Let's Watch This: "Life is a Circus, Charlie Brown" (1980)

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the special I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this special, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

Who wants to talk about another Peanuts TV special? I do!

By the 1980s, the folks making these Charlie Brown specials probably realized that they'd run out of holidays. There was a Christmas special, a Halloween special, a Thanksgiving special, an Easter special, even an Arbor Day special. And presumably, they realized that folks would think A Charlie Brown Cinco De Mayo was a dumb idea... actually, what WOULD that special be like? Would Snoopy have some sort of stereotypical Mexican alter ego? In what way would Charlie Brown get put the wringer?

Well, anyhow, before they started recycling holidays (I personally like It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown and I Want a Dog For Christmas, Charlie Brown, but I know I'm probably in the minority), the folks making these specials started whipping up specials with plotlines that probably would've worked better for episodes of The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show than full-length specials. Though, to be fair, they were doing this as far back as 1974 - It's a Mystery, Charlie Brown isn't anything to write home about.

Long story short, at one point somebody asked, "What if Snoopy decided to join the circus?" and that's how we got Life is a Circus, Charlie Brown. This is one of those specials that you rarely see people talk about. Airing on CBS on October 24th, 1980, the only truly noteworthy things about it are that A) it won an Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program and B) it introduced a character named Fifi, who would appear again years later in The Peanuts Movie. Oh, and it was one of the first Peanuts specials to be released on VHS.

I have never seen this special before. As a rule of thumb, if it never aired on TV at any point in the 2000s, chances are it's a Peanuts special that I've never seen (unless it was included as a bonus feature on the DVD of one of the holiday specials, like It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown was). But what luck, it's on Apple TV, so I can watch it now and do a review of it. Is Life is a Circus, Charlie Brown good? Let's find out, shall we?

The special wastes no time in getting the plot set up. It begins with Snoopy (voiced by Bill Melendez) being awoken by the sound of calliope music and following it to a big circus parade going on. He watches as the elephants, camels, and giraffes walk out of their car, hitching a ride in the process...

Has Snoopy always had a fear of heights, or is this just something created for the special?
If he's a World War I Flying Ace, it's probably the latter - I don't think someone with a fear
of heights being a flying ace is such a good idea...

And this is where the "THING THAT MAKES THIS SPECIAL DATED" Alarm goes off: most circuses have gotten rid of their animal acts because we've realized that the loud music, bright lights, and cheering crowds provide much stress to elephants and giraffes. Why do you think the Dumbo remake ended with Dumbo and his mother being released into the wild?

Anyhow, Snoopy spots a girl walking out of the car with three poodles, one of whom is the aforementioned Fifi.

She was drastically redesigned for The Peanuts Movie... which was probably for the best.
She doesn't look much like a Peanuts character here.

And upon seeing her, Snoopy falls head over furry heels in love and follows her into the big top.

After that, we cut to Peppermint Patty (Brent Hauer) calling up Charlie Brown (Michael Mandy) on the phone to spew out some exposition. Specifically, she tells him that the circus was in town - and what luck, both of their schools were closed so they could go see it. Dang, MY school never closed just because there was a circus in town. Though I guess that's because a circus never came to my area. I probably wouldn't have wanted to go anyway, since I'm terrified of clowns.

This was the closest thing to a circus in my neck of the woods. Actually, that sign
is probably part of the reason why I'm afraid of clowns...

So it's off to the circus for Charlie Brown, Peppermint Patty, Lucy (Kristen Fullerton), Linus (Rocky Reilly), Schroeder (Christopher Donohue), and Marcie (Shannon Cohn). I wonder why Sally's not with them... maybe she's afraid of clowns too?

At the circus, we learn something new about Peppermint Patty - she likes to mix popcorn with her cotton candy. And by "mix", I mean she dumps popcorn onto Charlie Brown's cotton candy and it sticks on. Is it weird that I'm wondering what that would taste like? Hey, if putting CARAMEL on your cotton candy tastes good...

Did you know that cotton candy is also called "fairy floss"? Hey, if I can't be funny,
I think I should at least try to be educational...

Once the show starts up, an announcer - whose voice we actually hear, believe it or not, as opposed to just a trombone sound - introduces that girl from before, Polly (Casey Carlson), and her poodles. Their act consists of Polly standing there with a baton while the poodles flip in the air. That's an exciting circus act? You don't need to go to a circus to see a dog do a flip, just stay home and offer your schnauzer a dog treat.

I should also add that Polly has horrible taste in fashion. Where'd she get that hat, at a Yellow Submarine Fan Convention? And that DRESS... she really needs to stop letting the clowns choose her wardrobe.

Does Fifi's being the only poodle with eyelashes imply that she wears mascara? Does she
apply it herself or does Polly put it on her?

Charlie Brown and his friends are very surprised to see Snoopy, now wearing a blue bow on his head, among the poodles. "How did he ever get into a circus act?" Charlie Brown wonders. Chuck, you should know by now that your dog is someone who can do whatever the heck he wants, logic behind it be darned. Maybe the Head Beagle pulled a few strings on his behalf...

Despite the fact that Snoopy proves not to be much of a circus performer and looks incredibly embarassed, everyone else is excited that Snoopy has a career... even though he already has, like, fifty. Flying Ace, lawyer, writer, Beagle Scout troop leader, hockey player, member of the French Foreign Legion, the list is endless. "He doesn't need a career! His career is being my dog!" Charlie Brown points out. He does have a point - he's Snoopy's owner, so shouldn't he have some say in whether or not the circus takes Snoopy?

Welcome to the Realm of Never Knowing What's Going On, Charlie Brown. I'm a regular here,
I'll show you around...

The crowd goes wild for Polly and her dogs, because apparently they're very easily impressed. After the show, Polly tells Snoopy that they'll need to do a little training. Or maybe all he needs is a kiss from Fifi.

