Sunday, August 15, 2021

Back to the Drawing Board: The 1988 Version of "Aladdin"

Welcome to another edition of Back to the Drawing Board, where we do a little dumpster-diving to see what got cut from things that are animated.

So... let's talk about Disney's Aladdin.

Since its release in 1992, Aladdin has been one of Disney's most beloved animated movies. It's got catchy songs, great animation, Robin Williams as a fast-talking genie... what's not to love about it?

One thing that I really wanted to do when I started this series was find really rough drafts of animated movies and review them for your enjoyment. Alas, finding rough drafts of animated movies is hard. Really, really hard. But I was able to find an early script for Aladdin written by Howard Ashman and Alan Menken from back in the January of 1988. It's... pretty different from the film that we got. So let's talk about it!

First, we get a listing of all the script's characters. In order, they are...

- Aladdin - Come on, you really need me to describe Aladdin? Who doesn't know Aladdin? Well, anyway, he's described as being "a charmer" and "a ragamuffin with boundless but completely unfocused energy", at least at first. Then he becomes all about making his mother proud. Also, for those of you wondering how old Aladdin is, in this draft he's fifteen.

- Babkak, Omar, and Kasim - Aladdin's buddies, a trio of funny, charming teens. With Aladdin, they are a musical quartet.

- Abbi - A tomboy who's friends with Aladdin and has a crush on him, but alas, Aladdin doesn't notice. She's described as being "the Judy Garland to his Mickey Rooney".

- Maman - Aladdin's mother, a sweet and wise old lady. The script says "If Geppetto had been a Mideastern matriarch, he might have been something like this."

- The Wazir - An early version of Jafar. Like Jafar, he's the film's villain, and is also a hammy con-man, a trickster, and a master of disguise. The script compares him to Hans Conried.

- Sinbad - The Wazir's smart-mouthed parrot, an early version of Iago.

- Princess Jasmine - Pretty far from the Jasmine that we got. This version is "a purely comic creation" and your typical spoiled brat who thinks that the entire world revolves around her simply because she's rich and good-looking and also a princess.

- The Sultan - Jasmine's father and the kingdom's ruler, described as being "completely ineffectual and inept". So, not too different from the Sultan in the final film.

- Narrator - An early version of the Peddler at the beginning who was also voiced by Robin Williams. A magical rug-seller in the local bazaar, he basically is to the script what Sam the Snowman is to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Described as a two-feet tall "elfin creature" wearing a turban much larger than he is, with big ears and eyes. He's got a secret identity, but I won't give it away just yet...

- Big Genie - As opposed to the Small Genie, I guess. He's the ever-impressive, long-contained, often imitated, but never duplicated Genie of the Lamp. A snappy dresser with a bit of influence from Cab Calloway.

The character list also mentions that, at the moment, there aren't any "furry creatures" a la the forest animals in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. However, it also says that they COULD add a race of harmony-singing birds who live above the bazaar, or a bunch of friendly cave-dwelling creatures such as moles who Aladdin could meet in the Cave of Wonders. I always felt that what Aladdin needed were more singing birds.

But enough about the characters, let's get to the actual script. To keep this post from being visually boring, I'll pepper it with some concept art for the film in appropriate places. And whenever there's a song, I'll post a link to a demo on YouTube, assuming I can find it.

We open in a "zany and fanciful Baghdad of the imagination", a place described as "a place familiar from lots of old movies and not just Arabian Nights movies either" and "timeless but with a whiff of exotic 1930's in décor, music and mood". It's here that we meet the Narrator, who welcomes us to Baghdad (as opposed to Agrabah), offers to sell us a rug, but then realizes that we're actually here for a STORY, not a rug, and says, "Very well... a story it is, then. But I warn you I tell no ordinary tales. For this is no ordinary place."

Concept art for the Peddler.

With that, he begins to sing "Arabian Nights" - or, as it's called here, "Another Arabian Night". This is one thing different from the finished film, we get some dialogue from the Narrator before he begins to sing, whereas the film starts with the Peddler singing. Some lyrics are different as well: obviously there's still the line about how they cut off your ear if they don't like your face (pretty clear why THAT line was eventually changed), but in addition, we have "Come on down, come on in, let the magic begin, it's another Arabian Night" instead of "Come on down, stop on by, hop a carpet and fly, to another Arabian Night". There are also a good chunk of lyrics that didn't even make it to the film...

"Oh, I come from a land where intrigue is in style
And adventure is status quo
Where they hack off your lips if they don't like your smile (THAT line definitely would've been changed too)
It's the law, did I make it? No.
See the dervishes dance
In ridiculous pants
Then romance to your heart's delight..."

"Arabian Nights
Like Arabian Days
They tease and excite
Take off and take flight
They shock and amaze..."

"Arabian Nights
Like Arabian Noons
The thrills that one seeks
One finds with the sheiks
The geeks and the goons
In that magical place, in that mystical land
There's a genie inside every jar
He'll do all of your bidding, your wish his command
It's demeaning, but hey - there you are (possible foreshadowing?)
Unbelievable, yes, and an ethical mess
Nonetheless, no one's very contrite
You come here, and you've
Come to a land where any mountain can move
A land of high intrigue with tricky logistics
By prophets and mystics
And I've got statistics to prove..."

"Follow me to a place where incredible feats
Are routine every hour or so
Where enchantment runs rampant
Yes, wild in the streets
Open Sesame! Here we go!
Pack your shield, pack your sword
You won't ever get bored
Though get beaten or gored you might
Call it mad, call it crazed
But let Allah be praised
It's another... Arabian Night!"

Do some of these lyrics sound familiar? They should. Some were later used for the version of "Arabian Nights" that opened The Return of Jafar and the TV series. A good chunk of these lyrics were also used for the version of the song that opens the Broadway adaptation of the film (where it's performed by the Genie as opposed to the Peddler).

Anyhow, throughout all of this, we are treated to a "tongue-in-cheek, mood-setting tour of the city". Forty thieves gallop towards the screen on horseback. A character named Sabu and three of his friends fly out a door on a magic carpet. A genie pops out of a garbage can. A fakir doing some sort of trick with snakes and nails. Stuff like that.

Once the song is over, the Narrator begins his story. He introduces the film's villain, Mr. Proto Jafar himself, the Wazir, through another verse of "Arabian Nights". He's a part-time magician who dabbles in black magic and plots to overthrow the Sultan, whose name is apparently "Ha-Med". His latest attempt is to serve the Sultan poisoned wine, but his plan is foiled when the Sultan's cat accidentally laps it up instead. Figuring out what's going on, the Sultan orders his guards, who in this draft are called the "Royal Goons", to arrest the Wazir. We get a chase scene, and the Wazir eventually escapes.

Concept art for Jafar.

In his secret lair (located in the basement of an abandoned Incense Works), the Wazir complains to his pet parrot Sinbad that they'll never be able to take over the kingdom until they can come up with more powerful magic. What they need is a Genie - the most powerful Genie of all the Genies in the world. That would be the Genie of the Lamp as opposed to the Genie of the Ring or the Genie of the Jar or the Genie of the Bottle (and, presumably, the Genie of the Boombox). Where is the lamp that contains this Genie? Well, if you've seen the finished movie (and if not, where have you been?), you should know that it's located in the Cave of Wonders. According to a book that the Wazir, only one person is decreed by fate to retrieve the lamp from the cave. And according to ANOTHER book (the Book of Fate, it's called), it's none other than our main character - Aladdin.

