Let's Watch This: "Frosty's Winter Wonderland" (1976)

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

I guess somebody at Rankin-Bass really liked the idea of doing sequels to their most iconic TV specials in 1976, because they made TWO OF THEM that year. And you thought Rudolph's Shiny New Year was the only one that year, didn't you? No, there is another.

Frosty's Winter Wonderland is the first of three sequels that have been made to Frosty the Snowman. I was originally going to do a review of Frosty Returns this year, but I decided it'd make more sense to review the Frosty sequels in order. Just like the first special, Jules Bass and Arthur Rankin, Jr. served as the directors and Romeo Miller wrote the script. They even got Jackie Vernon back as the voice of Frosty.

The special first premiered on ABC in December 1976. Since then, it's reaired on various networks over the years, but I've never actually watched the whole thing. I guess I just wasn't super-eager to watch a special where plot is "Frosty gets a wife", plus it was years before I could actually rewatch Frosty the Snowman without turning it off before the greenhouse scene.

For whatever reason, this special seems to have kind of a negative reception online. Most of the reviews I've found of it are negative. Let's see which side of the fence I'll fall on. This is Frosty's Winter Wonderland.

The special starts off with some kids building a snowman - a snowman who is clearly NOT Frosty, as evidenced by the fact that he's wearing a straw hat as opposed to a top hat, his nose is a carrot instead of a button, and the lack of a corncob pipe. The kids acknowledge that this snowman isn't gonna spring to life, since only Frosty can do that. Well, and Olaf. And fellow Rankin-Bass character Sam the Snowman. And Snowden (he's a toy, yeah, but he's a toy SNOWMAN, so he counts).

This snowman does have one thing that Frosty doesn't, however - eyes that stare directly
into your soul.

Our narrator, Andy Griffith, shows up and assures the kids that Frosty will return. "You all remember that day Frosty left," he says. Despite the special's wanting us to believe that they are, these are clearly not the same kids from the original special. This is what the kids from the first special looked like:

None of the kids in this special look anything like that. Particularly noticeable is that Karen, the only one of those kids to get a name, is nowhere to be found here. The rabbit doesn't show up in this one either.

As for Frosty himself, he's still hanging out up at the North Pole, now wearing a nice scarf but otherwise looking more or less the same as he did in the first special. Rankin-Bass knew better than to mess with the design of their second most iconic character.

I think his head is a bit wider now, too.

A gust of wind blows a newspaper into Frosty's face, and he sees an article about how the first snow of the season has arrived in... whatever the name of the town from the original special is. Since it's nice and cold there, Frosty can head back without worrying about melting. But first, he heads back to his house, which seems to be mostly made out of ice... Elsa would probably approve...

He writes the kids a letter saying that he's on his way. Huh, he knows how to write now? In the first special he couldn't even count to ten. Frosty's getting smarter. Good for him.

The kids are all very excited to find out that Frosty's coming back, and Andy Griffith tells us that he's got a very special surprise waiting for him when he gets there. "You've heard the old familiar tale, how Frosty came to life..." he says. "But do you know the story... of how Frosty... took a wife?"

"You're probably wondering where Karen and that rabbit from the first special are.
I have no idea. I'm just the narrator here..."

Frosty arrives back in whatever the name of this town is off-camera (no heartwarming reunion scene? Drat) and soon he and the kids are having a lot of fun. But somebody does not approve of Frosty's presence: Jack Frost. A very different Jack Frost than the one featured in the Rankin-Bass special of the same name. This Jack Frost, voiced by Paul Frees, is mad that Frosty is more popular than he is. "Why don't the children love ME? I'M the one who makes winter wonderful!" he complains. 

Just wait until 2012, Jack - after Rise of the Guardians is released, you'll be more popular than ever. Sure, everybody loves Frosty, but does he have a million pieces of fanart on Tumblr? Or hundreds of fanfictions where he's paired up with the female lead from another animated movie? I don't think so.

Maybe he's just mad that his own Rankin-Bass Christmas special isn't as iconic as Frosty's.
Then again, THIS special was made before THAT one, so...

Jack introduces himself to Frosty and the kids, but despite his best efforts, the kids dub him a "big braggart" and say that Frosty's a lot more fun. Wow, way to be blunt, kids. Then Jack gets an idea - the hat is what brings Frosty to life, isn't it? If he eliminates the hat, he eliminates Frosty. Then everybody will love HIM. Either that, or he'll be known as "the guy who killed Frosty" and the kids will hate him even more. Here's a suggestion, Jack Frost - you want to be popular? Convince the folks at Wendy's to name a popular item on their menu after you, it worked wonders for Frosty.