Quick question, are we going to get any explanation as to why this young girl is working for the circus? Are her parents circus employees as well? Are child labor laws just not a thing in the Peanuts world?

Ah, puppy love.

Polly gets a call from the guy who owns the circus, and he says that they should change Snoopy's name to Hugo (maybe he's a big fan of British actor Hugo Weaving). Meanwhile, Charlie Brown discovers that Snoopy still hasn't come home and runs back to the circus just in time to see the circus car drive off with him in it. Again, I guess Charlie Brown, Snoopy's legal owner, has no say in this?

Those sneaky dogcatchers, disguising their wagons as circus cars...

So now Snoopy is stuck in a circus car with an elephant, a giraffe, two camels, a couple bears, a bison, what looks like a pair of ibex, and... I'm honestly not sure what that yellowish animal is. A raccoon? Have circuses ever had raccoon acts?

And since we now know that the folks in charge of character designs for these specials (Charles Schultz himself? I'm not sure) can indeed draw accurate-looking bison, why did the ones in You're in the Super Bowl, Charlie Brown look so weird?

Well, it could be worse. They could've stuffed Snoopy into a Volkswagen Beetle
with the clowns (how DO clowns do that trick, anyway?).

When he starts to get cold, he tries to use a giant pile of hay in the car as a blanket. But wouldn't you know it, it's NOT a pile of hay. It's a very, very, very big lion. Like, I know lions are big, but I'm pretty sure they're not THAT big. Is Snoopy just tiny?

"If you start singing 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight', so help me I will have you as a midnight snack."

In the morning, it's time to do some more training. First, Polly puts Snoopy on a unicycle, and once he gets the hang of it she decides to have him do it on a high wire. Okay, I have to say something - walking on a very thin wire, like, ten feet in the air is dangerous enough, but having someone ride across that wire on a WOBBLY UNICYCLE? I think people who actually do this are nuts. You might as well put on a seal costume and jump into shark-infested waters.

While Polly is putting Snoopy's life at risk, Charlie Brown talks to Linus about how his dog ditched him to join the circus. Linus suggests that maybe Snoopy just needed a more exciting life. "He got his food and lodging from me. I expected SOME loyalty..." Charlie Brown laments. Honestly, Charles, after Charlie Brown's All-Stars, I'm not sure why you were expecting any loyalty from Snoopy at all.

"What do your parents have to say about this, by the way?"

"Oh, what they always say: 'Wah-WAH-wah-wah-WAH-wah-WAH-wah-WAH..."

Snoopy, Polly, and the poodles perform again, and then the circus owner gets another idea: what if Snoopy and Fifi did a trapeze act? So we get about a minute of the two dogs swinging around like acrobats. After that, we cut back to Charlie Brown and Linus. Charlie Brown explains to Linus (and us) how he got Snoopy in the first place: when he was little, he was playing in a sandbox at a playground, and all of a sudden some other kid poured a bucket of sand on his head. For some reason. I guess that other kid was just a sadist. Charlie Brown started crying, and his mother ran over and took him home. The next day, they went to the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm, and Charlie Brown's parents bought him Snoopy. A later Peanuts special, 1991's Snoopy's Reunion, would ignore this and make the explanation "Charlie Brown, at his usual age, went out and bought a dog because he was depressed after getting clobbered in baseball again." Continuity is for chumps.

Not particularly sympathetic to Charlie Brown's plight, unsurprisingly, is Lucy, who boards up Snoopy's doghouse. As for Linus, he apparently decides to go see Snoopy's next performance:

Yeah, don't think I didn't notice the top of his head poking out in the lower left corner, animators.

Snoopy and Fifi do their trapeze act, and the crowd goes wild for it. But the circus owner isn't done meddling with the act - he thinks it "needs more color and class". So what does he have Polly do? He has her mix up a giant vat of pink food coloring and dunk Snoopy in it. I'm pretty sure this qualifies as animal abuse. Say what you will about the Ringling Brothers, at least they didn't power-wash any of their elephants with green paint.

If I had a nickel for every time I've reviewed a cartoon where a black and white dog got turned
pink, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but... yeah, you know how the meme goes.

She tries to do it to Fifi too, but Snoopy defends her, resulting in POLLY getting dunked in the food coloring and turning pink while the two dogs make a run for it. Snoopy is still pink, but now he can head back to Charlie Brown. Fifi, however, decides to return to the circus... even though she knows Polly wants to dunk her in pink food coloring. Ah well, have fun being Pepto Bismol-colored, Fifi...

That night, Charlie Brown is woken up by the sound of Snoopy taking a shower to wash the food coloring off (and his parents are likely wondering why there are pink paw prints all over their house). Snoopy has learned a valuable lesson - no girl is worth getting painted pink over. The special ends with America's favorite beagle going to sleep... though I'm not sure how exactly he expects to sleep when there's a giant neon sign next to his head.

"I should've known better than to expect romance in a Peanuts production to work out. Linus
is still whining about that Melody Melody chick..."

What's the Verdict?

Life is a Circus, Charlie Brown is mediocre. I've noticed that the Snoopy-focused specials don't work particularly well, mostly because what makes Snoopy funny in the comics is the things he "thinks" (especially when he's interacting with Woodstock). Since, unlike Garfield, Snoopy doesn't "talk" in the specials, that goes out the window and we're stuck just watching him do stuff - and that works well for characters like, say, the Pink Panther and Wile E. Coyote, but those characters are given great physical comedy to do to make up for the lack of dialogue. Snoopy isn't. He just... does stuff and it's not funny.

