Let's Watch This - An Episode of "Histeria!"

The 1990s were a great time for the television department of Warner Bros. Animation. Collaborating with studios like Amblin Entertainment and DIC Entertainment, this is the decade where they gave us such beloved shows as Animaniacs, Taz-Mania, and Batman: The Animated Series.

While more often than not the shows that Warner Bros. Animation made were meant to be more humorous than educational (which isn't to say that Animaniacs couldn't be educational, of course), it wasn't until 1998 that they decided to do a show that was intended to be VERY educational. Which isn't to say that this new show wouldn't be comedic, but still...

The result was a show called Histeria!. Created by Tom Ruegger and featuring the voice talents of Warner Bros. alumni Frank Welker, Tress MacNeille, Rob Paulsen and Maurice LaMarche - plus Tom's kids - the show was intended to have at least sixty-five episodes. Alas, the show went over budget, and as a result only fifty-two episodes were created before the show was cancelled in 2000 with only two seasons (the second of which was only six episodes long) and as a result fell into obscurity alongside other Warner Bros. Animation shows like Detention and Road Rovers (which I've already looked at on this blog, remember?).

Before writing this article, I hadn't seen a single episode of this show. But today, we'll be looking at an episode titled "The Wild West". Will it be good? Or will I end up getting HISTERIA (forgive the pun) from it? Let's find out!

After the theme song, the episode begins with Miss Information (Laraine Newman) leading a group of tourists through the wild west. She claims that it was named after a TV show, but Father Time (Frank Welker) corrects her, then introduces the host of the show - Billy the Kid (Luke Ruegger), who's an actual kid. Then the kids start singing a song about Billy, for some reason.

Well, so far, this show hasn't succeeded in making me laugh.

Anyhow, Billy announces that today they're going to play a game called "Jailbreak". He tells the kids that one of them needs to fetch him his gun. Then the show is interrupted by network censor Lydia Karaoke (Nora Dunn), who doesn't approve of a criminal hosting a TV show for kids. Billy says, "I am what I am! A bad man!" If he's a bad man, why does he have the voice of a kid?

I mean, aside from the fact that his name is "Billy the Kid"...
Heck, he even LOOKS like a kid.

Unfunny shenanigans ensue, and then we get a bunch of characters shouting "The Wild West!" Then we see most of those same characters yelling "HISTERIA!" Jeez, there's a whole lot of shouting on this show...

Then we cut to a kid named Froggo (Nathan Ruegger), who dresses like Wakko Warner and sounds like Dr. Claw. He tells us that gold was discovered in 1848 in California. Then we cut to a kid named Loud Kiddington (Cody Ruegger), who shouts "GOLD!" And then we cut to the World's Oldest Woman (Tress MacNeille), who tells us about the gold rush. Then some guy named Horace Greely (Frank Welker, I believe) tells an incredibly stupid kid named Lucky Bob (Jeff Bennett) to go west. And then we cut to the kids singing another song... what the heck is going on?! Every five seconds the show cuts to something different! It makes the entire show feel disjointed.

Oh yeah, and at one point Yakko Warner makes a cameo.

"Keep it down! I'm watchin' a much better Warner Brothers show!"

After that, Billy the Kid talks about how laws in the Wild West were frequently changed, ignored and broken. And then we get a game show called "Indian Givers", hosted by renowned Indian fighter General George Armstrong Custer. And hooray, he's voiced by Rob Paulsen! Rob makes everything better.

The contestants are Sitting Bull, Chief Joseph (Rob Paulsen, I think), and Geronimo (who I think is voiced by Billy West, but I could be wrong). Geronimo gets the first question wrong, Chief Joseph is intended to be a caricature of Sammy Davis Jr. (at least, I think he is) and he gets the next question wrong, and the answer to every question is "Surrender peacefully and let settlers take over your land." Sitting Bull wins, and his prize is for him and his tribe to be driven off to a smaller and less desirable piece of land. And I will admit that the "Are you hot?" "Yes, I'm hot." joke is kinda funny. General Custer then reminds them that in a thousand years or so they'll become rich from casino gambling.