Concept art for Iago... or, as he was originally called, Sinbad.

The next morning, in a "seriously impoverished neighborhood", we are introduced to Aladdin. He's described as a "fifteen year old ragamuffin". He's hanging with his pal Abbi, who as I've said before has a crush on Aladdin. At the moment, they're watching one of the Sultan's "Armed Goons" put up a "Help Wanted" poster. The Sultan needs a new wazir, and the old Wazir is wanted for treason. Abbi suggests that Aladdin apply for the job instead of trying to find the Wazir so he can collect the reward money, but Aladdin is one of those lazy, irresponsible folks who would rather hang out with his buddies and get drunk than work.

Concept art for Aladdin.

Aladdin's mother, Maman, calls him over and gives him a rug that she's just woven. She tells him to take it to the Bazaar and sell it so they can get the money to pay their rent (which is overdue, by the way). After Aladdin gets the money, he has to deliver it to their landlord, a man by the name of Big Yumahah. Aladdin heads off to the Bazaar, but before he can sell the rug, he's distracted by his three friends Babkak, Omar and Kasim. We get a little more detail to their individual characters here - Babkak's fat, Kasim's a tough guy, and Omar's a glasses-wearing nerd. They urge Aladdin to join them in performing for pennies. Aladdin initially declines, then proceeds to forget about the rug and join them. I'm sure THAT'S not going to backfire on him in any way!

 We get another song here - a Gene Kelly/Donald O'Conner-style number called "Babak, Omar, Aladdin, Kasim" in which the four play makeshift instruments and get the whole Bazaar singing and dancing. At the end of the song, the boys accidentally knock over a vat of olive oil and destroy Maman's rug. And since there aren't any rug-cleaners in this fantasy version of Baghdad, now Aladdin can't sell it and get the money to pay the rent. Dang it, Aladdin, you had ONE JOB!

Big Yumahah, who's not just Aladdin's landlord but also a café owner, shows up and starts chewing out the boys for making so much noise and disturbing his customers before asking Aladdin for the rent money. The coins that he, Babak, Omar, and Kasim earned from their song aren't enough to pay the rent, so Aladdin is ordered by Big Yumahah to tell his mother that they're evicted unless they pay the rent by noon the next day. Aladdin heads home, unaware that he's being watched by a cloaked figure with a parrot on his shoulder, dun-dun-dun...

When Maman learns from Aladdin what happened, she's upset but doesn't throw a fit because Aladdin already feels bad enough. Abbi comes over and offers Aladdin some of her money, but Aladdin refuses - it's HIS fault that he and his mother are in this mess, and he vows to fix things and become a more responsible person. He just has to figure out HOW. And how to make enough to pay the rent by noon the next day.

Concept art for Aladdin's mother.

After that, the Wazir knocks on the door and cons Aladdin into letting him in. He claims that he's Aladdin's long-lost uncle and offers to help him with his eviction problem. He tells Aladdin about the Cave of Wonders high up in the Forbidden Mountains and the treasures that it's filled with. Eager to help Maman and make the rent money, Aladdin agrees and the two head off to the cave as the Narrator sings another verse of "Arabian Nights".

They arrive in front of an enormous boulder. The Wazir tells Aladdin to say "Open Sesame", which Aladdin identifies as a cliché (hey, he's doing my job for me!) - but it works. Alas, this early version of the Cave of Wonders isn't a giant tiger head made of sand with the voice of Frank Welker. It's just an opening in the earth. Not nearly as cool. The Wazir tells Aladdin to head down there and grab a rusty old lamp, a brass ring, and a few gold pieces to pay the rent with. Aladdin heads inside and grabs as much treasure as he fill his pockets with. Apparently this version of the Cave of Wonders doesn't have the "touch nothing but the lamp" rule.

Concept art for the Cave of Wonders, after they decided making it
a giant tiger head would be a lot better than just making it a hole
in the ground.

Outside the cave, the Wazir acts all excited about getting his hands on that lamp as he rigs up a lever-type device made of branches and rocks at the mouth of the cave. Sinbad points out that it might be a bad thing for them having Aladdin know about the cave and the lamp, but the Wazir has a way around that - he'll get Aladdin to hand over the lamp, then use the branch-lever device thing to drop a boulder over the opening, trapping Aladdin inside. Meanwhile, Aladdin finds the lamp and the ring and tries to leave the cave, but then a rockslide occurs and he winds up clinging to a twig growing from one side of the cave. Like in the finished movie, he's all "HELP ME!" to which the Wazir is all "GIVE ME THE LAMP!" to which Aladdin is all "BUT I CAN'T HOLD ON!" to which the Wazir is all "THE LAMP! GIVE IT TO ME! NOW!" But unlike in the movie, Aladdin doesn't just give him the lamp after that, instead he's all "GIVE ME YOUR HAND AND THEN I'LL GIVE YOU THE LAMP!" and the Wazir loses his temper and in the process lets it slip that he's NOT Aladdin's uncle - Aladdin's father's name was Yusef, and the Wazir calls him "Yasini". So the moral of today's story is that if you're going to pretend to be somebody's long lost uncle, do a little research before you do it.

The cat's out of the bag now, and the Wazir continues demanding the lamp, to which Aladdin is all "NO!" and then he loses his grip. Into the cave he falls. Sinbad is all, "Well, so much for THAT." The Wazir tells him to shut up, then accidentally triggers the lever for the device he constructed earlier in a fit of rage, planting the boulder back over the cave entrance.

Inside the cave, Aladdin is still alive - he landed on a convenient pile of soft leaves. Of course, he winds up rubbing the lamp (he's hoping to light it so he can look for a way out, but it's really dirty, so he's trying to clean it first), and the Big Genie appears in a display of smoke and fireworks.

Concept art for the Genie. Those horns really aren't working for me.

Since they didn't have Robin Williams ad-libbing up a storm yet, the Genie simply introduces himself and explains how the "having a genie" thing works - "You wish; I deliver. You want it, I get it. No questions, no limits. You just hit the jackpot, son." Clearly, this early draft was written before they decided to just limit the Genie to three wishes (which makes for better drama) and give him a few provisos as to what wishes he can't grant (no wishing for no wishes [though it's kind of doubtful that Aladdin would wish for more wishes in this version since there isn't a limit as to how many wishes the Genie can grant], he can't kill anybody, he can't make somebody fall in love with somebody else, etc.). Of course, there IS a chance that Aladdin will do something for the Genie in return some day. You see, if a Genie ever saves their master's life, the master must set the Genie free. "But frankly, Master, that hardly ever happens, so I wouldn't waste any energy thinkin' about it," he adds.

Had to share this piece of concept art for the Genie that makes him
look like Mike Wazowski.

The Genie sings "Friend Like Me", which isn't too different than the one in the finished film (though instead of "Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three, I'm on the job, you big nabob", we get "Mister Aladdin, sir, what will those orders be? I love my job, you big nabob"), and by the end of the song he's transported them back to Aladdin's house. Before we leave the cave, a footnote adds, there's at least one shot of the brass ring lying on the floor. Aladdin forgot about it in the excitement of meeting a Genie. This is brought up because it will be important later on.

More concept art for the Genie. Yes, apparently at one point
they were gonna have him be a giant demonic-looking
elephant. Not sure where THAT idea came from...

