Showing posts with label FOX Kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FOX Kids. Show all posts

Sunday, August 9, 2026

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Dog City"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

This is the first review I wrote after I went on hiatus earlier this year. Yes, even though I wasn't POSTING on this blog, I was still WRITING posts - see, I like to write my blog posts in advance and then just choose which one I want to post which week, but in February I was pretty behind. I needed to take the hiatus to get back up to speed. When I first started this blog, I probably thought it'd be easy. Just watch a cartoon and do funny commentary on it. Other people online do it, so how hard could it be?

Oh, how wrong I was. It's actually really hard to write a funny review of something. I'm constantly cringing at the reviews I've already posted and thinking there aren't nearly enough jokes in them. And those are just the reviews that actually made it onto the site!

I have a very long list of cartoon shows and animated movies that I tried to write a review of, but wound up scrapping because I wasn't getting enough joke material out of them. Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!, Kick Buttowski, ALF: The Animated Series, Heathcliff and the Cadillac Cats, Skippy: Adventures in Bushtown, CB Bears, The Cleveland Show, I can go on and on. I find episodes of the show online, I watch 'em, I try to make jokes, but I can't think of anything funny and I have no idea why. Is it me? Am I just not funny? Or are the shows just not giving me anything to work with? You'd think a cartoon about ROBOT MONKEYS FIGHTING CRIME would give me something, so I'm guessing it's the first one.

I needed something to get me out of this slump. I've found that the hardest cartoons to make jokes out of are the ones that are either just okay or mediocre. And, unfortunately, a lot of really obscure cartoon shows out there - y'know, the ones that I review for this blog - fall into one of those categories. I needed to review something really bad. Something infamous for its crappiness. Problem is, every cartoon show like that I've either already looked at (The Wacky World of Tex Avery, Fish Hooks, Pig Goat Banana Cricket) or have sworn not to touch with a ten foot pole (I'm not rewatching Fanboy and Chum-Chum). So I had to do something else. And y'know what? Sometimes, if you can't find something really bad, you could review something that you already know that you like. If you're already familiar with the characters and plots, it might be easier to think of jokes to make about 'em. Maybe. I don't know.

So, what is Dog City?

Well, it got its start as a TV special that aired as part of The Jim Henson Hour in 1989. The special took place in a city populated by anthropomorphic dogs (natch) and focused on a dog detective named Ace Yu who faces off against mobsters. You can currently find it on YouTube if you'd like to watch it yourself.

I guess the folks at the Jim Henson Company really liked how the special turned out, because they decided to make a Dog City cartoon show as well. However, the show had very little in common with the special aside from the whole "dog detective in a world of anthropomorphic pets" premise. Ace Yu was now Ace Hart (voiced by Ron White), private eye, who faced off against such foes as crime boss Bugsy Vile (voiced by John Stocker) and German-accented Baron Von Rottweiler (Stephen Ouimette). Ace was usually helped in his adventures by love interest Rosie O'Gravy (Elizabeth Hanna) and kid sidekick Eddie (Stuart Stone).

But what really made the show unique was that it had puppets in addition to the animated characters. In-universe, the creator of Ace Hart was a canine animator named Elliot Shag, puppeteered by Kevin Clash of Elmo fame, who would illustrate the episodes as they happened (not how animation works, I know, but just go with it) and interact with Ace. It was sort of like Duck Amuck, except as a cartoon show. Premiering on Fox Kids in September 1992, three seasons of the show and a total of thirty-one episodes were produced. The animation was handled by Nelvana.

After hearing about Dog City online years prior, I discovered that the show could be found on Tubi and decided to give it a watch. And y'know what? I found myself liking it. And I've found that I usually have better luck with writing funny reviews when they're of something I already know that I like than something I've never seen before. So guess what we're reviewing today?

After going through a couple episodes of the show's first season, I decided to review the eleventh episode, "Rocketship K-9". We start off with Ace climbing up a bridge so he can save three innocent puppies playing in a sandbox teetering on the top. I guess the OSHA doesn't have any juristriction in Dog City.

Hurry, Ace! If Cooler gets hurt (c'mon, you can't tell me that white puppy in the grey shirt
doesn't look like Cooler), they'll have to cancel Pound Puppies!

Actually, the puppies' being in danger is the work of Baron Von Rottweiler. The fiend! Fortunately, he is dealt with very easily by his dimwitted assistant fetching the dynamite that he was going to use to blow up the bridge... which instead goes off in front of him. The sandbox falls off the bridge anyway but lands safely in the water, no puppies are harmed, and Baron Von Rottweiler is arrested by literal police dogs.

He's going from the doghouse to the big house.

The day is saved, and the words "THE END" appear on the screen. I know what you're thinking: "Gee, that was a very short episode." But in actuality, the actual episode isn't over yet - we just caught the tail end (no pun intended) of an episode of the in-universe Ace Hart show.

Ace talks to Elliot about how the episode turned out. It's never made clear if Elliot is actually interacting with a sentient cartoon character or if it's all just in his imagination. I prefer to believe that it's the first one, mostly because it's a lot cooler that way.

"So, what's the next episode gonna be about?"

"Well, I just got hired to work on an animated movie called Foodfight!. The studio wants
you to be in it, but they're changing your name to 'Dex Dogtective' and you're gonna be in CGI."

"...Elliot, are you sure about this?"

"What's to worry about? It's not like the film's gonna be a poorly-animated, unfunny mess
filled with product placement, ethnic stereotypes, and jokes totally inappropriate for a children's
movie. I'm sure this Lawrence Kasanoff guy knows what he's doing..."

