Let's Watch This: "Rio" (2011)

I think the reason why most reviewers review things that they don't like is because it's easier to get joke material out of something that's not good. Is it possible to make a funny review of a movie that you like? I don't know, but I'm gonna give it a shot.

First off, let's talk a little about Blue Sky Studios. For a while, they more or less became the animation studio that everyone hates (a title that used to be held by DreamWorks, then was held by Illumination Entertainment, and is now held by Sony Pictures Animation), which I don't think they deserve. Sure, they were way too reliant on Ice Age for a while (we didn't need FOUR SEQUELS TO IT), but it's not like they're incapable of making good films. I personally love the first Ice Age (and kinda like the third - the second and fourth ones are lousy and I haven't seen the fifth and make no plans to [and I'm going to be cautiously optomistic about the television series that'll be featured on the DisneyPlay streaming thing), Horton Hears a Who, and The Peanuts Movie.

Today, we'll be looking at another film of theirs that I personally am a fan of. That film is their 2011 release, Rio.

The movie begins with the sun rising over the city of Rio de Janerio... and a rainforest near the city. A bird flies around, waking up other birds, leading into our first musical number: "Real in Rio". I like the animation during the animation during this scene: the scarlet macaws doing their thing, the toucans dancing... Although (and this is admittedly a nitpick) it's pretty obvious that for the yellow macaws, they simply took the model for Blu, recolored him, and called it a day. I mean, I understand that CGI animation is expensive and all, but come on, couldn't you make it a little less obvious?

"Dude, have you noticed that we look EXACTLY THE SAME?"

The music wakes up an adorable blue macaw chick in a tree, who starts to dance to the music. But then, the musical number is interrupted by poachers... I'm sorry, smugglers, who capture all the birds. In the confusion, the chick falls out of the tree and gets captured as well. Soon he's in a truck in Minnesota, and the crate that he's in falls out of it and gets found by a little girl named Linda, who gently tells the little chick that she'll take care of him.

Years since that faithful day, Linda (voiced by Leslie Mann) now runs a bookstore, with the bird, who she's given the name Blu (voiced by Jesse Eisenberg), as her faithful assistant.

Uh... macaws don't have teeth, do they? What the heck is Blu brushing?

As he enjoys his hot chocolate, Blu is taunted by two geese outside voiced by Wanda Sykes and Jane Lynch. Question: what exactly was the purpose of getting celebrities to voice these characters who only show up in one scene and have very few lines? Not that Wanda and Jane do a bad job, but it's kind of weird, isn't it? You couldn't have just gotten, I dunno, Tress MacNeille to do them?
Granted, this sort of thing isn't new for Blue Sky - Robots had Paula Abdul, Jay Leno, and Randy Jackson as background characters with jack-squat in the way of lines (Jay Leno voices a fire hydrant at the beginning who congratulates Rodney's dad on his new baby, then notices a dog standing nearby and says "Don't even think about it.").

A guy named Tulio (voiced by Rodrigo Santoro) shows up, scaring the geese away. He explains that he's there because he heard that Linda has a rare "blue macaw" (it's actually called a Spix's Macaw) and then starts acting like a crazy person. Blu asks, "Linda, a little help here?" I don't blame you for being freaked out, Blu.

Anyhow, it turns out that they found a female blue macaw, and they want Blu to go to Rio de Janerio so that they can get it on. Linda isn't exactly a huge fan of the idea, she's kind of overprotective of Blu (he doesn't even fly) and let's be honest here, Tulio seems kind of crazy. So she turns him down, but that night Blu tries his hand at flying (and fails miserably), so she decides maybe he wants to go to Rio after all.

So it's off to Rio, where Tulio informs Linda about Carnival, and Blu meets a canary and a cardinal named Nico and Pedro (voiced by Jamie Foxx and will.i.am). They offer to get him out of his cage (Pedro says he'll "pop that cage open like a soda can), and give him some romantic advice when he reveals that he's there to meet a girl.

"Dude, somebody's doing a review of our movie. And it's full of unfunny jokes!"

They arrive at the bird sanctuary place, where Tulio allows birds to eat out of his mouth (which is in my opinion gross) and Blu discovers that the macaw he's there to meet, Jewel, is kind of a free spirit. Tulio makes Blu look "irresistible" - and by "irresistible" I mean stupid. Seriously, look at him.