Now that Aladdin has the hang of this wishing stuff now, so he starts making wishes to turn his home into an incredible mansion. After that, Aladdin remembers that he and his mom are about to be, y'know, EVICTED and wishes for the rent money. The Genie grants that wish, but provides Aladdin with a word of warning - the lamp's great power attracts evil men (like the Wazir, for example), so the best way for Aladdin to avoid trouble for himself and those he loves is to keep the lamp a secret.

Maman arrives home and is obviously shocked by what happened to their house. "I promised I'd make up for everything," Aladdin says, "And this is just the start, Ma. You'll see. You will." He then proceeds to sing "Proud of Your Boy", probably the most well-known of the movie's cut songs, then we get a montage of Aladdin paying the rent, giving money to poor people just for the heck of it, and then remembers that the Sultan needs a new wazir and decides to use the Genie's magic to help him get that job.

At the palace, the Sultan (described as a "daffy, scatterbrained, Ed Wynn-ish old man") is interviewing various potential wazirs, most of them dull accountant-types. As if he didn't have THAT to worry about, the kingdom's also not in the best financial situation at the moment because the Wazir was pilfering the treasury. And on top of THAT, the Sultan's daughter is troubled by the lack of money too. As I've said before, this early version of Jasmine is a spoiled brat. She whines about how she can't have her room redone because the Royal Decorator quit, that she can't start choosing her new spring wardrobe because the Royal Dress Designer quit, and that EVERYONE is quitting because the Sultan can't pay them. And the Sultan can't just tell her to shut up and stop whining because "she's got him wrapped around her expensively painted little finger".

Here's an odd piece of concept art for the Sultan.
I could be wrong about this, but I'm preeeeeeetty sure
that nobody in Baghdad dresses like this...

Jasmine heads back to her room and overhears her maids gossiping about how much they hate her. She barges in and demands, "SOMEBODY TAWKING ABOUT SOMEBODY BEHIND HER ROYAL BACK?!" (No, I didn't misspell "talking". The script says "tawking", I swear) and then proceeds to sing a song about how she's a massive pain in the rear, "Call Me a Princess". Then the Armed Goons announce the arrival of a new wannabe wazir - Mr. Ali-Al-Din, otherwise known as Aladdin. He makes a grand entrance with elephants, giraffes, peacocks, gifts for the Sultan, etc. a la the "Prince Ali" song that we got, except it makes at least slightly more sense for a prince to have this type of entrance than a guy who just wants to be the Sultan's right-hand man. Everyone's impressed by him, and it looks like Aladdin's a shoo-in for the job.

Concept art for Jasmine.

Then Jasmine shows up, and Aladdin manages to wow her by wishing that she had a fantastic palace of her own. Realizing that he's met a man who could solve all of his kingdom's problems, the Sultan begs him to become his new Wazir. On the way out in a sedan chair carried by Genie-produced servants, Aladdin runs into his pals Babkak, Omar, Kasim, and Abbi. They're all amazed at how Aladdin has suddenly become a well-respected and important man in Baghdad, but alas, Aladdin is also starting to become incredibly insensitive, as people in animation who suddenly gain a lot of money and/or power are known to do. He gives Abbi some money and tells her to "go out and buy yourself a new outfit" because "You must be getting pretty bored with that old thing." An insulted Abbi leaves, then Aladdin starts teasing Babkak, Omar, and Kasim - and by "teasing", I mean he calls them chumps, tell them to get motivated and start using their potential like he did, and says that he has to leave but he'll maybe see them for lunch on Thursday. Wow, way to be a jerk, Al.

Babkak, Omar, and Kasim theorize that Aladdin has gotten mixed-up with criminals or maybe even oil merchants (I assume that's supposed to be a joke), but whatever it is, he's not his old self. They follow him in his sedan chair down the road, singing a song called "How Quick They Forget" about how he's suddenly treating them like garbage. But what Aladdin doesn't know is that Sinbad is nearby, and he spots Aladdin with the lamp. He tells the Wazir, and the Wazir starts making plans to swipe the lamp from right under Aladdin's nose.

Here's another piece of concept art for Jafar and Iago.

The next day, Abbi drops by Aladdin's house to give him back the money, concerned about where it came from. Also concerned, Maman tells Aladdin that "Nothing's worth anything unless you earn it yourself." This prompts Aladdin to leave the lamp at home before heading off to the palace, Abbi following him to find out what he's up to. Of course, the Wazir and Sinbad are just outside the pantry window, and now's their opportunity for Sinbad to fly in and swipe the lamp. But as he's lifting it off the shelf, he accidentally knocks over some jars, which prompts Maman to come in and chase the parrot out the window with a broom, causing him to drop the lamp. Now it's lying on the floor. Not knowing what it is or what it's doing in her house, she throws it on a trash heap.

At the palace, Aladdin is being treated as though he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Abbi watches from a window as he is proclaimed the Wazir of Baghdad. But back at Aladdin's house, the Wazir has disguised himself as a junk dealer and gets Maman's attention by mentioning that he's paying big bucks for egg-beaters, old pots and pans, and rusted LAMPS. You can see where this is going, right?

As soon as Maman comes outside with the lamp, the Wazir grabs it and summons the Genie. "To the palace!" he shouts. Speaking of which, at the palace the Sultan asks Aladdin just how, exactly, he had that palace built so quickly. Aladdin tries to bluff, but the Sultan commands him to give him a straight answer, and as the wazir he must obey royal commands or else be impeached. Aladdin says, "Okay... I've got this Genie..."

I know the Magic Carpet isn't in this
draft of the script, but I wanted to include
this concept art.

But before he can finish his sentence, a tornado-like wind sweeps through the palace, blowing away a wall that allows them to see Jasmine's palace - with her inside - being lifted up into the air by the Genie. Before flying off with it, the Genie sadly apologizes to Aladdin for what he's doing, calling him "Master", which makes the Sultan assume that Aladdin was behind it all. "He called you 'Master'! Is that YOUR genie?! Get my daughter back!" he demands. Aladdin tries to think of an explanation, but then Sinbad flies in with a note that the Sultan discovers is a hostage note from the Wazir - a hostage note claiming that Jasmine will not be returned until the Sultan abdicates the throne and declares the Wazir the new ruler of Baghdad. So now the Sultan is all "I see what's going on here even though I actually don't!" - he thinks that Aladdin is conspiring with the Wazir and announces that unless Jasmine is returned, Aladdin will be executed at dawn.

The guards grab Aladdin and drag him off to a dungeon, but fortunately Abbi runs off to the marketplace to find Babkak, Omar, and Kasim. We get a scene with Aladdin in the dungeon, and he and the guard at the entrance hear music like the kind that Babkak, Omar, and Kasim make. The guard goes to see where the music is coming from and promptly gets hit over the head by someone in a cloak. We get another reprise of "Arabian Nights", and then it's dawn - and Jasmine's not back yet, which means that Aladdin's getting the Queen of Hearts treatment. We get a scene of Aladdin in front of an executioner and everything.

But it turns out that the executioner is just Babkak and Kasim in disguise, standing on each other's shoulders. All heck breaks loose, and we get another chase sequence. Aladdin and his friends manage to evade the guards by hiding under a bridge, and since Abbi was the one who orchestrated all of this he realizes that she has the hots for him. But Aladdin's still a wanted man, and his friends are still wondering where the money and the magic came from in the first place. So he recaps the story, and then remembers that there's a ring still in the cave that likely has a Genie in it just like the lamp. They can wish for THAT Genie to fight the other Genie and get the Princess back. But first, they have to get to the cave.

