Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Rude Dog and the Dweebs"

In the 1980s, artist Brad McMahon was under contract with Sun Sportswear. They wanted him to create a mascot for their surfboard and surfing-related clothing. The result - a character who I really want to call a Spuds MacKenzie knockoff with ATTITUDE but this character actually precedes Spuds MacKenzie by a year.

This character, Rude Dog, was a hit. You can still buy Rude Dog merchandise at rudedog.com. But during the height of the character's popularity in 1989, somebody said, "Hey, what if we made a cartoon show about Rude Dog?". The result was Rude Dog and the Dweebs.

Rude Dog and the Dweebs premiered on September 16th, 1989. It was produced by Marvel Productions, with animation provided by AKOM. The show placed Rude Dog, voiced by Rob Paulsen, in the middle of Beverly Hills, driving around in a pink Cadillac and living in a garage with seven new dogs known as the Dweebs. The Dweebs consisted of a dachshund named Caboose (voiced by Frank Welker), a bulldog named Winston (Peter Cullen), a fox terrier who sounds like Jack Nicholson for some reason named Reggie (Mendi Segal), a great dane named Barney (Dave Coulier), a beagle named Satch (Jim Cummings), a girl dog named Ditzy Kibble (Ellen Gerstell), and a chihuahua named Tweek (Hank Saroyan). The dogs' foe was a dogcatcher named Herman (also Peter Cullen) and his rottweiler assistant Rot (also Frank Welker).

The show received one season consisting of thirteen episodes, each one featuring two segments. Why was the show axed? Apparently, there was concern that kids would confuse Rude Dog for the aforementioned Spuds MacKenzie, who was the mascot for Budweiser - an alcoholic beverage, which they feared those kids would promptly start drinking. It got a few VHS releases years ago, but it seems that only in the U.K. was it released on DVD. Nowadays, you can find episodes on YouTube.

Is the show any good? Let's find out. We'll watch the first episode of the show, which consists of the segments "Hello, Mr. Kitty?" and "The Fish Who Went Moo". This is Rude Dog and the Dweebs.

The episode begins with Rude Dog, who sounds exactly like Steelbeak from Darkwing Duck, introducing us to the neighborhood that he and the Dweebs call home. "I woulda started dis cartoon myself, but on dis particular mornin', I was still tryin' to, uh, catch a few Z's," he says. "Unfortunately, da Dweebs were not." They wind up waking him up with all the noise they're supposedly making... honestly, though, I don't think they're being THAT loud.

Scud had it all. Then one day, he was taken in by a boy named Sid Phillips, and his life
was all downhill from there.

Here is where the Dweebs demonstrate their various character traits. Winston is uptight and British, Ditzy is the girl, Barney... likes to play with a toy cow, and Caboose is apparently off his rockers and has train-related hallucinations. Tweek apparently ran out to fetch (get it? Fetch? 'Cause they're dogs?) that day's newspaper for Rude Dog, but apparently he is either the weakest dog in the world or the paper is just incredibly heavy, because he's having trouble lifting it. Not helping much is the presence of Seymour the Cat, a hideous blue cat with the voice of Gogo Dodo from Tiny Toon Adventures.

Ugly little fella, isn't he?

When Tweek returns with the paper, Rude Dog dubs it pitiful that the Dweebs - who are DOGS - are afraid of a CAT. Personally, I have a hard time believing that most of the Dweebs would be afraid of Seymour. I can understand Tweek since he's so much smaller than him, but surely the other Dweebs could take him on. It's not like he's particularly scary-looking.

Well, anyway, Rude Dog and the Dweebs discuss what they could do to keep Seymour off their backs. Satch suggests that they get a dog, giving us our first funny joke in the episode thus far. Alas, the Dweebs don't realize that they're dogs. Ditzy says that while Rude Dog is a dog, THEY'RE Dweebs, as though "Dweeb" is their species (scientific name Canis lupis idiotis). "Dweebs, we are going to the zoo for a little animal education!" Rude Dog decides.

