Let's Watch This - An Episode of "Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated"

Soooooooooo... let's talk about Scooby-Doo.

I'll be honest, while I was an average watcher of Scooby-Doo stuff when I was younger, I didn't really get into the show until 2015. That's when I began watching reruns of Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? and What's New, Scooby-Doo? on Boomerang.

Anyhow, over the years there's been a whole lotta versions of Scooby-Doo. He's been given the Spin-Off Babies treatment, he's visited Zombie Island, he's faced alien invaders, he competed in the 1977 Laff-a-Lympics, he's starred in two horrible live action films starring Matthew Lillard and an incredibly bored-sounding Linda Cardellini... he's done it all!

I'm not sure which incarnation of Scooby-Doo is the most popular of the bunch. But if I had to guess, I'd say that one of the most popular is Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated.

What, exactly, IS Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated? Well, it's a Scooby-Doo show that sucks all the fun out of watching Scooby and his friends solve mysteries and tries to take itself seriously. It's scary, it's got arcs, it's dark, it's not as comedic, and I think that's the main reason why so many people like it. They like that a Scooby-Doo show is actually being "deep" or some crap like that.

However, I have seen people that dislike the show. Joe Ruby and Ken Spears, who created the original show, dislike it because it's too dark and doesn't get the spirit of the franchise. Apparently, Scooby voice actor Scott Innes doesn't care much for it either. Where do I fall on the spectrum? Well, in the past I've watched a few episodes and honestly couldn't get into it. But hey, at least it gave us this:

Today, I'm going to give the show another try. This episode is called "Howl of the Fright Hound". Get out the Scooby Snax, because this Mystery Machine is taking us to visit a very, very different version of Scooby-Doo and his friends. Let's dive in, shall we?

The episode starts off with these three idiot guards at some sort of spooky prison place talking about coffee, and then one of the prisoners escapes. Specifically, a large dog (with its growls provided by Fred Tatasciore). The guards try to fight him, but they don't have any luck. Like, seriously, an entire SWAT Team comes in and it still manages to fight them off. What kind of dog is this?!

"Well, now, Brer Rabbit, I reckon I'll have ta ROAST YA!"

After that and the theme song, we cut to Fred, Daphne, Shaggy, Velma and Scooby at school. Shaggy (Matthew Lillard) is bored, Velma (Mindy Cohn) is annoyed because Scooby (Frank Welker) is hogging all of Shaggy's time. You see, a recurring plot in the show is that Shaggy and Velma are dating and as a result, Scooby and Velma are constantly fighting over him. Because apparently they can't share him.

While I'm ticking people off, I suppose I should mention that I think Matthew Lillard's Shaggy is awful. He doesn't sound anything like Casey Kasem. Just because he played Shaggy in the crappy live action movies doesn't mean that he was the right choice to do the character's voice. Scott Innes' Shaggy is much better.

And I know this is a personal thing, but I also hate Velma's design in this show.
What's with the hair boww?

"It's time you made a choice," Velma tells Shaggy. "Dog... or ME." Before Shaggy can reply, however, a robot spider shows up out of nowhere and starts messing up other students' cars (oh, the horror). "What IS that thing?!" Daphne (Grey Griffin) asks. That's a pretty good question, Daphne. Fred (Frank Welker, of course) announces that they've got a mystery on their hands, and to solve this mystery they'll need a TRAP! But then the robot spider suddenly stops, and... okay, seriously, take a look at this student that shows up. Just LOOK at him.

Ladies and gentlemen, THE UGLIEST NERD IN ALL OF ANIMATION.

So the fat nerd (voiced by Daryl Sabara) gets a wedgie from some jocks and tries to hit on Velma. You know, if you wanted Velma to have an Abhorrent Admirer, instead of inventing this kid you could have brought back the dweeb who had a thing for her in What's New, Scooby-Doo. Just saying.

Velma introduces her friends to the fat kid, whose name is Jason. They were in the Junior Robotics Club Together. Shaggy tells Jason to go suck an egg because HE'S her boyfriend and there's nothing he can do about it and right now they're gonna go solve a mystery or whatever. Velma is impressed by Shaggy's standing up to Jason, but Shaggy is more concerned with how hungry he is.