Elliot admits that he's not quite sure what the next episode of the show is gonna be about. He needs a little inspiration. Boy, I know how that feels. Except that I'm not an animator, I'm just some schmuck who writes reviews of cartoons. Not the same thing at all.

Just then, who should pop in the door but Artie (puppeteered by Joey Mazzarino), Elliot's number one fan and the character who inspired Eddie. From the way he's dressed, I assume that he's going to a sci-fi convention.

"Take me to your kibble!"

Apparently, Artie has gotten hooked on this show called Moon Doggies of New Litter, and he is indeed on his way to a fan club convention. He invites Elliot to come along, but as Elliot puts it, "Ace Hart comes first."

Next, in barges the superintendent of the building where Elliot lives, Bruno (Brian Muehl), and his dimwitted assistant Bowser (David Rudman). Bruno is freaking out because he thinks Moon Doggies are invading their planet, and Elliot has to explain to him that the "Moon Doggies" he's seen are just fans of a TV show and that there are no such things as aliens. Talking dogs, sure, but ALIENS? Poppycock!

Bruno here is in-universe the inspiration for Bugsy Vile. In fact, the puppet used for him is the very same puppet used in the original Dog City special for the main villain, Bugsy Them. Not only that, but Elliot's puppet is the same puppet used for the special's Ace Yu (who was ALSO performed by Kevin Clash!). Neat, huh?

"And why is everyone singin' about how 'they don't talk about' me?! Sayin' that I've got
a seven-foot frame and rats along my back?!"

Then when Artie emerges from the bathroom in his Moon Doggy getup, Bruno immediately forgets what Elliot said and panics. Clearly Bruno is a few sodas short of a six-pack. After Artie leaves, Elliot is inspired to do an outer space episode. "This is a detective show, kid! I catch bad dogs, not little green mutts!" Ace complains. I'm kind of with Ace - when you send your characters into outer space, it's a pretty big sign that you've jumped the shark. Remember how ridiculous it was when Josie and the Pussycats went into outer space?

But Elliot is insistent, imagining a parody of War of the Worlds where Ace is pursued by UFOS shooting laser beams.

I bet the aliens are from Pluto. Get it? 'Cause that's the name of another cartoon dog?

"ELLIOT, CALL 'EM OFF!" Ace begs as he runs from the aliens. He's also not impressed when he sees that the invading aliens look like giant bugs. Again, I have to agree - aliens looking like bugs isn't very original. Although, as someone who is terrified of bugs, I will admit that it's a great way to make aliens look creepier.

"Can't you at least draw me a can of Raid to deal with 'em or something?"

Elliot agrees to do the show Ace's way because he doesn't have the time to argue over it. So Ace finds himself back in his office, relaxing, not having to deal with extraterrestrials... or should that be extra-terrier-strials?




Does anyone else hear crickets chirping?

Well, anyway, these two big dogs in trenchcoats and fedoras barge in and tell Ace that "Uncle Sparky" wants him. He is taken to the Cape Carnivorous Space Centre and meets a rocket scientist named Wormer Von Hound, who looks like Professor Farnsworth but as a dog. Like, eerily so. Did Matt Groening watch this episode?

"Good news, everyone! I have a fursona!"

Y'know how we've actually sent dogs to space before? Well, the canines in Dog City are one step ahead of us: they've sent dogs to the MOON! But, according to Von Hound, when doggy astronaut Heel Arfstrong landed on the moon, he was promptly attacked by aliens. Ha ha, Ace, Elliot managed to sneak science fiction into the episode after all!

And since this episode involves aliens, I suppose I'm gonna have to include that clip from Bolt somewhere in the review, so here it is:

So now Von Hound wants to send another "astromutt" to the moon. And you'd think sending Ace into space against his will instead of, y'know, an actual "astromutt" would be a dumb idea, wouldn't you? And you'd expect that Von Hound wants to do exactly that because the plot demands it, wouldn't you? Well, you'd be wrong! Actually, Von Hound just wants Ace to find out who's been stealing their office supplies. It's really getting out of hand.

But Ace isn't stupid. When he sees a rocket outside, he tells Elliot, "I know where this is goin'. Somehow, you're gonna get me into that rocket and blasted off, right?" "Why, no, Ace," Elliot claims. "Whatever makes you think THAT?" I do love it when the characters in what I'm reviewing make the jokes for me.

Elliot is shocked to learn that a goofy-looking antennae and nothing more does not a
Teletubby costume make.

The next thing Ace knows, he's inside the rocket. "I hate to do this to him, but someday he'll thank me for it," Elliot says. "I think. And now, the plot thickens!" With his paintbrush, he creates a Russian-accented cat speaking into a walkie-talkie. The cat says that he'll sneak into the rocket, blast off into space, and claim the moon for the felines of Catsylvania. Rule of thumb: if your cartoon show stars dogs and a cat appears in it, chances are the cat will be a bad guy. I think the only cartoon show starring dogs that didn't do this was Puppy Dog Pals.

"And then, I will bottle all of the milk in the Milky Way and bring it back to Earth for the cats
to lap up!"

Unbeknownst to the cat and Ace, somebody else has his eyes on the rocket too. That's right, it's the one and only Bugsy Vile and his gang: Frisky the broad-shouldered chihuaua (James Rankin), Bugsy's dimwitted nephew Bruiser (Howard Jerome), and the psychotic Mad Dog (also Stephen Ouimette). What does Bugsy want with the rocket? Well, he's planning to steal it and make it part of his big criminals-only amusement park, Vile World, the vilest place on Earth.

I hear it's at least more fun than Wesaysoland.