That night, Frosty and the kids ride in a sleigh pulled by two horses to the local ice skating rink. Frosty makes a figure nine as opposed to a figure eight (he still can't count. He can write, but he still can't count). Jack attempts to steal the hat, but winds up with the hat from one of the horses instead. Good thing the horse just so happened to be wearing a top hat as well. Anything to get Jack Frost out of their hair (at least for the kids, since Frosty doesn't have hair).

Just a suggestion, Mr. Frost - maybe you'd be more popular if you didn't go around nipping
at peoples' noses. Not everybody likes having their schnozz bitten.

The next day, the kids notice something different about Frosty - and no, it's not that he's wearing a scarf now. He admits that every night, when the kids go home, he gets lonely. One of the kids suggests that he get himself a wife, or at least a girlfriend. Problem is, there aren't a lot of sentient snowwomen wandering around, nor are there any internet dating sights for snowpeople. But since Frosty was built by the kids... or at least, by OTHER kids who aren't in this special for whatever reason... then what's stopping the kids from just building the wife too?

So the next morning, the kids start building Frosty's wife, designed to Frosty's specifications. He wants her "kind of round and plump". Much like Moto Moto, he likes 'em big, he likes 'em chunky.

Isn't it kind of funny that Frosty has actual arms and legs made of snow? When most people
make snowmen, don't they usually give them sticks for arms and no legs at all? Clearly the kids
in these Rankin-Bass specials are much more skilled at this snowman-making thing than we are...

For her eyes, they use two blue beads that sparkle like sapphires. Her nose is a thimble, her mouth is a string of pink yarn. They even give her hair, via an old dust mop, and clothing in the form of an apron. I hope that doesn't make Frosty self-consious about being bald and naked.

Now they just need to give her a name. The kids suggest names like "Cleopatra", "Ermentrude", and "Minnehaha". Even the horses offer a suggestion, but nobody else agrees that "NEEEEEEEEEEEIGH" would be a good name for a snowwoman. One kid suggests "Corn Flakes". Does that qualify as product placement?

"What? People are named after cereal all the time. Just ask my Uncle Cocoa Puffs..."

Frosty eventually suggests "Crystal", and everyone agrees that it's a great name. There's just one small problem - how are they going to bring her to life? Magic hats are pretty rare. "Well, it was a nice idea anyway..." Frosty laments.

And to make matters worse, Jack Frost is realizing that the hat he stole isn't Frosty's. "Somebody's been horsing around with Jack Frost!" he declares, and he thinks it's all Frosty's fault for some reason.

There's something in your eye, Mr. Frost. In fact, it's in your other eye too.

"I'll show them, though... that nobody makes a fool of Jack Frost!" Jack snarls, his eyes turning red - quick, somebody get him some Clear Eyes. For dry, red eyes, Clear Eyes is AWESOME.

Hello, nightmare fuel.

Frosty stands out there in front of Crystal all night, eventually picking up a lovely bouquet of "frost flowers" which he'd made from the snow and placing it in her hands. And believe it or not, somehow, those flowers bring Crystal (voiced by Shelley Winters) to life. It's a Rankin-Bass special, just go with it.

"I feel like we were made for each other!"

"I WAS made for you!"

"I know! That's why I feel like it!"

Frosty and Crystal run around all happy and in love, unaware of the presence of Jack Frost, who uses a winter wind to knock the hat off of Frosty's head and swipe it. Now Frosty is inanimate. Where's Santa Claus when you need him?

But Crystal declares that removing the hat isn't enough to remove Frosty. "You have a wife - except for the formalities, that is - to help you now," she points out before making a snow flower to place on Frosty's "button hole" and planting a kiss on his cheek. And that does the trick! Frosty comes back to life!

...say, does this mean that magician guy from the first special can have his hat back now?

Speaking of the magician, at least Jack Frost didn't do what he did and lock Frosty in a greenhouse.

"I've been outfrosted again!" Jack moans. Sorry, Frost, but you're no match for THE POWER OF LOVE. The kids run outside to put on the wedding, somehow even managing to find Parson Brown (Dennis Day) to marry them. Fun fact: there is no actual person named Parson Brown, he's just a character invented for the "Winter Wonderland" song. For more information, please watch this hilarious video I found on YouTube.

