Let's Watch This... Again: An Episode of "My Gym Partner's a Monkey"

Something I've been wondering for a while: is it fair to judge a show based on one episode? On the one hand, for most of the shows I watch, each episode is actually two segments, so technically I'm reviewing two episodes... but is it fair to judge a show based on TWO episodes? However, generally, I find that one episode of a show is enough to make me decide whether or not I want to watch more episodes... for example, I liked the episode of Bonkers that I watched, so I decided to watch more episodes. I didn't like the episode of Loonatics Unleashed that I watched, so I didn't seek out any more episodes.

Here's the best way I can put it... let's say you just bought a bag of chips. You eat one or two chips. They taste lousy. Are you going to scarf down the rest of the bag, or are you going to toss 'em? Well, okay, I wouldn't recommend tossing them, that wastes food... but if you don't like what you've had so far, why eat MORE?

But, in the interest of fairness, I've decided I should watch at least ONE more episode of each show I gave a negative review for to see if the first time around I just happened to watch one of the weaker episodes. And first on the "Let's Watch This... Again" list is My Gym Partner's a Monkey.

For those of you who haven't read my previous review of the show, My Gym Partner's a Monkey premiered on Cartoon Network in 2006. It focused on the adventures of Adam Lyon, a human boy (voiced by Nika Futterman) who gets transferred to a school for anthropomorphic animals because a spelling error caused people to assume that his last name was "Lion" and, as a result, that he was a lion despite the fact that he looks absolutely nothing like one. His best friend is Jake, a spider monkey voiced by Tom Kenny. I think Cartoon Network believed that Jake's being a monkey voiced by Tom Kenny would automatically make him hysterical, but it doesn't.

Previously, I watched and reviewed an episode that consisted of the segments "Chew On This" and "The A Word". The first segment focused on the animals trying human food for the first time and becoming addicted. The second had Jake throw a fit because Adam used the expression "go ape". Neither episode was particularly good. The weird thing is, I actually liked this show when it was on. But hey, I liked Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends when it was on too, so make of that what you will.

But like I said, maybe the episode of the show I reviewed before was just one of the weaker ones. Who knows? Maybe the show is better than I initially thought. We'll be watching the fifteenth episode, "Poop Scoop" and "Leaf of Absence" to see if the show is worth giving another chance.

Don't worry, this episode actually doesn't have much in the way of toilet humor.

We start off with Adam and his friends hard at work on the school newspaper. Well, except for Jake. He's bossing Adam around. I don't know who put him in charge of the newspaper or why they would, but I guess the writers just wanted an excuse to have Tom Kenny shout his dialogue.

Shouldn't Jake be the one at the typewriter? I've heard that if you put a bunch of monkeys
at typewriters, they'll eventually write the entire works of Shakespeare.

Once the newspaper is done, Jake grabs one and rushes into the bathroom with it. Adam protests that there's no time to take a dump because their readers are waiting. Windsor (the gorilla voiced by Rick Gomez), Slips (the python also voiced by Rick Gomez), and Lupe (the loud and obnoxious Spanish-accented toucan voiced by Grey DeLisle-Griffin) inform Adam that nobody actually reads the school paper. The only reason they print so many copies, Windsor claims, is because newspapers are the least expensive way of cleaning up their various messes.

Is it weird that I'm wondering why the python has hair?

And just in case you didn't get the joke, Jake then straight-up says that he uses it as toilet paper. Subtlety is for chumps.

Ingrid (the giraffe also voiced by Grey DeLisle-Griffin) swoons that Jake is "so sophisticated". "Well, not everyone is gifted with such a naturally gorgeous posterior!" Jake claims, showing the audience his butt. And yes, I am indeed going to include a screencap of that. If I had to look at it, then so do you. Sorry.

Ignoring the whole "butts aren't funny" thing, real spider monkeys don't even have butts like that. Of course, there's a pretty good chance that they initially just designed Jake as a generic monkey with no specific species in mind and then assigned the name "Spider monkey" to him as an afterthought.

But that's not ALL they use the newspaper for! When shredded, it makes great bedding material, and Slips uses it to make funny hats. Just then, Mr. Mandrill (Maurice LaMarche) shows up and tells the kids that Principal Pixiefrog (also Maurice LaMarche) is cutting the school's journalism program. They'll have to use sawdust to clean up their various messes. Jake shows the audience his butt again (this time I'll spare you the screencap, though).