They get into the rocket after Bugsy sticks his credit card in the door... I'm not quite sure how that works, but okay... but they didn't count on Ace being in the rocket. He thinks they stole the office supplies - and if Frisky and Bruiser's taking pencil sharpeners and staplers out of their jackets is any indication, he's on the money. But Bugsy wants the rocket, and he declares that there's nothing Ace can do to stop them from taking it and making a theme park ride out of it.

Of course, he has no idea that the cat from before has somehow gotten into the rocket and is sitting in the captain's seat. He presses the "blast off" button and up the rocket goes.

We have liftoff.

Upon realizing that they're traveling into outer space, all five of the dogs inside the rocket start panicking. "WE ARE HURTLING THROUGH THE COSMOS! GOING TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOON!" Bugsy exclaims. And not only that, but Frisky thinks he left the stove on! Horror of horrors!

"FREE HUGS!"

Ace points out to Elliot that they agreed on no science fiction crap in this episode. But Elliot found a loophole: blasting Ace to the moon isn't science FICTION, it's science FACT. "Come on, Ace, wouldn't you rahter howl ON the moon than howl AT the moon?" he suggests. I like how Elliot has a mischevious streak. Ace is just lucky Elliot hasn't started redesigning him at random. Otherwise, he could wind up looking like THIS:

Ace's little outer space adventure is interrupted by the return of Bruno and Bowser, who enter wearing pans on their heads and claiming that they're ready for the "Moon Doggies" this time. Apparently, Bruno doesn't even recognize Elliot with that antennae on, because when Elliot tells him that they're not being invaded by aliens, he says that the "Moon Doggy" is trying to "scramble [their] brains". "Someone obviously beat me to it," Elliot mutters.

Bruno also assumes that Elliot's waffle iron is a "Moon Doggy communicator" disguised as a common household appliance. He also sticks his paw on it like an idiot, and when Bowser accidentally turns it on, he winds up in serious pain. No wonder Elliot based one of his characters off of Bruno - he's practically a cartoon character already!

"Hey, don't blame ME. I TOLD you to leggo my Eggo..."

Once Bruno and Bowser leave, Elliot can get back to animating. Von Hound contacts Ace and screams at him for stealing the rocket, but Ace tells him that HE didn't steal it, BUGSY did. Bugsy claims that he's not stealing it either, although that was his original intent. But if HE didn't steal it, WHO did?

Of course, we know it was the cat... or rather, the horrifying dog-like alien he turned into!

"Hi, kids! I'll be seeing you all in your nightmares tonight!"

Ace tells Elliot to get rid of the "sci-fido", and Elliot turns the alien back into the cat. Bugsy and his gang fight the cat, and while this is going on, Ace notices a sign reading "IN CASE OF STUPIDITY, PRESS BUTTON" - a button that I think we ALL could use in this day and age. He presses the button, and the sign slides up to reveal a ray gun, which he promptly zaps the others with. It doesn't kill them, of course - the good guys of 1990s cartoon shows aren't allowed to kill people, for obvious reasons - it just freezes them. And somehow everyone in Dog City has already learned that Ace is going to the moon... I guess news travels fast in Dog City... so Ace can't back out now. It's off to the moon for him!

Ace takes charge, because he's seemingly the only one here with a level head. Bugsy and his gang are willing to listen to him, the cat not so much. He turns on a lunar rover... quick question, why would anthropomorphic dogs design a robot to look like a NON-anthropomorphic dog? I find that confusing...

They're playing "Go Fish". I guess the writers thought having dogs playing poker was too obvious
a joke...

...and gets it to eat Bruiser, Frisky and Mad Dog and fly out of the rocket with them inside it. Don't worry, they pop up in episodes after this, so we know they got back to Earth somehow. Maybe they hitched a ride in a UFO or something.

For some reason, the cat doesn't attempt to get rid of Ace and Bugsy as well. All three of them land on the moon... or at least, what they THINK is the moon. It's actually a hungry alien that's going to eat them for a midnight snack!

"HOW DARE YOU PUNY DOGS DISTURB MY SLUMBER! SAY HELLO TO MY
DIGESTIVE TRACT!
"

"That's ENOUGH, Elliot!" Ace barks. Aw, come on, Ace, let Elliot spice up the episode a little. Alas, Elliot concedes, and the moon changes back to normal. They find the remains of the previous spaceship that brought Heel Arfstrong to the moon. Who could have done this? Why don't we ask the giant robot?

"I claim this moon in the name of the Autobots!"

"ELLIOT! Enough already with the space monsters!" Ace complains, but Elliot tells him that the robot isn't a space monster (another loophole! Elliot is great at finding them). It's being controlled by Baron Von Rottweiler's dimwitted minion from earlier, who takes them to his master's secret air-filled dome on the moon.

Okay, okay, hang on. How did Von Rottweiler escape the police and wind up on the MOON? Did he steal another rocket? Did he manage to contact aliens and have them pick him up? HOW?

See what happens when you deny Elliot the chance to put in aliens, Ace?

Adding to the confusion, after conquering the moon, Von Rottweiler built a doomsday device and is going to blow up the earth with it. Because... I don't know, it obstructs his view of Venus, maybe? He'll only spare the earth if he's allowed to take it over (and get an episode of Ace's show all to himself. You'll have to talk to Elliot about that, Von Rottweiler).

Ace... defeats Von Rottweiler with remarkable ease. Kind of anti-climactic, don't you think?

Hey, Ace, Blue left one of her pawprints on your suit. It must be a clue!

