucas PEED ON THE ANTS? Seeing as Lucas says that he "had to go"... ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, EW.

"How was I supposed to know that ants had feelings, or families, or trials?! They're just a bunch of stupid ants!" Lucas says. Wow, Lucas, if you were expecting to get a light sentence, you just blew it. You might as well walk up to a lion and say he has an ugly face.

Look at how much bigger the queen ant is than the other ants. Talk about being large
and in charge.

The ants demand that Lucas be destroyed, but Zoc disagrees. "We are not mindless savages!" he says. "This human should be studied... and THEN we'll eat him!" But the ant queen (Meryl Streep) suggests that instead they "change the nature of this human" and "create a brighter future for all ants". Thus, she sentences Lucas to live and work in the colony and learn their ways. Hova offers to teach Lucas their ways. And if by the end of this, Lucas still wants to harm the ants, I guess, THEN they can chow down.

We haven't had a screencap of Hova yet, so here's one now.

Lucas, of course, isn't on board with essentially becoming an ant. Hova tells him that he just has to find his place in the colony. First, he can try foraging - the instructor, Kreela (Regina King), isn't on board with having "the Destroyer" around, but what choice does she have? Also there is Fugax (Bruce Campbell), a scout ant who claims that he has journeyed far beyond the "great black rock" (the road) where the humans "ride in their giant metal cocoons". Lucas and the other young ants learn how to forage by racing to a giant jelly bean, but since Lucas isn't an ant, he's at a disadvantage.

"Lucas, being an ant means more than just having six legs, or lifting ten times your own weight, or walking vertically up a wall. It's being part of a colony, not always thinking of yourself first," Hova tells him. And also about fighting wasps (voiced by Neil Ross, Bob Joles, Wally Wingert, Richard Green, Leon Morenzie and Jonathan Cook), who descend on the colony to steal their herd of caterpillars. There's a bit of confusion here - how come the ants and wasps are sentient and can talk, but the caterpillars act like cows, and Zoc's little firefly friend acts like a pet?

Granted, A Bug's Life also had an aphid that acts like a dog... there were also those milipedes
that pulled the circus wagon, but there wasn't any indication that THEY couldn't talk...

Let's be honest, wasps are scary enough at normal size, but being attacked by GIANT wasps is straight-up nightmare fuel. Fortunately, Lucas eventually manages to run into the firecracker thrown his way before he got shrunk and manages to light it, and the wasp chasing him gets his stinger caught in it. KA-BOOM goes the wasp. The other wasps retreat.

Lucas is a hero! Everybody loves him now... except Zoc, who's shocked (rhyme not intended) that the other ants are praising the enemy. That night, Lucas learns something new about ants - they eat what a caterpillar craps out. Then Lucas burps... boy, this movie took a gross turn all of a sudden.

Hova, Kreela, and Fugax take Lucas to the Chamber of the Ages, which is filled with weird glowing designs on the walls that tell the story of their colony.

Among the images on the walls is a portrait of the ant queen's mother. It is said that one day she will return and honeydew will fall from the sky like rain, and they will never go hungry again. There's also a painting of another being known as "the Evil One", the cloud-breather, who Lucas notices looks a lot like Stan Beals.

Boy, if only Stan Beals actually looked like that. He'd be a much cooler villain...

Lucas realizes that he has to call off the exterminator, which means going home. "No way, Two-Legs! The humans' nest is strictly forbidden!" Kreela says. But then Lucas gets an idea... the colony needs food, right? Like jelly beans (or as the ants call them, "sweet rocks")? And Lucas' house is full of them, in assorted colors and flavors.

Okay, I see where this is going. The ants are gonna find out that Lucas signed the contract of the "Evil One" and they'll get mad at him and not forgive him until Stan attacks and he saves them all.

If I had a nickel for every animated film released in 2006 about animals sneaking into suburbia
to raid food, I'd have... you know how the meme goes.

Which reminds me, I really need to rewatch Over the Hedge.

They get to the kitchen by hang-gliding with rose petals, and sure enough there's a whole box of Jelly Bellies (more product placement!) in there. While the ants are collection jelly beans, Lucas tries to call the exterminator... and accidentally calls a pizza place instead. Then his sister stomps into the kitchen and spots Fugax, and repeatedly attempts to smash him with the phone. Fortunately, the grandma shows up and stops her, claiming that she'll squish Lucas. As the ants escape down the drain, she shouts at them to take her instead. Also, she thinks they're aliens, because apparently she's never seen an ant before.