This is Mr. Mandrill. Unlike Jake, he actually looks like the primate that he's supposed
to be.

Adam suggests that they try to save the paper, maybe by writing some actually interesting articles. "Why would we do that? We get all the news we need from the magic box," Jake claims - of  course, he's referring to the TV, which hypnotizes the animals. Huh, I guess the Danny DeVito-voiced lobster was right... the TV really IS a "mind-control box".

"WE WILL WATCH CARTOON NETWORK. WE WILL NOT SWITCH THE CHANNEL OVER
TO NICKELODEON. WE WILL TELL EVERYONE HOW FUNNY MONKEYS ARE..."

But then Adam accidentally plants the idea of dedicating the paper to gossip in Jake's head. When Adam suggests that maybe the lunch lady, Mrs. Tusk (the Cree Summer-voiced elephant we talked about in "Chew On This"), might be in a relationship, Jake and the others start whipping up a story with zero evidence behind it.

Get it? Instead of "Gazette" it says "Gazelle" because they're animals?

To make things even harder for Adam, the article claims that HE'S the one in love with Mrs. Tusk. When Adam confronts Jake on this, Jake decides to use his words out of context. So now everyone thinks that Adam has a thing for elephants.

"In other news, it has been rumored that Cartoon Network is going to start airing live action
programming. It has been pointed out to them that the name of the channel is 'CARTOON Network',
but they don't care, they think there's money to be made..."

So, yeah. This is one of those "tabloid spreads lies about and embarrasses characters" episodes. I can name several other cartoons that did this exact same plot. Although those episodes didn't claim that their characters get turned on when they watch Dumbo.

How far does Jake plan to take this, anyhow? Is he going to start claiming that Mrs. Tusk "returns Adam's affections" yet? What if she gets branded a pedophile and fired as a result? I mean, sheesh, we've seen how quick the staff at this school are to jump to conclusions.

Adam begs Mr. Mandrill to stop Jake, but he's no help at all - he says that circulation is though the roof, and advertisers are lining up for ad space. Here's a question: are humans, in this world, aware that animals are anthropomorphic? Can an animal go to a store run by a human and buy something? If not, what use do animals have for money?

Then again, they probably use it to "clean up their various messes."

"But Jake's just making stuff up! He's printing LIES about me!" Adam protests. Why, next he'll probably be claiming that Craig McCracken gave the 2016 Powerpuff Girls reboot his blessing! Yes, I'm still miffed at Tom Kenny for spreading that lie. And no, I don't subscribe to the "oh, he was probably just misinformed" claim, I sincerely doubt Tom is that gullible.

Unfortunately, Mr. Mandrill is convinced that Adam DOES have a crush on Mrs. Tusk. Adam tells him that he has about as much a crush on her as he does on Coach Gills (Brian Doyle-Murray), and... you can see where this is going, right?

Okay, I'll admit that the "artist rendering" is kind of funny.

So now everyone thinks that Adam wants to get it on with a fish. And on top of THAT, Jake then decides to print a story about Adam having a thing for Mrs. Warthog (also Grey DeLisle-Griffin). Adam goes to Principal Pixiefrog in the hopes that he'll stop Jake's reign of terror, but of course Principal Pixiefrog is zero help whatsoever. Are we supposed to find Adam's frustration funny? Because I don't.

"I hear you go 'hog-wild' for my assistant, if you know what I mean... wink wink,
nudge nudge..."

Adam declares that if Principal Pixiefrog doesn't do something about Jake's lie-spreading, he'll sue. "Normally, that would frighten me. But I'm afraid constitutional protection regarding freedom of the press supercedes my unnatural fear of lawsuit," the frog replies. "Plus, I love reading this stuff!"

And none of Adam's other friends are doing anything to stop Jake. In fact, they're going along with it - Ingrid (the giraffe also voiced by Grey-DeLisle Griffin) uses the horoscopes to claim that Adam has a crush on even MORE students at the school. Adam demands to know how Jake would like it if HE made up stories about HIM. Jake claims that he wouldn't have a problem with it. "FINE! I'm gonna make up a big fat lie about YOU!" Adam snaps, pushing buttons on his typewriter. And, surprise surprise, that lie turns out to be regarding Jake's butt.

Personally, I would've gone with "LAZLO IS A MORE LIKEABLE CHARACTER". But
that's just ME...

