Let's Watch This: An Episode of "The Wizard of Oz"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

I think the first time I ever watched The Wizard of Oz was on Halloween. My sister, my cousins and I had finished trick-or-treating and we found The Wizard of Oz airing on TV for some reason. I think it was on TBS, and recall during the ads there were fun facts about the film. Yes, I remember that, but I don't remember anything I learned about algebra in math class. Go figure.

So, for that reason, I tend to associate The Wizard of Oz with Halloween, though recently my family has also found it airing around Thanksgiving. I think the presence of a witch helps with that. So this qualifies as a Halloween review. Sort of. Look, it's MY blog.

I briefly mentioned this 1990s Wizard of Oz cartoon in a previous blog post. First airing in September 1990, a year after the film's 50th anniversary, the show was produced by DiC Entertainment. Unlike Journey Back to Oz, the show was based entirely on the movie, so don't expect much in the way of elements from the books.

One thing this show did have in common with the books as opposed to the movie is that Oz was a real place this time. Dorothy (voiced by Liz Georges) and Toto (voiced by Frank Welker) are whisked back to Oz by the ruby slippers because somehow the Wicked Witch of the West (Tress MacNeille) returned. Maybe they put her melted remains in a freezer and she resolidified, I dunno (if the show ever actually explained how she returned, please let me know). She steals the Scarecrow (David Lodge)'s diploma, the Tin Man (Hal Rayle)'s clock heart, and the Cowardly Lion (Charlie Adler)'s medal of courage, traps the Wizard (Alan Oppenheimer) in an evil wind, and takes over the Emerald City. Though the good guys succeed in saving the Emerald City in the show's two-part pilot, the Wicked Witch is still around, and they need the help of the Wizard to defeat her. So the four friends travel across Oz to bring the Wizard back, traveling to such strange locations as Mechanica, where everything is mechanical, and Pop Land, full of jack-in-the-boxes.

Andy Heyward, DiC's then-president and the executive producer of the show, said in an interview, "We all felt a great sense of responsibility. We felt that we were dealing with something that was almost sacred - not based on toy products or something transitory, but one of the treasures of American film." Mike Maliani, DiC's vice president of development, also said, "I think we kept the integrity of the classic and mixed in enough new for today's audience." Apparently, it wasn't enough new after all - after premiering on ABC, the show only got thirteen episodes.

So, should you follow the Yellow Brick Road to DiC's Land of Oz, or should somebody drop a house on this show? Let's find out, shall we? We're going to watch the nineth episode of the show (or the eighth, if you consider the two-parter pilot to be one episode), "Time Town". This is The Wizard of Oz.

The episode starts off with Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion making their way through a spooky-looking area with rotting trees and babbling brooks. Oddly, while the Cowardly Lion is an obvious Bert Lahr impression and Dorothy's voice is at least sort of similar to Judy Garland's, the Scarecrow and the Tin Man don't sound like Ray Bolger or Jack Haley at all. Their voices both sound a bit like Ed Wynn.

"Hey, did you know that in the background of this scene, there's a hanging-"

"No, there's not! That's just an urban legend!"

Suddenly, they hear what is clearly the caw of a crow. But apparently they don't know what a crow sounds like, because the Cowardly Lion says it sounds like a roar or a growl, and Dorothy "identifies" the sound as being from an approaching pigeon. You'd think that the Scarecrow, a being who spends most of his time around crows (there's a reason why he's called a scareCROW, after all) would know what a crow sounds like, but he doesn't say anything.

Fun fact: according to Mike Maliani, this show's version of Dorothy was designed to
resemble Ariel from The Little Mermaid. I'm not sure I see the resemblance.

The pigeon, much like the ones in Valiant, is a messenger pigeon with a singing telegram for Dorothy. It sings an awful but fortunately short song about how the Wizard of Oz is in the Emerald City. I guess he got out of that evil wind himself. Odd, seeing as there were five more episodes after this and TV Tropes claims that the show didn't have a proper ending.

So the good guys dance awkwardly to the Emerald City singing "We're Off to See the Wizard".

Had to make a GIF of this, just to show you guys how awkward-looking their dancing is.

They arrive at the Emerald City... which looks more like a fortress from Star Wars or something...

Is that a giant gun sticking out of the top? I guess this time they're not taking any chances
if the Wicked Witch flies overhead on her broomstick...

"What happened to the Emerald City?!" Dorothy exclaims. And why is the Wizard's hot air balloon crashed by the side of the Yellow Brick Road? And why is the Wizard standing next to the balloon, working in a garden and dressed like a farmer?

Tonight, the role of the Wizard of Oz will be played by Sam Elliot.

The Wizard doesn't even recognize Dorothy and her pals. Maybe Glinda, the Good Witch of the North (BJ Ward), can shed a little light on this situation. Maybe she can also explain why she now looks like a giant Barbie doll.

The Scarecrow seems oddly happy about the Wizard not recognizing them.

Unsuprisingly, the Wicked Witch is behind all this. You see, the entire history of Oz has been recorded in a book. That book has been safe for years inside a time capsule, but the Wicked Witch just walked up to it and stole it. Because apparently it wasn't being guarded at all?

And now that the Wicked Witch has it, she's been erasing the history of Oz page by page. I can't help but wonder if she plans to replace it by writing down a new version of events that paints her as the good guy and the Wizard as the bad guy, thus creating Wicked. By the way, no, I did not choose to do a review of this show simply because the second part of the Wicked movie is being released this year.

"With this, I can make myself look like Idina Menzel!"

