Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Buzz Lightyear of Star Command"

Believe it or not, I'm in the minority of folks who actually liked PIXAR's 2022 release, Lightyear. But I do understand why a lot of people didn't like it. One big reason for that, it would seem, is because there was already a production that focused on the Buzz Lightyear character that the toy was based on, one that is very well-liked online. That show, as any 2000s kid should already know, was Buzz Lightyear of Star Command.

Developed by Kim Possible creators Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle, Buzz Lightyear of Star Command was based on the idea that the Buzz Lightyear toys we see in the movies were merchandise for a cartoon show starring the character. This is that cartoon show. During the theme song, we see Buzz, Woody, and the rest of the toys in Andy's room gathering together in front of the TV to watch the show. The show premiered on October 2nd, 2000... sort of. Much like the Aladdin series and The Return of Jafar, there was a direct-to-video pilot movie first, that being Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins, which was released two months earlier.

They actually got Tim Allen back for this one... sort of.
When the movie aired on TV (split into three episodes), they
had Patrick Warburton redub Buzz's lines.

The series took place in a Lloyd in Space-esque galaxy where humans and aliens lived together in harmony... except for the occasional evil villain. That's where Buzz Lightyear (voiced by Patrick Warburton) and his fellow space rangers come in. They protect the galaxy from such foes as Star Command double agent Warp Darkmatter (Diedrich Bader), robotic vampire NOS-4-A2 (Craig Ferguson), and - of course - the Evil Emperor Zurg (a delightfully hammy Wayne Knight). Fortunately, Buzz has the help of three new teammates. There's Mira Nova (Nicole Sullivan), a blue-skinned red-haired alien princess. Then there's Booster (Stephen Furst), a big loveable alien who was once Star Command's janitor until given the chance to become a space ranger himself. And of course, there's my personal favorite character on the show, XR (voiced in some episodes by Neil Flynn and in others by Larry Miller), a snarky robot created by those little green claw-worshipping aliens who's responsible for most of the show's best lines.

Buzz Lightyear of Star Command received sixty-two episodes and is nowadays considered online a great show. However, John Lasseter for some reason really didn't like the series, which might be the reason why it never got a home media release (and why it's not on Disney Plus yet, even after Lasseter left Disney... maybe Bob Iger hated the show too?). Fortunately, you can find episodes of the show on YouTube.

Admittedly, the series isn't quite as obscure nowadays as it was back in, say, 2010 - you still see a lot of people talk about it online, mainly after Lightyear was released and everyone started claiming that the show was far better. So I suppose it might fly in the face of my "only review cartoon shows that are obscure" rule, but I did do a review of Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, which isn't exactly obscure either, so what the heck? Let's watch an episode of Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. I chose the eighth episode, "The Beasts of Karn", to review because I think it has the most joke material out of all the episodes I've seen. Let's dive in.

So, the episode begins with Buzz, Mira, Booster, and XR arriving on the planet Karn, which is apparently called that because it's a biostation filled with carnivorous aliens - one of whom tears off their ship's positioning antennae. Another two aliens create a hole in the ship's left wing, causing it to leak some sort of orange-yellow liquid. They wind up having to land in the middle of a river that seems to be filled with Tasty Paste.

I'm not sure why it's sunny in space... maybe this planet is just really
close to the sun?

Booster becomes excited by the prospect of seeing all the animals on Karn, which prompts Buzz to tell him he can't bring home any pets. Apparently Booster has a habit of taking in stray animals he finds on other planets, which presumably then cause WHACKY SHENANIGANS for everyone at Star Command. I don't know if this was ever even acknowledged in a previous episode, could somebody fill me in?

"Ohhhhhh, just a little one?" Booster begs Buzz. "Nothing big like the one heading straight FOR US!" Indeed, something is approaching. Buzz and Mira point their... wrist laser things at it, and it turns out not to be an animal but rather a robot that looks like it came out of a science fiction movie from the 1970s. How disappointing. I was hoping for some sort of cool-looking alien animal.

"Out of the way, robot. We came here to see animals. If we wanted to see
a robot, we could've just stayed back at Star Command and stared at XR for
three hours."

Oh, wait. It's not actually a robot... it's a girl DISGUISED as a robot. Since robots are sentient beings in this universe, does this imply that she killed a robot and hollowed out its insides to use as armor? THAT's a terrifying mental image...

I wonder if XR is uncomfortable with seeing someone wearing his fellow
robot's "skin".

Mira identifies this woman as Dr. Ozma Furbanna (Linda Hamilton), a research scientist on Karn who tells the space rangers to follow her. However, there ARE lots and lots of ferocious animals around - most of them we only see bits and pieces of (a tentacle from one animal, the feet of another making stock T-Rex noises)... which is also really disappointing. Come on, I want to see cool alien animals! Don't just tease us like this!

