Let's Watch This: "The Soulmates in the Gift of Light" (1991)

I know Christmas was yesterday, but I don't care. It's still the Christmas season. There's still time for one more Christmas special review.

This special has a very interesting history... at least online. In 2016, an Ottawa resident named Emily Charette posted a screencap from... something that she needed help identifying. This is the screencap:

After ruling out things like a Keebler elves commercial, FernGully, The Littles, The Smurfs, and The Princess and the Dragon, this very year the mystery was finally solved. The Mr. Smee-esque elf character was actually from a 1991 Christmas special called The Soulmates in the Gift of Light (also known as The Christmas Gift of Light).

This very obscure special premiered on November 27nd, 1991, produced by a company called Soulmates Productions... which presumably explains why the title characters are called "the Soulmates". It can now be found on YouTube. And seeing how the special's biggest claim to fame is that nobody knew what it was for years, it seems ripe for reviewing on my blog. Let's take a look at The Soulmates in the Gift of Light.

The special begins on the night before the night before Christmas. And all through the town of... whatever the name of this town is, not a creature is stirring - except for a blue-skinned shady-looking fella and a cigar-smoking kid. Wait, wait, wait, back up. A kid smoking a cigar? WHAT?

On top of that, he's also got a five o'clock shadow. Is he a kid? Or is he just a really short person?

And why does the other guy have blue skin? Maybe he's been out in the cold weather too long...

Anyhow, the blue-skinned guy (voiced by Al Waxman) and the cigar-smoking kid sneak around causing mischief and laughing about how they'll spread negative energy throughout the entire world. Spread negative energy throughout the entire world? Do you suppose these guys invented Twitter*?

As part of their mischief-making, they sneak over to a house that belongs to a girl (Gema Zamprogna) and her dog (John Stocker) who looks almost exactly like Pongo from One Hundred and One Dalmatians minus most of his spots. The blue-skinned guy uses his magic scepter to zap the dog, which creates some evil hands made of smoke that... put the dog in a trance? I'm very confused. Magic scepter? Hands made of smoke? Dog's put in a trance?

"I'm getting veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery sleeeeeeeeeeepy..."

After the blue-skinned guy and the cigar-smoking kid take off in their flying limousine sleigh... yes, they have one of those... it's established that Offbrand Pongo is the girl's guide dog. Not a very good one, it would seem, seeing as the girl very nearly gets turned into roadkill by a car. Perhaps the seeing eye dog needs a seeing eye dog of his own.

Meanwhile, at the North Pole...

Dig that funky architecture.

Santa Claus is watching people do naughty things on his big-screen TV. And when I say "naughty things", I mean things like stealing money from one of those sidewalk Santas. Please get your minds out of the gutter. "Whatever happened to the Christmas spirit?" he laments before setting out in his sleigh... which looks more like a rocket ship. Because this is a high-tech Santa. It bums me out to think of all those poor reindeer who are out of work now that Santa's decided to upgrade...

The Easter Bunny doesn't worry about stuff like this. He gives folks candy whether they're
good OR bad. He's not very judgmental.

Then we cut to the other side of the other side of the universe... okay, can this special choose a plotline to follow? Is this special about the blue-skinned guy and the cigar-smoking kid, the girl and her guide dog, Santa Claus, or... these things?

…did we suddenly enter an episode of Galaxy High School?

So, I'm guessing these two alien Casper-esque guys are the titular Soulmates (Wayne Robson and Shelia McCarthy). A giant floating pink bubble tells them that they're getting a distress call from one of Santa's reindeer. So I guess that rocket sleigh DIDN'T put the reindeer out of work after all...

He says that Santa flew the coop, and without Santa there won't be a Christmas. Oh, sure, people can still spend time with their families, go to the mall to buy gifts to give members of their families, and watch movies like A Christmas Story and Miracle on 34th Street... but without Santa coming down the chimney with presents, it just won't be Christmas!

"Help me, Soulmates. You're my only hope."

Then the bubble turns around, revealing itself to actually be the moon. Which is alive. And incredibly creepy-looking.

Though I know one way it could've been much creepier...

The creepy talking moon turns the Soulmates into balls of light, and then the three of them fly through the galaxy to Earth. Not shown - the moon's flying around wreaking havoc on our planet's tides. "Soulmates to the rescue!" one of the Soulmates shouts as they fly down to Earth.

Meanwhile, the reindeer are setting off to find Santa as Comet and the elves cheer them on. One of the elves just so happens to look exactly like that cigar-smoking kid we previously saw palling around with the blue-skinned guy earlier. Hmmm, I wonder if they could be one in the same?

"Oh, yeah, I'm TOTALLY an elf! Just ignore the fact that I don't have pointy ears."

And now, back to the girl and her Pongo lookalike dog. As the girl sleeps, the dog sadly packs his things and sneaks out because he thinks she'd be better off without him. The moon says that he hopes the Soulmates can help everyone overcome all that negative energy lurking around.

