Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Kappa Mikey"

I've talked about Nicktoons Network before - in my 2019 review of Corneil and Bernie, to be precise. Since then it's strayed even farther from its original purpose. Currently, the only Nickelodeon cartoon it airs that isn't already still airing on Nickelodeon is the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show. That's it. In fact, if Wikipedia is to be believed, the channel currently only airs seven shows - one of which is live action. I guess one could make the argument that if someone wants to watch those old Nicktoons the channel used to air, they could just use Paramount Plus... but here's the thing: not everyone has Paramount Plus. Not everyone can afford Paramount Plus. Not everyone wants to pay for Paramount Plus just to watch a show that they could once see on TV for free.

But enough of my ranting, let's talk about Nicktoons Network in its heyday. As I've said before, it originally aired some original shows, some of which were made for the network and some of which were acquired programming. And one of those shows, the first half-hour series to premiere exclusively on the network, is one that I usually think of when I think of Nicktoons Network. That show? Kappa Mikey.

Kappa Mikey was the creation of Larry Schwarz. It took the two types of cartoons - American cartoons and anime - and sort of mashed them together. The star was Mikey (voiced by Michael Sinterniklaas), a teenager in America who wins a contest to become the star of a Japanese anime show called LillyMu. His costars are the dimwitted but kindhearted Gonard (Sean Schemmel), who plays the show's main villain, the temperamental diva Lily (Kether Donohue), the shy and polite Mitsuki (Carrie Keranen) who totally has the hots for Mikey, and Pikachu parody Guano (Gary Mack). The show premiered in 2006 and received two seasons.

I think Kappa Mikey's status as a Nicktoons Network-exclusive show (according to TV Tropes, it did air on Nickelodeon itself at one point, but they treated it poorly) is the main reason why it's so obscure nowadays. But I remember liking the show when it was on, so maybe doing a review of it will help it become at least slightly more popular? Maybe? I don't know.

So, which episode do I review? I remember really liking the one where LilyMu becomes a reality show... I'm trying to avoid doing an episode too close to the show's beginning (just in case the show starts out mediocre but gets better as it goes on) but not too close to the show's ending either. How about the twenty-third episode "Uh Oh, Guano"?

What say we get this review started? Or, as they say in Japan, kono rebyū o hajimetara dōdeshou ka? Yes, I had to use Google Translate for that. Please don't judge me.

"Uh Oh, Guano" starts off by showing us an episode of LillyMu. Gonard has captured the good guys and challenged Mikey to a joust, because I guess Gonard is a big fan of medieval times. Apparently, however, he doesn't know that in a joust, both opponents need to have a lance, which Mikey lacks... or maybe he does know that and he just wants to put Mikey at a disadvantage since, y'know, he's the bad guy.

First question in the review: is it ever explained why Gonard has purple skin on LillyMu but a normal skin tone off-camera? Do they just put makeup on him? Do they ever explain it? I don't recall them ever explaining it in any of the episodes I watched... then again, I watched those episodes years ago so I could be misremembering...

"Worst merry-go-round EVER!"

Mikey tricks Gonard into cutting the ropes that bind him with his "cyber-lance", then grabs a signpost to use as a makeshift lance. They wind up charging into each other, then Guano yells "CUT!" and we zoom out to show the camera crew. Mikey complains that he should have a stunt double like his horse.

"DreamWorks wants me to be in that Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron sequel they're
doing? Alright, but tell them I won't do it for less than a billion. And I want only HAY in
my trailer. None of that straw crud they've been pushing my way."

Ozu (Stephen Moverley), the producer of LillyMu, enters and tells the cast that he has wonderful news. "You sold Mikey to a circus?" Lilly asks, her head becoming gigantic as she speaks. I've heard of fame going to your head, but this is ridiculous.

...have I used that joke before?

It's always the blonde girls that are the mean one in these Nicktoons, isn't it? Lilly,
Angelica, Helga, Debbie Thornberry... what do the folks at Nickelodeon have against blondes?