"Now you must go to Time Town and stop the Wicked Witch before it's too late!" Glinda says. "Time Town is high in the Sawtooth Hills!" But before she can tell them where the secret entrance is, she suddenly turns into an Obi-Wan Kenobi cosplayer and forgets what her name is.

So, the Wizard is now a farmer, Glinda is now a Star Wars Celebration attendee... what's next,
is the Witch gonna turn the Scarecrow into Michael Jackson?

The Wizard leads the good guys up the Sawtooth Hills, and then he gets distracted by... a whirlpool of dirt? At least I'm ASSUMING that brown stuff is dirt. It could be chocolate pudding for all I know.

"Why, this is my lucky day! I've always wanted to go swimming in Nesquik!"

The Tin Man attempts to pull the Wizard out of the whirlpool with his axe, but the Wizard is too stupid to grab the axe, and down he goes. Toto, for some reason, jumps into the whirlpool too. Suddenly, they hear the ticking of clocks. "I do believe this is the secret entrance to Time Town!" the Scarecrow declares. Yes, the entrance to Time Town is a whirlpool. Maybe it's a reference to that spinning vortex you always see in cartoons when characters go back in time?

So into the whirlpool they jump. Meanwhile, the Wicked Witch is gloating to her right-hand flying monkey, Truckle (also Frank Welker), about how she's using her magic smoke and a giant pendelum to erase the history of Oz. Then she can make Oz into anything she wants! But her crystal ball tells her that Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion have found the secret entrance to Time Town. She'll just have to send them a welcoming surprise...

"Ugh, where's the remote control for this thing? I wanna see if Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
is on..."

The whirlpool empties out into a giant hourglass, and out of it slide the good guys. The Wizard and Toto are waiting for them. They're standing outside of Time Town, a city with more clocks than your local Hobby Lobby.

Nobody ever has to wonder what time it is in THIS town.

As the good guys walk over to the time capsule where the book usually is, Truckle attempts to clean their clocks (couldn't resist) with a giant bell. To get inside the time capsule, they just have to adjust the hands on the giant clock that hides the entrance, but before they can step inside, down the bell falls on top of them. "They'll never get out of there!" Truckle cackles as he flies off. Fortunately, the Wizard gives everyone the idea to just dig their way out from under the bell - good thing the ground in Time Town is dirt as opposed to cement or something.

I didn't know you could dig with an axe.

Eventually, the ground gives way and they fall into a tunnel filled with giant gears. They find another door, and when they push it open they discover these guys.

Oh, so THESE are the droids they were looking for...

...why am I making so many Star Wars references in this review?

The little robots have heard of Dorothy, it turns out, and they're very excited to see her. One of them explains that they're the "Minute Men", guardians of Time Town, and they're hiding from the Wicked Witch. Even though the show generally doesn't take much in the way of elements from L. Frank Baum's books that weren't in the movie, I can't help but notice that two of them look a lot like Tik-Tok, the robot who first appeared in Ozma of Oz (and who also appeared in Disney's 1980s film Return to Oz).

The Minute Men don't know where the Wicked Witch took the book, but perhaps Father Time, who lives in the Cuckoo Forest, does. The two Minute Men who look like Tik-Tok offer to take them there, armed with an alarm clock that will warn them of danger - which makes the name "ALARM clock" pretty fitting.

Alas, the Wicked Witch sees them in her crystal ball again, and she's not pleased. "Take a squadron of monkeys and stop them for good!" she orders Truckle.

"What do you mean I don't look good in purple?!"

The good guys are traveling through the Cuckoo Forest, where the trees all have cuckoo clock birds living in them. The flying monkeys show up to ambush them, but the Scarecrow gets the idea to fend them off by making a lot of noise. With the monkeys discombobulated, Dorothy and the others run to the "time stream" and jump aboard a floating sundial. Now they just have to brave the rapids.

They get to Father Time's house, who complains that ever since the Wicked Witch stole the History of Oz book to Pendelum Mountain, everything has been a mess.

That's quite a forehead Father Time has.

"Thanks for your time. We're off to Pendelum Mountain!" the Tin Man says, but before they leave, Father Time gives them a bag of magic sand - the Sands of Time, that is. He does not, however, tell them what to do with it, when the Scarecrow asks he just says that they'll figure it out. Way to be unhelpful, Father Time.

So into Pendelum Mountain they sneak. Now they just need to think of a way to defeat the Wicked Witch. Here's a suggestion, why don't you just find some water and MELT HER? It worked the first time. Unfortunately, the Wizard winds up giving them away before they can think of a plan. As chaos unfolds, the Scarecrow does his best Miley Cyrus impression:

"I came in like a WREEEEEEEEC-KING BALL!"

The Wizard uses the Sands of Time to extinguish the fire that the Witch was using to create the magical green smoke. All the history of Oz that she erased magically reappears after the Cowardly Lion flips the pages of the book with a sneeze. The Witch's plan is foiled. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!" she shrieks.

"I don't know how, but we reversed this spell!" the Scarecrow says. Don't worry, Scarecrow, I'm not quite sure how you did it either. The pendelum disappears, and since the Witch's messing with the book was apparently erased from Oz's history, everyone is teleported out of the mountain. Downside: the Wizard flies off in his balloon again - but at least he's back to being the Wizard.

Glinda shows up and praises Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion for saving the day. Quick question, why didn't SHE make any sort of attempt to stop the Wicked Witch? Before she got her memory erased, I mean?

Hey, Scarecrow, Mickey Mouse called. He wants his gloves back.

What's the Verdict?