And wouldn't you know it? Despite Jake's claiming earlier that he'd be okay with Adam spreading lies about him, the claim that he has cheek implants makes him start crying. "That's not made up, Adam! It's my most precious secret!" he sobs. We get another close up of Jake's butt (because I really needed to see that again. Thanks a lot), then Adam tries to save face by saying he was taking about the cheeks on Jake's face, not his butt. "Oh, great! Now everyone knows about THOSE, too!" Jake laments.

Everyone else is mad at Adam now, too. Apparently it's A-OKAY to print lies about somebody, but printing a lie that unbenknownst to whoever printed it is actually true? Get out the torches and pitchforks. Principal Pixiefrog complains that now they're going to get sued for defamation of character. Adam agrees with me and asks what happened to "constitutional protection regarding freedom of the press supercedes my unnatural fear of lawsuit", to which Mr. Mandrill claims that when you print something that's true, ethical standards can kick in. Fortunately, Jake has agreed to let the school bribe him into not sueing - specifically, by giving him toilet paper with dollar signs on it.

Oh, jeez, they DO use money for "cleaning up their various messes". It's hard to make jokes
about a show that makes all the jokes for me.

Jake tells Adam that he'd be happy to share the wealth with him... provided Adam doesn't write any more stories about his butt. Now, what Adam SHOULD do is tell Jake to go jump off a flagpole, but instead he agrees, but only if Jake stops telling lies about how Adam is madly in love with every female teacher at the school.

Unsurprisingly, Jake weasels his way around that by going on the school's news show and claiming that Adam is in love with every female teacher at the school. And presumably nobody who read Adam the riot act for revealing Jake's cheek implants to everyone is going to stop Jake.

Say what you will about Bloo, and I'll agree, but I think even HE would look at this
and go "Wow, Jake's a lousy friend."

To make things even MORE uncomfortable, now all of the female teachers at the school have the hots for Adam. So apparently half the staff at Charles Darwin Middle School are pedophiles. And are into humans. Also, I remember another episode revealed that Mrs. Tusk is married.

I have one word for you, Adam: TRANSFER. Or at the very least follow through on that threat to sue the school.

And we're supposed to LAUGH at this?

Okay, next segment..

We start "Leaf of Absence" off in... a courtroom. An elephant is sueing Principal Pixiefrog, but everyone else in the courtroom is a human. This just raises further questions as to how this world of humans co-existing with anthropomorphic animals works.

Maybe that elephant is Mrs. Trunk's husband, and he's suing Principal Pixiefrog for allowing
one of his students to spread rumors about his wife being a pedophile.

Why is the elephant sueing the school? Because there isn't enough elephant grass growing on campus, meaning that he was forced to attend classes in a hostile environment. The judge orders Principal Pixiefrog to pay him one hundred cashew nuts (I guess the writers thought peanuts was too obvious). "NOT CASHEW NUTS!" Principal Pixiefrog exclaims. "THOSE ARE THE MOST EXPENSIVE!"

Oh, wait, never mind. It was all just a dream.

"I just had a horrible dream where I was the mascot of a failing TV channel!"

He begs a nearby gigantic bag of money to promise him it'll never leave. And it actually talks to him. Yes, there's a talking bag of money. Just go with it.

Oh, wait. It was a dream within a dream. Principal Pixiefrog IS getting sued. And the judge declares that he will not be getting any bail. Serves him right for not doing anything to stop Jake.

"But your honor, I swear I didn't put a hit out on the Rainforest Café frog! That was my
twin brother! Honest!"

Upon arriving at school, Principal Pixiefrog tells Mrs. Warthog that they have to pay the elephant a truckload of cashews. Then he heads home to watch cable programming.

Then we cut to Jake, as per usual, being incredibly annoying.

"LAUGH AT ME! I'M A MONKEY, AND THAT AUTOMATICALLY MAKES ME FUNNY!"

Adam tells Jake to knock it off, and then they come across the new substitute principal, Principal Wolverine (Chris Edgerly).

Now, this is what an actual wolverine looks like:

And this  is what Principal Wolverine looks like:

That's supposed to be a wolverine? Jake at least looks like SOME kind of monkey even if he doesn't look like a spider monkey. If his name wasn't "Principal Wolverine", I wouldn't be able to tell WHAT this character was supposed to be.

Jake recognizes Principal "Wolverine" as the meanest substitute principal in the entire school district. And seeing as the first thing he does upon seeing Adam and Jake is threaten to bite them on the buttocks, I'd say Jake's not too far off.