Dr. Furbanna tells Mira not to fight any of the animals, as they're just following their natural instincts to feed. "Oh, okay, fair enough. And, see, I'M just following MY natural instinct not to be FOOD!" Mira replies.

"Mulan isn't a princess, and yet she made it into the Disney Princess line. Meanwhile,
I actually AM a princess, and yet I didn't even get an invitation! Would somebody care
to explain THAT?!"

They all make it back to Dr. Furbanna's home base, where XR asks her why she would want to save such horrible creatures. "Preservation doesn't mean just saving the cute ones," Dr. Furbanna says. "And those ARE the cute ones." Then she takes off her armor, revealing her figure to the space rangers, which causes Buzz and XR to go gaga over her. Booster, the only one here who's not a horndog, just has this great expression on his face that clearly implies he's judging them. Good on you, Booster.

I hope Jessie never saw this episode.

Since the space rangers' ship is, y'know, sinking to the bottom of a swamp, they'll have to spend the night on Karn. Dr. Furbanna explains that the reason she hasn't been contacting Star Command is because her communication system's down and she's been too busy stopping poachers to fix it. Yeah, this is one of THOSE episodes with an "environmental message". But as we've established before on this blog, poachers are scum, so I'm all for drawing more attention to how scummy they are. And apparently poachers in outer space are also incredibly stupid, because they'll even attempt to take down gigantic ferocious aliens that could likely gobble them up in one bite just to make mucho moolah.

By the way, Booster has smuggled some sort of alien critter in his suit. He begs for Buzz to let him keep it, promising that he'll brush it and feed it and walk it every day... until Dr. Furbanna informs him that the critter eats brains.

"I will name him 'George' and I will hug him and squeeze him and pat him
and pet him and rub him and caress him and..."

Everybody goes to sleep, even though I don't think it was dark out yet... and the next morning, Mira asks Dr. Furbanna how they're going to fix their ship without becoming breakfast for carnivorous aliens. She tells her that after their morning feeding, there's a two-hour safety window while they're digesting. Buzz makes this face:

Hellooooooooooooo, new potential meme.

They all pile in a land rover and head to the ship, and it's revealed that they're just going to have Booster and XR fix the ship on their own. What?! Buzz, Mira, and Dr. Furbanna aren't going to help them at all? That's pretty lousy of them. What could they possibly need to be doing that'll keep them too busy to help?

As they watch their friends drive off, Booster and XR realize what Buzz meant
when he volunteered them for the animals' "feeding".

XR and Booster get to work fixing the ship... or at least XR does. Booster gets distracted by some sort of space eel, and as he's following it around he catches the attention of a space poacher. Say hello to the episode's main villain, Rentwhistle Swack (what a name). He is voiced by none other than French Stewart. Disney was using French Stewart a lot around this time (he was also in Inspector Gadget 2 and voiced a character in the It's Tough to Be a Bug show at Disney's Animal Kingdom).

It's fitting that somebody who starred in Third Rock From the Sun is lending
his voice to a cartoon that takes place in outer space.

Rentwhistle Swack abducts Booster, and Booster's attempt to fight the abduction ray that Rentwhistle Swack's flying airboat uses just winds up stripping him of his space ranger uniform. "Let's take him back to the mothership and price him to sell!" Rentwhistle Swack declares. He drives the airboat back to his giant vaccuum cleaner...

He got a licensing deal from Dust Buster, apparently.

…and puts Booster in a cage with laser beams for bars. We see that Rentwhistle Swack has captured other alien animals, and Booster brings up that he's arrested Rentwhistle Swack before (I assume this character appeared in a previous episode, but I'm not sure which one). When Rentwhistle Swack hears that Buzz Lightyear is around, he decides to get the heck out of Karn before he's discovered.

This is where the episode gets confusing. Rentwhistle Swack thinks that Booster is an animal and plans on selling him on the black market. IS Booster considered an animal? It's always kind of hard to deduce what's considered a "person" and what's considered an "animal" in shows where many of the characters are aliens, but Booster's species wears clothes and can talk, unlike the animals we've seen on Karn. But he can still be abducted by a poacher and sold on the black market? Is Rentwhistle Swack just an idiot? Does he think that every alien species is an animal? It's not like Booster looks particularly animal-like. Or is Booster's species actually considered an animal, just an anthropomorphic one? Would it be like, say, if hippopotamuses could walk on two legs and speak English? Would WE let a hippopotamus join OUR police force? Would we still consider the hippopotamus an animal?

And if Rentwhistle Swack thinks that Booster is an animal, why isn't he all
that weirded-out by Booster's ability to talk?

