Let's Watch This - "Mad Monster Party?" (1967)

We're having an infestation, everyone. Ghosts, goblins, monsters, vampires, witches, werewolves, zombies, and other strange and spooky characters are popping up in our neighborhoods, stores, and restaurants. This can only mean one thing - that Halloween is on its way.

I'll be honest with you, I've never been much of a Halloween fan. I haven't gone trick-or-treating in years, so the whole "getting free candy" aspect of the holiday goes out the window, and that was a large chunk of the holiday's appeal to me. I'm a cowardly fella - I don't like being scared - so a holiday dedicated to getting scared just doesn't feel like my kind of holiday. But there are some good things that come with Halloween, one of them being that the TV networks start airing movies and TV specials about Halloween, or at least about Halloween-y things like ghosts and/or monsters. You know, stuff like It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and The Nightmare Before Christmas and the Hotel Transylvania movies.

Much like with Christmas TV specials, there are a lot of obscure Halloween TV specials out there. For example, there's this...

And there's this...

And this (yes, there's a Shrek production that qualifies as "obscure")…

As far as Halloween MOVIES go... animated ones, I mean (since this is an animation-focused blog)... well, I already mentioned The Nightmare Before Christmas, which isn't obscure... there's also Coraline, but that's not really obscure either... I suppose ParaNorman and Frankenweenie might count as obscure, but I could be wrong... how about Corpse Bride? Does that qualify as obscure? Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit? Monster House is pretty obscure, right? I suppose Igor and that recent Addams Family movie could qualify as well?

Gosh, there's actually a LOT of obscure animated Halloween movies. I'll have to keep these in mind for future reviews I post on this blog around Halloween. But for now, let's talk about Mad Monster Party?.

This was the creation of none other than Rankin-Bass Productions, the guys behind such beloved Christmas specials as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman. It was released in 1967... specifically, MARCH 1967 (which was a good few months before Halloween, but eh, Coraline was released in February so...), distributed by Embassy Pictures, and featured the voices of Boris Karloff, Phyllis Diller, Gale Garnett, and Allen Swift. It's described on Wikipedia as "a spoof of horror themes, complete with musical numbers and inside jokes". Today, it's one of Rankin-Bass' lesser-known productions. And we're here to look at it today!

So, let's get started. This is Mad Monster Party?.

The movie begins with the camera zooming in on an island that I believe King Kong once took residence in on a dark, foggy night. Eventually, we arrive at a castle where a creepy dude in a lab coat is hard at work on some type of potion. This is Baron Boris Von Frankenstein (voiced by Boris Karloff - fitting that a Dr. Frankenstein-esque mad scientist is voiced by one of the first actors to play Frankenstein's Monster).

I think even the Swedish Chef would be jealous of those
eyebrows.

Boris tests the potion on a nearby raven, causing it to explode. And if blowing up a bird isn't animal cruelty, then I don't know WHAT is. "I've done it. Created the means to destroy matter!" Boris tells the audience. "They must all know... know that I, Baron Von Frankenstein, master of the secret of creation, have now mastered the secret of destruction! The invitations must be sent at once!"

He walks over to a cabinet where he has some bats, who he plans on having deliver the invitations a la Hogwarts' owls. He tells his monster - who, natch, is big and green-skinned - that they're going to have themselves a mad monster party. So as the credits roll, we see the bats flying around delivering invitations to all of cinema's most popular monsters... Dracula, the Mummy, the Wolfman, the Invisible Man, Dr. Jekyll (or rather his monster form, Mr. Hyde), the Creature From the Black Lagoon, even a pre-Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Wouldn't twisting your neck like that HURT?

Then we cut to this guy. You might remember him from that classic horror film, Attack of the Glasses-Wearing Soda Clerk.

You ever notice that in cartoons, male characters with glasses
almost always have reddish-brown hair?

This is Felix Flanken (voiced by Allen Swift). He works at a drugstore run by a grouchy old dude named Mr. Cronkite (also Allen Swift) - no relation to Walter. He, too, gets an invitation to Baron Von Frankenstein's big shindig, but Mr. Cronkite is reluctant to give him that week off. However, after discovering that Felix has very powerful sneezes, which combined with his clumsiness makes a mess of things at his store, he relents.

He kind of reminds me of the Head Elf from Rudolph the
Red-Nosed Reindeer.