Speaking of the Soulmates, they run into Comet, who does what anyone would do upon seeing tiny aliens who look like Boo Berry had children with Tinker Bell would do - scream.

Who WOULDN'T be making that expression upon seeing those things?

The Soulmates tell Comet to just keep believing that he'll find Santa, and he will. And sure enough, a few seconds later, Comet spots Santa's sleigh. Huzzah!

At the moment, Santa is sitting down on a bench and striking up a conversation with Truman. Yes, apparently Santa can talk to animals. I don't know if he has this ability in any other Christmas specials...

"Don't tell anyone, but I'm really the Sultan of Agrabah. I had to get out of there - our palace
has been invaded by a scary blue CGI Will Smith desperately trying to be Robin Williams and failing!"

Comet and the male Soulmate locate Santa. Christmas is saved, right? Well, no. Santa moans that nobody believes in him or in the Christmas spirit. Mope mope mope mope mope. This entire special has basically just been watching characters mope. First the dog is moping that he's a lousy guide dog, then Santa is moping that nobody believes in him, then Comet is moping that they'll never find Santa and that Christmas is ruined... it's like a Christmas special written by Hardy Harr Harr.

Back at the North Pole, the elf who totally isn't that cigar-smoking kid who's one of the bad guys is telling the other elves that they need to find a new leader. After all, without this gig at the North Pole, the elves would be stuck making shoes, or baking cookies in a tree, or fighting against Orcs. But who could ever replace Santa? Hmmm... how about a blue-skinned shady-looking fella with a stereotypical twirly cartoon bad guy mustache and a Brooklyn accent?

"A runabout! I'll steal it! NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!"

Shady-Looking here reveals his name to be Angris McBragg (no relation to Commander McBragg) and that the elf who looks like that cigar-smoking kid he was hanging out with earlier is in fact that cigar-smoking kid he was hanging out with earlier. I know, big surprise. Oh, and his name is Thomas. DOUBTING Thomas, that is.

Angris wants to take over Christmas because [REASONS]. He wants the elves to make dolls in Doubting Thomas' likeness. The doll will make the children doubt themselves... somehow. Maybe it casts some sort of spell on them? Oh, and he captured the female Soulmate.

Are we going to get any explanation as to why his skin is blue? Is he secretly half-Smurf
or something?

As the elves get to work under the threat of being exposed to the doll's self-doubting powers themselves, we cut back to Santa, Truman, Comet, and the male Soulmate. The male Soulmate says that he can use his Soulmate powers to contact the female Soulmate, and then their combined powers will "see it, believe it, and make it come true". "It's called 'Magic Imagining'!" he says.

So he contacts the female Soulmate, who uses this "Magic Imagining" stuff to imagine herself helping Santa and Truman believe in themselves. Right after she does that, Angris uses the Doubting Thomas doll on her, allowing us to finally see just HOW, exactly, it makes kids doubt themselves. Apparently it has laser beam eyes that can hypnotize folks into thinking they're hopeless.

"Staring contest! You lose!"

The male Soulmate begs Comet, Santa, and Truman to help them with his "Magic Imagining". So Comet gives it a shot, which sends some pink pixie dust up to the moon, who in turn sends "Soulmate Energy" to where it's needed the most. It hits the female Soulmate, snapping her out of her self-doubting trance. It hits Doubting Thomas, too, turning him all nicey-nicey and removing his five o'clock shadow.

So now it's off to the North Pole to stop Angris, right? Nope, Santa is still in his funk. "I don't belong at the North Pole anymore," he insists. So Comet and the male Soulmate... okay, the Soulmates do indeed have names, the male one is named Orion and the female is named Orillia... head off to the North Pole by themselves. After they leave, the wind sends a letter addressed to Santa his and Truman's way - it's from the girl, asking Santa for her dog back. Only problem is, the girl didn't sign her name... which is Ella, by the way... but Santa's computer at the North Pole has some sort of letter-writer-identifying thing that can help them. But Santa doesn't have his glasses, and without them his eyes aren't that great, so he needs Truman to guide him back to the North Pole.

...wait, he's going to WALK all the way back to the North Pole? On foot? I don't know what state he landed in, but chances are it's not exactly within walking distance of the North Pole. Well, anyway, Truman says that maybe they can find their way back to the North Pole if they really, truly believe.

If the "really, truly believing" stuff doesn't work out, maybe they could hail a taxi or something?

The elves have finished making Angris' eeeeeeeeeeeeevil dolls, and since the reindeer aren't there to pull the sleigh, Angris declares that the ELVES will have to do it. How that's going to work seeing as there's no indication that the elves can fly, I don't know. Fortunately, Orion and Comet show up, followed by Santa and Truman. And Santa uses some "Soulmate Energy" to turn the Doubting Thomas dolls into NICE dolls who talks about how important it is to believe in yourself.

Santa apparently found his glasses offscreen, too.

And now that his evil plot has been foiled, Angris flees. No, really. He just flies off in his flying limo. No comeuppance. They don't even zap HIM with the "Soulmate Energy" and turn him nice. Um, okay then...

Santa sets off in his sleigh to do his rounds, Truman is reunited with Ella, the "believe in yourself" moral is reiterated, and the creepy moon makes another appearance. Now, quick, everybody "see, believe, and make come true" that world hunger has been solved.

Well? Has it?

What's the Verdict?

Honestly, I can see why this special didn't catch on. Is it a BAD special? No. It's perfectly fine for what it is. It's just... generic. There's nothing here that we haven't already seen in other animated Christmas specials. Santa doubting himself? Check. Mustache-twirling Christmas-hating villain? Check. Cutesy magical creatures who wind up saving Christmas? Check. Child with a disability? Check. Look at the Christmas specials on this list, most if not all of them include at least ONE of those things. On top of that, it's not a good sign when most of your special is just watching characters mope and moan about how hopeless everything is. It makes the special a chore to watch.

But like I said, the special isn't BAD. There are just far better Christmas specials out there.

* I'm perfectly aware that Platypus Comix's review of the special also made a joke about the bad guy being the founder of Twitter. I wrote this review before Platypus Comix wrote their (much better-written) review of it - remember, I write these reviews in advance. Just thought I'd make that clear because I don't want people to think I got lazy and stole jokes from Platypus Comix's review.

Animated Commercials Back From When Commercials Were Actually Fun - Part 3: The Christmas Edition

Didn't I say that the next one of these I would do would be a Christmas one? Huh? Didn't I?

One of the numerous great things about the holiday season are the commercials that air during it. Nowadays, you don't see as many animated Christmas commercials - mainly because you don't see as many animated commercials as a whole. I can't remember seeing one new animated Christmas commercial on TV this year. It's very weird.

Actually, most of the Christmas ads this year have been a letdown. Most of them are just needlessly depressing with nothing whimsical or Christmassy about them at all. Half the time when I'm watching TV I just see ads for pharmaceuticals. Because nothing says "Happy Holidays" like pharmaceuticals, am I right?

But I'm not here to complain. I'm here to share with you some great animated Christmas ads from over the years. My one rule for this post is that they have to be FULLY-ANIMATED, or at least MOSTLY-animated. Which, alas, means that I can't include the M&Ms Christmas ad, which is my personal favorite (I figured if I qualified THAT as animation, by that logic I'd have to qualify those POM "Worry Monster" ads as animated because the monsters in them are CGI. Where is the line drawn?).

I had to start with this one. This, along with the aforementioned M&Ms ad, is one of those ads that's been airing around the holiday season for years. It made its debut in 1989, and yet not a holiday season has gone by without it airing at least once. Not only that, but it's also one of the few commercials to have its own Wikipedia page.

This is a simple ad, and some of the best things in life are the simple ones. It was directed by Carl Willat at the animation studio Colossal Pictures. There are actually two versions of this ad - the original stop-motion one, and a 2012 updated version with CGI (that's the version we've seen on TV since then). I think it's scientifically impossible for someone to watch this ad without a smile on their face.

Unless it's the 2020 version of the ad where the kisses are interrupted by live action people. Don't think I wasn't just as upset with that as everyone else was. I still get really annoyed when they air THAT one on TV.

Ah, the Coca-Cola polar bears! How come you don't see them in ads anymore?

Anyway, this ad is one of many featuring the bears produced by Rhythm & Hues. A good chunk of them are Christmas ads - which makes sense, since we tend to associate arctic animals like polar bears with the holidays, what with them being in winter. It was difficult to choose which one to do... there's also one where the polar bears meet penguins, and one where the polar bears watch fireworks. You can find them on YouTube.

The bears were the idea of a Mr. Ken Stewart. First he thought of how people drink Coca-Cola at the movies, then he thought about how much his Labrador retriever looked like a polar bear. Putting those two thoughts together, he came up with the very first Coca-Cola polar bears ad, where the bears drink Coca-Cola while watching the Northern Lights.

Hope these bears make a comeback someday. At least let 'em appear in a Super Bowl commercial for old times' sake.

This 1999 Comcast commercial was directed by Bob Kurtz at Kurtz & Friends, an animation studio that I talked about before in my very first post about animated commercials. This studio has such a great art style that adds a natural charm to anything they produce, and I love how the ad goes from calm and serene to ROCK MUSIC just so suddenly. And this is coming from somebody who knows nothing about satellite dishes or how they work. And the reveal that the ad takes place on the front of a Christmas card is a nice touch.

It's been five years, and it still feels so weird to me that Snoopy isn't the mascot of MetLife anymore. I still associate the company with the character and it's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that he and the rest of the Peanuts gang aren't appearing in their ads. Maybe a good chunk of it stems from the fact that I don't think I've seen a single MetLife ad on TV since then (was MetLife's mindset "If we don't have a beloved cartoon character as our mascot, why bother making commercials?").

The Peanuts gang is another one of those things a lot of us associate with the holiday season (mainly due to their multiple Christmas specials), so it was only natural that MetLife would have them appear in their Christmas ad. It's here we learn that Charlie Brown and his friends aren't very good at charades.

Y'know, I never thought of Godzilla and King Kong as being the type of characters to star in a Christmas commercial, but clearly someone at Best Buy did, and I am incredibly grateful that they did. This is one of those Christmas ads that focuses more on humor than sentimentality. We don't get a lot of Christmas ads like that nowadays. Maybe because the world is a far less humorous place than it was in the 1990s.

It's not uncommon to see characters from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in commercials. They've appeared in ads for Aflac, Nissan, Denny's, CBS, Window's phones, Bing, AT&T, and - as seen here - Verizon. I'll admit that this ad does feel very spiteful. Directly mocking your competitors in your ads always does. Maybe Genesis really did what Nintendon't, but still...

Speaking of phone companies making fun of each other around the holidays, here's one of MANY ads that Alltel did in which their spokesperson, Chad, teams up with Santa Claus to stop the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil plans of Verizon, Sprint, AT&T, and T-Mobile employees to ruin Christmas. They did at least FOUR ads about this. FOUR. In fact, these characters (minus Santa) also appeared in live action ads! I don't know whether to roll my eyes at how petty this seems or laugh at it. I mean, there's a reason why Kellogg's doesn't do cereal commercials where the Trix Rabbit, Sonny the Cocoa Puffs Bird, and the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee attempt to blow up the Earth only to get beaten up by Tony the Tiger and Toucan Sam.

Okay, back to the feel-good ads. I would make a "how do they celebrate Christmas in prehistoric times" joke, but a million others have done that already. So instead, let's talk about how nice it is to see Fred and Barney actually share the cereal for once. Usually, Fruity Pebbles ads go like this: Barney disguises himself and tries to trick Fred out of his cereal instead of just buying his own box of it. Fred is fooled, but then discovers it's Barney and chases after him. Barney's apparently supposed to be the one we root for. This time? Santa gently urges them to share, and instead of cheering Fred on as he pursues Barney we feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Interestingly, this ad first came out in the 1980s, but in the 1990s they redubbed it with Frank Welker as Barney and Jim Cummings as Santa. I've included both versions here.

This Kellogg's ad from the 1980s is another one that gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. I always like seeing advertising mascots gather together to have fun (showing us that, y'know, they do have lives outside of hocking their cereal or dealing with kids that want to steal it). The warm color scheme, the peaceful music, and Thurl Ravenscroft's gentle performance as Tony combine to make another ad that you can't watch without smiling. In a perfect world, this would be one of those ads that they air once every holiday season. Problem is, most of these characters haven't appeared in a commercial in decades (because cereal commercials aren't allowed to be fun anymore as a result of people blaming them for their kids becoming fat).

This is a more recent Christmas ad (from around 2018, I think?). Stop-motion and Christmas go together like hot chocolate and marshmallows, so it's only natural that so many Christmas commercials are done in stop-motion. This one features LeBron James, hawking Sprite Cranberry... a drink that I have never tasted. Considering I like Sprite and I also like cranberry juice, I should really try it at some point.

Look at this beautiful hand-drawn animation. This ad, for the British department store John Lewis, features animation by Disney animators Dominic Carola and Aaron Blaise - the latter of whom co-directed Brother Bear, which explains why the ad feels so much like that movie. More than anything, this commercial really makes me wish that Disney would do a hand-drawn animated film again. It helps that the ad tells a very touching, makes you all warm and fuzzy inside story... am I starting to repeat myself?

Side note, I can't hear the song "Somewhere Only We Know" without thinking of the 2011 Winnie the Pooh movie. I remember the trailer for that featured the song.

Okay, I recognize this art style. It took me a second to figure out WHERE, but then it occurred to me - I'd seen characters that looked just like the ones in this ad in issues of Disney Adventures magazine! Is this the same artist? And if so, what is their name?! Could somebody please help me out with this?

Anyhow, Applebee's rarely does animated commercials. This was one of their rare ventures into the world of moving drawings. It encourages you to get somebody an Applebee's gift card for Christmas. Just hope that they don't prefer TGI Friday's.

Speaking of Applebee's, I gotta ask... do they still have all the pennants and posters and stuff hanging on the walls in 'em? What about the carousel horses in between the booths? I haven't been to an Applebee's in years, I legitimately have no idea...

This ad is for Walt Disney World's annual "Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party"... which I don't think I've ever been to. The animation here is by Eric Goldberg, who's one of my favorite animators. So there's no way I wasn't going to include it in this post.

Here's another one by Kurtz & Friends, this one for Milton Bradley games and ALSO featuring Santa Claus and his reindeer. I love the design of the reindeer here (they sort of remind me of Pony from It's Pony, if anyone is familiar with that show). Like I said before, this studio's art style just has a natural charm to it. And no matter what decade you were born in, this ad is bound to make you nostalgic - because who HASN'T played at least ONE of these games at some point?

One company that's really gotten better at their Christmas ads nowadays is Honda... or at least HAD gotten better at their Christmas ads. This year they just did a dull live action ad. But for a few years before 2022, they used stop-motion in their holiday commercials because, as we've established, stop-motion and Christmas go together like hot chocolate and marshmallows (which likely stems from the fact that so many animated Christmas specials are done in stop-motion). I've always liked their ads with iconic toys like Strawberry Shortcake, Gumby, GI Joe, and the Care Bears shilling for cars, but those are live action with stop-motion characters so I couldn't include them in this post. But they've also done plenty of entirely stop-motion ads like this one that I could put on the list. Thus...

Oh, goody, another cereal ad! In the 1990s, Cookie Crisp's mascots were Irish-accented cop Officer Crumb, the cereal-stealing Cookie Crook, and his dog Chip. Their shtick was that Cookie Crook, like many other cereal mascots, would try to steal Cookie Crisp, but Officer Crumb wouldn't allow that. This here ad is similar to the Fruity Pebbles ad we've already looked at, except this time the actual Santa Claus doesn't show up. It's nice to see even the closest thing there's ever been to a villainous cereal mascot can get some happiness around the holidays.

For those wondering, the reason why you don't see these three characters in Cookie Crisp ads nowadays is because... well, for one thing, do they even still DO Cookie Crisp ads? I can't remember the last time I've seen one on TV... but also, around 2000 the folks in charge of the Cookie Crisp ads decided to ditch Cookie Crook and Officer Crumb and just have Chip be the mascot. Then at some point they replaced him with a wolf who basically does the Trix Rabbit's shtick.

Okay, this one does have a bit of live action in it, but the majority of it is animated so I'm putting it on the list.

Who doesn't love Chuck Jones' adaptation of How the Grinch Stole Christmas? This ad, directed by Frank Molieri at Acme Filmworks, apes the special's animation style extremely well. It actually makes me wonder why they haven't done more ads with the Chuck Jones verison of the Grinch - oh, there ARE other ads where the Grinch appears, but they all either use the 2000 live action version of the Grinch or the 2018 Illumination version of the Grinch. Very odd, seeing as he's just as iconic a Christmas character as Rudolph...

So that's a bunch of animated ads that celebrate the holiday season. With any luck, animated Christmas commercials will make a comeback at some point.

Let's Watch This: "Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas" (1999)

Well, I've looked at one Christmas production starring one of the world's two most iconic cartoon characters... guess it's only fair that I look at ANOTHER Christmas production starring the OTHER most iconic cartoon character!

Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas was released on November 9th, 1999, produced by Walt Disney Television Animation. The film features three Christmas stories starring Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, and their friends. It's a charming little film, and while hardly the most well-known of Disney's direct-to-video output, it's nonetheless well-liked enough for channels like Disney Junior and Freeform to air it around the holidays.

So let's give it a watch!

The film begins on a starry winter night. As our narrator, Kelsey Grammer, starts rambling about how magical Christmas is, some pixie dust emerges from one star and floats down to a house. I'm not sure whose house it is. Probably not Mickey, Donald or Goofy's...

Maybe it's the narrator's, but I highly doubt that Kelsey Grammer's house looks like
this in real life...

The pixie dust enters the house (apparently pixie dust can turn doorknobs, who knew?), sets some logs in the fireplace aflame, lights some candles and then turns on all the lights on the Christmas tree. I would love it if whoever owned this house came downstairs and saw all of this going on. They'd probably be really confused.

Anyhow, the pixie dust then conjures up three gifts under the tree: a toy sailboat, a teddy bear, and a toy sleigh. The boat, Kelsey Grammer explains, "Tells a story for us all to hear about laughter and family, and those we hold dear. We love Christmas so much, we want it to stay... but what if we wished it was here every day?"

No, seriously, who owns this house? I want answers.

Thus begins the first segment, "Donald Duck in Stuck on Christmas"... which actually focuses on Huey, Dewey and Louie. False advertising!

Huey (voiced by Russi Taylor), Dewey (also Russi Taylor) and Louie (Russi Taylor again) wake up on Christmas morning excited to go downstairs and open some presents. Donald (Tony Anselmo) is also awake, and upon seeing the boys opening their presents is so startled that he is subjected to WHACKY SHENANIGANS!

Do you think it ever gets weird for Donald to cook eggs? I mean, he's a duck. He
was BORN from an egg. Does he make sure there aren't any ducklings in the eggs
before he cooks them?

Donald is initially steamed that the boys didn't wait for the rest of the family to show up before opening their presents, but all it takes is for them to say "Sorry, Uncle Donald..." for him to forgive them. And he has a special surprise for them - sleds!

The boys rush to the door to do some sledding, but the rest of the family is standing out front to greet them. Specifically, Daisy (Tress MacNeille), Scrooge McDuck (the soothing tones of Alan Young), and, um, this lady.

Who is this? We've never seen her in any previous Donald Duck productions.
And why does she look like Gus Goose in drag?

The boys spend most of the day sledding, and soon it's time for them to gather with the rest of the family around the dinner table to eat... turkey. Yes, ducks are eating a turkey. I know ducks and turkeys aren't the same thing, but still, it's birds eating a bird. Isn't that cannibalism?

I mean, it's not like we humans scarf down a roast chimpanzee for Thanksgiving dinner...

After dinner, the nephews play with their toys while the rest of the family sings "We Wish You a Merry Christmas". The boys have had such a great day that they don't ever want it to end, so they wish upon a star for it to be Christmas every day. And I guess the... Wishing Star Gods or whatever hear them, because when they wake up the next morning they discover that it is indeed Christmas every day. Say, didn't The Fairly OddParents do this exact same plot? As did that Sesame Street special Elmo Saves Christmas?

Huey, Dewey and Louie's reactions to the DuckTales reboot.

And apparently Huey, Dewey and Louie are the only ones who find the "Christmas being every day" thing odd, because everybody else acts exactly the same as they did the previous day. Donald makes the exact same pancakes, the fat aunt who we've never seen before gives the boys the exact same kisses, Daisy cooks the exact same turkey, Scrooge plays the exact same song on the piano, Chip (Tress MacNeille) and Dale (Corey Burton) are playing with the exact same train... oh, yes, I forgot to mention that Chip and Dale are in this movie...

The next day goes the exact same way. And the day after that. And the day after that. This goes on for who knows how long. And eventually Huey, Dewey and Louie are tired of all the present-opening and piano-playing and cannibalism-partaking-in. Huey is so annoyed by it that he freezes Chip and Dale alive.

"I WAS FROZEN TODAY!"

For whatever reason, it doesn't occur to the boys to just wish on a star for it NOT to be Christmas every day... after all, that's how they got into this mess in the first place. Instead, they decide to "liven things up".

First they make Donald trip on a remote-controlled car. Then they don scuba suits so they won't get soaked by the fat aunt's sloppy kisses. I'm not one hundred percent sure what their plan is here... what, is their mindset that if they can't enjoy Christmas, then NOBODY can?

But what REALLY ruins Christmas for everyone is their decision to swap out the roast turkey for a LIVE one. The turkey (Frank Welker) runs amok, and as Donald gives chase things wind up getting destroyed. For example, did you know that running across a piano's keys will automatically cause it to fall apart? I didn't.

Question - how come in this world, ducks are anthropomorphic but turkeys aren't? Granted, I guess this is sort of in the same category as the Goofy and Pluto thing...

"YOU GOTTA HIDE ME! THERE'S A RODNEY DANGERFIELD-VOICED DOG
FOLLOWING ME AROUND TELLING ME UNFUNNY JOKES ABOUT MY BEING EDIBLE!"

The turkey winds up getting stuck in the chimney... wearing a Santa suit all of a sudden... and we get the movie's first big "tug at the heartstrings" moment. All the lighting is dark blue and everyone looks sad... the tree falls on top of Donald because [REASONS]... everyone's unhappy, except the three little sociopaths that are Huey, Dewey and Louie, who run over to the closet to grab their sleighs and get out of their before Donald blows his stack... but then they notice how sad Donald is.

This is even worse than the time the boys wished for it to be St. Patrick's Day
every day. Poor Donald got into so many bar fights...

This makes Huey, Dewey and Louie realize that they're pond scum, and then the card that came with those sleds lands on Louie's head. Reading it, they discover that it features a poem from Donald and Daisy about how Christmas isn't about the presents or the decorations, it's about love and caring for others. You might remember this moral from every other Christmas movie ever made.

The boys vow to make the next day the best Christmas ever to make up for their being horrible little squirts. They give Chip and Dale a bag of acorns, make breakfast for Donald, and kiss the fat aunt themselves. And this time, the turkey is invited to share Christmas dinner with them - they're having ham! I guess Daisy realized that they were cannibals.

I guess now we know what happened to Peter Pig...

They even join in on the caroling! However, Donald is suspicious as to why the boys are acting so nicey-nicey... until they surprise him with a boat that they made for him, using the wood from the sleds.

All together now - D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW...

And now that Huey, Dewey and Louie have learned the true meaning of Christmas, the Wishing Star Gods decide not to make it Christmas every day anymore. But what ISN'T over is Donald being subjected to WHACKY SHENANIGANS!

Well, nobody ever said that the nephews were good at carpentry...

Kelsey Grammer sums up the moral of the story - if Christmas were every day, it wouldn't be special anymore. But what about the teddy bear? What story does THAT relate to?

Well, our next segment is called "A Very Goofy Christmas", starring the best (in my opinion) of the "Fab Five" as they're often called - Goofy (Bill Farmer). And his son, Max (Shaun Fleming), here portrayed as being even younger than he was in Goof Troop. The segment begins with them finishing up their letter to Santa... just in time to see the mail truck drive away. To catch up with it, they must take a shortcut through the mall, resulting in - you guessed it - WHACKY SHENANIGANS!

Not pictured - some random guy with glasses getting pummeled by a giant ornament.
Don't worry, he's not hurt - there are benefits to being a cartoon character.

After some Indiana Jones references, Goofy lands in the mail truck just in time to give the driver (Jim Cummings) their letter. It looks like Max is going to get that snowboard he wants from Santa after all.

But wait! We need something to add a bit of conflict to this story... how about Pete (Jim Cummings), Goofy's next door neighbor? He tells Max that Santa Claus is just an "urbane myth", like that "Loch Mess Monstrosity" and "the fella that brings the sweepstake checks". After all, he's been around the world, to many foreign lands, and he's never seen any sign of Santa Claus or his flying reindeer. Yes, apparently Pete is quite the world traveler. Who knew?

Why is Pete brown here? Isn't his fur usually black?

Max laments to Goofy that he just heard there is no Santa Claus. When Goofy learns Pete told him that, he turns the audience and says, "That figures." A rare moment of self-awareness from Goofy. But he insists that there IS a Santa Claus - if there wasn't, there would be a lot of unemployed elves running around. "Believe me, Santa won't let you down," he says. Alas, Pete's words are still taking up space in Max's head.

That's weird, I don't remember there being a gigantic floating Pete head next to
Africa on any of the maps I've seen...

Goofy is subjected to more WHACKY SHENANIGANS, then he and Max go deliver food to a family less fortunate than them. It's a very sweet scene, culminating in Goofy coming down the chimney dressed as Santa... and for whatever reason, Max doesn't recognize his father's voice and assumes that it's the real Santa Claus.

"Where are your reindeer and your flying machine?"
"Oh, uh, I loaned 'em to the Easter Bunny..."

Upon discovering that this "Santa" is actually Goofy, Max becomes convinced that there is no Santa Claus. So just because this Santa wasn't the actual Santa, he thinks Pete is right? Of course Goofy couldn't get the ACTUAL Santa - he's busy enough already on Christmas Eve! If Goofy had decided to dress as, say, Mickey Mouse, and then Max found out that it wasn't the actual Mickey Mouse, would he have been convinced that Mickey doesn't exist in his world?

Back home, Goofy tries to cheer up Max by bringing out his old stuffed bear creatively named Old Stuffed Bear, a present from Santa Claus. It doesn't work.

...hey, wait a minute! That teddy bear doesn't look anything like the teddy bear we saw at the beginning of the movie! They're not the same bear! Kelsey Grammer LIED to us!

Goofy's never been much of a puppeteer.

Max demands that Goofy provide proof of Santa's existence, so Goofy takes him up to the roof. "When Santy shows up, we'll be here to greet him!" he exclaims. "And then, I'll snap a picture of him, and you'll always have the photographic evidence!" By 1:00 AM, Max has gone inside, but Goofy is still outside waiting. He even shovels the words "DON'T FORGET MAX" in the snow. But wait - who's that fat guy with the sack flung over his shoulder climbing out of a chimney at a nearby house?

Oh, wait. False alarm. It's just one of the Beagle Boys.

Wah wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

So now Goofy's run out of faith too. Max tries to cheer him up, but it doesn't do any good. There's only one solution - Max must dress up like Santa and come down the chimney. And yes, Goofy believes that he is, indeed, the real Santa. Granted, Goofy's never been the sharpest tool in the shed, so...

"Santy! You sure look a lot like my son, Max!"

Okay, you know the drill... eventually "Santa" is revealed to actually be Max, and he says that he just wanted to make Goofy happy. "I might've let you down, but you sure didn't let ME down," Goofy insists, hugging his son. And guess who finally shows up? Why, Santa Claus (Jim Cummings), of course! He sure took his sweet time.

"Ho, ho, ho! Sorry I took so long, fellas! I knew I shouldn't have taken that left turn
at Albuquerque!"

Max gets his snowboard, and Pete gets his comeuppance for messing with Max's mind via Santa dumping snow all over his house. "BUT WHAT ABOUT MY SQUIRTY GUN AND MY YOOOOOOO-YOOOOOO?!" he whines. "I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!" But wait - what about Goofy's gift? "Every year, I ask for the same gift," he tells Max. "And every year, I get it... your happiness."

See, this is why I love these "Goofy as a dad" stories. They really give Goofy depth, showing us that he's not just the scatterbrained dunce he seems on the surface. He's a gentle, kindhearted soul and a loving father. And I also have to give major props towards Bill Farmer for his performances in these sort of productions. By the way, I'm really glad they didn't have the story just be "Max is embarrassed by his dad but then realizes that he's awesome and that he's lucky to have him even if he is goofy". That's their go-to plot whenever we get one of these Goofy and Max stories.

But enough about Goofy, where the heck is Mickey? You know, the character whose NAME IS IN THE TITLE? Well, he stars in the third short, "Mickey and Minnie's Gift of the Magi". This one begins with Mickey (Wayne Allwine) and Pluto (Bill Farmer) skipping through town early Christmas Eve morning. Mickey gives some exposition - he wants to buy Minnie (Russi Taylor) a gold chain to go with her watch, but first he has to deliver Minnie a Christmas tree.

