Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Teacher's Pet"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

The day I wrote this review, I originally attempted to write a review of Mega Babies. After so many reviews of cartoons that were simply mediocre, I figured I needed to review something really bad to keep the blog from getting monotomous. Problem is, I really couldn't find anything funny to say about Mega Babies - it was horrible, but all I could think of to say was "This is disgusting!" over and over again. Plus, I didn't want to subject my readers to the gross imagery in the show, but the only way to do THAT would be to do a review with no screencaps, which wouldn't be very visually interesting. So instead...

Teacher's Pet is one of Disney's best 2000s cartoons, I'd honestly put it above their more popular stuff from that era like The Proud Family and American Dragon: Jake Long (not that I don't like the latter, I just think Teacher's Pet is more fun). What really helped it stand out was its distinctive art style: that of Gary Baseman, one of the show's three creators - the other two being Bill and Cheri Steinkellner. Even if you've never heard his name, you have to have seen his work SOMEWHERE. He's the guy who did the artwork for the Cranium games.

In my house, we had Cranium Cadoo.

Premiering on ABC as part of its One Saturday Morning block on September 9th, 2000, the show focused on a nine-year-old boy named Leonard Helperman, voiced by Shaun Fleming, and his pet dog Spot, voiced by Nathan Lane. Leonard already has an embarassing experience at school every day because his mother, Mary Lou Helperman (voiced by Debra Jo Rupp), is his class teacher. But things get even WEIRDER for him when Spot decides he wants to go to school too. Spot disguises himself as a boy named Scott Leadready II and joins the class. Even though he's just a dog wearing human clothes, everybody falls for it... presumably because everyone else in this world is already pretty bizarre-looking. Eventually, Leonard finds out that the new kid is his dog, but reluctantly allows Spot to continue the charade. Hilarity ensues.

In 2002, the show was moved from ABC to Toon Disney. Two seasons and a total of thirty-nine episodes were produced. It even got a movie that served as the finale. In theaters! Which was a box office bomb, but still, even Phineas and Ferb never got a theatrical movie!

For years, only one of the show's episodes - the pilot - was released on VHS or DVD, as a bonus feature on the DVD release of the movie. Aside from that, after reruns went off the air you'd have to look on YouTube or Dailymotion to watch the show, at least until Disney got them taken off YouTube for copyright infringement. Fortunately, the entire series is now on Disney Plus. Which means that I've been able to rewatch the show and rediscover how great it is.

So, what makes Teacher's Pet such a fun show? Let's watch the fourth episode, "A Lick is Still a Kiss", and I'll elaborate a little. This is Teacher's Pet.

It's another glorious morning in the Helperman household. In walks Mary Lou, who has a surprise for the Helpermans' pet cat, Mr. Jolly (David Ogden Stiers). He assumes that she's taking him to the vet and hides in his food bowl. Yes, he's actually able to fit in there. Cartoon physics, everybody.

"I hate Mondays."

The best way I can describe Mary Lou Helperman is that she's Linda from Bob's Burgers done right. I frequently see Linda praised for not being the stereotypical naggy cartoon mom who's much smarter than her husband. Well, Mary Lou ALSO isn't the stereotypical naggy cartoon mom who's much smarter than her husband (in fact, Leonard's father never even shows up). She's ditzy, she's cheery, she's a goof, but she still feels like a functioning member of society whereas Linda is a total moron. When Linda speaks, I often find myself wondering how she's even survived for this long. You don't get that with Mary Lou.

Anyhow, Mary Lou is NOT taking Mr. Jolly to the vet. The surprise is a collar with a bell on it. All the stylish cats are wearing them.

I like that dog clock hanging up on the wall. Where can I get one of those?

"Don't despise me because I'm beautiful!" Mr. Jolly tells the Helperman's surly pet bird, Pretty Boy (Jerry Stiller), after he insults his smell. Alas, the constant ringing of the bell soon gets on Mr. Jolly's nerves. Even the doorbell ringing sends him into a frenzy.

Leonard answers the door, and who should be there but his crush, Leslie (Mae Whitman). She asks if she can borrow a cup of milk. Before Leonard can get her one, he realizes that he's standing in front of her in his pajamas and, like Mr. Jolly, freaks out.

Hey, it could be worse. At least you're not in your underwear.

Spot covers for Leonard while he dashes into his room to put some clothes on. He returns, desperately trying to be cool but I'm sorry, it's really hard to be cool when you're wearing a shirt with pineapples on it. And when your hair is styled to look like a rooster's comb. Unless the "Chicken Run character at a luau" look is what you're going for.

I wonder why Mary Lou has a normal skin tone but her son is as white as a stick of
chalk. Maybe he's just really, REALLY pale?

After Leslie leaves, Spot comments that whatever she smeared on her lips today tasted like lemonade with just a hint of mint. Leonard is still too embarassed by the fact that Leslie saw him in his pajamas. By now, it should be pretty obvious that Leonard is basically the Disney equivalent of Charlie Brown. Complete with him not having a normal dog like everyone else.

Spot's being blue is probably the LEAST strange thing about him.

Later, Leonard and Spot... I'm sorry, Scott Leadready II... arrive at school and see the cool kids hanging out. Scott suggests that they ask them what kind of pajamas THEY wear (it makes sense in context), but Leonard is terrified of even speaking to them. "I just don't know how to hang with those guys, okay? I always feel like, they think I'm the teacher's kid so they don't want to say anything around me, then I don't know what to say, then they ignore me, and I end up feeling like a dork," he laments. Scott urges him to give it a try anyway, and guess what? They wind up talking about Leslie and how shiny her lips are. Leonard tells them that she's wearing pink lemonade lip gloss, which tastes exactly like actual pink lemonade with just a hint of mint. This makes the cool kids very impressed. I guess they really like pink lemonade...

