Let's Watch This... Again: An Episode of "Sidekick"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

Y'know what we haven't done on this blog in a while? A re-review!

Sidekick, created by Todd Kauffman and Joey So for Nelvana, does have a great premise for a cartoon: after so many cartoons about superheroes, how about one about superheroes' SIDEKICKS? Sure, Robin already got his time in the spotlight as the leader of the Teen Titans, but aside from that, there hasn't been much focus on the superheroes' faithful young companions. In this show, kids go to a school called the Academy For Aspiring Sidekicks and learn how to be sidekicks.

The main character, Eric Needles (voiced by Miklos Perlus), is the sidekick of superhero Maxum Man (Ron Pardo), who is currently missing. His best friends are the dimwitted villain's henchman wannabe Trevor Troublemeyer (Christian Potejza), the vain and bossy Vana Glama (Stephanie Anne Mills) who Eric totally has the hots for even though she can't stand him, and Kitty Ko (Denise Oliver), a sweet-natured and highly-intelligent Asian girl who is desperately in love with Eric but he's too stupid to notice, and who I also found to be the best character on the show, the only one I actually kind of liked, and the one who I thought would make a much better protagonist. Other characters include headmaster Professor Pamplemoose (Patrick McKenna) and Maxum Man's sentient computer Maxum Brain (Tony Daniels).

I will say in Sidekick's defense that it has more going for it than something like Scaredy Squirrel or Spliced. However, I wasn't that impressed by the previous episode of the show I watched. But who knows? Maybe I'll like this one better. We're going to watch the thirty-seventh episode of the show, which consists of the segments "The Land Before Grunk" and "I, Sidebot". This is Sidekick... again.

Our first segment is "The Land Before Grunk". It begins with Eric's class learning about the world's first supervillain, Grunk, via a puppet show. No one could stop Grunk because he had an army of dinosaurs (who could apparently breathe fire, unless whoever's putting on this puppet show thinks that dinosaurs and dragons are the same thing)... until Maxum Man arrived. Seeing as Professor Pamplemoose says that Grunk was around millions of years ago, Maxum Man must be tremendously old.

And if that puppet is any indication, he's aged tremendously well!

Using his prehistoric freeze breath, Maxum Man froze Grunk for all of eternity... or until a really hot day, at least. Then, Professor Pamplemoose tells the class that he's going to take them all on a field trip to see Grunk... after a grueling three-hour bus ride through the desert.

Wait, the frozen supervillain is currently being held in a DESERT? Y'know, a place where it gets very, very HOT? Where there's a pretty good chance that the ice containing him could MELT? That's like trapping Hansel and Gretel in a prison cell made of gingerbread.

Just curious, do they ever explain why Pamplemoose has green skin?

Apparently, whoever chose to place the frozen Grunk in a desert wasn't so stupid after all - he's hidden in an ice cave, which deserts do indeed sometimes have (often formed in lava tubes). Since Eric and Trevor were asleep during the puppet show, they have no idea what they're even doing in the desert, much to Pamplemoose's ire. If Grunk were freed, he claims, they would all be doomed and cavemen and dinosaurs would roam the earth once again. Wouldn't it just be one cavemen, or does Grunk have a bunch of brothers frozen in ice too?

Well, anyway, as his classmates head to the gift shop, Eric stupidly decides to throw a small rock at the frozen Grunk. And even though his rock-throwing skills are miniscule, it does cause a crack to start forming in the ice. A few seconds later...

Jeez, we're already three minutes in and already chaos has ensued. Pacing is a thing, guys.

"THANKS, DUMB-SHAPED KID, FOR RELEASING GRUNK," Grunk tells Eric from atop his tyrannosaurus rex (yes, yes, dinosaurs and cavemen did not co-exist, it's a cartoon, they can take some historic liberties). Upon hearing that, Vana has to be restrained from punching Eric... and, honestly, while it has been previously established that Vana has anger issues, I don't blame her for wanting to clobber him. Then Grunk steals Eric's sandwich, which makes Kitty MAD! "Nobody steals from my Eric!" she declares... even if Eric has a habit of getting her name wrong. As those of you who read my previous review of the show might recall, Eric is a tool.

Huh, Grunk has green skin too. I wonder if he's Pamplemoose's ancestor or something.

Then we get two disgusting jokes in a row! First of all, Grunk falls in love with Kitty. Reminder, he's a million-year-old caveman and she's... at least twelve, right? This is all sorts of wrong. Then we get a joke involving Trevor FARTING IN KITTY'S FACE. Ew.