Shaggy and Velma dating is so weird. It's like if Jon Arbuckle hooked up with
Meg Griffin.

That night, Velma's mother (Frances Conroy) is driving a tour bus through their town. But then the evil dog from before appears and does its thing. Eventually the gang shows up and Daphne asks what happened to the tour bus. Fred replies, "Something... MYSTERIOUS!" Sheriff Patrick Warburton (I know the character has a name, but you know what, I'm calling him "Sheriff Patrick Warburton") announces that there was no mystery here, only a CRIME. Then he arrests Scooby because he and the tourists think that Scooby is the dog who attacked them, despite the fact that the evil dog that attacked them (which some guy got on video camera) is hidden in the shadows so it's hard to make out just how similar it looks to Scooby, and Shaggy and Daphne trying to vouch for his innocence. Scooby is driven off in the police car, and apparently he isn't even given a trial or anything. "I still can't believe it..." Fred says the next day. "Scooby-Doo, locked up like an animal!"

Now, you'd expect Velma to, I don't know, GIVE A CRAP that her boyfriend's dog is in prison. In fact, in any other Scooby-Doo production Velma likely would've been the most determined next to Shaggy to prove Scooby's innocence. But nope, instead Velma doesn't care at all and is trying to convince Shaggy to "move on to someone else" (as in, her). Daphne agrees with me and doesn't approve of this, but Velma just keeps on trying to make Shaggy forget about Scooby and get it on with her. Here's a suggestion, Mystery Incorporated Version of Velma: maybe the best way to get Shaggy to like you is NOT by being so unbelievably apathetic towards his being depressed that his dog was locked up over a crime that he was innocent of?

"Fred, who IS this horrible person, and what has she done with Velma?"

Then Velma tries to get Shaggy to cheer up by ACTING like Scooby, which was likely intended to be funny but it's not. Fred says that they're going to see Scooby at the Animal Asylumn For the Criminally Insane.

Otherwise known as "The Generic Spooky Place Seen in a Dozen Other Cartoons".

While they're exploring the place, a monkey tries to attack them, then a GIRAFFE (I am not kidding) is threatened by a guard with a taser. Scooby is very happy to see Shaggy. Shaggy announces that somehow he will get Scooby out of there, even if he has to, uh, "bite this joint right open".

Also located in this Animal Asylumn is an evil talking parrot (Udo Kier). Here's a screencap of him:

"Oh, I know I'm not a pretty birdy, but I used to be quite a looker... a STAR..."

Apparently, this parrot belonged to the "original" Mystery Incorporated (this is another recurring theme in the show, the characters are trying to figure out what happened to them). A guard warns them that even though the parrot's brain is small, he's still very intelligent - he's so intelligent, in fact, that he's somehow been able to duct-tape the guard's stun gun to his hand! The parrot acts all evil and threatening and warns Fred, Daphne, Velma and Scooby to "beware of those closest to you". Considering how unlikable Velma's been acting, perhaps that's his way of advising Shaggy to beware of HER. But then he adds, "I'm specifically talking to you, Frederick...", so I guess not.

After they leave the Jail For Insane Animals, Fred says that someone has set Scooby up - and they need to return to the scene of the crime to find out WHY. They head back to the bus and find "a robotic circuit-leg-joint". Shaggy says that should be enough proof that Scooby is innocent and that the thing that attacked the tourists was in fact a robot, but Fred says that they still need to know who built it. Velma thinks it's Jason (remember him?), so they all go to his house to ask him a few questions.

This is Jason's mother. I guess ugliness runs in the family...

As it turns out, Jason is so obsessed with Velma that his room looks like a SHRINE dedicated to her. Seriously, look at this:

This kid seriously needs some professional help...

He introduces Velma to his online nerd friends, then invites her out on a double-date. To make things even creepier, he suggests that they go on said double-date with one of his online nerd friends and his SOCK PUPPET. I did not make that up. One of Jason's online nerd friends is dating a sock puppet. With artificial intelligence. Which does not make it any less frightening.

In fact, given the appearance of that thing, that just makes it even MORE frightening.