You know, the big one with the goatee who says, "WHY
WEREN'T YOU AT ELF PRACTICE?!"

Back at the Baron's castle, we see his monster again. His name as Fang, and at the moment he's being chewed out by his mate (Phyllis Diller). She's basically the precursor to every other "nagging wife" character from every other sitcom from the last fifty years.

She's even got Frankie Heck's hairdo.

His mate starts singing a song for some reason. I guess they just thought they were obligated to give Phyllis Diller a song. After the song, we cut to the Baron receiving mail from this woman who apparently works for him... or maybe she's his daughter or something, I don't know. She's a proto-Jessica Rabbit.

"I'm not bad... I'm just sculpted that way..."

Proto-Jessica Rabbit (voiced by Gale Garnett) tells the Baron that there's only one monster who they haven't received a reply from - a monster known as "It". Who is "It"? Well, it's possible that they're talking about this guy:

Actually, the Baron says that "It" wasn't even invited. He's not much fun at mad monster parties. On the contrary, he's quite destructive. They've also got a letter from Felix (remember him?) - though apparently he doesn't quite know what he's getting into and thinks he's getting a vacation at a beach resort. Von Frankenstein tells the redhead (and us) that Felix is his nephew. He's been invited so that Von Frankenstein can teach him the ways of the mad scientist and then quit the business.

Suddenly, the world's most disturbing cuckoo clock goes off...

Where did he get that clock from, Beetlejuice?!

And the redhead says that she won't just LIKE Felix - she'll love him to pieces. Whatever THAT means.

Then we cut to a sea captain (Allen Swift) and his first mate (Allen Swift - are you noticing a pattern here?) trying to make sense of their role in the plot - to get all of those monsters to Hotel Transylvania... err, I mean, the Baron's castle, which is apparently located on the "Isle of Evil". Sounds like a charming place, doesn't it? Bet they don't get a lot of visitors there.

"Look, ca'pn, it's a rejected Muppet."

After Quasimodo arrives, they're approached by Dracula (Allen Swift), who looks very similar to Count Von Count from Sesame Street. Aside from the green skin, they're practically twins.

"TWO! That's TWO characters in this film that look like
Muppets! Ah, ah, ah!"

Then Felix shows up. Amusingly, after their encounter with Dracula, the captain and his first mate are intimidated by Felix after he says that he's going to the Isle of Evil as well. The Werewolf is also able to climb aboard just before the ship sets sail. Once the ship is at sea, we get a gag where Felix drops his glasses - and since he can't see without them, he winds up encountering the Wolfman and the Invisible Man without realizing that they're monsters.

Much of the next few minutes consists of wacky antics involving the monsters, and the first mate about to wet himself upon seeing them. Felix runs into Dr. Jekyll (Allen Swift)… whose Mr. Hyde form ALSO looks like a rejected Muppet.

Then again, a lot of Rankin-Bass characters do have sort of a
Muppet-y look to them, so...

At midnight, the monsters all sneak off the ship and head for the Isle of Evil. Dracula refers to himself as "the original Batman"... kinda surprised that joke hasn't been done elsewhere. Seems kind of obvious.

Back at the Baron's place, he's giving orders to his army of zombies, all of whom are dressed in spiffy bellhop outfits. The Hotel Transylvania comparisons just keep making themselves, don't they?

In fact, do you think Genndy Tartakovsky watched this film
for inspiration?

One of the zombies is named Yetch (Allen Swift), and he looks and sounds like Peter Lorre. He also has the ability to talk without moving his lips. And he's hot for the redhead, whose name is revealed to be Francesca.

"Helloooooooooooooooooooooooo, nurse!"

The zombies' job is to patrol the island in old-fashioned flying machines, just in case "It" shows up. "You really think that 'It' would dare to come here uninvited?" Francesca asks the Baron. "I don't know. 'It' is capable of anything," Von Frankenstein tells her.

Soon all of the monsters are showing up in the castle. First Dracula swoops in. Then the Wolfman... or rather, the Werewolf, as Von Frankenstein tells him. Then the Invisible Man (Allen Swift). Then the Mummy and Quasimodo. Then Dr. Jekyll, who upon arriving becomes Mr. Hyde. Then the Creature From the Black Lagoon. What, no Purple People Eater?

What kind of monster is that supposed to be?

