Did You Know? - Fun Facts About "The Little Mermaid"

Welcome to another edition of a series that I like to call Did You Know?. Inspired a little by the Nostalgia Critic's "What You Never Knew" series, this series will allow me to share with you some interesting tidbits, behind-the-scenes information, and fun facts about an animated movie or TV series. Because I like sharing new information with people.

Now, in the 1980s, Disney wasn't doing so well with their animated movies. Most of the films from this era are some of their lesser-known entries in the Disney Animated Canon (The Black Cauldron immediately comes to mind). In fact, animation as a whole was for all intents and purposes in a dark age at the time. Then in 1989, they released their twenty-eighth animated movie.

That movie was The Little Mermaid.

The Little Mermaid marked a turning point for animation. It was the first film released as part of the Disney Renaissance, which lasted for an entire decade and included films like Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and The Lion King (but we'll talk about those movies in later editions of "Did You Know?"). It's one of Disney's most iconic movies, spawning two sequels, a prequel TV series, a Broadway show, theme park attractions, and mucho merchandise. Predictably, a live action remake of the film is going to be released next month... which is why I'm posting this now.

There are a lot of things that you probably don't know about the film. Sure, you probably know that the film won two Academy Awards, and that Jodi Benson recorded "Part of Your World" with the lights dimmed so she'd feel like she was really underwater. You probably know that Sherri Stoner, the voice of Slappy Squirrel from Animaniacs, was the live action reference model for Ariel. And of course, there's the whole thing with the priest's knee (I want to keep this blog PG, so I won't go into any more detail than that). But did you know THESE things?

1) Disney had wanted to make an adaptation of The Little Mermaid since the 1930s (either as a full feature, a Silly Symphony, or a segment in one of those "package films" they were doing in the 1940s). Development started after Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but was put on hold due to various circumstances.

2) When Ron Clements, one of the film's directors, pitched the idea of a Little Mermaid adaptation to Jeffrey Katzenberg in the 1980s, he initially turned it down. In fact, he didn't just turn it down, he went over to a large gong and banged it to let everyone know that he didn't like the idea (this was apparently what he did to EVERY pitch that he didn't like - he called these meetings "the gong show"). Part of the reason why is that Disney was already making a movie about a mermaid, 1984's Splash. Fortunately, Ron had a story treatment document with him and gave it to Jeffrey for him to read. After that, Jeffrey decided to greenlight the film after all.

3) Ariel is the first red-haired Disney princess. Originally, she was going to be blonde, but the filmmakers felt that would make her too similar to the mermaid from the aforementioned Splash. Many different hair colors were considered before they decided to make her a redhead.

Concept art for Ariel.

4) Patrick Stewart was offered the role of King Triton, but he had to turn it down due to scheduling conflicts with Star Trek: The Next Generation. This was one of the many, MANY Disney characters Patrick Stewart had to turn down doing the voice of due to that show.

5) Jim Carrey - yes, THAT Jim Carrey - auditioned for Prince Eric. I've heard that Matthew Broderick was also considered, but I don't know if there's any truth to that.

6) Sebastian was originally to be an British crab named Clarence. When Howard Ashman read the script, he suggested making the crab Jamaican instead. When Samuel E. Wright auditioned for the character, he had no idea what it was for - and when he found out it was a Disney movie, he was thrilled.

7) According to Will Finn, who was instrumental in designing Sebastian,  the filmmakers wanted a "Geoffrey Holder-type voice" for the character before Samuel was cast. The trouble was, Will couldn't imagine a voice like Geoffrey Holder's coming out of "the rough sketches I had seen of the beady-eyed, Frisbee-shaped crustacean". He kept thinking of Holder's long face and soulful eyes, and eventually decided to just forget about a crab's real anatomy and "have a face like that just extend out of the shell" - he described it as a cross between a turtle and the Twiddlebugs from Sesame Street. He was also inspired by the caricatures of Brazilian musicians he'd seen in a book called Echole! that fellow artist Haroldo Guimaraes had lent to him.

Will did a few scribbles of the crab he was envisioning. When Howard Ashman saw them, he loved them, so the directors wanted Will to do a more finished model sheet. Problem was, in Will's words, "I was still very inexperienced at the time and although I could get lucky with the odd scribble, I had never designed a feature character before and could only bring the drawings to a point. Story artist Ed Gombert and animator Chris Buck worked up the design a good deal more successfully as storyboarding began, and then that work in turn was handed to the amazingly gifted Duncan Marjoribanks, who, as Supervising Animator, ultimately fashioned the character into the version we all know and love."