Even Bee Movie was a better love story than this!

Grunk promptly kidnaps Kitty, and her friends pursue him in Maxum Man's car... I guess Eric already has a driver's license even though he's... again, at least twelve. "You've just stolen my one true love!" Eric shouts. Of course, he's not referring to Kitty. He's referring to the sandwich. Honestly, Kitty, what do you see in this guy? On the bright side, Eric does promptly get stomped on and then eaten by the t-rex.

Hooray! This means Kitty can be the new protagonist!

And because Trevor is a tool too, his reaction to seeing his best friend get eaten is to cheerfully say, "Cool!" Kitty demands that Grunk bring Eric back ASAP, so the t-rex barfs Eric out. I'm sorry, but I still find it really disturbing that Grunk is in love with someone who's clearly a teenager at the oldest. They really didn't think this plot point through, did they?

Vana is annoyed that Grunk is attracted to Kitty instead of her, because apparently she has a thing for cavepeople? And Eric's still more upset over the sandwich than he is over Kitty being kidnapped. Kitty needs to get some better friends.

While Eric and Trevor are working on a plan to stop Grunk, poor Kitty is trapped in a cage being hit on by someone several decades older than she is. Eventually, Eric and Trevor show up, dressed in Maxum Man costumes. But Grunk has an ultimate weapon he can use against them. Y'know how owls often cough up pellets with mouse bones and stuff in 'em after they eat? Well, t-rexes do that too... or maybe it's actually just their poop. Either way, disgusting.

Jeez, how many people have those t-rexes eaten? Maybe now we know what happened
to Maxum Man...

Eric and Trevor dodge the t-rex crap, and Grunk... gets confused and gives up. Normally, I'd complain about this being anti-climactic, but there are two reasons why I won't. First of all, if the alternative is him throwing more poop at them, I'll gladly take this instead. Second, HE might be giving up, but the t-rexes aren't.

It initially seems like the t-rexes eat Eric and Trevor, but instead they just put them in the cage with Kitty. But when Eric sees that Grunk still has his stupid sandwich... who is he, the Rob Paulsen-voiced alien from Lilo and Stitch: The Series?

Anyway, he gets an idea: he calls up Vana, but she refuses, even though these are her BEST FRIENDS. What, is she still bitter that Grunk didn't fall head over heels in love with HER? I'd say you dodged a bullet, Vana. Fortunately, Eric gets another idea. He tells Vana that, actually, they don't need her, they have Kitty, who's so much braver and smarter and better than she is (I mean, he's not wrong). Sure enough...

"Yabba-dabba-doo, punks!"

Vana manages to defeat the t-rexes - and even BLOWS ONE UP FROM THE INSIDE, maybe that's just the animal-lover in me talking but I find that pretty gruesome. "EAT ICE, CAVEMAN!" she shouts before zapping Grunk with her freeze-gun, trapping him in ice once again... and also Eric, Trevor, and Kitty as well. Oh, and Eric's precious sandwich, can't forget THAT.

"I WAS FROZEN TODAY!"

I'm going to assume that Vana eventually came back and freed Eric, Trevor and Kitty with an ice pick, because all three of them are okay in the next segment...

Today, the class has a guest speaker: this old guy who tells them that they won't have to risk life and limb assisting superheroes anymore. He picks up one kid and starts using him to wipe his butt... ANOTHER thing that is wrong on a number of levels...

He introduces Laser-Operating Individual Digital Sidekicks (L.O.I.D.S. for short). They're flying robots that will be assisting the superheroes instead of the sidekicks. Pamplemoose dubs the students obselete and closes the academy.

It should be pretty obvious why I chose to review this episode in particular. Nowadays, companies are obsessed with AI and want to use it to replace human employees - ESPECIALLY those that work in the animation industry. At some point, I might wind up reviewing a cartoon made or written entirely by AI. I really hope everyone calms down about AI before that happens, but something tells me this episode is going to serve as a cautionary tale that nobody listened to. By the way, I never use AI when writing my blog posts - so if you see a spelling error, a grammar error, or a joke that's not funny in the slightest, that's on me.

I guess the appeal of AI for these companies is that you don't have to pay it like you do
employees. Because I'm sure it's SUCH A HASSLE for Disney, the company that makes billions
of dollars a year, to pay their animators, rihgt?

