Let's Watch This: An Episode (or Two) of "Potato Head Kids"

Pop quiz - what was the first toy to be advertised on television? Here's a hint: it's also had a balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Need another hint? Okay, how about this: think Idaho. That's right, it's that Steve Harvey lookalike known as Mr. Potato Head!

One of Hasbro's most iconic toys, Mr. Potato Head was invented by a Mr. George Lerner in 1949. Originally, it was just a collection of plastic body parts that kids could stick in a real potato. Because real potatoes eventually rot and nobody wants to play with something that's rotted and smelling like a garbage dump, Hasbro started throwing in a plastic potato to put the parts in. Eventually, Hasbro introduced the bride of Mr. Potato Head, Mrs. Potato Head. Less well-known are the spud's buds Oscar the Orange, Pete the Pepper, Katie the Carrot, Cooky the Cucumber, Mr. Soda Pop, Willy Burger, Mr. Ketchup Head, Mr. Mustard Head, French Fry, and Frankie Frank. From my understanding, these guys were basically the same thing except instead of a plastic potato you put the pieces in a plastic orange, a plastic pepper, a plastic carrot etc.

Mr. Potato Head has done it all. In addition to his appearances in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, he's also received four postal votes to become the mayor of Boise, Idaho. He's appeared in commercials, most of them for snacks made from potatoes (remember those Lay's ads where Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head eat potato chips, with Mr. Potato Head acknowledging that it's cannibalism?). He's had his own comic strip. You can find gigantic versions of him at Walt Disney World. There have been CD-Roms starring him. Over the years, you've been able to get Optimus Prime Potato Heads, Spider-Man Potato Heads, Bugs Bunny Potato Heads, Elvis Potato Heads, Three Stooges Potato Heads, SpongeBob Potato Heads, and even Buzz Lightyear Potato Heads.

Speaking of Buzz, of course the most iconic appearance of Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head in any form of media is their being supporting characters in the Toy Story movies. It's because of these films that we think of Mr. Potato Head as having Don Rickles' voice. But these movies actually weren't the first time Mr. Potato Head has been animated. Like most toys, the character had his own cartoon show in the 1980s - or rather, his KIDS did.

Yes, Mr. Potato Head and his wife had nine little tater tots. For those wondering how potatoes reproduce, I should remind you that potatoes are something you can just plant in the ground and grow - ergo, the Potato Heads could have easily just done that. The show was a collaboration between Hasbro, Sunbow Productions, Marvel Productions, and AKOM and premiered in syndication in September 1986.

The titular Potato Head Kids were named Big Chip (voiced by David Mendenhall), cowboy hat-clad Spud (a young Breckin Meyer), Spike (Scott Menville), bespectacled Smarty Pants (Susie Garbo), Puff (Annie Marie McEvoy), Lolly (Kellie Martin of A Pup Named Scooby-Doo fame), Lumpy (Ina Fried), Dimples (Laura Mooney) and Slick (Scott Grimes). Mr. Potato Head himself (Kenneth Mars) and Mrs. Potato Head (Linda Gary) were supporting characters, as were a gang of villainous potato-hating bullies called Grease's Gang. Twenty-three episodes were made. Oh, and the show was made to be paired with My Little Pony 'n Friends, presumably because they're both Hasbro-owned franchises.

So, CAN you make a cartoon out of a toy potato? Starring NOT the iconic toy potato itself, but rather his KIDS who, to my knowledge, were created for this show? I don't know. But what luck, there are episodes of the show on YouTube! So let's watch the fifth episode, "The Great Candy Caper", and see if Potato Head Kids is... uh, insert some sort of potato pun here.

Please ignore the My Little Pony logo in the top-right corner.

The episode begins with the Potato Head Kids in their clubhouse, working on their newspaper. Because apparently the taters publish a newspaper? Was this set up in an earlier episode?

