Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Mucha Lucha!"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

This is one of those cartoons that I've probably taken waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long to do a review of. Like, really? I got to Super Duper Sumos before this one?

Mucha Lucha! is the creation of Eddie Mort and Lili Chin for Warner Bros. Animation. It aired on The WB's Kids WB block from August 17th, 2002 to February 26th, 2005, receiving three seasons and fifty-two episodes in all. There was also a direct-to-video film made in-between the second and third seasons. Perhaps the show's biggest claim to fame is that it was one of the first cartoons to be made using Flash.

The show takes place in Luchaville, a town in California (not an actual place, obviously) where everyone is obsessed with the sport... at least I think it's a sport... known as lucha libre. For those unaware, lucha libre is basically the Mexican version of professional wrestling, the main difference being that everybody wears a colorful costume. Our main characters - Rikochet (voiced by Carlos Alazraqui for the first two seasons, with Jason Marsden taking over in Season 3 because Carlos was too busy working on Reno 911), Buena Girl (voiced by Kimberly Brooks), and The Flea (voiced by Candi Milo) - attend the Foremost World-Renowned International School of Lucha, where they study to become Luchadores.

I remember hearing about Mucha Lucha!, I'm pretty sure I saw a few ads for it, but I never actually watched the show. I never watched much Kids' WB in general, I can only remember watching it ONCE and that was at my cousins' beach house. It does have a cult following, though, so who knows? Maybe I'll like it.

We're going to watch the show's sixteenth episode (the third episode of the second season). This is Mucha Lucha!.

The first segment, "Nightmare on Lucha Street", begins on a dark, spooky night. Rikochet has found himself in a strange neighborhood where the sky is crimson, the sidewalk has a mind of its own, and a bizarre genie-like monster won't leave him alone.

There are even pop-up ads for Camp Lazlo appearing at random!

The green-skinned being desperately in need of a manicure introduces himself as Misterioso Grande, lucha lord of the dream world. He wants Rikochet's mask for his collection. I hope the indication here is that he just STEALS other lucha wrestlers' masks instead of, like, EATING them and just having the masks as a trophy. Rikochet won't hand his mask over without a fight, but someone who can shapeshift into anything like Misterioso makes for a very difficult foe.

"Perhaps you'd like to see how ssssssssssssssssssssSNAKE-LIKE I CAN BEEEEEEEEEE!"

Only one thing can defeat Misterioso - an alarm clock! Rikochet wakes up and is relieved that the whole experience was just a dream. His sentient action figure El Rey (Michael Donovan)... yes, there's a toy that's alive in this world, just go with it... tells him to get up so he can use his bed to test out his new wrestling move, the Flaming Garbage Toss.

He sleeps with his mask on? I know lucha is a way of life in this show, but that seems
kind of strange...

At the Foremost World-Renowned International School of Lucha, Rikochet learns from the Headmistress (also Candi Milo) that another student, Penny Plutonium (Tabitha St. Germain), has not been in school for two days. So she sends Rikochet, Buena Girl, and The Flea to see why that is.

The Headmistress is disturbing to look at. I'll be honest, I don't like when cartoon characters have exposed brains. There's a reason why Mojo Jojo always wears a helmet.

I know in this case it's not actually her brain showing, it's just a mask... at
least I think it's just a mask, I could be wrong... but it still grosses me out.

So, why has Penny been absent? It's not because her Uncle Gadget needs her help, but rather, because she had a nightmare about Misterioso Grande, and when she woke up, her mask was missing. The Flea has also heard of Misterioso - "He rules the Realm of Dreams! Which is next to the Land of Napping, and Slumberland-adjacient," he explains. If Misterioso Grande takes your mask in the dream world, you don't have it in the real world.

Fortunately, Penny's dad has been working on a dream machine that can send someone into the Realm of Dreams. Rikochet declares that he will use it to save Penny's mask. How does the machine work? Well, you sit in it, and it gives you a stuffed animal, a nightcap, a mobile, and a glass of warm milk. Then it hypnotizes you with a wheel of spinning sheep. So, really, Rikochet could've just waited until he fell asleep that night to get Penny's mask back, but eh...

"Repeat after me: you will not buy a Serta mattress. You will not put us sheep out of
a job..."

Penny's father also has a monitor that allows them to see and speak to Rikochet in the Realm of Dreams. Rikochet runs into Misterioso Grande rather quickly and demands that he return Penny's mask or face his wrath. But Misterioso, again, is a shapeshifter, and defeating a shapeshifter isn't easy. As I recall, Puss in Boots managed to defeat that shapeshifting ogre by getting him to turn into a mouse and then eating him. Perhaps Rikochet just has to trick Misterioso into turning into a taco or something.

In hindsight, maybe somebody else should've entered the Dream Realm WITH Rikochet?

"You're in a dream! You can do anything you want!" Buena Girl points out to Rikochet. "Let your imagination run free, and your subconsious will find a way to defeat Misterioso Grande!" So Rikochet dreams himself some Plastic Man powers...

"Hammer time!"

Using his imagination, Rikochet battles Misterioso, eventually defeating him by turning into a giant tidal wave (everybody knows that water is a dream-controlling monster's only weakness). Penny gets her mask back, and Misterioso is banished to the Netheregions. Upon leaving the Dream Realm, Rikochet gives a speech about how he defeated Misterioso by turning the nightmare into a sweet dream, and there's nothing as sweet as victory. Penny gives him a smooch on the forehead...

Do we ever see Rikochet without his mask on? I'm imagining that his forehead is
incredibly large. Like, as big as Megamind's.

The segment ends with The Flea being scared off by Penny's dog, who has either been possessed by Misterioso or decided to dress like him for the fun of it. Next segment!

It's the first day of school... just ignore the fact that the characters were shown in school in the previous episode... and unlike every other student on the planet, Buena Girl is very happy. She LOVES the first day of school because everything is so clean and shiny and new. I don't recall everything being clean and shiny on any of MY first days of school. Maybe I was too annoyed by summer vacation being over to notice?