They emerge from under the bridge, get spotted by the guards, more chasing, blah blah blah… and wouldn't you know it, the Genie put Jasmine's palace on one of the Forbidden Mountains. So at least now they know where Jasmine is. They all head into the cave, but the guards can't fit in the opening, so they build a fire to try and smoke the kids out of the cave. Aladdin finds the ring and who should appear in a puff of smoke when he rubs it but... the Narrator. The rug-seller guy who sings "Arabian Night". I had the feeling that the Peddler would turn out to be one of the Genies in disguise, but I was expecting the Genie of the Ring to just look like the Genie of the Lamp (though presumably a different color). But nope - the Narrator isn't a disguise for the Genie of the Ring, that's just how the Genie of the Ring looks. He even admits via narration that he wasn't exactly what Aladdin expected. I wonder if they would've had Robin Williams voice both Genies, like how he voiced both the Genie and the Peddler...

Another piece of concept art for the Narrator...
I mean, the Genie of the Ring.

Well, anyhow, the Narrator - now referred to as the Little Genie - confirms that he is indeed the Genie of the Ring ("All seven and a half pounds of him."). He's not as powerful as the Genie of the Lamp, but a Genie's a Genie. So now they have to battle the guards, then rescue the princess... but first, we need to have another song. You see, Babkak, Omar, and Kasim have cold feet, so Aladdin, Abbi, and the Narrator/Little Genie sing a song called "High Adventure" about how great adventure is. They could've just had Aladdin give a big speech about how they have to do it for truth and justice and honesty like Fozzie in The Great Muppet Caper, but nope. Gotta pad things out with a song. Ever hear of "Time is of the essence", guys?

So they all escape the cave on a magic carpet, fight off the guards and make it to the palace, where they discover that the Wazir is torturing Jasmine by - horror of horrors - making her do housework. The Wazir rubs the lamp and demands to see the Sultan, causing him to appear in a puff of smoke. Jasmine begs the Sultan to give him the kingdom so she doesn't have to hand-rinse the floor. But before the Sultan can sign over the kingdom, the Narrator/Little Genie conjures up an arctic wind that sweeps through the palace, freezing the water on the wet marble floors. This results in the Wazir slipping, and the lamp flies out of his hands and into Aladdin's. Aladdin rubs the lamp and commands the Big Genie to zap the Wazir, which makes the Sultan realize that Aladdin and the Wazir are not, in fact, in cahoots. The Big Genie prepares to fry the Wazir like a fish stick, but before he can Sinbad swoops down and grabs the lamp. Now HE'S in control of the Big Genie, and he orders the Big Genie to stop.

Here's another piece of concept art. I'm kind of glad
they didn't have the "Genie's stomach acts as a way
for Jafar to spy on Aladdin" thing in the actual movie.
It makes the Genie look like a Teletubby.

Sinbad gives the lamp back to the Wazir, who quickly wishes for a pack of thugs to get rid of Aladdin and his friends. Fortunately, the Narrator/Little Genie creates clones of Aladdin, Abbi, Omar, Babkak, and Kasim to help them fight the thugs. While this is going on, Jasmine attacks the Wazir and tries to get the lamp away from him, but they're dangerously close to the window and, as a result, the lamp goes flying out of the palace and into the canyon, miles below. Sinbad flies out after it. Now it's a free for all as we get rope-swinging, chandelier-hopping, balcony-leaping, swordplay and a lot of quick thinking. And they sing "High Adventure" again for some reason.

Okay, so they defeat the thugs, and the Wazir makes a run for it, but the good guys chase him through the palace. Just when they have him cornered, the Wazir reveals that he's holding Mamar captive. Holding a "gleaming saber" to her throat, the Wazir threatens to do horrible things to her. But then Sinbad flies in with the lamp, distracting the Wazir and giving Mamar the opportunity to grab Jasmine's broom and take a swipe at the parrot. The lamp goes flying out the window again, Aladdin diving out after it and managing to grab it without falling into the canyon due to the Narrator/Little Genie grabbing his foot.

So now Aladdin has the lamp again, and he commands the Big Genie to send the Wazir to Persia or something, which he promptly does. Not as satisfying a comeuppance as Aladdin tricking him into wishing to be a genie and getting sucked into a lamp, but eh. The Narrator/Little Genie whips up a padlocked birdcage for Sinbad, and then the Big Genie delivers them all back home to Baghdad. Once there, the Sultan offers Aladdin the hand of Jasmine in marriage, but Aladdin politely declines, since he's already got Abbi. Mamar tells Aladdin that she's proud of him. And since the Big Genie and the Little Genie have both saved Aladdin several times that day, Aladdin must free them - but right after he's granted one more wish...

Soon Baghdad has a café called Aladdin's Oasis. There's music playing courtesy of Aladdin, Abbi, Babkak, Omar, and Kasim, and everybody's having a swell time. The Big Genie is now the Sultan's Wazir. Jasmine seems to have the hots for Omar. Coincidentally, a restaurant called Aladdin's Oasis opened at Disneyland in 1993, complete with a dinner show. It closed in 1997, though. The Narrator/Little Genie ends the script with another reprise of "Arabian Nights".

Another piece of concept art for Jasmine.

So, that was the first draft of Aladdin. And while it wasn't bad, I'll admit that I definitely prefer the movie we got. I liked the Genie of the Ring/Narrator, but I have the feeling that two genies would've been a bit too much. I also feel they made the right choice not making Jasmine a spoiled brat. Apparently, this was changed because they feared audiences would find her unlikable. And I honestly think that they would've. I doubt Jasmine merchandise would have sold as well had she spent most of the movie acting like [INSERT SOME FEMALE CELEBRITY WITH A REPUTATION FOR BEING A JERK HERE]. Some of the songs, while good, feel out of place in a film taking place in Baghdad (particularly "Call Me a Princess" and "How Quick They Forget"). And speaking of the songs, was it necessary to stop the story just before the climax to have Aladdin and his buddies sing? Still, it's interesting to see how different this draft is from the finished film. It makes me curious as to how they decided to make the changes they made. I recall that Babkak, Omar, and Kasim were cut to keep the focus on Aladdin, but what made them decide to get rid of Abbi? Where did they get the idea to call the Wazir "Jafar"? Who came up with the idea of making the Cave of Wonders a giant tiger head made of sand?

A clue to how some of these changes were made comes via a quote from John Musker: "When we came on shortly after The Little Mermaid, several scripts had been developed. Some based on Howard's treatment, some completely different of Howard's treatment. We liked some of this, some of that. But we wanted to create some new things, so we concocted our own new story using some elements from the previous scripts." However, some of those elements that WEREN'T used from Howard's script wound up in the aforementioned Broadway adaptation of the film - those being Babkak, Omar, and Kasim (replacing Abu), their song "Babkak, Omar, Aladdin, Kasim", and "Proud of Your Boy"; though Aladdin's mother herself isn't in the play.

So, thank you for joining me on this trek through a version of Aladdin drastically different from the one that Disney released in 1992. I've got plans to look at more early scripts for animated movies, both ones that got made and ones that didn't. If I find another draft of Aladdin's script that's different enough from both this and the actual movie, I'll do a post about that, too. But for now, I'll end this edition of "Back to the Drawing Board" with a song for no other reason than because I have no idea how else to end it. Take it away, Genie!