Zoc is not pleased to discover that Lucas took Hova, Fugax, and Kreela into the "humans' nest". He shows Lucas the potion that will return him to normal size and declares that he isn't going to use it on him because he is a threat to every ant in the colony, especially Hova. As a result, Lucas runs away. Then Zoc and Hova get into an argument about whether or not they can trust Lucas, and then she, Fugax, and Kreela head out to find him. I'm confused, whose side are we supposed to be on here? I think Zoc is justified in fearing humans after, y'know, the entire beginning of the movie, but Lucas isn't trying to hurt anyone so Hova's trust in him isn't unjustified either. But they try to paint is as though Zoc is being selfish... how?

This movie needs something to lighten the mood. How about a beetle voiced by Rob Paulsen? He'll do just fine.

He's voiced by Rob Paulsen, so I know I'm going to like him.

But then, the beetle suddenly vanishes. What's going on? Why don't we ask the giant frog?

Michigan J. Frog, I know you're angry that The WB shut down and you're out of a job,
but you don't have to take it out on Lucas.

It's hard to make a frog menacing, but this movie manages to pull it off. Hova, Fugax, and Kreela manage to climb a soda can to safety, but Lucas gets gobbled up. Soon he's hanging out inside the frog's stomach with the beetle, a fly (Mark DeCarlo), a glowworm (S. Scott Bullock), and a bug that's literally just a head. Ooh...

He looks like a fusion of Flik and P.T. Flea. Is this supposed to be a jab at PIXAR? If so, WHY?
Just because they mad ean animated movie about ants before you did? That seems needlessly petty...

"Let me out! I don't wanna be a toad's stool!" the fly protests. Outside the frog, Zoc decides to get himself eaten so he can save Lucas and the other bugs - by making the frog burp. Then he, Lucas and the ants make a run for it, leaving the frog and his buddies to re-enact a Budweiser commercial.

It seems that Zoc, despite his claims otherwise, is starting to warm up to Lucas. They have a heart-to-heart chat about how humans are different from ants and how humans punish those who are different... much like how Lucas punished the ants for being smaller than him.

The next morning, Lucas sees Stan Beals pull up to the house in his pest control truck. He and the ants make it back to the anthill and tell everyone that the "cloud-breather" has come to wipe out the entire colony. And he's going to use everything in his arsenal to do that! While laughing evily, because pest control people in animation are always evil! They're not just doing their jobs, they all HATE pests!

You see, years ago, when he was trying to decide what his career would be, a bee stung him.
Ever since then, he's hated all insects. It's the bee's fault.

I didn't realize this until I was posting the review, but... the name of Stan's pest control company is "Beals-a-Bug". What does that sound like? Beezlebub. Y'know, the DEVIL.

"And how do YOU know of this creature?" the Head of Council asks Lucas. Lucas admits that he brought Stan there... well, technically he didn't, it was his father who did that (assuming Stan wasn't just making that up and he really just likes showing up at random houses and conning kids). The Head of Council orders the guards to take Lucas away, but as they're doing that, Lucas gets an idea - if Zoc shrunk HIM, he can shrink Stan too, right? And when Zoc says that he trusts Lucas, the council agrees to Lucas' plan.

But first, they must enlist the help of the wasps.

Since Nicholas Cage is the voice of Zoc, it's a good thing these are wasps and not bees.
Otherwise, I'd totally make a "NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!" joke.

Thus, the ants and wasps do battle against Stan... and most of them get creamed because he is big and they are miniscule. Eventually, Lucas lands in his disgusting dandruff-soaked hair... I'll spare you the screencap, but hasn't this guy ever heard of SHAMPOO? He's even got HEAD LICE living in it. Thanks, movie, I sure didn't feel like EATING ANYTHING TODAY.