Anyhow, one of the kids slips on a banana peel, resulting in some WHACKY SHENANIGANS. The banana peel goes flying onto Lumpy's face, throwing him off balance. He falls backwards onto the lever that controls the speed of the newspaper-printing machine, setting it to "VERY FAST". Papers start flying everywhere, and then JUNK starts flying everywhere too, which I guess is supposed to represent the machinery falling apart? We're about a minute in and I have absolutely no idea what's going on.

"Why do we even HAVE that lever?!"

After Big Chip unplugs the machine, Spike and Smarty Pants barge in and say that they have a big exclusive story. I gotta ask, why did Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head name one of their kids "Smarty Pants"? That seems like a pretty mean thing to name your kid. It's also kind of nonsensical since Smarty Pants doesn't actually WEAR pants.

And while I'm asking questions, how does a potato grow hair?

So, what exactly IS Spike and Smarty Pants' story? Lots and lots of candy has been disappearing from the nearby candy factory. Maybe the employees just don't have any willpower? I imagine that if you work at a candy factory, it's probably hard to resist the urge to EAT any of the candy...

Big Chip (I'm just now realizing his name is a pun... Chip as in POTATO CHIP) tells Spike and Smarty Pants to go interview the candy factory owners. Lumpy asks if he can go too, and it's established that Lumpy's shtick is that he loves to eat. And now I'm wondering if these anthropomorphic potatoes have digestive tracts. If not, how do they eat? I guess it's best that we don't think about it too much.

Off to the candy factory they go... which is actually run by Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. So wait, the Potato Heads run both a newspaper publishing company AND a candy factory? The candy factory sales aren't paying the bills already? Or is Potato Head Enterprises just some sort of mega-corporation with a bunch of different businesses, like Disney?

The candy cane-striped columns are a nice touch.

Mr. Potato Head explains that somebody is stealing their candy, but they have no idea who it is or why they're doing it. They've already enlisted the help of the police, but they couldn't find any clues either. "This is getting mysterious," Smarty Pants says. Spike then declares, "But it's about to get as clear as chocolate fudge!" - I have no idea what that means. Chocolate fudge isn't clear. It's actually quite hard to see through it. But despite that, Smarty Pants dubs it important and writes it down.

"Maybe the culprit is a disgruntled Oompa-Loompa. They were so mad when we told them
they were laid off."

"But we had no choice. They kept singing disturbing songs about us every time we made a mistake!
Even when I forgot to flush the toilet, there they were, singing!"

(Do anthropomorphic potatoes have to go to the bathroom? I'm wondering way too much
about anthropomorphic potato biology in this review)

For some reason, Spike grabs a hose that squirts chocolate fudge, which promptly goes haywire (again, for some reason) and sprays Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head with the sticky brown stuff. Now I'm wondering what a chocolate-covered potato would taste like... I know, I know, I'm weird.

"This looks like a job for Lumpy!" Lumpy claims, and then... well, I think I'll just let the screencap speak for itself:

That night, Spike, Lumpy and Dimples (I guess Smarty Pants was busy?) sneak into the candy factory to nab the thieves. Unfortunately, they set off an alarm, alerting Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head that there's someone in their factory, so they think the thieves are back. Uh oh, I smell a misunderstanding heading our way...

"We're gonna catch those thieves red-handed!"

"What color are their hands now?"

Dimples asks Spike in a flirty tone of voice if he's just doing all this to impress her. Wait... is she implying that Spike likes her? Aren't they siblings? Or are they NOT siblings? I'm very confused.

As for Lumpy, he's about to chow down on a chocolate rabbit. And then all of a sudden the three of them are in Candyland and we get a musical number. Because... I guess the episode needed a song in it?

Oh, and I sure hope the thieves don't show up and steal more candy while you're too busy singing to stop them. You're not very good thief-stoppers, Potato Head Kids.

Here's a joke for you: what do you call a potato that's filled with candy? A sweet potato.
Thank you, I'll be here all night...

After that little Big-Lipped Alligator Moment, the three little spuds hear a noise. The candy thieves have returned! Dimple turns on the lights, revealing that the "thieves" are actually Smarty Pants, Big Chip, and Puff. What a twist!