Unlike all the other students, Eric is THRILLED that he's been replaced by a robot. Kitty is dismayed because if the school closes, how will she see Eric? He suggests that she can just visit the mansion, which gives Kitty the idea to sneak into the mansion while Eric is sleeping and... capture his farts in a jar?

Okay, Kitty, you're still the best character on the show, but this is a big no-no.

Why would she even WANT his farts, anyway?

"I won't stand for this! No machine can replace ME!" Vana declares. But Eric is still thrilled - now they won't have to fail tests and put their lives in danger... but then it occurs to him that if he's not a sidekick, he might not be able to live in the Maxum Mansion anymore. He'll have to go back to the orphanage! And he's so tired of singing "It's the Hard-Knock Life"!

Sure enough, Maxum Brain tells Eric when he gets home that he's no longer staying in the mansion. Now he'll have to go stay with Trevor, who's started invention EEEEEEEEEEVIL things like a "funday device" that spreads doom in a "fun way". Even ignoring that, bunking with Trevor probably isn't the best idea, what with his pet gargoyles around too.

Note to self: review Gargoyles at some point...

After recruiting Kitty's help and getting Eric's clothes back off-camera (they were previously taken by Maxum Brain because they were property of Maxum Man or whatever, hence why he was shirtless in the previous screencap), Eric and Trevor go visit Vana, who has calmed down by doing light reading, knitting, and making exact replicas of the L.O.I.D.S. out of her earwax. Yeah, it should be pretty obvious that she's basically a ticking timebomb - and when Eric asks for her help, she snaps like a twig and suddenly becomes incredibly buff.

SOMEONE's been skipping Leg Day.

"THOSE ROBOTS DON'T STAND A CHANCE!" Eric shouts... only for him and his friends to learn the hard way that they do. One of the L.O.I.D.S. effortlessly ties them to a lamppost. "CURSE THESE BRUTAL MECHANICAL MARVELS!" Kitty exclaims, prompting the L.O.I.D.S. to at least give her a pillow. But what's this? The superheroes of their town have shown up to save the day! Even THEY know that robots can't replace REAL sidekicks! Hooray!

Oh, wait. Never mind. The L.O.I.D.S. tie up the superheroes too.

I want to know more about the blonde-haired cyclops girl. What's HER story?

"There's only one thing left to do!" Eric says - NOT invent yogurt shoes, like Trevor guesses, but go to the evil side of town and enlist the help of the worst supervillain the world has ever known! Who could that be? Lex Luthor? Doctor Octopus? Elon Musk?

Nope, it's this guy named XOX (Ron Rubin) - the evil alter-ego of Trevor's father. He explains that since the L.O.I.D.S. replaced all the superheroes and sidekicks and took the fun out of being bad, he decided to quit villainy and start a band! I assume his bandmates are recurring villains who appeared in other episodes of the show.

I want to know about the green-skinned muscle-bound guy on the drums, too.

Eric and the others manage to play XOX like a fiddle and get him to help them take down the L.O.I.D.S. - in turn, he enlists the help of every other supervillain in town. And so the L.O.I.D.S. are defeated and the day is saved.

Just kidding. The L.O.I.D.S. are too powerful for THEM, too.

The words "EPIC FAIL" are coming to mind...

Since the L.O.I.D.S. are unstoppable, everyone decides to pack up, leave the city and build a new one where they can continue their superhero/supervillain/sidekick thing and never speak of the L.O.I.D.S. again. Huzzah! Of course, Trevor stupidly suggests that maybe they should build robots to do their work for them. I expected everyone to slap him for being such an idiot or at least shout "NOOOOOOOOO!" at the top of their lungs, but nope, everyone starts to think it over.

So I guess this implies that they're going to do the episode over and over again - build robots, find themselves unable to defeat them, leave town and build another one, lather, rinse, repeat.

What's the Verdict?

I'm still gonna have to put Sidekick in the mediocre category. I actually think one of the segments in the previous episode I reviewed, "Match Dot Com", was better than either of the episodes I reviewed here. There's only so many times you can say that Kitty is the only likeable character or that most of the jokes (mainly the ones involving Trevor) aren't funny before the review starts to become repetitive. Good voice acting and the occasional clever gag - I particularly like how the episode ends with them abandoning the town and building another one, even if it's a bit of an anti-climax - save the show from being a complete waste of time, but I still wouldn't recommend watching it.

Incidentally, y'know how I keep saying that the show would be better if Kitty were the protagonist? According to Wikipedia and TV Tropes, she WAS originally supposed to be the protagonist. Why'd they change it? We don't even NEED Eric, Trevor and Vana - just do a show about Kitty learning how to be a sidekick at the academy and getting thrown into bizarre situations as a result. That would've been so much better!