The scene end with General Custer getting attacked by Indians. It's actually pretty satisfying.

I'm just now realizing how much he looks like Cap'n Crunch...

Then we cut back to Father Time, who tells us about the police force of the wild west - the Earp Brothers, played by Loud, Froggo and another kid named Toast (Tress MacNeille). Who promptly burp in unison. Classy, fellas.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand then we immediately cut to something else. Specifically, a talk show hosted by Miss Information. Her first guest is Doc Holiday (Billy West), who talks about the gunfight at the O.K. Corral. Miss Information asks why they had the fight at a corral that she thinks was "only average" (get it?). And then Bugs Bunny shows up (I don't know who does his voice, but it doesn't sound like Billy West... maybe it's an uncredited Greg Burson?).

"What are you doing here?"
"Eh, a rabbit's gotta pay da bills somehow..."

Then Billy the Kid shows up again, telling us that just because he's on the run doesn't mean that he's gonna be shrinking his hosting duties. Yeah, uh, you haven't really been "hosting". You show up here and there, but most of the show has been random sketches hosted by other characters. Billy tells us about the Pony Express, which we then get an ADVERTISEMENT for.

Then we get ANOTHER talk show called "Home on the Range", hosted by Bill Straitman and featuring Buffalo Bill Cody. This is ANOTHER sketch that isn't funny in the slightest.

The show ends with Sheriff Pat (Jeff Bennett) getting the best of Billy the Kid. Billy tells us to join them next time for another "thrill-packed edition" (this was "thrill-packed"?) of... random characters saying "Histeria!"

Including this awesome eagle. Why couldn't HE have been the host of the show?!

I think that it's possible to make learning fun. This, however, is not how you do it. I'm not going to judge the entire show by this episode, but this was not "thrill-packed" in the slightest. There are some good things - Rob Paulsen carries the "Indian Giver" sketch (that man really does make everything better), Bugs Bunny and Yakko Warner making cameo appearances - but most of the episode was disjointed and not funny. It's like drive-by edutainment. Here's one character saying something... and then here's another character saying something... and then here's another character saying something. Animaniacs this ain't.

It really is a shame that a show from Tom Ruegger and featuring the talents of Jeff Bennett, Tress MacNeille and Frank Welker wasn't better. It's not an AWFUL show, but in my opinion there is nothing hysterical about Histeria!.

Let's Watch This - An Episode of "Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends"

Once upon a time, there was a show called Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends. It premiered on Cartoon Network in 2004, and was an immediate success. Millions loved it. Fansites were made. Six seasons were produced. One character even became the mascot of sorts for Cartoon Network.

Remember THESE billboards?

When the show was on, I watched it and found myself liking it. Then the show came to an end. Around... 2014, I think, reruns appeared on Boomerang and I decided to give the show a rewatch.

And I soon discovered that it really didn't hold up.

What's the main problem with the show? I can sum it up in one sentence: IT'S NEEDLESSLY MEAN-SPIRITED. Are you familiar with the trope "Sadist Show"? A "Sadist Show" is when a TV show relies entirely on being needlessly cruel and mean-spirited. Very few episodes end on a positive note, the characters are all unsympathetic jerks, and about ninety-seven percent of the jokes focus on abusing them. Examples of "Sadist Shows" include Family Guy from Season 4 onward, South Park, Robot Chicken, and The Big Bang Theory. Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends is, to put it bluntly, a "Sadist Show". All of the characters are unlikable and it seriously seems as though no one can win.

Don't believe me? Today we'll be watching the episode "Beat With a Shtick". Perhaps a more fitting title for this episode would've been "Everybody Hates Bloo".