I also just now realized that Parson Brown is here because the name of the special is "Frosty's
WINTER WONDERLAND". I feel stupid for not realizing that earlier...

Parson Brown says that he's legally only allowed to marry people, not snowpersons, so he suggests that they build a snowparson so HE can do the job. So they build a snowparson and place a copy of the Good Book in his hand to bring him to life. I wonder how else this "certain object brings a snowperson to life" deal works. If someone were to, say, build a snowman that looks like Jack Nicholson and put an Academy Award in its hand, would we then have a snow Jack Nicholson?

Jack shows up again and tries to stop the wedding with another powerful wind. Instead of just getting a restraining order against the guy, Frosty and Crystal get the idea to make Jack Frost their best man. And Jack's heart grows three sizes that night.

So the wedding gets started, and an offscreen chorus sings "Winter Wonderland". I was gonna make a joke about how Frosty and Crystal should avoid the "conspiring by the fire" part since, y'know, they'd melt, but the animators thought ahead for that:

Technically, they're conspiring by the ice crystals, but who cares?

We even get a glimpse of Frosty and Crystal's eventual offspring! No, I don't know how snowpeople reproduce. My guess is that they build the kids out of snow and then bring them to life somehow.

And indeed, Rankin-Bass' 1979 release Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July (I'll review that one at some point too) showed that Frosty and Crystal do have two kids, Millie and Chilly. The third one seen here isn't in it, though. Neither is the snowdog.

I also don't know why the snowkids don't have noses. What, could they just not find three buttons?

"I now pronounce you, snowman and wife!" the snowparson (also Dennis Day) says, which is Frosty and Crystal's cue to suck face. And so Frosty and Crystal live happily ever after. Only downside is, when April rears its ugly face, the temperature starts to rise. But Jack Frost assures them that winter never has to end. "With me around, this fun can go on forever!" he announces. And it does. So what if this inconveniences the spring flowers, and all those hibernating animals, and all the sports teams that want to start spring training?

Parson Brown points out to them that winter can't go on forever, which means that it's time for Frosty and Crystal to head back to the North Pole until next winter. By the way, in case you're like me and you were wondering where the heck Karen is, she finally makes a brief cameo:

Or maybe somebody just stole her clothes. I don't remember Karen being that tall...

But before they go, they head through town and run into that traffic cop (Paul Frees once again) from the first special. He's totally cool (no pun intended) with the fact that there's a talking snowman now, but TWO of them? He's so surprised that he swallows his whistle again!

"And they're eventually going to have KIDS?! How is THAT possible?!"

Frosty, Crystal, and Jack Frost hop aboard a train to the North Pole, and spring arrives. "May all your winters be wonderful!" Andy Griffith tells us. "And frosty, too!" Frosty and Crystal add. The end.

What's the Verdict?

While Frosty's Winter Wonderland obviously isn't as good as the first special, it's a nice little follow-up. The animation isn't quite as smooth and slick-looking as the first, and I can't help but be a little annoyed at the lack of Karen (y'know, the first special's secondary lead character?) and the rabbit. Even having the magician pop in again, if just for a cameo, would've been nice. But Frosty's natural charm as a character does a lot of heavy lifting, and Crystal proves to be a good match for him despite not showing up until halfway through. Of the two Rankin-Bass 1976 sequels, I think I'd give the edge to Rudolph's Shiny New Year just because of how much more "out there" it is. This would've benefitted from the presence of a caveman or a whale with a clock in its tail or something.

I give Frosty's Winter Wonderland four snowballs out of five. AMC is going to air it twice this month (first on the 21st, then on Christmas Eve), so be sure to set your DVRs.

Further reading:
- The Anime Madhouse's review of the first special
- Nothing But Cartoons' review of the first special
- Up on the Shelf Reviews' review of the first special

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Let's Watch This: "Snowden's Christmas" (1999)

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the special I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this special, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

When you think of mascots for Target, you likely think of that dog with the red bullseye over one eye, don't you? Well, they actually had ANOTHER mascot at one point. Well, maybe "mascot" isn't the right word...

This is Snowden. There isn't a whole lot of information about him online, but apparently, he was created by Target in 1997 to help boost sales around the holiday season. It didn't really take off - I didn't even know who Snowden was until I read the Platypus Comix review of this very special.

