Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Chop Socky Chooks"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

This has been on my "to review" list for a while. It's another show that I never watched, but did see ads for. I'm not sure how I decided what shows to watch and what shows to avoid... well, some of them I obviously just thought looked stupid. This is probably one of them.

Chop Socky Chooks was created by Sergio Delfino, Aardman Animations and Decode Entertainment (who also gave us The Save-Ums!). The show is about three martial artists named Chick P. (voiced by Shelly Longworth), K.O. Joe (voiced by Paterson Joseph), and Chuckie Chan (Rob Rackstraw, with Chris Hardwick apparently taking over at some point), who live and work in a city-sized shopping mall called Wasabi World, which is run by an evil piranha named Dr. Wasabi (Paul Kaye). In each episode the good guys use their kung fu skills to foil Dr. Wasabi's evil schemes. The show was inspired by shlocky low-budget Hong Kong martial arts movies made between the 1960s and the 1980s, which are usually described as being "chop socky". And for those of you who don't know what a "chook" is, it's apparently an Australian slang word for chicken. The three main characters are chickens.

Now, let me ask you a question: do these three look like chickens at all? The only thing that kind of implies "chicken" is Chuckie Chan's comb-esque hairdo. That's it. I always just assumed they were just weird cartoon humanoids, because the characters look nothing like any sort of animal species, let alone chickens. Even the Breadwinners guys look more like birds than our protagonists.

I don't know where they even got the idea for kung fu-fighting chickens, because that sounds like a really stupid premise for a cartoon show. It's a one joke premise, and you'd need really good writing to actually make it good. Then again, a lot of people probably had no idea that the characters were chickens so it probably doesn't matter how stupid the premise was.

Chop Socky Chooks premiered on Teletoon in Canada and Cartoon Network in the U.S. and the U.K. Apparently, the show received high ratings, but Cartoon Network gave it erratic airdates and limited reruns after Star Wars: The Clone Wars premiered and they shifted all of their focus onto it. Twenty-six episodes were produced before the show was canned.

This series seems to mainly have a negative reception online. Common Sense Media claimed it was too violent for kids. Most of the comments for this Cartoon Brew article about the show from 2008 don't think highly of the show - somebody called it "just another predictable and blandly-written animated television series that's about as interesting as watching paint dry." Are they correct? Let's find out, shall we? We're going to watch the nineteenth episode of the show, "Planet of the Bubba". This is Chop Socky Chooks.

The episode starts off with Dr. Wasabi watching the television channel "More On TV" ("more on" sounds like "moron", get it?). Problem is, his television is on the fritz because he's having a gorilla work on his satellite dish. Why is he having a gorilla work on his satellite dish? I'm glad you asked!

Say hello to Bubba (Rupert Degas), your typical cartoon villain's henchmen who's really big but dumb as a rock. He's in this show because, as everyone knows, primates are automatically funny. Oh, wait. No, they're not.

Usually, this character wears a suit. Y'know, a MONKEY suit. The pun is ruined
when you realize that he's actually an ape, but there are far dumber things about this show
to complain about...

Unfortunately for Bubba, there's a meteor heading right towards him. Presumably, this meteor was heading for Earth, as meteors in cartoons always do, but Bubba was blocking his path. So Bubba saved the Earth. Way to go, Bubba! Unfortunately, his way of saving the earth involves the meteor smashing into HIM and the satellite, causing it and Dr. Wasabi's TV to explode - and cable to go out all over Wasabi World.

This means that the three kung fu-fighting chickens can't watch a show they really like called See You Later, Alligator. Chick P wants to use this as an excuse to watch an educational special about Albert Einstein... even though, if the satellite has been destroyed, technically they shouldn't be able to watch TV at all. That's how TV works, right? I could be wrong...

This would be a good time to talk about our three main characters. Chuckie Chan is a gigantic Asian stereotype with squinty eyes, a Fu Manchu mustache, and a bad Chinese accent provided by a white guy. Chick P is your typical tough action girl who, judging from this scene, is much smarter than the other two, who looks like a geisha girl - reminder, geisha girls are Japanese, not Chinese, I guess their mindset was "well, it's still part of Asia, right?". And KO Joe is a sassy black-coded guy who wears a disco suit, has an afro, and fights with an afro pick. Are you offended yet?

Her head looks like a balloon.

Suddenly, the city is shaken by the impact of the meteor smashing into the earth's surface... I guess Bubba blocking its path wasn't enough to keep it from reaching Earth after all. Time for the Chop Socky Chooks to investigate!

Does anyone else smell roast chicken?

Already at the site of the meteor's landing are Dr. Wasabi's ninja chimps, because if there's one thing that's funnier than CHICKENS doing kung fu, it's PRIMATES doing kung fu (and yes, I'm aware that monkey style kung fu exists, but I sincerely doubt that was the mindset behind putting the ninja chimps in the show). They watch as Bubba emerges from the crater with... eeeeeeeeeew, his brain has swelled to an enormous size and is sticking out of his head. Couldn't he borrow a helmet from Mojo Jojo or something?

Maybe put a shirt on, too? His nipples are grossing me out...

"Truly, you are the ape of legend!" one of the ninja chimps says in a stereotypical Asian accent just as offensive as Chuckie Chan's. Is Bubba indeed "the one"? "That depends. Can there be one true one? One of such wonderful oneness that one must act for the good of one and all?" Bubba asks. "One wonders... but I'll give it a go." The reason why he's so smart now is because there's a chip from the satellite lodged into his brain. I doubt putting a satellite chip in your brain would really make you smarter, but it's a cartoon, just go with it.

Just a dumb little observation: if he's a gorilla, why does he have white fur? Perhaps
he's related to Snowflake, the only known albino gorilla in the world, who lived at the Barcelona
Zoo in Spain.