So the day is saved... except that no it's not, because Ace accidentally presses the button that launches the doomsday device. Oh, nice going, Ace. Fortunately, Ace manages to save the earth by telling Von Rottweiler's dimwitted assistant to fetch the missile. Downside: now it's heading for the moon, so now Ace, Von Rottweiler, Bugsy, the cat, and Heel are going to go ker-blooey instead. They all run into the rocket and blast off, grabbing Von Rottweiler's assistant and the lunar rover with Frisky, Bruiser, and Mad Dog in it on the way back to Earth, narrowly avoiding the missile's reaching the moon and blowing it up. The Earth's tides promptly shift, the kid in the DreamWorks logo now has nothing to sit on, and werewolves all over the world (do werewolves exist in a city where everyone is already an anthropomorphic dog?) are vanquished.

Ka-boom.

Ace returns to Earth a hero, and just as Elliot is finishing up the episode, Bruno and Bowser show up with a police dog and tell him to arrest Elliot for being a "Moon Doggy". Fortunately, the cop isn't an idiot, but he IS a fan of the "Moon Doggies", and as a result of that and Artie returning with his pals, Bruno faints.

Elliot has a surprise for Ace. He's going to get the key to the city - but that city isn't Dog City. Suddenly, Ace is sitting in front of a crowd of aliens. "Submitted for your approval... Ace Hart, private eye, dog. He went sniffing for glory in outer space..." Elliot says, doing his best Rod Serling impression. "But he found himself... barking up the wrong tree. A national hero in... the Hydrant Zone." "ELLIOT, GET THEM AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEE!" Ace shrieks. Sorry, Ace, but you can't fight the dog holding the brush.

"Heh heh heh... ain't I a stinker?"

What's the Verdict?

So that's Dog City, and as you might have guessed, the best thing about it is the combination of live action and animation. It's a very unique idea for a show - an animator actually drawing the show as we watch it and interacting with the main character - and allows for a lot of great jokes. But the animated segments... y'know, the actual cartoon... are fun as well. Nicely animated, cool characters, good voice acting, and and I like how, unlike Fish Police, they actually utilize the fact that the characters aren't human. You don't get that much of it in this specific episode, but the show actually uses the characters being dogs to do some unique gags and storylines. For example, the first episode is about Ace trying to find who's stealing everybody's squeaky toys.

What's my main problem with the show? Well, in Season 3 things sort of got away from the Ace Hart stuff. Suddenly every episode had the stories interrupted by a segment starring some other character, including some that weren't even from Ace's show. I don't care about Artie's toy rabbit or the cat thief who outwits the dumb dog security guard, I came here for Ace Hart. Couldn't you at least put these segments in after Ace's storyline has wrapped up? Nonetheless, I still highly recommend checking out Dog City. Seek it out if you haven't already.

Rating: Four flea collars out of five. A doggone good cartoon.

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Thursday, January 23, 2025

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Pig City"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

Why have most of the cartoons I've reviewed in January been about farm animals? Ponies, sheep, and now pigs. And on top of that, they all take place in the city. Very peculiar...

Pig City was created by Andy Knight, also the creator of a show I've previously reviewed twice on my blog, Ned's Newt. It was co-produced by CineGroupe, AnimaKids, and Red Rover Studios and aired on Teletoon in Canada, ProSieben in Germany, and Fox Kids internationally - believe it or not, however, it never aired in the United States. Apparently, it was originally going to be called The Three Pigs. Maybe they thought that title was too on-the-nose.

The show is about a pig from the country named Mikey Hoggins (voiced by Thor Bishopric), whose parents send him to live with his cousins Martha (voiced by Emma Campbell) and Reggie DeBoar (voiced by Philip LeMaistre). After its premiere in April 2002, thirty-nine episodes were produced, making for a total of three seasons. Pig City's only home video release says that it's "more than 60 minutes of pure pleasure in the company of the most sophisticated and funniest pigs in the world", "a series that manages to be witty, worldly and warm at the same time", and "hilarious, original, and sophisticated".

Is it indeed all of those things? Well, you can find episodes of the show on the Internet Archive, so why don't we find out? We'll be watching the ninth episode, "Raising a Stink". This is Pig City!

The episode starts off with Martha having just returned from the mall. Mikey shows up with a phone in his trotter, telling her that the credit card company wants to speak with her. Martha initially assumes that they want to congratulate her for all the shopping that she's done, because credit card companies do that a lot. She is wrong - they tell her that she's overcharged her card. Teenage girls in cartoons... always going hog-wild at the mall. Get it? HOG-wild? This is the first of what will likely be MANY pig puns in this review...

With those long ears, Mikey and Martha kind of look more like aardvarks than pigs.

Martha calls up her parents to see if they can clear things up. Wouldn't you know it, they can't - in fact, they're a little concerned about her "money sense". Two pigs in business suits have checked their records, and a chart shows that Martha goes through more money than Mikey and Reggie combined.

Say, do you think these pigs keep their money in human banks? Y'know, 'cause we keep our money in PIGGY banks? Please laugh. I'm trying so hard...

Notice that the girl pig appears to have lips, unlike every other pig we've seen so far.
It doesn't look like she's wearing lipstick, though... you know what they say about putting
lipstick on a pig.

Mikey brings up that he was raised out in the country, where people... or pigs, it would seem... know the value of money, because they WORK FOR IT. Martha is all "WORK?! Oh, horror of horrors!", but her parents seem to be on board with the idea of Martha learning the value of money by going to work. "I think it's time you got a job," her father says, much to her dismay.

I guess you could say that Martha will be bringing home the bacon. Ba-dum-ksssh. Actually, that would be cannibalism, wouldn't it?

"Footballs are made of WHAT now?!"