"It's so much cooler than REGULAR lemonade! It's PINK, for Fonzie's sake!"

Now, most of this show's episodes can be summed up as thus: Leonard gets into trouble because of Spot's good intentions. Case in point, Leslie marches up to Leonard while they're in class and demands to know why he claimed that he kissed her on the lips. So now she's mad at him, even after he insists that he never said anything of the sort. Then the other kids in class start spreading a rumor that goes from "Leonard kissed Leslie on the lips" to "Leonard murdered Leslie's pet hippo with paper clips". Scott assures Leonard that it'll blow over by recess... just before Principal Strickler (Wallace Shawn) shows up and drags Leonard to his office.

Between this, A Goofy Movie, and Chicken Little, it seems that Disney really likes
casting Wallace Shawn as the voice of principals.

For the crime of spreading a rumor - the fact that the other kids in his class spread the rumor as well is completely ignored - Leonard is threatened with being expelled and sent to the School For Losers. Scott tries to defend him, but it doesn't seem to be doing any good. Leonard points out that he didn't say that he kissed her, just that her lip gloss tasted like pink lemonade, but Principal Strickler thinks there are only two ways he could know that: one, he kissed her, or two, he uses the same lip gloss. The only way Leonard can prove his innocence, he claims, is by showing up tomorrow with the lip gloss in hand.

Furthering Leonard's embarassment, now the class is talking about how Leonard wears his mom's lip gloss. Scott tells them to stop with the rumor-spreading and gives a big speech about how it hurts people. Back home, Leonard and Scott search for the lipstick in Mary Lou's makeup drawer while Pretty Boy mocks humans for not just secreteing like birds do.

"I was an angry bird before the app made it cool!"

Mary Lou doesn't have pink lemonade lip gloss, and a trip to the drugstore leaves Scott and Leonard empty-handed as well. So they go to the grocery store, where Scott buys a salmon ('cause it's pink), some lemons, vegetable oil (for the gloss), and minty bubble gum. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't most supermarkets have lip gloss in stock? There's usually a whole aisle for body products. Heck, why doesn't Scott just ask Leslie if he can borrow her lip gloss? Seems a lot easier than making it from scratch.

So how does their homemade lip gloss turn out? Well, it does this to Scott's lips...

Disturbing, but still not as disturbing as Mega Babies.

"I guess I'll just have to go to the School For Losers," Leonard groans. But Scott isn't giving up yet. He remembers that Leslie has the very lip gloss they're looking for. So does he go to her house and ask if he can borrow it? No, no, that would be too obvious. Instead, he and Leonard carry a ladder over to her house, allowing Scott to sneak into her room via the window and steal the lip gloss. But Scott can't help taking his sweet time, and he hears the doorknob turning. Uh oh...

Thinking quick, Spot takes off his clothes and just acts like a dog. Leslie is very surprised to see Leonard's dog in her room, but at least he and Leonard aren't in even bigger hot water. As for Mr. Jolly, he's saved from having to hear that infernal ringing when Pretty Boy helps him remove the collar and dumps it in a trash can. But now he thinks it's too quiet, so Pretty Boy has to dig through the trash and find the collar. "Cats! Next time, leave 'em off the ark!" he shouts.

Leslie returns Spot to Leonard and makes it clear that she still hates his guts. On the bright side, Spot managed to grab the lip gloss on their way out, which means that Leonard can prove his innocence. Principal Strickler dubs him cleared, preventing Leonard from being sent to the School For Losers, and that night he tells Spot that he's learned a valuable lesson: NOT to never ever repeat what his dog says again, but to never answer the door again wearing cowboy pajamas. The next day, Leslie apologies to Leonard for everything... and sees Leonard in his firetruck pajama bottoms. But, aside from that, all's well that ends well... until Leslie realizes that her lip gloss is missing. Unless Spot somehow managed to return it to her house before she finds out, she might come to the conclusion that Leonard stole it.

Don't worry, Leonard. You're still not as much of a loser as the Leonard from The
Big Bang Theory.

What's the Verdict?

I wouldn't say this is the BEST episode of Teacher's Pet, but if you're just starting to watch the show, it's a good way to dip your toes in.

There's so much to love about this show. First of all, it's funny. Very, very funny. Most of that obviously stems from the delightfully hammy performances that Nathan Lane, Jerry Stiller, and David Ogden Stiers give, but the writing is incredibly sharp. The animation is well-done, with Gary Baseman's distinctive art style giving the show a unique look and allowing for some out there visuals without being too disgusting or disturbing.

...well, for the most part.

And the characters? Spot could've easily been another Newton, this annoying wacko who frequently causes problems for the kid and gets away with it. But two things help Spot avoid falling into that category. One, he has good intentions, and two, he usually fixes his mistakes. Leonard makes for a nice, sympathetic lead, and the other characters are fun as well (particularly Pretty Boy and Mr. Jolly).

So, yes, I recommend giving Teacher's Pet a watch if you haven't already. Now, whether or not you should watch the MOVIE as well, I don't know. I haven't watched it since 2004. Most of the internet seems to like it, though. Just start with the series, okay?