Snowden's Christmas is actually the fifth of several TV specials comissioned by Target (before this, there were two animated ones and two live action ones). I suppose I should probably have looked at them in order, but nah, I'll do a review of this one and maybe check out the other two animated specials some other time. According to the Christmas Special Wiki, Snowden's Christmas was produced by Toronto-based Cuppa Coffee Studios, who also worked on Jojo's Circus and A Miser Brothers' Christmas. It aired on CBS in December 1999 and can currently be found on YouTube. Is it any good? Well, it's been on my "to review" list for quite some time, so let's give it a watch and find out!

The special starts off with the camera panning around somebody's bedroom. "Personally, I always thought Christmas was overrated," Ed Asner's voice tells us. "All that bunk about the Christmas spirit, Santa Claus, and miracles... the way I saw it, everybody spent yuletide complainin' about traffic, blowing their savings on presents, then returnin' it all the next day. I had it all figured out, 'til I met a little snowman named Snowden. And he changed everythin' I ever thought about Christmas."

Eventually, the camera settles on Snowden himself, upside-down in a fishbowl (which is fortunately empty). A young boy named Adam walks over and pulls him out.

Nitpick: why does this kid have a fishbowl when he doesn't seem to own a fish?

Adam's dad pops in to tuck him into bed with Snowden and spew out exposition about how they're moving tomorrow to New York. As soon as Adam falls asleep, Snowden (voiced by Peter MacNicol) and his other toys come to life. Y'know, sort of like in that recently-released very popular animated movie... what's it called again? Oh yeah, Hercules!

(Yes, I'm aware that Toy Story was not the first, or even the second, thing to center around toys coming to life. You don't have to send a million comments my way nagging me about this joke)

Say hello to Footloose the rabbit (Rosslyn Taylor Jordan), Tiny the elephant (Kathy Najimy), and Drummer the bear (Michael McKean). Tiny is a stressed-out worrywart... I'll try not to make too many Toy Story references, but she's certainly the Rex of the group. Drummer is basically an insult comic in a bear suit, so I guess that makes him the Mr. Potato Head equivalent (it even sounds like Michael McKean is trying to emulate Don Rickles!). And Footloose is... well, so far, she's demonstrated that she's sassy and not much else. So, I guess her Toy Story equivalent would be... Hamm?

I mean, they're both pink...

The next morning, Adam and his family get in their car and hit the road.

There actually are a couple of moving companies called Movers and Shakers out there, according
to Google. Whether or not they got the idea from this special, I don't know.

Snowden and his fellow toys are stuck in a box in the back of the moving van. Suddenly, the truck drives over a manhole cover and the back door opens up - apparently whoever was in charge of closing it did a lousy job - and out falls the box. Now they're stranded on the highway, surrounded by zooming cars and trucks - one of which has the Cuppa Coffee Studios logo on it, a nice little Easter Egg.

"This is worse than getting thrown in the washer!" Footloose moans. Fortunately, she, Tiny, and Drummer manage to get out of the street and onto the sidewalk. Snowden does, too... after being flattened by a car. I assume this is meant to be funny. It is not. Cute cartoon characters getting hurt rarely is.

Snowden is sure that Adam will find them, but Drummer, of course, disagrees. The next morning, they spot a Sidewalk Santa and assumes that he's the real St. Nick... or at least Snowden, Footloose and Tiny do. Drummer doesn't believe in Santa Claus. Shockingly, even the Sidewalk Santa has an attitude... when somebody puts a dollar in his pot, he complains, "A lousy BUCK? Merry Christmas, ya tightwad!" Jeez, were the writers in a bad mood when they whipped up this script?

"Hey, Drummer, seeing as I'm a pink rabbit, shouldn't I be the one with the drum?"

"Shaddup! You want Energizer's lawyers comin' after us?!"

But what's this? Snowden has the the label from the moving box stuck to him! "It's where Adam lives! We can go to New York ourselves!" he explains to the others. "How hard can it be?" According to the others, very hard. But then they see a car parking in front of a Burger King parody, and out of that car pours a few kids asking if they're in New York yet. Hooray for convenient coincidences!

Instead of just sneaking into the car, Snowden decides that they'll hitch a ride in a takeout bag, posing as the free toys in a kids' meal. "This is ridiculous. I'm a classic toy, not some cheap, promotional giveaway!" Drummer grumbles. Look on the bright side, Drummer - nowadays, the toys they gave out in kids' meals during the 1990s are essentially collectors' items.

"No, I'm not Olaf. Although I do like warm hugs..."

