Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Jabberjaw"

I've said this before, and I'll say it again. When something in animation is successful, people in animation WILL make the effort to cash-in on it. There are many, many examples of this.

For example, I've already gone into detail about the multiple cartoons that were created to cash-in on the success of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (such as Road Rovers, Street Sharks, and Biker Mice From Mars). And when Muppet Babies was a success, we got a slew of cartoons that ALSO turned some random cartoon characters into children (Baby Looney Tunes, The Flintstones Kids, Jungle Cubs, and Tom and Jerry Kids to name a few). The success of Disney's animated films released during what is commonly referred to as "The Disney Renaissance" (all of them from The Little Mermaid through Tarzan with the possible exception of The Rescuers Down Under) spawned animated films from other studios desperately trying to ape their style (Anastasia, Thumbelina, Quest For Camelot, etc.), which rarely worked out for them. But perhaps the most infamous example of this is the trend of Scooby-Doo clones.

So before we get to the show that we'll be doing today, we'll need to talk about Scooby-Doo.

Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? premiered in 1969, and it was a huge success. People loved those meddling kids and their dog. So Hanna-Barbera, the very company that created the series, came up with an idea - they could make a bunch of shows just like it, which would mean MORE of that success. Thus, over the years they created show upon show with what was basically the exact same premise as Scooby-Doo: some teenagers and something out of the ordinary (like a talking animal) doing stuff - as did Ruby-Spears, the animation company formed by Scooby's creators Joe Ruby and Ken Spears. I remember Boomerang used to have a whole PROGRAMMING BLOCK for shows like that. Among those shows were Josie and the Pussycats, The Funky Phantom, The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan, Speed Buggy, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids, Goober and the Ghost Chasers, Clue Club, Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels, The Buford Files, The Galloping Ghost, The New Shmoo, Fangface, and - of course - the show that I'm going to be looking at today... a show called Jabberjaw.

Jabberjaw was a twofer - it wasn't just made to cash-in on the success of Scooby-Doo, it was also made to cash-in on the success of Jaws. The show took place in the year 2076, where there are cities underwater and also a lot of lunatics who want to take over the world. Fortunately, a rock band called the Neptunes is on hand to take them down. The Neptunes consist of Fred knockoff Biff (voiced by Tommy Cook), Shaggy clone Clamhead (Barry Gordon), and two girls named Shelly (Pat Parris) and Bubbles (Julie McWhirter) who were actually clones of Alexandra and Melody from Josie and the Pussycats rather than Daphne and Velma. The star of the show, of course, was the band's drummer, a great white shark named Jabberjaw voiced by Frank Welker doing a Curly Howard impression. Jabberjaw could breathe air, walk using his tailfins, and of course talk to humans. Much like Rodney Dangerfield, he got no respect.

The show premiered in the September of 1976 and lasted only sixteen episodes. Fortunately, Jabberjaw went on to appear in other shows (particularly Jellystone!, but the less said about that show the better), and is nowadays one of the more well-known Scooby-Doo knockoffs. Is the show itself any good? Well, I watched an episode of Speed Buggy in 2020 and liked it. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised here too.

So, which episode of Jabberjaw will we be looking at? Hmmm... how about the third episode "Atlantis, Get Lost"? Let's dive in... get it, because the show takes place underwater? It's funny because... uh, anyhow, on with the review...

First of all, I noticed this in the intro... is that Zorak from Space Ghost?

I mean, the coloring's different and I'm pretty sure Zorak wasn't that big, but there's
still a pretty big resemblance...

After the theme song, the episode begins in what appears to be the very same undersea Atlantis-esque city where Flipper overheard a giant octopus and a sea snake making evil plans. We see these flying pizza box-shaped things heading towards what appears to be a Mayan temple in a bubble, but these green-skinned dudes cause them to bounce off the bubble... yeah, I have no idea what's going on.

Didn't I see this guy in Monsters vs Aliens?

Some guy that looks like the Creature From the Black Lagoon tells a woman named Queen Atlanta that they managed to drive off the "invaders". "Yes, Dorsal, thanks to you, Atlantis is saved!" Queen Atlanta replies. But Dorsal says that it's only saved temporarily and that they must strike back before they invade again. But Queen Atlanta doesn't like that idea, for the people of Atlantis are a peaceful people.