Actually, Ozu's wonderful news is that he is sending the show out for the entire world to see. Finally, people across the entire planet will be able to enjoy LillyMu - and give Ozu their money, of course. "You sold it to every country?!" Gonard exclaims. "South Dakoda? Jupiter? The lost kingdom of El Dorado?" Get it? It's funny because none of those are actual countries (well, maybe El Dorado qualified as one before it went missing, but still).

Ozu says that he's only sold the show to one place - the Republic of Buttstonia. Which in addition to having the word "butt" in its name is also shaped like a butt. And don't worry, they even point this out because subtlety is for ninnies.

"Their main export: fart jokes."

Guano is so excited that his head starts to inflate like a balloon... uh, I don't know why either... only to deflate when Ozu tells him that the show was edited for the Buttstonia audience. Specifically, they redubbed the show to throw in pop culture references.

Okay, I see what this is. This episode is a satire of the English dubs given to anime in the 2000s. Is anybody here familiar with 4Kids Entertainment?

You might remember them as the guys who made the Viva Pinata show. Their biggest claim to fame is taking anime and giving them English dubs and airing it on American TV stations. Anime fans do not like their dubs, with reasons ranging from clumsy censoring to replacement of the original music to "Americanization" of references to Japanese culture. Eric Stuart, the voice of Brock from Pokemon, explained at a convention that this was due to American culture having different sensitivities regarding content compared to Japanese culture and the original Japanese production companies wanting their shows to be distributed worldwide and international audiences to relate to the shows easier. I'm afraid I can't comment much on 4Kids' dubbing practices myself since the only anime I've ever really watched is Pokemon. I don't recall their dub of that ever making references to Catherine the Great and Star Wars, though.

The LillyMu cast's reaction to what Buttsonia did to their show is this:

"THEY VIOLATED MY ARTISTIC VISION!" Guano roars - I should've mentioned this earlier, in addition to being on the show he's also a writer for it. And then he's suddenly wearing a diaper. It's a comfort thing.

If he's embarrassed now, just wait until he finds out what "guano" actually means...

So what do Mikey, Gonard, Mitsuki, and Lilly get for being international superstars? They get the native currency of Buttstonia - BUTTS! It's like money, but it's shaped like butts! Butts, butts, butts, butts, butts!

"Ever heard of 'paying through the nose'? Well, now you can pay through the BUTT!"

How much are butts worth in Yen? Nothing, it turns out. The good news is, Ozu is going to sell LillyMu to America next - which means that all of Mikey's friends back home will see what a huge star he is. Apparently, he tried to tell them before, but they didn't believe him because of his long history of lies and deceit immediately demonstrated by his calling up somebody and claiming that he invented doors.

Then we cut to this...

After that, Gonard tries to spend the butts he received on stuff like a camera and a baby. Lilly has to tell him that people in Japan don't pay for things with butts, but Gonard doesn't quite get it. "Touch them! Touch my butts!" he shouts. Butts are funny, right? Please laugh.

Fortunately for Gonard, he then runs into this guy from Buttstonia. You can tell he's from Buttstonia because he has a huge butt. And yes, I am indeed going to give you a screencap of it. Sorry...

Sir Mix-a-Lot would love this guy...

The Buttstonia guy is so impressed by Gonard's having so many butts that he offers to become Gonard's servant. Could we please go back to the 4Kids satire? I find that much more interesting than the countless butt jokes.

Meanwhile, Mikey is sitting down with Mitsuki, Lilly, and Guano to watch the American version of LillyMu. Guano sobs over the fact that his work was butchered by people who think references to Star Wars are automatically hilarious. This must be how Kaja Blackley and Vanessa Chong (Google 'em) felt when they watched Monkeybone.

Also, I should mention this now... Mikey looks like Phillip J. Fry. Not identical, but the hairstyle is very similar.

"Shut up and take my money!"

To Mikey's dismay, America re-edited the show as well - to make it seem like Guano is the star. They renamed it Mighty Go Go Guano and everything. Must be because he's the cute animal-esque character and everybody loves cute animal-esque characters. And just like Buttstonia, they even redubbed the dialogue, though they resisted the urge to add pop culture references.