There's just one problem with Snowden's plan... when they walk into the bag, they are greeted by the toys already being given away with the kids' meals, the Ham Buddies. They're little pigs with Santa hats and - like all the characters in this special aside from Snowden - an attitude problem. I gotta say, it's very generous of this eatery to give out FOUR toys in their kids' meals. I always only got ONE toy when I ate at Wendy's or McDonald's.

"When we're through with you, you're gonna be crying 'Wee, wee, wee' all the way home!"

The pigs beat the crap out of Snowden and his chums, but eventually they push Footloose too far. "Merry Christmas, porkers!" she snaps before going all Kung Fu Panda on their fat pink behinds. Long story short, the pigs are thrown out of the bag, which is given to the family that's going to New York. Only downside is, the kids won't stop fighting and spend most of the car ride throwing the toys around, and the parents are in a mood too. When the family stops to use the bathroom, the mother takes Snowden, Tiny, Footloose, and Drummer and throws them in a garbage can. I know the kids are brats, but throwing their new toys out behind their backs? What the heck, lady?!

I hope she gets a lump of coal in her stocking.

The next morning, the toys run into a rat (Rick Zieff). For once, he's actually very nice and does his best to help them... nah, I'm just kidding. He's a wisecracking jerk.

"Yeah, I might be considered filthy vermin NOW, but someday I'm gonna run my own pizza
parlor! With arcade games! And creepy animatronics!"

The rat tells them that New York is a hundred miles away. The only way they can get to Adam's house by Christmas, Drummer snarks, is if somebody puts a mailing label on their butts and sends them special delivery. "Drummer, you're a genius!" Snowden declares. And believe it or not, the rat actually helps them hitch a ride on an approaching mail truck... for some of Snowden's stuffing, of course, he needs it for his nest. The mail truck takes them to Williamsport's Main Postal Center. Only problem is, since there's no postage on the box, instead of being loaded onto another mail truck and delivered to Adam's, the box is thrown onto a pile of other postageless mail.

Next, the toys run into the special's narrator, a dog named Big Daddy who they save from choking on a bone. And even though he thinks that the toys' owner has forgotten about them by now (he's wrong - Adam wrote a letter to Santa asking him to bring Snowden and the others back in a previous scene), he agrees to help them get back. I wonder if they were at all tempted to make this character the aforementioned Target dog (especially since he debuted the same year that this special came out), but decided against it. Notice how there isn't any product placement for Target in this special at all?

His head is shaped like a banana. It's very distracting.

With his help, they get onto a train heading for New York. When they arrive in New York, they realize that they have no idea how to navigate the city and find Adam's house. For one thing, how will they cross the river? Big Daddy suggests taking the Brookyln Bridge...

At least I THINK this is the Brooklyn Bridge, it could be the Manhattan Bridge for all I know...

Unfortunately, everyone except Snowden ends up falling off the bridge and hanging on for dear life. Dear lord, why is the world so obsessed with keeping the toys from getting back to Adam? Fortunately, Snowden manages to save them by using his stuffing as a makeshift bungee cord, which leaves the poor snowman pretty worse for wear. Fortunately, Santa Claus shows up and delivers the toys to Adam's doorstep - and gives them some fancy new duds as well!

And Adam's family even takes in Big Daddy! What a nice ending. If only the rest of the special weren't so bad...

What's the Verdict?

You might recall that, in my reviews of Holidaze: The Christmas That Almost Didn't Happen and Maxine's Christmas Carol, I said the reason why a lot of obscure Christmas specials from the 1990s and 2000s didn't become beloved classics that air every year is because they try too hard to be "edgy" and have an "attitude" to them. Usually, this just means the writers throw in a bunch of dated pop culture references and have characters be snarky. Snowden's Christmas, on the other hand, tries to be edgy in another, far worse way... by being needlessly mean-spirited. Seriously, most of the characters here, even the BACKGROUND CHARACTERS with only one or two lines each, are needlessly grouchy and aggressive. The only ones I wound up liking were Snowden himself (if they'd made HIM needlessly nasty, I doubt anyone at Target would've wanted to buy any Snowden dolls), Big Daddy, and Adam. It makes the entire special hard to watch.

Here's the best way I can put it... this feels like this is what a full version of the infamous "Black Friday" Toy Story would've been like. For those who don't understand the reference, I'll explain: during the production of Toy Story, Jeffrey Katzenberg - who hadn't left Disney yet - kept pushing the folks at PIXAR to make the film edgier and more cynical for some reason. The result was an early screening of the film where Woody and the other toys (aside from Buzz) were incredibly nasty and unlikable. In this version, Woody grabbed Buzz and threw him out the window, then he and the other toys started yelling at each other (he screamed at Slinky, "WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO THINK, SPRING-WIENER?! IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, ANDY WOULDN'T PLAY WITH YOU AT ALL!"), culminating in the toys attacking Woody and throwing HIM out the window too. Everyone from John Lasseter to Roy E. Disney to even Jeffrey Katzenberg hated it, and PIXAR was given two weeks to rewrite the film and make the characters more likeable.