So that's The Wizard of Oz, and while it's not the greatest cartoon ever, it makes for a pretty good sequel series to the film. They do a lot of creative stuff with the time land, the voice actors all do a good job, everyone is in-character. I do have two complaints, though. First of all, the animation, while competent, is riddled with errors. Most of the character designs are good, but Dorothy and Glinda are a bit off-putting (I think it's the eyes). Second, while you'll hear no complaints from me over the show being based on the iconic 1939 film, I think it was a bit of a missed opportunity not to include stuff from the books that wasn't in the film. I mean, in total there are FORTY Oz books, including the fourteen written by L. Frank Baum. Surely you could've had the Kalidahs or something pop up in one episode. But I digress.

If you like the movie, you'll probably like the cartoon. You can find every episode on YouTube, and there are also some VHS and DVD releases (only one, the tenth episode, was never released on home video). And now, a word from our sponsor.

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Let's Watch This: An Episode (or Two) of "The Wacky World of Tex Avery"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

You know who Tex Avery is, right?

If you're a big fan of animation, you should. Tex is one of the most influential animators who ever lived. His cartoons were known for how absolutely deranged and bizarre they were: lots of surrealist humor, fourth wall shattering, sight gags, that sort of thing. He helped create characters like Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Porky Pig for Warner Brothers, and also created characters like Droopy, Red Hot Riding Hood, and Screwy Squirrel for MGM. A lot of cartoons made since the Golden Age of Animation owe a lot to Tex.

Now, in the 1990s, Tex's influence was still present in animated MOVIES (Aladdin and Hercules, for example, both have gags that wouldn't be out of place in Tex's cartoons), television shows not so much. All the new Looney Tunes productions at the time based their styles of humor and takes on the characters from Chuck Jones' shorts, and a lot of comedic cartoons were either following the Animaniacs mindset of "pop culture references and risque humor = instant laughs" (The Spooktacular Adventures of Casper, for instance), trying too hard to be hip and cool with the kids, yo (coughcoughQuack Packcoughcough) or just doing their own thing (The Angry Beavers is a hilarious show, but I would hesitate to say it's similar to Tex's work). So doing a cartoon that reminds the world of what Mr. Avery brought to the table sounds like a good idea on paper, right?

A few things made The Wacky World of Tex Avery, created by the good folks at DiC Entertainment, doomed from the start. Most notably, this show had absolutely nothing to do with Tex or his characters - there's no Droopy, no Screwy Squirrel, certainly no Looney Tunes characters. Apparently, they originally wanted to use his characters, but they couldn't get the rights. Their solution? Make a bunch of new characters inspired by characters from Tex's cartoon shorts, name one of them after Tex, and rely mostly on aping Tex's style. The show premiered in France on September 3rd, 1997 and then aired in syndication in the United States in November. One season of sixty-five episodes was produced.

Each episode of The Wacky World of Tex Avery featured three segments. You had...

- Tex Avery, a cowboy loosely based on a character created NOT by Tex Avery but rather by Bob Clampett - Red Hot Ryder from Buckaroo Bugs. Voiced by the great Billy West, Tex repeatedly faces off against the villainous Sagebrush Sid (also Billy West).

- Pompeii Pete (voiced by Ian James Corlett), a diminuitive Roman centurion who survived a volcano's eruption by being preserved in lava and now lives in the modern world. He doesn't seem to have any trouble adapting and mostly just serves as an way to put a guy named Dan (Alec Willows) through the wringer, whether he deserves it or not.

- Einstone (also Ian James Corlett), an inexplicably German-accented caveman and the world's first inventor. Whenever he tries to teach the other cavemen how to use his inventions, "hilarity" ensues.

- Genghis (Lee Tockar) and Khannie (Cree Summer using her Elmyra Duff voice), a lion and panda cub respectively. Genghis is a warlord trying to conquer places, but wherever he goes, he runs into Khannie, who always manages to foil his plans.

- Freddy the Fly (Billy West again), a hobo fly whose very presence ticks off a fat short-tempered billionaire named Amanda Banshee (Scott McNeil).

- Maurice (Terry Klassen) and Mooch (Maurice LaMarche), a chick and a fox respectively. They're basically just Tweety and Sylvester except they're a chick and a fox instead of a canary and a cat. And also Maurice has a Swedish accent. And also they're not funny. By the way, Tex Avery didn't even create Sylvester or Tweety, I don't think he even directed any Sylvester and Tweety cartoons.

- Power Pooch (Phil Hayes), a dog who gains superpowers after licking a superhero's shoe and fights the forces of evil with his kitten sidekick, Little Buddy (also Lee Tockar).

The Wacky World of Tex Avery is generally regarded as being crap by everyone who's watched it. Apparently it did better outside of the U.S., in places where Tex isn't quite as well-known. Currently, you can find it on Tubi, and I believe it's also airing on the channel MeTV Toons. For years, it's been sitting there begging for me to do a review of it, but I was afraid to. Not just because of how bad I've heard it was, but because I feared that maybe I'd actually wind up LIKING it, or finding it just okay, and that would mean I have weird taste in cartoons. It doesn't help that TV Tropes claims that most people have said it's not that bad. But, regardless, I knew that I would have to do it EVENTUALLY, and after so many reviews in a row of things that I found either okay (Robotboy, The Replacements) or mediocre (The Get-Along Gang), which I've found don't make for particularly funny reviews, I decided that I needed to review something that was supposedly really, really bad, if only to make my blog less monotonous.

Did I enjoy The Wacky World of Tex Avery? Spoiler alert: NO. I mean, for crying out loud, just look at the intro:

I think that summed it up, but today, I did something a little different. I've decided to review TWO episodes, not one, the second one consisting of three different segments than the first. I think this'll help me judge the show better. Or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment, either or. We'll be watching the fourth episode first, then the tenth episode after that. This is The Wacky World of Tex Avery.

