Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Nightmare Ned"

You might not be familiar with Creative Capers Entertainment, but there's a good chance that you've seen their work. Over the years, they've done a lot of work for Disney... animation for the theme parks, the cruise ships, CD-roms, and even a few of their live action movies. One of the projects they worked on for Disney was a video game called Nightmare Ned, which they were also developing a TV series based on. The show wound up being completed before the game, so that's how the world was introduced to Ned.

Poor, poor Ned Needlemeyer, voiced by Courtland Mead, is an anxious bespectacled boy who is subjected to bizarre nightmares every time he goes to sleep. Turning into a dog, forgetting to wear clothes to school, being abducted by aliens... anything was possible in the dreams of Ned. Quite frankly, if I had horrifying dreams like that every time I went to sleep, I'd be terrified of getting in bed.

Nightmare Ned was created by Terry Shakespeare, G. Sue Shakespeare, and David Molina of Creative Capers Entertainment, and premiered in April 1997 on ABC. Apparently due to production difficulties such as disagreements between producer Donovan Cook and developer Walt Dohrn, the show only received twelve episodes (each featuring two segments, except for the twelfth episode which had three). For some reason, reruns never aired on Toon Disney and the show is not on Disney Plus at the moment (one of the many, many Disney cartoons that hasn't been added to it - why isn't The Weekenders on there yet, Disney?). It's an obscure little show that's ripe for reviewing on my blog.

And fortunately, you can find episodes of the show on YouTube, so what say we give it a watch? We'll be checking out the eleventh episode, which consists of the segments "Along For the Ride" and "Steamed Vegetables". This is Nightmare Ned.

We start off in what appears to be the middle of nowhere, with nothing but rock formations and cacti as far as the eye can see. Ned's family drives by in their car, apparently on a road trip. Ned asks if they're there yet, which for some reason really sets his dad (Brad Garrett) off. "It's very hard to have a fun family vacation with Ned being such a sad sack!" he complains. Jeez, way to be a pill, Mr. Needlemeyer. Who the heck talks about their kid like that? And IN FRONT OF THEM, no less?

Ned's infant sister (Kath Souice), meanwhile, is repeatedly squeezing a rubber duck, which gets on everyone's nerves. The mom (Victoria Jackson) tells Ned to take the duck away from her, but the second he does, the baby starts crying. "RETURN! THE DUCKY!" the dad shouts. This is one of those situations where Ned, quite frankly, can not win.

But look on the bright side, Ned - it could be worse. You could have an obnoxious talking
newt who repeatedly screws up your life for a pet.

Somehow, between the baby's repeated squeaking of the ducky and his parents' singing, Ned manages to fall asleep. In his dream, the sky is black as opposed to yellow and the desert is purple, and the car is approaching a charming little place called the Tumbleweed Motel. Apparently nobody told the folks who built this motel that motels usually don't have more than two floors. Shouldn't it actually be called the "Tumbleweed HOTEL"?

This screencap has been brought to you by the color purple.

Upon seeing the motel, Ned wants to stay in the car... even though the hotel doesn't really look that scary. A few minutes after his family heads inside, a creepy green-skinned guy with a hook for a hand (clearly Jeff Bennett) climbs into the front seat and announces that Ned will stay there FOREVER, bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha... oh, wait, he's just the valet.

I would not trust this guy behind the wheel of my car.

The interior of the Tumbleweed Motel looks like something Tim Burton would design if he went into the architecture business. The creepy green-skinned guy, as it turns out, is also the clerk, and he says that if the family wants a room, they'll have to pay forty dollars... and their SOULS. Because the dad is an idiot, he says, "Make it TWENTY dollars and our souls and you've got a deal!"

"Does this place have Wi-Fi?"

"Yes, but it's password-protected. I'll give you the password if you hand over your children."

"Well, I'm a typical bumbling cartoon dad, so I see nothing disturbing about that!"

Ned decides to take the stairs up to their room while his parents and sister hop into an elevator pulled by a rope that a rat is chewing on. By now, he's convinced that this place is "a horrible, twisted outpost of evil that nobody ever escapes from". At least you get a free mint on your pillow every night. Oh, and the creepy green-skinned guy is dressed as a maid now. Because I really needed to see him in drag. Thanks for that...

Since this episode takes place in a creepy motel, I fully expect them to make at least one reference to The Shining. At some point, the creepy green-skinned guy is going to burst through the door with an axe and shout "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S [WHATEVER THE NAME OF THIS CHARACTER IS]!"

It wasn't a glamorous gig, but the Wicked Witch of the West needed to put bread on the table
SOMEHOW...

The creepy guy sucks up Ned with a vacuum cleaner, propelling Ned into what could only possibly be described an acid trip. His head even falls off!

"I've heard of losing your head, but this is ridiculous!"

After his body retrieves his head, Ned is advised by a rat to look for his family behind that door with an "EXIT" sign over it. When Ned opens the door, he does indeed find his family - chained to the wall because of that creepy green-skinned guy. I love how the dad's reaction to seeing the guy is just to shout, "WHERE IS MY MINT, YOU FIEND?!" Nice to see that his priorities are in check.