And what is The Flea doing on the first day of school? Eating garbage. As one does.

Ew, has somebody been using the garbage can as a toilet? What else could that brown
glop be?

The garbage doesn't agree with The Flea's digestive system, and he quickly has to go to the bathroom. Problem is, ever since he fought a character called the Masked Toilet in a previous episode, The Flea has been afraid of bathrooms. Have you ever been in a school bathroom? I really don't blame him. I mean, they're not port-a-potty levels of disgusting, but they can be pretty gross.

But while he's in the bathroom, before he can take a dump, The Flea is suddenly ambushed by the Masked Toilet! Of course, as soon as Rikochet and Buena Girl run in, the Masked Toilet has vanished, so they don't believe The Flea when he tells them. Oh boy, it's one of THOSE episodes. Y'know, where one character keeps seeing something spooky but nobody else sees it whenever they try to show them, so the other characters just think the one character who does see it is crazy? Every cartoon needs to do an episode like that at SOME point, I guess...

I gotta say, it was very bold of that kid on the right to base his lucha persona off of
Keo from Yakkity Yak.

But then another student, this one dressed as a scarecrow, encounters the Masked Toilet in the bathroom as well! The Flea ISN'T crazy after all!

Well, maybe he still is. But he was right about the Masked Toilet!

All the other students in the school try to fight the Masked Toilet, but get their clocks cleaned. Wow, these kids must really suck at being lucha fighters if they're getting clobbered by a sentient urinal. What on Earth is this school teaching them? Eventually, the Masked Toilet gives The Flea a message challenging him to a "Full Flush Elimination Match". How does the toilet write without hands? The world may never know.

"P.S.: Your costume makes you look more like a bunny rabbit than a flea."

"A true luchador never runs from a challenge!" Buena Girl tells The Flea. "So LET US GET TRAINING!" First, she shows The Flea and Rikochet a new move she's created allowing her to turn into a plunger. So she has shapeshifting powers now too? And so does Rikochet, it seems, because he turns into a spring. What sort of witchcraft IS this?

"Noooooooooooooo springs! Hee hee hee hee hee!"

Training doesn't go so well (among other things, The Flea winds up with his head stuck in the training dummy toilet!), so I'm not filled with confidence regarding The Flea's ability to fight the Masked Toilet. Maybe he should call a plumber. Are the Mario Brothers avaliable?

And, sure enough...

So, just a recap, everybody: scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock smashes scissors, toilet pummels flea, and tidal wave clobbers green-skinned shapeshifter.

Eventually, however, The Flea finds the key to victory: his bowel movements! He... well, it's not shown what he does, but whatever it is, it's pretty disgusting. He wins the fight, but the episode ends with him making another enemy: the Masked Pencil Sharpener!

What's the Verdict?

Mucha Lucha! is kind of like El Tigre in that the fun mostly comes from how over-the-top it is. Sure, the characters aren't super-interesting, but they're likeable enough. The animation is... well, typical 2000s Flash, but I've seen far worse. The jokes... every so often there's a chuckle-worthy moment, but a lot of them fall flat. I think my biggest complaint is that we don't get enough time in the first segment to watch Rikochet deal with the dream realm, so his fight with Misterioso feels rushed. By contrast, the second segment with the Masked Toilet seems longer than it should be - you could've trimmed the training stuff, at least. Still, it's a show where a recurring villain is a SENTIENT TOILET WEARING A LUCHADORE MASK. It's just so out there that it's hard not to be charmed by it.

So all in all, it's not a GREAT show, but I found it fine for what it was. You don't even have to be a fan of lucha libre to enjoy it.

Rating: Three and a half masks out of five. Mucha entertaining.

And now, a word from our sponsor. This review has been brought to you by...

Isn't it so frustrating when you order something, or are expecting a package from somebody you know, and it takes forever to arrive? You wait and you wait and you wait... what's taking it so long? Sure, the folks at UPS are doing their best to get it there, but they're only human. Human beings aren't known for their speed.

We at Speedy Gonzales Delivery, on the other hand, ARE known for our speed. The fastest mouse in all of Mexico will get your package to you in the blink of an eye. Or at least in a few minutes. Seven, tops. You'll be amazed at how quickly it's on your doorstep. But don't take OUR word for it. Here are a few comments from satisfied customers...

"Narf! I ordered a gift for my friend Brain on Monday night and Speedy Gonzales had it delivered to us before we could even start Brain's newest plan to take over the world! Thanks, Speedy Gonzales Delivery! Poit!"
- Pinky the Mouse,
ACME Labs

"Those new weapons I ordered from stuffninjasuse.com got here in just five seconds thanks to Speedy Gonzales Delivery. Not only was I pleased, but my sons Raphael, Michelangelo, Leonardo, and Donatello were as well. I highly recommend trusting them with your package."
- Master Splinter,
The Sewers of New York City

"Not only were my books delivered mere seconds after I'd ordered them, but they were in great condition too!"
- Geronimo Stilton,
New Mouse City (not to be confused with New YORK City) 

Speedy Gonzales Delivery: when it absolutely, positively has to be there ahora mismo.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Jackie Chan Adventures"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

Ohhhhhhh yeah. This one has been on my "to review" list for a long time.

Jackie Chan Adventures is probably the most well-known of cartoons that star a celebrity as themselves, although in this case, while Jackie Chan acted as an executive producer and appeared in some live action segments on the show, he didn't voice his animated counterpart - James Sie, who has since voice-matched Jackie as Monkey in Kung Fu Panda stuff, did. The show premiered on The WB as part of their Kids' WB block on September 9th, 2000 and ran for five seasons. TV Tropes describes the show as being "chock full of creative set pieces and physical comedy, just like a live action Jackie Chan film". I'll have to take their word for it because I've never actually seen any live action Jackie Chan films (I know, I know...).