After Mikey and Reggie crack jokes about how Martha will probably wind up cooking fries at a fast food joint, Martha reveals that she's already gotten a job at Pi-Gee, the most pretentious perfume store in the mall. She's going to be their Point of Purchase Marketing Coordinator of In-Store Merchandise. Once she leaves, Reggie suggests that Martha is a lying liar from Liarsburg. "Only one way to find out," Mikey says, narrowing his eyes.

I still think Mikey looks more like an aardvark.

Actually, Martha is telling the truth - her job is to set up the merchandise on the shelves, and she alphabetized the displays by country of origin and placed them according to their land mass from least to most. She's also allowed to mock the customers.

I wonder what kind of scents they have there... "Eau De Mud Puddle", perhaps?

After her boss, the ever-so-creatively-named Mr. Swine, heads out to have lunch, Mikey and Reggie show up and through their stupidity wind up destroying a display. They help her fix it, but when Mr. Swine returns, he's horrified to see that a red bottle is in the blue bottle area. You have to keep them separated or else I imagine THIS happens...

I know he was referring to PERFUME bottles, but this is what I imagined...

"This is what I get for leaving an amateur in charge!" Mr. Swine declares. "You're FIRED! AWAY with you! LEAVE this place! Martha, DESTROYER of Perfume!" As she glumly leaves, Mikey tells Reggie that they have to get Martha her job back. Reggie's idea for how to do that: go to a music store and buy a Pig Floyd album. Metal has all the answers, you see.

"Pig Floyd"? They couldn't think of anything funnier than THAT? I mean, it's
at least slightly funnier than the pig puns I'VE been making in this review, but still...

"If we could find something that a perfume store would want," Mikey suggests, "We could deal for Martha's job." What they need is a Nose. Not the kind on one's face, which they already have two of, but a guy who makes perfume. And they know a pig named E. Brian (Michael Yarmush) who has a big nose...

...his nose doesn't look any bigger than Mikey or Reggie's does to me, but okay, let's see where they're going with this. E. Brian whips up a perfume recipe that is so potent it turns whoever wears it into a girl magnet. Mikey and Reggie then find Martha in the food court and drag her back to Pi-Gee's, where they give Mr. Swine the powerful piggy perfume. When Reggie tries some, they discover that it smells like taco chips, sour cream, and a football locker room. Apparently those are scents that drive girl pigs crazy - or boy pigs, it would seem, as there are several in the doorway sniffing the air.

"I WANT it! Who is the Nose! I must speak to the Nose!" Mr. Swine pleads. Mikey claims that HE is the Nose, and that they'll give him the perfume if he gives Martha her job back. Mr. Swine agrees... just before Reggie suddenly gains hives. Fortunately, all they have to do to get rid of the hives is douse Reggie with water. And his hair looks healthier and shinier than before, too. Very strange...

After that, Mikey and Reggie walk by the movie theater, where The Hogfather is playing. That's actually a pretty good pun... which is promptly followed by "Joe Piggy" and "Robert De Porco". Oy. Ignoring how bad those puns are, Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro weren't even in The Godfather (they WERE in The Godfather Part II, though). What, could they just not think of good pig puns for the names of people who actually WERE in the first Godfather? Al Porcino and... actually, I can't think of anything other than that either.

"Y'know, the third one of these films sucked."

Mikey gets another idea - Joe Piggy and Robert De Porco are scheduled to sign autographs at the mall. If only they could get them to go to Pi-Gee and ask Mr. Swine to give Martha her job back, but chances are they'll be too busy to do Mikey and Reggie that favor. So what do they do?

Okay, I get that they're supposed to be disguised as Joe Piggy and Robert De Porco, but they don't look like Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro at all. But it's enough to fool Mr. Swine, particularly when Mikey says, "Are you servin' ME? Are you... SERVIN' me? I don't see anyone else around, so you must be servin' ME." That's not even from The Godfather, it's from Taxi Driver, but whatever, if you parody Robert DeNiro in anything you HAVE to do the "you talkin' to me" shtick. Because that's what we all think of when we think of Robert De Niro. Kind of like how all Al Pacino parodies have to go "Say hello to my little [SOMETHING]!" at some point.

"I heard dat Martha DeBoar works here. And truth to dat rumor?!" Reggie barks. "Cause we'd sure like to buy some of dis expensive toilet water here!" When Mr. Swine says that Martha does NOT work there, Mikey demands, "Are you callin' my friend a liar? 'Cuz, he HEARD things... and I gotta be honest... I heard things." So the moral of today's story is: if a relative of yours gets fired, impersonate a celebrity and threaten their boss so they'll get their job back!

But guess who walks into the store? If you guessed "Robert De Porco and Joe Piggy", you're right! Mikey and Reggie's plan has been foiled. Oh, and Robert De Porco ALSO does the "Are you servin' ME?" thing.

"Listen to me very carefully. There are three ways of doing things around here: the right
way, the wrong way, and the way I do it."

(Also, the guy who did his voice sounds nothing like Robert De Niro)

When Mikey and Reggie get home, Martha is waiting there to chew them out. Mikey assures her that they have another plan to get her job back. Martha says that they'd better or else she will remove their ability to eat solid foods. And until then, they are on her "list", and you do not want to be on her "list". "I'm on so many lists, you'd think I lived in a grocery store," Reggie pipes up.

Mikey's new plan: they took a bunch of comment cards from Pi-Gee and they're going to write nice things about Martha on them, so that when Mr. Swine reads them, he'll give Martha her job back. Oh, and ever since Reggie has been sprayed with the perfume, he's been acting strangely feminine. When Mikey calls up E. Brian to ask about it, he says that he must have put too much estrogen in the formula, so it's now a feminizing spray.

