Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Pound Puppies"

In the 1980s, Tonka (the toy truck guys) came out with a toyline called "Pound Puppies". They were basically just plush dogs, but each one came with a cardboard case shaped like a doghouse and an "adoption" certificate. The idea was that anyone who bought a Pound Puppy was saving them from the pound (hence the name "Pound Puppies"). It was a big success, which I hope inspired more people to actually adopt real dogs from real pounds, assuming Lady and the Tramp didn't do that already.

And as we all know, a toyline from the 1980s wouldn't be... well, a toyline from the 1980s without some sort of animated adaptation. So in 1985, Hanna-Barbera released a TV special based on the toyline, which was also a big success, resulting in an entire TV series starring the Pound Puppies.

Pound Puppies premiered on September 13th, 1986 and received two seasons. The show focused on a group of dogs living at the pound - leader Cooler (voiced by Dan Gilvezan), Southern-accented Nose Marie (Ruth Buzzi), red-headed Bright Eyes (Nancy Cartwright), Harpo Marx lookalike Howler (originally Robert Morse, then Frank Welker), and diaper-clad Whopper (B.J. Ward). They help puppies at the pound find good homes, cared for by a girl named Holly (Ami Foster). But Holly's evil aunt Katrina Stoneheart (Pat Carroll), her daughter Brattina (Adrienne Alexander), and their cat Catgut (Frank Welker) are constantly cooking up evil schemes to making things harder for Holly and the dogs.

The show aired on ABC for twenty-six episodes. There were some VHS releases in the 1980s, but at no point was it ever released on DVD. Fortunately, you can find episodes on YouTube. Is the show any good? Why don't we find out? The episode we'll be watching today is the fifth - "The Fairy Dogmother". This is Pound Puppies.

The episode begins with millions of poorly-animated puppies barking at us, then Cooler pushes a few aside and comments that they're up to their eyeballs in puppies. This results in Bright Eyes and Howler singing a song that's just "Camptown Races" with new lyrics. Are they filming a commercial for the pound or something?

Somebody working on this show actually said "You know what the world needs? A dog
that looks like Harpo Marx."

Meanwhile, Nose Marie is helping Holly with her "extremely strange little ballgown". Whopper stands nearby, wearing a beret and speaking in a bad French accent.

Okay, the episode just started and I have no idea what's going on. There are puppies everywhere, two of the dogs are singing "Camptown Races', and Whopper is suddenly French. Maybe I should've reviewed the first episode instead.

"Hoh hoh hoh! I am Stereotypical French Pound Puppy! Sacre bleu, mon ami, bonjour,
other stereotypical French sayings!"

So apparently Holly is going to a dance, but there's just one problem - she doesn't have a date. But apparently there's a boy named Mervin who she thinks will ask her to go with him. So... problem solved, I guess?

Alas, Problem Number Two rears its ugly head. Some construction workers are doing road work just outside the pound. "Oh, great! Now how are we gonna get these pups adopted if nobody can get here?!" Cooler asks, continuing to sound like a bad impression of John Travolta.

It's hard to take a dog who sounds like John Travolta and looks like Snoopy trying to be
the Fonz seriously.

Then we cut to the mansion where Katrina, Brattina, and Catgut live. Katrina gives us some exposition about how she's the reason they're doing road work and blocking off the pound - the three of them put potholes all over the street. But this, she declares, is only the first step in her battle against the pound.

Did they ever actually explain why Katrina hates the pound so much? Seriously, what is her deal? Does she just hate dogs so much that the idea of a place where people can adopt them disgusts her? Did a dog once mistake her for a fire hydrant and urinate on her leg? Or is she just evil because it's how she gets her kicks?

Seriously, she's actually declared WAR on a dog pound. At some point, Katrina's gonna have to take a good, long look at herself and wonder what the heck she's doing with her life.

Also, was she intended to be a caricature of Phyllis Diller?

Katrina declares that she will demolish the pound, then tells Catgut that he will go undercover in the neighborhood dressed as a Pound Puppy and make sure that everyone in town hates the Pound Puppies. He will accomplish this by making a movie about them called Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw. It will be a flop, and the critics will tear it apart, putting the franchise out of commission until a 2010 reboot of the cartoon featuring none of the original characters.