Concept art for Sebastian.

8) Another character whose design was hard to pin down? Ursula. Before deciding on the half-octopus look, they went through a number of designs based on different sea creatures. At one point, Ursula looked like a manta ray. Some concept art depicts her as looking like a lionfish or a scorpionfish. Dan Haskett did some hypothetical designs for Ursula that were inspired by Patti LaBelle. One thing that Ron Clements and John Musker DID know was that they didn't want to make Ursula look too beautiful because at one point she turns into the beautiful but wicked Vanessa and they wanted to have some contrast. Rob Minkoff (the director of The Lion King) whipped up a sketch where Ursula looked like, in Ron Clements' words, "a Miami Beach matron". Ron, John, and Howard Ashman all liked it. Eventually, they started modeling Ursula after Divine, the famous drag queen who starred as Edna in 1988's Hairspray.

Storyboard artist Matthew O'Callaghan was the one who came up with the idea of giving Ursula octopus tentacles. Chris Buck helped refine the design into the Ursula we got. Glen Keane was originally going to be Ursula's supervising animator, but he wanted to animate Ariel instead. So then the job of Ursula's supervising animator went to Rob Minkoff, but he left production to work on a 1990 Roger Rabbit short. Ruben Aquino was given the task of animating Ursula after that.

9) Thus began the quest to find Ursula's voice. While writing the script, Ron and John envisioned Bea Arthur as the character, whereas Howard though Joan Collins would be a good choice. They weren't able to offer Bea the part - it would seem that her agent was upset that they envisioned her playing a witch. They also considered Nancy Marchand, Nancy Wilson, Charlotte Rae and Elaine Stritch before Pat Carroll was chosen.

Concept art for Ursula that has her looking like Miss Piggy with octopus tentacles.

10) The multiple scenes in the movie where Ariel sits on a rock? That's a reference to a statue of Hans Christian Anderson's original Little Mermaid located in Copenhagen.

11) At some point in the 1980s, the animation section of the Walt Disney Studio Lot got the axe to make room for the bigger live action productions being made. So the animators worked in a warehouse and a bunch of trailers next to a Glendale bowling alley. On the bright side, this meant that the animators were freed from the looming pressure of Disney's former glory that had haunted their previous offices and could define their own style. Peter Schneider, the president of Disney's animation division at the time, called this "the best thing that could have happened to the animators."

12) Ariel is named after Lori Singer's character from the film Footloose. Physically, she's modeled after Alyssa Milano (she didn't learn that until Disney asked her to host a TV special about the making of the movie).

13) Among those who auditioned to provide the voice of Ariel was Liz Callaway (who also provided the singing voice of Jasmine in the Aladdin sequels and Kiara in The Lion King II: Simba's Pride), as she confirms here. Voice actress Melissa Fahn also auditioned.

14) Andreas Deja was given the job of animating King Triton because "he was a very dynamic, aggressive character that had to be drawn realistically." He based the design on his own father, who would often argue with his sisters when they brought home boys.

Concept art for Flounder.

15) Remember that shark from the beginning of the film? Glut? He was originally supposed to show up again when Flounder was trying to get Ariel to the wedding ship. Flounder apparently would've tricked him into biting a gunpowder barrel, resulting in the shark blowing up.

16) Of King Triton's daughters, Ariel is the only one to wear her hair down - this is to help her stand out.

17) Speaking of which, the animation of Ariel's hair underwater was inspired by footage of astronaut Sally Ride in weightless conditions.

18) As Ursula is turning herself into the human Vanessa, among the things she includes in the potion is a butterfly. "Vanessa" is a genus of butterfly. It's a visual pun. Now, where Ursula found a butterfly underwater I have no idea...

19) Cameos, cameos, cameos! Who doesn't love a good cameo? And The Little Mermaid is full of 'em. For example, look closely during the scene near the beginning of the film where King Triton is arriving at the concert. Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, and Kermit the Frog are part of the crowd (as are a few kids wearing those Mickey Mouse ear hats).

In addition, the King and the Grand Duke from Cinderella are in attendance at Prince Eric's wedding...