Yetch drops by the kitchen to check on how dinner's coming along. First, the cook (Allen Swift) has whipped up a poisonous salad, then move on to appetizers - lizards and spiders and things like that, moving on to octopus soup (with a live octopus in the pot), and for the main course? Boar's head, roast vulture, and minced hyena casserole (surprisingly, they don't make a "it tastes funny" joke).

Once everyone's seated at the dinner table, Von Frankenstein introduces his matter-destroying formula. Francesca wants to make the doctor's secrets HERS before he bestows them on Felix... with Dracula's help. Too bad the monster's mate hears her inner monologue telling us that.

After Mad Monster Party?, both of these characters went on
to star in episodes of Scooby-Doo.

Dracula and Fang's mate both start making plans to become Von Frankenstein's successor themselves, then we're treated to the swingin' sound of a Beatles-esque skeleton band.

Didn't these guys also appear in Corpse Bride?

Francesca and Dracula sneak out to the balcony so Francesca can fill him in on her plan to take care of this Felix fella. Apparently he didn't hear her inner monologue from before. Little do they know that Fang's mate is eavesdropping. Oh, and then we get another musical number.

After the song, Francesca and Fang's mate tear off each other's dresses (this was supposed to be a kids' movie, right?) and have a CAT FIGHT. I'm not making that up. They have a cat fight. With cat noises and everything. Meanwhile, Fang deals with Dracula, but then the Werewolf gets involved, resulting in WHACKY SHENANIGANS!

We haven't had a screencap of the Creature From the Black
Lagoon yet, so here's one now.

Soon everyone's asleep, and we get some more quick gags. The Creature From the Black Lagoon squirts water out of his mouth onto Dr. Jekyll as he snoozes. The Invisible Man is woken up by the Werewolf's howling.

Remember to wear a mask, folks!

Meanwhile, Felix finally arrives at the Isle of Evil, where he is greeted by Von Frankenstein and Francesca. They take him to the castle, then Francesca meets up with Dracula so they can start making plans.

Step One is for Francesca to take Felix on a "picnic tour". Step Two is for the Werewolf to scare Felix off... but it doesn't work (Felix has a way with pets). Then the Mummy tries to grab him, but that fails too. Then Dracula makes the attempt to swing down and bite him... and fails. Repeatedly. Felix, by the way, still hasn't caught on to the whole "surrounded by monsters" thing.

Afterwards, Von Frankenstein shows Felix his laboratory and tells him that he'll be taking his place as the head of the "Worldwide Organization of Monsters" (or W.O.O.M. for short). Then Von Frankenstein summons some... imps? Demons? I don't know what they are, but they start up another musical number.

"I don't think I'm cut out for the role of mad scientist, Uncle...
science was my worst subject in school."

"I would like to think it over," Felix admits after the song. He decides to go fishing, since he does his best thinking while he's fishing. As for Francesca, she's chewing out Dracula for failing to take out Felix. Oh, and then she finds out that Dracula plans on double-crossing her with Frank and his mate. "We can't let her go, babies! She'll go straight to Dr. Frankenstein!" the mate says as she, Fang, and Dracula corner Francesca, only for her to escape via a trapdoor.

Francesca plots to get her revenge on those meddling monsters. She writes a note, then channels the Wicked Witch of the West and sends out a bat with it.

Meanwhile, Felix is fishing. "Gosh..." he says, "Felix Flanken, chairman of the Board of Monsters Incorporated." Wait, MONSTERS INCORPORATED?

Could this have actually been another prequel to Monsters Inc.?!

Anyhow, Felix still doesn't want to take over for his uncle. Fang, his mate, and Dracula follow Francesca down the trapdoor. She holds them off with wolfsbane and a torch.

"People might forget about YOU characters after this movie,
but I'LL live on! People will draw inappropriate pictures of me
and post them on DeviantArt! It'll be disgusting, but at least I'll
be remembered!"

She escapes them again, but she still has to deal with crocodiles in the lagoon... which honestly look more like giant rubber bath toys. Fortunately for her, she's saved by Felix. Fang's mate makes Painfully Unfunny Wisecrack Then Laughing At Her Own Joke Number Seventeen (I didn't bring that up before, but she does that A LOT). She suggests gathering the monsters together and having them gang up on Francesca and Felix.

Francesca blames Felix for everything that went wrong, but then immediately falls in love with him. We get another song, then Francesca tells Felix that they have to get off the island before the monsters find them.