Let's Watch This... Again: An Episode of "The Spooktacular New Adventures of Casper"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you. But please be civil in the comments.

Somebody on DeviantArt requested that I do a re-review of this show. As I've said before, I am nothing if not a people-pleaser.

For those who didn't read my first review of The Spooktacular New Adventures of Casper, it premiered in February 1996 and recieved four seasons and a total of fifty-two episodes (each one consisting of two or three segments). The show was developed by the writers of the Casper movie released the previous year, Sherri Stoner and Deanna Oliver. Taking place after the film, the show had Casper (voiced once again by by Malachi Pearson) still living in that haunted house with his obnoxious uncles Stretch (Joe Nipote), Stinky (Joe Alaskey), and Fatso (Brad Garrett in the first two seasons, then Jess Harnell in the third and fourth), ghost psychologist Dr. Harvey (Dan Castellaneta) and his daughter Kat (Kath Souice as opposed to Christina Ricci). Also along for the ride were Casper's teacher Ms. Banshee (Tress MacNeille), his cousin Spooky the Tuff Ghost (Rob Paulsen), and Spooky's girlfriend Poil (Sherry Lynn).

I didn't care much for The Spooktacular New Adventures of Casper when I first reviewed it in 2022. The episode I reviewed had Casper helping the astronauts on the Apollo 13 shuttle, scaring his uncles by playing a record of some woman singing in a foreign language (it makes just as little sense in contex), and disguising himself as a human boy. I didn't care for it. Mostly because the episode consisted mostly of pop culture references and characters being snarky. Y'know, kind of like Animaniacs, except that show had actually funny gags and heart to make up for the lame pop culture references (by the way, I know I said in my first review that the writers worked on Animaniacs, but according to IMDB only one of them aside from Sherri Stoner and Deanna Oliver, Chris Otsuki, did. My mistake). It probably doesn't help that I didn't care for the movie much when I rewatched it in 2015. But I know the show does have its fans, so I'm gonna take another look at it and see if I just happened to watch one of the weaker episodes the first time around.

I was originally going to do a review of the nineteenth episode, but it wasn't giving me enough joke material - plus, as I was typing up the review, my computer ran out of power and most of the review I'd written got erased, and I didn't feel like retyping all of it. So instead, we're watching the twenty-fifth episode of the show (the fifteenth episode of the third season). Once again, this is The Spooktacular New Adventures of Casper.

The first segment of this episode is called "Gargoils". This one focuses on Stretch, Fatso and Stinky... who, I should mention right now, are characters who I found incredibly annoying and unlikable in the movie. In fact, the only reason I probably didn't hate the previous episode I reviewed more is because they weren't in it much. So this segment's having them be the stars doesn't exactly fill me with confidence.

Anyway, the three ghosts are at some sort of ghost dating service. They want "three hot babes" for the night. "And we ain't talkin' talkin' pigs!" Fatso says, the first of what I assume will be MANY pop cutlture references in this episode. You see, they're recieving the MVS - that's the most Valuable Spook Award.

I know the Nostalgia Critic already brought this up in his review of the film, but why
do some of the ghosts have hair and clothes but Casper and his uncles don't?

So the ghost matchmaker sets Stretch, Fatso and Stinkie up with three gargoyles. NOT the ones from the beloved Disney cartoon show (note to self: review Gargoyles at some point), but these lovely ladies. One of them is, for some reason, a caricature of Rosie O'Donnell. I'm pretty sure the other two are supposed to be caricatures as well, but I'm not sure of who. One of them sounds like a bad impression of Rosie Perez, but I don't know if she ever looked like that. The third one... maybe Roseanne Barr? I don't know.

Why are they caricatures? Is the show trying to imply, by making these three celebrities into gargoyles, that they're ugly? Or is it just because celebrity caricatures are automatically hilarious or something? I'm guessing the latter.

And why WOULD somebody sculpt a gargoyle to look like Rosie O'Donnell? Gargoyles
are supposed to ward off evil spirits. I don't imagine that a lot of evil spirits would be scared
of 1990s talk show hosts...

Fatso and Stinkie lament that if they show up at the ceremony with those "pigeon potties", they'll be laughingstocks. "We'll have to go stag," Stretch says. Fatso, whose elevator doesn't go all the way to the top if you get what I mean, pulls out three literal stags.