I will say in the special's defense that the animation is pretty good and the voice actors, particularly Peter MacNicol, are doing their best with the material they've been given. But I still wouldn't suggest watching Snowden's Christmas. Maybe the previous Snowden specials were better than this, I don't know.

By the way, the writers of this special also wrote Jingle Bell Rock. I appreciate that they resisted the urge to throw in any innuendos this time...

Let's Watch This: "Life is a Circus, Charlie Brown" (1980)

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the special I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this special, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

Who wants to talk about another Peanuts TV special? I do!

By the 1980s, the folks making these Charlie Brown specials probably realized that they'd run out of holidays. There was a Christmas special, a Halloween special, a Thanksgiving special, an Easter special, even an Arbor Day special. And presumably, they realized that folks would think A Charlie Brown Cinco De Mayo was a dumb idea... actually, what WOULD that special be like? Would Snoopy have some sort of stereotypical Mexican alter ego? In what way would Charlie Brown get put the wringer?

Well, anyhow, before they started recycling holidays (I personally like It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown and I Want a Dog For Christmas, Charlie Brown, but I know I'm probably in the minority), the folks making these specials started whipping up specials with plotlines that probably would've worked better for episodes of The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show than full-length specials. Though, to be fair, they were doing this as far back as 1974 - It's a Mystery, Charlie Brown isn't anything to write home about.

Long story short, at one point somebody asked, "What if Snoopy decided to join the circus?" and that's how we got Life is a Circus, Charlie Brown. This is one of those specials that you rarely see people talk about. Airing on CBS on October 24th, 1980, the only truly noteworthy things about it are that A) it won an Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program and B) it introduced a character named Fifi, who would appear again years later in The Peanuts Movie. Oh, and it was one of the first Peanuts specials to be released on VHS.

I have never seen this special before. As a rule of thumb, if it never aired on TV at any point in the 2000s, chances are it's a Peanuts special that I've never seen (unless it was included as a bonus feature on the DVD of one of the holiday specials, like It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown was). But what luck, it's on Apple TV, so I can watch it now and do a review of it. Is Life is a Circus, Charlie Brown good? Let's find out, shall we?

Let's Watch This: "A Hollywood Hounds Christmas" (1994)

Who the heck are the Hollywood Hounds? I have absolutely no idea. When I Googled them, the only things I could find that weren't related to this special were DVD collections of various movies starring dogs. My initial guess was that they were characters created for this one Christmas special, perhaps with the hope of there being a whole line of specials or a TV show based on them, only for that not to happen. Y'know, like the Zoomer Crew or the Soulmates. But I also found these:

Plush toys labeled "Hollywood Hounds"-related, one of which is very clearly supposed to be one of the dogs on the VHS cover! Somehow, I doubt they made plush toys of characters just from a one-off special (unless there were a lot of Zoomer Crew plush toys in stores when that special first aired). So here's my new theory: "Hollywood Hounds" was a toy line, perhaps an attempt to cash in on the success of Pound Puppies, and this special was made in an attempt to promote the toyline and maybe get a Hollywood Hounds cartoon show started up. If I'm wrong about this, somebody please let me know (the Christmas Specials Wiki claims that it was "based on the Hollywood Hounds storyline created by Jacob R. Miles III of Cultural Exchange Corporation". Make of that what you will).

Well, however this special came to be, you might recognize the name of the director, Kent Butterworth. He's also directed episodes of The Simpsons, Tiny Toon Adventures, and Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. A Hollywood Hounds Christmas aired on December 16th, 1994. You can currently find the special on YouTube, Tubi, and Pluto TV. Is it any good? Let's find out, shall we?

The special starts off with an intro like you'd expect a TV series to have, consisting of various clips from the special accompanied by a song about Christmas and these Hollywood Hounds characters they're hyping up so much. After that, we see the cowboy clothes-clad Hollywood Hound, Dude (voiced by Jeff Bennett, I believe?), arriving in Los Angeles on the back of a truck a few days before Christmas. My guess is that he came to LA because he wants to be a famous country singer... but don't most folks who want to be famous country singers go to NASHVILLE?