"Are we monsters, or are we mice?!"
"I like cheese..."

Dracula enlists the help of the other monsters to take care of Felix (though Yetch takes some convincing), and they all head off to find him and Francesca... who, at the moment, have run afoul of a Venus Flytrap.

"FEED ME, FELIX!"

Felix defeats the Venus Flytrap with vitamin pills, but the other monsters are catching up. The Werewolf manages to grab Francesca, then Dracula, Fang, the Creature From the Black Lagoon, and Quasimodo surround him. Fortunately, Felix discovers the matter-destroying potion in his pocket. Unfortunately, guess who finally shows up?

Donkey Kong, is that you?!

This, ladies and gentlemen, is "It" - he's a King Kong parody. He scares off the other monsters, then heads to the castle so he can get revenge on the Baron for not inviting him to his mad monster party. But once he arrives, he spots a framed photo of Francesca and falls for her. All giant gorillas have a thing for human women, apparently.

Must be because there aren't that many female giant gorillas
around. In fact, I think ALL giant gorillas in movies are male.

Whatever happened to the Baron, anyhow? We haven't seen him for a good chunk of the movie now.

Meanwhile, Yetch and the Werewolf have tied up Francesca, and Yetch seizes the opportunity to finally plant a wet one on the redhead's lips. But "It" is all "THAT'S NOT OKAY!" and sends the little sleaze flying. Then the ape grabs Francesca and carries her off just as Felix arrives. Felix is so bummed that he wasn't able to save her that he decides to - I am not kidding here - commit suicide. Fortunately, then the Baron finally shows up and tells Felix not to do it... to which Felix says that he only said that because he didn't think anyone could hear him. The Baron tells Felix to make a run for the boat, because he has a plan to save Francesca.

Now "It" has Francesca in one hand and all the other monsters in the other. The Baron and his zombie bellhops fly to the rescue in their flying machines, just in case you didn't get that this was supposed to be a parody of King Kong. The Baron gets "It" to put Francesca down, allowing her and Felix to escape in a boat. Now that they're safe, the Baron chews out "It" and the other monsters for all the trouble they've caused and blows them, and the Isle of Evil, up. Alas, this means the Baron gets blown up as well. Too bad, he was the best character in the movie.

Looks like the Baron's going out with a BANG.

Get it? BANG? Because... yeah, okay.

Smoke and fireworks clear the air, and Francesca reveals to Felix that they can't get married because she's not a human being. She's a robot.

Felix reassures her that "None of us are perfect." Then he starts repeating himself in a mechanical fashion accompanied by robot-esque noises. Soooooooooo... he was a robot the whole time, too? Is he just acting like one to let Francesca know that he still loves her even if she's no more human than C-3PO? Was this not a prequel to Monsters Inc. as I initially suspected but rather A.I.: Artificial Intelligence or something like that? Why is there a question mark at the end of this movie's title? Will we ever get an answer to any of these questions?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say "No".

Mad Monster Party? is certainly one of Rankin-Bass' more out-of-the-box productions. Quite a film it is, with a delightfully macabre atmosphere that would make even Tim Burton proud. Boris Karloff is great as the Baron, and major props towards Allen Swift for voicing almost every other character. I wouldn't put it on par with their more popular Christmas specials, but it's certainly worth watching at least once. Dunno why it doesn't get aired on TV around Halloween, surely Freeform could find a place for it in their "31 Nights of Halloween" lineup...

So, that's three movie reviews in a row. Next time, I'll do a review of a show to make things less monotonous.

Let's Watch This: "Zambezia" (2012)

What if I told you that there was a movie that featured Koda from Brother Bear, the Dude, Mr. Spock, Frozone, Flo from Cars, Winnie the Pooh, Ludwig Von Drake and Babs Bunny - among others - in its cast? Well, such a movie exists. And it's called Zambezia.

Zambezia was made by Triggerfish Animation Studios, who was also responsible for another movie that I plan on reviewing at some point, Khumba. At first glance, you might assume that it's just yet another Rio mockbuster. But it actually has very few similarities aside from the fact that its main character is a blue bird. Is it as good as Rio? No. But is it still a good movie? Let's find out!

The movie begins not by introducing the characters and setting up the storyline but rather by plunging us right into the action without warning. We see a stork with another bird and some eggs on her back being pursued by marabou storks. The stork promises the other bird that she'll get them to Zambezia, and then...