Side note, I wonder if the showrunners were tempted to name one of the kids "Small Fry". I mean, they already named two of 'em "Spud" and "Big Chip", I'd be amazed if nobody suggested it...

"You don't understand! The folks at Mars offered us big bucks if we found out the secret recipe
for Potato Head Chocolate Bars!"

"When we call the police about this, you guys are gonna fry... get it? 'Cause you're potatoes?"

"That's a really morbid joke, Spike."

Big Chip, Smarty Pants, and Puff tell them that they're NOT, in fact, the candy thieves - they snuck into the factory to nab the thieves themselves. Spike and Smarty Pants start arguing over whose story it is. I like how Smarty Pants' argument for why the story is hers is that she can spell better than him. Like that has anything to do with the situation.

Then they turn off the lights, and somebody else sneaks into the factory. This time, it clearly ISN'T any of the Potato Head Kids... judging by the silhouettes, it appears to be four dogs. If THEY'RE the thieves, I guess nobody told them that chocolate is toxic to dogs.

Also, is one of them Rowlf from the Muppet Babies? Maybe he came to get rid of the competition!

One of the Potato Head Kids turns on the lights, and yep, it's four dogs. I can't believe the Pound Puppies have turned to a life of crime.

"Aren't they cute?" Puff swoons, to which Spike snaps, "Cute?! They're the CANDY THIEVES! AFTER THEM!" In his attempt to grab the dogs, Spike winds up falling into a vat of caramel. Then one dog unintentionally turns on the master switch, and instead of helping him as he's made into a confection the other Potato Head Kids just laugh. Some friends.

After some more WHACKY SHENANIGANS, everyone winds up coated in candy just as the Potato Heads are showing up (they sure took their sweet [no pun intended] time getting to the factory). "Your candy factory's been going to the dogs!" Spike quips. So, why exactly WERE the dogs stealing candy from the factory? Never explained. I guess they, being non-anthropomorphic "normal" dogs, just don't realize that a candy factory's supply of sweets isn't an open buffet for anyone who just so happens to be craving a lollipop. The end.

Y'know what? I don't think that episode really gave me a good idea as to what the show as a whole is like. Even though this isn't one of those "each episode is actually two segments in one" cartoons, I'm gonna watch another episode. I think that'll make a fuller review. Let's check out the tenth episode, "Pig Out", and... sorry, still can't think of a good potato-related pun.

"Pig Out" begins with Mr. Potato Head, Big Chip, Spud, Lumpy, and another potato with a graduation cap and glasses named Whiz Kid who I don't recall from the previous episode arriving at a farm. And I need to take a moment and talk about how terrifying Mr. Potato Head's car is. Just LOOK AT IT:

Those lips... those eyes... those TEETH...

Whiz Kid's shtick seems to be that he's very intelligent, judging by his bringing up how windmills generate power. Don't we already have a "smart and nerdy" character in Smarty Pants? Did we really need another?

Speaking of shticks, Lumpy reminds us that he's obsessed with food by claiming that the fresh country air is giving him an appetite. Fortunately, Mrs. Potato Head (who lives at the farm now instead of the house we saw in "The Great Candy Caper" because continuity is for chumps) whipped up some pancakes. NOT potato pancakes, thankfully.

Mr. Potato Head brings up that there's a county fair tomorrow, and Puff suddenly appears as the tater tots are discussing the difference between pigs and hogs. She calls Whiz Kid a big mouth, which makes him a STEAMED potato.

Or maybe I should say a ROASTED RED potato.

We cut to the country fair, and everyone in attendance aside from the Potato Heads is a human, just in case you were wondering if this was like VeggieTales where all of the characters are produce. Do you think the anthropomorphic potatoes get weird looks from the humans in this world, seeing as they seem to be the only walking, talking tubers around? Or does nobody question it, like the Care Bears? Come to think of it, I wonder if any of the local eateries feel awkward about having mashed potatoes or French fries on their menus...