The episode begins with Bloo (Keith Ferguson) making the other imaginary friends laugh by doing impressions of them. "YOUR BRAND OF COMEDY ENTERTAINS US!" one imaginary friend (voiced by Tom Kenny doing a bad Indian accent) cheers. He tells a joke about dinosaurs to an imaginary friend who looks like a dinosaur (and who I'm pretty sure is ALSO voiced by Tom Kenny*). Then a very tall imaginary friend simply known as "The New Guy" (Phil LaMarr) comes by and Bloo does that "how's the weather up there?" joke. The New Guy then grabs Bloo and angrily says, "YOU THINK YOU'RE PRETTY FUNNY, HUH?!"

Shouldn't this guy be stomping through the City of Townsville?

"OUTSIDE. THE TWO OF US. 3:30," the New Guy barks (though Bloo says that 4:00 would work better for him). "WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE FUNNY ALL OVER YOUR FACE!" After the new guy leaves, the Indian-accented Tom Kenny-voiced imaginary friend tells others that Bloo and the New Guy are going to face off.

Hey, here's a fun game we could play. It's called "Have a Sip of Water Every Time You Hear a Character Voiced By Tom Kenny or Grey Griffin". Hope you have a very large bottle of water nearby.
Bloo is oddly not too concerned about the New Guy planning to pummel him. Another imaginary friend voiced by Tom Kenny tells Bloo that the new guy is from "Looneytown". Then an imaginary friend voiced by Grey Griffin adds that he was "created by some deranged looney". Bloo rudely tells them that they're boring him and that he's "tough and gritty". "Blooregaurd Q. Kazoo isn't afraid of nobody or nothing!" he insists. Then he sees the New Guy chasing after another imaginary friend and realizes, hey, he's in big trouble.

Long story short, he winds up hiding under the New Guy's bed with Eduardo (Tom Kenny). What's Eduardo doing there? He's apparently hiding from the New Guy as well (so why are you hiding in his ROOM?). "I heard that he once left a guy in stitches!" he says.

He kind of looks like a rejected Muppet, doesn't he?

The New Guy finds Bloo and Eduardo, and Bloo tricks Ed into letting the New Guy beat him up while he makes a run for it. Bloo is such a good friend, isn't he?

Anyhow, Bloo tries to hide in a laundry basket, but then he gets dumped down a laundry chute into the laundry room and winds up in a washing machine. Wilt (Phil LaMarr) lets him out and then Bloo fills him in on what's going on. Wilt - who's intended to be the show's nicest character - goes into a rant about how much he hates "tall jokes" (because Wilt himself is very tall) and how Bloo deserves to be beaten up by the New Guy. Totally in-character, right?

Wilt is having none of your DARING TO BE AFRAID OF BEING BEATEN UP, Bloo.

Bloo's next plan is to destroy every clock in the house - that way, the New Guy will never know when it's 4:00 and Bloo can't get beaten up. Frankie (Grey Griffin) demands to know WHY he's destroying the clocks, and then Madame Foster (Candi Milo) comes in and gleefully tells Frankie that Bloo is going to get beaten up at 4:00. She then has Coco bring in a large clock that counts down to when Bloo gets pummeled. And Bloo can't even smash it with his hammer because it's made out of Plexiglass.

As if Madame Foster wasn't being enough of a donkey's rear end already, she and Coco then calculate Bloo's chances of defeating the New Guy. And she and the other imaginary friends are BETTING ON WHETHER OR NOT BLOO IS BEATEN UP.

Then Eduardo shows up, and he's angry at Bloo for leaving him to get beaten up. And then we get... uh, a random Imagine Spot with Bloo in a pitch-black room, hearing screams from every direction before the New Guy arrives and chases after Bloo with multiple weapons.

So, yeah. A character in a CHILDREN'S TV SHOW spends much of the episode fearing for his life.
You know, for kids!