We suddenly cut to this, accompanied by soothing African music.

Talk about Mood Whiplash...

We see a blue falcon named Kai (voiced by Jeremy Suarez) flying around a herd of giraffes. He winds up flying into one's rear end (which is a pretty cringe-worthy joke). His dad (Samuel L. Jackson) comments that his landing wasn't very good, to which Kai says, "You can't just shout things at me while I'm in the zone!" His dad says, "Is that the TWILIGHT Zone?"

Don't ask me how a bird in Africa knows about The Twilight Zone.

So, apparently the dad falcon is training Kai to be a great flyer or whatever. However, Kai is kind of a show-off and doesn't take the training too seriously.

Samuel L. Jackson Bird is not having any of your bullcrap.

The dad falcon tells Kai that someday, he's gonna have to look after himself because no one else will be there... oh, great, they're gonna pull a Delhi Safari and bump off the dad, aren't they? Kai complains that he's never set talon outside the boundary. The dad falcon says that there's no reason to, they've already got everything that they need to survive.

After the dad falcon flies off, the stork from before (voiced by Jennifer Lewis) makes a clumsy landing in the falcons' nest. She and the other bird (voiced by Tania Gunadi) explain that they are on a mission to save the babies from thieving bandits like those marabou storks. They're going to Zambezia. "There's no safer place in all of Africa!" the other bird exclaims. I initially thought the eggs that they had were the other bird's, but actually they're ducklings.

Kai tells them that they can spend the night, and then we cut to the dad falcon talking to a feather that I guess is from his mate. He's telling the feather that his son wants to head out there and see other birds. He's a free spirit, just like his mate. He flies off, and then we cut to the stork singing for some reason. She refers to the ducklings as "future Hurricanes" - the "Hurricanes" apparently control the skies, keeping Zambezia safe. Kai thinks that being a Hurricane would be awesome. "Can anybody go to Zambezia?" he asks the stork. The Jennifer Lewis stork says yes, yes they can. All birds are welcome there, except for those scoundrels the marabou storks... who just so happen to show up.

"Hi, we're the marabou storks! We're kind of like the Hyenas from The Lion
King, except not as cool."

One of the marabous speaks with a British accent, and the other acts... well, a wild animal. The British marabou (voiced by Richard E. Grant) is all, "We want what's in the basket!" and the Jennifer Lewis stork is all "Oh HECK no!" She and Kai fight the marabous, and then the dad falcon shows up. Long story short, the British marabou stork's brother winds up falling out of the nest, and despite the father falcon trying to save him winds up landing in the river. The British marabou is horrified and blames the father falcon, exclaiming "You raptors are all the same! Just HUNGRY! We ALL are! As if we marabous don't suffer enough!" Ah, so we're going for a "sympathetic antagonist" sort of thing for the marabous, eh? I wasn't expecting that. Major props.

The British marabou flies off yelling about how the father falcon will "pay for this", and it turns out that the Jennifer Lewis stork knows the father falcon. The father falcon dubs her and the other bird (remember her?) "strangers", and they get offended and leave.

We haven't had a screencap of Kai yet, so here's one now.

Kai asks his dad if he knew about this Zambezia place. "All these years and you've never told me?" he demands. The father falcon claims that he has his reasons... mainly, doing what's best for Kai. Kai is all, "That's bullcrap! I've got no life here! We should ditch this place and go to Zambezia!" Father falcon snaps, "Let me tell you how it works in Zambezia! The strong, like us, protect the weak! And who suffers in the end? WE DO! Trust me, you don't know what you're talking about..." Kai replies, "Yeah, well, I'll tell you what I DO know! That there's more to life than YOU, and your FENCES and your BOUNDARY! There's a whole world outside of here, too!"

The dad falcon says that he'll never go back to Zambezia. Kai is all, "Well, you can go suck an egg because I'm going there!" and flies off. He winds up hitching a flight with some Indian-accented storks. That night, the dad falcon decides to go after him. Meanwhile, the British marabou stork is still bummed out what happened to his brother. His fourth-cousin once-removed tries to cheer him up, and then the film's villain arrives.

He's a big monitor lizard named Budzo, voiced by Jim Cummings. The father falcon just so happens to be flying by, and upon spotting Budzo decides to do a little eavesdropping. Budzo is pulling a Scar and using the marabous' hunger to his advantage. He's all, "How is it fair that you guys are scavengers while the birds in Zambezia eat like kings?!"