"How could they do this?! I'm not even in the show anymore!" Mikey moans. Actually, it turns out, he IS still in the show... as a Tinker Bell knockoff in pointy elf shoes. Well, it could've been worse... they could've shoehorned in an obnoxious stop-motion monkey voiced by a presumably desperate for money John Tuturro. Seriously, what was Henry Selick thinking?

Some screencaps really don't need captions. They just speak for themselves.

And sure enough, the reason why they made Guano the star is because they want to sell Guano dolls. "Why must you be so marketable?" Mikey asks Guano, who says that he's mad too because they mutilated his show. Ozu enters the room and says that Guano is going to be on a talk show in one hour - and he better not blow it.

"WHERE DID YOU HIDE MY NOSE, GUANO?!"

Mitsuki and Lilly check in on Gonard and find the Buttstonia guy washing his feet. He fills them in as to what's going on, and Mitsuki protests that he can't exploit some poor guy and make him his servant. "You're just jealous 'cause I put my butts to good use," Gonard claims.

Oh, no, Guano hid Mitsuki's nose, too.

Lilly, meanwhile, decides to turn the Buttstonia guy into HER servant. I do hope this leads to a moral about how exploiting foreigners for personal gain is wrong.

And now, another weird transition!

Guano is freaking out before his big interview because he has a serious case of stage fright. "Everyone will be watching me! Judging me! Smelling me!" he whimpers. We get a fart joke (I was wondering how long that would take seeing as we've gotten, what, seventeen butt jokes so far?), and Guano laments that he's terrified of being in the public eye - even more than he's terrified of lightning, feathers, or antique furniture. He begs Mikey to do the interview for him.

"HELP ME, MIKEY! I'M BEING STALKED BY A KID WHO WANTS TO PUT ME IN
SOMETHING CALLED A 'POKEBALL' AND MAKE ME FIGHT MONSTERS!"

Mikey says that he's got an idea that'll solve both their problems. But before we can find out what it is, we cut to Gonard and Mitsuki finding out about Lilly making the Buttstonia guy HER servant. Mitsuki calls them out for exploiting the Buttstonia guy, but they (of course) ignore her.

"I should've taken up that job with Yu-Gi-Oh..."

So what was Mikey's plan to help Guano not have to go on the talk show and have everyone in America see how cool he is? He dresses up in a Guano costume and easily charms the studio audience by beatboxing and scatting. It's a good thing this wasn't a live interview or else everyone probably would've wondered why Guano was so large.

Incidentally, that's a pretty impressive costume. Its mouth moves when Mikey talks. Even Disney had difficulty perfecting that technology.

I'm guessing that guy is supposed to be a caricature of someone, but I don't know who
it is...

About halfway through the interview, Mikey takes off his Guano head and reveals himself to the people of America. He claims that HE'S the actual star of LillyMu, not Guano, and that Guano is a recluse who would never "come on this show and charm it up".

"Why, yes, I did indeed skin Guano to make this costume. And I'm not ashamed of it at all!"

Mikey's plan backfires - the host of this talk show is intrigued by Mikey's claim that Guano is "so mysterious" and wants to know more about him. He doesn't even remember Mikey's name.

And how's Guano doing? Well...

After having a chat with Gonard and being trampled by paparazzi, Mikey discovers that Guano has gone completely insane. Then it's revealed that Mitsuki has also made the Buttstonia guy her personal servant. What a hypocrite. On the bright side, thanks to their exploiting of him, the Buttstonia guy is now the richest person in Buttstonia, and he's heading back home to buy a castle, leaving Gonard, Mitsuki, and Lilly without a servant. Wah wah wah wah waaaaaaaaah...

As for Guano, he slowly becomes less and less sane by the second, but Mikey assures him that he's got a plan to get the reporters off his back. That plan is to throw him into the hot air balloon that the Buttstonia guy is using to leave Japan. "He's going to live a life of solitude in the caves of Buttstonia!" Mikey tells the reporters. "He just wanted his peace, and YOU drove him MAD! I hope you're HAPPY!" They'll just have to get a new Guano for the show... how about the Guano who just so happens to be having a picnic nearby, and who promptly earns the reporters' scorn by beatboxing?