The Imagine Spot culminates in the New Guy smashing Bloo with a giant hammer. After... THAT, Bloo overhears Mr. Herriman (Tom Kane) ranting about how when he gets his hands on whoever stole his monocle (Bloo stole it earlier), he shall expel them from the house. So he gets the idea to put the monocle in the New Guy's room, which will result in the New Guy getting expelled and Bloo not getting beaten up by the New Guy. No one will ever know!

Alas, Mr. Herriman trips on him and spots him with his monocle, meaning that Bloo's plan has been foiled. Mr. Herriman announces that Bloo shall be expelled from the house... which flies in the face of their agreement with Mac (who hasn't shown up in this episode yet)... that is, if he can prove to Madame Foster that what he did warrants it (which I don't think it does). This gives Bloo an idea - if he's expelled from the house, the New Guy won't be able to beat him up, right? So he brings up another nasty thing he did recently. Specifically, he put hot sauce in everyone's tacos the other night and framed another imaginary friend named Jolly Buttons. "We had him deported," a shocked Mr. Herriman says.

Bloo brings up a bunch of other past misdeeds, then adds that he's getting in a fight this afternoon. With the New Guy. Then Mr. Herriman changes his tune and ALLOWS THE FIGHT TO HAPPEN IN THE HOPES THAT THE NEW GUY WILL DESTROY BLOO.

"Ha ha, you're gonna get beaten up!"

Mr. Herriman continues to be an enormous jerk by pointing out to Bloo that he has an hour and forty minutes left before he gets pummeled. He even lets out an evil chuckle.

Then Mac (Sean Marquette) finally shows up. I would like to take this moment to point out that Mac's voice is A) annoying and B) unfitting for a character that's intended to be eight years old. Anyhow, the New Guy shows up as Bloo is explaining to Mac what's going on and scares the pants off of Mac and Bloo. Mac suggests that Bloo make a run for it, and after he brings up Terrence, Bloo gets an idea. "We're gonna fight fire with fire!" he tells Mac.

Bloo's idea is to have Terrence (Tara Strong) beat up the New Guy. He agrees to it after Bloo says that if he does, Terrence will be allowed to beat up Mac - and also Mac will have to wear this t-shirt that Bloo made.

Comic Sans? Seriously?

And also a baby bonnet. Don't ask.

You know, Bloo being a massive jerk doesn't make the other characters
taking sadistic pleasure in seeing him get beaten up any less awful.

Terrence winds up getting his rear end handed to him by the New Guy, and Bloo decides to take Mac's advice and RUN LIKE HECK. We get a montage of him traveling by taxi, traveling by boat, traveling by plane... and then it turns out he was just imagining it. Long story short, he winds up back at Foster's just in time for his confrontation with the New Guy.

Mr. Herriman literally kicks Bloo outside, where the New Guy is waiting... and it turns out that the New Guy's not gonna beat Bloo up. Instead, he uses the mallet to smash a watermelon, which gets watermelon all over Bloo - making him "blue and red all over". "I told you I was gonna give you something to laugh about!" the New Guy says cheerfully. It's all part of his act - he's a prop comic! All those other guys - Eduardo, Terrence, etc. - he was just practicing his material on them. "I mean, I'm just an amateur, and you're, like, the funniest friend in the whole house!"

So what's Bloo's opinion on the New Guy's act? He thinks it's lame. The New Guy then clobbers him. "That is the best punchline he has delivered all day!" Eduardo quips, and then the episode ends.

Okay, maybe this isn't the worst episode of Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends that I've ever seen, but it's still a pretty big indicator as to what's wrong with the show. The Flash animation is pretty fluid, but that's the only good thing I can say about it. It's just needlessly mean-spirited. All of the characters - with the exception of Mac - in this episode are ungodly unlikable. Even if Bloo's acting like a jerk, and the New Guy wasn't going to harm him, seeing the entire house treat Bloo so crappily just gave the entire episode an necessarily harsh and cold feeling. Maybe I could forgive this if the episode were at least funny, but it isn't.

Now, I know that there are a lot of people that like this show. And if you like it, that's fine. I just don't think the show holds up very well.