In fact, very little about this special is funny. The closest thing to a joke is Lucy boarding up Snoopy's doghouse, and even that didn't have a punchline to it. Most of the other Peanuts characters, even Charlie Brown, have nothing to do - why not have Charlie Brown chase after the circus, following it to each new location and trying to get Snoopy back? Why not have Peppermint Patty be inspired to start her own circus after seeing the show and drag the other kids into it? And, to be honest, the absence of Sally is very much felt. I know that's going to sound weird considering that the first two Peanuts specials I reviewed either ALSO didn't feature her (You're in the Super Bowl, Charlie Brown) or only gave her two or three lines (Charlie Brown's All-Stars) but seriously, where is she? And where's Woodstock, for that matter? He's Snoopy's BEST FRIEND, why not have him tag along? Why are we wasting so much time on Polly instead of the existing Peanuts characters?

Look, I'm not gonna say that this is the worst Peanuts special. I'll take it over It's Your First Kiss, Charlie Brown or Happy New Year, Charlie Brown. But aside from the animation and the score (and, surprisingly for something about a circus, the lack of clowns), there really isn't much of substance here. Maybe they should've actually made that A Charlie Brown Cinco De Mayo special I talked about earlier instead...

But at least we've learned a valuable lesson from this special. It's that circuses suck. They dunk dogs in vats of pink food coloring and make them risk their lives doing stupid tricks for our own amusement. I've never been to a circus, and I think I'll keep it that way.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Goof Troop"

I was introduced to Goof Troop through reruns - specifically, the reruns that aired on Toon Disney. Same goes for most other Disney Afternoon shows like Chip 'n' Dale's Rescue Rangers, Darkwing Duck, and Gargoyles. Y'know what episode I distinctively remember watching? The episode where Max films a video of Goofy to submit to a parody of America's Funniest Home Videos and then Pete disguises himself as Goofy to claim the prize for himself. I remember loving the joke where Pete's wife claims that her secret weapon against Pete is her mouth.

If you watched the Disney Afternoon when it was on, or watched reruns of the shows on Toon Disney like I did, chances are you don't need to be told what the premise of the show was. But for those of you that didn't, I'll fill you in - there were a couple of shorts where Goofy was shown as the father of a redheaded boy named Junior. This show brought back the "Goofy as a father" concept, turning Junior into the much "hipper" eleven-year-old Max, who has since become a recurring character in "Mickey Mouse and Friends" productions. Goofy, voiced by Bill Farmer, and Max, voiced by Dana Hill, lived in the suburban town of Spoonerville. Goofy being... well, Goofy, hijinks ensued, especially when the neighbors got involved. Those neighbors? Mickey's foe Pete, voiced by Jim Cummings, his wife Peg, voiced by April Winchell, and their two children: Max's best buddy PJ, voiced by Rob Paulsen, and rambunctious daughter Pistol, voiced by Nancy Cartwright.

Goof Troop was created by Michael Peraza Jr., the latter of whom talked about the show's development on his blog. Apparently, when he was brought in, they still had no idea what they wanted the show to be other than "Goofy is the main character". Tons of ideas for a hypothetical premise, all of them whipped up by the same creative executive who'd just been hired, were thrown out: one minute Goofy was the head scoutmaster of a group of scouts (which is why the show we got is called "Goof TROOP"), then he was a firefighter, then he was a detective, then he was a "swash-buckling hero fighting the Flying Dutchman". That same creative executive also came up with bizarre supporting casts for these premises that included alien dragon babies and giant gorillas (somebody in Disney's television department apparently thought giant gorillas were hilarious, which explains why there were episodes of both Chip 'n' Dale's Rescue Rangers AND Darkwing Duck with giant gorillas in them [and why there was a giant gorilla in Marsupilami]).

Concept art by Michael for the "Goofy as a detective" pitch.

Eventually, the idea became to do a show starring Goofy in Toontown from Who Framed Roger Rabbit (which had recently been screened at the studio). He would be the driver of Benny the Cab, who was promptly replaced by a talking SUV named Woody. Michael Peraza Jr. explained to the executive why this wasn't such a good idea - what made Toontown work in the movie was the crossover of the live action world with the zany animated world where everything from the trees to the buildings was alive. And if Goofy is shown in a GOOFY world, is he still really Goofy? Not to mention they likely wouldn't get the rights to use all the same cartoon characters from non-Disney studios the movie did. The executive didn't listen and just told him to whip up some concept art.

Then Michael got a call from Gary Krisel, the president of Walt Disney Television Animation, who wanted to check on the progress of the Goofy show. Upon arriving at Gary's office, Michael explained that he didn't think they had a show to present yet and talked to him about all the different scenarios that had been started. When he got to the "Goofy in Toontown" pitch, he explained why he didn't think it would work and Gary agreed completely before asking Michael what HE would do. Michael had this to say: "Goofy is a recognized star of Disney animation, so why re-invent the wheel? His son is an average kid dealing with many of the usual issues they face: peer pressure, young love, grades, school bullies, and so on. On top of all that, he has the zaniest, wackiest GOOFIEST dad to live down. No matter how insane the situations get though, they will always love each other. They're a family." Gary loved the idea and told him to get started. Robert Taylor was brought in to produce the project, and before long the show was premiering in syndication on September 5th, 1992. Two seasons were produced, making for a total of seventy-eight episodes, plus a Christmas special.

Today, you can find episodes of Goof Troop on Disney Plus (a handful of episodes were also released on DVD). We're going to watch the thirty-third episode of the show, "A Goof of the People". Why this episode in particular? Because I'm writing this review on Earth Day and according to TV Tropes, this one has an environmental message. This is Goof Troop!

NOTE: For some reason, despite Wikipedia claiming that this is the thirty-third episode, Disney Plus lists it as the thirty-NINTH episode. Very strange...