Monday, August 2, 2021

Let's Watch This: "Yogi Bear and the Magical Flight of the Spruce Goose" (1987)

Hanna-Barbera, nowadays, seems to be looked down upon. People complain about the animation in their shows being lousy, their characters being annoying and one-note, things like that. The only Hanna-Barbera productions that really get much praise nowadays are their stuff from the 1990s - the stuff made for Cartoon Network.

Case in point - I recently criticized that new Jellystone! show (y'know, the one that cast celebrities as the voices of several characters and turned Squiddly Diddly into a stereotypical fashion-obsessed teenage girl for some reason) on Twitter, and I got a ton of hate tweets sent my way. Most of these claimed that Hanna-Barbera sucked anyways and that Jellystone! improved these characters by changing them. Yes, clearly turning Magilla Gorilla into Paul F. Thompkins makes him a much more complex character.

Me, on the other hand? I've always had a fondness for Hanna-Barbera's productions, especially their "Funny Animal" cartoons like Yogi Bear, Snagglepuss, Huckleberry Hound, and Quick-Draw McGraw. Sure, the animation wasn't very good, and they could get kind of corny, but I don't see just what's so horrible about these things. Fortunately, when I was younger, Boomerang actually AIRED these old cartoons for us children who weren't around in Hanna-Barbera's heyday to watch. Most of the "Funny Animal" cartoons were put in a block on Saturday mornings called "The Boomerang Zoo". Now, if you want to watch a Snagglepuss cartoon, you either have to buy The Yogi Bear Show on DVD or see if anybody's uploaded one to Dailymotion.

During the 1970s, Hanna-Barbera got an idea: what if they made productions that teamed all their "Funny Animal" characters up? Who WOULDN'T love to see Magilla Gorilla hanging out with Peter Potamus? Their first attempt at this was Yogi's Ark Lark, a 1972 TV special that I plan on reviewing at another time.

Then came a show called Yogi's Gang, in which Yogi and the others were still flying around in that ark... only for the hypothetical shenanigans that could occur with all these characters hanging out taking a backseat to the characters learning life lessons. So, like, one episode had Wally Gator learning that pranking people is bad, one episode had Snagglepuss, Quick-Draw and Wally learning not to trick people, one episode had Atom Ant teaching everyone about how being wasteful is wrong... stuff like that. Usually this involved some evil person obsessed with some negative trait (they had names like "Mr. Waste", "Mr. Hothead", "Mr. Fibber", stuff like that) and there was always at least one character - usually Boo-Boo - who was trying to get the others not to listen to this evil person from the start. There was just one very small problem with this - we watch Yogi Bear because we want to LAUGH, not because we want to learn life lessons.

This sort of thing went on, with Hanna-Barbera releasing things like this...

I'll be reviewing this another time, too.

And this...

Which also featured Scooby-Doo. And various characters from the multiple clones of
his show that Hanna-Barbera made.

And who could forget about THIS, even though we all want to?

No, I'm not going to be reviewing this. Enough people have already done reviews of it
for me to admit that I can't really say anything else about it that hasn't already been said.
It's the same reason I won't be reviewing Foodfight!.

Today, we'll be watching one of these "Hanna-Barbera Funny Animal Crossover" productions - a 1987 TV movie called Yogi Bear and the Magical Flight of the Spruce Goose. Is it any good? Let's find out!

So, the movie begins with a musical number about Yogi (Daws Butler)'s "Holiday Jolly-Day Tour Bus". Boo-Boo (Don Messick), Huckleberry Hound (Daws Butler), Snagglepuss (Daws Butler), Quick-Draw McGraw (Daws Butler), Augie Doggie (Daws Butler) and Doggie Daddy (John Stephenson) are all going for a ride with Yogi to such places as "where the wild Giggles grow", "where snickers are bloomin' and belly-laughs boomin'" and the Grand Canyon. When did Yogi start up a tour bus company? I don't know, but who cares? Personally, I'm more curious as to why Magilla Gorilla and Wally Gator weren't invited.

Wait... that's not a bus, that's just a car. FALSE ADVERTISING!

Eventually, they arrive at their destination - the dome of the Spruce Goose. And they only got lost five times. "Four if you don't count Pismo Beach," Augie pipes up. "Believe me, son, Pismo Beach don't count!" Doggie Daddy replies. What does he mean by that? What exactly happened at Pismo Beach to make Doggie Daddy say something like that? I demand more information.

After roll call, they all head inside. The guy at the ticket booth warns Yogi that it's almost closing time, but Yogi's not worried - "This is the quicky-quicky tour!" he announces. "In and about, round and out! Hurry hurry hurry!" As they're walking in, Quick-Draw asks just what, exactly, the Spruce Goose is. Fortunately, a movie starts playing to answer his question. A movie with stock-footage, no less!

No, I didn't put Victory Thru Air Power on or whatever. This is from the
same movie.

The Spruce Goose, the movie explains, is the largest plane ever built. Also, it's made entirely of wood. So for those of you who didn't know anything about the Spruce Goose before reading this... don't thank me, thank the writers of this movie. Then the screen actually lifts up, allowing the gang to head inside and see the Spruce Goose for themselves.

No, seriously, what DID happen to the gang at Pismo Beach? Doggie Daddy's
"Pismo Beach don't count" comment is making me suspicious...

"It's fantastic! Stupendous! Bigger than a breadbox, even!" Snagglepuss exclaims upon seeing the Spruce Goose with his own eyes. Augie points out that they say its wings are longer than a football field. "That's amazin'! But who wants ta play football on da wing of an airplane? Especially when it's flyin'!" Doggie Daddy asks. Up the stairs to the plane they go.

Is it just me, or did Yogi's eyebrows suddenly become a bit bushier?

Climbing all those stairs makes Yogi eventually become exhausted - apparently, running away from parkgoers with the pic-a-nic baskets that he just swiped from them isn't enough to keep the bear in shape. Fortunately, he finds a shortcut - an entryway into the plane with a "OFF-LIMITS - DO NOT ENTER" sign standing in it. But Yogi doesn't give a crap about rules (especially that one about not feeding the bears, as any fan of Yogi Bear should already know), so they go through the entryway and into the plane.

"And remember, if we get in trouble for this, we're pinning the blame on
Hokey Wolf. He's not in this movie, so if we blame him, he's not going to
find out about it."

However, upon closing the door, they discover that it's pitch-black inside. Yogi tries to open the door and "shed a little light on this situation", but it's no use - they're locked in. Snagglepuss lights a match, then they all scream for help. Alas, nobody hears them, and just to add insult to injury, it's closing time. So even if Yogi and the others DO get out, they're still stuck in the dome... and without any food. Since this is a cartoon, I'm expecting Yogi to hallucinate that Boo-Boo is a ham and attempt to eat him.

Say, if the Spruce Goose is made entirely of wood, why does it look like
it's made of chrome? Is that just a result of the paint job, or is it the lighting,
or what?

Fortunately, Yogi has a backup plan...

Okay, I know that this is more likely than not a nitpick, but... where did
they get the ladder? I'm not complaining, just curious...

Augie, after Doggie Daddy points out that his feet don't touch the ground and ergo he probably won't be much help, accidentally opens a door and falls into... uh, the cargo area? I honestly have no idea what part of the plane this is.

What are those things on the bottom? Giant sausages? If so, I guess
we don't have to worry about Yogi getting hungry...