The next day, not only is Reggie upset that Mikey didn't notice his new Van Wailin' t-shirt, but as they're putting the comment cards in the box, Mikey gets perfume in his eye again and winds up making a mess. Mr. Swine shows up and catches them red-handed... er, red-trottered. He's all "I'm not hiring Martha back!", to which Mikey declares that it's time to "kick it up a notch". I was going to make a reference to Emeril Lagasse, but then the show did it for me - specifically, they have Reggie say, "Bam!".

So, what do you think the name of the Emeril parody in this show is? "HAMril Lagasse",
perhaps?

Mikey and Reggie start boycotting Pi-Gee's and singing a protest song. Soon all the pigs in the mall are hyped up and boycotting the store too. "Perfume sucks!" one member of the crowd shouts... not sure how they got away with that in a kids' show.

"I can't ignore an angry mob parked outside my store!" Mr. Swine laments. "This pig knows when his bacon is cooked." He agrees to give Martha her job back, to which Martha says that she doesn't want her job back. Apparently her father solved her problem with the credit card companies, making all of Mikey and Reggie's efforts a colossal waste of time. Also, E. Brian shows up and sprays Reggie with an antidote so he'll stop being so feminine. The end.

What's the Verdict?

Pig City is another cartoon I'm putting in the "okay" category. There's nothing remarkable about it, but it's not awful. Not much is done with the whole "they're pigs" part of the premise, most of the pig puns weren't funny, and the characters aren't interesting at all. Ned's Newt is probably worse, but at least its bizarreness and obnoxious talking newt gave me stuff to talk about. This is just... something that existed. Unless you really like pigs, I wouldn't recommend giving it a watch. Still, there are far worse cartoons out there.

Frankly, I'm shocked that I made it through the entire review without making any jokes about Miss Piggy or Porky Pig. I was fully expecting to make at least ONE. I didn't even make any references to the other cartoon show about pigs I reviewed, Piggsburg Pigs!. Weird, huh?

Wednesday, April 10, 2024

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Piggsburg Pigs!"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

It took me a few minutes to realize that "Piggsburg" was intended to be a pun on "Pittsburgh". How embarassing is THAT?

Piggsburg Pigs! was the creation of Melissa Silverman at Ruby-Spears Productions. It premiered on FOX Kids in September 1990, receiving thirteen episodes before getting the axe. It took viewers to the town of Piggsburg, populated entirely by anthropomorphic pigs.

Our main characters, the Bacon Brothers - consisting of Bo, Portley, and Pighead - and their pet duck Quackers fight the evil plots of wolf brothers Huff and Puff, who desperately want to eat them for lunch. So at first glance, it seems like a modern take on The Three Little Pigs. But the Bacon Brothers and their pals also had to deal with supernatural danger from the spooky swamp outside of Piggsburg, the Forbidden Zone: swamp monsters, evil spirits, mummy aliens, that sort of thing. TV Tropes' page for the show mainly talks about how jarring it is to have these genuinely creepy monsters in a show with talking pigs.

Seemingly no one remembers this show. There's little to no fan art for it on DeviantArt, no other cartoon reviewers have taken a look at it, there are no articles online talking about it... zilch! It probably doesn't help that Piggsburg Pigs! never received a VHS or DVD release in the U.S. (a couple episodes were released on DVD in the U.K., though). I don't even know if there was any merchandise, aside from some McDonald's toys.

FOX Kids as a whole seems to have been home to a lot of cartoons that went nowhere. Aside from this, it also aired Zazoo U, that Little Shop of Horrors cartoon, Mad Jack the Pirate, Xyber 9: New Dawn, C-Bear and Jamal, Super Dave: Daredevil For Hire, and Cybersix - most of which ALSO only got thirteen episodes made. I don't know why so many of their cartoons didn't become bigger hits. I haven't actually watched most of them, so I have no idea if they were good or bad. It couldn't have just been the station - I mean, FOX Kids also aired stuff like Animaniacs, Where On Earth Is Carmen Sandiego, and The Tick so clearly SOMEBODY was watching the channel.

Why don't we take a look at Piggsburg Pigs! and see if we can figure out why the show was a flop? Fortunately, there are episodes uploaded to YouTube for us to watch.

Just a head's up - there are apparently a LOT of pig puns. In the intro alone, there's a sign reading "Newpork", the welcome sign for Piggsburg has "Porkulation?" written under it, and there's a car wash called "HogWash". We'll be watching the fourth episode, "Pighead's Brain". This is Piggsburg Pigs!.

The episode begins on a dark and stormy night. This charming abode is the castle of Dr. Sargasso, mad scientist. It's just sort of a rule that all mad scientists in cartoons need to live in spooky-looking castles. Since I guess living in normal houses just isn't EEEEEEEEEEEEVIL enough.

Though, to be fair, would YOU turn down the chance to live in a castle? I didn't think so.

Inside the castle, we see that Dr. Sargasso has built himself a Frankenstein's Monster knockoff, which he shall use to inflict pain and devastation on those that he hates the most. We also see that Dr. Sargasso and one of his two minions is human. So this is one of those cartoons where anthropomorphic animals coexist with humans? This raises some questions... if the pigs are anthropomorphic, are they still slaughtered to make pork products? If I lived in this world, I'd probably feel really awkward about eating bacon. 

The other minion, by the way, appears to be a cross between a werewolf and a gargoyle. I want to know this guy's story - was he just born that way, or is his weird appearance because of Dr. Sargasso's handiwork? Is there an entire species of werewolf-gargoyle hybrid beings in this world?

I also wonder what happened to Dr. Sargasso's eye.

They bring the Frankenstein's Monster knockoff to life, and Dr. Sargasso tells it that he wants revenge on the pigs of Piggsburg for banning him from their universities. Why did they ban him? Was it simply because he's not a pig? Gosh, who knew the Piggsburg Pigs were speciesist?

"I don't mean to complain, doc, but couldn't you have given me a full head of hair?"

The monster starts destroying stuff in the lab, so Dr. Sargasso and his minions have to throw a net over him. What's the problem? It's the brain they gave him - it's defective. I would make a joke here, but every joke I'm thinking of feels needlessly mean-spirited to me.

"I must get a NEW brain!" Dr. Sargasso says, and then we cut to two of the Bacon Brothers working on an invention that makes corn juice. The Art Carney-esque one says that he's got the brains for this sort of thing. Gee, I wonder if it'll be HIS brain that Dr. Sargasso attempts to steal. I don't know for sure because I don't know which pig is which. They haven't called any of them by name thus far.

I'm GUESSING this one is Pighead, but I'm not one hundred percent sure.

The Art Carney-esque one calls the fat Curly Howard-esque one "Portly", so that helps out a little. Then the one with the jeans and the red jacket comes in asking if they've seen his bowling ball, only to trip on an ear of corn and have the bowling ball land on his head. OUCH!

He must have a very thick skull if the bowling ball didn't, you know, crack his head open like
an egg. I'm pretty sure that's what would happen if a bowling ball landed on someone's head.

Portly calls the red jacket-wearing one Bo, so by process of elimination, the Art Carney-esque one must indeed be Pighead. Unbeknownst to the pigs, outside their house... which looks like a barn, a nice touch...

I particularly like how the roof is made of hay.

A truck is pulling up. And in that truck are Huff and Puff, who intend to get their paws on the pigs using a cannon. Huff is the one in the cannon, Puff is holding the fuse.

Methinks Huff and Puff have been watching too many Wile E. Coyote cartoons.

When Puff pulls the fuse, the back door of the truck closes, and Huff winds up slamming into it. So no pulled pork sandwiches for Huff and Puff today.

Back inside the house, Portly complains that Pighead is so dumb he can't do anything right. A girl pig named Dottie (voiced by Tara Strong) runs in with proof that Pighead isn't dumb - the results of their school's aptitude test. Pighead got the highest score, which makes him even smarter than Albert Swinestein... wouldn't "Albert EinSWINE" be a better pun?

I gotta ask - did Bo get that jacket from Alvin the Chipmunk?

"With my smarts, we'er sure to win the science fair!" Pighead declares. At their school, Pighead is interviewed by a reporter who I'm sure has some sort of pig pun for a name (Christiane Amanpork? Gloria Swinenem? Please tell me I'm clever). And wouldn't you know it, Dr. Sargasso and his minions just so happen to be watching this on TV. "A genius..." Dr. Sargasso purrs. "His brain could be our answer!"

Y'know, for a show about talking pigs, this cartoon is actually pretty accurate - pigs are generally typecast in cartoons as dim-witted oafs (see also the pigs in Barnyard, Pig Goat Banana Cricket, and Pearls Before Swine), but in real life they're quite intelligent. Studies have found that they're smarter than cats, dogs, and even three year old children. Which begs the question, if they're so smart, why do we eat them? Or is it just the pigs who blow their money on lottery tickets and think Seth MacFarlane is a master impressionist who we send to slaughterhouses?

Dr. Sargasso isn't the only one who wants to get his hands on Pighead - Huff and Puff spy on Pighead as he's leaving the school, and they deduce that if they eat him, they could become smarter too. Then they fall out of the tree and into a canyon, just to demonstrate even further that they are perhaps even more incompetent than Scratch and Grounder.

Is it even legal to eat another anthropomorphic animal in this world?

Pighead is approached by the female human minion of Dr. Sargasso, who introduces herself as Mona. Upon seeing her, the Bacon Brothers go hog-wild. What is it with fictional pigs and humans having the hots for each other? Miss Piggy's had her fair share of human admirers... Porky snagged a human girlfriend in a couple episodes of The Looney Tunes Show... I'm pretty sure there's an episode of the Timon and Pumbaa show where Pumbaa got into a relationship with a human...

Oh, and the duck sounds like Donald Duck. Good thing Disney's lawyers supposedly never watched the show.

So, if the duck in love with her too? I'm really weirded out here...

"I work for a famous university. We've heard about your fantastic brain and we'd like you to join our teaching staff," Mona claims. "Let me show you our campus, hmmm?" The girl pig urges him to say "No", since he has to go home and work on his science project - and also, y'know, kids are taught to stay away from strangers. But Pighead decides to go with Mona. How exactly did this pig get the highest score on the aptitude test again?

"Do you believe in interspecies dating?"

"Well, I've dated a lot of guys who turned out to be real PIGS, if you know what I mean..."

Mona leads Pighead and Quackers to her limo (now he's taking a ride from a stranger... hasn't Pighead been taught about stranger danger yet?)... which is being driven by the werewolf/gargoyle thing. I would not trust this creature behind the wheel.

Who gave this guy a driver's license?!

Upon seeing the freak of nature behind the wheel, Pighead and Quackers realize that, hey, this Mona lady might be evil, leading to a fight between the duck and the werewolf/gargoyle/possibly part gorilla as well beast. Eventually the werewolf/gargoyle thing... y'know what, I'm gonna call him Fangs, seems like a good name for the guy... throws Quackers out of the car, but he grabs onto the antennae... for a while, then he grabs onto the bumper... by the time the limo pulls up to Dr. Sargasso's castle, Quackers has somehow been stripped of his feathers. He is one plucked duck.

