Let's Watch This: An Episode of "The X's"

The 2000s are known for many things - the first iPod came out, Shrek was released, American Idol was more popular than ever, Britney Spears was beloved by all, Crazy Frog was a thing... it was a mixed bag of a decade, I'll tell you that. But this was ALSO the decade in which Nickelodeon all but ruled the world when it came to appealing to children. And on the one hand, it gave us The Penguins of Madagascar, The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron - Boy Genius, and Avatar: The Last Airbender. And of course, SpongeBob SquarePants (while it doesn't actually qualify as a 2000s Nickelodeon show since it premiered in 1999) was their biggest moneymaker, with countless merchandise, hilarious episode upon hilarious episode, and the 2004 release of The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie. And it was in 2002 that Nicktoons Network launched, offering a home for past Nicktoons like Doug and Rocko's Modern Life. On the other hand, the 2000s is also the decade when they stopped making Nickelodeon Magazine, Fanboy and Chum-Chum premiered, and the Nicktoons had to compete with airtime for live action "tweencoms". The 2000s also saw the closure of Nickelodeon's studios in Florida, a beloved part of Universal Studios Florida since it opened in the 1990s. Nickelodeon also came up with some pretty weird ideas during this decade. For example, remember THIS?

The 2000s is full of obscure Nickelodeon shows that are perfect for looking at on animation-reviewing blogs like this one. This is the decade that gave us Corneil and Bernie and Yakkity Yak, for one thing. One such show in this category is The X's.

What the heck is The X's? Well, it's the creation of Carlos Ramos (who previously wrote episodes for shows like Time Squad and Dexter's Laboratory), and it premiered on Nickelodeon in 2005. Nineteen episodes were aired, but apparently Nickelodeon didn't have much faith in the show as it barely advertised it or gave it reruns, and eventually cancelled it a year later.

The show's intro explains just what, exactly, the plot of the show is. The titular X's are a family of spies working for an organization called SUPERIOR. They consist of dad Tucker X (voiced by Patrick Warburton), mom Trudy X (Wendie Malick - so that's two actors who were in The Emperor's New Groove featured here), teenage daughter Tuesday X (Lynsey Bartilson) and young son Truman X (Jansen Panettiere). They fight an evil organization called S.N.A.F.U. (which stands for Society of Nefarious And Felonius Undertakings) led by the villainous Glowface (Chris Hardwick). They also have the help of a computerized brain that sort of runs their house for them named Home Base (Stephen Root).

I never watched this show when it was on, but I remember brushing it off as a knockoff of The Incredibles. Apparently, so did a lot of other people. Maybe that's why the show didn't last too long. After actually watching an episode, I discovered that it's really not all that much like The Incredibles. But is it a good show? I'm not going to tell you that right away, otherwise this review would be over in five seconds.

Anyway, let's watch the first episode of the show and see if there's anything of substance. This is one of those "every episode is actually two episodes in one" shows, so we have two segments here - "AAIIEE, Robot!" (gee, I wonder what movie that's a reference to) and "Mission: Irresponsible". Here we go...

"AAIIEE, Robot!" - or rather "aaiiee robot" as the title card reads - begins with the family fighting Glowface. Trudy winds up hurting her leg on a coffee table, which Glowface and his Mr. Herriman-voiced butler claim that nobody can avoid. "Curse you, coffee table, curse you!" Trudy says.

Glowface gets away by hailing a taxi, and they can't go after him because, according to Tucker, Trudy needs medical attention... and also, he needs to return some DVDs before the rental place closes. Remember when you could rent DVDs? From places like Blockbuster and Hollywood Video? Boy, THAT takes me back. Then streaming services like Netflix came along and ruined everything.

You'd think that being voiced by Patrick Warburton would automatically make the dad
funny. It doesn't.

So now Trudy is in bed with a leg in a cast for six to eight weeks. To fill in for her on missions during that time, Truman has created a robot. Behold "Robo-Mom".

Wasn't there an episode of Jimmy Neutron very much like this?

Yeah, that is without a doubt the crummiest-looking robot that I have ever seen. For one thing, why does it have a tail?

Anyhow, the robot immediately starts attacking Tucker... for some reason. Maybe it really hates cliched "dumb dad" characters.

No, seriously, why does it have a tail? Is that its exhaust pipe or something?

Suddenly, the X's get an alert from SUPERIOR and head off to fight evil, leaving Trudy to focus on getting better. Fortunately, she has Home Base around to keep her company.

Look at the size of that mouth.

She starts watching a Spanish soap opera... that's a common thing in cartoons, I've noticed. There was an episode of Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends where it's revealed Bloo watched a Spanish soap opera, too. Are Spanish soap operas considered funny? I've never watched one, is there anything inherently funny about them?

