Let's Watch This - An Episode of "Super Duper Sumos"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

I've never really understood why sumo wrestling is so popular. I don't know, watching fat nearly naked people beat each other up doesn't sound like my idea of a fun spectator sport. But in Japan, it's a national pastime, and to cartoons, it's comedy gold. After all, it involves two things - fat people and naked people - that everyone thinks are much funnier than they actually are. So if it's animated and it takes place in Japan, expect a sumo wrestler to pop up at some point. Even an advertisement for Ritz crackers got in on the act:

At some point, the folks at DiC Entertainment (same guys responsible for The Super Mario Bros. Super Show) got an idea: what if they did a cartoon starring sumo wrestlers? So they teamed up with South Korea firm Ameko Entertainment to produce three animated shows, the first one being Super Duper Sumos.

And thus, September 22nd, 2001 saw the premiere of Super Duper Sumos on Nickelodeon in the United States and on a channel called Tooniverse in South Korea. One season, consisting of twenty-six episodes, was produced, chronicling the adventures of sumo wrestling brothers Booma (the blonde-haired one, voiced by Matt Hill), Kimo (the Caucasian black-haired one, voiced by Ben Hur), and Mamoo (the black one, voiced by Cusse Mankuma). They live in a place called Generic City with their cousin Prima (voiced by Chantal Strand) and fight a corporation called Bad Inc., following the way of the "P.H.A.T.": Peace, Honor, And Truth.

Most people only know that Super Duper Sumos existed because cartoon reviewer RebelTaxi dubbed it the worst cartoon ever. And while I wouldn't go THAT far - shows like Planet Sheen exist, after all - after watching an episode I can confirm that it is indeed pretty bad. Why do I say that? Well, why don't we watch the eleventh episode, "Sumos on Ice", and I'll tell you just why Super Duper Sumos is anything BUT super. Let's get started...

The episode starts off at Bad Inc., where the main villain of the show, Ms. Mister (Deborah Demille), is giving the laboratory of mad scientist Dr. Stinger (Peter Kelamis) an inspection. Dr. Stinger totally has the hots for her - and I'm guessing he's not the only one, considering how the internet gets whenever there's an attractive female in a cartoon show (I'd be willing to bet that if you search "Super Duper Sumos" on DeviantArt, you'll mostly find pictures of her) - but she, for some strange reason, is not into the hunchbacked green-skinned weirdo who's clearly missing a few of his marbles. She tells him that she'd be happy to give him a kiss... when the world freezes over (she can't say "when that dark, firey place that rhymes with 'smell' freezes over", as the expression usually goes, because it's a kids' show).

That doesn't deter Dr. Stinger. He can, and will, make the world freeze over. If those Viking guys from Loonatics Unleashed couldn't do it, what makes him think HE'S got a shot?

Why are so many mad scientists in cartoons hunchbacked and/or green-skinned?
I wonder if he's related to the Angry Scientist from Sheep in the Big City...

Then we cut to the good guys watching a parade. Not just any parade, the Joe Bob Julliard House of Pies Twice Annual Big Honkin' Pie Parade, which Booma finds very exciting. It includes the largest cream pie ever made, accompanied by the mayor of Generic City and a seal (the Joe Bob Julliard House of Pies Seal of Approval. Get it?).

That's the largest cream pie ever made? I mean, it's big, but when I think of the largest cream pie ever made, I think of something, like, the size of a house. Not something that's not even larger than the car it's tied to. I mean, the largest Boston cream pie ever made was ten feet wide and weighed over a ton (no, really! Look it up!).

Hugh Neutron would probably love this parade.

Unbeknownst to the Super Duper Sumos, Dr. Stinger is flying over the parade in a helicopter, which he jumps out of - a parachute pops out of his hunch, which I'll admit is kind of funny. He lands on a pie-shaped blimp and claims it in the name of Ms. Mister, then he starts dousing it in Tasty Paste.

It's a Nickelodeon show, you should've expected green slime to pop up at SOME point...

"I will use this balloon to block out the sun!" Dr. Stinger exclaims. Jeez, how many times now have I reviewed something where the villain wanted to block out the sun? First the Hugeos in Josie and the Pussycats in Outer Space, then Dracula in Monster Family... don't cartoon villains realize the ramifications of blocking out the sun? For one thing, sundial sales would plummet!

"Let us leap into action!" Kimo declares, leading to a Power Rangers-esque transformation/suit up sequence... except the Super Duper Sumos aren't actually transforming or suiting up, they're just striking poses and shaking their butts. So... what was the point? Why not just immediately try to stop Dr. Stinger?

Don't worry, this isn't a fart joke. It just looks like one out of context.

To keep the Super Duper Sumos busy, Dr. Stinger throws down a smoke bomb that somehow brings the car carrying the "largest cream pie ever made" to life. And THIS sentient car isn't like Herbie the Love Bug or Benny the Cab, no, no... it's got sharp teeth, and it's not afraid to use them.

"Ka-chow, punks!"

Mamoo says that it's time to order up "a big heaping helping of sumo size". So they repeat the transformation/suit up sequence, meaning that we have to see Mamoo shaking his butt at us again (I'll spare you guys the screencap). Thanks for that. This time, however, they actually DO transform - sort of, they become more muscular. Why didn't they do that before, when they first saw Dr. Stinger stealing the blimp?

Some guys just shouldn't go shirtless.

Long story short, they save the mayor and the seal and defeat the evil sentient car. Booma eats the pie without even asking if anyone else would like some (how selfish). But Dr. Stinger manages to block out the sun with the blimp he stole, bringing on a new Ice Age.