Donald... sorry, QUACKERS finds Pighead's friends and tries to fill them in as to what's going on, but a pig who seems to have swiped clothing from Fievel Mouskewitz's wardrobe thinks that he's an imposter so getting their help might be quite difficult.

"Shut up! My Fievel Mouskewitz costume is FANTASTIC!"

After being subject to some WHACKY SHENANIGANS, Quackers makes it into the house and gets the pigs inside to follow him to Dr. Sargasso's castle. I love how during this scene they're talking about how Pighead must be in big, big trouble and yet they have cheery smiles on their faces. Clearly they're mucho concerned about Pighead.

Where's Bo, by the way?

Miss Piggy, Link Hogthrob, and Petunia Pig: the early years.

The blonde girl pig comes up with an idea to rescue Pighead. They'd better hurry, because at the moment he's strapped to a table and about to be put in a "brain transference chamber". Before Dr. Sargasso can do any brain-transferring, in walk Portly, Dottie, Quackers, and the blonde girl pig whose name hasn't been mentioned yet covered in swamp muck. While Portly is distracting Dr. Sargasso, Mona, and Fangs, Dottie and the blonde girl pig wheel Pighead out of the room... and down a stairway.

Whenever Portly speaks, I expect him to go "I don't get no respect! Nyuck nyuck nyuck!".

They all go flying out a window and land in the back of the truck they used to get to the castle. Quackers drives them away, and when they get back to their house, Portly decides to build a harmless copy of Pighead's brain out of clay. That way, if Dr. Sargasso and his gruesome twosome show up, they'll just give them THAT. Then they go see their pal Pigger the Digger.

Or rather, Pig Fester Addams.

Portly asks Pig Fester Adams if they can borrow his genuine plastic pig skeleton so they can make a dummy that looks like Pighead. They put Pighead's clothes on it and presto, they've got a dummy. Dr. Sargasso will never know the difference!

Fun fact: according to Wikipedia, this character is voiced by Keith Knight, the same guy who
voiced Lowly Worm in The Busy World of Richard Scarry. Imagine Lowly doing a Curly
Howard impression and presto, you've got Portly.

They put a pig mask on the skeleton to complete the look, then leave to get Pighead some new clothes. But it's not Dr. Sargasso who shows up once they're out of the room, but rather Huff and Puff. Thinking that it's the real Pighead, they grab the dummy and make a run for it. Pighead, Portly, and Quackers chase the wolves back to their place, finding them reading a cookbook full of pork recipes.

Fortunately, Quackers has a very, very, very, very, very stretchy neck (so he's the Mr. Fantastic of Waterfowl, I guess?), which they use to snatch the dummy and sneak out. They put the dummy in Pighead's bed, so when Mona and Fangs show up to pignap him again, Fangs mistakes the dummy for the actual Pighead and grabs it.

No, seriously, where IS Bo? Heck, where are the Pork Brothers' parents?

And don't the Pork Brothers lock their bedroom doors?

When Dr. Sargasso puts the fake brain in the monster and brings it to life, he discovers that it's still a mindless destruction machine. He realizes that he's been tricked, and he is MAD! I expect Ashton Kutcher to pop out from behind something and yell "You got PUNKED!".

But wait! Why doesn't he send the monster to Piggsburg to get Pighead? Surely the monster won't fail him like Mona and Fangs did! Honestly, though, at this point I can't help but wonder if it's really worth all the trouble. Surely you can find another brain.

We then cut to the Piggsburg Science Fair, where Portly shows off what he claims is an automatic teeth-brushing hair-combing machine. From the looks of it, I wouldn't expect Portly to join MENSA anytime soon.

Huff and Puff are there, too, still trying to grab Pighead and have themselves some "brain food". Bo has invented a wheelbarrow that digs, rakes, plants, AND waters at the same time, which I guess explains why he vanished from the episode for a while. Who will win the science fair? A better question is, who will grab Pighead first - the wolves or the monster, who's just barged in through a wall (since using the door like a normal person isn't EEEEEEEEEEVIL enough)?

That vein in his hand is freaking me out...

Everyone uses their inventions to take out the monster, Dr. Sargasso, Mona, and Fangs. Oh, and it turns out that the guys grading the aptitude test made a mistake - Pighead is not, in fact, a genius. And here's something else that might take you by surprise - the main ingredient in apple pie is APPLES.

What's the Verdict?

Piggsburg Pigs! isn't anything fantastic, but it's not a bad show. The characters aren't unlikeable, just flat. What we know about them (from this episode at least) is that... uh, Bo is the leader, Pighead is dopey, and Portly is fat and sounds like Curly Howard? The animation is fine for the most part, but the coloring is inconsistent - like, one second Huff will be wearing a purple shirt and the next his shirt his suddenly green. The show is also not very funny. But it's decent as a whole, the voice actors all do a good job and there isn't anything awful about it. Heck, there aren't even as many lousy pig puns as I expected there to be! I still don't know why the show only got thirteen episodes. Was it the time slot? Were pigs just not super popular in the 1990s?

Nah, that couldn't have been it...

I've probably said this before, but doing a funny review of something that you find just okay is HARD. It's easy to make jokes about something horrible. I don't know if it's because the show itself doesn't give me enough to work with or because I just stink at writing funny reviews. Probably the latter.

Ah well. Next time we'll be reviewing another 1990s cartoon, ProStars. Maybe I'll get more joke material out of that. Until then, eh-buh-dee-eh-buh-dee-eh-buh-dee-that's all, folks!