Okay, wait, wait. I'm confused. How did Guano get down from the hot air balloon so fast?

Or is this Guano an imposter?

Mikey explains once the reporters leave that the Guano he threw into the hot air balloon was a decoy - specifically, Ozu's wacky assistant Yes Man (Jesse Adams) in a Guano costume. Now he's off to Buttstonia... at least until he's knocked out of the hot air balloon and lands in the ocean.

So Guano doesn't have to worry about the paparazzi anymore. There's no mention of what happens to LillyMu in America now that everyone's rejected the "new Guano", but I assume it gets cancelled. So now Mikey doesn't have to deal with the humiliation of being made into a Tinker Bell knockoff. Or maybe he just has to suck it up, I don't know.

What's the Verdict?

This episode is a mixed bag. There are a lot of jokes here that are indeed very, very funny. Whenever Guano screams, in particular, is hilarious, and I liked the satire of how America treated anime in the 2000s. But for every joke that works, there's a joke about butts. Way, way too many jokes about butts. Maybe the writers' visions for the episode conflicted? Like, one of them wanted satire and the other was all "More butt jokes!"?

But as a whole, there's more good here than bad. The voice actors all do a good job, I liked the characters, and the animation is... okay. Not great, but not awful. I don't regret watching this at all, in fact I now want to seek out more episodes of Kappa Mikey. I just hope the other episodes don't have as many jokes about butts.

Side note, a major complaint I've seen about the show is that it doesn't do much with the "putting an American cartoon character in a Japanese anime" idea. And, yeah, I can understand that. I don't recall them ever actually putting much focus on the fact that Mikey is American compared to the rest of the characters' being Japanese, nor is much fun poked at anime characters. So I'm not sure if I would recommend the show to a lot of anime fans. But if you want to watch Kappa Mikey for yourself, you can find episodes on YouTube. Hurry, though - you never know when Viacom might take 'em down.

Let's Watch This - An Episode of "Yakkity Yak"

It's funny how memory works. Every single time I've had to do a division problem, I have no idea how to do it despite the fact that I've done it before. And yet, I remember a whole bunch of things that didn't involve subjects I learned in school. For example, I remember that at least one advertisement for this show began with the announcer exclaiming, "Nickelodeon is getting stupid!"

Now chances are that you're thinking, "What show is he referring to?" Well, I'll give you a hint: it's named after a song. And I was introduced to this show before the song, so I thought that the song came from the show as opposed to the show being based on the song.












Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it: the show that we're reviewing today is Yakkity Yak.

Yakkity Yak is an Australian-Canadian cartoon that premiered on Teletoon and Nickelodeon (only in Australia, apparently, but it must've aired on the US Nickelodeon at SOME point if I remember watching episodes of it) in 2002. One season was produced before it got the ax, then banished to Nicktoons Network for a few years before winding up in the Pit of Obscure Nickelodeon Shows alongside shows like The Xs and The Brothers Flub. Apparently, kids looked at a show about a talking yak whose best friend is a kid with a pineapple for a head and thought, "This looks stupid." I'm guessing that straight-up saying in the ads that by airing this show Nickelodeon was "getting stupid" probably didn't help make the show look watchable.

Does Yakkity Yak hold up? Let's find out! Today we'll be taking a look at the episode... hmmm, let's see, which episode do I watch today? Maybe the one where Yakkity becomes an accurate weather forecaster... due to his grandmother's weather-predicting bunions*? Uh, no thank you... how about "The Yak and the Hat"?

Okay, so "The Yak and the Hat" begins with Yakkity (Lee Tockar) and his pineapple-headed best friend, Keo (Brian Drummond) at school. Keo, who kind of sounds like Cartman by the way, keeps answering the teacher's questions while Yakkity takes a nap. He starts drooling (ugh) and we get a look inside of his dreams.

I know this might be considered a nitpick, but why does Yakkity have antlers?
He's a yak, not a moose. Yaks don't have antlers. They have horns. Horns
that look nothing like antlers.