Goofy's house has, at least in this episode, a giant factory topped with smokestacks that spew out clouds of gas behind it. Clouds of gas that do not agree with Goofy's garden of sentient flowers, much to his dismay. Max is spewing out something, too - exposition. Apparently, the gas that's got Goofy's garden gasping and gagging (try saying THAT three times fast!) is pollution from the new SlimeCo factory. Honestly, can you imagine doing business with a company called SLIMECO? The name just SCREAMS "corrupt", doesn't it?

Has Goofy ALWAYS had such wide shoulders?

Goofy then gives Max what looks like an empty jar, but is actually a jar of fresh air he's been saving for years. Since it's so much cleaner than the air they have now, he decides to go to the SlimeCo factory and give them a piece of his mind. I do hope they'll listen to him and aren't just stock cartoon villains who get a sadistic thrill out of polluting the environment.

"This jar contains all of the reasons to go see the Snow White remake."

"But Dad, it's just an empty jar."

"Exactly! A-hyuck!"

Upon arriving at the factory, Goofy meets the owner of SlimeCo, Fenton Sludge, and dear lord is this guy hideous. The toad-colored skin, the warts, the stains on his suit... he's quite possibly the grossest character Disney has ever created. Just looking at him makes me feel filthy. He looks like something that crawled out of the Black Lagoon.

Is this the result of a Beagle Boy mating with a toad?

Animation Error #1 rears its ugly (though not quite as ugly as Mr. Sludge) head: one minute Goofy is wearing his usual orange shirt, the next he's in a blue suit. But there's no time to worry about that, because Mr. Sludge wants to take Goofy on a tour of his factory. What does SlimeCo do? Something involving toxic waste. "I love the smell of toxic waste in the morning. It smells like... MONEY," Mr. Sludge purrs. Goofy, once again wearing his usual orange shirt, tells Mr. Sludge that SlimeCo needs to stop polluting, but Mr. Sludge isn't a huge fan of that idea. It's here that we finally get to see Mr. Sludge's lower half... tell me, do YOU see anything strange about it?

He's got no legs! If they were going to make it a twist that Mr. Sludge was actually some sort of slime monster, they kind of gave it away just now. Although this does explain the green skin. Now that I think about it, why didn't Goofy comment on this at all? Did he just not look down and notice Mr. Sludge's lack of legs?

Well, anyhow, Mr. Sludge claims that clean air and water would cost him three cents a day... for some reason. However, after calming down, he says that he'll bring it up at the next board meeting and gives Goofy a couple of SlimeCo souvenirs. Then he pushes Goofy out the door.

Goofy learns the hard way that it's not a good idea to throw off Mr. Sludge's groove.

After Animation Error #2 (Mr. Sludge's ears vanishing), Goofy heads home and tells Max that "Mr. Sludge seemed like a real nice feller". Methinks Goofy's not a very good judge of character. Fortunately, Max has been studying politics in school and he knows what's really going on here: Mr. Sludge doesn't think he has to listen to Goofy because Goofy's just a normal citizen without any power. What to do? Well, it just so happens that there's a special election for mayor of Spoonerville on its way, and Max suggests that Goofy throw his hat into the ring.

"But Maxie, I'm no politician," Goofy points out. Max gives him a book called How to Be a Politican that will tell him everything he needs to know. What's there to know? Today, all you have to do to get ahead in politics is act like an idiot. Just look at Donald Trump!

"Gwarsh, Chapter 1 is all about pullin' statements outta your rear. And Chapter 2 focuses on
what to do if those fellers on Saturday Night Live make fun of you..."

This is the cue for the episode to turn into one of those "How To" shorts starring Goofy. You know those shorts, don't you? Where Goofy is subjected to WHACKY SHENANIGANS while a narrator blathers on about whatever it is he's trying to accomplish? They never stopped doing those. Even during the pandemic, Disney produced shorts like this. Well, several episodes of Goof Troop had segments that harkened back to these shorts. That's pretty neat.

Chapter 1 of the book focuses on getting elected - which involves shaking a lot of hands. Chapter 2 is about kissing babies... is this something that people running for mayor or president or whatever still do? I feel like nowadays it'd just be a good way to get cancelled. Especially if you get confused like Goofy does and wind up kissing somebody who is clearly not a baby.

"At least buy me dinner first!"

Then Goofy runs into Pete, who laughs his head off at the thought of a GOOF like Goofy being mayor... before he realizes that if HE were mayor, he could take long vacations and ride in big "limo-zeen-ies".

Nice of him to make Goofy his chauffeur.

So he tells Goofy that he really doesn't want to be mayor. "It's the job for suckers," he claims. "Everybody's screaming 'Fix the potholes!' 'Lower the taxes!' 'Build a highway!' HA! Who needs that kind of aggrivation?!" But then Goofy brings up that he's running to stop SlimeCo's polluting and that everybody he's talked to says they're gonna vote for him. This gives Pete another idea...

Considering what a schemer he is, Pete would probably be perfect for politics.

Pete tells his family that he's going to run for mayor so that he can stop pollution. Peg is skeptical - it wasn't long ago that he was taking smog devices off the RVs he sells, littering, and talking about how "recycling is for suckers". But he manages to convince him that he's for all intents and purposes Captain Planet.

...so, does Pete actually intend on stopping pollution when he becomes mayor or is he just saying that to get votes? It's not one hundred percent clear.

Okay, so Pete and PJ are cats... what are Peg and Pistol supposed to be? Dogs?

Goofy gives a speech about how he's going to bring down SlimeCo, then Pete gives the EXACT SAME SPEECH across town. Upon seeing this, Mr. Sludge is not pleased - not because he hates copycats (hey, that's a pun! Since, y'know, Pete is a cat), but because two candidates promising to end pollution means he'll have to pay three cents a day for clean air and water. "I simply MUST get one of them in my control..." he snarls. His choices are kindhearted, well-intentioned Goofy and the show's de facto main antagonist with the morals of a pickpocket who's only running so he can go on long vacations and ride in big "limo-zeen-ies", Pete. Not too hard to guess which one they're going to bribe...