The thing that's supposed to be a wolverine forbids Lupe from flying in the halls, a bull from having a nose ring, and Bull Sharkowzki (Phil LaMarr) from wearing those water-filled headphones that keep him hydrated. And he keeps threatening to bite students' buttocks, too. Okay, somebody on this show's writing staff clearly thought that butts were automatically hysterical. They are not.

And the shark can't just eat the tiny little animal claiming to be a wolverine BECAAAAAAAAAUSE?

Adam, Jake, and Mrs. Warthog decide that they must get rid of Principal Generic Animal of Nondescript Species (I refuse to call that thing a wolverine) - not only is he being a jerk to the students, but he's making Mrs. Warthog WORK. Horror of horrors.

It's kind of funny how Cartoon Network had two shows on at the same time starring a monkey that
also had a surly female warthog as a supporting character. I guess they thought surly female warthogs
were hysterical too?

Adam and Jake go to Principal Pixiefrog's lily pad and find him sitting in an armchair eating "Cheese Bugs" and watching TV. They beg him to come back and stop Substitute Principal Not a Wolverine, but he refuses, even after he finds out that he's making Mrs. Warthog WORK. "There's just no place in education for a principal that can't dodge a lawsuit," he moans.

Why don't they just pick him up and CARRY him back to school? He's much smaller
than they are...

So then Adam and Jake go to Mr. Mandrill for help. He deduces that the lawsuit made Principal Pixiefrog question who he is, so they have to figure out how to snap him out of his funk and return him to his regular lawsuit-avoiding self. That gives Adam an idea...

Principal Pixiefrog sees a live report on TV about how dense patches of elephant grass have sprung up all over Charles Darwin Middle School, making it impossible to go inside. Substitute Principal Doesn't Resemble Any Sort of Real Animal At All Much Less a Wolverine is powerless against it. Jake says that he's considering filing a lawsuit against the school. This snaps Principal Pixiefrog out of his funk and head to the school to solve the problem.

And how is he going to solve it? By having every herbivore at the school and has them eat the grass.

Huzzah.

Once the grass is cleared out, Principal Pixiefrog tells Substitute Principal Perhaps Some Sort of Rodent to buzz off. So he does, hoping to find a school where the students are more compliant. Then in the credits, there's a scene of him flying to England with an umbrella and getting sucked into a jet turbine. It is also not funny in the least. The end.

What's the Verdict?

Yeah, My Gym Partner's a Monkey is still a pretty weak show. I don't like the art style, it's way too angular and most of the characters are just ugly to look at. And I really don't like Jake. He's not funny, he's unlikable, and Tom Kenny gives a really obnoxious performance as his voice. Attention, Cartoon Network - Tom Kenny is talented, but his presence won't automatically make a cartoon funnier. Especially if you have him scream every other line. The other characters range from annoying (Adam and Jake's friends are basically just a hive mind, stupidly agreeing with Jake on everything no matter how ridiculous he's being) to boring, and watching Adam get put through the wringer just frustrated the heck out of me. There's nothing here we haven't already seen in better cartoons like SpongeBob SquarePants or Camp Lazlo.

I'm not going to be seeking out any more episodes of My Gym Partner's a Monkey. If you want to watch the show for yourself, good luck - only one episode has been released on DVD in America (there are two DVD volumes, but they're region-locked), so you'll need either iTunes or the Boomerang app. Does ANYBODY have the Boomerang app, actually?

Let's Watch This - An Episode of "My Gym Partner's a Monkey"

As I've said before, Cartoon Network was in a strange place during the 2000s. Classic cartoons - the reason why the channel was made in the first place - could only be found on Boomerang, and shows like The Powerpuff Girls and Johnny Bravo had come to an end, to be replaced by a mixed bag of children's programming. Remember Squirrel Boy? That show is from this era. Tickle U? Also from this era. And who can forget their attempt at launching into LIVE ACTION PROGRAMMING?

"Dude, what would happen... if Cartoon Network started airing live action programming?"
"Dude, that's a stupid idea. It's the CARTOON NETWORK. It's supposed to air CARTOONS."
"Dude, I don't care! There's money to be made here! Maybe. I don't know."

This eventually came to an end in 2010 with the premiere of Adventure Time, launching the channel into a new era of quality entertainment... that came to an end just a few years later. After 2013, Cartoon Network entered another "Dork Age". For example, they became obsessed with airing this show...