"I WAS FROZEN TODAY!"

Everything on Earth is either frozen solid like Prima or covered with ice and snow - except for the Super Duper Sumos. I guess their sumo powers keep them warm or something like that. Booma says that he's going to get one of those big heat lamps for his butt, because butts are funny, right? "We're in some deep sushi!" Mamoo exclaims. "Of the frozen fish stick variety!" Kimo adds. There's only one thing to do: have a flashback.

The Super Duper Sumos flash back to when they were being trained by Wisdom San (Richard Newman), who sounds like Mel Brooks and is about seventy-five percent beard. He teaches them... how to make armpit farts. A skill that all sumo wrestlers should know. That, for those who couldn't tell, was sarcasm.

Hey, I think we've finally found Squidward's father!

Apparently, armpit farts generate heat, so the Super Duper Sumos do that to melt the ice around Prima. Now they just have to deal with the blimp. But first, Mamoo has to deal with the seal, who is apparently the strongest seal in the world because he can lift the very large and fat Mamoo into the air with just his nose.

...y'know what? This whole show should've been about him. Yep, this show would've been better if it were about a seal with tremendous strength fighting evil. "Super Duper Seal" has a nice ring to it.

Did you know that northern fur seals can outrun a human on slippery rocks and climb
nearly vertical cliffs? Hey, if I can't be funny, I think I should at least try to be educational.

Atop the pie-shaped blimp, Ms. Mister and Dr. Stinger are standing with Bad Inc. administrator Billy Swift (Michael Richard Dobson) - otherwise known as "BS", which coincidentally also describes most of what emerges from Donald Trump's mouth - and a ghostly entity by the name of Genghis Fangus (also Michael Richard Dobson). Since the world has frozen over, Ms. Mister and Dr. Stinger have to start smoochin', much to her disgust... or maybe not. Dr. Stinger's "sumo alarm" starts going off, alerting the bad guys of the good guys' presence. "One night only, for your entertainment..." Dr. Stinger says... "Sumos on Ice!"

With the press of a button, Dr. Stinger opens up a giant hole in the ice, from which emerge hockey stick-armed robots wearing football helmets. "Let us put the ICE-ing on this hockey cake!" Kimo says. You've really gotta work on your one-liners, Kimo. The Super Duper Sumos wind up slipping on the ice before they can do any actual damage, bringing to mind the words "EPIC FAIL". Fortunately, Prima is apparently an expert hockey player, because she manages to take down the robots herself. I see we have another character who would've made a much better main protagonist than the sumo wrestlers...

Maybe the seal could've been her sidekick.

Then it's time for the Super Duper Sumos to do a "sumo swirl", which is them locking arms and spinning around on the ice, sending the robots flying when they try to attack. Then Prima sends them all flying into the net. Has she considered trying out for the Toronto Maple Leafs?

And then who should show up again but the OTHER best character in the episode, the seal, much to Mamoo's horror. You see, he's afraid of seals because when the Super Duper Sumos were babies and Wisdom San took them to the zoo, a seal caused Mamoo to lose his churro. Seals: destroyers of churros. Apathetic to his brother's plight, Booma gets hungry and runs over to a penguin-shaped ice cream stand - which Dr. Sting promptly zaps with a satellite dish, turning it into an evil robo-penguin!

"I HAVE BEEN SENT TO PUNISH THOSE WHO DID NOT SEE MARCH OF
THE PENGUINS IN THEATERS. YOU WILL PAY FOR GOING TO SEE THE ADVENTURES
OF SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL INSTEAD."

Booma, Mamoo, and Kimo have their giant rear ends handed to them by the robo-penguin, trapping them and Prima in a giant snowball. Fortunately, the seal frees them with his super-strength, and then Prima comes up with a plan. A plan that involves the Super Duper Sumos going "sumo size", which means we get that stupid transformation/suit up sequence AGAIN - and then the Super Duper Sumos send the robo-penguin flying (which is ironic, seeing as it's a penguin and all). And where does it fly? Right into the blimp, popping it. The blimp deflates, the sun is unblocked, and all the ice and snow starts to melt. And then Mamoo accidentally sends the seal flying, too.

As for the bad guys, they wind up on top of a mountain, where Ms. Mister tricks Dr. Stinger into kissing the robo-penguin.

Meh, still a better love story than Bee Movie.

The seal lands on top of the robo-penguin and starts balancing Dr. Stinger on his nose. And that's it. That's how it ends. Whee.

What's the Verdict?

After this and The Super Mario Bros. Super Show, I think I've figured something out: if a cartoon is made by DiC Entertainment and it has the word "Super" in the title, there's not much of substance.

Yeah, I'm sorry, but this was pretty lame. For one thing, none of the jokes (aside from the parachute emerging from Dr. Stinger's hunch) were funny - fat people, naked people, and butts are not automatically funny, in order for them to be funny you need good writing. You can't just shove a fat naked guy at the screen and expect to get a laugh. The characters are mostly one-note, and in the case of Booma kind of annoying. The only characters I actually liked were Prima and the Seal, why couldn't the show have been about them? The animation is fine, I guess. The voice actors are doing their best. But it's pretty easy to see why this only got one season. Nickelodeon was airing far better cartoons - produced in-house, too - at the time. Of course, it was also airing Butt-Ugly Martians, so we can't say it wasn't airing worse cartoons as well.

If you'd like to watch Super Duper Sumos for yourself, you can find episodes on YouTube. There have also been DVD releases, most of which are likely out of print but could probably be found on eBay. But don't say I didn't warn you.

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