"Stick with me, and you'll never go hungry again!"

"Think of all you have been denied for so long..." the big lizard snarls. "Good food, good nest. It's time for you to take the empire for yourself... to rule Zambezia!" Have I ever mentioned how awesome Jim Cummings is?

The British stork - his name is Cecil, by the way - likes the sound of Budzo's offer, but his fourth-cousin is more apprehensive. "I'll just take my cut a small share of the spoils..." Budzo says. "After all, how many eggs can a lizard eat? Get all the Marabous together. You tell them they'll be working nights."

Then Budzo attacks the dad falcon, though I don't know how he found out he was there. It turns out that the dad falcon's name is Tendai, and the scene cuts to black just as the lizard has him cornered...

And then we cut to Kai with the storks. I guess we're gonna have to wait and see what happened with Tendai and Budzo.

"I believe I can fly..."

They arrive in Zambezia, which as it turns out isn't so much a city as it is a big tree with a bunch of birds' nests in it. The Jennifer Lewis stork just so happens to be arriving at the same time, and her landings haven't gotten any better.

There's also a parrot that sounds like Hermes from Futurama.

After Kai makes his way around Zambezia encountering other birds, we cut to another Zambezia resident - an African fish-eagle named Chief Sekhuru (this movie's really going to town on the African bird species, isn't it? Where else have you seen an African fish eagle in an animated movie?) and his daughter Zoe (voiced by Leonard Nimoy and Abigail Breslin respectively). They're informed that a newcomer has arrived, which intrigues Sekhuru as it's been a while since they've had a falcon in Zambezia. Zoe says that he's probably here for the Hurricane tryouts tomorrow... not that she wants to be a Hurricane, of course. Then the Jennifer Lewis stork comes in and is all, "I bet you'll never guess who I just saw!" "Is it Tendai?" Sekhuru asks. How does he know? Because his son just arrived. How does he know that the new falcon is Tendai's son? I have no idea. "Young Kai may be here looking for some answers..." says Sekhuru. I think I'm going to like this Sekhuru guy. He's got sort of a Master Oogway-ish vibe to him.

Oh, and spoiler alert: Zoe is for all intents and purposes Kai's love interest.

Kai, meanwhile, finds himself sharing a nest with several other birds. I'm pretty sure one of them is voiced by Tom Kenny.

"I'm surrounded by idiots..."

The next morning, Kai is woken up by a bird named Ezee (Jamal Mixon), who tells him that he's taking him on a tour of Zambezia. "Time to meet the town... the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZEE WAY!" he announces. After a montage, Kai meets Zoe, who upon learning that Kai has befriended Ezee snaps, "Just what we need. Another Ezee!" Kai finds himself the object of affection of two stereotypical valley girl birds, but he's not interested - he has the hots for Zoe. Then he finally sees these Hurricanes that we've heard so much about.

There are so many screencaps in this film that could totally be memes...

Ah yes, and Ezee tells Kai that in Zambezia, they don't say "amazing", they say "Ah-mah-ZING!"

Uh, okay...

Now let's cut back to the Marabous. Cecil is giving a speech to his fellow storks: "When those Zambezians flocked together, they created an INSIDE and an OUTSIDE! And if you haven't noticed, WE are on the OUTSIDE! The cold, lonely, desolate OUTSIDE! And why?! Because they didn't like the look of us!" I gotta admit, he's got a point. However, the Marabous aren't fully convinced that they should team up with Budzo. "Since when are Marabous servants to a lizard?" one of them asks. Cecil says that they'll be working WITH Budzo, not FOR him. Another Marabou asks, "Could those Hurricanes be a problem?" I have a question too: why are all the Marabous British?

The Marabous start beating each other up, and then we cut back to Kai and Ezee. Kai finds out that Hurricane Tryouts are today. The leader of the Hurricanes, a big lammergeier (look it up) voiced by Jeff Goldblum, tells him that he's not on his list and that there can be no new entrees after the tryouts begin... but then realizes that he's actually right on time and tells him that he can try out.

How does a bird grow a mustache?

Actually, IS that a mustache? It looks like it could just be overly-long nose hair,
what with it sticking out of his nostril and all...