I admittedly think the hatred for this show is overblown, but yeah, it's pretty bad.

And then they unleashed THIS abomination onto the world...

This show is the reason I spent much of 2015 and 2016 hating Tom Kenny.
Yes, this show actually made me hate Tom Kenny for a while. I am not kidding.

And the shows they were airing that people actually LIKED - Adventure Time, Steven Universe, etc. - barely got any airtime. Boomerang wasn't doing so hot either, it started airing cartoons that were still airing on Cartoon Network (despite the fact that the whole point of Boomerang was for it to air shows that Cartoon Network wasn't airing anymore) and barely even aired much in the way of old cartoons. Remember when Boomerang aired Wally Gator cartoons? Yeah, me too.

But anyhow, back to the 2000s. 2006 (the same year that Squirrel Boy was unleashed onto the world) saw the premiere of a show called My Gym Partner's a Monkey.

I hate having to quote the Nostalgia Critic, but I have to say this: MONKEYS AREN'T FUNNY. Characters like, say, Mason and Phil from the Madagascar movies aren't funny simply because they're primates. And yet, since... I don't know, the 1960s... people have automatically assumed that "Primates = Instant Laughs". I'm guessing that's how this show got made (or at the very least why it's called My Gym Partner's a Monkey as opposed to My Gym Partner's a Wombat or My Gym Partner's a Coati or something like that).

The show's plot is this - Adam Lyon (voiced by Nika Futterman) once went to a perfectly normal middle school with human students, but then one day a spelling error results in people thinking that his surname is "Lion" and he gets sent to a school for animals. He befriends a gorilla named Windsor (Rick Gomez), a python named Slips (also Rick Gomez), a toucan named Lupe (Grey Griffin), a giraffe named Ingrid (also Grey Griffin), and a spidermonkey named Jake (voiced by Tom Kenny, because if it was made by Cartoon Network in the 2000s, there's a very good chance that Tom Kenny's in it. He even lent his voice to bumpers for that Tickle U thing). Episode plotlines include...

- Everyone thinking Slips is spreading a virus after he sheds his skin

- A platypus voiced by Gilbert Gottfried showing up at the school and being revealed to be an alien

- Adam getting scorn because his job requires him to wear a gorilla costume

- Jake getting sent to a school for plants (don't ask)

- And a parody of High School Musical for some reason

Yeah, it's a strange little show with three main sources of humor. In order, they are...

1) "Monkeys = Funny"

2) "Butts = Funny"

AND 3) "Characters Acting Like Idiots = Funny"

Despite all of this, the show was apparently popular enough that it got FOUR SEASONS. Maybe it's actually much better than it looks? Spoiler alert: NO. Why is the show less fun than a barrel of monkeys? Let's find out.

We'll be watching two episodes today: "Chew On This" and "The A Word".

After the theme song (which mainly consists of Adam trying to carry a tune and failing at it and Jake shouting "MONKEY! MONKEY! MONKEY!"), "Chew On This" begins with Adam waiting in line to get lunch from the cafeteria. The lunch lady, an elephant named Mrs. Tusk (Cree Summer), gives him a dirt and worms sandwich, but Adam turns her down. At the cafeteria table, Jake offers Adam some of HIS dirt and worms sandwich, but Adam turns him down too. "This cafeteria never has anything for ME to eat!" he complains.

Is it just me, or does Jake not look anything like an actual spider-monkey?
Honestly, I'm surprised that they even bothered to specify what species of monkey
he was at all...

Then we cut to Gym Class. The coach is a fish whose shtick is that she's a girl very obviously voiced by a man (Brian Doyle-Murray, to be precise). Because that's always funny, right? Though I will admit that Lupe getting hit with the punching bag did get a chuckle out of me, so there's that.

Adam is failing miserably at chin-ups (to be fair, though, chin-ups are HARD). He admits to Coach Bryan Doyle-Murray that he's feeling a bit lightheaded, which gets the coach all worked up. "CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE!" he shouts into a megaphone, and soon Adam is in the nurse's office.