Well, one thing leads to another, and soon Lucas finds himself danging on one of Stan's nose hairs... also disgusting... and when Stan sneezes, he lands on the wasp Hova is riding... which Stan promptly swats, injuring Hova in the process. Then Stan starts spraying pesticide, but fortunately Lucas manages to save Hova before she meets the same fate of many a bug in those Raid ads. Even the beetle and the glowworm help fight Stan by flying up his pant leg, allowing the beetle to bite him in a vulnerable area. While Stan is writhing in agony, the wasp stings him in the rear end - and his stinger is covered with the shrinking potion. You know what THAT means, don't you?

Answer: it means that Stan is... NOT shrunken down to the size of an an, actually. Instead, he's just turned into a Twisted Whiskers character.

Um, okay then...

Stan is chased off by the remaining wasps. Lucas is a hero, and the ant queen says that he's earned his freedom. Zoc gives him the potion, and he's returned to normal size. He's also naked. His grandmother is very relieved - though she's likely still going to wind up in a mental asylum when she tells Lucas' parents about how he got shrunken down and kidnapped by aliens. His parents return home, too.

And then the bullies show up again, but this time Lucas stands up to the main bully, which makes the others turn on him. I read the original book in preparation for this review, and as I recall, it ended with the ants shrinking the bully. I guess the filmmakers thought it'd be better if they taught the kids watching that standing up to a bully is better than relying on magic ants to solve your problems.

Speaking of the ants, he thanks them with jelly beans.

Avoid the white ones! They're coconut-flavored!

What's the Verdict?

It's no A Bug's Life, but in my opinion The Ant Bully is a pretty good film. I didn't think I'd like it at first, since so much of the first half is just Lucas being bullied and acting emo, but once he gets shrunk, things really pick up. I like the ants, particularly Fugax. The voice actors all do a good job. I will say, however, that the animation hasn't aged super-well... the ants look decent, but the humans are pretty ugly. Maybe it looked more impressive in 2006, but nowadays, not so much. There are also a lot of cringe-worthy and disgusting jokes (the head lice... WHY?). I know, I know, it was the 2000s, gross-out humor was at an all-time high then, but still...

It's a pity that The Ant Bully underperformed at the box office. I'm still not sure why it did. For all its flaws, it didn't deserve to be the thing that destroyed DNA Productions (I don't think ANY animation studio deserves to be shut down entirely). Ah well. You can find the film on Tubi at the moment if you'd like to watch it yourself. If you'd like to read the book, it's been uploaded to the Internet Archive.

And remember, please don't pee on ants. That's just gross.

Tuesday, January 10, 2023

Let's Watch This: "Tom Sawyer" (2000)

I've never actually read the original Tom Sawyer book. My experience with Tom Sawyer-related things basically amounts to Tom Sawyer Island at Disney World and the episodes of Futurama and The Fairly OddParents where he appears. That's it. However, I am pretty sure that in the original book, Tom Sawyer wasn't a cat.

This film was produced by MGM Animation, directed by Paul Sabella and Phil Mendez. Much like Disney's Robin Hood, it turned all of the book's characters into animals - most of them cats, because I guess cats are easy to draw or something. I probably won't be going into how much the film strays from the book because, again, I have never read it. And I know what you're thinking... doesn't my never having read the book make me unqualified to do a review of an adaptation of it? Well, I've never read the original Little Mermaid story either, but that doesn't stop me from liking the movie. And isn't a rule of good adaptations that they should be enjoyable even if whoever's watching it hasn't read the original book? Or am I just making that up?

Well, anyway, this is Tom Sawyer.

We begin by following a dragonfly to a church, where a pig preacher (voiced by Marty Stuart) is leading a gospel number. Did you know that when Robin Hood was in production, they were originally going to have Friar Tuck be a pig, but they made him a badger instead because they were worried that members of the Catholic Church would be offended? With that in mind, it's kind of odd that we have a pig be a preacher in THIS film...

Everybody's havin' themselves a grand ole time, but then the festivities are interrupted by this guy bargin' in:

Have I ever mentioned how much drool grosses me out?

This is Injurin' Joe, a character who was called "Injun Joe" in the original novel but we can't call him that in a kids' movie because it's politically incorrect. Oddly enough, he's voiced by two people - Hank Williams Jr. and Kevin Michael Richardson. And judging from the fact that he swipes the poor box, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that he's the villain.