"Mark my words, fellas. Someday, dogs will take over the world! Spaying and neutering
your pets will be outlawed! Every house will be required to have at least one fire hydrant
inside! The roads will be paved with Kibbles 'n' Bits!"

The neon-colored pooches hop into their Pepto-Bismolmobile, and now I'm wondering where Rude Dog even got it. This isn't like Hoze Hounds where anthropomorphic dogs and cats run the world - we see at least one human being in this episode so we know that they do indeed exist, and the dogs and cats can talk but otherwise aren't anthropomorphic. And yet Rude Dog somehow bought a car, let alone got a driver's license? Is it legal for dogs to drive in this world? Are dogs considered legal citizens? If so, why is there a dogcatcher?

Maybe he didn't buy this car. Maybe he just stole it from Barbie.

Speaking of the dogcatcher, Herman and Rot spot Rude Dog and the Dweebs cruising by and decide to go after them. The dogs, of course, have no idea that they're around. Barney apparently thinks that he's a flamingo.

Well, he does seem to be kind of a birdbrain..



Thank you, I'll be here all week.

"Now listen up. We are here ta learn about cats and dogs!" Rude Dog says. "NOT birds! C'mon, Dweebs!" He takes them to see a wolf, explaining that he is the cousin of all dogs, even Dweebs. "You see, you Dweebs gotta stand up to cats like Seymour on your own," he claims, "Just like our relative here, da wolf!"

See the family resemblance?

This, of course, backfires. Satch sees that the lion habitat just so happens to be nearby... so, he doesn't know that he's a dog, or that wolves are dogs, but he does know that lions are cats? Nor does he know not to just walk into a lion's habitat lest you get mauled? Fortunately, the lion doesn't maul Satch - it just growls at him, resulting in Satch figuring out that lions are not to be messed with.

Meanwhile, Herman and Rot have disguised themselves as quite possibly the ugliest rhinoceros ever so they can ambush Rude Dog and his posse. They wind up attracting the attention of an actual rhinoceros, who does not take kindly to their making a mockery of his species. Say, how come in this world, dogs and cats can talk but lions, wolves and rhinos apparently can't? That's a bit of a headscratcher...

"As an actual rhinoceros, I find your impersonation of us incredibly offensive! We do NOT
have polka-dotted buttocks!"

After the rhino physically harms them, Herman and Rot decide to just hide in the bushes and let the dogs just walk right up to them. Rude Dog tells the others that any cat can be dealt with just by acting rude to it. Uh huh. Rude Dog, there's a problem with that advice - I think if you walked up to, say, a jaguar and told it to its face that it was ugly and that its mother is so fat she has her own zip code, it would devour you, or at least tear your intestines out. But Rude Dog insists that he rudeness is the best way of dealing with a cat. To prove it, he walks right into the POLEcat exhibit... and as we all know, "polecat" is another word for SKUNK.

After his encounter with the skunk, Rude Dog for some reason decides to walk right up to the bush where Herman and Rot are waiting. They throw him in their truck and drive off... only to let him out a few seconds later because he smells like, y'know, a skunk.

"Sorry, fellas. I just had lunch with the Taco Bell chihuahua, and you know what
that food does to your stomach..."

Rude Dog claims that this is proof of anyone leaving you alone no matter how rude you are. Except that it wasn't rudeness that saved him from Herman and Rot, it was his smell. So, what exactly have we learned from this? Let skunks spray you and everyone will leave you alone?

Okay, next segment...

Rude Dog is woken up from his nap by the Dweebs, who want to tell him something but for some reason have difficulty doing so. Eventually, Barney tells him that they'd like to have a pet. Rude Dog, of course, isn't too keen on the idea - their home is a mess, how can they take care of a pet if they can't even take care of THEMSELVES? Winston suggests that they prove to Rude Dog that they are responsible by cleaning up the garage, but Rude Dog still isn't convinced.

I'm just now noticing that Reggie looks like Porkchop from Doug.