I thought Kida was the queen of Atlantis...

Then Dorsal shows her his plans, taking her to a model of one of the invaders' cities. He plans on using a "subterra-craft", which is one of those vehicles with a large drill in front of it, to make the city collapse. "It is our only hope, your majesty!" Dorsal claims. With a sigh, Queen Atlanta says, "Then we have no choice."

Then once the queen leaves, another Creature From the Black Lagoon shows up and gives some exposition - Dorsal is the Prime Minister, because Prime Ministers in cartoons are always evil. Same goes for royal advisers, by the way*. And he and his henchmen faked the attack on the city to trick the queen into thinking that the city was in great peril. Just in case you hadn't figured out by now who the villain of the episode was. "Now I am free to conquer the whole undersea world!" Dorsal proclaims, before letting out an evil laugh.

We then cut to a yellow and purple submarine. Inside, Jabberjaw and the Neptunes are rocking out for a big crowd of people. After the performance, Shelly demands that Jabberjaw get her a soda (despite the fact that Jabberjaw is not her servant or whatever, but Shelly's main personality trait is that she's a jerk so this isn't out-of-character for her), resulting in Jabberjaw getting into WACKY SHENANIGANS.

Soda machines in the year 2076 are apparently jerks.

So apparently this submarine is the underwater equivalent of a cruise ship, as the band's got cabins on it. They decide to take an elevator to the lower deck... or at least what they think is an elevator. It's actually the hatch for an emergency life boat.

Not exactly the Mystery Machine, is it?

Biff turns into Captain Obvious and points out that they're in a life boat, not an elevator. He tries to get control of the boat, but they wind up approaching Atlantis and being mistaken for intruders. Dorsal tells the other Creature From the Black Lagoon-esque dude to activate a whirlpool to take care of those meddling kids and their shark.

Is he wearing a kilt?

The whirlpool basically serves as an underwater tornado. Alas, we don't get a reference to The Wizard of Oz. Clamhead tells Jabberjaw to do something, prompting Jabberjaw to squeeze out of the boat and use some kelp as a lasso to pull his friends out of the whirlpool. Then they get beamed up by what appears to be an underwater spaceship.

I suppose now would be a good time to mention that Shelly, Bubbles, and Clamhead all have really annoying voices. Not "Herbert from Family Guy" levels of annoying, but annoying.

"Ah, yes, the Neptunes will make a fine addition to our collection of Mystery Inc.
knockoffs! Put them in-between the kids from The Funky Phantom and the Teen Angels!"

The ship takes them to Atlantis and introduced to Dorsal and Queen Atlanta. "I will take them away for further questioning," Dorsal says, but after Shelly insults him he changes his mind - instead, he'll throw them into a pit of angry alligators. Way to go, Shelly. Why do the Neptunes keep her around?

That's not really a pit, is it? Looks more like an ocean or a pond to me.

Fortunately, Jabberjaw acts as a makeshift bridge so that his friends can walk to the other side of the canyon. "Whaddya know? A Jabber-BRIDGE!" Clamhead points out. Uh, is that supposed to be a pun? Because that wasn't a pun. "Jaw" and "Bridge" sound nothing alike. And I don't think there's such thing as a "Jabber-Bridge". Ergo, not a pun. And as a result, it's not funny. Sorry.

Alas, while they're trying to sneak out of the city they're spotted by a guard. "Hoppin' halibut! Here come the troops!" Biff exclaims as several green-skinned dudes on hoverboards zoom towards them. The gang makes a run for it and find themselves in Dorsal's command room, where they come across his plans for invading the undersea cities. Then they hear Dorsal coming their way and hide. Jabberjaw tries to disguise himself as a chair, and believe it or not, it works.

So Dorsal explains his plan to his henchmen. "Each of you will receive a recorded operations disc, like this," he says, holding up a stack of CDs. Phase One of their attack will begin at dawn. After they conquer the undersea world, they will return to Atlantis and overthrow the queen, allowing Dorsal to rule Atlantis. Then... I dunno, profit?

That's some hairdo Bubbles is sporting.

"Wowie-wow-WOW! Didja hear that? Let's tell da queen!" Clamhead exclaims. Melody says that she wouldn't believe them, so Biff suggests they steal one of the recorded discs. Bubbles says that she'll grab one - which she does by walking over in full view and grabbing one. It should be pretty obvious by now that Bubbles is a few jelly sandwiches short of a pic-a-nic basket.