He really thinks Jewel is going to find that attractive? She'll probably take one look at him and burst out laughing.

Jewel (voiced by Anne Hathaway) tackles Blu, then after Blu introduces himself, she leads him over to a tree (which he climbs up), and Blu assumes that it's time for some "repopulating". But when Blu tries to kiss her, Jewel gets angry - she was enlisting his help to escape the place. "Did you actually think that we were gonna kiss?!" she demands. "We just met!" Blu insists that it's all just a big misunderstanding, but then Tulio decides to set the mood with, uh, a disco ball and Lionel Ritchie music, and Jewel assumes that Blu is responsible for those things (for some reason... I mean, how could he have possibly summoned it?) and starts beating the heck out of him.

Linda is hesitant to leave Blu alone as she and Tulio go out to eat, but Tulio insists that the security guard, Sylvio (voiced by Bernardo De Paula), is super-competent. But then a fierce cockatoo named Nigel attacks him, getting him out of the way so that somebody can sneak in and steal the birds. Also, I did not need to see the guard in that outfit. You couldn't just have him dancing to the music with his normal clothes on?

(I was gonna put a screencap of the guard in the outfit here, but I decided to spare you all)

Meanwhile, Blu is trying to sleep, and Jewel is still trying to escape. "I wouldn't expect a pet to understand," Jewel says. "I am not a pet. I am a companion," Blu insists. Jewel asks why she would want to be with a human over his own kind and claims that you can't trust humans. We don't any explanation as to why Jewel doesn't trust humans, but I guess they thought the implication that she was captured by humans and brought to this place for reasons that she probably doesn't understand was enough. Blu insists that humans are awesome and then Nigel's partner-in-crime sneaks in and nabs them.

Linda obviously isn't thrilled to discover that Blu's been stolen and initially blames herself, then blames Tulio for dragging her into this mess in the first place. Tulio says, "I don't understand! Sylvio is the best guard in the business!" I dunno, I think anyone who dresses like that wouldn't make for a very competent guard.

Meanwhile, the birdnapper is bringing the birds to his employer's lair. Blu is repeating to himself, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home..." Sorry, Blu, but that only worked for Dorothy because she was dreaming.

It turns out that the birdnapper is a boy named Fernando (voiced by Jake T. Austin), who was sent to nab the blue macaws by an evil guy named Marcel (voiced by Carlos Ponce). Marcel has two idiot henchmen named Tipa (voiced by Jeffery Garcia) and Armando (voiced by Davi Vieira). Remember that gag in the Nostalgia Critic's review of Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw where the villain's two idiot henchmen point out that they're in every single movie ever? The fat guy and the skinny guy who are both thugs? That same joke applies here. Because Marcel's henchmen are that stereotype. Fernando isn't evil, of course - he's only working with the smugglers because... I don't know why he's helping them (apparently he's just really desperate for money?).

Jewel tries to escape (she's not trying to abandon Blu, she just doesn't know he can't fly yet and was expecting him to follow her) but Nigel (voiced by Jermaine Clement) stops her and puts her back in the cage. Then Fernando brings the cage into the room where Mr. Sunglasses and Stupid Haircut keeps all of his OTHER smuggled birds. I like the gag about the bat being among the caged birds.

"You gotta get me outta here! This cage is driving me BATTY!"

(I know, I know, it's an obvious joke...)

So Marcel's all, "We're going to be rich!" and Fernando is bummed because instead of being a normal kid he's stuck working for these three idiots.

Then we cut to Sleazy McSmuggler Guy and his two idiot henchmen. Sleazy is making a deal with some guys to deliver the blue macaws to them, and then it's time for Nigel's feeding. Here we learn that Nigel is a cannibal. Just like Woodstock:

I have this movie to thank for making me a fan of Jermaine Clement. He does a wonderful job as Nigel.

Then Nigel enters the room where the smuggled birds are kept and tells Blu and Jewel (and the audience) his backstory. He used to be the star of a television show, but then they decided to ditch him for a parakeet. He didn't take it well, and decided to get revenge on all pretty birds.

I actually like Nigel's song, though I will admit the rap portion in the middle is kind of cringe-worthy (though the gag about him blaming seagulls for his pooping on people is pretty funny).