Meanwhile, Tucker, Tuesday, Truman, and Robo-Mom are off on their mission. Apparently, the Ambassador of "Pandracka" is in town to visit the Museum of Art. The X's must protect him from those who might wish him harm. Because apparently this Ambassador doesn't have any bodyguards. Truman will use his anti-gravity boots to follow the Ambassador everywhere he goes. Tuesday will pose as a museum guard and pre-screen each room before he enters. And Tucker will be disguised as a small child, because big beefy guys dressed like small children is another thing that's considered funny.

He's the one in blue with the lollipop, not the baby in the stroller.

We also get to hear Patrick Warburton shout, "WHERE IS MY DOLLY?! I HAVE TO MAKE WEE-WEE IN THE POTTY!" I love Patrick Warburton as much as the next animation fanatic, but having to say that really is not the proudest moment of his career.

Oh, and Robo-Mom will take the place of one of the museum's vending machines. Alas, Robo-Mom winds up attacking the Ambassador. I don't know if she's glitching or if this just means Truman stinks at building robots, but either way, Tucker's plan was an epic fail.

The family decides not to tell Trudy about what happened because then she'll feel like she let them down. So they'll just act like everything went great. Which will no doubt make Mrs. X feel great instead of making her feel sad because she thinks the family is fine without her as is normally the case in cartoons with plotlines like this. Home Base protests that he hates lying, but Truman and Tucker threaten to take a belt sander to his hard drive if he tells Trudy what really happened.

So they all tell Trudy that the mission went fine without her and Robo-Mom is awesome. Tuesday - who the heck names their kid that, by the way? - even goes so far as to cheerfully tell her that they don't need her at all. Because THAT'S not going to backfire on you, is it? And then Robo-Mom starts beating up Tucker again. Hello, Running Gag.

So then the family gets another mission and they all head out, leaving Trudy feeling sad because she thinks the family doesn't need her. I knew it. I knew this would happen. She decides to drown her sorrows with more Spanish soap operas.

Seriously, are Spanish soap operas actually considered humorous?

Glowface apparently has a new and improved version of the evil plan that the X's thwarted earlier. Robo-Mom starts acting up again and starts smashing the communications unit of the X's "X-Jet", which confuses Truman. Truman, no offense, but has it occurred to you that maaaaaaaaaaaybe you're not that great at programming robots?

And we keep cutting back to Trudy lying in bed watching Spanish soap operas. I still don't get it - why is this funny? Is it because they're speaking Spanish? Is Spanish automatically considered a funny language? Is it because soap operas are incredibly dramatic and have over the top acting and ridiculous plots? What's the joke here?

Eventually, Home Base gets fed up with the lying and Trudy acting all depressed and the stupid soap operas and tells Trudy that Robo-Mom is an utter catastrophe and that her family only told her otherwise because they didn't want her to worry. This gives her the confidence to help her family defeat Glowface - right after she gets a wheelchair, two atomic rockets, and some duct tape.

We haven't had a screencap of Glowface yet, so here's one now. Nice teeth
he's got there, huh?

Trudy shows up at Glowface's evil lair in a rocket-powered wheelchair. Did I mention how annoying Glowface's voice is? Because it's incredibly annoying. I mean, not "Herbert from Family Guy" levels of annoying, but annoying. She easily beats the crap out of Glowface's henchmen, but there's only one thing standing it between her and going to town on Glowface - a coffee table! You know, just like the one that she her leg on earlier!

Pictured: the TRUE villain of the episode.

So what does she do? Easy - she goes around it. Why that didn't occur to her the second she saw it, I don't know, but she defeats Glowface. Then her family shows up. Trudy tells them that she's learned something today: she can not be replaced because she has an unlimited capacity for senseless violence! Oh, and Robo-Mom beats up Tucker again. Fortunately, Mrs. X defeats her too.

And we end with the X's going home to watch more Spanish soap operas. Because Spanish soap operas are still automatically funny, I guess.

People watching Spanish soap operas = comedy, apparently.

Okay, next episode...

We start off with Truman and Tuesday playing a video game. Tucker and Trudy show up and send them to bed because it's 10:00 and they have an early morning mission the next day. Which reminds me, I really need to stop going to bed at 10:30, it makes getting up in the morning so difficult.

So, what do Tucker and Trudy have to do tonight? The same thing they do every night - try to take over the world!

Okay, obviously, that's not it, I just wanted to make that joke. Actually, the X-Jet needs to be refueled, Home Base's "reacticore" needs cooling, stuff like that. But Tucker and Trudy immediately become distracted by the video game.

Why do so many characters that Patrick Warburton voices have big chins?

They start playing the video game, and despite Tucker's claims that they're only going to play for a few minutes, we cut to them in the morning extremely tired because they stayed up all night playing it. Truman and Tuesday call them out for being so irresponsible, and you know what? They're right.

And because they didn't refuel the X-Jet the previous night, it immediately starts falling out of the sky. Fortunately, the X's parachute to safety! Unfortunately, the X-Jet winds up destroying Stonehenge. Oh, way to go, fellas. NOW what will people look at and wonder whether or not it was built by time-traveling aliens?