So now Jabberjaw and his friends are on the run again. Once they make it out into... what I'm guessing is the city's marketplace, they disguise themselves as citizens of Atlantis. Well, at least Biff, Clamhead, Shelly, and Bubbles do... Jabberjaw disguises himself as a fish vendor. This gives Shelly an idea - the Queen's Banquet is tonight, so they'll sneak into the palace disguised as waiters with a fish dinner (wouldn't that technically make them caterers?). Said fish dinner? Jabberjaw.

Wow, Jabberjaw really DOESN'T get any respect.

"The things I do to save the world," Jabberjaw moans as he's carried in on a plate. Don't worry, Jabberjaw, this still isn't the most humiliating moment of your career - you still have Jellystone! to appear in, after all. Bubbles reveals that she hid the disc in Jabberjaw's mouth. But before they make it to the queen, another green-skinned guy announces that he must inspect the "fish dinner", which he promptly does. But when he says that the queen likes her fish "broiled in butter", a horrified Jabberjaw gives them away. And now I'm hungry for seafood.

"You are going to serve the queen A LIVE FISH?!" the green-skinned dude exclaims, then presses a button that causes pipes to suck the five up and dump them outside in garbage cans. "That's one plan down da tubes!" Clamhead complains. "Now how will we ever get back to da queen's banquet?!" Fortunately, Shelly has another idea - they'll sneak in dressed as dancing girls.

I'll spare you the screencap of Jabberjaw in drag.

Biff tells the others that while they're keeping Dorsal occupied, he'll sneak up to the queen and give her the disk. They manage to pull it off without Dorsal getting in the way, and the queen obviously ain't too happy to hear that Dorsal is a big fat traitor. "Dorsal shall pay for his treachery!" she announces. She tells the guards to arrest Dorsal, but the guards are loyal to HIM, and HE tells them to arrest the queen and the Neptunes instead.

Once they're all taken prisoner, the queen laments that the Aquateers - the bravest, most loyal men in all of Atlantis - are off on another mission at the moment and can't defeat Dorsal. This gives Shelly another idea... they'll make Dorsal think THEY'RE the queen's bodyguards. But how will they get out of the room where they're being held captive? Well, there's fortunately a secret exit that Dorsal didn't know about (otherwise he'd be pretty dumb for holding them captive in that room).

"I'd like to give a little speech to celebrate my overthrowing the queen..."

The Neptunes dress up as Musketeers, fooling Dorsal's men into thinking that they're the Aquateers. You'd think they'd recognize them since they've seen them a couple times already and also there aren't a lot of giant blue sharks running around Atlantis, but whatever. A catchy pop song starts to play as they go to town on the green-skinned dudes. Honestly, Dorsal and his guards should consider themselves lucky that Jabberjaw is a good guy. I mean, he's a great white shark. He could easily eat them if he felt like it.

But Dorsal's getting away, so the Neptunes give chase on one of those hoverboard things. Jabberjaw then destroys his subterra-vehicle thing, foiling his scheme to take over the world. The queen thanks them for saving the day, and Jabberjaw is so happy to finally be getting respect that he kisses both the queen and Shelly.

Meh, still a better love story than Bee Movie...

WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

Honestly, Jabberjaw is another show that I'm gonna have to put in the "okay" category. The main thing that drags it down, in my opinion, is that four of the five main characters are not interesting. They're boring. So very, very boring. Each has, like, one personality trait (Biff is the leader, Clamhead is Shaggy except not as much of a coward, Shelly is a jerk, Bubbles is a moron) and nothing else. Even Fred and Daphne have more personality than these guys. Jabberjaw himself is the one that carries the show, and it's no surprise that he's the best part of it. Aside from that, the show is just your typical "some kids and something out of the ordinary defeat evil-doers" show, with not much to make it stand out from the other Scooby-Doo clones. But it's not a bad show, and it's juuuuuuuuuuust different enough from Scooby-Doo that you can watch it without wondering why you aren't just watching Scooby-Doo instead. My suggestion would be to watch one episode and see if you like it. If you do, watch a few more. If not, just stick with Scooby-Doo.

* Well, not ALWAYS... Maurice from Madgascar is a nice guy.