The Potato Head Kids start up another musical number, reiterating what we already learned a few minutes ago: Big Chip is gonna milk a cow, Lumpy is parading around a pig, Puff is baking a pie, Spud is taking part in a rodeo, and Whiz Kid has some sort of invention. And they all want to win a blue ribbon.

Look at the smug expression on that other pig's face. I bet  they're thinking of fat jokes they
can make at Lumpy's pig's expense.

As it turns out, that big musical number was just a fantasy sequence (as was the song in "The Great Candy Caper", by the way) - the fair isn't until tomorrow, and Lumpy's having trouble taming his pig. And what do the other potato kids do? They just laugh at them. Again I say, some friends. But then they fall into the mud. Karma!

That night, Lumpy has a dream about winning a blue ribbon for his incredibly fat pig.

Suddenly, the pig realized that Lumpy was edible - and then the pig realized that
he was still hungry...

Upon waking up from his dream, Lumpy declares that he's starving and heads downstairs for a midnight snack. He finds a pie in the refrigerator that, unbeknownst to him, is the very same pie that Puff baked for the fair. She does not take the revelation that her pie's been eaten well.

The good news is, there's still a little while before the fair, so the potato kids can just bake a NEW pie. They all shout "POTATO!", which is what they always shout whenever they're excited (not as memorable a catchphrase as "Turtle power!", is it?). The pie they whip up looks like this, so apparently they're not as great at baking pies as they think they are...

I take it Puff is very tempted to make Lumpy into a MASHED potato right now.

The fair starts up. Whiz Kid shows off his egg-collecting machine, which (of course) goes haywire for no reason. The judge tells him that he gets nothing, he loses, good day, sir.

Richard Nixon does not approve of Whiz Kid's invention.

Puff's lumpy-looking pie, meanwhile, gets a special prize for "Most Inventive Design". Big Chip gets first prize in the cow-milking competition. As Spud heads off to the rodeo, Lumpy's pig runs off and the other Potato Head Kids chase after it. Eventually, Spud manages to lasso and hog-tie (pun intended) the pig - but since he roped a HOG and not a CALF, no blue ribbon for him either.

I still can't get past the fact that Spud is voiced by the same person who played Jon in the Garfield
movies.

Lumpy's pig is dubbed the fattest hog at the fair, and the episode ends with Whiz Kid trying to fix his machine and getting an egg in his mouth. I've heard of having egg on your face, but this is ridiculous.

What's the Verdict?

Potato Head Kids is... okay. Not good. Not bad. Just okay. Its main problem is that it's pretty generic - the only thing making it stand out from the multiple other "gang of kids" cartoons in the 1980s is that the characters are sentient potatoes. The show doesn't really do much with the fact that it stars Mr. Potato Head and his offspring - maybe they could've thrown in some gags where the characters take off a body part? Like, Spud asks Lumpy to give him a hand and then Lumpy hands him his whole arm? I dunno, I think that would've been funny. Heck, maybe they could've brought in those characters I mentioned earlier - Oscar the Orange, Pete the Pepper, Mr. Soda Pop... had 'em be supporting characters. As is, you could make the characters humans and it wouldn't make much of a difference. On top of that, the Potato Head Kids aren't very interesting characters. Most of them don't have actual character traits. Lumpy loves to eat, Whiz Kid and Smarty Pants are smart, Spud is a cowboy... and what about the others? Also, the songs are pretty bad and grind the episode to a halt. Some shows just shouldn't have musical numbers.

But it's still a well-made show. The animation is alright, the child actors all do a good job as the voices, and there certainly isn't anything awful about it. I doubt it increased sales for Mr. Potato Head toys, but I'm sure kids who watched it liked it.

By the way, this isn't the only show to star Mr. Potato Head. September 1998 saw the premiere of The Mr. Potato Head Show, a puppet show on Fox Kids about Mr. Potato Head and some anthropomorphic food pals of his putting on a TV show. It received thirteen episodes before getting the axe. While there are some who think puppetry is a type of animation, the chances of me looking at it on my blog are the size of a gnat. I haven't seen a single episode but it looks kind of off-putting to me.