By the way, I'm just now noticing that Tuesday's hair switches colors every five seconds. In one shot it's green, in the next it's blue. Does she just dye her hair a different color every five seconds?

Speaking of color, why is everything green? Is that just the animators' favorite color
or something?

Home Base yells at Tucker and Trudy for destroying Stonehenge. As punishment, Tucker is no longer the leader of the team. He responds by making this face:

Hello, new potential meme...

Truman is dubbed the new leader, to which he exclaims, "Tasty!" I don't recall that being a popular thing for kids to say in 2005, but whatever. And Tuesday is replacing Trudy as second-in-command. They will be reevaluated at the end of a forty-eight hour trial period. Then Truman says that not only will they be swapping ranks, they'll also be swapping uniforms. Thus, Tucker has to dress like this...

Yeeeeeeeeeesh...

"You've been bossing us around our whole lives!" Truman points out. "So Dad, MOW THE LAWN!" Tuesday adds that Trudy must do all her homework for the entire year. As their parents walk off, Truman straight-up says that he's going to let the power corrupt him. I can only see THIS ending well...

Seriously, look at all that green. Did the X's have the Grinch as their house painter?

Tucker and Trudy fail epically at doing their new chores, but eventually Trudy figures out that Tuesday and Truman are trying to make them crack, which gives Tucker an idea - they must prove that it's harder to be THEM than it is harder to be Tuesday and Truman. So no matter how bad things get in the next forty-eight hours, they have to pretend that they LIKE IT. I can only see THIS ending well, too...

So Tucker and Trudy start acting like they're having the time of their lives doing their chores, much to Truman and Tuesday's shock. Tuesday announces that they'll have to turn up the heat. But first, Home Base tells them that THEY have things to do. For example, Tucker must fill out requisition forms. And Tuesday must begin a sixteen-hour training session that involves getting the crap beaten out of her by robots. Despite how much they hate it, they tell their parents that they're having a great time too because they don't want Tucker and Trudy to win this little game of "Let's All Act Like Idiots". Then they get another mission from SUPERIOR.

Walkmans and hand-held video games. Remember THOSE? Now we've got
smartphones and their fancy apps in their place. The 2000s were a different time,
let me tell you...

They arrive at the evil lair of... oh, jeez, Glowface again? I have to listen to his grating voice some more? They manage to make complete idiots out of themselves some more, and as a combination of their not knowing what they're doing and Glowface and his henchmen laughing at their stupidity, their mission turns out to be another epic fail.

Back at the house, Truman and Tuesday announce that it's time for Tucker and Trudy to watch EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION. Good thing SpongeBob isn't here. They turn on a Barney the Dinosaur knockoff, and despite how frustrated they are by it Tucker continues to act like he's having a blast. And I will admit, this scene WAS pretty funny.

Truman, meanwhile, has to shave despite the fact that he's, what, six? And SUPERIOR has "hairstyle regulations" as well, so now Tuesday has to get a hairdo like her mom's. Dunno why she's bothered by that, considering she dyes her hair a different color every five seconds anyhow, but eh...

The good news is, the forty-eight hour trial is up. And because the X's continue to think that deceit and lying is the best way to solve their problems, SUPERIOR has decided to make their new ranks PERMANENT. So finally and I mean FINALLY they admit to each other that they hate their new ranks and that they want to switch back. But they can't just swap ranks, SUPERIOR has to order them to. And as if things couldn't possibly get any worse, they get a video call from Glowface (he got their number after Tucker prank-called him).

Did they HAVE to make this guy's voice so incredibly grating?!

Glowface and his henchmen, still laughing at how the X's made idiots out of themselves, tell them to come over and invade his evil lair. Fortunately, Tucker has a plan to get SUPERIOR to switch their ranks back. How do they accomplish this? By firing a rocket that promptly destroys Mount Everest. This outrages SUPERIOR and they force them to switch back to their original ranks. Huzzah!

So the X's go to Glowface's evil lair and beat the crap out of him and his henchmen. Oh, and it turns out that Tuesday and Truman forgot to refuel the jet and it winds up falling out of the sky again. The end.

WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

I will say this - The X's wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be. But it's another show that I'm just gonna put in the "okay" pile. Most of the jokes fall flat, the voice actors do their best but are held back by a lousy script, and the animation is a bit inconsistent - at times it looks like bad Adobe Flash animation, other times it's pretty fluid (I legitimately can not tell if this was animated in Flash or not). But it's not god-awful or anything. In fact, I would hesitate to call it bad. It's just okay. If nothing else, I give 'em credit for doing something unique with the art style (even if I really didn't care for the character designs). If you want to watch it, the series' director David Marshall uploaded every episode to Vimeo. Which is convenient, seeing as the show doesn't have a DVD release outside of two episodes being included on the fourth and fifth volumes of that "Nick Picks" thing.

So, what are we looking at next time?

Ah, yes, a Flintstones spinoff that was made because Hanna-Barbera desperately wanted to cash in on the success of Rugrats. This should be fun...