Jewel then tries to bust out of the cage, which gets the attention of the smugglers and Nigel. Blu then shows her that they can just pick the lock on the cage, and Jewel decides to fly for it. And it's NOW that Blu reveals that he can't fly, causing them to fly to the ground, slide across a clothesline, and land in a pile of boxes. "Is there anything else I need to know?!" Jewel demands. "Yes!" Blu replies. "I can't fly, I pick my beak, and once in a while I pee in the birdbath!" That's funny, but I have to ask... how is it physically possible for Blu to pick his beak?

And apparently Blu is really heavy, too, because Jewel can't fly when he's
chained to her.

Then it's time for a chase sequence between Blu, Jewel, Nigel, and Sleazy Smuggler Guy's idiot henchmen. There's a cute gag here where Blu barks like a dog to scare off a cat that's in their path, then says that he's bilingual. Long story short, Blu and Jewel get away and escape into the jungle, where Blu is freaking out - for a bird that can't fly, the jungle is a pretty dangerous place. Fortunately, they find some sort of structure where they can sleep.

Meanwhile, Linda and Tulio are searching for Blu, and the next morning Fernando finds one of the posters they put up and informs Linda that he knows where Blu is. And Tulio continues to be incredibly weird.

Everybody has their little quirks.

Then we see Blu and Jewel trying to break the chain, but it backfires on them spectacularly. Then baby toucans show up and attack them, but the father toucan, Rafael (voiced by George Lopez) saves them. This is actually the only voiceover role that George Lopez has had so far that doesn't make me question why he hasn't fired his agent. He also voiced Grouchy Smurf in those live action Smurfs movies (despite the fact that George Lopez's voice does not fit a teeny-tiny Smurf at all), the orange slug alien guy in that Escape From Planet Earth thing (which I haven't seen and I plan to keep it that way) and one of the Chihuahuas in Beverly Hills Chihuahua... ah yes, and he was also going to voice Speedy Gonzales in that live-action/CGI hybrid movie about him that fortunately didn't get off the ground. Yeah...

Anyhow, Rafael says that he knows this guy named Luiz who can get the chain off, but first he must ask permission from his wife (voiced by Bebel Gilberto). His wife's initially suspicious that he just wants to sneak off to Carnaval, but Rafael somehow convinces her that this isn't the case by reminding her of when THEY met at Carnaval. And we find out that Rafael's wife can't sing.

"WHAPAH!"

So anyhow, Smuggling Mr. Sleazy  decides that since his idiot henchmen are morons who are able to get outsmarted by parrots, he is putting Nigel in charge of finding the macaws. Then we cut back to Blu, Jewel, and Rafael. Rafael decides to teach Blu how to fly. His idea is to have Blu and Jewel jump off a mountain, but wouldn't you know it, Blu chickens out as they're running (and as he points out, I'm pretty sure Rafael's whole "one of you flaps their left wing, the other flaps their right wing, together you fly" plan wouldn't have worked anyway) and he and Jewel fall off the cliff and onto a hang-glider. They ride the hang-glider for a minute or so, but then they fall off and WHACKY SHENANIGANS ENSUE.

"Blue Sky Studios' next movie after this is a FOURTH ICE AGE MOVIE?!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Nigel, meanwhile, enlists the help of some marmosets to find the macaws. Why marmosets? Well, because as the Nostalgia Critic said, Hollywood thinks that monkeys automatically equals funny. Why did I mention the Nostalgia Critic TWICE? Now I'm afraid that I'm just going to come across as a Nostalgia Critic wannabe (though I think that ship has sailed already).

"Make one Flight of the Conchords joke and I'll eat you alive!"

Blu, Jewel, and Rafael run into Nico and Pedro, who as it turns out are buddies of Rafael (Nico's "Baby got beak" joke is pretty awkward). They say that they just missed Luiz, but there's plenty of time before the next cable car shows up to do a little PARTYING and take them to the Tiki Room Rave Party. Actually, now that Disney owns FOX, I wouldn't be surprised if they decide to stick characters from the film in the Enchanted Tiki Room*. I don't think it's necessary for that to happen, but eh, it can't be any worse than when Iago and Zazu ran the place.

Tweety Bird can suck it. NICO is the best cartoon canary.