But surely the town sheriff (Pat Corley) and his deputy (Thom Adcox Hernandez) will stop Injurin' Joe, right? Well, actually, no... the sheriff is too afraid that he might hurt them. On the one hand, Injurin' Joe is a big, ferocious grizzly bear and the sheriff is some sort of dog (a bulldog, maybe?), but on the other hand, it's the sheriff's job to stop people from doing evil things. Surely he knew the job was dangerous when he took it.

Boy, Satchel from Get Fuzzy has really let himself go...

Meanwhile, at Mama Odie's house...

That looks like a precarious place to live, doesn't it?

We finally get to see Tom Sawyer himself, voiced by Rhett Akins. At the moment, he's fast asleep, dreaming about being in a Fleischer Studios cartoon.

Puss in Boots after a visit to Jenny Craig.

In his dream, he's a pirate. And he's fighting pirates. Question, did the original book have anything to do with pirates? Like, at all?

What about knights? Because one second later, he's a knight battling a dragon.

Even the horse has stick arms and legs. Not a fan of this art style.

And then he's a cowboy.

Seriously, it looks like the horse's head is going to pop off its body.

And then he's... Ali Baba, I guess, being seduced by what is presumably the only human character in the movie. This raises all sorts of questions... do humans exist in this world of anthropomorphic animals? If so, do the animals know about them? If not, why is this being in Tom's dream human, or at least has a human face?

And why is it trying to seduce him? Does Tom have a thing for humans, despite being
a cat?

And then he's an Indiana Jones knockoff, swiping a gem from a tribe of African natives. Yes, it's just as racist as it sounds. We swapped out "Injun Joe" for "Injurin' Joe", and yet THIS was allowed in.

I'll spare you a screencap of the natives.

Tom is woken up by his Aunt Polly (Betty White). He lives with her and his half-brother Sid (Dean Haglund). He also has a pet frog named Rebel (Dee Bradley Baker), who Polly and Sid are grossed out by. "I thought you made it perfectly clear that you didn't want wildlife in the house!" Sid whines. So, there are non-anthropomorphic animals in this world of anthropomorphic animals? I suppose it's not too bad since we haven't seen any anthropomorphic frogs yet, but it's still a headscratcher. It can't just be that only the mammals are anthropomorphic like in Zootopia, we see anthropomorphic birds too.

Also, what kind of frog is that supposed to be? The coloring suggests a poison dart, but they're native to South America so I don't know what one would be doing in Missouri, and physically it resembles a bullfrog...

"Binyah binyah!"

Polly throws Rebel out the window, then complains about how he smashed one of her flowerpots despite the fact that it was her own fault for tossing him out the window in the first place. Sid demonstrates that he's a snide little pain in the rear by telling Tom not to be late for school or else he'll tell their aunt. Though, honestly, I think the big round glasses, hairdo, and bow tie made it pretty clear already that he's one of those "nasty little snitch at school" type of characters.

I swear I've seen a character who looks just like him - same hairstyle and all - in another cartoon,
but I can't put my finger on WHERE...

On their way to school, Tom and Sid come across Huckleberry Finn, a fox voiced by Mark Wills who Sid dislikes because he's always loafin' around fishin' all day instead of getting a good education. Tom insists that Huck doesn't even HAVE to go to school because he's already so smart, to which Sid claims that he's gonna tell Aunt Polly about this. "I like being a snitch!" he declares, chuckling to himself as he leaves. Sid's only been on-screen for, like, five minutes and already I find him incredibly annoying. I know I'm supposed to, but still...

"How should we design Tom?"
"I dunno, maybe take the cat from Oliver and Company and give him hair, then stick
some clothes on him..."

Tom decides to spend some time with Huck instead of following Sid to school. We learn that Huck doesn't take baths - he sees them as a waste of water, since no matter how many baths you take you're just gonna have to take another one. I bet he smells really bad then. Tom tells him about his weird dream, which Huck dubs a "premonition" as he's heard that Redbeard the Pirate buried his treasure around these parts. "I betcha it's in the Boneyard!" he says with a smirk. Upon hearing that, Tom wets his pants. What is the Boneyard? Are we going to get any sort of explanation as to what the Boneyard is?

"Don't ask my why I wear overalls but can't be bothered to put on a shirt. We're animals, it's not
like clothin' is a requirement for us anyhow..."