"You'd better have a good reason for dragging us away from our reindeer games."

The gargoyles make a reference to Showgirls, because... it exists, right? Stretch, Fatso and Stinkie tell them that they can't go out with them because, uh, Fatso has chicken pox, and then fly off laughing... but the gargoyles show up at the ceremony anyway. They already had chicken pox in the sixteenth century. I didn't know gargoyles could get chicken pox. I'm learning so much today!

I guess the joke is that they're all based on celebrities with "Rose" in their name?

"If only there was a way to turn 'em into ghosts!" Fatso says. Oh, jeez, is this gonna go where I think it's going? Are they gonna try to kill the gargoyles? Is it even POSSIBLE to kill a gargoyle? It's made of stone, after all...

Fortunately, they don't attempt to commit gargocide. Instead, they tell the gargoyles that the party is a COSTUME party, so they'll have to go in disguised as ghosts. Despite how laughably bad their ghost costumes are, everybody buys it, because apparently all the ghosts at this party are as dumb as Fatso.

That's the worst Patrick Star costume I've ever seen.

(See? I can make pop culture references too. Doesn't make me funny)

Of course, their costumes wind up falling off, revealing to everyone that they're gargoyles. The ghosts are shocked and appalled by this. Ghosts are racist against gargoyles, it would seem. One unfunny sequence later, the gargoyles return to their posts and ask Stretch, Fatso and Stinkie if they can go out again sometime. Only problem is, they only come to life once a year, so they'll have to wait a while. 

All's well that ends well, right? Well, no. You see, Ms. Banshee, who seems to have some sort of on-again off-again relationship with the trio, was at the ceremony, and she's mad that they went out with somebody else. The moral of today's story, as she puts it, is that Hades knows no fury like a wraith scorned.

Next we get a commercial for an album of Ms. Banshees' Public Domain Hits. The only joke of this segment is that Mrs. Banshee screeches random lyrics of the songs she's singing. Dear lord, I hope Tress MacNeille was paid well for this role. It must've put quite a strain on her vocal cords.

I'm gonna be seeing those teeth in my nightmares.

Order now, and you will also recieve such soon-to-be-classics as "How Dry I Am - Thanks to Pampers", "Skip to My Lou Grant", and "Ring Around Rosie O'Donnell" (why are these writers so obsessed with Rosie O'Donnell?). There are only two good things about this segment. One, the announcer is Jim Cummings, which automatically makes it better. And two, as the random song names fly up the screen, they eventually start including things like "No, Really, You Think Up Some Goofy Titles!", "Is Anyone Reading This?", and "Go Read a Book or Something!". Also, the offer is prohibited in states containing vowels and is not avaliable in areas surrounding lakes. An actually funny joke? It must be my birthday!

Our third segment, "Boobsom Buddies", begins with Stretch telling Stinkie that he's "about as scary as Valerie Bertinelli". Of course the actually funny joke is immediately followed by a pop culture reference. Even if the kids watching this when it aired in 1997 knew who Valerie Bertinelli was (I didn't even know, I had to look it up!), did they actually consider this joke funny?

Casper - yes, the main character of the show is actually IN this episode - and Dr. Harvey find Stretch, Fatso and Stinkie arguing over which of them is responsible for their losing The Price is Right... oh, I mean, The Price is FRIGHT... because they weren't scary enough. Who won? Howard Stern. Is Howard Stern considered scary? Simply mentioning a celebrity is not a joke.

Casper seems exasperated by his own cartoon. I feel your pain, Casper.

"Don't you game show losers ever speak to me again!" Stretch tells Fatso and Stinkie. Then he pushes their beds out the window and announces that he's evicting them. "Can't we all just get along?" Casper asks. Well, Casper, I've spent enough time on the internet to know that, no, we can't.

So, Fatso decides to sleep in Casper's room. He keeps Casper up all night, so when Casper leaves for school the next morning, he's exhausted. On top of THAT, Stinkie decides to go to school wtih Casper. He makes a reference to Saved By the Bell because, again, it exists, so that makes it funny, right?

Isn't this more or less a painfully unfunny version of the SpongeBob episode "Naughty
Nautical Neighbors"? I know this show premiered before SpongeBob, but still...

At ghost school, Stinkie charms Ms. Banshee and douses the class with rotten milk (it's "show and smell"). All the other ghost students love Stinkie, and he announces that he's going to join Casper at school EVERY DAY, much to Casper's dismay. Then when he gets home, he finds out that STRETCH wants to hang out with him, too.