In his dream, Yakkity is a big movie star walking the red carpet. A reporter asks him a question - the very same question that the teacher called on him to answer, waking him up. Before Yakkity can think of the answer, Keo answers it, which makes the teacher ask, "Yakkity, why can't you be more like Keo?" Well, for one thing, Mr. Teacher, he doesn't have a pineapple for a head.

No, seriously, what exactly is the deal with  Keo having a pineapple for a head? Is he a mutant? Did he eat a pineapple-flavored Fruit Gusher? Is he a human with a pineapple for a head or a pineapple with a body or WHAT? How did they even come up with this idea? Did somebody say, "Hey, let's give this one character a pineapple for a head!" "Why?" "Well, SpongeBob lives in a pineapple, and everybody loves SpongeBob. Maybe if we include a pineapple somewhere in OUR show, it'll become as popular as SpongeBob!" "My God, it's GENIUS!"

Okay, moving on... we then cut to that night at Yakkity's house. Apparently, Yakkity and his grandmother invited Keo and his dad over. Keo's dad, as it turns out, is a pineapple with a face - no body, just a face. This just raises further questions.

So anyway, Yakkity's grandmother is knitting a hat, and Keo's dad (who sounds like Homer Simpson) is watching a game show called Who Wants to Win a Bunch of Money. Keo manages to correctly guess the answers even when the contestants can't, showing once again just how smart he is. And then we get a demonstration of just how dumb Yakkity is. Nyuck nyuck nyuck nyuck nyuck...

He also has a stereotypical dumb-sounding voice, just in case you didn't get
that he was supposed to be one of those cartoon characters that is also a
massive idiot.

After Keo gets him unstuck, Yakkity suggests that Keo try out for that game show, but Keo says that he can't because the TV studio is too far away. But then the show's host tells the audience that the show will be coming to their home town, Onion Falls, next week. Ze odds, vhat are zhey?

Alas, Keo is too nervous to do it - doesn't Yakkity remember what happened when Keo won the school history contest? Apparently, he was too afraid to go onstage and accept the award due to stage fright, so Yakkity had to accept it for him. Then Yakkity announced that he'd be thanking the audience on Keo's behalf with a little "rock-em sock-em stand-up comedy"... and promptly got pelted with fruit. Hopefully none of that fruit was a relative of Keo's.

"If only there was a way to combine your know-it-all-noggin with my complete inability to feel shame in front of others!" Yakkity says. Then Keo gets an idea involving the hat Yakkity's grandmother was knitting...

Cut to the game show. The host introduces Contestant Number One, a candy store owner by the name of Mr. HighPants.

His pants have sleeves. Wouldn't that technically make it some sort of bodysuit?

Then he introduces the next contestant, Yakkity. The plan, apparently, is having Keo hide inside the hat, and Yakkity wear the hat, so that Keo can give Yakkity all the answers to the questions that the host asks him. There's a word for this in game shows... what's it called again? Oh yeah, cheating.

"I sure hope the Cat in the Hat doesn't sue us for copyright infringement..."

The host asks Yakkity what the story is with his hat. Yakkity replies that sometimes, his hat sneezes. Uh, okay. "Well," the host says, "I've heard of a THINKING cap, but never a SNEEZING cap!" The audience starts laughing. I, on the other hand, am just sitting here unamused. In fact, at no point thus far has this show gotten a laugh out of me.

I figured that I should include a screencap of the host, so here he is.
Nice hairstyle, eh?

So the game begins. Yakkity keeps getting each question right due to Keo's giving him the answers, and soon the host is declaring him their new champion. Of course, he'll have to come back tomorrow for ROUND 2 of Who Wants to Win a Lot of Money.

At school the next day, Yakkity is talking to Keo about how great it is that they're going to win a whole lot of money and do cool things with it. For example, maybe he could buy himself an actual personality so he won't just have "idiot who sucks at stand-up comedy" as a character trait. The other kids are really impressed by Yakkity's smarts, to the point that they dub him even smarter than Keo. This, of course, does not make Keo happy.

Keo's lips are freaking me out.