Then two more cats show up. They are Rebecca "Becky" Thatcher, Tom's love interest voiced by Hynden Walch, and her father, Judge Thatcher, voiced by Wayon Jennings. And upon learning that Rebecca will be attending his school starting that very day, Tom is suddenly super eager to get to school because his being head over heels in love trumps his hatred for the place.

Rebecca reminds me a lot of Jenny from the Secret of NIMH sequel. Most of it probably
stems from the fact that they're both voiced by Hynden Walch, but they have the same color scheme
and general role in the movie too. Odd, isn't it?

Tom sneaks into the school building without the teacher, Mr. Dobbins, noticing. Mr. Dobbins is some sort of bird... I'm guessing a turkey, and he's voiced by Richard Kind. Alas, Sid decides to alert Mr. Dobbins of Tom's being late.

Okay, question - if this guy is supposed to be a turkey, why does he have the coloring of a
GOOSE? Turkeys aren't light grey. Of course, they don't talk, have hair, or wear clothes either, so...

Mr. Dobbins punishes Tom by... forcing him to sit with the girls. Horror of horrors. He doesn't mind, because this gives him the chance to put the moves on Becky.

"Are we in the sandbox? 'Cause I'm diggin' you..."

Side note, I always find it really distracting when cartoons give animals human hairstyles. I think it's because animals like cats are already covered with fur, so it makes me wonder which parts are considered "fur" and which parts are considered "hair". That, and it just looks weird. Could be worse, though... at least it's not like Gadget from Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers, where the "fur" parts are skin-colored, which makes it look like they don't have fur at all outside of the hair on their heads...

Incidentally, Tom's flirting with Becky makes him a bit unlikeable seeing as we promptly lean that he's ENGAGED to another student, Amy Lawrence (Clea Lewis). Which is odd, seeing as they're kids... at least I think they're kids. None of the voice actors are making any sort of effort to actually SOUND like kids. If they go to school, they have to be teenagers at the very least.

"TELL ME MOOOOOOOOOOOOORE ABOUT MY EYES!"

Rebel winds up sneaking into the school - probably because Mr. Dobbins left the window open like an idiot - and as a result we get some WHACKY SHENANIGANS involving him jumping into Mr. Dobbins' mouth and down his throat. Get it? He's got a frog in his throat? Nyuck nyuck nyuck.

This is a wonderful screencap because, out of context, it's unclear just WHAT, exactly, is going on.

After the torturing of Mr. Dobbins concludes, Tom and Becky do some more flirting. Reminder: Tom is engaged.

I just realized something. Tom is a cat. As in a TOMcat. I see what they did there. Come to think of it, why didn't they call the movie Tomcat Sawyer? Did they think it was too on the nose or something?

Are you FELINE the romance that's goin' on between these two?

Get it? FELINE? Because they're... yeah, I'll show myself out...

Through a montage, we see that Judge Thatcher don't approve of Tom havin' a thing for his daughter. For some reason. Maybe he knows that Tom's engaged?

The next day, Tom wants to do some fishing, but Aunt Polly has put him in charge of painting her boat while she and Sid go out for the day. The solution - trick some of the other kids (most of whom are clearly voiced by Dee Bradley Baker) into thinking that painting a boat is fun, fun, fun so that they'll ask if THEY can do the painting for him. He does this through song... and by "song", I mean he and the other characters speak in rhyme to some bouncy music.

Why the heck does the turtle have hair? Turtles do not have hair!

Say, wasn't it a FENCE Tom tricked somebody into painting for him in the book?

Eventually, Becky shows up, and she and Tom do some more flirting. His girlfriend who looks like a cat version of Lila from Hey Arnold is, understandably, not pleased. Fortunately, Tom gets his comeuppance for being a two-timer when Becky tricks him into kissing Rebel.

And Rebel didn't even turn into a prince.

That night, Tom and Rebel sneak out to meet up with Huck and do some treasure-huntin'. They go to the Boneyard, which as it turns out is some sort of cemetery. But they're not the only ones there. Injurin' Joe is forcing a dog voiced by Don Knotts to dig for the treasure as well. And guess who else is there? The town deputy! "This here belongs to the county!" he declares upon seeing the treasure chest.