Actually, it's kind of odd that they made the one cat in this cartoon evil, seeing as how there was also a line of plush cats called "Pound Pur-r-ies". I guess it's because if your cartoon stars dogs, you have to make cats the bad guys since dogs and cats hate each other.

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to make people want to buy goldfish at their
local pet shop instead."

"Request permission to do the Muttley laugh, Sarge?"

"Permission granted. It's a Hanna-Barbera cartoon, after all..."

But that's not all - Katrina also plans on having Brattina ruin Holly's chances with Mervin. Because... I guess she just likes seeing Holly miserable.

Meanwhile, outside the pound, Holly runs into Mervin. It's here that we see that the pound is named "Holly's Puppy Pound", which makes me wonder why a fifth-grader is running a dog pound all by herself. I mean, I know the sentient dogs are helping her too, but it's supposed to be a secret in this show that the dogs can talk. Why isn't anybody raising an eyebrow?

Were kids in the 1980s really dressing like this?

Holly and Mervin do some awkward flirting, but before Mervin can invite Holly to the dance, Brattina shows up and she's all "Go to the dance with ME!" while Holly and the dogs look ticked-off.

By the way, Brattina's voice is incredibly annoying.

So Brattina basically forces Mervin to go to the dance with her, and Holly is upset. And then Cooler spots Catgut dressing up in a dog costume so he can cause trouble and make everyone think Pound Puppies are the scum of the earth. Believe it or not, it's actually working.

Katrina watches this all go down from her mansion window, cackling about how soon the citizens will demand that the pound be shut down. That, or they'll demand that the pound do what it does to all dogs that don't find owners and give 'em the gas (which is why you should really consider adopting a dog from your local pound - just FYI). Either or.

"Look at all those people down there, standing in the middle of the street! Don't they know
that's dangerous?!"

Then Katrina gives Holly a million chores so that she won't be able to clear the Pound Puppies' names. The dogs watch this from their television set... because I guess they set up spy cameras all over Katrina's house? If they did, wouldn't they have seen her making plans to destroy Holly's happiness earlier? And if they did, why didn't they stop her?

Meh, I guess they were too busy singing and making a dress to do that.

"Where's the remote? Maybe Rainbow Brite is on another channel..."

I was going to point out how similar this was to Cinderella, but Cooler does it for me. Then Whopper brings up how in the movie, Cinderella had a fairy godmother who saved the day by... turning a pumpkin into a dragon who eats the castle and marries Prince Charming. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that didn't happen in Cinderella, but if it had, it would've been a far more interesting movie. If this episode doesn't end with a dragon hooking up with Mervin, I'm going to be very disappointed.

Meh, still a better love story than Bee Movie...

Bright Eyes suggests that they call upon "the Fairy Dogmother" to save Holly. Who is the Fairy Dogmother? Well, apparently she's a magical fairy dog who comes to help dogs in need when they wish upon the Dog Star. Predictably, everyone believes that Bright Eyes is crazy. Even crazier than Whopper, the dog who claimed that Cinderella features a dragon marrying Prince Charming.

Side note, Bright Eyes looks and sounds a lot like Elmyra Duff. I know this show came out before Tiny Toon Adventures, but still...

Also, her pupils are freaking me out.

Despite Cooler and Nose Marie's being skeptical, Bright Eyes makes a wish upon the Dog Star and the Fairy Dogmother appears... in her bathtub. Never fails - you get in the bath, and there's a wish upon the Dog Star. And apparently Fairy Dogmothers like to take their baths fully-clothed, too.

"EEEEEEEEEEEK! PEEPING TOMS!"

Fade to black... and then we're once again greeted by a screen full of barking puppies, and then Cooler pops out and comments on how many puppies they've got around. For a second, I was worried that the episode was starting over again. But it doesn't. We DO, however, get Bright Eyes and Howler singing "Camptown Races" again.

After the song, the dogs tells the Fairy Dogmother… whose name is apparently "Zazu" (insert reference to The Lion King here)… that Holly needs her help. So she flies into the mansion and we get countless unfunny jokes about how the Fairy Dogmother is a moron. She says that she'll help Holly by... cleaning up everything. Not exactly turning a pumpkin into a carriage, is it?