In the show, Jackie Chan is not an actor but a professional archaeologist, though he's still gifted in martial arts. He lives in a world where magic and supernatural forces exist, but are unknown to much of humanity - including him, until he finds a magical talisman sought out by a criminal organization called The Dark Hand. Why do they want it? Because they're gonna use it to unleash an ancient demon dragon named Shendu (also James Sie) onto the world so he'll give them the treasure of Qin Shi Huangdi. Natch. Jackie is contacted by a government organization called "Section 13", led by his friend Captain Black, and they spend the series trying to stay one step ahead from The Dark Hand. Also along for the ride are Jack's uncle simply called Uncle (Sab Shimono) and his reckless eight-year-old niece Jade (Stacie Chan).

So it was basically just five seasons of Jackie Chan and his relatives running around trying to find magical artifacts before some evil person got their hands on them first. I'm not sure how big of a fanbase the show has nowadays, but it was clearly popular enough to get five seasons. As for me, I never watched it. At least I don't THINK I ever did. I never watched much of Kids' WB, I don't know if we even had that channel. But what luck, you can now find the show on Tubi, which means I can watch an episode and see if Jackie Chan Adventures is just as good as you'd expect a cartoon show starring, y'know, Jackie Chan to be. Apparently the first season is considered the show's best, so I'll watch an episode from that one - how about the fifth episode, "Shell Game"? This is Jackie Chan Adventures!

The episode begins on a tropical island not too far away from the Coloring Between the Lines is For Chumps Mountains...

I know it's a stylistic choice, I'm just making a joke...

...where two guys named Nelson and Andrews find a tortoise. Nelson notices something encrusted onto the tortoise's shell - a strange abstract carving of a rabbit. What could it mean?

Well, before we find out, we are treated to the show's intro. Something neat about it is that the animated Jackie Chan keeps turning into the actual live action Jackie Chan for a second. It does kind of highlight how little Jackie's animated counterpart looks like him, but it's still a pretty neat effect.

Now I'm wondering what it would be like if Jackie Chan became the new host of Blue's
Clues. My mind goes to weird places sometimes...

After the theme song, we see Jackie teaching Jade what I think is tai chi but I don't know for sure because I'm not exactly an expert on martial arts. Although I did take karate lessons when I was little. I don't think I've ever actually had to USE karate since I took those lessons, but I figured that was worth mentioning.

Jade doesn't really understand what tai chi or whatever martial art they're doing is and just wants to learn how to be a lean mean fighting machine. "Don't be in such a hurry," Jackie tells her. "Slow and steady wins the race." He starts to tell her the story of The Tortoise and the Hare, but she's not in the mood to listen to one of Aesop's Fables.

I know I've brought this up before, but... have you ever noticed that the moral of The Tortoise and the Hare isn't exactly "slow and steady wins the race"? The tortoise wins not because he's slow and steady but rather because the hare decides to take a nap in the middle of the race, thinking that since he's so fast he can nap and STILL beat the tortoise. So really, the moral's not "slow and steady wins the race", it's "don't be cocky and take a nap during a footrace, idiot".

Apparently, Jade is based on Jackie's actual nieces. I don't know if any of them
are actually named Jade, though.

While eating breakfast, Jade sees a report on TV about that tortoise from the beginning of the episode, who has been given the name Aesop (get it?). He's the star of the new Galapagos Island exhibit at the Bay Aquarium.

This show takes place in San Francisco. I've never been there, so I don't know
if their aquarium has a tortoise (I checked their website, they don't mention it at all).

The report also mentions the little rabbit carving embedded in Aesop's shell. Nobody is quite sure what it is, or why it's there. But Jade knows what it is - a talisman. You see, the talismans they're looking for in the show are all based on animals in the Chinese zodiac: there's a rooster, an ox, a snake, etc. This kind of messes up the "Tortoise and the Hare" thing they're going for, because hares aren't featured in the Chinese zodiac, whereas rabbits ARE. But most people seem to assume that rabbits and hares are the same thing anyhow (the hare, to quote Wallace from Wallace and Gromit, is a much larger mammal).

Maybe it's some sort of subtle advertisement for Nesquik?

Jade tells Jackie that she saw a talisman on the tortoise's shell, and Jackie points out that there's a rabbit in the Chinese zodiac. Clearly this situation calls for some investigation.

We then cut to The Dark Hand's eeeeeeeeeeeeevil headquarters, where the organization's leader, Valmont (Julian Sands), walks in on another member, Finn (Adam Baldwin), channel-surfing. He spots the very same report about the tortoise on TV and makes a call on his cell phone. Uh oh, looks like Jackie's gonna have some competition for getting his hands on that talisman...

What are those little lines under Valmont's eyes supposed to be? It kind of looks like
he's wearing eyeliner.

Then we see Jade in school, and because she isn't paying attention, her teacher decides to give her an extra credit assignment. Don't most students who aren't paying attention just get sent to the principal's office or something? Well, anyway, she's nice enough to let Jade choose the topic herself, and you know she's gonna use that as an excuse to join Jackie in his investigation. Sure enough...

Is it just me, or does animated Jackie Chan kind of look like Dave from Alvin and the Chipmunks?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand now I'm imagining an Alvin and the Chipmunks adaptation with Jackie Chan
as Dave. Like I said, my mind goes to weird places sometimes.

"There really is a talisman on the tortoise. And if you saw it on TV, we can bet The Dark Hand did too!" Jackie points out. Jade is skeptical, but guess who shows up? Members of The Dark Hand, of course!

From left to right, we have Finn (the red-haired one), Tohru (the big and muscular one, voiced by Noah Nelson), Ratso (the Frankenstein's Monster-looking one, voiced by Clancy Brown), and... I'm honestly not sure what the name of the buff guy with the skin tan and the sunglasses is. So I'm just gonna call him Mort.