Kai has difficulty during the tryout (by the way, did I mention that like in Delhi Safari there are a lot of slow-motion shots in this movie?) but winds up making the cut... as a trainee. "It's gonna take more than a little race to become a full member of the most elite flying force in the world!" the Jeff Goldblum bird barks. "I got my eye on you, hot-rod..."

Meanwhile, we FINALLY cut back to Tendai. He's still alive, but he's in a cage. He tells Budzo that he's not a threat to him, but Budzo disagrees: "There is still some fight left in you. I can see it, even if you can not. Which is good. You need it," the lizard says. "You are going to be a great use..."

"Now, this is where the pigs have hidden all of our eggs. We're going to launch
ourselves out of a giant slingshot at them until they agree to give the eggs back."

"Why are we launching ourselves out of a giant slingshot?"

"Because shut up, THAT'S why!"

Back with Kai, he and the Hurricanes head out patroling for Marabou. They come across a lovebird (Tress MacNeille), who tells them that her mate Neville has floated down the river. Rescue mission time! Kai saves Neville (Corey Burton), impressing the Hurricanes. Ezee then shows up and acts incredibly annoying.

"I'm the film's comic relief character! Ergo I'm going to be either the best part of the
film or incredibly annoying! And guess which one I am!"

Then it's time for Zambezia's Annual Spring Celebration, where the birds celebrate future generations of Zambezia. Alas, the Marabous attack, kidnapping some birds and bringing them to Budzo so he can threaten to eat Tendai unless the captured birds let him onto the island. How much are you willing to bet that after they do he's going to eat Tendai anyway?

Sekhuru tells the other Zambezians that he never thought the Marabous were capable of such devious acts. "Maybe there's a bigger plan here..." he suggests.

Hey, ANOTHER screencap that could be a potential meme!

The Jeff Goldblum bird gives Kai the job of clean-up duty before he and the Hurricanes head out to save the kidnapped birds. Kai meets up with Ezee, who's ticked-off because earlier Kai didn't stick up for him when he was getting pushed around by the Jeff Goldblum bird, but all Kai has to do is give him free food and all is forgiven.

"No, I do NOT look like Owl from Winnie the Pooh during his awkward teen
years!"

Then Kai comes up with a plan - to sneak out at night (Ezee has night vision) to save the kidnapped birds. While they're flying off, they run into Zoe, who tries very hard to deny that she wants to be a Hurricane. Eventually, they're able to find the Marabous and do a little eavesdropping of their own.

Cecil's fourth-cousin asks him if they can trust Budzo. Cecil replies, "I've come too far to turn back now!" Zoe suggests that they call the Hurricanes, but Kai wants to go in there and defeat those evil Marabous himself. Ezee then gets attacked by something and faints. Zoe decides to fly off and get help, leaving Kai to wait with Ezee.

Then we cut back to Tendai in the cage, watching the kidnapped birds being forced to build some sort of grass structure.

They're pretty good at building for an animal that doesn't have fingers...

Tendai tells the Tania Gunadi bird to fly out as soon as she gets the chance, leaving him there. Tania Gunadi bird says, "That's not how we do things where I come from - where YOU come from! We'll figure out a way to escape. All of us!"

Budzo comes in and tells Cecil and his fourth-cousin that he has a "special job" for them. Then Tania Gunadi tells Tendai that Kai and the rest of the Hurricanes are out looking for them. In response, Tendai asks, "My son... a Hurricane?"

We then get a Gilligan Cut to the Jeff Goldblum bird telling Kai that he will never be a Hurricane. "Since you clearly have no concept of what a team is, you can not be part of ours!" he says. He's so angry that he's not even going to listen to what Kai has to say.

Somebody get this bird an electric nose hair trimmer.

Cecil and his fourth-cousin invade, but Kai either doesn't realize it or doesn't care because he's too busy checking up on Ezee and getting into an argument with Zoe to do anything about it. He's so down about what happened, in fact, that he's planning on leaving Zambezia. The Jennifer Lewis stork tells him that he can't go, Zambezia needs him, but Kai just says, "Zambezia and me don't mix. My dad was right, I never belonged here." This doesn't matter to the Jennifer Lewis stork, who simply grabs Kai and flies off.

Meanwhile, the Hurricanes are chasing after the Marabous... but that's just what the Marabous WANT them to do! They're luring them into a trap!

"Not bad for a couple of dopey villains' henchmen, huh?"