Our first segment, starring Tex Avery, is "Bottleneck Bear".

We start off with Tex strolling along, playing a guitar and singing "Oh My Darling Clementine". Before Huckleberry Hound can show up and sue him for copying his shtick, Tex realizes that he's near the house of his much hotter girlfriend Chasity Knott (Kathleen Barr), and he's not gonna pass up the chance to suck face with her.

The 1990s: the decade that told us it was okay to be attracted to a cartoon character.
See also Lola Bunny, Hello Nurse, Jasmine, Esmeralda...

There's just one problem - to get to Chasity's house, he has to walk past the cave of a bear. A bear with an attitude problem.

"I'm surlier than the a-ver-age bear!"

The bear beats the crap out of Tex, then crumples him up into a ball and sends him flying. He lands in a hole occupied by a rabbit who is clearly meant to be Bugs Bunny but he isn't Bugs Bunny because he's owned by another company.

See, he's PURPLE, not grey. That makes him a totally different character!

"I'd like to see him try that again!" Tex claims as he tries to walk by the bear's cave once again. And the bear... well, he doesn't quite try it again. He just EATS Tex. Well, cartoon over. Eh-buh-dee-eh-buh-dee-that's all, folks.

Oh, of COURSE Tex is alive - he's a cartoon character, after all. He's sitting in the bear's stomach, waiting to be digested. Take a look at what the bear's been eating. Yogi Bear just eats the food inside pic-a-nic baskets, this bear has eaten the whole basket, the picnic blanket, an umbrella... dear lord, I wonder if he ate the picnickers too, and we just don't see them because they've already been digested.

And why am I making so many Hanna-Barbera jokes in a show based on Tex Avery's
work?

Tex starts a fire and then escapes through a convenient door in the bear's stomach. I gotta say it, there's an episode of Timon and Pumbaa that did the "bear has a door in his stomach" joke better. Then he fills the bear's stomach with gasoline, causing an explosion. The bear's pretty mad now, but before he can pound Tex, a whistle goes off, prompting Tex to announce a "union break". Then another bear shows up, gives him demerits for not taking a union break, and puts him on probation. Are you laughing yet? I'm not.

We get a chase scene that culminates in Tex getting tossed into the rabbit's hole again, and then Tex decides to dress up like Goldilocks. Apparently, the Bear Union states that if you're a bear, you can't hurt Goldilocks unless she's in your house. Before the bear can even do anything to Tex, his cave gets taken away by the Bear Union. Okay, now I'm honestly on the bear's side. Becoming homeless seems like a pretty harsh punishment.

After that, the bear grabs what he thinks is Tex and shoves a pot of honey on his head. And then a beehive. And then three bowls of porridge. And then he starts hitting him with a club... which Tex hands to him. Uh oh, if THAT'S Tex, then who's he attacking?

"Bamm! Bamm! Bamm! Bamm! Bamm!"

(Look, ANOTHER Hanna-Barbera joke. Why AM I making so many of them?)

As you probably could have guessed, it's that bear from the union who kept giving him demerits. As a result, he has to... become Chasity's maid? I don't get the joke here...

Remember, all you folks unlucky in love: if Tex can get a significant other, one much hotter
than him at that, ANYONE can!

Okay, next segment...

"Sitter Jitters" stars Maurice and Mooch. Maurice's parents are going out for the evening, and they've hired a babysitter for their son. Mooch, eavesdropping, sees this as an opportunity to have him for dinner. So he kidnaps the babysitter and takes her place. Which involves dressing in drag.

If that's a lady, I'm a Vermicious Knid.

After Maurice's parents leave, Mooch heads into the kitchen to get Maurice some ice cream... and also prepare a nice soup to eat the chick in. There are exactly two jokes in this scene: cutting onions makes Mooch tear up, and the chickens' freezer for some reason has a penguin in it. Neither one is funny.

Next, Mooch attempts to whack Maurice with a giant mallet, but fails at it. Maurice assumes that this means his babysitter wants to play "War". I genuinely don't know if he's aware that Mooch wants to eat him and is just playing along so he can subject him to WHACKY SHENANIGANS or if he's genuinely this dumb. I'm guessing it's the first one, that's usually how it goes in cartoons like this.

I don't think I've ever owned a Super Soaker. That's not particularly interesting, but
I couldn't think of anything else to say here.

It's eight o'clock, which means it's time for Maurice's bath. Mooch pours the contents of the soup pot he prepared earlier into the tub, but when Maurice jumps into the hot broth, he's perfectly fine. When a confused Mooch sticks his finger in there, we get a joke that was probably meant to be funny but instead just comes off as painful:

Ouch. And, also, ew.

Question: is it even legal for Mooch to eat Maurice when they're both anthropomorphic? Like, Sylvester and Tweety were still pretty anthropomorphic too, but they were still essentially a cat and a bird. They didn't wear clothes, they were kept by Granny as pets instead of living in houses that they owned themselves, Sylvester's trying to eat Tweety was clearly just cat instinct more than anything. But Maurice and Mooch are clearly just as anthropomorphic as, say, Porky Pig is. Wouldn't Mooch be charged for infantcide? And if he's a legal citizen in a world full of other anthropomorphic animals, isn't there some other way he can get food? Can't he just go to a supermarket or something?

Mooch's next attempt to eat Maurice results in the whole bathroom being flooded, and we get one of those Scooby-Doo-esque gags where the characters run in and out of doors on opposite sides of each other. Long story short, Maurice eventually manages to trap Mooch in his own crock pot, shrinking him down to the size of a Barbie doll.