The Chop Socky Chooks are spying on Bubba from nearby. After Chick P describes him as having an "unidentified flabby object" on his head, they confront him for making a "big smoky hole in [their] mall", and then Chuckie Chan quotes an old Asian proverb as all Asian stereotypes in cartoons are known to do. And KO Joe doesn't understand the proverb I guess because he's not Asian. Was that supposed to be an "Asian person talks funny" joke? If so, I'm offended.

But enough about proverbs, we're due for an action sequence! Will the ninja chimps to make KFC out of the Chop Socky Chooks, or will our three stereotypes kick the behinds of the Skunk Fu! rejects?

They look more like sock monkeys than chimpanzees, don't they? I'll admit, the idea of
sock monkeys doing kung fu is a lot more amusing than regular primates doing kung fu...

The chimps manage to defeat the KO Joe, Chick Pea, and Chuckie Chan using baby oil, a mousetrap, and an unpopped bag of popcorn and throw them in jail, with shock collars around their necks for good measure. Dr. Wasabi - who, by the way, looks more like a giant pickle than a piranha - is very impressed.

Here's a joke for you: when you're in the Amazon Rainforest and a jaguar is chasing you,
it's important to remember that jumping into a piranha-infested river won't help at all.
Why? Because jaguars are excellent swimmers.

Bubba, now a rare combination of brains and brawn, demonstrates that he's not going to take orders from Dr. Wasabi anymore by basically making him into his pet. We get a pee joke... classy, fellas... and then Bubba throws him into the jail cell with the Chop Socky Chooks. Next, Bubba gathers the ninja chimps together to tell them that they're gonna rise up against the non-simian citizens of their planet (and yes, there is indeed a Planet of the Apes reference). "We'll start out small, then spread worldwide," he claims. "Monkey SEE, monkey DOMINATE!"

Oddly enough, this is pretty much the exact same plot as that 1996 Jetsons movie script I looked
at a week ago... except instead of machines rising up against humanity, it's apes.

Quick question: is EVERYBODY in this world an anthropomorphic animal? It's really hard to tell what species ANYONE aside from Bubba and the ninja chimps are... also, I was not expecting Dr. Zoidberg to make a cameo.

Need a Futurama character to make an appearance in a crappy 2000s cartoon?
Why not Zoidberg?

The ninja chimps run around the mall trapping people in nets. Meanwhile, the Chop Socky Chooks and Dr. Wasabi are trying to escape from their cell, but the sentient AI software that's holding them captive is making that very difficult... until Chuckie Chan's confusing proverbs make it go all "DOES NOT COMPUTE! ASIAN STEREOTYPE SAYS THINGS THAT MAKE NO SENSE!".

Did they have to give the brown-skinned character light-colored lips? He's offensive
enough already...

Chuckie Chan manages to take out the AI software with confusing proverbs, but as they're escaping the ninja chimps show up and trap them with nets. These guys suck at being kung fu masters, I've noticed.

Wah wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

So what has Bubba done with all the non-simians at the Wasabi World mall? He's put them in a zoo! And he's making the Chop Socky Chooks his star attractions... oh, wait, never mind. They escaped off-camera. Though I'm not sure how he expects to make a profit seeing as he and the ninja chimps seem to be the only non-primates around.

Blah blah blah, more fighting and then they manage to take Bubba down. With the big ape unconscious, they head to Dr. Wasabi's headquarters to free all the people. And then there's a fart joke because this show apparently hates me. But who's waiting for them in the headquarters when they arrive? Bubba, who knocks them out with tranquilizer darts! The Bubba they took down was a robotic duplicate out of nowhere!

Bubba plans on stuffing the Chop Socky Chooks and mounting their heads over his fireplace. Wouldn't it make more sense to cook and eat them, what with them being chickens and all? Then again, gorillas are herbivores...

Bubba's brain is still grossing me out.

Bubba also created a satellite that allows him to shoot lasers at whoever annoys him. Fortunately, Chick P gets an idea after Bubba mentions something that reminds her of the Albert Einstein show she watched earlier - that thing lodged in Bubba's brain must be a "TV receiver chip", ergo it must be tuned directly to the TV channel that shows educational stuff and making him smart. All they have to do is pick up the remote control and change the channel, which I'm sure everyone watching this episode when it first aired on TV did by now as well. Only problem is, Bubba and the ninja chimps won't let them do that without a fight.

At one point, this happens.

Long story short, Chick P gets her hands... er, wings... on the remote and changes the channel to "More on TV", which shrinks Bubba's brain back to its original size with its incredibly stupid programming, releasing the TV receiver chip - which Chick P promptly smashes. The citizens of Wasabi World are freed. Dr. Wasabi is repeatedly zapped with the laser. The end.

What's the Verdict?

It's bad. It's not worth your time. The characters are all one-dimensional, with a good chunk of them also being racist stereotypes. The jokes aren't funny. The animation is mediocre at best. None of the quirky British humor and charm that we find in Aardman's other work is present at all - in fact, nothing about this feels like an Aardman production. Maybe this "chickens doing kung fu" premise would've worked fine for a Chicken Run sequel or maybe a Foghorn Leghorn short, but... actually, what was the point of even making them chickens if the fact that they're chickens has no bearing on anything in the show?

My advice for you would be NOT to watch the show, even if you can find most if not all of the episodes on YouTube. It's not the worst cartoon I've ever seen, but it's still pretty cock-a-doodle-dumb.

By the way: yes, I know this is my fourth review in a row about a cartoon starring farm animals. Hey, at least this one takes place in a mall as opposed to a city. Oh, wait, the episode of Pig City that I reviewed mainly took place in a mall, too... I promise my next review will be about something else.