Then again, if he went to Nashville he wouldn't be a HOLLYWOOD Hound...

As soon as Dude gets off the truck, he is approached by a nasty-looking dog named Vic Vicious (voiced by Jess Harnell), who demands that he pay him for taxes - because this guy is clearly a trustworthy tax collector, right? I don't even know what dogs do with money, or how they get money, but Vic doesn't seem too phased by Dude telling him that he doesn't have any money, instead telling him to hand over the guitar.

Just go all El Kabong on him and smack Vic on the head with your guitar.

Dude refuses to give Vic his guitar, so Vic calls upon his bulldog pal Muttski (Frank Welker, if I'm not mistaken) to take the guitar by force. One chase scene later, Dude is saved by a dog who looks like Carlton Banks - and apparently has his clothes designed by C-Bear. His name is Cuz.

I'm sure this dog was designed to resemble SOME musician who was popular in the 1990s, but
I can't put my finger on who... maybe Prince? Was he popular in the 1990s?

Dude explains to Carlton... I mean, Cuz that he hails from Nashville - and apparently couldn't find any success there? I guess we can't all be Blake Shelton. Cuz says that his owner, Michael, would be happy to take him in, even though he already has at least two pets - in addition to Cuz, he's also the owner of the third, and only female, Hollywood Hound, Rosie (Candi Milo)... who, according to the description on the back of the VHS, is actually a cat, not a dog. Which makes the name of the group being "the Hollywood HOUNDS" kind of weird in hindsight...

This is Michael. I do not think he's meant to be a young Michael Jordan (otherwise this special
would likely be about dogs playing basketball instead of dogs forming a band).

Okay, so obviously Dude's skilled in country western music. What are the other two's talents? Cuz plays the blues, and Rosie likes salsa music. When they combine their talents together, the resulting cover of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" makes One Direction sound like a flock of screeching seagulls. But Dude doesn't want to be part of a trio: "I'm a solo act! A lone wolf," he says.

Suddenly, who should drive up to Michael's house but a... I feel like I should know this already, but what kind of car is that?

I want to say a sedan, but I'm not sure...

I initially thought some big music producer would step out of the car and immediately offer to be the Hollywood Hounds' manager, because that's usually how it goes in cartoons, but instead it's Michael's father. He says that the school where he works had to cut the music program, which means that he's out of a job. That means they won't be able to afford Christmas presents. Maybe they could take Maxine's advice and make the presents themselves - who doesn't love painted rocks?

Michael says it doesn't matter if they can't afford presents so long as they're together. Dude disagrees, saying, "Togetherness is one thing, but whoever heard of a Christmas without presents?" Cuz says that they should just be happy they have food and a roof over their heads, but Dude claims that's not what Christmas is about. SOMEBODY needs to learn the true meaning of Christmas. Could we get Linus Van Pelt in here?

"So, you think Ross and Rachel are ever gonna hook up?"

"Nah, she's got more chemistry with Joey..."

While watching TV, the Hollywood Hounds (plus one... let's call her a "California Cat") see a commercial for a pet food called Mushy Chow. The commercial announcer says that Mushy Chow is looking for dogs and cats who have musical talent to star in their annual Christmas commercial. Auditions will be held Saturday at the Pet TV studio in Hollywood, and the grand prize is a recording contract, a shopping spree in the pet store of your choice, a year's supply of Mushy Chow, and one thousand dollars in cash, hintidy-hint-hint-hint.

"Hey, are you a dog whose owner's father just got fired and desperately needs some money? Hi,
I'm the solution to your problem!"

The next morning, Dude sneaks off to the Pet TV studio, intending to audition by himself... but Cuz and Rosie wind up tagging along anyway. Suddenly, a truck with "CITY POUND" written on it shows up and snatches Cuz and Rosie in a net. This raises the question of how exactly city pounds work in this world. Dude, Cuz and Rosie, even if they're pets, are anthropomorphic - they wear clothes, they talk, they walk on two legs. So why is the dogcatcher allowed to just drive up and capture Cuz and Rosie in a net? Isn't this basically kidnapping? Would the folks running the city pound be willing to put down two animals who talk and wear clothes? Do talking animals just not have legal rights or something?

And why is the dogcatcher also nabbing a CAT? Did he mistake Rosie for a Shiba Inu?

Dude is subjected to WHACKY SHENANIGANS as he chases the truck, complete with another appearance from Vic and Muttski. He offers them a deal - if they help him save Cuz and Rosie, he'll give them his guitar. Vic agrees. Say, how come Dude, Cuz and Rosie wear clothes but Vic and Muttski just walk around naked? Are they nudists?

If they are, I'm not judging them, it's just a headscratcher...

After saving Cuz and Rosie and giving Vic his guitar, Dude and his amigos head for the Pet TV studio, where they find a bunch of other pets - and their owners, all of whom look eerily similar to them - waiting to audition as well. Vic is nice enough to give Dude his guitar back (he and Muttski were originally going to audition as well, but they're not very good singers) and suggest that they call themselves "the Hollywood Hounds", even though Rosie as she points out is not a hound. He even offers to be their manager!

There's just one problem - also auditioning for the commercial is a bratty girl (Jania Foxworth) and her poodles who can yip "The Twelve Days of Christmas", and she's determined to make sure SHE wins the prizes, not those Hollywood Hounds. Uh oh, I smell an antagonist!

An antagonist who looks like she just stepped out of a Dr. Seuss book at that!

So what is her evil plan? She sneaks into the audio room while the Hollywood Hounds are auditioning and somehow replaces their music with the sound you make when you wave your arms over a bunch of glasses filled with water. You know that sound, right? I don't know what black magic she's using to pull this off, but the judges tell the pets that they don't need to hear anything else. Then when the poodles audition, the judges make them the winners, even though their act made them fall asleep. The girl's mission was a success!

But is that enough for her dad (Frank Welker)? Oh, no - he also ambushes the Hollywood Hounds, puts them on leashes, and gives them to his daughter as new pets. Fortunately, Michael and his father show up and are all "I don't think so!" The girl's dad tries to bribe Michael's dad with some of that sweet sweet moolah, but Michael's dad will not be bribed. Especially not by the fathers of Offbrand Veruca Salts.

"By the way, Mr. Snooty Fat Guy?! The Mask called, he wants his suit back!"

The girl throws a tantrum over not getting more pets, and then she, her father, and their poodles are pummeled by bags of Mushy Chow. And then doused with water from a fire hydrant. Dude has now learned the True Meaning of Christmas - it's not about money or presents, it's about being together and being grateful for what you have. Michael's father also invited the dogcatcher over for Christmas dinner, understandably freaking out the pets, but he assures them that he takes Christmas off (plus, I don't think dogcatchers are allowed to capture pets in their own homes). We end with a musical performance from the Hollywood Hounds.

WARNING: if you watch this special yourself, you are going to have this song stuck in
your head for a while.

What's the Verdict?

I'm going to divide this into two sections. What I liked about it, and what I didn't like...

What I liked:
- The animation is good.
- The characters are likeable (if a bit underdeveloped).
- The voice cast consists of talented people like Jess Harnell, Jeff Bennett, Candi Milo, and Frank Welker. That's always a plus.
- I give them credit for not going the obvious route and having the dad get his job back somehow at the end. Although that does make me a bit worried about what he's gonna do to pay the bills.
- I also give them credit for NOT shoehorning in a bunch of pop culture references and "racy" humor like so many other 1990s Christmas specials. This was the time period where the Animaniacs style of comedy was in full swing (the special came out just ONE YEAR before Jingle Bell Rock, for crying out loud). They could've thrown in a bunch of references to famous musicians or had the dogs make jokes about how horny they are or whatever, but they didn't. How refreshing.

What I didn't like:
- The villains were lame. They show up near the end, do nothing particularly interesting, and are generally more of a nuisance than anything else. What did they add to the story other than to make the Hollywood Hounds fail their audition?
- Where did Vic and Muttski go after the villains showed up?
- Much like with Grojband, since this is a special about a trio of musicians, I would've liked some more music. They didn't even have to be original songs, they could've just had the dogs sing covers of iconic Christmas tunes. Ah well...

So all in all, I thought this special was pretty good. Unless you really hate dogs for some reason (maybe you're a Cruella DeVille sympathizer?), I recommend giving it a watch. Like I said, it's pretty easy to find for something so obscure. It also recently aired on MeTV Toons, so maybe that'll help spread more awareness of it.

This review is brought to you by Mushy Chow. Don't let the fact that it has "mushy" in its name fool you, your dog or cat will love it!

DISCLAIMER: Animation and All Things Related does not actually have a sponsor, nor is Mushy Chow an actual brand of pet food. Do not go into your local PetCo expecting to actually find bags of Mushy Chow on the shelves.