Maybe they're not here to get the talisman. Maybe they just wanted to visit the aquarium.
Maybe they just really like fish.

Of course we get a pretty cool fight scene, but despite Jackie and Jade's best efforts, the bad guys manage to leave with the tortoise. Hopefully they just want to remove the talisman and then let the tortoise go. I'd prefer if no reptiles were harmed in the making of this episode. Also, there's a shark.

No, no, Jackie, it's just "jumping the shark". Not "jumping OFF the shark".

The bad guys carry the tortoise onto a plane waiting for them outside - except for Ratso, who has an octopus stuck on his head and is trying to get it off. Instead of trying to get some answers out of him, Jackie brings up the "slow and steady" thing again, much to Jade's frustration.

Back at The Dark Hand headquarters, Valmont is talking to Shendu, who at this point in the show is stuck inside a statue mounted to the wall. He complains to Shendu about how expensive all of these talisman-hunting schemes are and how he's not making any money from it. "Patience, Valmont... slow and steady wins the race..." Shendu hisses. So, let me guess - the moral of this episode is going to be about brushing your teeth twice a day, right?

"I swear, if I have to hear one more idiot ask you, 'Hey, where'd you get that ugly thing
hanging up on your wall?', I'm going to go berserk."

On the plane, Tohru manages to pry the talisman off the tortoise's shell, and Finn calls Valmont up to tell him that. When Valmont finds out that they have the tortoise with them, he says, "Prepare for a detour. I have an acquaintence that I'm certain will pay top dollar for our endangered friend." Then Finn gets a call from Ratso and tells him that they'll pick him up. As for Jackie, he manages to get rid of Jade by tricking her into getting into a taxi with Uncle. Ha ha, Jade, you just got PUNKED!

"I'll show him! I'm going to take a dump in his car!"

Fortunately for Jade, Uncle is a few French fries short of a Happy Meal, so she can trick him into thinking that she's been possessed by the "ruler of the rabbit realm" and that she must fulfill her destiny so he should release her at once. Quick question: where exactly are Jade's parents? Do they know their daughter is getting involved in these dangerous missions with Jackie? Is this ever addressed?

Jackie follows Ratso to a dock where the other bad guys are waiting for him. That acquaintance of Valmont's is there, too - Dr. Carl Nevour, and what does he plan on doing with the tortoise? Eating it. You've heard of turtle soup, haven't you? Yes, apparently some people eat tortoise. I do not know what it takes like, and I plan to never find out... I have made a vow to never eat any kind of animal that I haven't already eaten (pig, cow, chicken, and turkey). I don't care how bison tastes, they're way too cool an animal to be eaten.

That tortoise seems oddly happy for someone who's about to get eaten.

Jackie wants to go after the Dark Hand guys, but Jade doesn't want to leave Aesop to become an entree. "You're okay with letting something that looks just like Uncle get eaten?!" she claims. Their argument is interrupted by Tohru overhearing Jackie's voice, and we get another fight scene. Long story short, Jackie gets his hands on the talisman... for about five seconds. Then Tohru grabs it back.

"Careful! That one, uh, turns you into a chocolate bunny!" Jackie tells Tohru. And since he put THAT mental image in my head...

I'm gonna be honest: what I did here was Photoshop a picture of Tohru's head onto clipart
of a chocolate bunny and then trace it. I tried drawing it myself, but it was too hard.

How fitting that I'm reviewing this episode in April.

What the talisman ACTUALLY does, it turns out, is give somebody super-speed. Now Tohru is a regular Lightning McQueen. Brawn AND super-speed, what a dangerous combination.

"GOTTA GO FAST!
GOTTA GO FAST!
GOTTA GO FASTER, FASTER, FASTER, FASTER, FASTER!"

Jackie manages to defeat Tohru by knocking over a barrel of oil and letting him slip on it, sending him flying into the plane, which the others have already boarded, and knocking it over into the sea. Now Jackie has the talisman! Huzzah!

Meanwhile, Jade has snuck aboard Carl Nevour's ship. Now she just has to figure out how she's going to save a very heavy tortoise without Carl or his chef finding out. Alas, her best plan is to point at Carl, demand that he release Aesop, and call him a "tortoise-eating creep". Uh oh, I think I know where this is going. Is Carl gonna go all Hannibal Lecter and eat JADE too? Is he a cannibal? I honestly wouldn't be surprised...

"I'll have her liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti."

Believe it or not, he actually DOES say that he's going to eat her... but then reveals that he's just joking. Children are much too common for his "sophisticated palate". For a second, I was worried that he was going to use her as bait to lure Jackie to the boat so he could cook and eat HIM instead, but instead he just tells his chef to lock her up and get dinner on the table.

Jackie uses the talisman to become so fast he can actually RUN ON WATER, allowing him to run to the ship and save Jade. With this new ability, he locks the chef in the very same cell that Jade was previously locked up in. As for Shendu, he is not pleased to discover that Valmont and his goons do not have the talisman and summons ninjas to get it.

If only that tortoise was a ninja, too. And a teenager. And a mutant.

Jackie fights the ninjas using speed and cooking spices, and while he's doing that, Jade leads the tortoise out of the kitchen with carrots. But d'oh, Carl catches her in the act. Jade makes a reference to Bugs Bunny (this show DID air on The WB, after all), and then Jackie accidentally drops the talisman, and it rolls over to her, allowing her to pick it up and put it back in the tortoise's shell. Oh, look. Now the TORTOISE has super-speed. It's funny because tortoises are a slow animal.

"Eat your heart out, Turbo!"

Thanks to Aesop's now being the fastest thing alive, he, Jackie, and Jade manage to escape the ship, leaving Carl to deal with the ninjas. The day is saved!

The episode ends with a live action segment where Jackie Chan talks about how much he loves TV. Considering that this is a TV show, I feel like this is some sort of propaganda...

What's the Verdict?