After Round 2, which Yakkity wins, Keo volunteers Yakkity to answer the teacher's question of "What is the meaning of life?" in order to prove to the class that Yakkity is not, in fact, essentially Albert Einstein and Issac Newton combined.

Don't we all, Zoidberg. Don't we all...

So anyway, Yakkity admits that he doesn't know the answer, which pleases the teacher, as "a true genius is always willing to admit what he doesn't know." "In that case, I am one brainy dude!" Yakkity exclaims, which makes Keo understandably quite frustrated. I mean, Yakkity calling himself "one brainy dude" is like having Leonard Hofstader call himself the coolest person in the world.

After school, Yakkity comes by Keo's house in a truck to drop off Keo's share of the winnings. Keo is excited - that is, until he finds out that the truck isn't full of money. It's full of...  get ready for this... CHEESE. And not just any cheese... INCREDIBLY SMELLY cheese. Because as we all know, just like monkeys, farting, and shouting at the top of your lungs, cheese and things being smelly are automatically hilarious.

Cheese: winning it is only exciting if you're a cartoon mouse.

You see, as Yakkity was leaving the bank with the money that he and Keo won from the game show, he ran into some guy who had a lot of cheese and gave him all of the money in exchange for the cheese. Because as we've established, he's an idiot. "How could you blow all of our winnings without consulting me?!" a rightfully angry Keo demands. "I'M THE BRAINS!" "Well, I'M the personality! And maybe I don't NEED brains!" Yakkity replies stubbornly. Yeah, maybe you don't need brains, Yakkity... after all, you got along just fine before the game show WITHOUT brains.

Apparently, there's one more round of Who Wants to Win a Lot of Money that Yakkity needs to win tomorrow, and Keo tells him that he's not going to help Yakkity cheat his way to victory anymore. So, in the next round, Yakkity has cheese under his hat (for some reason) instead of Keo, and his opponent is... let's make a game out of it, shall we?

Is Yakkity's opponent...
A) Keo
B) Somebody other than Keo
OR C) Somebody other than somebody other than Keo who still isn't Keo

If you guessed A, congratulations! Apparently, wanting to stick it to Yakkity trumps stage fright for Keo.

I don't know why, but I love Keo's expression here. You can tell that he's just
as fed up with Yakkity's bullcrap (or should that be YAKcrap?) as I am.

Alas, Keo's stage fright prevents him from answering any of the questions (unless "Ummm..." qualifies as an answer in your book). Meanwhile, Mr. Idiot Yak answers every question with "Cheese?" When the show pauses for a commercial break, Yakkity angrily says that Keo is making him look like a fool. "You're wearing a hat made of cheese. You ARE a fool," Keo replies. I was gonna say "You don't need Keo to make you look like a fool", but I like Keo's comment better. Then, unaware that a cameraman is recording him at the moment, Keo points out that Yakkity would've never won all those previous rounds in the first place if it weren't for the fact that he was hiding in his hat and giving him all of the answers. Uh oh...

The host demands that Yakkity and Keo give them all the money that they won back. Too bad Yakkity stupidly blew it all on cheese.

Then we, um, cut to a different game show, this one a Survivor parody called Survival of the Grossest. The host tells us that tonight on the show, Yakkity and Keo will eat a hat full of cheese in order to win a big cash prize. Apparently, they're planning on giving the prize money to the people in charge of Who Wants to Win a Bunch of Money. The end.

A yak who looks more like a purple moose in a fur coat than a yak and a kid
with a pineapple for a head and incredibly red lips eating melted cheese out of a
knitted hat on a tropical island. I should be weirded-out by this, but eh, I watched
Squirrel Boy so this sort of thing really doesn't surprise me anymore.

I gotta admit, I was expecting Yakkity Yak to suck. It certainly didn't LOOK like a particularly good show. But it was actually better than I thought it would be. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not a GOOD show. It's not funny, Yakkity is really annoying and not endearing in the slightest, and all the cheese grosses me out. But it's not a BAD show, it's just... mediocre. I wouldn't recommend watching it, but I've seen far worse cartoons.