Declaring that Maurice's parents will be hearing from his lawyer, Mooch storms out of the house... and is promptly attacked by the babysitter he mugged earlier. The end. Let's see what Freddy the Fly is up to...

"Flychiatry" begins with Amanda doing much damage to her dollar sign-shaped house in an attempt to kill Freddy. She really hates flies, more so than anybody probably should. Eventually, some guys in an ambulance show up and drag her out of her house in a straightjacket. I feel like we're being given the punchline to a cartoon without being shown the setup first.

The ambulance also looks like a limousine for some reason? I guess it's supposed to
be a joke about how Amanda is rich? Maybe?

At the mental asylum, a psychiatrist with the voice of the Brain has to listen to Amanda rant for what seems like an eternity about Freddy. He eventually deduces that this fly is nothing more than a figment of her imagination, a manifestation of whatever is bugging her (ba dum kssssh). She dubs herself cured and goes back to her mansion, where she sees Freddy again and thinks that she's relapsing. Thus begins a few minutes of the same joke being told over and over again: she sees the fly, she pinches herself and says that there is no fly, the fly vanishes and she thinks she's just imagining him, lather, rinse, repeat.

I guess this qualifies as a "fly in my soup" gag. They probably felt required to do it
at least ONCE.

Eventually, Freddy calls up the psychiatrist, and when he shows up he realizes that if he can see Freddy too, the fly must be real after all. Amanda does not take that well, and chases him around the house hungry for psychiatrist blood. Fin.

Well, that sucked. Let's watch the tenth episode, which begins with the Genghis and Khannie segment "Greek-a-Boo":

Genghis is a barbarian, crossing the Mediterranean Sea. His crew consists of Attila the Hun lookalikes, and they're planning to conquer Greece.

Apparently, Genghis is inspired by the lion from Tex's 1947 cartoon Slap Happy Lion. I don't
care much for that short - it's one of those cartoons where a smug jerk torments someone
for the heck of it, is always one step ahead of them, is unescapable no matter how hard the
tormentee tries, and winds up getting off scott-free.

Upon arriving in Greece, Genghis proclaims that he'll conquer it using a trick he learned while conquering Troy. He'll use a Trojan Horse... or rather, a Trojan PIG. Pigs are funnier than horses, I guess?

Well, at least it's not a Trojan MONKEY. You know how funny everyone thinks monkeys are...

His plan is to give the pig to the Greeks as a gift, with them hiding inside it, then they'll jump out and conquer 'em. Who answers the door when they attempt it? Khannie, who declares that she'll burn it as a sacrifice to the gods of Olympus. Haven't her parents taught her not to play with matches?

I know Maurice is the Tweety Bird knockoff here, but I can't help but wonder if Khannie
was inspired by him too. They have the exact same head shape.

So she sets it aflame and sends it tumbling down the hill. Greeks: one, Genghis: nada. Next, he builds a Trojan PUPPY, because who could turn down a puppy? Problem is, Khannie says she can't let the giant puppy in until it "does its duty" - or rather, its DOODY. Yes, this show that desperately wants to be Tex Avery's work has toilet humor in it. Nyuck nyuck nyuck.

After emerging from the Trojan Dog's rear end, Genghis and his crew are surrounded by Greek guards, wrapped up in newspaper like fish, and tossed over a cliff. Genghis' next plan is to hide in a giant wooden Statue of Liberty. Khannie puts the statue... where the actual Statue of Liberty is located. Okay, I guess that's... KIND OF funny?

Well, maybe Genghis can conquer New York instead. Or at least see a Broadway show
(I bet he'd love The Lion King).

Upon returning to Greece, Genghis discovers that they can get in simply by finding the key under the welcome mat. They head inside and run into Khannie, who somehow drags them into taking part in her play. After more unfunny jokes, we cut to this fat guy who I'm guessing is supposed to be Zeus, who's watching the play on TV. He dubs the lion an awful actor and cancels the show. The end.

"Ugh, they call THIS a tribute to Tex Avery? I'm watching something else. Maybe
Cow and Chicken is on..."

Next segment...

"Toothpaste Pete" casts Dan as a bank robber, who hides out from the cops in a dentist's office. He tells the receptionist that he has a toothache, so she calls for the dentist's assistant. I'll give you five guesses who that assistant is.

The dentist's waiting room has a potted cactus in it. I'm not sure what the joke there
is, but I'll admit it's sort of funny too, if only for how "out there" it is.

Let's be honest, going to the dentist is awful enough already, but all this short does is demonstrate how much Pete should not be a dentist's assistant, which begs the question as to how he got the job in the first place. He burns a hole in Dan's head, plays his teeth like a xylophone, and while attempting to clean them SCRUBS DAN'S FACE OFF. Congratulations, cartoon, you are making me feel sorry for a BANK ROBBER.

Eventually, Pete manages to remove all of Dan's teeth, and when he complains that he wants them back fills his mouth up with cement and sculpts replacement teeth out of it. Dan runs away screaming, Pete continues to babble in Italian, and I'm still not laughing.

Our third segment stars Einstone.

It's a rainy day in Not-Bedrock. While Einstone is attempting to invent an electric whoopie cushion (I don't know either), the other cavemen are bothered by a leak in their cave's roof. He tells the cavemen to get a lot of tar and meet him on the cave's roof - they'll use the car to cover the leak. But the cavemen just pour the tar all over themselves, and eventually create an even BIGGER hole in the roof out of stupidity. "Zhese morons have zhe I.Q. of a ROCK!" Einstone complains. "On second thought, I doubt zhey're zhat evolved!"