In the Nurse's office, the nurse (Grey Griffin) gets worked up when Adam admits that he didn't eat lunch that day and claims that he has an eating disorder. Then Adam is sent to the office of the school's guidance counselor, Mr. Mandrill (Maurice LaMarche). "I'm just not gonna eat twigs and bugs for lunch!" he tells Mr. Mandrill, which gets Mr. Mandrill all worked up, too. "He's on a hunger strike!" Mr. Mandrill exclaims. Then Adam winds up in the principal's office, where Principal Pixiefrog (also Maurice LaMarche) responds to Adam's saying that he doesn't want to cause any trouble, he just wants to be able to eat SOMETHING at lunch by - of course - getting all worked up because he thinks ADAM IS PLANNING TO SUE THE SCHOOL. I am not making that up.

Soon, the lunch menu in the cafeteria looks like this...

Quick question - are any of the students at this school COWS? If so, I really hope
none of them look into what the hamburgers in the cafeteria are made of...

Adam is ecstatic that the cafeteria is finally serving things that he can eat, but the other students aren't as thrilled. Jake eats his empty tray. Adam is all "How can you know that it's bad if you haven't even tried it?" to which Jake shouts, "OKAY! KNOCK OFF WITH YOUR PEER PRESSURE, MR. PEER PRESSURE MAN!" and tries a bite. After that, he faints... and then yells, "WHOAAAAAAAAA! THAT'S DELICIOUS!" Why must Jake shout everything that he says? SHOUTING EVERYTHING IS NOT FUNNY EITHER.
So the other animals try their food, too, and they love it. Of course, now ADAM doesn't have any food, and when he goes to get more, Mrs. Tusk tells him that they're sold out. Wah wah wah wah wah...

Adam then runs into Principal Pixiefrog. He's all "So you're not going to sue us now, right?" To which Adam says, "Lawsuits? I just want a corn dog." This freaks Principal Pixiefrog out, and he gives Adam HIS corndogs and runs off shouting, "DON'T SUE US!"

"I'm merrily on my way to nowhere in particular!"

In Gym Class, we see that everyone is now very, very fat. The shark looks like Jabba the Hutt, Lupe looks like that boomerang bird from Angry Birds, and Jake burps because this was the 2000s, when we all became convinced that burping was automatically hilarious. Adam is the only student in the school who's not morbidly obese. Chairs are being broken, for crying out loud. Jake even falls through the floor - but he's okay. "The tremendous girth of my massive bottom broke my fall!" he tells Adam.

Then everyone in the school wants some of Adam's potato tots. Thus, we get that whole "everybody marches towards the main character chanting like zombies" cliche. Adam gets an idea - he climbs up a vine and tells the fatties that the first animal to climb up after him can have his tater tots. "EVERYBODY GRAB A VINE! WE'LL PULL THE CEILING DOWN TO GET THOSE TOTS!" Jake yells. So everyone tries that. But then Adam points out that if the ceiling falls, they'll all get hurt, and the school will get sued. This snaps Principal Pixiefrog out of his junk food-addicted craziness and he tells the other animals to stop.

Adam then says that there should be no more human food in the cafeteria. Principal Pixiefrog agrees... but only if Adam gives him his tater tots. Then Adam makes this face:

I'm not going to say that this should be a meme. It's not funny enough to be one.

Soon everyone is outside, running off all that excess fat. Except for Jake, who has enslaved Adam. Ha ha?

I was not expecting to see THIS in that Planet of the Apes reboot...

And the episode ends with a close-up shot of Principal Pixiefrog's giant rear end. Don't worry, I'll spare you the screencap.

Next up, it's "The A Word".

Adam has an autographed poster of some pop star named "Truffles Duvall" and he thinks that Jake is going to "go bananas" (get it?) when he shows it to him. He wins up running into that shark I mentioned before - his name is Bull Sharkowzki, by the way (and he's voiced by Phil LaMarr) - who gets all agitated and prepares to beat the crap out of Adam.

Then we cut to Jake. He sings one of Truffles' songs and then starts flirting with a poster of her. Adam then shows up, and we see that Bull did indeed beat the crap out of him. AND took his poster. "You really need to learn to stand up for yourself, man!" Jake says. Then Jake, because he's an idiot, promptly forgets that Adam just got beaten up and asks Adam what's new with him. "Jake, I got beat-up by Bull Sharkowzki! All I did was accidentally bump into him and he totally went ape on me!" Adam yells.

Jake becomes depressed because Adam used the phrase "went ape". Why does he care? He's a monkey, not an ape. Anyhow, Jake runs off sobbing and then Lupe and Ingrid show up. Lupe explains to Adam that Jake is "muy sensitivo" and Ingrid suggests that Adam apologize to Jake. Thus, Adam goes off to apologize. Then Lupe yells at Ingrid for hogging the conversation or whatever.
Adam finds Jake and apologizes, but Jake is STILL ungodly depressed. And he makes this face:

Seriously, UGHHHHHH...