Boy, most of my reviews are starting to sound the same, aren't they? Squirrel Boy, Corneil and Bernie, Ned's Newt, Class of 3000, this... I review way too many cartoons that are just mediocre. And mediocre cartoons don't really make for particularly funny reviews. Ah well, maybe I'll get more joke material out of the next cartoon that I review... what's next on the list?

Ummmmmmmm...

* I did not make that up. That was an actual episode.

Let's Watch This - An Episode of "Corneil and Bernie"

When I was younger, there was a channel called Nicktoons Network.

Now, technically this channel is still around today, but it's a tad different. It was launched in 2002 as a place for Nickelodeon cartoons - or "Nicktoons", as they're usually called - that weren't airing on the network anymore. It's because of this channel that I was introduced to shows like Rocko's Modern Life, Hey Arnold, and The Angry Beavers. Then at some point in the 2010s, things changed. Now it's pretty much just a channel that shows the same shows as Nickelodeon. It's even aired live-action things at some point. Oh, sure, it IS airing a couple shows at the moment that don't air on Nickelodeon anymore... three of them, to be specific: Back at the Barnyard, the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Sanjay and Craig. That's it. No reruns of The Penguins of Madagascar or The Wild Thornberrys or T.U.F.F. Puppy or anything like that anymore.

But hey, at least we have TeenNick's NickRewind block (or as it used to be called, NickSplat, or as it was called before that, The Splat, or as it was called before THAT, The 90s Are All That)! Even if it, as of writing, now only airs three shows. Hopefully that changes at some point.

In addition to the reruns, Nicktoons also, in its heyday, aired some original content - some made for the network, others acquired programming. For example, it introduced us Americans to Kappa Mikey, The Secret Show, Edgar and Ellen, Martin Mystery, Shuriken School, Kaput and Zosky, and the show we'll be looking at today: Corneil and Bernie.

What, exactly, is Corneil and Bernie? Well, it's a French cartoon also known as Watch My Chops (whatever that means) about a dog named Corneil much smarter than most people. He can talk, read, write, and surf the internet. Meanwhile, Bernie is a moron who finds out that Corneil can talk - but Corneil is afraid to let anyone ELSE know that he can talk, so Bernie is entrusted to keep his secret. Between 2003 and 2006, two seasons were produced, then in 2014 the show came back with new episodes, but I'm not sure if those episodes ever aired in the United States.

I remember watching at least one episode of the show when it was on Nicktoons, but that was years ago. Does the show still hold up? Let's watch an episode and find out!

Specifically, we'll be watching the episode "Jungle Panic".

Oh, my mistake... it's actually "JungLe PaniC"...

After the theme song, we discover that "Jungle Panic" is, in addition to being the name of the episode, a game show that Bernie likes to watch. There's just one rule - survive for a week on a tropical island. Bernie wants to be on the show, but he's apparently too stupid to write an application himself, so he asks Corneil to do it. This causes Corneil to, uh, have flashbacks to the Titanic... oh-kaaaaaaaaaay.

But then Bernie mentions that he'll be on the show for a whole week. A whole week without this idiot around to drive Corneil nuts sounds good, so Corneil changes his tune and writes up that application.

Why does Corneil's couch look like a giant purple nacho?

After mailing the application, Bernie gets a call from the guy that runs Jungle Panic, who says that he can be on the show - but on one condition. Corneil has to come too. For some reason. "You're so lucky I sent in a copy of this picture!" Bernie exclaims, holding up a picture of them.

I'm just now realizing how much Corneil looks like Odie from Garfield...

"Bernie, there's no way that I'm leaving this apartment for some bug-infested jungle without water or electricity!" Corneil snaps. He's not changing his mind. "No" means "no".

Alas, the Gilligan Cut does its thing and we then see Corneil and Bernie about to board the ship that'll take them to the island. They bid a fond farewell to Bernie's... parents, I think? Anyway, they bid a fond farewell to them and head off on the boat despite how much Corneil doesn't want to. On the island, they are given a speech from some army general wannabe guy. "If there is a problem, set off your distress player and we'll come and get you! BUT, you'll be out of the game!" he barks. "Good luck."

