Let's Watch This: "Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas" (1999)

Well, I've looked at one Christmas production starring one of the world's two most iconic cartoon characters... guess it's only fair that I look at ANOTHER Christmas production starring the OTHER most iconic cartoon character!

Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas was released on November 9th, 1999, produced by Walt Disney Television Animation. The film features three Christmas stories starring Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, and their friends. It's a charming little film, and while hardly the most well-known of Disney's direct-to-video output, it's nonetheless well-liked enough for channels like Disney Junior and Freeform to air it around the holidays.

So let's give it a watch!

The film begins on a starry winter night. As our narrator, Kelsey Grammer, starts rambling about how magical Christmas is, some pixie dust emerges from one star and floats down to a house. I'm not sure whose house it is. Probably not Mickey, Donald or Goofy's...

Maybe it's the narrator's, but I highly doubt that Kelsey Grammer's house looks like
this in real life...

The pixie dust enters the house (apparently pixie dust can turn doorknobs, who knew?), sets some logs in the fireplace aflame, lights some candles and then turns on all the lights on the Christmas tree. I would love it if whoever owned this house came downstairs and saw all of this going on. They'd probably be really confused.

Anyhow, the pixie dust then conjures up three gifts under the tree: a toy sailboat, a teddy bear, and a toy sleigh. The boat, Kelsey Grammer explains, "Tells a story for us all to hear about laughter and family, and those we hold dear. We love Christmas so much, we want it to stay... but what if we wished it was here every day?"

No, seriously, who owns this house? I want answers.

Thus begins the first segment, "Donald Duck in Stuck on Christmas"... which actually focuses on Huey, Dewey and Louie. False advertising!

Huey (voiced by Russi Taylor), Dewey (also Russi Taylor) and Louie (Russi Taylor again) wake up on Christmas morning excited to go downstairs and open some presents. Donald (Tony Anselmo) is also awake, and upon seeing the boys opening their presents is so startled that he is subjected to WHACKY SHENANIGANS!

Do you think it ever gets weird for Donald to cook eggs? I mean, he's a duck. He
was BORN from an egg. Does he make sure there aren't any ducklings in the eggs
before he cooks them?

Donald is initially steamed that the boys didn't wait for the rest of the family to show up before opening their presents, but all it takes is for them to say "Sorry, Uncle Donald..." for him to forgive them. And he has a special surprise for them - sleds!

The boys rush to the door to do some sledding, but the rest of the family is standing out front to greet them. Specifically, Daisy (Tress MacNeille), Scrooge McDuck (the soothing tones of Alan Young), and, um, this lady.

Who is this? We've never seen her in any previous Donald Duck productions.
And why does she look like Gus Goose in drag?

The boys spend most of the day sledding, and soon it's time for them to gather with the rest of the family around the dinner table to eat... turkey. Yes, ducks are eating a turkey. I know ducks and turkeys aren't the same thing, but still, it's birds eating a bird. Isn't that cannibalism?

I mean, it's not like we humans scarf down a roast chimpanzee for Thanksgiving dinner...

After dinner, the nephews play with their toys while the rest of the family sings "We Wish You a Merry Christmas". The boys have had such a great day that they don't ever want it to end, so they wish upon a star for it to be Christmas every day. And I guess the... Wishing Star Gods or whatever hear them, because when they wake up the next morning they discover that it is indeed Christmas every day. Say, didn't The Fairly OddParents do this exact same plot? As did that Sesame Street special Elmo Saves Christmas?

Huey, Dewey and Louie's reactions to the DuckTales reboot.

And apparently Huey, Dewey and Louie are the only ones who find the "Christmas being every day" thing odd, because everybody else acts exactly the same as they did the previous day. Donald makes the exact same pancakes, the fat aunt who we've never seen before gives the boys the exact same kisses, Daisy cooks the exact same turkey, Scrooge plays the exact same song on the piano, Chip (Tress MacNeille) and Dale (Corey Burton) are playing with the exact same train... oh, yes, I forgot to mention that Chip and Dale are in this movie...

The next day goes the exact same way. And the day after that. And the day after that. This goes on for who knows how long. And eventually Huey, Dewey and Louie are tired of all the present-opening and piano-playing and cannibalism-partaking-in. Huey is so annoyed by it that he freezes Chip and Dale alive.

"I WAS FROZEN TODAY!"

For whatever reason, it doesn't occur to the boys to just wish on a star for it NOT to be Christmas every day... after all, that's how they got into this mess in the first place. Instead, they decide to "liven things up".

First they make Donald trip on a remote-controlled car. Then they don scuba suits so they won't get soaked by the fat aunt's sloppy kisses. I'm not one hundred percent sure what their plan is here... what, is their mindset that if they can't enjoy Christmas, then NOBODY can?

But what REALLY ruins Christmas for everyone is their decision to swap out the roast turkey for a LIVE one. The turkey (Frank Welker) runs amok, and as Donald gives chase things wind up getting destroyed. For example, did you know that running across a piano's keys will automatically cause it to fall apart? I didn't.

Question - how come in this world, ducks are anthropomorphic but turkeys aren't? Granted, I guess this is sort of in the same category as the Goofy and Pluto thing...

"YOU GOTTA HIDE ME! THERE'S A RODNEY DANGERFIELD-VOICED DOG
FOLLOWING ME AROUND TELLING ME UNFUNNY JOKES ABOUT MY BEING EDIBLE!"

The turkey winds up getting stuck in the chimney... wearing a Santa suit all of a sudden... and we get the movie's first big "tug at the heartstrings" moment. All the lighting is dark blue and everyone looks sad... the tree falls on top of Donald because [REASONS]... everyone's unhappy, except the three little sociopaths that are Huey, Dewey and Louie, who run over to the closet to grab their sleighs and get out of their before Donald blows his stack... but then they notice how sad Donald is.

This is even worse than the time the boys wished for it to be St. Patrick's Day
every day. Poor Donald got into so many bar fights...

This makes Huey, Dewey and Louie realize that they're pond scum, and then the card that came with those sleds lands on Louie's head. Reading it, they discover that it features a poem from Donald and Daisy about how Christmas isn't about the presents or the decorations, it's about love and caring for others. You might remember this moral from every other Christmas movie ever made.

The boys vow to make the next day the best Christmas ever to make up for their being horrible little squirts. They give Chip and Dale a bag of acorns, make breakfast for Donald, and kiss the fat aunt themselves. And this time, the turkey is invited to share Christmas dinner with them - they're having ham! I guess Daisy realized that they were cannibals.

I guess now we know what happened to Peter Pig...

They even join in on the caroling! However, Donald is suspicious as to why the boys are acting so nicey-nicey... until they surprise him with a boat that they made for him, using the wood from the sleds.

All together now - D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW...

And now that Huey, Dewey and Louie have learned the true meaning of Christmas, the Wishing Star Gods decide not to make it Christmas every day anymore. But what ISN'T over is Donald being subjected to WHACKY SHENANIGANS!

Well, nobody ever said that the nephews were good at carpentry...

Kelsey Grammer sums up the moral of the story - if Christmas were every day, it wouldn't be special anymore. But what about the teddy bear? What story does THAT relate to?

Well, our next segment is called "A Very Goofy Christmas", starring the best (in my opinion) of the "Fab Five" as they're often called - Goofy (Bill Farmer). And his son, Max (Shaun Fleming), here portrayed as being even younger than he was in Goof Troop. The segment begins with them finishing up their letter to Santa... just in time to see the mail truck drive away. To catch up with it, they must take a shortcut through the mall, resulting in - you guessed it - WHACKY SHENANIGANS!

Not pictured - some random guy with glasses getting pummeled by a giant ornament.
Don't worry, he's not hurt - there are benefits to being a cartoon character.

After some Indiana Jones references, Goofy lands in the mail truck just in time to give the driver (Jim Cummings) their letter. It looks like Max is going to get that snowboard he wants from Santa after all.

But wait! We need something to add a bit of conflict to this story... how about Pete (Jim Cummings), Goofy's next door neighbor? He tells Max that Santa Claus is just an "urbane myth", like that "Loch Mess Monstrosity" and "the fella that brings the sweepstake checks". After all, he's been around the world, to many foreign lands, and he's never seen any sign of Santa Claus or his flying reindeer. Yes, apparently Pete is quite the world traveler. Who knew?

Why is Pete brown here? Isn't his fur usually black?

Max laments to Goofy that he just heard there is no Santa Claus. When Goofy learns Pete told him that, he turns the audience and says, "That figures." A rare moment of self-awareness from Goofy. But he insists that there IS a Santa Claus - if there wasn't, there would be a lot of unemployed elves running around. "Believe me, Santa won't let you down," he says. Alas, Pete's words are still taking up space in Max's head.

That's weird, I don't remember there being a gigantic floating Pete head next to
Africa on any of the maps I've seen...

Goofy is subjected to more WHACKY SHENANIGANS, then he and Max go deliver food to a family less fortunate than them. It's a very sweet scene, culminating in Goofy coming down the chimney dressed as Santa... and for whatever reason, Max doesn't recognize his father's voice and assumes that it's the real Santa Claus.

"Where are your reindeer and your flying machine?"
"Oh, uh, I loaned 'em to the Easter Bunny..."

Upon discovering that this "Santa" is actually Goofy, Max becomes convinced that there is no Santa Claus. So just because this Santa wasn't the actual Santa, he thinks Pete is right? Of course Goofy couldn't get the ACTUAL Santa - he's busy enough already on Christmas Eve! If Goofy had decided to dress as, say, Mickey Mouse, and then Max found out that it wasn't the actual Mickey Mouse, would he have been convinced that Mickey doesn't exist in his world?

Back home, Goofy tries to cheer up Max by bringing out his old stuffed bear creatively named Old Stuffed Bear, a present from Santa Claus. It doesn't work.

...hey, wait a minute! That teddy bear doesn't look anything like the teddy bear we saw at the beginning of the movie! They're not the same bear! Kelsey Grammer LIED to us!

Goofy's never been much of a puppeteer.

Max demands that Goofy provide proof of Santa's existence, so Goofy takes him up to the roof. "When Santy shows up, we'll be here to greet him!" he exclaims. "And then, I'll snap a picture of him, and you'll always have the photographic evidence!" By 1:00 AM, Max has gone inside, but Goofy is still outside waiting. He even shovels the words "DON'T FORGET MAX" in the snow. But wait - who's that fat guy with the sack flung over his shoulder climbing out of a chimney at a nearby house?

Oh, wait. False alarm. It's just one of the Beagle Boys.

Wah wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

So now Goofy's run out of faith too. Max tries to cheer him up, but it doesn't do any good. There's only one solution - Max must dress up like Santa and come down the chimney. And yes, Goofy believes that he is, indeed, the real Santa. Granted, Goofy's never been the sharpest tool in the shed, so...

"Santy! You sure look a lot like my son, Max!"

Okay, you know the drill... eventually "Santa" is revealed to actually be Max, and he says that he just wanted to make Goofy happy. "I might've let you down, but you sure didn't let ME down," Goofy insists, hugging his son. And guess who finally shows up? Why, Santa Claus (Jim Cummings), of course! He sure took his sweet time.

"Ho, ho, ho! Sorry I took so long, fellas! I knew I shouldn't have taken that left turn
at Albuquerque!"

Max gets his snowboard, and Pete gets his comeuppance for messing with Max's mind via Santa dumping snow all over his house. "BUT WHAT ABOUT MY SQUIRTY GUN AND MY YOOOOOOO-YOOOOOO?!" he whines. "I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!" But wait - what about Goofy's gift? "Every year, I ask for the same gift," he tells Max. "And every year, I get it... your happiness."

See, this is why I love these "Goofy as a dad" stories. They really give Goofy depth, showing us that he's not just the scatterbrained dunce he seems on the surface. He's a gentle, kindhearted soul and a loving father. And I also have to give major props towards Bill Farmer for his performances in these sort of productions. By the way, I'm really glad they didn't have the story just be "Max is embarrassed by his dad but then realizes that he's awesome and that he's lucky to have him even if he is goofy". That's their go-to plot whenever we get one of these Goofy and Max stories.

But enough about Goofy, where the heck is Mickey? You know, the character whose NAME IS IN THE TITLE? Well, he stars in the third short, "Mickey and Minnie's Gift of the Magi". This one begins with Mickey (Wayne Allwine) and Pluto (Bill Farmer) skipping through town early Christmas Eve morning. Mickey gives some exposition - he wants to buy Minnie (Russi Taylor) a gold chain to go with her watch, but first he has to deliver Minnie a Christmas tree.

Gee, I sure hope Mickey has the money to afford that gold chain. It would sure be
a shame if he had to sell something to afford it... for example, that harmonica...

At the moment, Minnie is having some financial troubles herself. "How will I ever afford to buy Mickey a present?" she asks her kitten, Figaro (Frank Welker). When Mickey shows up with the tree, she brings attention to the fact that his harmonica needs a case. But there's no time for that now, she has to go to work - as does Mickey. Minnie works at a department store called Mortimer's, Mickey works at a tree lot run by Pete.