Jake tells Adam that now he has a NEW best friend. Specifically, a football. "He actually CARES about my feelings!" Jake insists. "You're really starting to freak me out, Jake," Adam replies (well, that makes two of us). Then Jake pelts Adam with the football.

When Adam wakes up, he finds a flyer with Jake's image on it reading "WANNA BE MY NEW BEST FRIEND? ASK ME HOW." In fact, there are flyers like that all over the school grounds. He runs into Ingrid and Lupe, who are standing in line for the audition to be Jake's best friend (apparently things didn't work out with the football). Ingrid tells Adam that he really let Jake down, even though ADAM MADE AN HONEST MISTAKE AND APOLOGIZED TO JAKE, ONLY FOR JAKE TO REJECT HIS APOLOGY. It's not Adam's fault Jake is an over-dramatic lunatic.

Anyhow, Ingrid goes on to say that it's probably just not in Adam's human nature to realize that animals have feelings too. Adam then starts crying even though, again, Jake is being incredibly over-dramatic. Again, I don't even know why Jake cares - he is not an ape. He is a monkey. I mean, yeah, they're both primates, but so are humans, and we don't care if people use the phrase "went ape".

Also auditioning to be Jake's best friend is a zebra who offers him a Truffles DuVall tank top. This gives Adam an idea as to how to become Jake's best friend again. At this point, I'm not sure why Adam even WANTS to be Jake's best friend again.

Wow, Marty from Madagascar was a real dweeb back in middle school...

Adam's plan is to get back that autographed poster from the beginning of the episode. He thinks that Bull took it after beating him up, so he goes to find Bull - and gets beaten up again (offscreen). But he got the poster back! Even though it's now in two pieces. There's just one problem: Bull wrote "I HATE TRUFFLES DUVALL AND GRRRL POWER STINKS" on the poster, and Jake thinks that Adam wrote it. Then Jake makes this face...

Again, I say UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH...

And then he makes THIS face...

Double UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH...

Jake announces that he never wants to see Adam again, and then an elephant who sounds exactly like Hermes from Futurama throws Adam out of the line. Lupe tells Adam that he needs to learn to take "No" for an answer. Yeah, or maybe Jake needs to learn to let Adam EXPLAIN and not just jump to conclusions. Ingrid says that she can't think of anything that Adam could POSSIBLY do to make Jake like him again - aside from introducing Jake to Truffles Duvall herself, that is. This gives Adam an idea.

I was expecting Adam to actually find Truffles Duvall and introduce Jake to her, but that's not what he does. Instead, he dresses up like Truffles Duvall. Because I really needed to see Adam in drag. Thank you for that. Adam as Truffles Duvall claims that Adam called her and asked her to tell Jake that he's his best friend and that he's very very very very very sorry and blah-blah-blah. But Jake realizes that Adam doesn't SMELL like Truffles Duvall and attacks him, putting two and two together and realizing that it's, in fact, Adam.

Adam tells Jake to just accept his stupid apology already and that he didn't know that "going ape" was considered an insult. Then Jake tells Adam that he doesn't consider "going ape" to be an insult - it's "the ultimate monkey compliment". He was just jealous that Adam said it about Bull and not him. Why he didn't just EXPLAIN THAT TO ADAM BEFORE, I don't know.

Adam is understandably furious that he went through all that for such an incredibly stupid reason and announces that Jake is no longer HIS best friend. So then the episode ends with Jake groveling to Adam and Adam telling him to go away. OH THE IRONY!

What's the Verdict?

Jeez, was that dull. I can't think of one positive thing about it. The jokes are not funny. The characters range from really annoying to just straight-up boring. Tom Kenny and Grey Griffin sound like they're just going through the motions here. Even Maurice LaMarche isn't bringing anything to his characters. Maybe all three noticed how awful the scripts were and didn't think it was worth the effort?

The show throws every cliché from every other show on Cartoon Network at the time at the viewer in the hopes of getting a laugh out of the viewer, and it doesn't work. It's just a dull, dull show with nothing that helps it stand out from any of the other shows that Cartoon Network was crapping out.

And now, to end this review on a positive note, here's a clip from a Cartoon Network show starring a monkey that's actually, you know, GOOD: