Back to the Drawing Board: The Scrapped "Brave Little Toaster" Remake

Welcome to another edition of Back to the Drawing Board, where I desperately try to find as much information about scrapped animated films as I can so I have something to write about. This is not always easy, you know.

Are you familiar with a movie called The Brave Little Toaster?

I'm sure you do! Still sort of obscure in the real world but often brought up as a timeless (if terrifying) classic on the internet, The Brave Little Toaster is important for several reasons. It helped get the careers of such people in the animation industry as Joe Ranft, Kirk Wise, Kevin Lima, and John Lasseter (yes, I know the guy's controversial, but I felt like I should still mention him) off the ground. And... well, okay, maybe that's the only reason it's important. But it's a good movie!

The film's limited release prevented it from being super-popular - I don't think it was ever released in theaters, it was shown at various festivals - but folks found out about it through its airing on the Disney Channel and release on home media. This helped Toaster and his (or maybe it's her? What IS the toaster's gender?) appliance amigos gain a cult following. And in case you're wondering, I think the movie has already been reviewed by too many other people online for me to do a review of myself. However, I do have plans to review at least one of its direct to video sequels.

In 2012, it was announced that Waterman Entertainment had acquired the rights to do a live action/CGI remake of The Brave Little Toaster. Live action remakes of animated films weren't really a thing at the time... Disney had released the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland, but that's the only one I could think of (there was also the 2006 Charlotte's Web, but that wasn't a remake of the Hanna-Barbera film per say, just another adaptation of the original book). And as we've learned since then, doing a live action remake of an animated film generally does not work. Characters and elements that were designed for animation have a habit of looking spooky in live action. Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

The film didn't get off the ground. I don't know why. Maybe they got cold feet because of the original film's relative obscurity. Maybe they were worried about potentially ruining a classic. Or maybe they just didn't think people would go see a movie about a toaster. Concept art for the film has popped up online, concept art that I will be including in this post. I don't know when the film was scrapped, but I do know it wasn't before 2015. How do I know this? Because in 2024, the script for the remake - written by John Derevlany - was uploaded to the Internet Archive, and it's dated November 27th, 2015.

I have my doubts that any remake of The Brave Little Toaster, even one written by someone who wrote for The Angry Beavers, would've done the original justice. But who knows? Why don't we take a look at this script and see if perhaps this had the potential to be a great Brave Little Toaster for a new generation or if it's for the best it got sent to the junkyard?

The movie starts off with a close-up of "a shiny chrome edge". What could it be? A sword? A spaceship? Some other chrome thing? A narrator's voice tells us, "Destiny. We all have one. A reason for which we are chosen. For which we are built. For me, I fight, I live, I dream... for one purpose and one purpose only." Of course, it's revealed that the "shiny chrome edge" belongs to the Toaster, and his purpose is to make toast.

This is what Toaster would've looked like.

He is with his fellow appliances: some nightlights who weren't in the original film, Kirby the grouchy vaccuum cleaner, Radio, Blanky (or rather, "Blankie" as his name is spelled here), a refrigerator, a coffee maker, and Lampy... oh, I'm sorry, Lampy's not in this version. He's been replaced by a female lamp named Watson who swoons over lamps in department store catalogs. I guess the filmmakers thought there needed to be at least one female appliance in the bunch (assuming Toaster isn't a girl, that is. Like I said, does ANYBODY know their gender?). And young Rob is the Andy to their Woody and Buzz. And it's very important that Rob and his parents don't find out that the appliances are alive, because wouldn't you freak out if you discovered that your waffle iron was sentient too?

We get a montage of the appliances being used by Rob. "We thought we had a lifetime warranty on fun in the old cabin. We REALLY thought the good times would NEVER end," Toaster tells us. But, after the summer that a high school-aged Rob visits the cabin, three summers go by without the appliances seeing Rob. They're starting to think that he and his family shall never return, and that really upsets Blanky. Unlike the original movie, there is no sequence of the characters dancing to a Little Richard song.

Here's what Radio would've looked like. He's staring at us.
I find that disturbing.