They make Patrick Star, Linda Belcher, Dudley Puppy, Pinkie Pie, Peter Griffin, Ralph Wiggum,
Zapp Brannigan, Stimpy, and Cosmo from The Fairly OddParents look like members of MENSA.

So they try again. First, he puts some sticks, palm fronds, and bricks over the hole. Then he tells the cavemen to pour the tar over it. Instead, they pour it over themselves again. Honestly, Einstone, why did you even bother enlisting their help?

Enraged, Einstone glues the three dimwitted tar-covered cavemen to the cave's roof. Problem solved... oh, wait, there's another leak. Well, no time to worry about that now, Einstone decides to invent the microwave, the dishwasher, and the toilet.

Pictured: where this show belongs.

Blah blah blah, it takes a few minutes to get the cavemen to understand how using a toilet works, and eventually Einstone makes a decent amount of money by making it a pay toilet. "Zhere's no business like BUSINESS business!" he tells us. The end.

What's the Verdict? (Finally!)

Y'know, if this show weren't meant to be a tribute to Tex Avery, I'd probably just brush it off as one of those cartoons that's bad, but not the worst thing I've ever seen. But the fact that it was meant to be a tribute to one of the most influental animators of all time makes it so much worse than it really is.

Ignoring that, as previously stated, it really has nothing to do with Tex aside from one of the characters being named after him, this show feels nothing like Tex's work. It doesn't LOOK like Tex's work - most of that is probably because they used digital ink and paint over the original cartoons' hand-painted backgrounds, but the characters look more like they jumped out of The Ren and Stimpy Show than anything. Second, the jokes suck. There aren't any of the clever sight gags. The dialogue isn't witty at all. Every so often we get a wild take, but they feel very restrained compared to the ones in a Droopy or Red Hot Riding Hood cartoon. Every single attempt at slapstick falls flat. There's barely even any squash-and-stretch! The characters? I can't think of one I actually liked. They're all either dull and unfunny (Tex Avery himself), incredibly annoying (Pompeii Pete), unpleasant (Amanda), or knockoffs (Maurice). The voice actors are trying their best, but even they can't make the characters more fun to watch.

Do you know what this is? Remember those crappy Larry Doyle-produced Looney Tunes shorts Warner Bros. made in the 2000s? Y'know, Museum Scream and Cock-a-Doodle-Duel and the other four? Those shorts that were so bad Warner Bros. cancelled the ones that hadn't been completed yet and decided not to release them in theaters like they'd been planning? Imagine if Larry Doyle and his crew somehow got to be in charge of an Animaniacs reboot. That's The Wacky World of Tex Avery. My suggestion: seek out the cartoons actually made by Tex Avery instead. You can find most of them online (a few are on Dailymotion, some of them are on Vimeo). You'll have far more fun watching shorts like Happy-Go-Nutty, Dumb-Hounded, and Magician Maestro than you will watching this garbage.

To end this review, I looked up the writers of these episodes to see what else they've worked on. They've got pretty impressive resumes... Drew Daywalt wrote for Timon and Pumbaa and Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. Henry Gilroy wrote episodes of 2 Stupid Dogs, Taz-Mania, Jackie Chan Adventures, Kim Possible, El Tigre, and even a lot of Marvel cartoons. Jeffrey Scott worked on DuckTales, TaleSpin, Muppet Babies, Goof Troop, the 1980s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, The Save-Ums!, and Dragon Tales. As for Mike Fontanelli, he seems to be more of an animator than a writer, doing character designs for shows like Tiny Toon Adventures and SpongeBob SquarePants (though he did write two cartoons for House of Mouse). All four of these guys (I couldn't find any information about Michael Patrick Dobbins, he's likely done better work elsewhere too) clearly have talent, so what on Earth happened here?

Further reading:
- A 2011 review of the show by a Mr. Martianinvader
- The Terror of Tiny Toon's 2014 review of the show

And no, I'm not doing a re-review of the show, so don't even ask.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "The Get Along Gang"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

Somebody requested that I review The Get Along Gang, and I am nothing if not a people-pleaser. Unless that person who wants to be pleased is someone who likes Jellystone!, then they're just gonna have to put up with me.

The titular Get Along Gang consisted of six anthropomorphic animal kids: Montgomery Moose (voiced by Sparky Marcus), Dotty Dog (voiced by Bettina "Rainbow Brite" Bush), Bingo Beaver (voiced by a young Scott Menville), Zipper Cat (voiced by Robbie Lee), Woolma Lamb (voiced by Georgi Irene), and Portia Porcupine (voiced by Sherry Lynn). They were first created in 1983 by Tony Byrd, Tom Jacobs, Ralph Shaffer, Linda Edwards, Muriel Fahrion, and Mark Spangler for a series of greeting cards by American Greetings. Loosely inspired by the Our Gang short films, the cards sold well enough for Nelvana to produce a pilot for a cartoon show starring the characters, which aired on Nickelodeon in May 1984. After the pilot, production of the show was handed over to DiC, and the show began airing on CBS. Only thirteen episodes, each one consisting of two segments (making for a total of twenty-six segments in total), were produced before the show was canned and greeting card sales started to decline. Attempts at relaunching the franchise since then have been washes. Sorry, Get Along Gang... we can't all be the Care Bears.

This show was made during that time period in the 1980s when cartoons had to focus mostly on learning valuable life lessons about getting along, working together, group harmony, and things like that. Garfield and Friends writer Mark Evanier talked about this sort of thing on his blog in a post talking about his time working on the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon that premiered a year before (note to self: review that cartoon at some point). Specifically, he said, "There are those our there who attempt to influence the content of childrens' television. We call them 'parents groups', although many are not comprised of parents, or at least not of folks whose primary interest is as parents. Study them and you'll find a wide array of agendum at work... and I suspect that, in some cases, their stated goals are far away from their real goals. Nevertheless, they all seek to make kidvid more enriching and redeeming, at least by their definitions, and at the time, they had enough clout to cause the networks to yield. Consultants were brought in and we, the folks who were writing cartoons, were ordered to include certain 'pro-social' morals in our shows. At the time, the dominant 'pro-social' moral was as follows: the group is always right... the complainer is always wrong. This was the message of way too many eighties' cartoon shows. If all your friends want to go get pizza and you want a burger, you should bow to the will of the majority and go get pizza with them. There was even a show for one season on CBS called The Get-Along Gang, which was dedicated unabashedly to this principle. Each week, whichever member of the gang didn't get along with the gang learned the error of his or her ways." This was what led to the creation of the Buddy Bears in Garfield and Friends, although Mark said that while he did cross swords with Standards and Practices and argued a lot "with one particular lady at ABC", none of this actually inspired the Buddy Bears. "Sometimes when you're a writer and you have strong feelings about something, you just find yourself writing about it," he explained.

So, why is The Get Along Gang so infamous? Why don't we watch an episode of the show and find out? Specifically, we'll be watching the second episode, which consists of the segments "Caboose on the Loose" and "Montgomery's Mechanical Marvel". This is The Get Along Gang.

We start off with Portia and Bingo playing marbles, with Bingo doing some sort of "special super-shot" that sends a marble flying into Zipper's mouth. For some reason, this leads to Zipper nagging Bingo about how betting is "for suckers" - apparently one of Bingo's character traits is that he has a betting problem. Better keep this kid out of Vegas, then.

After that, Montgomery, Dotty, and Woolma show up with some great news: they're having a rowboat race in the park tomorrow, and Montgomery signed up!

It really annoys me that they gave the moose a dog/bear nose. What, a moose can't
be cute if it just has its usual big nose? I believe Disney proved that is false.

Bingo is so sure that Montgomery will win, he tells him that he's gonna get a big surprise ready for after the race. Dotty claims that Montgomery won't win unless he trains, and then Bingo is subjected to WHACKY SHENANIGANS!

"Bingo, what are you doing?"
"Oh, y'know, just hanging around?"
"Boooooooo!"

"How's about you help by not helping, okay, Bungo?" Zipper snaps. Jeez, what is this cat's problem? He's done nothing but chew out Bingo for the smallest of things since the episode started. I know cats in cartoons more often than not have a bad attitude, but Zipper's really starting to annoy me.

We then cut to the show's antagonists, Leland Lizard (Nicky Katt) and Catchum Crocodile (Timothy Gibbs). Catchum is your typical 1980s cartoon bully, the kind who probably would've been the one selling drugs if this show had a "drugs are bad for you" episode. Leland is his wimpy, milquetoast sidekick. You'll notice that they, the bad guys, are reptiles whereas the Get Along Gang, the good guys, consist entirely of mammals. This is because, at this point in the animation industry, reptiles weren't considered cute like mammals are. Unless they were turtles, that is.

I know it's kind of silly to bring realism into a show with talking animals, but why is the
lizard almost as big as the crocodile?

I figured the majority of the episode would be focused on Montgomery training for the race, but instead, we promptly cut to the next day, just as the race is about to begin. Catchum's in the race, too, and because he's a two-dimensional cartoon bully, he's decided that the only way he can win is by cheating - he hides in the water and takes a saw to Montgomery's oar. And believe it or not, he wins the race. I thought cheaters never prospered. Wacky Races lied to me!

And how come nobody noticed Catchum get out of his boat and jump into the water, or the saw sticking out of the water cutting away at Montgomery's oar?

Incidentally, I wrote this review on August 14th - which is World Lizard Day. I swear it's
just a coincidence that I chose to write a review of a cartoon with a lizard in it.

Later, the kids are sitting in their clubhouse moping when Catchum barges in and declares that he's taking over their clubhouse. How does winning a rowboat race give you the right to steal somebody's clubhouse? Well, Bingo made a bet with him that if Montgomery won the race, Catchum would give him ten gallons of "chocolate woodchip ice cream"... but if Montgomery DIDN'T win, Catchum would get their clubhouse.

I think this calls for that clip of multiple people slapping their foreheads in unison...

"Bingo had no right to bet the clubhouse without asking all of us first!" Dotty complains. Can't they just, I don't know, refuse to give Catchum their clubhouse? Somehow, I doubt Catchum would've actually given Bingo the ten gallons of ice cream if Montgomery had won. But according to Montgomery, Bingo's word is the club's word, and so long as there wasn't any cheating, it's a fair bet. "You heard him, Get Along Gang! So GET ALONG!" Catchum snaps.

After the Get Along Gang leaves, Catchum whips out a birthday cake and party hats. I didn't know it was his birthday. Or maybe it isn't and he doesn't know that you're only supposed to put candles on a cake when it's somebody's birthday. Oh, wait, it could be his UNbirthday. In that case, it's fine.

"A very merry unbirthday to me!"

Zipper finds Bingo moping at the dock and points out to him how stupid it was for him to bet the clubhouse. He also reveals that he found Montgomery's oar floating in the water, and Bingo notices that it's been sawed through. Clearly, this must mean that Catchum cheated. Uh, small problem, guys... while we, the audience, know that Catchum is a cheating cheater from Cheatanooga, you don't have any proof that he's the one who sawed through the oar yet. How do you know it wasn't, say, a mischevious trout?