Gee, I sure hope Mickey has the money to afford that gold chain. It would sure be
a shame if he had to sell something to afford it... for example, that harmonica...

At the moment, Minnie is having some financial troubles herself. "How will I ever afford to buy Mickey a present?" she asks her kitten, Figaro (Frank Welker). When Mickey shows up with the tree, she brings attention to the fact that his harmonica needs a case. But there's no time for that now, she has to go to work - as does Mickey. Minnie works at a department store called Mortimer's, Mickey works at a tree lot run by Pete.

Boy, he must really need money if he's willing to work for Pete. You'd think being the mascot of a multi-million dollar corporation would pay better...

Oh, and NOW Pete's fur is black. Did they just run out of black paint while they were
doing the Goofy segment or something?

A family shows up at the lot to buy a tree. Pete tries to sucker them into buying an expensive ten-footer, but Mickey offers them a smaller and presumably less expensive tree. Despite the fact that Pete still gets money out of it, he is MAD! So mad, in fact, that he takes all of Mickey's money before throwing him and Pluto off the lot and into a snowbank. Fortunately, karma rears its ugly head... Pete sticks the money and his lit cigar into his pocket like a massive idiot, and while he's running around screaming about how his rump is being roasted he sits on a can of glue... which then proceeds to rocket him high into the air and causes a massive explosion, with flames raining down onto the trees, setting them all on fire. The moral of today's story - don't stick a lit cigar into your pocket, you moron.

Don't worry, Pete. It's just the Aurora Borealis.

Then we cut to Minnie and Daisy (who is now voiced by Diane Michelle as opposed to Tress MacNeille) hard at work at Mortimer's. Minnie tells Daisy what we already know - she wants to get Mickey something special, so she really needs that Christmas bonus. But what luck! Mr. Mortimer (Jeff Bennett) wants to see her in his office right away!

Interesting fact - I believe this was Mortimer Mouse's first appearance in a Disney production since his debut in the short Mickey's Rival back in 1936 (if I'm wrong about that, please fill me in). Since then he's appeared in Mickey Mouse Works, House of Mouse, and several other productions. This version of Mortimer, however, is very different from the Mortimer we see in those other productions. Instead of Mickey's cocky rival for Minnie's affections who goes "Ha cha cha!" a lot, he's Minnie's snooty British-accented boss. Kinda makes you wonder why they even used Mortimer for this role.

You ever notice that Mortimer kind of looks like Chuck E. Cheese? I think it's the nose...

Anyhow, Mortimer rewards Minnie for her hard work with her Christmas bonus. Alas, it turns out not to be money. It's a fruitcake.

Look on the bright side, Minnie. You could always throw it at Mortimer's head.

So now Minnie and Mickey BOTH lack the money needed to get the other a present. Not far away from the bench that Mickey is sitting on, the folks at a Charity Toy Drive are having a problem too... you see, the fire department was supposed to play some music at the drive, but they're busy putting out the fire at the tree lot. And without a band, nobody in town will come by to donate toys. Fortunately, the Chief of Police (Jim Cummings) overhears Mickey's harmonica-playing and enlists his help to drive (get it?) people to the toy drive.

Mickey begins playing his harmonica, attracting the attention of several townsfolk... one of whom is Winnie the Pooh's friend Owl. What's he doing here?

And why is it so weird seeing Owl wearing clothes?

Eventually the firefighters show up to provide some musical accompaniment, and the townsfolk start donating toys. Thanks to Mickey, the toy drive is a big success, and Mickey and Pluto make it to the shop where that gold chain is for sale... just in time to see it close up for the night. Granted, it's not like Mickey had the money to buy the chain anyway, but he asks the shop owner (Jim Cummings) if he can trade his harmonica for it. The owner initially declines, but after hearing him play it, he's all "It's a deal!".

Cut to Christmas at Minnie's house... or at least I'm guessing it's Minnie's house. It could actually be Minnie's. Pluto gets a bone, Figaro gets a ball of yarn, Mickey gives Minnie the chain, and Minnie gives Mickey a case for his harmonica. Y'know, the one he traded for the chain. Coincidentally, Minnie traded her watch to get the case. But they have each other and that's the important thing.

Let's say it again - D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW...

Kelsey Grammer recaps the moral of each segment: love is what makes Christmas so great. The movie ends with Mickey, Minnie, Pluto, Max, Goofy, Donald, Daisy, Huey, Dewey, and Louie gathering together to sing a medley of Christmas carols.

And nobody cares about what Clarabelle Cow, Horace Horsecollar, and Clara Cluck
are doing for THEIR Christmas.

What's the Verdict?

If you haven't seen Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas already, I'd recommend giving it a watch. It's got nice animation, some funny gags, great voice acting, and a lot of heart to it. It's definitely one of Disney's better direct-to-video films from the 1990s. Not that it has very stiff competition.

My one complaint about the film? It spawned a crummy sequel five years later:

But we'll look at that one another time.