I wonder if Mr. Sludge is what happens when Tasty Paste goes bad.

Mr. Sludge invites Pete to take a tour of his factory, claiming that he's planning to donate to his campaign fund. Unsurprisingly, it's pretty easy for him to bribe Pete into abandoning the anti-pollution thing. Pete gets into office, he makes sure SlimeCo stays in business and continues to pollute forever. Then the greenhouse gases do their thing, the polar ice caps melt, and the world is flooded. Hope you buy a houseboat with all that money you're getting, Pete.

Also, again, Pete doesn't even bring up the fact that Mr. Sludge is a slime monster. Maybe he's just too crazy with greed to care.

[Insert joke about Bob Iger here]

There's just one problem (aside from the whole "Pete contributing to the melting of the polar ice caps" thing) - everybody loves Goofy because he's honest, kindhearted, and wants to stop pollution. So Pete makes up bullcrap claims about Goofy lying that the lake is polluted and unsafe to swim in. To demonstrate, he jumps into the lake and starts swimming around in it, because apparently he's a massive idiot.

Yeah, Pete, swim in what looks less like water and more like green modeling clay, the stuff
that's been polluted by a company that sells TOXIC WASTE. Do you WANT to grow a lizard's
tail or ostrich legs or something?

It doesn't work. Pete just winds up making a fool out of himself (as per usual). So then he starts giving out free watches and tricks Goofy into skipping the parade and telling a bunch of cows to vote for him... which just leads to him winning the rural vote because the cows are registered voters. Mr. Sludge decides to take matters into his own grimy hands.

The candidates have a debate at Pete's car lot. Pete, again, makes a fool out of himself, but then Mr. Sludge shows up with photos of multiple barrels of toxic waste being stored in Goofy's garage. So now everyone is calling Goofy a traitor, because Mr. Sludge is clearly such a trustworthy fellow, isn't he? Fortunately, Goofy and Max notice a trail of slime leading out of the garage, and Goofy knows who left that trail...

"Let's see, which one do I throw at Mr. Sludge's head?"

Goofy goes to SlimeCo and calls out Mr. Sludge for putting toxic waste in his garage. However, their argument is interrupted by Melvin turning on the television, showing a report about a monster made of toxic waste emerging from Goofy's garage and heading down the highway to wreak havoc and probably mutate a few citizens while it's at it. Apparently Goofy didn't know that exposing those barrels to sunlight would cause the toxic waste inside to mutate and come alive. Totally how toxic waste works, right?

Didn't this guy first appear in an episode of The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh? Y'know,
the one where they went under Christopher Robin's bed? There were sentient crayons and stuff?




Yeah, that was a pretty strange show, wasn't it?

So now is it up to Goofy, Max, and the Petes to defeat the evil toxic waste monster? Will we get an epic fight scene? Nope, instead Goofy just opens up his bottle of fresh air and the monster is kaput. What an anti-climax.

"WHAT'S IN THAT BOTTLE?!" Mr. Sludge yells. "I MUST KNOW! IT COULD BE WORTH A FORTUNE!" Goofy, channeling Bugs Bunny, tells him to take a whiff. Mr. Sludge does... and fresh air has a very strange effect on HIM, too. After "letting off a little steam" (as Goofy puts it), Mr. Sludge turns into... this guy:

I guess this is what Mr. Sludge looked like before he started getting involved with toxic waste and pollution and stuff (how exactly did he turn into a slime monster again? Are we going to get an explanation?). And now he's going to devote his life to stopping pollution. Goofy: one, pollution: zilch.

So Mr. Sludge tears down his factory and builds a ballet school. Goofy wins the election by a landslide and gives Pete a position at City Hall - as his chauffeur. Well, at least Pete's still getting to ride around in a big "limo-zeen-ie". I assume that Goofy isn't the mayor in any episodes released after this one, which you'd think would render the entire episode pointless, but eh, it's still not as frustrating as the episodes of SpongeBob released after the first movie ignoring that the events of said movie ever happened.

I don't know about you, but I'd much rather have Goofy as my president than Donald Trump.

What's the Verdict?

So that's Goof Troop, and it's about what you'd expect. Let's take Goofy and Pete and put 'em in the suburbs (kind of a predecessor to The Looney Tunes Show now that I think of it). The animation is decent (though there are some errors), the jokes range from pretty funny to at least sort of funny, the voice actors all do a good job, and the characters are all fun to watch. It's certainly not the BEST show to come out of the Disney Afternoon - I mean, it's good, but it's no Darkwing Duck. But if you're goofy for Goofy, I'd recommend giving it a watch. Besides, if nothing else, it gave us A Goofy Movie... you've gotta give it credit for THAT.

Further reading:
- Michael Peraza Jr.'s two blog posts about the show's creation
- Platypus Comix's review of an episode where Max and PJ convince their town that aliens are invading
- Platypus Comix's review of the Christmas special (you might want to save this one for December)

This review has been brought to you by...

That Betty Boop musical was a success, so somebody asked the question "What if we made Broadway shows about MORE iconic cartoon characters?". The answer to that question is THIS.

Rocky and Bullwinkle: The Moose-ical takes the moose and squirrel from the small screen on your television to the Theater District. You will believe that a squirrel (or at least some thespian in an aviator's helmet and grey clothes) can fly as the madcap world of Frostbite Falls unfolds onstage. You'll be on the edge of your seat, super-invested in Bullwinkle's determination to finally pull a rabbit - not a lion, not a tiger, not a bear, a RABBIT - out of his hat. You'll be tapping your foot as the talented cast performs such fantastic musical numbers as "Nothing Up My Sleeve", "The Pottsylvanian Rag", and "A Load of Bull".