This leads to the movie's next song, "Hot Wings". Which is awesome. DANG can Jamie Foxx sing. If this song is included, I would be totally fine with a retheme of the Tiki Room based on this movie. Anyhow, this is also the scene where it becomes obvious (as if it wasn't already) that Blu and Jewel have feelings for each other. But before they can get repopulating the species, the marmosets arrive and tell them that they are coming with them. Rafael tries to be the peacemaker, but the lead marmoset insults him, and the other birds say that if they mess with their friends, they mess with THEM. And then it's (as Pedro puts it) BIRDS VS. MONKEYS!

What WOULD happen if a flock of birds went at it with a bunch of marmosets?
Now I'm curious...

Then the cable car arrives, but a spoonbill named Kipo (also voiced by Bernardo De Paula) gives Blu and Jewel a lift. Nico channels Indiana Jones and takes out the marmosets. And Blu says that he and Jewel are like "cheese and sprinkles". Do people actually say that in Minnesota?

So then we cut back to Linda, Tulio and the kid. Fernando admits that he's the one who took them and Tulio makes this face.

He does not approve of this film's use of the "Liar Revealed" cliché. Actually, DOES this qualify as the "Liar Revealed" cliché? Fernando didn't actually lie about being involved with the bird-napping, he just... didn't bring it up.

Then Fat Idiot Henchman and Idiot Thin Henchmen show up dressed in stupid chicken outfits while Linda and Tulio hide. Apparently, they're going to be in Carnival. When they leave, Linda and Tulio decide that they must stop the two idiot henchmen and decide to use a motorcycle to do it. Tulio can't drive it to save his life, but of course Linda can do it with ease (because it's just like riding a snowmobile).

Nigel interrogates a rejected Angry Birds character** on the whereabouts of the "cerulean birds", and then we cut back to our heroes. Blu tries to make the moves on Jewel, but he's not very good at it. And then the others decide to set the mood, which leads to another song - and this is performed by Jamie Foxx, too. Seriously, if Jamie Foxx does any more voiceover work, the projects he lends his voice to better have him sing. Otherwise, that's just a waste. But alas, the romantic mood is ruined by Blu swallowing a petal.

Then they finally arrive at Luiz's garage. Luiz, as it turns out, is a bulldog (voiced by Tracy Morgan). It isn't specified if he actually owns the garage or if he just has an owner that we never see. While I like Luiz, I'm not a fan of the fact that he CONSTANTLY DROOLS (I'm sorry Luiz, I know you can't help it and that it's a medical condition).

Somehow, Luiz has access to dangerous machinery which he plans on using to cut the chain, but Jewel decides to fly for it, resulting in Blu barely missing the whirling blades. Thankfully, the day is saved by Luiz's drool, which allows Blu and Jewel's talons to slip out of the chain.

Did you know that bulldogs got their name from their use in an English sport
called "bullbaiting", which involves tethering a bull to a stake in the ground and encouraging
the dogs to try and bite the bull's nose? Yes, that DOES sound like a really cruel (and stupid) sport.

Then we get the typical "couple has an argument", during which Blu admits that he hates samba, much to everyone's shock. He claims that every song sounds exactly the same (which is my opinion on most modern music today, just FYI). Blu storms off in one direction, Jewel flies off in another, and Rafael, Nico and Pedro know that it's up to them to get them back together.

Ah yes, and Luiz puts on an outfit just like the one the guard wore earlier. What is this movie's fascination with male characters in that outfit? It's not as disturbing as when the guard wore it, but still...

Nico and Pedro decide to catch up with Jewel as she flies off in order to convince her not to give up on Blu, but Nigel shows up. Jewel tries to claw his eyes out, but Nigel grabs her by the legs and announces that she's taking her to a parade. And everyone loves a parade.

Meanwhile, Rafael catches up with Blu and informs him that he's not going to Carnival, he's going home to be with his family - he loves Carnival, but he loves his family more, and that's a decision that he made with his heart, not his head. Then Nico and Pedro show up and inform them that Nigel has Jewel, and Blu is all "NOT ON MY WATCH! WE'RE GONNA GO SAVE HER!". So it's off to Carnival!

Marcel the Sleazy Smuggler Sleaze Guy discovers that the idiot henchmen have made a float that looks like, um, this.

I think even the Great Gonzo would find this float hideous.