Then the film takes a really dark turn as Injurin' Joe actually kills the deputy. No, he doesn't tear him limb from limb as you'd expect a big ol' grizzly bear to do, he throws him through the air and he slams his head on a tombstone. Still, that's pretty dark. Maybe they should've called this guy Murderin' Joe.

Not only that, but he also leaves the Don Knotts dog... well, okay, his name is Mutt Potter, I suppose I should probably mention that because just calling him "the Don Knotts dog" sounds lazy... in the pit with the deputy's badge so that everyone will think Mutt killed the deputy. Tom and Huck manage to get away, but Rebel isn't so lucky. Don't worry, he's not killed like the deputy was. Still, being the hostage of a ferocious bear doesn't exactly sound like much fun.

Injurin' Joe really needs a manicure.

Tom knows that if Injurin' Joe finds out he and Huck were the ones who saw what he did to the deputy, they will likely suffer the same fate. So they decide not to tell anyone what they saw. Meanwhile, Sheriff Fu Dog is woken up by a note wrapped through a rock flyin' through his window. The note reads "Mutt Potter is out cold in the ol' boneyard. He sure needs help. Unknown friend..."

The sheriff goes to the boneyard and, of course, assumes that Mutt killed the deputy despite his insistence that he doesn't remember anything. "You're gonna HANG, Potter!" he snarls. "You're gonna HANG from the HIGHEST TREE!"

Becky arrives early at school and sneaks a peek at Tom's test paper. As usual, he got an "F". Then she accidentally spills ink all over it. Tom tries to help clean it off with his tail, but winds up smudging it more. Becky's all "I'm in so much trouble!". Tom suggests that she do what he always does - lie. "You mean, not tell the truth?!" Becky gasps. Yes, Becky, that's basically the definition of lying.

"Lie?! As in, MAKE SOMETHING UP?!"

When Mr. Dobbins shows up and sees the spilled ink, Amy tattles on Becky (shouldn't that be Sid's job?), but Tom claims that HE spilled the ink and he has the ink on his tail to prove it. Mr. Dobbins punishes him by whacking him on the behind with a ruler multiple times. Apparently, it was okay to do that when the novel was first released. These days, Mr. Dobbins would be lucky not to get a pink slip.

"Feel the wrath of my ruler, Offbrand Danny from Cats Don't Dance!"

After school, Huck warns Tom that he thinks Injurin' Joe is on to them. This makes Tom very paranoid, and eventually he winds up running right into Becky again. You know what that means - MORE FLIRTING! Oh, and Amy just so happens to be nearby. I don't even get it. If Tom already has Amy, why does he even need to put the moves on Becky? What does Becky have that Amy doesn't?

Then Becky and Amy start singing. For whatever reason, Becky's singing is done by Lee Ann Womack and Amy's singing is done by Alecia Elliott. Did they think that Hynden Walch and Clea Lewis couldn't sing or something? Did they just want to get more country singers into the film somehow?

Well, eventually Becky finds out that Tom is, y'know, engaged and she's pretty mad. That's what you get for being a two-timer, Tom.

That night, Tom and Huck head off to bring a ham to Mutt in the hopes that it'll help him remember what happened the night that Injurin' Joe killed the deputy. Too bad they just so happen to be walkin' by Brer Fox's den...

"That Brer Rabbit won't get away this time. I'm gonna catch him and then I'm gonna eat him
or hang him or skin him or maybe throw him in the briar patch!"

...I mean, Injurin Joe's lair, and he overhears them. As does Rebel, who hops out of the lair to find them, Joe in pursuit.

Wait, if pigs are anthropomorphic in this world, where did they get the ham? Did Tom and Huck...
you know?

After bringing Mutt the ham, Tom, Huck, and Rebel are pursued by Joe through the woods, but they manage to get away via a convenient raft. Presumably, they are swept out to sea, and eventually wash up on an island. When the sun rises, they discover a pile of rocks that just so happens to look a lot like Redbeard's ship...

Boy, this movie is long...