Boy, he must really need money if he's willing to work for Pete. You'd think being the mascot of a multi-million dollar corporation would pay better...

Oh, and NOW Pete's fur is black. Did they just run out of black paint while they were
doing the Goofy segment or something?

A family shows up at the lot to buy a tree. Pete tries to sucker them into buying an expensive ten-footer, but Mickey offers them a smaller and presumably less expensive tree. Despite the fact that Pete still gets money out of it, he is MAD! So mad, in fact, that he takes all of Mickey's money before throwing him and Pluto off the lot and into a snowbank. Fortunately, karma rears its ugly head... Pete sticks the money and his lit cigar into his pocket like a massive idiot, and while he's running around screaming about how his rump is being roasted he sits on a can of glue... which then proceeds to rocket him high into the air and causes a massive explosion, with flames raining down onto the trees, setting them all on fire. The moral of today's story - don't stick a lit cigar into your pocket, you moron.

Don't worry, Pete. It's just the Aurora Borealis.

Then we cut to Minnie and Daisy (who is now voiced by Diane Michelle as opposed to Tress MacNeille) hard at work at Mortimer's. Minnie tells Daisy what we already know - she wants to get Mickey something special, so she really needs that Christmas bonus. But what luck! Mr. Mortimer (Jeff Bennett) wants to see her in his office right away!

Interesting fact - I believe this was Mortimer Mouse's first appearance in a Disney production since his debut in the short Mickey's Rival back in 1936 (if I'm wrong about that, please fill me in). Since then he's appeared in Mickey Mouse Works, House of Mouse, and several other productions. This version of Mortimer, however, is very different from the Mortimer we see in those other productions. Instead of Mickey's cocky rival for Minnie's affections who goes "Ha cha cha!" a lot, he's Minnie's snooty British-accented boss. Kinda makes you wonder why they even used Mortimer for this role.

You ever notice that Mortimer kind of looks like Chuck E. Cheese? I think it's the nose...

Anyhow, Mortimer rewards Minnie for her hard work with her Christmas bonus. Alas, it turns out not to be money. It's a fruitcake.

Look on the bright side, Minnie. You could always throw it at Mortimer's head.

So now Minnie and Mickey BOTH lack the money needed to get the other a present. Not far away from the bench that Mickey is sitting on, the folks at a Charity Toy Drive are having a problem too... you see, the fire department was supposed to play some music at the drive, but they're busy putting out the fire at the tree lot. And without a band, nobody in town will come by to donate toys. Fortunately, the Chief of Police (Jim Cummings) overhears Mickey's harmonica-playing and enlists his help to drive (get it?) people to the toy drive.

Mickey begins playing his harmonica, attracting the attention of several townsfolk... one of whom is Winnie the Pooh's friend Owl. What's he doing here?

And why is it so weird seeing Owl wearing clothes?

Eventually the firefighters show up to provide some musical accompaniment, and the townsfolk start donating toys. Thanks to Mickey, the toy drive is a big success, and Mickey and Pluto make it to the shop where that gold chain is for sale... just in time to see it close up for the night. Granted, it's not like Mickey had the money to buy the chain anyway, but he asks the shop owner (Jim Cummings) if he can trade his harmonica for it. The owner initially declines, but after hearing him play it, he's all "It's a deal!".

Cut to Christmas at Minnie's house... or at least I'm guessing it's Minnie's house. It could actually be Minnie's. Pluto gets a bone, Figaro gets a ball of yarn, Mickey gives Minnie the chain, and Minnie gives Mickey a case for his harmonica. Y'know, the one he traded for the chain. Coincidentally, Minnie traded her watch to get the case. But they have each other and that's the important thing.

Let's say it again - D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW...

Kelsey Grammer recaps the moral of each segment: love is what makes Christmas so great. The movie ends with Mickey, Minnie, Pluto, Max, Goofy, Donald, Daisy, Huey, Dewey, and Louie gathering together to sing a medley of Christmas carols.

And nobody cares about what Clarabelle Cow, Horace Horsecollar, and Clara Cluck
are doing for THEIR Christmas.

What's the Verdict?

If you haven't seen Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas already, I'd recommend giving it a watch. It's got nice animation, some funny gags, great voice acting, and a lot of heart to it. It's definitely one of Disney's better direct-to-video films from the 1990s. Not that it has very stiff competition.

My one complaint about the film? It spawned a crummy sequel five years later:

But we'll look at that one another time.