Blue-Haired Idiot is all "Isn't this cool?!", then Corneil notices a camera hidden in a tree. In fact, there are MULTIPLE cameras scattered around the island. "The whole world could discover my secret at any moment!" the dog exclaims. But because Bernie is an idiot, he still refuses to give up and let them go home.

Unlike the other contestants, Bernie doesn't seem to give a rat's tail about building a shelter or finding food or whatever. Fortunately, Corneil has an idea - he'll simply drive the other two contestants off the island, meaning that Bernie will win and they can go home. It's GENIUS!

He manages to freak out one contestant with their distress flare, then lets the other contestant hear him talk and convince him that he's gone insane.

I love the pose and expression on this guy here.

Meanwhile, Corneil's idiot owner is hungry. He sees a bird (not sure what kind... it's hard to tell with this art style) and chases after it.

I'd probably run like heck too if this guy were chasing after me.

Okay, so as it turns out, Corneil's plan wasn't to get rid of the other contestants so that Bernie could win... it was to get rid of them, then tell Bernie that the island is dangerous and that they should leave now. But Bernie refuses - they came there to win, and that's what he's gonna do. "So THAT'S your survival plan?!" Corneil demands. "YOU CAN'T EVEN WRITE A LETTER WITHOUT ME, SO HOW DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO SURVIVE IN A JUNGLE?!"

"YOU THINK YOU CAN GET ALONG BETTER WITHOUT ME, DO YA?!" Bernie replies. "ALL RIGHT, CORNEIL... FROM NOW ON, IT'S EVERY MAN... OR DOG... FOR HIMSELF!" Corneil is just fine with that. As am I. He'll likely do better without this moron around.

Then it starts raining, because of course it does.

Day 2 of Jungle Panic and Bernie is putting all of his energy into winning. "But Bernie is going to have to overcome some daunting challenges if he's going to win!" the host announces. For example, building a hut... which he fails at. And making a fire... which he attempts to do in the rain. Ice Age did this joke better. Just saying.

Now let's see how Corneil is doing...

Pretty darn well, I'd say.

Bernie goes begging Corneil for help. Corneil wants to make a deal with him - all Bernie has to do is set off his distress flare and he can have some of Corneil's food. Bernie agrees, but the distress flare winds up going out of control, destroying a camera and Corneil's burrow. Fish Lips is more concerned that now he can't have any of Corneil's food.

Bernie admits that Corneil was right and that he can't do it on his own. Corneil says that he'll help Bernie, but first they have to get rid of the cameras... which they accomplish by pelting mud at them.

Look at the clashing art styles... Corneil looks like he was designed by Bob Kurtz (I think it's mainly the eyes) and Bernie looks like he came from a Klasky-Csupo cartoon.

The guy who runs Jungle Panic sends paramedics to the island, where they discover Corneil and Bernie with a small cabin and a windmill.

And a strangely-colored palm tree, too.

One of the paramedics tells Bernie that a crew will be coming to fix the cameras. After they leave, Corneil becomes angry - he and Bernie agreed that they would go back on the first boat. But Bernie is, as we've established before, an idiot and STILL wants to win. And just to add insult to injury, the mud on one camera has dried up and comes off, zooming in on Bernie just as he's talking to Corneil about how he can talk and no one is watching them and how he built the cabin.

Seeing this on TV, Bernie's... again, I think that's his dad but I could be wrong... calls up Jungle Panic and informs them that Bernie's now as mad as a March Hare and begs them to do something. Soon Corneil is in a raft that's about to head off for home, watching two crew members drag Bernie onto the raft protesting that he's not crazy. The end.

This is another show that I'm gonna put in the "okay" category. I like Corneil. Bernie can get kind of annoying, but I can stomach him for the most part. The show isn't a laugh riot, but it IS kind of funny. There isn't much I can say about it aside from "it's okay".

NOTE: After watching the episode, I did some research and found out that those two aren't Bernie's parents, nor is Corneil Bernie's dog. They're Corneil's owners, and Bernie is merely his pet-sitter.

P.S. I still don't know what "Watch My Chops" means.