Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Speed Buggy"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

It's been too long since I've reviewed a Hanna-Barbera cartoon. Let's fix that, shall we?

Speed Buggy is another cartoon that owes its existence to Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?. As we've established, that show's popularity led to many, many other cartoons about at least three teenagers and something out of the ordinary - a talking dog, a talking shark, a ghost - solving mysteries. This time, the Fred, Daphne, and Shaggy clones were teamed up with a talking car voiced by Mel Blanc. Other inspirations for the show were Disney's 1968 film The Love Bug and Speed Racer.

The show was created by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera and premiered on CBS in September 1973. One season, consisting of sixteen episodes, was produced. Like most of the Scooby-Doo cash-grabs made during this time period, it didn't reach that show's level of success (though critics apparently liked it). Over the years, it's rerun on channels like Cartoon Network and Boomerang, and Speed Buggy has made cameos in other shows like Johnny Bravo, Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated, and Futurama.

Our main characters: Speed Buggy, Mark, Debbie, and Tinker.

I've watched most of the Scooby-Doo cash-grabs for this blog. As a rule of thumb, the more similar to Scooby-Doo they are, the lousier they are too. Fangface was mediocre at best, and Goober and the Ghost Chasers had nothing going for it. On the flip side, I thought The Funky Phantom was worth a watch, mostly for the Funky Phantom himself. Jabberjaw was okay. I've actually watched several episodes of Speed Buggy before doing this review, and I think it's probably the best of the Scooby-Doo clones. Of course, there are still a lot more that I need to review (I'm sure I'll do Clue Club at some point). Why do I say that? Well, let's watch the eleventh episode of the show, "The Ringmaster", and I'll go into more detail on why Speed Buggy is better than you might think...

The episode starts off with Speed Buggy and his pals Mark (voiced by Michael Bell), Tinker (Phil Luther Jr.) and Debbie (Arlene Golonka) racing in the Bayou 500. You'd think a race in the bayou would involve boats as opposed to cars, what with most of the bayou being water. Of course, Speed Buggy is not an ordinary car. Even aside from the whole "he can talk" thing, Tinker has outfitted him with all sorts of gadgets and abilities. See, he's TOTALLY different from Shaggy - Shaggy isn't a mechanic!

As for Mark and Debbie, yeah, they're pretty much just Fred and Daphne 5.0, but there's one thing worth noting... Debbie is the leader of the team, not Mark. I think there's still ONE episode where she gets captured by the bad guy, but that's it. To be fair, though, Daphne didn't get captured that much in the original show either.

Sure, the Mystery Machine is more iconic, but can it DRIVE ON WATER?

"Keeping us on course in this swamp is like looking for a needle in a wet haystack!" Debbie groans, looking at the map. Then we cut to... a circus tent? Set up in the middle of a swamp? Who are the Ringling Brothers expecting to come see the show, Shrek?

From out of the tent emerges the titular Ringmaster. He plays a pan flute and some animals emerge from smaller tents in front of him: an elephant, a giraffe, a zebra, a gorilla, a cheetah, and a crocodile. The giraffe has a video camera on its head and makes sounds like an injured bird. Y'know, as giraffes often do.

That's an awfully small crocodile. Maybe it's actually a caiman?

The giraffe's video camera, it seems, is there to alert the Ringmaster of anyone approaching his island. And when he sees that Speed Buggy and his compadres are on their way, he is not pleased. You'd think he'd be happier to see what could just be paying customers - I mean, obviously this guy is up to something EEEEEEEEE-VIL, but they have no way of knowing that yet. Paranoid much, Ringmaster?

"Ugh. I've always liked Captain Caveman better."

To prevent the kids' arriving on his island, the Ringmaster raises the drawbridge... which only goes up AFTER Speed Buggy and his friends drive over it. I'm not sure if it's still cool to say "EPIC FAIL", but that's the perfect way of describing what just occured. They drive right up to the guy and he demands to know in his weird accent I can't figure out (I want to say British, but I genuinely have no idea) what they're doing on his island.

Sir Topham Hatt does not approve.

"Don't get uptight, Napoleon! Just give us some directions and we'll leave your precious island!" Debbie declares. Dang, that's a pretty gutsy thing to say. I guess now we know why Debbie's the one who wears the pants in this quartet. Although I'm not sure "Napoleon" is the wittiest thing to call this guy, seeing as he's much taller (unless he's wearing stilts under those pants. That's a distinct possibility).

"You can't leave! You've seen too much!" the Ringmaster snaps. What do you mean they've "seen too much"? They haven't seen anything outside of you. They just got there! They haven't given you any indication that they've noticed the tents, or the animals, or your trapeze artists and clowns assuming you even have them. Speed Buggy tries to drive away, but the Ringmaster orders the animals to stop them, which they accomplish rather easily.

Take a look at the elephant's face. That expression manages to be both disturbing and hilarious at the same time.

"Smile! You're on Giraffe Camera!"

The Ringmaster traps Speed, Mark, Debbie, and Tinker in a cage and dubs himself the best animal trainer and ringmaster the world has ever known. But he doesn't actually run a circus, which explains the lack of clowns, trapeze artists and cotton candy vendors. No, no - his animals are a prototype of an entire animal army that he's going to use to take over the world.

He demonstrates how he'll do it. He's built a set meant to represent any government building in the world. First, he'll have the giraffe spy on the folks inside the building with his video camera.

"We have incriminating evidence against Richard Nixon! 'I am not a crook'
my spotted rear end!"

The video camera is hooked up to some sort of monitor, showing the Ringmaster that the office is empty. When he points this out to the good guys, Mark says, "Yeah, just like your head!" as opposed to "Of course it's empty, you mook, it's not a real government building."

Next, the Ringmaster sends in the gorilla and the crocodile to sneak into the building, and then the zebra to break down the door... which seems kind of pointless if the gorilla and crocodile have snuck in already, but what do I know, I'm not a supervillain. Then, when the gorilla and crocodile wheel out a safe, he has the elephant jump up and down on top of it to get it open. Uh, one small problem with this: elephants can't jump. No, really. Look it up. 

I know it's stupid to bring realism into a cartoon with a sentient talking car, just thought
I'd bring it up.

Then the cheetah will steal the contents of the safe - top-secret papers - and bring it to the Ringmaster. He boasts that his animal army will be unstoppable. Unless the government brings in a big game hunter, I suppose.

That night, Debbie attempts to bend the bars of the cage they're in, but fails at it for the obvious reason that she is not Hercules or a cartoon gorilla. "Don't just stand there, give me a hand!" she tells Mark and Tinker... to which they start clapping, a genuinely very funny joke.

I like to think that they actually knew what she meant, they're just trolling her. In fact,
that might have been the indication.

Then Tinker gets an idea. He removes Speed's back tires - which Speed comments makes him feel naked, another genuinely funny joke - so that Speed can use them to cut through the floor of the cage like a buzzsaw.

So, do the good guys have a plan to foil the Ringmaster's plot to use animals to take over the world? Nope, they're just going to make a run for it. Can't say I blame them. I mean, they'd be going up against a gorilla, a cheetah, a crocodile, and an elephant. The Ringmaster could just order the elephant to sit on them and they'd be flattened into pancakes. Or he could have the crocodile eat them.

Well, he could have the crocodile eat Mark, Tinker, and Debbie anyway. I don't think it's
possible for a crocodile to eat a car.

Unsurprisingly, Mr. Monopoly's evil twin is not pleased to discover that Speed Buggy and his amigos have escaped. He orders his animals to make sure they do not get off the island, but by this point they're back in the bayou so I guess that ship has sailed. He has the zebra put a giant rock in their path, but Speedy manages to drive on top of the rock and turn the tables on the black and white horse. Good guys: 1, Ringmaster: zilch.

"Suddenly, I feel like Indiana Jones!"

Next, the Ringmaster has the elephant jump off a hill onto Speed and his chums (even though, again, elephants can't jump), only for the elephant to wind up landing on top of the crocodile instead. It's a good thing Speed lives up to his name, otherwise he and his pals would've been stickers on a pachyderm's portly posterior.

"OH, GOD, MY SPINE! I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN RIGHT NOW!"

The Ringmaster sends the giraffe out after that, and by this point Speedy is starting to get tired. So they get the idea to hide under the giraffe's stomach. It doesn't work.

"Hey, that's a private area!"

They make it to the bridge... so I guess they're not off the island yet after all? Anyhow, the bridge is still up, but Speed has the ability to inflate his tires by holding his breath, allowing him to drive on water. "This looks like a job for my frog man!" the Ringmaster declares. Disappointingly, he doesn't mean an actual half-frog/half-human hybrid monster, which would've been pretty cool. He means the crocodile. Which is still cool, but "frog man" seems like a strange thing to call a crocodile.

The crocodile chases them back onto the island, and they decide to hide out in the circus tent... only for the giraffe to spot them anyway. The animals surround them inside, but Debbie gets another idea. If they can steal the Ringmaster's piccolo, maybe THEY can control the animals. But first, it's time for a chase scene with WHACKY SHENANIGANS!

As I've said before, walking across a tightrope is one thing I think you'd have to be crazy
to do. At least without a net or a million fluffy pillows underneath it.

Mark eventually manages to steal the flute... and promptly drops it. Speed Buggy drives over it, which somehow removes its ability to control the animals, as the Ringmaster discovers. Or at least it removes the RINGMASTER's ability to control the animals - Debbie is able to use it to control the elephant. Somehow. I have no idea how that thing works.

"We're fed up with working for peanuts! We demand a raise in pay or we'll maul you like
the wild animals we are!"

After he is subjected to more WHACKY SHENANIGANS, they manage to defeat the Ringmaster. And they even have enough time to finish the race! I guess the other racers were just standing around waiting for them to return to continue. How nice of them.

They manage to win the race, but it wasn't easy for Speedy - he had to tow all those circus wagons behind him. Inside those wagons are the Ringmaster, who's going to jail, and the animals, who are going to the zoo.

I like how nobody in the crowd seems at all confused by this.

What's the Verdict?

Speed Buggy is a fun show. Like most of Hanna-Barbera's work, it's so unapologetically goofy that it's hard not to enjoy it. And as far as Scooby-Doo clones go, it manages to stand on its own the most. Likely because instead of ghosts and monsters, the characters go up against crazy supervillains. Of the characters, it's Speed Buggy himself who I like the most, followed by Debbie. Mark and Tinker are good too, but the Fred and Shaggy similarities are pretty blatant. Debbie feels distinct enough from Daphne in a way that, say, April from The Funky Phantom doesn't. And she has a lot of great lines. But let's be honest, it's Speedy who we came to watch, and it's hard not to love him. He may very well be the cutest cartoon car I've ever seen. Plus, he's voiced by Mel Blanc, so he has that going for him too.

Of course, the show isn't flawless (what is?). The animation has several errors, but I've seen far worse. But as a whole, I think Speed Buggy is better than the internet gives it credit for and deserves better than to just get lumped in with other examples of Hanna-Barbera copying itself when the internet feels like taking the studio down a peg. And, honestly, even if a show was made to cash in on the success of another, extremely popular show, does that automatically make it bad? I mean, The Owl House was clearly greenlit to cash in on the success of Gravity Falls but a lot of people really like THAT show*!

If you'd like to watch Speed Buggy for yourself, you'll need either MeTV Toons or the show's DVD release. There aren't any full episodes on YouTube or the Internet Archive, and the only streaming services it's on are ones that I don't have.

Rating: Four needles in a wet haystack out of five. One of Hanna-Barbera's better 1970s cartoons.

* Please note that I consider The Owl House okay myself (I'm not a huge fan of it, but it's fine for what it is), but you can't deny that it was another show greenlit by Disney to cash in on the success of Gravity Falls. Granted, the shows themselves probably aren't THAT similar, but the whole "mysterious goings-on and magic stuff" premise, the wacky and quirky female lead, and the presence of Alex Hirsch as a character are certainly eyebrow-raising.