Those veins in Casper's head are even scarier than Ms. Banshee's teeth.

After talking to Dr. Harvey about the situation, Casper thinks up a way to get Stretch, Fatso and Stinkie to make up. He invites each of them to a special banquet for best firends only. Of course, when they show up, they're not pleased by the presence of the other two ghosts, and a food fight starts up while Casper attempts to make a milkshake. Then a tornado pops out of the blender for some reason and sucks everything in. When Casper turns off the blender, his uncles spill out, now blended into... this:

This whole fiasco causes the three of them to make up. All's well that ends well... except that now they're gonna go back to tormenting Casper. No good deed goes unpunished.

What's the Verdict?

Sorry, but I'm still gonna have to put The Spooktacular New Adventures of Casper in the "not worth your time" category. The best thing I can say about it is that the animation and voice acting are good. But that's not enough to make up for how painfully unfunny the show is.

Pop culture references in of themselves ARE NOT JOKES. If you're going to make them, at least have some sort of logic behind them. For instance, it wasn't funny when Mighty Max made references to The Flintstones, but if nothing else they had SOMETHING to do with what was going on: he was talking to a caveman, and The Flintstones is an iconic cartoon about cavemen. Even when I make stupid unfunny pop culture references, it's because they have something to do with what's going on in the cartoons I review. Here, they just have the characters mention Howard Stern and Valerie Bertinelli and Showgirls for seemingly no reason.

Problem number two - as the show went on, it started to focus more on Stretch, Stinkie and Fatso than Casper, and I really don't like these three as characters. They're not quite as hateable here as they are in the movie (they don't do anything as bad as, say, mocking Kat over the fact that her father turned into a ghost and she was now an orphan), but they're loud, annoying, and have most of the least funny lines. Casper himself is basically just reduced to reacting with exasperation to their antics here - basically, he's the Dr. Scratchensniff to their Yakko, Wakko and Dot.

So, no, I wouldn't recommend watching The Spooktacular New Adventures of Casper. Even if you like the movie, there's not much of substance here. As I said before, the Animaniacs style of humor can only really be pulled off by Animaniacs itself, and most attempts to ape it wind up being washes.

I should probably mention, by the way, that I wasn't really in the Halloween spirit this year at all. The first chunk of October, my family was pretty busy with my sister's wedding. And after that I still didn't really have time to do full reviews. I'm not a huge fan of Halloween in general, but this year, in particular, I really just wanted to get through the month so I could start doing reviews of non-Halloween stuff again. So my apologies if it didn't feel like my heart was in any of these October posts. I'll make up for it during the Christmas season.

Let's Watch This... Again: An Episode of "Mighty Max"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

Wow, it's been a while since I've done a re-review, hasn't it? I wonder why that is. Let's fix it...

Mighty Max, created by Mark Zaslove and Rob Hudnut, was based on a toyline that was kind of like Polly Pocket but for boys. It premiered in September 1993 as part of a syndicated children's block called "Amazing Adventures" and received two seasons and a total of forty episodes. The premise? I'm going to be lazy and copy-paste the description from my first review: a kid named Max, voiced by Rob Paulsen, gets a small statue of a bird one day in the mail. It's inscribed with Egyptian hieroglyphs that translates to, essentially, "Congratulations, kid. You're the Chosen One. Go to the mini-mall and wait for a sign." Max is so shocked that he drops the statue, and inside as it turns out was a magic baseball cap that allows Max to travel through space and time. Long story short, he winds up meeting a magic fowl named Virgil (voiced by Tony Jay) and a Viking named Norman (voiced by Richard Moll). They travel around the world defending it from such foes as brain-sucking aliens, werewolves, a giant octopus, crazy scientists, etc.

I previously reviewed the twenty-fifth episode of the show, "Tar Wars", in which Max and his compadres ventured into the La Brea tar pits and encountered a caveman and a saber-toothed tiger. I found the episode just okay. That was back in 2019, so today I'm going to review another episode of the show, this one part of the first season: the sixth episode, "Rumble in the Jungle". Will I like this one more? Let's find out!

We start off in the jungles of Africa - somewhere in the Congo, I believe - where Max's mother (Tress MacNeille) is being chased by what appear to be members of Tarzan's fan club. Eventually, they corner her in front of a large rock and carry her off, as per the orders of this gorilla watching from nearby. Who IS this strange ape?

Marvin the Martian called, he wants that thing from the top of his helmet back.