The gang's attempt to break down the door is a wash, but Augie tells them that he found a way out. So they try that way.

"Would now be a bad time to mention that I want a refund?"
"You're gonna have to wait until the end of the tour."

Eventually, they find a ladder and climb up it, only to find themselves in the control room. "I feel just like an astronaut!" Snagglepuss says. Yogi, of course, starts pushing random buttons in the hopes that one of them will open the door. You know where this is going, right?

"Which of these buttons turns on the seat-warmers?"

Yogi presses a button that causes a bunch of lights to turn on, then the propellers outside the plane manifest pixie dust and start whirling. And then the plane goes into motion.

Quick question, doesn't this place have any security guards? If so, didn't any of them see or hear the plane roaring to life and moving? And if they DID see or hear it, then why the heck aren't they doing anything?

And people say that Hanna-Barbera productions have bad animation.

"These are the best special effects I've ever seen!" Yogi exclaims as the plane leaves the dome. Some glowing dots appear out of nowhere and provide a "runway" of sorts. Yogi, of course, doesn't realize that he's actually started the Spruce Goose - he thinks that it's some sort of simulator or something. "It feels like we're really moving, doesn't it?" he asks. "It even LOOKS LIKE we're moving!"

I don't know why, but I love Yogi's expression here.

Also, did Boo-Boo suddenly become much larger?

"If it feels like it's moving, and it LOOKS LIKE we're moving, I've got a strange idea, Yogi... we're moving!" Boo-Boo tells him. "Ridiculous, Boob! It's just an optical illusion!" Yogi replies... just as they head straight for a bridge, but fortunately the plane fits under it. Then Yogi decides to get the others so that THEY can see what's going on. Boo-Boo points out to him that it's a bad idea because he's the pilot and must steer the plane, but Yogi doesn't believe that the controls really work, so off he goes.

As it turns out, the others are hiding. As he peeks out from behind a table, Huck asks, "Can we go home now?" Doggie Daddy and Snagglepuss are ticked-off that Yogi got them into this mess.

"Do you know how many people today have mistaken me for the Pink Panther?!
If it happens ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to snap! Go berserk! Freak-out, even!"

"Do I detect an undercurrent of dissatisfaction among the troops?" Yogi asks. "Dang it all, Yogi, we just wanna know what's goin' on!" Quick-Draw complains. Well, Quick-Draw, I can answer that question for you: Yogi set the plane into motion. And since he has no idea what he's doing, you're all in big, big trouble. Boo-Boo runs in and frantically tells Yogi that they're gonna crash into the bridge, which means that Yogi must take the controls.

Snagglepuss is so frightened that his eyebrows have flown off his face!

Fortunately, Yogi manages to get the plane airborne before Mr. Plane can meet Mr. Bridge... and then accidentally causes the plane to go into a nosedive and land back on the surface of the water. But then... oh, no! They're about to crash into a giant cruise ship!

"We can't destroy a Disney Cruise ship! Disney has all the lawyers!"

Then the Spruce Goose starts glowing with yellow fuzz and takes off into the sky. "It seems that this better-than-average bear is also your better-than-average flyboy!" Yogi boasts proudly. "Uh, flyBEAR!" Boo-Boo points out to Yogi that this isn't a simulator or whatever, Yogi's actually flying the plane - and he doesn't know HOW to fly the plane. Yogi shushes him and says, "YOU know it, and I know it, but don't tell the Spruce Goose!"

So the plane winds up in, um, outer space, and it winds up flying through a... spotlight?

This isn't going to turn into a prequel for that Yogi's Space Race show, is it?

The spotlight causes the ship to start glowing with (as Boo-Boo puts it) "stardust".

I wonder what Baba Looey is doing right now without Quick-Draw around.

Then Doggie Daddy points out the "Doggie Star"... which is not a star but rather a constellation in the shape of Huck's head.

"Hey, now, that there's an unauthorized use of my image."

And the Sagitarius constellation looks like Quick-Draw... as a centaur. Except that it's not a centaur, it's a horse with six legs. Uh...

"My nose isn't THAT big!"

In fact, all of the constellations look like Yogi and his friends. Snagglepuss is thrilled to be "finally up there in lights".

Hey, why doesn't Boo-Boo get a constellation?

And then things get weird. The plane flies through some clouds, and out of the clouds emerges... a satyr? Uh, okay...

Philoctetes before he let his appearance go to pot.

Next, a pegasus shows up...

When did we wind up in a Fantasia segment?

The constellations of Quick-Draw and Yogi try to lasso the pegasus, but they wind up lassoing a constellation of a bull... and the clouds turn red for some reason...

Hey, look, it's a literal Red Bull. And I just found out that Red Bull was introduced
the very same year that this movie aired. That's kind of amusing. Sort of. Not really.

Then... I don't even know what's going on right now.

I can't even think of a comment here.

After... whatever it was that we just watched, Snagglepuss and Quick-Draw start talking about how great Yogi's Holiday Jolly-Day Tour is. Then we cut to... get ready for this... aliens. Yes, aliens.

And they have Shrek ears.

The aliens talk in these Stitch/Marvin the Martian/Gizmo-esque voices (provided by Dave Coulier and Frank Welker) about how they're going to take over the Earth, but, I'm sorry, why are we watching aliens? I thought this was supposed to be about Yogi Bear and his friends flying around in the Spruce Goose. Where do aliens fit into this?! What, did one of the writers run into that pigeon from Bolt on the way to the studio?

Okay, so, the aliens disguise themselves as humans... green-skinned humans. One of them becomes... Napoleon?

Yeah, a green-skinned Cap'n Crunch. That's not gonna raise any suspicion.

And the other becomes... a caveman.

Uhhhhhhhhhh, maybe that disguise would work if you were planning on
invading BEDROCK...

Then the aliens' UFO get knocked off-course by the Spruce Goose. One of them suggests that they just invade New Jersey instead. Uh, I'm not sure that I get the joke there.

Okay, enough of the aliens, back to the actual movie. The gang hears on the radio that an ice storm has marooned a bunch of animals at the South Pole. They're landlocked and starving. So Yogi is all, "We'll save those animals!" and it's off to the South Pole for them!

Blah blah blah, insert some sort of E.T. joke here...

To get to the South Pole, Yogi decides to follow a flock of stoned-looking pelicans. After all, birds fly south in the winter... only for Boo-Boo to point out that there's one small problem with Yogi's thought process: birds fly south to WARMER CLIMATES in the winter.

"Dude... the colors..."
"Man, I'm so baked right now..."
"I'm so baked right now that I can hear smells... and I don't even know what that
means..."

Then Boo-Boo points out that they'll freeze in the South Pole. "We'll get sniffles, even!" Snagglepuss exclaims. But Yogi wants to help those trapped animals.



I know bringing realism into a movie with talking bears, dogs, horses, and mountain lions in it is kind of stupid, but why are there polar bears at the South Pole?

We get some WACKY SHENANIGANS involving turbulence, and at one point Quick-Draw threatens to shoot Yogi.






I'm sorry, but WHAT?! Quick-Draw threatening to shoot Yogi?! WHAT?! Call me crazy, but I don't think that's very in-character!

See? Even Yogi is shocked by this!

Eventually, they see a sign welcoming them to the South Pole.

Crud, now I'm craving a candy cane...

Then they all hear a banging noise. Huck peeks out to see what it is... and winds up frozen in a block of ice.