Oh, how the critics are raving about the show. In fact, EVERYBODY is raving about the show! No, really! They are! See for yourself:

"It was better than Cats! The play, not that horrid movie from 2019."
- Mark Oui, Professional Theater Critic

"I didn't hate it. I mean, it wasn't GREAT, but I could stomach it okay. I give it three stars out of five... maybe two, actually. Nah, I'll stick with three. I'm feeling generous."
- Some random guy we saw walking out of the theater

"Move over, Hamilton! This is one of the best musicals that I've ever seen! The BEST! Everybody should go see it right now!"
- An anonymous fellow who wouldn't give us their name, but who had antlers

If you only see one musical this year... it should probably be Wicked or The Book of Mormon. But if you only see at least THREE musicals this year, make sure one of them is Rocky and Bullwinkle: The Moose-ical! Tickets are on sale now!

DISCLAIMER: Rocky and Bullwinkle: The Moose-ical is not an actual Broadway production, at least not at the time of writing. Tickets are not, in fact, on sale now. The review that you just read is not actually brought to you by anything. Ever since my review of Sheep in the Big City, I have gotten the idea to put fake ads in reviews whenever I can't think of a genuinely funny way that is relevant to whatever I just reviewed to end it on. If somebody actually sells you tickets to Rocky and Bullwinkle: The Moose-ical, they are probably a con artist. Unless after posting this review a Broadway musical based on Rocky and Bullwinkle premieres, in which case you're good, but even then I don't know if it'll be called "Rocky and Bullwinkle: The Moose-ical" or not. Please do not sue me.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Danger Rangers"

I watched a lot of PBS Kids in the 2000s. I don't think a single day went by when I didn't tune in to see an episode of Arthur, Zoboomafoo, Sesame Street, or some other show that was airing on that channel at the time. And yet I have absolutely no memory of watching Danger Rangers. My introduction to it was, of all things, seeing clips of it used in a video somebody on YouTube made to a song from The Simpsons!

So what exactly IS Danger Rangers? Well, it was a cartoon show created to teach kids about safety. Apparently parents weren't doing a very good job of teaching kids, for example, to wear a helmet when riding a bicycle or call 911 in case of an emergency, so somebody thought, "Well, surely the kids will listen to a cartoon character..." Especially if that cartoon character is singing an upbeat song about it. Thus, Walter Douglas Smith Jr. and Michael D. Moore created these characters known as the Danger Rangers for the companies Educational Adventures and Animotion Works Inc. Jerry Houser, Ginny McSwain, Sean Roche, and Lucasfilm member Howard G. Kazanjian served as producers. The show's musical numbers were written by Randy Rogel of Animaniacs fame.

The Danger Rangers consist of Sully, voiced by Jerry Houser, a blue sea lion who acts as the leader of the group. He's competent, but also very goofy...

A creatively named cat named Kitty, voiced by Grey DeLisle-Griffin, Sully's second-in-command and possible love interest (because usually if the second-in-command of a team is the opposite gender of the leader, they're the love interest - Hunter and Colleen, Ace and Lexi Bunny, etc.) if I'm not looking too far into this...

Burble, voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson, a large polar bear who serves as the group's "gentle giant"...

Burt, a turtle who frequently builds inventions that help the Danger Rangers with their missions, which more or less makes him the Tech E. Coyote of the group. He is voiced by Mark Hamill, believe it or not...

Squeeky the mouse, a wisecracking smart-mouth with the voice of Rob Paulsen, which automatically makes him the best character on the show...

Gabriella, voiced by Tasia Valenza, a red hummingbird who rarely tags along on the Danger Rangers' missions, usually just staying back at headquarters and supervising. I guess there's only so much a tiny bird can do to save kids from crumbling buildings or whatever. Or maybe she's just lazy...

...and Fallbot, a John Kassir-voiced robot invented by Burt who also rarely tags along on the missions because he's a clumsy, incompetent goof (and who sounds like a cross between Pete the Puma and Bobcat Goldthwait).

Danger Rangers premiered on PBS Kids in September 2005. One season of sixteen episodes were produced, but a couple of things contributed to the show's not receiving more episodes. First of all, it only aired on select local PBS affiliates because it wasn't an in-house PBS production (maybe that's why I never saw it?). Second, at some point Educational Adventures decided to branch out into deals with Virgin Atlantic and Safe Kids Worldwide, it was hit with a lawsuit claiming that it committed fraud and financial mismanagement - bringing production of Season 2 to a screeching halt and crew members not getting paid for their work. Reruns also aired for a while on CBS' Cookie Jar TV Saturday Morning block, but the episodes were heavily edited to make room for more ads. Nonetheless, Danger Rangers has a small cult following, especially in North Korea.

How did I get into the show? I recently began watching the Annoverse's videos, and they've reviewed every single episode of the show. After watching their reviews of the first three episodes, I decided to do a review of the show myself. To make sure I didn't wind up parroting them, I'm gonna do a review of an episode that I haven't watched THEIR review of. So if I make any similar jokes, points, what have you, it's entirely coincidental. We're watching the fifth episode of the show, "Medicine Mix-Up". Let's get started, shall we?

It's a beautiful night in... whatever town this episode takes place in. The camera pans over to a candy factory where two cats are piling boxes of "Choco Chunkys" into a truck. Judging by how fat the cats are, methinks they've been helping themselves to the boxes' contents. Actually, I hope not. Chocolate is toxic to cats.

A LOT of animals can't have chocolate, so I'm not sure how well sales are doing in a world
populated by anthropomorphic animals.