Linda and Tulio sneak into the parade dressed as Blu and Jewel, but Linda is mistaken for a dancer and shoved into a float. And then Carnival begins. And nobody likes Marcel and his idiot henchmen's float, where Jewel is in a cage.

When I first saw the movie, I wondered why Jewel didn't just bust out of the cage. I guess maybe she remembered that it didn't work for her when she tried it in the cage she was in back at the smuggers' hideout, but in that case, why doesn't she just pick the lock as soon as Nigel has his back turned? Maybe she knows deep down that Blu will be there to rescue her?

EDIT: My mistake, Blu didn't pick the lock before. He just knew how to open the cage from inside. So Jewel probably just doesn't know how to pick the lock. Or open the cage from inside, for that matter.

Blu and the others show up, and Linda spots Blu among the dancers. Blu has to decide - go back to Linda, or save his love interest? Of course, he chooses to go rescue Jewel.

Imagine having to render and then animate all those individual people. I hope
the animators were paid well...

Blu uses a skateboard to make it to the float and lets Jewel know that he's there. But that's just what Nigel wanted him to do! I like the gag where Blu says that he's got backup, and then we see Rafael, Nico and Pedro in another cage, and Pedro doesn't realize that Blu is referring to them and starts cheering that they're going to be rescued.

So the smugglers are getting away with the birds, but Linda is all "OH, HECK NO!" and steals a Carnival float. It's Sleazy Smugger and Idiot Henchmen Fighting Time!

Well, okay, no it isn't. Instead, the smugglers fly off in their plane. Dang, it would've been awesome seeing Smuggler the Smuggling Sleazebag and his idiot henchmen get their rear ends handed to them by Linda and Tulio.

So, how will our heroes get out of this mess? Easy - Blu pops his cage open like a soda can using a fire hydrant, and then he lets Jewel out, and then they let Rafael, Pedro and Nico out, and they all start freeing the other birds. Then they get the door on the back of the plane open and all the birds except Blu and Jewel fly for it. Jewel says they'll figure out how they can get Blu out of there together.

But then Nigel arrives and tackles Blu. Jewel tries to fight him, but Nigel launches her into a wall, injuring her wing in the process. Nigel is all "Now we have TWO birds who can't fly, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" But then Blu is all "I don't think so, pal!" and uses the fire hydrant to send Nigel flying. Then Nigel says hello to Mr. Jet Turbine (though we find out during the credits that he survived).

Sleazy and the idiots jump out of the plane (in case you're wondering what happens to them, during the credits we see a photo of them in jail). Jewel falls out of the plane, and Blu jumps out after her. He has no plan here, other than "NOT LETTING GO OF MY LOVE", but then Jewel makes out with Blu, and then the power of love allows Blu to fly. "I'M NOT AN OSTRICH!" he shouts.

Then they make it back to Linda and Tulio. Ah yes, and Fernando, who apparently caught up to them offscreen. Tulio is all "I'll fix Blu's girlfriend's broken wing". Thus Jewel learns to trust humans, and soon she's ready to fly again. And Linda now works at the bird sanctuary (so who's running the bookstore back in Minnesota?), as does Fernando. And we end with a reprise of "Real in Rio", which thankfully means I get to hear Jamie Foxx sing again. During the song, we see that the two macaws have had chicks (who look nothing like they do in the sequel, but to be fair they probably didn't know that they were gonna have a sequel yet).

Oh, and Nigel survived, but he now looks like this.

Suck it up, Nigel. You got sucked into a JET TURBINE, you should consider yourself
lucky to even be alive.

So how does Rio hold up? Well, I personally like it. It's no Ice Age, but that's to be expected. It's got likeable characters, good songs, decent animation, and the voice actors all do a good job. I admittedly don't care all that much about the human characters (the idiot henchmen in particular I can do without), but I can stomach them fine. I'll admit that most of my comments in this review are nitpicks, but they don't take away from my enjoyment of the film, they're just little questions I have.

I would recommend giving it a watch. I haven't seen Rio 2, but I've heard that it's not very good, but who knows? If you liked the first one, maybe you'll like the second one as well. I don't know if they're gonna make a third one.

* Then again, I have heard rumors that they might be adding a Brazil pavilion to EPCOT. Maybe if they do, they can just stick a ride based on the film in there.

** He even throws the bird into a pile of crates (she hits a marmoset, but still).