"I WAS FROZEN TODAY!"

"Well, look what we have here..." Quick-Draw says. "A frozen PUP-sicle!" Ha ha ha ha ha that's not funny.

"Yer joke is bad and you should feel bad!"

Quick-Draw manages to free Huck by shattering the ice with a hammer, then Huck tells the others that there's a baby pelican out there on the wing. And he's hurt! How will they save him? Well, Huck uses toilet plungers on his feet to walk out and save the bird, and they bandage its wing.

I know that's the pouch, but it looks like the pelican has a goatee.
It's also awfully big for a BABY pelican...

So after that little pointless detour, they're still hearing bumping noises... coming from the floor this time. As it turns out, there's a little girl on the plane too, and they're just now realizing it.

Did we take a wrong turn and wind up in a Peanuts special or something?

The kid, whose name is Bernice, is really abrasive and has an incredibly annoying voice that sounds like she either has a Brooklyn accent or is constipated. I can tell that this character is going to be super-endearing!

So what the heck is Bernice (voiced by Marilyn Schreffler) doing here? Well, she was on the Spruce Goose tour with her parents, got lost, and (in Huck's words) "made the same dumb mistake we did". But let's be honest here, she's really only here because otherwise this special won't have any female characters in it, and simply turning some of the pre-existing male characters female would be an incredibly stupid way to fix that problem (I'm sorry, but the Jellystone! jokes are writing themselves).

Anyway, they find the landlocked animals, and we get an animation error.

I know, I know, it's Hanna-Barbera, they're known for not having the best
animation, but I still couldn't help pointing this out.

Yogi's plan is to crack through the ice, freeing the animals that are cut off from the ocean. But as Huck points out, the ice is probably pretty thick. "If this is the plane that couldn't be built, it oughta do things that couldn't be done! Hey-hey-hey!" Yogi replies with a smile. So they try it, and it works!

Why am I suddenly reminded of the Ice Age movies?

Hooray, the animals are saved! But some of the penguins are trapped on an iceberg surrounded by sharks! Oh no! Fortunately, Bernice knows how they can save them... "But you probably wouldn't take an idea from a girl," she complains. Ah yes, I forgot to mention that Bernice is one of those "I am woman, hear me roar" characters. Were people in 1987 still thinking that girls weren't as good as boys or whatever?

By the way, I just Googled it, and apparently there aren't actually any sharks in Antarctica. But, again, I probably shouldn't bring realism into a movie with talking bears in it.

I like how they're all circling the island in unison like that. Do you think
they rehearsed this?

"I'm an open-minded bear," Yogi says, so they try Bernice's idea - flying next to the iceberg and letting the penguins climb onto the wing of the plane.

Huh, Hanna-Barbera did March of the Penguins before March of the Penguins.
Who would've thunk?

It works, but we have to keep dragging the scene out, so then Bernice slips off the wing and winds up clinging to a propeller dangling over the sharks. "This is becomin' another remake of JAWS!" she snaps, sparing me from having to make a JAWS reference myself. Yogi saves her, but winds up dangling over the sharks himself. His head also spins around a few times like that kid from The Exorcist.

Jabberjaw was pretty ticked-off that HE wasn't invited on the Holiday
Jolly-Day Tours...

Long story short, Quick-Draw and Snagglepuss are able to save Yogi, but thanks to Snagglepuss' pressing buttons and Yogi's holding off going back in so that he can taunt the sharks, Yogi, Quick-Draw, and Bernice wind up on an iceberg in the water with the sharks coming towards them. Thankfully, they're saved by a whale.

"Ever seen Pinocchio, punks?!"

After that, they take off in the Spruce Goose and then... oy, it's back to the aliens. Blah-blah-blah, they want to take over the world, they're idiots, go away you stupid aliens.

Over the radio, the gang hears that an ocean liner full of animals is adrift in the Zelman Sea... a place that I couldn't find any information on when I Googled it, so I'm assuming that Hanna-Barbera made it up (if it actually does exist, please let me know). The criminal poachers that trapped the animals have abandoned them on the boat... for some reason. But Yogi and his friends aren't gonna stand for that - after all, they're animals themselves - so it's off to the Zelman Sea!

Alas, they wind up getting lost. Fortunately, with the help of some pixie dust and Yogi's finger (don't ask), they're able to locate the Zelman Sea. And then... oh for the love of... the aliens are back.

You know what? I'm not even going to provide context for this screencap.

Okay, back to Yogi and his friends. They've located the ocean liner and the animals on board.

You ever wonder why, in the Hanna-Barbera world, some animals
are anthropomorphic and others aren't? Does Snagglepuss ever get
weird looks from the other, non-anthropomorphic lions?

Then, ugh, back to the aliens. They get sent off-course by the Spruce Goose again. Nyuck nyuck nyuck. Side note, boy, is this movie long. Why are so many of the movies that I review so long?

The aliens bug off, and it's time for Yogi's gang to rescue some animals. Doggie Daddy briefly turns into a larger version of his son (not that he didn't ALREADY look like a larger version of his son, but still...), and as it turns out Yogi doesn't have a plan. Fortunately, he gets the idea to tow the the ship to... somewhere. But then the ship breaks open and starts to sink. "This is a job for El Kabong!" Quick-Draw announces before dressing up as El Kabong and swinging over to the ship. He tells everybody to go to the back of the boat. Wait, he needed to become El Kabong just for THAT?

Well, now the boat's not going to sink. Hooray! Oh, wait, never mind. It's still gonna sink. Fortunately, Bernice has found the answer - they can just open the front doors and load the animals into the Spruce Goose. There's just one problem... there aren't any front doors. D'oh. But Yogi has an idea: "What the mind of man can conceive, the mind of a better-than-average bear can conceive!" he says. This leads to a pretty funny exchange between Snagglepuss and Boo-Boo. Snagglepuss says, "Huh? What did he say? What did he say?" Boo-Boo's response is, "I think this is where he gets us to clap for Tinker Bell."

Boo-Boo's statement turns out to be pretty accurate - Yogi tells everyone, and the audience, to clap their hands if they believe in cargo doors. This causes cargo doors to suddenly appear. Hooray for Deus Ex Machinas!

Good thing that ship is taking its sweet time sinking.

Good thing that ship is taking its sweet time sinking.

The animals all come aboard the Spruce Goose. "It's a regular Yogi's Ark!" Doggie Daddy explains. Don't worry, Doggie Daddy, I'll be reviewing THAT another time. We get a gag where Snagglepuss and Huck are startled by a pair of alligators... even though they're friends with an alligator. Wally Gator. They've interacted with him in a few different productions before this. I know he's not in this movie, but he still exists. Just sayin'.

So the Spruce Goose takes off, and Yogi announces that they're gonna return the animals to their natural habitats... or, rather, the nearest land.

Everybody knows that tropical islands are the natural habitat of alligators.

The animals are all let free, Quick-Draw parts with an elephant that he apparently hooked up with at some point (I don't know either), and little do the gang know that they're being watched. A pair of eyes peers out of a nearby bush. Su-SPI-cous!

Boo-Boo then points out to Yogi that the name of the island isn't "HELP" as Yogi suggests - their noticing the word "HELP" written into the sand probably means that there's somebody else on the island that needs their help. Yogi suggests that they form a search party and find whoever it is that needs their help. And indeed, they're not alone on the island... the ones who need to be saved are none other than Dick Dastardly and Muttley!