The cats head into their office to do some paperwork, but as soon as they do, two mysterious figures barricade the door, trapping them inside, and steal the truck. They drive it to a strange building where they are greeted by a blue poodle with a ray gun that he zaps the boxes with. Chocolate is toxic to dogs, too, so I guess his mindset is that if HE can't eat chocolate, then NOBODY can? Talk about petty...

"I could patent this thing and make a ton of money off it, but nah, I'd much rather use it
to sabotage chocolate."

The ray gun doesn't destroy the chocolate, rather, it simply causes them to glow green for a second before the truck drives off. Who is this strange blue dog, and what does he have planned for the "Choco Chunkys"?

Well, before we can find out more, we cut to an ambulance. Inside is some poor five-year-old raccoon who drank a whole bottle of grape-flavored cough syrup unaware that it was medicine. I guess he also can't read, because don't most cough syrups have "COUGH SYRUP" written on the label in big letters somewhere so people know that it's, y'know, COUGH SYRUP? Or maybe the kid just thought that "DayQuil" was Italian for "tasty soda" or something?

I sure hope that kid's gonna be okay. In the meantime, we cut to Mount Rushmore... and no, I don't know why it depicts all four presidents as humans even though it's a world of anthropomorphic animals...

There's probably some fan theory out there that the show takes place in a post-apocalyptic
universe where humans were wiped out by a nuclear bomb or something that made all the
animals sentient.

Mount Rushmore is actually the headquarters for the Danger Rangers. At the moment, Gabriella is talking to their sentient computer, SAVO (voiced by Jonathan Harris in the pilot episode, then Charlie Adler after that), about the strange increase in children eating medicine under the impression that it's candy. They all seem to be getting to the hospital fast enough, but maybe the Danger Rangers should look into it anyway. Maybe a lot of kids have been watching those stupid Tide Pod Challenge videos on the internet.

On the way to the control room, Squeeky has to put up with Fallbot badgering him for a piece of his Choco Chunky bar. I don't know why, seeing as Fallbot is a robot and ergo doesn't have a sense of taste - he even points this out - so what exactly does he get out of eating? How does he even digest it?

I'm just now noticing that Squeeky kind of looks like a Funko Pop.

When they get to the control room, Squeeky opens up the Choco Chunky bar and discovers that it smells awful and is apparently now radioactive. Everyone is repulsed by the smell... even Fallbot, despite not having a nose.

"Okay, who farted?"

SAVO tells the Danger Rangers that kids all over the world are digging through other peoples' purses and eating prescription medicine. Question, how often do kids actually eat other peoples' medicine? I don't recall ever doing that when I was little. Maybe because the medicine I already took tasted disgusting so I wasn't exactly eager to try whatever my grandfather was taking.

Sully tells Burt that he and SAVO should hold down headquarters while everyone else heads out to save the day. Off the other Danger Rangers fly in their giant iron as we cut to a playground where a boy is sharing what he thinks is candy with two other kids (two of 'em are Jessica DiCicco, the other is Grey DeLisle-Griffin).

Now it's time to play a rousing game of "What Kind of Animal is That Character"? Tell me, do YOU have any idea what species this boy is?

The big front teeth suggest a beaver, but there otherwise isn't much else beaver-like about him. The long claws, ear shape, and color suggest a bear, but the ears are a tad too big and he has what look like tiger stripes on either side of his face, but nowhere else on his body. Is he a really stylized chipmunk? I honestly don't know. The other two are a little hard to deduce as well... the one on the left is clearly a bird, but what kind? Maybe a roadrunner?

There's no time for the Danger Rangers to land, so they open up a trapdoor in the floor and Burble launches Gabriella like a javelin down to the kids, who are fortunately raising the "candy" towards their mouths in slow-motion allowing for her to swoop in and swipe it out of their hands.

Out of context, this screencap kind of makes it look like Sully is a drug dealer, doesn't it?

"Kids, this isn't candy. This is medicine," Sully explains. "Medicine is as far away from candy as you can get," Burble adds. If a doctor, a nurse, or a parent gives you medicine, then and only then can it make you feel better. But if you take medicine that's NOT intended for your consumption, can give you a ticket to the hospital. And just to make sure the kids get the hint, the Danger Rangers launch into a musical number!

And this doesn't necessarily have to do with the song, but I have to point it out SOMEWHERE in the review... it's already pretty ironic that Grey DeLisle-Griffin has voiced two female cats named Kitty, the other of course being Kitty Katswell from T.U.F.F. Puppy. But do you know what the REALLY funny thing is? She uses essentially the exact same voice for both characters!

Burt? Aren't you supposed to be back at headquarters?

The bear/beaver/chipmunk/whatever kind of animal he is boy tells Sully that the medicine in his mom's purse was the only candy he could find that didn't smell bad. And he just so happens to have a Choco Chunky bar with him at the moment. Gee, I wonder if this could have anything to do with that poodle from the beginning of the episode...

Wouldn't you know it, SAVO calls up the Danger Rangers to tell them that candy everywhere is smelling like swamp rot. Not just Choco Chunkys, but also gumballs, licorice, and even what appears to be bottles of Gatorade (since when does that qualify as candy?). They must get to the bottom of this! I think I know what the poodle's plan is now - it's all an elaborate scheme to get kids to eat healthy. Or maybe he's actually a dentist?

The Danger Rangers go around collecting all the smelly candy and bring it back to headquarters. According to Burt, even though it has a rather unpleasant aroma, there isn't anything actually dangerous about the candy. If you actually ate it, you'd be fine (though you might need a breath mint).

Fun fact: this isn't the only time Mark Hamill has voiced a turtle. He also voiced a turtle in
My Friend Tigger and Pooh.