We cut back to Buzz, Mira and Dr. Furbanna, who discover that Dr. Furbanna's satellite (which she uses to communicate with Star Command) has some sort of praying mantis-esque alien using it as a nest. Buzz prepares to zap it, but Dr. Furbanna stops him, revealing that she's been studying the praying mantis alien for a while. She's even given it a name: Jessica. Fortunately, Buzz has a backup plan - they'll boost the transmission frequency. When they do that, they pick up the electronic tags Dr. Furbanna placed on the animals to study their migratory habits. It looks like they're migrating into space... or rather, blasting off into space, as Buzz claims upon seeing Rentwhistle Swack's ship in the window. Then Buzz gets a call from XR telling him that Booster is missing.

They all meet up back in the swamp, and Buzz and Dr. Furbanna disagree on what they should do - find Booster or stop the poacher who's swiping up the animals. Oh, if only they knew...

"Sorry, I don't go for guys who are bald."
"I'm not bald! The hood on my spacesuit just covers up my hair!"
"Uh huh, SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE it does..."

Back on Rentwhistle Swack's ship, Booster notices that one of the other caged animals has an electronic animal tag behind its ear. Maybe he can use that to call for help... if he can get his hands on it without the bat/pterodactyl/extraterrestrial thing biting them off, that is.

Some animals just don't make good petting zoo additions.

Fortunately, Rentwhistle Swack's little blue Peter Lorre-esque sidekick comes by and tosses Booster a slab of beef. He uses it to discombobulate the bat/pterodactyl thing, allowing him to swipe the electronic animal tag. He uses it to send his teammates a "Star Command Sub-Space S.O.S.", filling them in as to where he is.

And not a moment too soon - Rentwhistle Swack arrives at the black market, where he meets up with these guys...

So Booster is considered an animal but these three aren't? The anteater-esque one
alone looks far more like an animal than Booster does...

…and shows them all of the animals he nabbed, every one of them "exotic, dangerous, and ready for stuffing". For example, this one would make a lovely doorstop... although it'd probably maul you before you get a chance to stuff it.

I believe this beast's scientific name is Stockius Dinosaurnoisesis.

The other aliens all want to buy Booster, and eventually they decide to divide him up. Buzz, Mira, XR, and Dr. Furbanna better hurry...

"Y'know, I heard that PIXAR is making a Toy Story 5..."
"What? Wasn't four enough?"

Of course, they're having problems of their own... you see, some sort of carnivorous slime beast stowed away onto the ship earlier, and it attempts to eat XR... is it even possible to eat a robot? It's, y'know, a robot. It'd be like trying to eat an iPad or something.

"No, don't eat the snarky comic relief character! They taste funny!"

Buzz and Mira zap it with their wrist lasers, but it doesn't do any good. XR's head winds up flying off. I would make a "losing your head" joke, but it seems a bit too obvious.

Meanwhile, Rentwhistle Swack flies off in his spaceship, leaving Booster and his little blue sidekick with the alien hunters. Booster runs for his life, and the hunt is on.

And now, back to Buzz and the others! XR manages to activate his jetpack, sending the slime beast flying into the hallway of their ship. But communications are out, so they're not picking up the signal of the tags. They could use the backup system... oh, wait, XR's leg smashed into it. Wah wah wah wah WAAAAAAAAAAAAH...

Don't worry, Booster. There are far more humiliating ways to spend your Friday night...

Fortunately for Booster, Buzz spots Rentwhistle Swack's ship flying by and deduces that he's the poacher they're looking for.

Even in outer space, there are speed limits.

Buzz, Mira, XR, and Dr. Furbanna arrest Rentwhistle Swack and save Booster just before the alien hunters can, y'know, hunt him. All of the animals are freed back on Karn. We are treated to Rentwhistle Swack's butt in our faces. And yes, I am indeed going to show you the screencap. Sorry...

Anyone else notice that Buzz is extremely top-heavy?

Buzz sentences Rentwhistle Swack and the alien hunters to community service - they'll stay on Karn and help Dr. Furbanna take care of the animals. Either that or they'll be LUNCH for the animals, it's not one hundred percent clear. Dr. Furbanna then seductively tells Buzz that he's free to come by her place any time he likes, if you know what I mean, wink-wink-nudge-nudge.

I think I'll bring this back to sum up Buzz throughout the episode:

"To infin-giggity and beyond!"

What's the Verdict?

So that's Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, and yeah, it's a fun show. Good animation, likeable characters, and some genuinely funny jokes, most of them coming from XR. I'm not sure if I'd say this was the BEST episode of the show, but I enjoyed the focus on Booster since he, along with XR, is one of my favorite characters on the show. I did wind up scratching my head a lot during it, though... seriously, is Booster really considered an animal? If he isn't, shouldn't the alien hunters have known that? Also, Horny Buzz? Really?

As I've said before, if you want to watch Buzz Lightyear of Star Command for yourself, you can find episodes on YouTube. I recommend checking it out.

By the way - no, it's not intentional that I posted two reviews of cartoons that take place in outer space in a row.