Well, okay, it's not actually Dick Dastardly and Muttley... maybe I should explain. You see, at the time apparently Hanna-Barbera didn't have complete ownership of Dastardly and Muttley, so when they wanted to make a Muttley show in 1976 they had to create a Muttley clone called "Mumbly" and then, when they wanted to have Dastardly and Muttley appear in Laff-a-Lympics, they had to have Mumbly and a Dastardly clone called the "Dread Baron" in the show instead. I guess they wanted to use Dastardly and Muttley here, too, but they couldn't so instead they just threw the Dread Baron and Mumbly in here*. The Baron's even voiced here by Dastardly's voice actor, Paul Winchell, using the exact same voice he used for Dastardly (Don Messick, Muttley's voice actor, does Mumbly here too, but he's always voiced Mumbly so...). Maybe they were hoping kids would assume they were the same characters?

Anyway, Dastardly and Muttley (yeah, that's what I'm calling them. They're just Dastardly and Muttley with different names, so to heck with it, I'm calling them Dastardly and Muttley) have been stranded on the island for a while now. Muttley tells Dastardly (in perfect English, which does make for an amusing gag) that there's a rather large plane on the beach. Upon noticing that the plane is the Spruce Goose, Dastardly announces that he's not just saved, he's RICH! But then he sees Yogi and his friends... apparently they've met before (presumably on Laff-a-Lympics), and they all know that he's "a stinker", so chances are they won't help them. But then Dastardly notices the kid with them, and he starts concocting a plan...

The plan, as it turns out, is to win the gang over by saving Bernice when she gets stuck in quicksand. Doesn't work - they get Bernice out, but Yogi still doesn't trust Dastardly... so they'll be democratic and vote on it.

Once Yogi tallies up all the votes, it's a tie - eight votes "No" and eight votes "Yes". "But there's only ten of us here. How can there be sixteen votes?" Huck points out. Yeah, how can there be? We don't get an answer. However, Yogi decides to change his vote and trust Dastardly - after all, he tried to save Bernice, and he DOES know how to fly an airplane, which should come in handy. But the others decide to have a mutiny. Then Yogi asks, hey, what if Dastardly promises to reform? THEN will the others trust him? And he can prove it by returning a bird's egg to its nest... which is all the way on the top of a giant anthill.

I've heard of making a mountain out of a molehill, but this is ridiculous!

Wacky shenanigans ensue as Dastardly and Muttley try to return the egg to its nest. For example, they come across this purple lizard.

Is that a crocodile or an alligator or a giant monitor lizard or WHAT?

After more padding, they're able to return the egg to its nest. "Well, I'll be an uncle's monkey! He did it!" Yogi exclaims. A deal's a deal, so Yogi and the gang decide to trust Dastardly and Muttley and let them go with them on the plane. But Dastardly, of course, plans to double-cross them - and then going to a place called "Moolah-Moolah".

After they take off, Dastardly asks Yogi if he can thank him and his crew with "a little surprise". Yogi agrees, and we see Dastardly and Muttley preparing dinner for them while Dastardly reminds the audience that he's going to double-cross Yogi. Long story short, the surprise party/trap goes off without a hitch, they all sing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow", and Dastardly locks them in, then proceeds to brag over the intercom that they're now his prisoners. Yogi then says, "If anybody says 'I told you so', I'm gonna get very upset!"

Now, that's pretty funny, but then he says, "Whatever you do, don't say 'I told you so'!", and then the others do indeed say "We told you so!", which makes the line less funny. They dragged the joke out. Anyway, Quick-Draw is suddenly dressed as El Kabong again. He winds up breaking the intercom, and they all try to think of a way to get outta there. Alas, nobody has any ideas.

Eventually, Dastardly lands the plane... on the very same island that they just left. Wow. Fail.

Dastardly kind of sucks as a navigator.

Muttley then falls out of the plane and finds some natives worshiping a giant stone statue that resembles Dastardly.

And Dastardly never saw the giant statue before BECAAAAAAAAAAAUSE?
Maybe this is actually a different island, I don't know...

So of course the natives believe that Dastardly is their king or whatever, and he's going to milk it for all its worth. While the natives are loading gold into the plane, Yogi gets one's attention by banging on the door, and they get out.

I don't know why, but I find the design of these natives offensive.

Yogi and the others make a run for it, and they all jump out of the plane and run into Dastardly. "The game is up, Dread Baron!" Yogi snaps, but Dastardly has backup - the natives! "Lock them up and throw away the key!" Dastardly shouts, and the natives force the gang into a straw hut. Snagglepuss suggests they try brute strength to get out of there, only to earn dumbfounded looks from the others. I dunno, Yogi might not have much in the way of muscles but he's still a BEAR. I think he could hypothetically tear the walls of the hut in two. Then Yogi suggests that they try brains AND brawn, and are able to lift up the hut and walk off in it. This is why straw huts make crappy prisons.

But Dastardly has a backup plan - let Yogi and his friends fall into a big hole filled with alligators! It works, but they still make it out okay. Sometimes it pays to be a cartoon character. But then there's an earthquake - an earthquake caused by an erupting volcano! Yogi and his friends make a run for the plane, Dastardly's giant statue is destroyed, and the natives turn on Dastardly. And then... oh good lord, not the aliens again!

Guess what happens next. No really, guess.

You're right! As the gang - and Dastardly and Muttley, who they decided to let come with them out of the kindness of their hearts - flies off, they wind up knocking the aliens off-course again. But the plane is too heavy, so Dastardly suggests that they lighten the load and throw out anything useless. Quick-Draw then says, "Okay, we'll start with YOU!"

Dang. Quick-Draw McGraw just burned somebody. I did not expect THAT to happen. I mean, I am by no means COMPLAINING, but still...

So anyway, Dastardly throws out a bunch of chairs and Muttley, but Muttley uses his tail to fly back in. Yogi and Quick-Draw decide to throw out the gold, which obviously makes Dastardly freak out and jump out of the plane like an idiot... also, Muttley stole his parachute. As Yogi and the gang fly off, Muttley becomes the king of the natives, with Dastardly as his servant.

Yogi and the gang arrive back at the Spruce Goose dome. Boo-Boo asks how they're gonna land the plane in there. Yogi's response? The exact same way they took off.

Don't look at me, Boo-Boo. I'm just as confused as you are.

They land the plane, and as it turns out there ARE guards at this place as one of them kicks Yogi and his friends out. Bernice's mother finds her offscreen. Yogi and his gang are heroes. "Let's hear it for the Sprucey Goosey!" Yogi announces, and we end with a reprise of the "Holiday Jolly-Day Tour Bus" song.

What's the Verdict?

Well, that was... meh. Not good, not bad, just meh. It has it's problems... Bernice is annoying and pointless, for one. It's unbelievably long. There's a lot of padding, scenes are unnecessarily dragged-out. And what, exactly, was the purpose of having aliens in this movie? But there isn't anything awful or offensive about it, and it's admittedly carried by the charm that all of these Hanna-Barbera characters have. This movie would be much worse if it didn't have Quick-Draw McGraw, Snagglepuss, and Huckleberry Hound in it. Would I recommend watching it? Uh, if you're a fan of Yogi Bear, maybe.

And hey, if nothing else, I would still much rather watch this than Jellystone!.

* And yet, they COULD use Dastardly and Muttley in that Yogi's Treasure Hunt show, which came out two years prior to this movie.