And it's not just PILLS that the kids are munching on instead of candy - they're also chugging down those sweet syrupy medicines too. Before the Danger Rangers can figure out what's going on, SAVO informs them that someone has now demanded fifty million dollars or else they'll continue to make more candy smell bad. Ah, so THAT is the poodle's motivation. I should've known it was just because he wanted to make money (although there are other, much easier, ways to do that than by sabotaging candy).

This calls for another musical number. Take it away, Eric Idle!

Adding to the confusion, the Danger Rangers can't figure out how this mysterious candy-stinking fiend is getting into the factories... so maybe whatever this is ISN'T going on at the factory but rather on the way to the stores. And Sully knows how to find out. His plan: he, Gabriella, and Squeeky will be stationed at the candy factories, Kitty and Burble will take the soda bottling plant. Each team will hide out in one of the delivery trucks scheduled to leave that night. Burt is on tracking and monitoring. And since Fallbot is a clumsy clod, Sully gives him the very important task of, uh, gathering up all the foul-smelling candy and disposing of it.

Uh, did a bee sting Gabriella's lower lip? Actually, do birds even HAVE lips?

Once everyone is in position... and Kitty and Burble have been given free samples...

Of course Burble's excited. He's a polar bear, everybody knows that polar bears love
Coca-Cola...

Sully, Gabriella, and Squeeky hear the engine of the truck they're hiding out in start up. What they DON'T hear is the driver fastening their seatbelt, because bad guys don't care about safety (and are also very stupid). Squeeky decides to climb into the air vent to the front of the truck and take a picture of whoever it is that's driving, allowing SAVO to identify who it is. Upon getting a good look at the driver, Squeeky whispers, "You guys aren't gonna believe this... we are being hijacked by a NINJA!"

"I don't think anybody ever told this guy that ninjas are supposed to wear BLACK suits, though..."

Alas, the driver winds up snatching a glimpse of Squeeky in the air duct and opens the back of the truck to see what's going on - but that allows Sully to stick a tracking device on him. Score one for the good guys. But the score is all tied up, because so are Burble and Kitty!

And the ninja was able to overpower a much larger POLAR BEAR hoooooooooooow?

What, is this ninja taking steroids? If so, I think the Danger Rangers need to do an episode about
not doing that...

Sully asks Burt to activate the tracking device he put on the ninja who was driving the truck. Meanwhile, Kitty and Burble are brought to the eeeeeeeeevil lair we saw at the beginning of the episode, where they are greeted by that poodle, who says in the voice of Jeff Bennett, "Ohhhhh, Kit-teeeeee, how nice to see you again!" Kitty identifies the poodle as Henri Ennui, a brilliant scientist who she knows from her days at some corporation called Global Pole. Previously, he sold counterfeit perfumes that literally stank.

It's so rare that we see a cat as the good guy and a dog as the bad guy. Usually, it's the
other way around. Either that, or the dog and the cat are both good guys. I guess whoever wrote
this episode was a cat person.

Henri shows off his ray gun, which he dubs the Rancinator - Dr. Doofenschmirtz would approve - and explains that it makes things smell like garbage by rearranging the molecules ever-so-slightly so that when they're exposed to air, they stink worse than David Zaslav. But that is not all. Oh, no. That is not all...

He's also built a really, really big Racinator! With it, he will make everything for a hundred miles around smell lousy - which presumably includes the medicine, so if he was intentionally trying to make kids sick, there goes THAT part of the plan. The only way anyone will be able to eat anything is if they pay him millions. And then... I dunno, he's gonna swim in the money like Scrooge McDuck?

Actually, if this world is populated by animals, isn't it far more likely that the citizens will go mad from hunger and start eating each other? Would Burble, for example, get so hungry that he'd try to eat Sully? I know polar bears don't eat sea lions, but they do eat SEALS, and Sully's close enough...

How much did this cost to build, anyway?

After we briefly cut back to Burt and Fallbot at headquarters (Fallbot is participating in WHACKY SHENANIGANS!), we see Sully, Squeeky, and Gabriella following the ninja who hijacked their truck around. They eventually make it to Henri's evil lair just as he's bragging about how Burble and Kitty couldn't possibly foil his plot with them being tied up at the moment. The ninjas fight them with croissants and baguettes - y'know, because they're FRENCH - and while Sully and Gabriella are dealing with them Squeeky unties Burble and Kitty. They're able to defeat the ninjas, but Henri is just about to activate his giant Rancinator. Then Fallbot shows up and actually does something useful for once by firing the rancid candy at him.

"Eugh... zhat's it. Never again shall I eat at Taco Bell!"

With Henri down for the count, Sully manages to power off the machine. Now kids all over town are free to eat candy that DOESN'T smell like a gas leak. AND as an added bonus, now they know how to be careful around medicine. Squeeky, Fallbot, and the kids rattle off more facts about not eating medicine as though they were candy. Fallbot, of course, is still an idiot and winds up eating a bunch of vitamins because he thinks they're candy, demonstrating that he's basically learned nothing. On the bright side, since he's a robot eating all those pills won't hurt him. And now, it's time for another musical number!

Hey, Burt. Harold called, he wants his purple crayon back.

We get one more brief segment with Squeeky, Fallbot, and the kids... and that's about it. Remember, don't take medicine that hasn't been prescribed to you.

What's the Verdict?

So that's Danger Rangers, and it's actually not as heavy-handed as you'd expect. There was clearly a lot of effort and passion put into this so it doesn't just feel like a day in your school's health class. You've got nice animation, likeable characters who are good role models for children, a great voice cast, and even some pretty good songs. Is it the greatest cartoon ever? No. Is it the BEST cartoon that teaches you about safety? No, I personally find those Timon and Pumbaa shorts more entertaining. But Danger Rangers is still worth checking out, or at least showing your kids. You can find every episode on YouTube, with and without annotations.

This review has been brought to you by...

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