After... well, THAT, they start interrogating Jason about the robot dog, which initially makes Jason upset, then he gets mad, dubs Velma "evil", and throws her and her friends out. After the others leave, they're suddenly attacked by the evil robot dog, who attempts to eat Daphne. They manage to knock him out of the Mystery Machine, but it continues to pursue them.

They go to Sheriff Patrick Warburton and tell him that the robot dog who attacked the tourists attacked them and that Scooby is innocent, but of course Sheriff Patrick Warburton doesn't believe them. Even after he get a call from the Animal Asylum, which is under attack from some sort of "fright hound", he doesn't believe them. "If we don't get to Scooby quick," Shaggy exclaims, "Like, that robot WILL!"

Why does the Animal Asylum suddenly look like a gingerbread house?

Indeed, the robot dog (which now looks like something out of that Five Nights at Freddy's game) is after Scooby, but Shaggy rescues him. They all drive off in the Mystery Machine, but they run out of gas in front of a creepy abandoned factory. Fred suggests that they hide in there, claiming, "We'll be safer around the dangerous machinery!" Okay, that line was kinda funny, so there's that.

Alas, Dynomutt's Evil Counterpart finds them and manages to corner Velma and Shaggy. Velma then decides to ask Shaggy IF HE'S MADE UP HIS MIND ABOUT THE "SCOOBY OR VELMA" QUESTION SHE ASKED EARLIER. Seriously, what is wrong with this girl?

Fortunately, they are rescued by Scooby in a forklift. He fights the robot dog, and eventually they manage to trap it in a net, but it escapes because the climax just hasn't been dragged out for long enough. But it winds up on a conveyor belt and torched and smashed and stuff! So it's defeated NOW, right? Well, no, it's still up and ready to attack the gang... and then, finally, Scooby defeats it. Thank God.

Sheriff Patrick Warburton shows up and Daphne tells him that they solved the mystery. And the culprit is... Jason's mom (who's voiced by Jessica Walter, by the way). I gotta admit, I did not see that coming.

"All this just so you could get me to date your son?! You're insane, lady!"

Jason's mom was ticked off at how they treated Jason at school, and decided to create a robot dog to destroy Mystery Inc. Jason is depressed because now Velma will never be his girlfriend, but Velma tells him they can still be friends. He's cool with that.

Then Shaggy decides to dump Velma. He claims that being away from Scooby made him realize that he's not ready for a girlfriend, but they can still be friends. Uh-huh. Yeah. I'm guessing he's just too nice to come out and say that he's REALLY dumping Velma because she's an unlikable person who didn't give a rat's tail when her boyfriend's dog was thrown in an animal asylum for a crime that he didn't commit. Oh, and then we get this:

Please tell me that isn't the real Yogi, and that it's actually just another bear
who shares Yogi's fashion sense. Please, PLEASE don't tell me that in this show
Yogi is just a violent animal. Ruining Velma and the Funky Phantom (don't ask)
was bad enough, please don't ruin Yogi too.

And the episode ends with the revelation that the evil parrot from before escaped, and Velma gets a text message from some guy named "Mr. E" - "follow the parrot".

So, that was Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated. And I'm not seeing the appeal. Taking a show that was mainly focused on being, you know, FUN AND LIGHT-HEARTED and making it some sort of horror cartoon does not sound like a good idea to me. It's like making a horror movie about the Banana Splits. Oh, wait...

And WHY is Velma so unbelievably unlikable here? I know I probably shouldn't be surprised since she's apparently also very unlikable in other episodes of the show, but she seriously doesn't care at all that her boyfriend's dog has been locked up and said boyfriend is upset about it?! Shaggy was right to dump her. It honestly makes me wonder of Mindy Cohn complained about the way her character was being written.

If you like it, that's fine. As for me, I'll stick with the Scooby-Doo stuff that's actually fun to watch as opposed to needlessly dark and cynical.

Thus ends another edition of "Let's Watch This". Next time we take a trip back in time to the days of Kids' WB, looking at a show about what a magical place the world is. Grab that remote control and change the channel to Channel Umptee-3, everyone.