Bingo runs back to the clubhouse and confronts Catchum, who promptly throws the cake at his head... way to waste food, Catchum. Bingo ducks, so the cake hits Leland instead, sending him flying over to the caboose's steering wheel. This somehow causes the caboose to start rolling downhill. Cartoon logic, just go with it...

Meanwhile, Zipper finds Montgomery, Portia, Woolma, and Dotty at the ice cream shop and tells them that Catchum tricked them. That means they have the clubhouse back! That is, if they can stop it from rolling down the track.

"I don't know how, but something tells me this is Bingo's fault..."

The caboose eventually flies off the track and onto a conveniently-placed raft, which travels down the river towards a waterfall - remember, rivers in animation ALWAYS lead to waterfalls. Montgomery manages to polevault aboard, and Catchum tells him that he can have the clubhouse back if he just saves them... then does a 180 and decides to jump off via pogostick. Long story short, the other members of the Get Along Gang manage to save Montgomery and Bingo with a rope.

Now, how will they get the caboose out of the water? Easy - the tracks aren't far, Montgomery points out, so they can just push it there. So, we're supposed to believe that these kids can lift a caboose off a raft and onto dry land, then push it all the way back to the train tracks? Unless all six of these kids are on steroids, I'm calling shenanigans. Especially since the segment ends before we can even see them attempt it.

"Montgomery's Mechanical Marvel" begins with the Bingo, Zipper, Dotty, Woolma, and Portia waiting to see Montgomery's creation for the science fair - apparently, he wins the science fair every year.

"In hindsight, maybe we shouldn't have mounted Montgomery's head to the outside of
the clubhouse."
"But he looks so good up there!"

So what does Montgomery's project turn out to be? A robot. Yes, he actually managed to build a robot. Usually, in cartoons, kids who enter science fairs make paper-mache volcanoes and small stuff like that. This young moose somehow managed to build a ROBOT. A robot who even seems to have artificial intelligence. Forget winning the science fair, Montgomery should be getting a Nobel Prize or something!

He also named the robot "Hermey", presumably after his favorite Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer character.

If he's named Hermey, shouldn't he have an "H" on his sweater instead of an "M"?

Everyone is very impressed by Montgomery's robot. Unbeknownst to them, who should be slithering over to take a peek at his project but Catchum and Leland. Yes, Catchum is entering the science fair too, and once again he's going to cheat. Clearly he learned nothing from the events of the previous segment.

Catchum and Leland spot the Get Along Gang playing baseball with Hermey, and upon discovering that Montgomery built, y'know, a ROBOT, Catchum gets an idea: he'll disguise Leland as a robot. Apparently he's hoping that the judges at the science fair either need glasses or are very, very stupid.

"Doro armigoto, Mr. Roboto!"

Meanwhile, the Get Along Gang take their mechanical marvel into town to get some ice cream, but upon seeing it, an old lady rabbit panics and calls up Officer Growler (Don Messick) about the strange "monster" walking around. He doesn't see Hermey, but he DOES see Leland in his robot costume and thinks that HE'S the monster he was called about. And then he... does nothing about it? Uh, okay then...

We then cut to the science fair. Portia talks to Woolma about all the funny inventions on display there, but we don't actually get to see any of them because I guess there just wasn't enough time in the episode for that. The judges announce that they've narrowed it down to Hermey and Catchum's "robot". Portia and Dotty recognize Leland in that metal getup because, unlike the judges, they're not idiots. But just to make sure he wins, Catchum sneaks backstage and starts sabotaging Hermey, pulling wires out of his back. It's futile, Dotty manages to make Leland sneeze, revealing to everyone that he is not, in fact, a robot. And here's something else that might surprise you: the White House is painted WHITE.

The judges apparently didn't see this, or Catchum and Leland promptly running off. Wow, these guys are even dumber than Bingo. Instead, they just say they'll see Hermey perform first. Since Catchum sabotaged Hermey, this results in WHACKY SHENANIGANS!

Insert reference to that scene from The Exorcist here.

"Hermey's circuits are overloading! There's no telling WHAT he might do!" Montgomery exclaims. Eventually, Hermey starts chasing after Catchum and Leland, cornering them in the ice cream shop, but the Get Along Gang manage to catch him in a snare trap. Portia presses the red button in Hermey's back, shutting the robot off. The day is saved, and Catchum and Leland are punished by being forced to clean up the town. Huzzah.

What's the Verdict?

Y'know, I've said this before, but the hardest reviews to write are the ones of things that are mediocre. It's difficult to make saying "this isn't the worst thing ever but it's not particularly good either" funny.

This is one of those examples. If I could sum up The Get Along Gang in one sentence, I would say this: it doesn't stand out at all. There's nothing here we haven't seen in other 1980s cartoons. Cute animals? Lotta other cartoons starring cute animals from the 1980s. A gang of kids learning life lessons? Potato Head Kids might not have been anything spectacular but it was at least slightly more interesting than this. The characters are dull, the animation is fine but nothing to write home about, and the jokes aren't funny at all. I wouldn't say this show is awful, but unless you're under the age of seven, I would not recommend watching it. There are better cartoons worth your time.

I will say this, though... I didn't notice any of the "complainer is always wrong" thing people say this show was obsessed with in this episode at all. The closest they came was Montgomery saying that the gang would fix whatever problem they had by "working together" or whatever in both segments. Granted, this was an early episode, so maybe it got more prominent as the show went on...