So, that's Jackie Chan Adventures, and it's another show I found just okay. The animation is decent, the voice actors all do a good job, the characters are likeable enough (Jade can be a bit much, but I stomach her fine for the most part), the fight scenes are cool, and the jokes are at least sort of funny. Honestly, I'm not sure the show really needed to star an animated Jackie Chan... aside from being good at martial arts, the main character's being Jackie Chan didn't have much bearing on the show's plot at all. I feel like you could've just made him a brand new character just INSPIRED by Jackie Chan and not much would have changed. Granted, having him be Jackie Chan probably helped draw peoples' attention to the show more than it would have if it had been an original character... I dunno, as a whole, I think the show is fine for what it is.

This review has been brought to you by...

Need a carpet? Well, you're in luck. As you probably know, Agrabah is known for its fine selection of floor coverings. At Aladdin's Magic Carpets and Rugs, you'll find all sorts of carpets, rugs, and mats that'll make your home just a bit more stylish. Houseguests will "ooh" and "aah" at how nice the floor looks after you buy a carpet from Aladdin's Magic Carpets and Rugs.

But wait, there's more! These carpets, rugs, and mats can also FLY! Which means that not only will your floor look nice, but you can also save on gas prices and just fly on your carpet to wherever you want to go!

Aladdin's Magic Carpets and Rugs: let us show you a whole new world... of floor coverings.

Let's Watch This... Again: An Episode of "Loonatics Unleashed"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

I'm really not sure why I bother with these re-reviews. The second episodes of Ned's Newt and My Gym Partner's a Monkey that I reviewed weren't any better than the ones I reviewed the first time, so why should I expect Loonatics Unleashed to be any better the second time around?

That being said, I know that this... strange little piece of Looney Tunes history does have its fans (or at least it did at one point), and as we've established it's not completely fair to judge a show based on one episode. To fully judge if a show is bad, you need to watch at least TWO episodes of it (or four, if it's one of those shows where each episode is two segments). So here we go again...

For those of you who never read my previous review of the show, Loonatics Unleashed came to be when Looney Tunes Back in Action underperformed because it was given a crappy release date against other family movies, some good (Brother Bear) and some bad (the live action Cat in the Hat. No, I don't know why that did better than Looney Tunes Back in Action either), and poorly advertised. Warner Bros., for some inexplicable reason, came to the conclusion that the film didn't do better because people didn't like the Looney Tunes anymore. What to do? Well, the same year that Looney Tunes Back in Action came out, Teen Titans premiered on Cartoon Network. And since everybody loved Teen Titans, somebody got an idea: "What if we did a Teen Titans knockoff with Looney Tunes characters?".

I can name several reasons why doing a Teen Titans-esque action cartoon with Looney Tunes characters - or rather, their descendants - is a dumb idea. It's like putting Rocky and Bullwinkle in Gargoyles or something. But Warner Bros. did it, and 2005 saw the premiere of Loonatics Unleashed on Kids' WB. Even before the show came out, the world took one look at it and said "This looks stupid." Two seasons were made before the show got the axe in 2007. Since then, the Loonatics have only popped up to be made fun of in shows like Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Production and the Animaniacs reboot.

According to TV Tropes, the show had a chaotic production schedule - animator Chris Duncan complained that they had to finish an episode in just one week, whereas showrunner Ron Myrick said that the art directors somehow believed that they were in charge of the show and demanded that Warner Bros. let them be as dark as possible for a Saturday morning cartoon. This might have contributed to the show only receiving twenty-six episodes.

Okay, so what's the plot of the show? Well, in the year 2772, the planet of Acmetropolis gets a meteor thrown its way, and the meteor releases waves of supernatural energy that cause six random teenagers to gain superpowers. Those teenagers are...

- Bugs Bunny's descendant Ace Bunny (voiced by Charlie Schlatter), who's basically what happens when you stick Bugs and Sonic the Hedgehog in a blender and suck out all the charm.
- Danger Duck (Jason Marsden), Daffy Duck's descendant who's literally just Daffy in all but name.
- Slam Tasmanian (Kevin Michael Richardson), who is the Tasmanian Devil. That's it.
- Lexi Bunny (Jessica DiCicco), the descendant of Lola Bunny... who for some reason is not related to Ace at all, even though logically, if Ace is Bugs' descendant and Lexi is Lola's, then the only possible explanation for their existence is that Bugs and Lola had children... unless Lexi isn't actually Lola's descendant but rather just a clone of her...
- Tech E. Coyote (also Kevin Michael Richardson), Wile E. Coyote's descendant and the smart guy of the team, and the only character I recall kind of liking.
- Rev Runner (Rob Paulsen), the Road Runner's descendant. Unlike the Road Runner, he speaks English, his shtick is that he talks really fast, but he's fortunately not nearly as annoying as other characters who talk really fast (coughcoughPinkiePiecoughcough).

In the first season, the Loonatics themselves were five of the only six characters who had anything to do with Looney Tunes - the sixth being a Foghorn Leghorn-esque guy named Mr. Leghorn (if he's meant to be Foghorn's descendant, does that mean Foghorn married a human being?!). The second season fixed this by bringing in descendants or knockoffs of other Looney Tunes characters like Porky Pig, Sylvester and Tweety, and Yosemite Sam, as well as throwing in more nods to the franchise's history and some more jokes. Did this improve the show at all? Well, today we'll be watching the seventh episode of the show's second season (and the twentieth episode overall), "The Hunter", to find out. This is Loonatics Unleashed - take two.

The episode starts off with an Acmetropolis "Intergalactic Prison Ship" blowing up, followed by one of the smaller ships on it that look like handheld vacuum cleaners flying off towards the planet. Quick question, are we supposed to assume that Acmetropolis is the same thing as Earth? Or is it actually the Save-Ums' planet? Oh, no, did the Save-Ums go extinct because of that meteor?!

I feel like this is what Earth is eventually going to look like if we keep polluting it. Why hasn't
anybody listened to the Lorax?