But like in the original movie, the appliances hear a car approaching. And in that car is... NOT Rob, but a realtor who parks his luxury Sedan in front of a neighboring cabin and puts down a "For Sale" sign. Then a garbage truck arrives at the other cabin and Blanky watches in horror as appliances from the cabin are carried out and thrown into the truck. For him, it's the equivalent of seeing a giant monster eat human beings.

Radio suggest that they all hide in the refrigerator - hey, if you can survive a nuclear bomb in one of those things, surely they'd be safe from a dumpster too. The next day, Rob returns to the cabin with his girlfriend, Lily. In the original film, his girlfriend's name was Chris. I don't know why they changed it. He also has a Smartphone. Y'know, 'cause it's the 2010s.

A smartphone with angry eyebrows, so I'm gonna go out on a limb
and guess that it's the villain.

Fortunately, even though he's been getting messages from a realtor, Rob doesn't want to sell the cabin. He LOVES it there, and when he's done with college, he wants to move in there with Lily. He finds all the appliances in the fridge. So I guess the entire plot of the movie has been avoided, right?

Rob and Lily head out to get some bread, and the appliances are very happy to have Rob back. Then they are introduced to the smartphone - or, as it's called, an Allphone. She shows them all of her apps and some cat videos... because, again, the 2010s... do people still watch cat videos anymore? Is that still a thing? Anyhow, the Allphone is all snooty because there isn't any Wi-Fi in the cabin and brags about how she does everything for Rob. "I keep his schedule, his correspondence, his finances, and I'm connected to all of the 'smart appliances' in his home. I even manage his home security system," she claims. Eventually Toaster gets fed up with this phone's attitude and sends it flying across the countertop, but Radio saves her with his antennae before she can fall off the counter and starts flirting with her by saying "This baby extends, by the way." Ah, I always thought what The Brave Little Toaster needed was some innuendos!

Allphone tells the appliances that Rob is selling the cabin, and because the appliances apparently didn't hear Rob and Lily talking from inside the refrigerator, they believe her. Before Kirby can suck her up, the humans return, and Allphone tells Rob that there's an urgent emergency going on at their apartment. Thus, Rob and Lily leave without making any toast.

Here's what Kirby would've looked like.

Even though Rob isn't selling the cabin, the realtor hammers a "For Sale" sign in front of the cabin the next day. He says that the owner of the apartment sent him a text saying that he wanted it to be sold pronto. Toaster immediately deduces that Allphone is to blame and declares that they have to stop her. They have to tell Rob what's going on! And that means going to the city! Their mode of transportation is a mop bucket. Toaster shall be joined in his quest by Radio, Blanky and Watson. When one of the mop bucket's wheels pops off, Toaster suggests that Kirby could carry them, but Kirby initially refuses to go with them, even though it's either that or get thrown in the approaching garbage truck. "Ugh..." Kirby groans. "I'll give you this: you're a Brave Little Toaster."

Long story short, Kirby decides to go with them. They jump aboard him and race out the back door. Alas, the extension cords powering Kirby are only so long, so they don't get far. After hiding from the realtor in the garage, Radio suggests that they use an old wagon and car battery in there to get to the city (the writer says that he swapped out the office chair that they used in the original film for a wagon because wagons travel off-road better). They have to face off against a ferocious lawnmower, but fortunately it has no wheels. Inside the cabin, the nightlights manage to lock out the realtor, and our five main appliances manage to head out into the woods.

They sing a song - NOT "City of Light", but a song that apparently would've been called "Over the Counter and Into the Woods". Meanwhile, Rob and Lily arrive back at their apartment and Lily points out that the Allphone seems to be controlling Rob's life. Just think, this movie could've been a cautionary tale. We're ALL a bit too dependent on our phones, aren't we? Well, maybe I'M not. I really only use mine to listen to Spotify.

Say hello to Watson (still called Lampy in the concept art).

Creepy-looking, isn't she?

Night falls, and Toaster and his chums settle for the night in a clearing. Unlike in the original film, Toaster allows Blanky to snuggle with him. Awww. The next morning, the appliances back at the cabin subject the realtor to Home Alone-style shenanigans. He's probably going to assume the cabin is haunted by the end of the script. I can't help but feel a bit bad for the guy, he's not evil, he's just doing his job.

To get to the city, Toaster, Blanky, Watson, Kirby, and Radio have to climb a MOUNTAIN in a thunder and lightning storm. The raindrops make Blanky wet, and apparently when Blanky gets wet, he acts drunk. Eventually, the car battery starts sparking, but Toaster gets the idea to have Blanky cover it. Alas, the battery winds up EXPLODING, throwing everyone in opposite directions. This tense moment is followed by more WHACKY SHENANIGANS with the realtor back at the cabin. He is scared out of his wits by the VCR, the electric toothbrush, and one of those mounted singing fish. Does the third one qualify as an appliance? Of course, the original movie showed that CARS were sentient, so I guess this isn't too far-fetched...

I bet that since you stared at this photo, you either have "Don't Worry, Be Happy"
or "Gimme Back That Fillet-O-Fish" playing in your head nonstop, don't you?

The realtor calls up Rob to tell him that his house is haunted, but Rob is confused by the realtor's mention of him sending texts. Allphone disconnects the conversation and blames it on "signal failure". Meanwhile, Kirby and Toaster wake up in a cave with no idea of where the others are. Kirby is ready to throw in the towel. "You know, when I was young, I used to be like you. Thought I'd be cleaning carpets forever," he tells Toaster. "Then one day, the owners got themselves a fancy, new cordless vac. I got sent upstate to the cabin. Did hard time in that closet. I spent years alone in The Dark Place, choking on mothballs and dreaming of the sweet saxony plush that I'd never feel beneath my rollers again. That was before you guys showed up. But being alone all those years, I realized something that none of you have yet. Nobody needs us anymore."

But Toaster refuses to give up, and he convinces Kirby to keep going. They go down a cliff and find Blanky and Radio, who were hiding in a log, and Watson, who is now acting like a crazy war general. Then they all wind up in a field filled with rusty appliances... I'm going to assume this is some kind of junkyard. A refrigerator tells them that they might find a plug or two in a nearby boathouse. However, it's not going to be easy with the guys who own the junkyard using the rusty appliances as TARGET PRACTICE.

Dear lord, what did they do to Blanky?!

After Watson does more G.I. Joe re-enactments, they get into the boathouse and Toaster gives Watson a new bulb to snap her out of her army fantasies. Blanky gets nervous because the inside of the warehouse is filled with random appliance parts (described as being "like an appliance warehouse blew up"), shelved appliances with missing parts and wiring sticking out, and a swinging lamp. Do you think this one would've sounded like Peter Lorre too?

The hanging lamp explains that this boathouse is "The Dis-Assembly Line of Fate. The place where OLD appliances meet their NEW nightmares. They find us at swap meets and garage sales. Then they do their experiments, trying to 'fix' us. We're either torn apart in here, or dumped out there on the shooting range. Hard to say which is worse." No, there's no musical number about how the place is like a B-Movie Show, sorry. A leaf blower, a fan, and an electric compressor lead Toaster and his pals to the docks outside, where they climb into a dinghy and sail off down the river. Of course, they still have whitewater rapids to deal with, but they survive and make it to a ranger station. Then Toaster has to sneak into an animal clinic to save Blanky, who one of the rangers is letting a dog use. Though Blanky seems to like it in there. He's being used, after all.

THEN they have to save Radio, who gets stuck on a helicopter. When Toaster, Watson and Kirby tries to save Radio, they get carried off by the copter as well... and then fall off and land in a tree. After that, it's off to a service station to recharge. They meet an all-electric vehicle named Alva.

This artist's rendering of Alva.

Kirby manages to recharge - a bit too much, perhaps - and it's off to the city. But their timing could be better - Rob is back at the cabin, wondering where the radio and the toaster are.

They get to Rob's apartment, but before they can go inside, a junk collector shows up and Kirby distracts him by pulling away his shopping cart so that Toaster, Watson, and Radio can go inside. They take the elevator up to the floor where Rob's apartment is and find the door, and guess who's there to greet them? That's right, Allphone! She's controlling every appliance in the apartment and is not going to let Toaster, Watson, and Radio leave. She has a 3D Printer make an iron maiden in the shape of a lamp to torture Watson with, and for Toaster and Radio she has remote-controlled cars and "MindStorm LEGO-style robots". Toaster and Radio try to fight them, and Watson is saved by a hunky desk lamp named Ray (one of the only appliances that Allphone doesn't control). Eventually, Toaster has to face off against... pause for dramatic effect... the ULTRA-TOASTER.

I Googled "Ultra-Toaster" and this is what I found.

Also, Radio finds out from a laptop that he's just a knock-off and does not take it well. Some delivery drones that Allphone ordered appear in the window. Just when it seems like Toaster, Radio and Watson are done for, Toaster sees Rob's car in the window, which he promptly finds himself dangling out of. Eventually, Toaster, Watson, Radio, and Allphone fall out the window and into a dumpster below. They survive the fall, but Allphone winds up with a cracked screen. "No one wants a cracked smartphone!" she laments.

The dumpster is grabbed by a garbage truck. Toaster says that this is all his fault, but then Allphone says that she's not built to last like they are - she's doomed to be obsolete five minutes after Rob takes her home. Wait, are we supposed to be feeling sorry for her now? A few minutes ago, she was trying to murder Toaster, Watson and Radio. I'm not feeling sorry for her.

Anyhow, then Allphone gets the idea to get Rob's attention by going off inside the garbage truck. Rob runs over and tries to open the dumpster, which is now being lifted by the truck. The result - Rob falls in. But Alva saves the day by showing up and stopping the truck in its tracks. Then Kirby pops out of her trunk. Hooray for Deus Ex Machinas, I suppose. The driver is very confused about all this (wouldn't you be?), especially when Kirby attacks him. But in his attempt to get away, he accidentally hits the lever, which makes the bin keep tipping towards the crushing interior. Like in the original movie, Toaster jumps into the gears of the truck's lifting mechanism, but he is saved by Kirby. They pull Rob out of the dumpster and Toaster convinces Kirby that Allphone is a good guy now.

Soon everyone - aside from Blanky, who's found his destiny at the animal clinic - is back at the cabin. All's well that ends well. So I guess the moral of this story is that old technology AND new technology can coexist? Or maybe it's not to let your iPhone control everything in your apartment? It's one of those. Not sure which one.

I'll be honest, I was expecting to hate this. I wouldn't say I LIKED it, but... I was expecting this to be full of obnoxious pop culture references, crude jokes, and risque humor like every other live action/CGI movie for kids out there. But John Derevlany clearly has respect for the original film, and it shows in this script. The characters, aside from Lampy, aren't changed too drastically - a lot of Radio's lines, in particular, feel like they could've come from the original. Most of the jokes work. Even the new stuff they added to "modernize" the story doesn't feel too out of place, although having a smartphone be the antagonist certainly would've made the film feel less timeless.

So, do I think this Brave Little Toaster remake should've been made? Well, no.

Look, as I've said before, what works in animation won't automatically work in live action. In animation, you can buy the idea of toasters and desk lamps talking and going on crazy adventures. In live action, it's a lot harder to take seriously. I mean, you saw that concept art, didn't you?

Seriously, what did they do to Blanky?

Also, I'm fully aware that this is just my personal opinion, but the original film is fine as is. Even if this remake had been good, you still run into the problem of "what was the point?". If you make it too similar to the original, people are left wondering why they don't just rewatch the original. If you make it too different, it won't feel the same. Sure, the original film is dated and has a lot of filler (that scene in the meadow? Yeah, that was needed), but that's all part of the charm. Although I think we all could've done without the creepy firefighter clown. I wonder if they considered including THAT in the remake...

By the way - yes, I know The Brave Little Toaster is based on a book. I've never read it so I have no idea if this screenplay is closer to the book.

Further reading:
- A Platypus Comix article about the original film