And instead of being concerned that they're stranded on a deserted island with no food or shelter, or that Mutt is still going to get hanged, or that Injurin' Joe is still running free, Tom and Huck have themselves a musical number about friendship, prancing around through a Technicolor landscape where EVERYTHING IS ALIVE. Flowers, clouds, leaves, even the water! THE WATER IS ALIVE. I hate to steal a line from the Nostalgia Critic, but... it's like Pee-Wee's Earth!

Sentient water should not be that terrifying.

Seriously, this whole sequence MUST BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED. By the time we get to the leaf-breathing dragon showing up, you'd be forgiven for thinking you're on acid.

And why does the dragon have a beak? I know that's hardly the strangest thing in this
musical number, but still...

So after whatever the heck we just watched, we see Aunt Polly, Sid, Becky, the sheriff, Judge Thatcher, and that skunk kid finding the remains of Huck's raft and Tom's boot. They form themselves a search party and, fortunately, eventually drift by the island where Tom and Huck are. Tom and Huck try to get their attention, but are unable to. So, first thing in the morning, Tom says, they're gonna swim back and let them know they're okay... why do they have to wait until morning? Why not try and swim after the rafts right now? Is it just easier to swim in the daylight or something?

But wait, Huck points out. Injurin' Joe is still looking for them, right? Tom says that they'll disguise themselves and live in storm cellars like outlaws. So, wait, hang on... they want to let the townsfolk know they're okay, but they want to disguise themselves and essentially live like outlaws? Why don't they just tell the sheriff "Hey, Injurin' Joe is the one who killed the deputy, and now he's out for us!"?

Well, in the morning, they wind up crashing their wake. So everyone knows that they're still alive. But what about Mutt? He's still gonna get a noose around his neck. Tom wants to clear his name, but Injurin' Joe shows up at the lynching. If he blabs, Injurin' Joe will have his neck. What will Tom do?

Oh, of COURSE he does the right thing. "Injurin' Joe did it!" he shouts. Joe chases after him and Huck, and the sheriff actually decides to do something about it.

I know bears are big, but are they really THAT big? Is Joe just abnormally large? Or are the rest
of the characters just small?

Long story short, Joe winds up falling through a bridge and into the river. And the river leads to a waterfall because of course it does. Tom and Huck are heroes. Tom and Becky sneak away from the party to do some spelunking... jeez, shouldn't the movie be over by now? The bad guy's been defeated, Mutt's been saved, where the heck are the credits?

At one point during this scene, Tom and Becky see a skeleton. A skeleton that looks more
like a human's than an animal's. This just makes things more confusing.

The others eventually notice that Tom and Becky snuck off and head to the cave to rescue them. And then we get another song. Seriously, shouldn't the movie be over? What is the purpose of this scene? Oh, so they can find that treasure Tom was so determined to get his paws on.

And, as it turns out, for the actual climax. You see, Injurin' Joe somehow survived hurtling over a waterfall and just so happened to land in that very same cave.

Seriously, even for a BEAR Joe looks abnormally large...

Blah blah blah, more chasing, Tom and Becky wind up back in the hot springs of Nickelodeon slime, and the others show up just in time. Huck sics a flock of bats on Joe, allowing Tom and Becky to get away. Then water starts rushing in. Water and rocks. Lots and lots of rocks. One of which clobbers Joe. So, he can survive a waterfall but a ROCK takes Joe out. Okay then...

After that, the roof caves in and this is the result:

A skylight. Not sure how that's impressive...

Amy hooks up with Huck, leaving Tom free to hook up with Becky. Sid is punished for the crime of being a snitch. All's well that ends well.

What's the Verdict?

There isn't anything really "bad" about Tom Sawyer. The animation's good, most of the voice actors do a fine job, and the songs are decent. However, the film does have a few problems. For one thing, it's long. Very, very long. There are a couple pointless scenes that could've easily been taken out. Even the trippy musical number with the sentient water. On top of that, Tom, Huck, and Becky are kind of dull. Making the characters animals was a nice touch, but there's not much variety - it's mostly cats and dogs. Why couldn't they have made the Sheriff, I dunno, a raccoon or a weasel or something? Or made Amy a mountain lion or a bobcat?

Still, as a whole I think the film is okay. Like I said, I haven't read the original book so I don't know how many liberties this adaptation took (other than the whole "they're all animals" thing). Maybe somebody who's actually read the book can fill me in.

What are we reviewing next time?