* I checked the credits, it's actually Keith Ferguson.

Let's Watch This - An Episode of "Corneil and Bernie"

When I was younger, there was a channel called Nicktoons Network.

Now, technically this channel is still around today, but it's a tad different. It was launched in 2002 as a place for Nickelodeon cartoons - or "Nicktoons", as they're usually called - that weren't airing on the network anymore. It's because of this channel that I was introduced to shows like Rocko's Modern Life, Hey Arnold, and The Angry Beavers. Then at some point in the 2010s, things changed. Now it's pretty much just a channel that shows the same shows as Nickelodeon. It's even aired live-action things at some point. Oh, sure, it IS airing a couple shows at the moment that don't air on Nickelodeon anymore... three of them, to be specific: Back at the Barnyard, the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Sanjay and Craig. That's it. No reruns of The Penguins of Madagascar or The Wild Thornberrys or T.U.F.F. Puppy or anything like that anymore.

But hey, at least we have TeenNick's NickRewind block (or as it used to be called, NickSplat, or as it was called before that, The Splat, or as it was called before THAT, The 90s Are All That)! Even if it, as of writing, now only airs three shows. Hopefully that changes at some point.

In addition to the reruns, Nicktoons also, in its heyday, aired some original content - some made for the network, others acquired programming. For example, it introduced us Americans to Kappa Mikey, The Secret Show, Edgar and Ellen, Martin Mystery, Shuriken School, Kaput and Zosky, and the show we'll be looking at today: Corneil and Bernie.

What, exactly, is Corneil and Bernie? Well, it's a French cartoon also known as Watch My Chops (whatever that means) about a dog named Corneil much smarter than most people. He can talk, read, write, and surf the internet. Meanwhile, Bernie is a moron who finds out that Corneil can talk - but Corneil is afraid to let anyone ELSE know that he can talk, so Bernie is entrusted to keep his secret. Between 2003 and 2006, two seasons were produced, then in 2014 the show came back with new episodes, but I'm not sure if those episodes ever aired in the United States.

I remember watching at least one episode of the show when it was on Nicktoons, but that was years ago. Does the show still hold up? Let's watch an episode and find out!

Specifically, we'll be watching the episode "Jungle Panic".

Oh, my mistake... it's actually "JungLe PaniC"...

After the theme song, we discover that "Jungle Panic" is, in addition to being the name of the episode, a game show that Bernie likes to watch. There's just one rule - survive for a week on a tropical island. Bernie wants to be on the show, but he's apparently too stupid to write an application himself, so he asks Corneil to do it. This causes Corneil to, uh, have flashbacks to the Titanic... oh-kaaaaaaaaaay.

But then Bernie mentions that he'll be on the show for a whole week. A whole week without this idiot around to drive Corneil nuts sounds good, so Corneil changes his tune and writes up that application.

Why does Corneil's couch look like a giant purple nacho?

After mailing the application, Bernie gets a call from the guy that runs Jungle Panic, who says that he can be on the show - but on one condition. Corneil has to come too. For some reason. "You're so lucky I sent in a copy of this picture!" Bernie exclaims, holding up a picture of them.

I'm just now realizing how much Corneil looks like Odie from Garfield...

"Bernie, there's no way that I'm leaving this apartment for some bug-infested jungle without water or electricity!" Corneil snaps. He's not changing his mind. "No" means "no".

Alas, the Gilligan Cut does its thing and we then see Corneil and Bernie about to board the ship that'll take them to the island. They bid a fond farewell to Bernie's... parents, I think? Anyway, they bid a fond farewell to them and head off on the boat despite how much Corneil doesn't want to. On the island, they are given a speech from some army general wannabe guy. "If there is a problem, set off your distress player and we'll come and get you! BUT, you'll be out of the game!" he barks. "Good luck."

Blue-Haired Idiot is all "Isn't this cool?!", then Corneil notices a camera hidden in a tree. In fact, there are MULTIPLE cameras scattered around the island. "The whole world could discover my secret at any moment!" the dog exclaims. But because Bernie is an idiot, he still refuses to give up and let them go home.