We cut to the next day, where Holly is still doing all her chores and Zazu laments that she's useless. But then Whopper notices that Mervin is approaching the mansion. Cooler suggests that Zazu give Mervin the nerve he needs to ask Holly to the dance. Wait, wasn't the dance the night before? And didn't Brattina already call dibs on going there with Mervin? I'm confused.

Zazu shoots Mervin with some magic love dust that'll make him fall in love with the first person he sees. There's no way that THIS can backfire on them, is there?

"Did I just hear somebody say that the boy Holly likes has been doused with magic love dust
that'll make him fall in love with the first person he sees?! I must make sure that I'M the first
person he sees!"

Yep, there is indeed a way. Brattina sends Holly flying into the bushes and as soon as Mervin sees her his eyes turn into hearts and he floats over to her.

You had ONE JOB, Zazu!

Okay, so the dance is apparently on Saturday Night, it was not in fact the night before, and Mervin asks Brattina if she'll go with him. So far Zazu hasn't been accomplishing much in the helping Holly department. Well, maybe she can do something to stop Catgut from causing mischief in his Pound Puppy costume.

Or maybe she won't have to. Three tough guy cats seem to have the situation under control.

Hey, how come these cats can talk but Catgut can't?

Catgut manages to get the cats off his tail by ditching the suit, then Cooler gives Zazu the idea to clean up the mess Catgut made before the neighbors come out, see it, and blame the Pound Puppies for it. And she can fix all the potholes, too.

Alas, when it comes to casting spells, Zazu forgets, it helps to be specific. She tells the street to return to the way it was "way back when" and suddenly the city is replaced by a prehistoric valley.

Well, on the bright side, the dogs could just have the dinosaur step on Katrina, Brattina,
and Catgut. Problem solved.

Zazu dubs herself a "fairy dog-failure", fade to black... and once again we get the barking puppies filling up the screen and Cooler pointing it out. Is this just going to happen after every fade to black?

And then guess what? We get another performance of "Camptown Races". After that, Bright Eyes manages to convince Zazu not to leave by saying that if she does, she's just a big fat fake. Zazu then turns the swamp back into a city - minus the potholes - and then cleans up Catgut's mess.

"Wow! You're NOT such an incompetent idiot after all!"

Next, Zazu casts a spell that makes the zipper on Catgut's dog suit stuck, meaning that he can't take it off when those cats show up again to beat the stuffing out of him. "Looks like Catgut has really gone to the dogs!" Cooler quips.

We are then treated to... oy gevalt... Katrina and Brattina screeching out a version of "I've Been Working on the Railroad" about how they're making Holly suffer. Mervin shows up to take Brattina to the dance, and the three of them (Katrina is chaperoning) head off, leaving Holly to wallow in her misery. That is, until the dogs show up.

Zazu whips Holly up a fancy dress, then teleports them all to the dance. There, she gets rid of the love spell she cast on Mervin earlier, snapping him out of it and freeing him up to dance with Holly. Now the only problem is figuring out how to get all those puppies at the pound adopted. Fortunately, Cooler has an idea...

I'm just now noticing that Whopper has an abnormally-large head.

Zazu casts a spell that teleports all the puppies to the dance, which not only causes Katrina and Brattina to flee but makes all the kids at the dance instantly want to adopt one. Then Katrina, Brattina, and Catgut get mauled by those three cats.

And then we get a reprise of "Camptown Races". The end, right? Not quite - we get a short where Nose Marie talks about the importance of feeding schedules for your pet dog. And then it ends, hoping that it's convinced the kids watching it at home to go to their local toy store and buy their own Pound Puppy.

What's the Verdict?

Pound Puppies is mediocre. Most of the characters are annoying, the songs are bad, and it's not quite My Little Pony levels of sappy but still pretty sappy. But I wouldn't go so far as to say it's AWFUL. I've seen far worse shows. It's basically just your typical "cartoon from the 1980s made to sell toys" sort of shows. Y'know, like Care Bears or, again, My Little Pony. If you're a fan of the toy line, go ahead and watch an episode. If not, there are better cartoons worth your time.

As for me, I'll stick with THESE Hanna-Barbera dogs...