Then we cut to Max, lounging in a hammock in his backyard. So apparently Max's mother just left him at home, by himself, while she went off to Africa? I don't know how old Max is supposed to be, but even if he's a teenager, I don't think leaving him at home alone while you go to ANOTHER CONTINENT is a good idea - his father is never seen or mentioned, so apparently his mother is all he's got. Great parenting, Max's mom!

Suddenly, Max sees an airplane doing some skywriting aimed directly at him. It tells him to go to the library and "turn left at Shakespeare". I assume that somewhere in Max's town there's a street named after William Shakespeare and that's what they mean. Either that or there's a section of the library exclusively for Shakespeare's works and he has to turn left when he finds it.

"Oh, crap, I was supposed to write 'SURRENDER DOROTHY', wasn't I? Ah well,
I'm sure the Wicked Witch will understand..."

We never actually see Max at the library, however, we just cut to him being spit out of a portal in the middle of a Roman colosseum. Virgil and Norman are there too, and Virgil tells Max that his mother is in a "great deal of jeopardy"... according to some scrolls he's reading, that is.

"This scroll says that our show is going to fall into obscurity after it's taken off the air
in 1994. We won't even get a DVD release!"

So off Max, Virgil, and Norman head to the Congo, which is apparently very close to Rome seeing as they're able to get there pretty quickly. Unfortunately, the path they're crossing gives way and they fall into the brush below. After that, they find an abandoned jeep, with a tank still full of gas AND the keys still in the ignition. "This reeks of foul play," Virgil claims. Seeing as you're a bird, shouldn't that actually be "FOWL play"?

Please laugh. I'm trying so hard...

Sorry, Max, you're too young to have a driver's license. I think. I still have no idea
what age you're supposed to be.

Then those George of the Jungle cosplayers we saw chasing Max's mother before show up again and give chase. Max momentarily calms them down with the power of rock 'n' roll (good thing he brought his handheld radio), but then that gorilla in Roman duds shows up again in a zebra-pulled chariot and says in the voice of Dr. Claw that rock 'n' roll is the work of evil spirits. "Must prefer Sinatra," Max mutters. Actually, I think a gorilla's favorite genre of music is swing. Get it? 'Cause they're always swinging on vines? At least in cartoons?

...that was at least sort of funny, right?

A screencap from that cult classic, King Kong vs. Emperor Nero.

Fortunately, my jokes aren't the worst ones here: Norman then randomly chuckles and says, "Monkey see, monkey DO." Apparently, he needs to read up on his primate facts, because as we all know, gorillas are APES, not monkeys. Max, Virgil, and Norman make a run for it, the gorillas and cavemen in hot pursuit, eventually diving into a river to get away. But because it's a river in something animated, it leads to... let's see if you can guess. Is it..

A) A waterfall

B) A gift shop

OR C) The house of Max's weird uncle who collects dirt in jars?

If you guessed B or C, I think you need to watch more cartoons...

And why don't people ever put signs in front of rivers reading "WARNING: THIS RIVER LEADS
TO A WATERFALL. DO NOT SWIM IN IT" or something like that?

Over the falls they go, pleasing the Dr. Claw-voiced gorilla. Of course, as soon as the simians leave they emerge from the water, and Virgil suggests that perhaps Max's mother had the misfortune of running into the gorillas as well. "Let's make like an ape and follow them before they get away!" Max says, and they wind up following them to this charming place:

"This is AMAZING! A whole alternate gorilla civilization!" Virgil clucks. "How extraordinary!" Sneaking inside, they discover that the caveman are the gorillas' slaves, forcing them to build things and tying them to posts when they do things to make them mad.

Wait a minute... intelligent anthropomorphic gorillas enslaving primitive humans? I think it's pretty obvious what science fiction movie this episode was inspired by...

Spoiler alert, Max: it was Earth all along! Those maniacs, they blew up the Statue of Liberty! Darn them! Darn them all to Heck!

"I wanna know...
Can you show me?
I wanna know about these strangers like me..."

One of the cavemen shows Max where his mother is - locked in a cell, having to deal with mosquitos. But before they can get them out, the gorillas show up and the leader is all "OH NO YOU DON'T!".

Considering how many pop culture references Max made in "Tar Wars", I fully expect
him to make a Planet of the Apes reference himself at some point.

The gorillas take them to the alpha male of the pack, voiced by Jim Cummings, who does not believe their claims that they come from "beyond the valley". The one in Roman gladiator garb insists that Max and his crew "bring evil thoughts" and that they must be eliminated. "Might doesn't always make right, Bonzo!" Max snaps (for those unaware, this is a reference to the 1950s film about a chimpanzee Bedtime For Bonzo). "We can do things in our world you guys never even DREAMED OF!" For example, they have telephones and laws and airplanes. On the other hand, the gorillas don't have Twitter. Or Discord. So who's better off?

"They bring evil sorcery! They must be destroyed before their words and deeds harm us!" the roman gladiator gorilla declares. The alpha male, however, isn't sure what to think, so he tells them to just lock Max, his mom, Virgil, and Norman up until he makes his decision.

So when does he start singing "I Wanna Be Like You"?

The good guys are able to escape their cell with ease, then Norman gets to quench his thirst for violence by attacking the gorilla guarding it. Then they run into that caveman who helped them before. He gives Max a rock, which as Maxine can tell you make great gifts. In return, Max gives the caveman a comb. "Gee, I hope this doesn't mean we're engaged or anything..." he says, the first line out of his mouth that I actually find funny.

But as they're trying to escape, a gorilla spots them and sounds the alarm. It seems like the gorillas have them trapped... even though one of them is a big, strong Viking who effortlessly plowed through a bunch of the apes just a few seconds ago, but seeing them gives the primitive human slaves the determination to rise up against their gorilla captors, pelting them with rocks and stuff. Is this what they call "gorilla warfare"? Ba-dum kssssh.

"If you have any poo, fling it NOW!"

Eventually, Norman manages to topple over the giant stone gorilla head on top of the temple they're standing on, sending it falling down onto the apes, but even THAT isn't enough to take them out. Geez, I know gorillas are strong, but they're not made of iron. Fortunately, the alpha male shows up and tells everyone to knock it off - but he's still going to have the good guys executed. Max insists that if they just let them leave, they'll never return to the Kingdom of the Apes, but the roman gladiator gorilla... y'know what, since they never mentioned this guy's name, I'm going to call him Larry... doesn't believe there is anywhere outside the kingdom for them to go. "It was only twenty to one! You wouldn't be so tough by yourself!" Max tells him. "Fair enough!" Larry snaps. "I'll fight YOU!" Dang it, Max, what have you gotten yourself into?

"C'mon, couldn't we settle this over a tall frothy glass of Um Bongo? They drink it in the
Congo, don't they?

Max knows that he's no match for, as Virgil puts it, a bloodthirsty eight-hundred-pound gorilla wanting to tear him limb from limb, but don't worry, he has a plan. He asks Virgil for their "portal map", and as soon as Virgil hands it to him, he... makes a run for it. Did he really need the portal map to do that? Well, anyway, he finds the jeep from before and drives off in it, but Larry still manages to catch up. Fortunately, the portal map tells him where to find a portal he can send Larry through.

When Max returns, the alpha male offers to let him take the throne, but Max says he just wants to head home and get a pizza. And for the gorillas to treat the cavemen as equals. The alpha male agrees. Huzzah!

Oh, and in case you're wondering where the portal send Larry to... well, it's SOMEWHERE in the middle of the desert, we know THAT. My headcanon is that it's what eventually became the actual Planet of the Apes. This was a prequel the whole time.

"Dang it, I forgot to TiVo my soap operas..."

When Max gets home, he tells the audience about gorillas and how they're the largest primates on earth. Did you know that there are only 50,000 lowland gorillas and only 320 mountain gorillas left in the whole world... not counting his Aunt Matilda, of course (I hope his mom didn't hear him say that)? "Always do what you can to help the world's wildlife," he tells us. Unless they're anthropomorphic warriors who enslave cavemen and want to have you executed, of course.

What's the Verdict?

I personally liked this episode of Mighty Max better than "Tar Wars". Max was a lot less annoying (I actually found a couple of his quips funny!) and there were a lot less pop culture references. I'm shocked they resisted the urge to make a Planet of the Apes joke. Plus, this episode has Jim Cummings lending his voice to it, and you know what a big fan of him I am. I do wish Virgil had a bit more to do, because he's pretty awesome, and I would've liked some sort of explanation as to how this tribe of anthropomorphic gorillas actually got started... why did these gorillas evolve but seemingly no other jungle animals did? Why are the humans still primitive cavemen?

If you'd like to watch Mighty Max for yourself, you can find episodes on YouTube in varying quality. Apparently, there wasn't ever a DVD release and I don't think it's on any streaming platforms, so that's the only way you can watch it right now. Enjoy.

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