Unlike the other contestants, Bernie doesn't seem to give a rat's tail about building a shelter or finding food or whatever. Fortunately, Corneil has an idea - he'll simply drive the other two contestants off the island, meaning that Bernie will win and they can go home. It's GENIUS!

He manages to freak out one contestant with their distress flare, then lets the other contestant hear him talk and convince him that he's gone insane.

I love the pose and expression on this guy here.

Meanwhile, Corneil's idiot owner is hungry. He sees a bird (not sure what kind... it's hard to tell with this art style) and chases after it.

I'd probably run like heck too if this guy were chasing after me.

Okay, so as it turns out, Corneil's plan wasn't to get rid of the other contestants so that Bernie could win... it was to get rid of them, then tell Bernie that the island is dangerous and that they should leave now. But Bernie refuses - they came there to win, and that's what he's gonna do. "So THAT'S your survival plan?!" Corneil demands. "YOU CAN'T EVEN WRITE A LETTER WITHOUT ME, SO HOW DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO SURVIVE IN A JUNGLE?!"

"YOU THINK YOU CAN GET ALONG BETTER WITHOUT ME, DO YA?!" Bernie replies. "ALL RIGHT, CORNEIL... FROM NOW ON, IT'S EVERY MAN... OR DOG... FOR HIMSELF!" Corneil is just fine with that. As am I. He'll likely do better without this moron around.

Then it starts raining, because of course it does.

Day 2 of Jungle Panic and Bernie is putting all of his energy into winning. "But Bernie is going to have to overcome some daunting challenges if he's going to win!" the host announces. For example, building a hut... which he fails at. And making a fire... which he attempts to do in the rain. Ice Age did this joke better. Just saying.

Now let's see how Corneil is doing...

Pretty darn well, I'd say.

Bernie goes begging Corneil for help. Corneil wants to make a deal with him - all Bernie has to do is set off his distress flare and he can have some of Corneil's food. Bernie agrees, but the distress flare winds up going out of control, destroying a camera and Corneil's burrow. Fish Lips is more concerned that now he can't have any of Corneil's food.

Bernie admits that Corneil was right and that he can't do it on his own. Corneil says that he'll help Bernie, but first they have to get rid of the cameras... which they accomplish by pelting mud at them.

Look at the clashing art styles... Corneil looks like he was designed by Bob Kurtz (I think it's mainly the eyes) and Bernie looks like he came from a Klasky-Csupo cartoon.

The guy who runs Jungle Panic sends paramedics to the island, where they discover Corneil and Bernie with a small cabin and a windmill.

And a strangely-colored palm tree, too.

One of the paramedics tells Bernie that a crew will be coming to fix the cameras. After they leave, Corneil becomes angry - he and Bernie agreed that they would go back on the first boat. But Bernie is, as we've established before, an idiot and STILL wants to win. And just to add insult to injury, the mud on one camera has dried up and comes off, zooming in on Bernie just as he's talking to Corneil about how he can talk and no one is watching them and how he built the cabin.

Seeing this on TV, Bernie's... again, I think that's his dad but I could be wrong... calls up Jungle Panic and informs them that Bernie's now as mad as a March Hare and begs them to do something. Soon Corneil is in a raft that's about to head off for home, watching two crew members drag Bernie onto the raft protesting that he's not crazy. The end.

This is another show that I'm gonna put in the "okay" category. I like Corneil. Bernie can get kind of annoying, but I can stomach him for the most part. The show isn't a laugh riot, but it IS kind of funny. There isn't much I can say about it aside from "it's okay".

NOTE: After watching the episode, I did some research and found out that those two aren't Bernie's parents, nor is Corneil Bernie's dog. They're Corneil's owners, and Bernie is merely his pet-sitter.

P.S. I still don't know what "Watch My Chops" means.