There's a painting of Aurora and Phillip from Sleeping Beauty in Eric's castle...

And a non-Disney character appears at the end of the "Under the Sea" sequence - one of the fish in this screencap is none other than the Incredible Mr. Limpet!

Mr. Limpet also makes a cameo in the Little Mermaid dark ride at Disney's California Adventure. Look for him across from the animatronic of Ariel awkwardly scratching her back on a piece of coral. And no, for whatever reason he's not in the Disney World version of the ride.

20) The animators created a brand new color for Ariel's tail. That color's name? Fittingly enough, "Ariel".

21) The Little Mermaid is actually considered a "transitional" film of sorts - it was one of the last Disney movies to use xerography and the first to introduce the CAPS system. It was also the final Disney film to use a multiplane camera.

22) Ursula technically isn't an octopus - she's a cecaelia, a mythical creature that's a cross between a human and an octopus. She only has six tentacles (her arms serve as the other two limbs that make for eight in all). This is because animating EIGHT tentacles would've been too expensive.

23) Among the things Ariel has in her grotto are a bust of Abraham Lincoln and the painting "Magdalene With the Smoking Flame" by Georges De La Tour.

Another piece of concept art for Ursula.

24) Long before he was cast as the Genie in Aladdin, the filmmakers considered having Robin Williams in the movie voicing a dolphin. Then they decided that Ariel was too passive, so they decided to cut the dolphin and give the character's "agency" to Ariel.

25) The song that Scuttle attempts to sing when Ariel and Eric are in the rowboat is the love theme of Tchaikovsky's Romeo and Juliet Overture. Earlier in the film, when Scuttle is first introduced, he is singing "1492". 1942 is the year when Christopher Columbus went sailing and thought he spotted mermaids.

26) Will Finn admitted on his blog that he doesn't think very highly of his animation of Grimsby. He said that "At this point I learned that it was one thing to make a decent sketch and quite another to make useful animation drawings. Simply put, the character was just too sophisticated for my skill level at that point... it was a year-long struggle from start to finish, and not an ultimately successful one. As much as I loved the character and wanted to do it well, I would say that I only got a few of the scenes right and both I and the directors knew it. At one point I noticed with a kind of despair that just about every time the character appeared in storyboard form, director John Musker himself had done the sketches, which was not typical. It dawned on me that this was exactly the kind of character that embodied his own dry sense of humor and he undoubtedly would have knocked it out of the park if he had animated it himself. Both John and Ron were world-class animators before they became directors so pleasing them is both a challenge and a reward. I knew that what they had in their heads was better than what I was capable of doing most of the time, but I kept on keeping on anyway."

27) Would you believe that Jeffrey Katzenberg wanted the iconic "Part of Your World" song cut from the movie? After a test screening, he decided that kids would find the song boring (apparently at least one kid in the test audience was more focused on picking up his popcorn than he was watching Ariel sing). Literally no one else in production agreed with him, especially not Howard Ashman, who gave Jeffrey a piece of his mind. He said, "You can’t cut the song. It’s an ‘I want’ song. And if you cut it, they’re not going to fall in love with Ariel and root for her for the rest of the film. There’s not going to be any heart in it whatsoever." Glen Keane urged Jeffrey to give the song another chance, and the rest is history. Just to be on the safe side, the animators added Sebastian into the scene so he could keep getting into hijinks involving Ariel's "gadgets and gizmos" - which would hopefully keep younger audiences more interested in the song.

Concept art of Ariel and Eric.

28) Surprisingly, many of the animators who worked on the film didn't care for the prequel TV series that premiered in 1992, feeling that their work was being trivialized by limited animation and foreign animation studios.

29) Speaking of people not being a fan of things, do you know who wasn't a fan of Disney's take on The Little Mermaid? None other than beloved author Maurice Sendak! It wasn't that he didn't like Disney or anything, it's just that... well, in his own words, "The tale is about sacrifice. The Little Mermaid has all the risks and no rewards. That's a hard lesson. The movie is about getting married, having cupcakes for bras and going to live in the White Plains somewhere."

30) This film was the most effects-heavy Disney animated feature since 1940's Fantasia. The storm sequence where Ariel rescues Eric took ten special effects animators over a year to finish. Effects animation supervisor Mark Dinal estimated that over a million bubbles were drawn for the film - the directors insisted that each bubble be hand-drawn as opposed to Xeroxed.