The Jennifer Lewis stork brings Kai to Sekhuru and begs him to just tell Kai "the story". With a sigh, Sekhuru admits, "Perhaps it is time." Time for Kai to learn the truth, that is. As it turns out, Kai was born in Zambezia - not only that, but his parents founded the Hurricanes to guard Zambezia and offer protection to all the birds in the River Valley (except Marabous, apparently).

Then we immediately cut back to Tendai and Budzo. As it turns out, Budzo ate Tendai's wife (well, he doesn't straight-up say that he ate her, but I think that's supposed to be the implication). He tells the kidnapped birds to keep it up, for "we are going to make this valley into one big egg omelet!" That's kind of a cheesy line, but Jim Cummings' delivery makes it much cooler than it has any right to be.

Cut back to Kai and Sekhuru. Sekhuru explains that they came upon a nest under attack by the big lizard, and despite how bravely Kai's mother fought she wound up a lizard's lunch. They managed to save one egg that day... specifically, Zoe. Tendai was so depressed that he made Sekhuru promise to never tell anyone that he was once a Hurricane. "Tendai could no longer see the value in Zambezia," Sekhuru admits, "Only the cost..."

I honestly don't have a funny caption here, but I didn't want to go three paragraphs
without a screencap.

Then Kai figures out that Budzo and the Marabous are in cahoots - they have to go back to that forest and find them! So off Kai, Zoe and the Jennifer Lewis stork go. They come across some lizard tracks and follow them to where Budzo is holding the birds captive. The Tania Gunadi bird tells him that Budzo forced them to make a bridge that'll let him into Zambezia - and that he and the Marabous already left. Kai is then reunited with his dad and frees him while the Jennifer Lewis stork goes to town on a pair of Marabou.

By the time Kai, Tendai, and the other birds arrive, the bridge is up already. I'm amazed that it can support Budzo's weight. Cecil realizes that Zambezia is crawling with iguanas - and this is what makes him figure out that Budzo was using them. "You Marabous are just as naïve as Zambezians!" Budzo boasts.

Hey, uh, if anyone from Triggerfish Animation is reading this? Just a suggestion -
why not make a movie about dinosaurs? Budzo here already looks plenty like
a dinosaur, so I have faith in your ability to create awesome character designs
for dinosaurs.

Kai convinces Tendai to let the Marabous help - "Zambezia is more than just a place! It's an idea!" he says. "The idea that all of us are important - even Marabous! If they are willing to help, they earn the right to live here too."

Hey, yet another screencap that could make a potential meme!

The birds on Zambezia all want to fly for it, but Kai gives another rousing speech. "When I first came here," he says, "I thought I could do everything myself. And then I saw what Zambezia was all about! If we all stick together, and we do our part, we can win this thing!" Budzo, meanwhile, is approaching the nesting area.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S BUDZO!"

Kai, Tendai and Sekhuru fight Budzo while the Marabous try to destroy the bridge and fight the iguanas (or at least hold them off). And the Hurricanes are still stuck in that net, but fortunately Zoe finds them. The other birds do their part to fight Budzo as well, with the Hurricanes offering the Marabous some assistance in destroying the bridge. The combined forces of all those birds eventually manage to take out Budzo, sending him flying into the waters below... but he's taking Zoe with her! Kai, fortunately, manages to save her. Whether or not Budzo survived is left ambiguous, but monitor lizards can swim, so I'd say the chances are pretty big. But presumably he won't be bothering the Zambezians anymore (unless they ever make a sequel).

So all's well that ends well. Kai and Cecil's cousin are part of the Hurricanes, the Marabous are accepted, everybody parties, and Tendai dances awkwardly. The end.

It's Carnival in Zambezia!

I was pleasantly surprised by Zambezia. It's not a GREAT movie, but there's a lot to like about it. The voice actors all do a good job (especially Jim Cummings), the animation is pretty solid, and I really like how they handled the Marabou storks - it honestly felt like how The Lion King should've handled the hyenas. It does have its problems... Ezee and the valley girl birds can get kind of annoying, for one thing... but all in all, I'd say it's pretty solid. If you'd like to give it a watch, you can probably find it on DVD somewhere.

Next time on "Let's Watch This"... well, I don't wanna give away what we'll be watching, but I'll give you a hint: it's stop-motion. That's it. That's all you're getting.