Eventually, the Dweebs manage to wear Rude Dog down, and he agrees to let them have ONE pet. Barney suggests a bullfrog. Satch wants an aardvark. Winston thinks they should get a sea lion. Caboose would like a duck. Tweek begs for a zebra. Ditzy's idea is a koala bear. "Hey, it's gotta be an alligator," Reggie insists - that way, they can have the alligator eat Herman.

Honestly, all seven ideas seem like great choices... who WOULDN'T want a pet koala bear or a zebra? Rude Dog decides that they'll get a fish, which the Dweebs all think is a good idea. He sends Barney out to get the fish, only for Barney to come back with... well, just look for yourself:

Yes, apparently Barney doesn't know the difference between fish and cows. "I think R.D.'s gonna have a cow when he sees THIS fish!" Ditzy laments. But maybe if they teach her to swim, Rude Dog will think she is, in fact, a fish. By now, it should be obvious that the Dweebs are all a few sodas short of a six-pack. WHACKY SHENANIGANS ensue as they try to get the cow in the bathtub, and eventually Rude Dog enters the bathroom and sees the cow. Uh oh...

"Uh, you guys know dere's a cow in da bathtub, don't ya?"

"No, but if you hum a few bars, we can fake it..."

Of course Rude Dog doesn't believe for a second that the cow is a fish and asks Barney why he brought home a cow instead of a fish. Barney explains that he bought the fish, but then on the way home, he saw a farmer who was trying to get rid of the cow because it can't moo. So, what, did he trade the farmer the fish for the cow? What use does a farmer have for a fish? Is this farmer an aquaculturist?

Rude Dog tells them to teach the cow how to moo, then they'll send her back to the farm where she belongs. When their attempt at teaching the cow to moo fails, they all pile into the Cadillac and take her to the farm to talk to the farmer... who is human, and who doesn't question the presence of a talking dog driving a car, raising further questions as to how this world works. Maybe it's just like in the Yogi Bear cartoons, where Yogi and Boo-Boo can talk and walk around on two legs but are still treated like animals.

So, why can't the cow moo? The roof of the barn was leaking, so she slept in the henhouse, and until the new water trough was delivered she drank water from the duck pond. And she ate with the pigs. Apparently, that led her to believe she was some sort of chicken/duck/pig hybrid creature as opposed to a cow? What would such a being even LOOK LIKE?

So the dogs fix the leak in the roof, give the cow a nice hat, and show her a mirror to make her realize that she is a cow, not a chicken/duck/pig hybrid. It works - but now Barney thinks that he's a chicken!

Is this a Running Gag? Barney assuming that he's a bird?

Rude Dog assures the audience that he'll snap out of it by tomorrow - and on the bright side, they can have all the eggs they can eat! Personally, though, I would not eat an egg laid by a dog.

What's the Verdict?

Between the name of the show ("Rude Dog" just screams "trying too hard to be cool") and the fact that it's starring a character created to sell clothes, I went in expecting something really bad. And, to be honest, I'm pretty disappointed. It's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be, it's just tremendously mediocre. It's so hard to make a funny review of a cartoon that's just mediocre, as I've demonstrated several times on this blog already.

The main problem with this show is that the characters are not interesting. Rude Dog is supposed to be "cool", but he really just comes across as a massive tool who thinks being snide and cracking jokes every five seconds makes him cooler than he actually is. Being voiced by Rob Paulsen is all he has going for him. The Dweebs are just there to be hive-minded dimwits. Very few of the jokes are funny. The animation is fine, the voice actors are all doing their best, but as a whole there's not much of substance here. It's not gnarly or tubular or whatever the kids were saying back in 1989, it's just a blah show with very little going for it. Even if it weren't for the Spuds MacKenzie confusion thing, I doubt this show would've caught on.

Oh, and here's another fun fact for you - apparently, Rude Dog was the inspiration for Poochie. Yes, the character from The Simpsons. Remember that episode? And yet I still think a show starring Poochie would be more appealing than Rude Dog and the Dweebs.