The spaceship lands above the Acmetropolis Museum, and out falls a previous Loonatics Unleashed villain, Massive (originally voiced by Michael Clarke Duncan but now voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson). He's a-yearnin' to do some destruction - and steal a few paintings, presumably because he's a connessiuer of the fine arts.

Fortunately, who should show up but Ace, Danger, Tech, and Slam. Massive blasts Danger, because Danger's being the Daffy equivalent means that he must fill the role of "character who gets put through the wringer despite doing very little to deserve it aside from being arrogant" that Daffy usually filled in 2000s Looney Tunes productions (see also Duck Dodgers in Attack of the Drones, where Daffy does nothing wrong and gets violently punished for it). Though Danger does wind up knocking into Ace and sending them both flying off a building, so at least he's not the only one taking his lumps.

Okay, so which Looney Tunes character is THIS guy the descendant of? Don't tell me,
I wanna guess it... Gossamer?

After taking out the other Loonatics (where are Lexi and Rev, by the way?), Ace zaps Massive with his laser beam eyes. I wonder, does shooting laser beams from your eyeballs hurt? "Well, Mr. Big and Tall, looks like it's just you and me!" Ace exclaims... or IS it? Not too far away, a mysterious figure materializes on the roof of a building with a gun.

Iron Man?!

The mysterious figure starts talking... and even with the weird filter over it, it's very easy to tell that his voice is that of Elmer Fudd. If they were planning to make this guy's being Elmer's descendant a surprise, they blew it.

So, does he like mutant rabbit stew, or is he a vegetarian who just hunts for the sport of it?
Elmer's reason for hunting varied from short to short, so who knows what this guy's deal is...

We then get the theme song, which in the second season was turned into a horrible, horrible rap. The singer's not even SINGING, he's just SHOUTING and half the time I can't even make out what he's saying. Even Huey, Dewey and Louie's Tasty Paste rap was better than this.

After that, we see Ace still battling Massive, still unaware of Elmer's descendant's presence. Maybe that's because Elmer's descendant is taking his sweet time firing at him. He finally does fire... just as Danger pushes Ace out of the way. It's then revealed that Elmer's descendant doesn't use bullets, he uses those arrows with suction cups on the end. Really? Even Elmer used actual bullets.

Sorry, Danger, looks like it's Duck Season.

The arrow, upon making contact with Danger's rump, sends him flying onto Ace, allowing Massive to get away. Then Danger falls asleep.. for some reason, I guess being a Daffy Duck wannabe really tuckers you out. "Let's get Sleepin' Beauty back to HQ," Ace tells Slam and Tech in his bad Brooklyn accent.

As soon as the Loonatics leave, Elmer's descendant unmasks, revealing himself to be the Loonatics equivalent of Elmer Fudd. Wow, what a twist this would be if we didn't already hear his voice, which was clearly that of Elmer's. Specifically, it's Billy West, who was the official voice of Elmer in the 2000s. I'm not sure why they don't use him as Elmer anymore... not that Jeff Bergman and Eric Bauza's takes are bad, it's just an oddity considering Billy is widely regarded to be the best Elmer voice since Arthur Q. Bryan.

Here's something else for you to wrap your head around: if Elmer has a descendant, that means he had children. He got MARRIED. Well, he did have a wife in at least one short so I guess him being married isn't so hard to believe, but Elmer having kids?

Do you think there are descendants of Tiny Toon Adventures characters in Acmetropolis too?
I know there's a fan theory that Lexi is descended from Buster and Babs...

Ace and Danger pay a visit to the aforementioned prison ship, where various villains they fought in previous episodes of the show are being held. Among them is Otto the Odd (Dee Bradley Baker), who was the bad guy of an episode somebody already did a review of so if you want an idea of what this guy's story is, just read that.

Ace and Danger pay a visit to the Joker's younger brother, who for obvious reasons
he doesn't like to talk about.

The three of them trade unfunny barbs for a few seconds, then Ace and Danger meet up with the warden and talk about how Massive escaped. Daffy... I mean, Plucky... I mean, Danger gets electrocuted because like an idiot he decides to touch some sort of electric prison cell bars that the prison ship uses.

Then Ace and Danger head back to the Loonatics' headquarters, where they see a news report about some artist going missing after his paintings were stolen from the Acmetropolis Museum. Elmer's descendant is walking up the side of the building, talking about how he's going to "flush the wabbit out of his hole". Okay, Not-Elmer, you do realize you're not just hunting a rabbit in the forest, right? You're in a futuristic city, hunting a rabbit who has SUPERPOWERS. We saw before that your stupid arrows don't actually DO anything, so it's not like shooting at Ace will actually harm him in any way. There's a pretty good chance that he'll blast you with his laser beam eyes or something. Sheesh, and I thought Beaky Buzzard was a dimwit (no offense, Beaky - you're a fun character. You should've been in Space Jam 2).

I mean, Bugs is a force to be reckoned with, but at least he doesn't have superpowers (except
for in that one short where he was Super-Rabbit, but Elmer wasn't in that one, so...).

Before Not-Elmer can fire at Ace, his plan is thwarted when Taz... I mean, Slam goes crazy and does... something in an attempt to get his hands on Danger's food. Then Lexi sees Massive on TV, robbing a western museum where a singing cowboy and his robo-horse live. "Let's jet!" Ace says, and off they head to the museum... except for Slam and Rev, who were left back at HQ to get tabs on Massive. I said it in my previous review, but Rob Paulsen is completely wasted in this show.

Plot twist - Rev isn't actually a descendant of the Road Runner at all. He's the great-great-great-
great-great-great-grandson of Ogden from Channel Umptee-3. Y'know, since Rob Paulsen
voices both characters.

Ace, Lexi, Danger, and Tech go inside the museum and search for Massive... who, wouldn't you know it, has stolen the robo-horse. Unbeknownst to them, Not-Elmer is there, too.

In addition to fine artwork, Massive is also a fan of pony rides!

I like how Not-Elmer doesn't seem to even notice that Massive is there. Like, sheesh, Not-Elmer, Ace is kind of in the middle of something. How about waiting until he defeats the big blue-skinned guy to blast him? Of course, his attempt at shooting Ace - this time with a net - winds up taking out Danger instead.

Once again, Massive gets away. "That wascally wabbit is pwoving a tougher adversary than I pwedicted!" Not-Elmer complains. "No matter. Electro J. Fudd is the gweatest hunter who ever lived!" See, he actually DOES have a name. But eh, I'm just going to call him Not-Elmer, because that's all he is. Elmer except he's not Elmer. Back at the Loonatics' headquarters, Tech reveals that he did a body-scan of Danger and found something very strange. It's a hair that doesn't belong to him or any of us!

...wait, is the hair supposed to be Not-Elmer's? Seems unlikely, seeing as Elmer is bald so his identical descendant is likely bald too. Or is that helmet Not-Elmer wears actually covering up flowing locks?

Or did that hair actually come from Massive? Massive isn't bald, after all...

Tech ran the hair through his DNA reconstructor, and the analysis tells them that the hair does indeed belong to Not-Elmer... who still appears to be bald outside of his armor, but I'm admittedly not one hundred percent sure if that weird patch of brown on his head is a helmet or if he just has hair the same color as the suit he's wearing. Lexi knows who Not-Elmer is, and that he comes from a long line of famous hunters. Elmer is famous in this world? Lexi even says that "the Fudds have been great hunters since the beginning of time" - anybody familiar with Looney Tunes can tell you that Elmer is not a great hunter. Unless this is one of those times when the Looney Tunes characters are actually just actors, is Elmer famous for being a hunter who never actually succeeds at killing anything?

Does Elmer even want to kill Bugs? He cries or at least feels bad whenever he thinks he's killed Bugs, and whenever he shoots Daffy, Daffy is fine afterwards, he just needs to readjust his bill. Is Elmer's idea of a fun hobby going around shooting animals with completely harmless guns?

Actually, if Bugs has descendants, that's a pretty good indicator that Elmer never actually succeeded in blasting him (again, assuming that he actually WANTS to harm Bugs).

Seriously, what is that thing on his head? A helmet? Hair? A wig?

Making things even MORE confusing, Lexi shows the others some of Not-Elmer's ancestors, the first of whom is Elmer Fudd himself. Apparently, he's known for hunting down the world's biggest squirrel. Though from the looks of it, it seems that the world's biggest squirrel had the upper hand.

I don't remember THIS Elmer Fudd cartoon...

After that, there was Elmer's... son, I guess, who hunted aquatic mammals - before an encounter with a giant walrus who... I dunno, ate him? I know walruses can attack people in self-defense, but I don't think they EAT people. Of course, if you want to bring REALISM into this, rabbits can't talk, so...

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of other things..."

Then there was Ahab J. Fudd, who hunted a mysterious great whale... and was promptly gobbled up by it. I hear he's living with Pinocchio now.

Okay, they literally just gave us the exact same joke three times. A Fudd is
pointing his weapon at some cute little animal, unaware that a much larger, angrier
animal is behind him. A little variety with your humor would be nice.

And there was also a caveman Fudd who hunted the woolly mammoth - and was stepped on by one. But what could he possibly be hunting in Acmetropolis? No time to answer that, Massive's robbing a cookie factory now! Because... I guess he likes cookies?

Actually, why did I say that? Of course he does. Everybody loves cookies!

Where the heck is Rev?

Here's another question: is Ace considered a legal citizen in Acmetropolis? I mean, he's a rabbit, but he doesn't live in a hole in the forest like Bugs. If he IS a legal citizen, wouldn't that make Not-Elmer here hunting him illegal? Even if Not-Elmer does succeed in killing Ace, he will go to jail.

Well, anyway, they go to the cookie factory and - you guessed it - Not-Elmer is spying on them. "I wove it when a pwan comes together! That wabbit's pwaying wight into my hand!" he says. How come he's only focused on Ace? Lexi's a rabbit too.

When they head inside the factory, Massive starts pelting cookies at them, which results in Slam channeling his inner Cookie Monster. "Slam, you're despicable," Danger complains. Lay off him, you Daffy wannabe - who WOULDN'T do the same thing if they were in Slam's position? The other Loonatics attempt to fight Massive (which allows Rev to finally have a line in this episode), but they all get their clocks cleaned, with Danger in particular being subjected to shenanigans that are so whacky. Seriously, even Duck Dodgers is more competent than this duck. Tech eventually manages to fire a gun at Massive...

"THIS is for shelving Coyote vs. ACME!"

...which causes Massive to make this face...

"HERP-A-DERP!"

...and then he explodes. Not-Elmer emerges from the giant vat of brown sludge he got knocked into (probably should've mentioned that), and then Ace says "Meh, what's up, Fudd?"

And what does Not-Elmer do? He flees, despite the fact that he has a perfect opportunity to blast Ace right now. It seems that the reason Massive exploded is because he was a robot this whole time, and he has a flash drive in his head that just might contain some useful information for Tech.

Not-Elmer, meanwhile, realizes that whenever he has Ace right where he wants him, Danger screws it up. "Seems that I've been hunting the wong woonatic," he says. "Now it's DUCK SEASON!"

Actually, Not-Elmer, it isn't Duck Season OR Rabbit Season. It's Goat Season. Just ask Bugs...

Ace did some snooping and found out that the singing cowboy who owns the western museum and the woman who owns the cookie factory also vanished around the same time that the artist whose paintings got stolen did. What's the connection between a hunter and a robotic duplicate of a blue-skinned guy? "Well, hunters ARE known for their DECOYS," Ace says. This is the closest that the episode comes to being clever.

"Look at what da animation community is sayin' about us on Toonzone.com!"

So, what is Not-Elmer's goal? Maybe he's got some sort of collection going on, and all that's left to complete it is to nab the top crime-fighter in Acmetropolis. Danger claims that the top crime-fighter in Acmetropolis is HIM, but as we've established, he's not even in the top five. "It's time to turn the tables on the hunter and make HIM the huntEE!" Ace declares.

What is Ace's plan? He'll stand out in the open and wait for Not-Elmer to show up and make his move. The others will just hide until he arrives, giving Daffy... I mean, Danger plenty of time to stew over not being the best crime-fighter ever.

Allow me to summarize everything Danger says: "Blah blah blah I'm just Daffy in all
but name. Blah blah blah I have an ego the size of the sun. Blah blah blah I'm so incompetent
I make Captain Underpants look like the Green Lantern. Blah blah blah."

As part of his rant, Danger complains that ducks get no respect - all they get is sent to a Chinese deli where they're cooked and sold upside-down in a glass cage. Apparently it's legal to cook and eat anthropomorphic ducks?

Of course, Ace's plan fails because Not-Elmer fires his net gun at DANGER, not him. He traps Danger in a net covered with "anti-quacking gel" and takes off with him back to the prison ship, where he sticks him in the same cell as Otto... who he was working for, I guess? Okay, sure. We can throw that out there.

Wow, the guys running this prison ship gave Otto a pretty large cell...

This is where all the paintings went. We get cameos from Granny, Sylvester and Tweety (Tweety's has him in drag, so I guess Warner Bros. still couldn't figure out in the 2000s if he was a boy or a girl).

That's a nice suit Sylvester is wearing.

Apparently the warden is a robot as well, allowing Otto to take charge of the prison ship. And Otto also somehow immobilized another clown. In fact, he also immobilized the artist, the western museum owner, and the cookie factory owner. And he plans to do the same to Danger - as the greatest screw-up of all time! With an anvil on his head, to remind us that this is a Looney Tunes production.

So, this twist came the heck out of nowhere. Otto's brief appearance at the beginning
was not enough foreshadowing.

And, of course, since he is apparently the galaxy's greatest hunter, Otto's gonna freeze Not-Elmer too. Out comes the machine that Otto uses to freeze people, and with another unfunny line from Danger, he and Not-Elmer make a run for it.

Oh, and Pepe Le Pew and Penelope Pussycat got frozen too. So some Looney Tunes characters still exist in the same time period as the descendants of their fellow Looney Tunes characters? Are Pepe and Penelope time-travelers?

So did Otto consider Pepe and Penelope the greatest cartoon characters of all time?
I know I'm putting way too much thought into a cameo, but I'm starved for material here.

Eventually, Not-Elmer gets zapped with the freeze ray, but since he's wearing armor, he's unharmed. And then Ace finally shows up. Just Ace, I don't know where the other Loonatics are. How did Ace find them? He knew someone was collecting the best of all time, and he thought "Who's the best collector of all time"? So the day is saved, right?

Nope. Otto zaps Ace with the freeze ray. Maybe Ace should've just zapped Otto with his laser beam eyes instead of talking about how he figured out his scheme.

"I WAS FROZEN TODAY!"

Oh, wait. Never mind. The Ace who got zapped was just a robot. The actual Ace shows up with Lexi, Tech, Slam, and Rev. They trap Otto in a net and then Ace says "Eh, what's up, Doc?" for no reason other than because he's Bugs' descendant. Honestly, hearing him say that feels wrong to me. This rabbit isn't even fit to lick Bugs' boots, which he doesn't wear.

So the day is saved NOW, right? Nope, Otto was a robot too. Danger blasts Otto before he can use the freeze ray on Ace, and he winds up getting zapped by the freeze ray himself. Oh, the irony.

And even though Not-Elmer did a Heel-Face Turn, he still has to go to jail. Sorry, Not-Elmer. All the frozen people are unfrozen, one of whom Lexi has the hots for despite the fact that she's a rabbit and he's a human being.

Of course, if Foghorn Leghorn's descendant is a human, maybe interspecies romance
is just a normal thing in this world...

And then Danger accidentally gets frozen. I assume the others unfreeze him offscreen, because otherwise they'd be super lousy friends.

What's the Verdict?

Well, I will say this wasn't quite as bad as the FIRST Loonatics Unleashed episode I watched, but there still is nothing of substance here.

All the problems I brought up in my first review still run rampant - the jokes aren't funny, the characters are either dull and uninteresting or annoying knockoffs of beloved Looney Tunes characters, it's a blatant Teen Titans wannabe, and Rob Paulsen is completely wasted. Adding in more Looney Tunes characters and references didn't do anything to improve the show, if anything it just highlights even more why the show doesn't work. The Looney Tunes characters, be they the actual characters or their descendants who are just them in all but name, do not belong in an action cartoon where we're supposed to take them seriously. Elmer Fudd is not an evil villain who we want to see brought to justice - he's an antagonist, yes, but he's just too dimwitted and not vicious enough to be a threat and who we like seeing Bugs mess with because it's funny, not because we find it cathartic. I could see Yosemite Sam or Marvin the Martian maybe managing to be threatening (and even then I'm on the fence about that), but Elmer? Not so much. The closest he's ever come was What's Opera Doc?.

Good things about this? Well, the animation is fine and the voice actors are all doing their best with what they were given (although I would hesitate to call Danger one of Jason Marsden's better roles). But as a whole the show has nothing going for it. You want my advice? Watch Duck Dodgers instead. The show, not that aforementioned crappy Attack of the Drones short. Maybe I should do a review of that show at some point...

Speaking of Duck Dodgers, I have a confession to make: you know that episode where Daffy, Porky, and Marvin fought a virus that turned people into Elmer Fudd clones? That episode made me afraid of Elmer Fudd for a while. Yes, really. Go ahead and judge me.