The creepy green-skinned guy traps Ned in a cage and tortures him by... squeaking the rubber duck. Ned wakes up, and after screaming his head off he realizes that it was all just a dream and is relieved that he is not the prisoner of a demented hook-handed psychopath with skin the color of Shrek's. He then throws the rubber duck out of the car... which doesn't seem like such a good idea to me. Won't the baby start crying again?

What horrors await Ned in the next segment, "Steamed Vegetables"?

Well, Ned is taking part in his school play, "Happy Colon: A Wonderous Journey Thru Our Digestive System". He's not too thrilled about it, mainly because he's stuck in a goofy-looking ear of corn costume. Or maybe he's actually dressed as a loofah, it's hard to tell...

Despite his very impressive sea sponge costume, Ned failed the audition for SpongeBob SquarePants.

Mr. Needlemeyer channels the dad from Calvin and Hobbes and claims that doing things you hate builds character. Mrs. Needlemeyer gives her son a pep talk, but Ned is still a bundle of nerves and can't remember his lines. His teacher (Tress MacNeille) tells him to sit in a chair and breathe in and out repeatedly. This, as it turns out, is a bad idea - Ned winds up falling asleep in the chair. When he wakes up, he's dressed as a human ear, not an ear of corn (or a loofah).

No, no, Ned. The play about parts of the body is NEXT week...

When Ned peeks behind the curtain, he discovers that the audience looks more like the produce section of the grocery store. Carrots, broccoli, eggplants, tomatoes, onions... all of them looking really, really ticked-off.

If the tomato doesn't like Ned's performance, will it throw itself at him?

Ned messes up his line - it's supposed to be "Vegetables are succulent!", but instead he says "Vegetables SUCK!"... wow, how'd they get away with THAT in a kids' show? The rejected VeggieTales characters are very offended, particularly a Jeff Bennett-voiced ear of corn. "No, no! You don't understand! I love corn! I love ALL vegetables!" Ned says nervously. "I eat vegetables every day!" This, of course, is not a bright thing to say to a bunch of vegetables. Though I'm not sure why the tomatoes and pumpkin are offended, considering they're actually FRUIT...

"Make one 'lend me your ears' joke and I'll pulverize ya!"

Ned makes a run for it, the produce in hot pursuit. Eventually, they tackle him and things take a turn for the REALLY strange. They have themselves a little sacrificing, with pickles playing bongo drums and the veggies donning bunny ears and tails and chanting. Ned is placed on top of a skyscraper, dressed as a carrot and sitting on a plate.

The "EAT ME" sign is what makes it.

Even funnier, the creature that the vegetables are summoning turns out to be a giant pink bunny rabbit. Just as it's about to gobble Ned up, Ned frantically shouts that the rabbit can't eat him because he's, uh, DESSERT, since he's his favorite food he MUST be dessert, and he can't eat his dessert until he eats all of his vegetables... which turns the rabbit's attention to the sentient produce down below. Very clever, Ned. Very clever indeed...

Maybe if Ned gives it a giant drum and a pair of sunglasses, it'll leave him alone.

The rabbit picks up a tomato, but it protests that it's actually a fruit and that if it wants a vegetable, it should eat Ned. "Oh, silly rabbit! Are you gonna listen to a TOMATO?" Ned complains. "He's just a primitive form of ketchup! You gonna eat KETCHUP for DESSERT?" Then he takes off his carrot costume, revealing himself to be a boy... and rabbits don't eat people. Then the tomato reveals that it's not a tomato at all, it's an INVESTMENT BANKER. Then the rabbit reveals that he's not a rabbit at all, but rather a giant cowboy. A CANNIBALISTIC cowboy!

Ned is woken up by his teacher, who pushes him onstage with the other kids. And Ned remembers his lines. He feels pretty good about himself... until he sees the investment banker and the cowboy in the audience. I think they should've had the giant pink bunny in the audience, that would've been funnier...

What's the Verdict?

It's too bad this show only got a few episodes, I honestly thought it was pretty good. Of the two segments, I preferred "Steamed Vegetables" over "Along For the Ride", mainly because it was a lot funnier. I mean, come on, a kid in a carrot costume being served by sentient vegetables to a giant pink rabbit? It's so out there that it's hard not to laugh. The animation is pretty good, and the voice actors all do a great job - Courtland Mead, in particular, deserves a lot of credit for his performance as Ned. He really nails the character's frequent screams. It's obviously not the BEST of Disney's cartoon shows, I don't know if I'd even put it in the top ten, but it's worth checking out at least ONE episode.

I wonder if the reason why the show didn't catch on is because the premise scared kids away. The name "Nightmare Ned" implies that this is a creepy cartoon. Nobody wants to have nightmares, so why would they want to watch a show where the whole plot is this kid having nightmares? Though as far as cartoons go, this is far from the scariest I've ever seen. Even SpongeBob had scarier moments than this (those close-ups of the deer fly in "Wormy"... yeesh).