31) As you probably know, the voice of Melody in The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea was provided by Tara Strong. Melody is actually Tara's favorite role, because she loves the original Little Mermaid and was incredibly excited to be working with Jodi Benson. Tara also voices two of Ariel's sisters in The Little Mermaid 3: Ariel's Beginning.

Did you know any of these things before reading this post? If so, congratulations! I just wasted your time!

Sources:
- https://www.looper.com/850123/the-untold-truth-of-disneys-the-little-mermaid/
- Will Finn's blog
- https://www.insider.com/the-little-mermaid-ursula-concept-art-2019-7
- https://www.looper.com/1116014/disney-almost-removed-the-little-mermaids-part-of-your-world-from-the-films-final-cut/
- https://www.insider.com/little-mermaid-part-of-your-world-jeffrey-katzenberg-2019-2

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Donkey Kong Country"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

I'll be honest, I've never played an actual Donkey Kong game. My experience with Donkey Kong basically amounts to my usually choosing to play as him when I play Mario Kart Wii (it's always either him or Yoshi. I think it mainly stems from the fact that I love animals). So if you're going into this review wondering how faithful the show is to the games... well, I can't tell you that.

But what I can tell you is that Donkey Kong Country was co-produced by Nelvana, Medialab Studio L.A. (the first season, at least), and WIC Entertainment, with the participation of Teletoon. It premiered in France on September 4th, 1996, then aired in America on Fox Family starting I think some time in August 1997. And here's an interesting fact for you - it was one of the first television shows to be animated with motion capture technology.

The show takes place on Kongo Bongo Island, where Donkey Kong (voiced by Richard Yearwood) and his best pal Diddy Kong (Andrew Sabiston) protect a magical artifact known as the Crystal Coconut from the villainous King K. Rool (Ben Campbell), who wants to steal it so he can take over the island, and his Kremlin army. Other characters include the cantankerous Cranky Kong (Aron Tager), the laid-back Jamacian accented Funky Kong (Damon D'Oliveira), K. Rool's twin brother Kaptain Skurvy (Ron Rubin), and D.K.'s short-tempered love interest who looks nothing like she did in the games, Candy Kong (Joy Tanner). Forty episodes were produced, and each of them features two songs.

Maybe this CGI looked impressive back in the 1990s, but nowadays... yeesh.

Since its cancellation, the show has gained a reputation for being "So Bad It's Good", with its fanbase loving it for its bizarre animation and writing. As for me, I've never seen a single episode - again, never played any of the games, so I didn't have much motivation to seek it out - until today. Is Donkey Kong Country worth going ape over? Why don't we watch the sixth episode, "Booty and the Beast", and find out?

The episode begins with a pirate ship that, judging from the crocodile-shaped mast, must belong to the aforementioned Kaptain Skurvy. And sure enough, it does! And he launches into a musical number... jeez, we're getting our first song already?

Okay, well, is it at least a good song? Not really. Kaptain Skurvy isn't much of a singer, and the incredibly awkward dance moves that he and his crew pull off during the song aren't doing it any favors either. I also find myself distracted by Skurvy's bare chest. Why does he have pecs? Isn't he a REPTILE?

Lagoona Gator sure fell on hard times after getting kicked out of Typhoon Lagoon...

The ship pulls up to Kongo Bongo Island, then we see Cranky Kong inside his hut, lamenting that nobody ever comes to visit him. Suddenly a cannonball comes flying through his front door. Kaptain Skurvy barges in and demands that Cranky hand over the Crystal Coconut, soon followed by his crew members - all two of them - and his parrot, Polly Roger (Rick Jones). Methinks Kaptain Skurvy isn't very creative when it comes to naming his pets.

No, seriously, why does Skurvy have pecs? He's a crocodile! I don't care if they call him
a "Kremlin", he's for all intents and purposes a crocodile! Crocodiles should not have pecs!

Skurvy claims that his great-great-great-grandfather, also named Skurvy, stashed the Crystal Coconut on Kongo Bongo Island. "I don't have the coconut, Squid Breath! Now get out of my house!" Cranky exclaims, but Polly manages to open up the globe that Cranky keeps the Crystal Coconut inside. Although it looks less like a "Crystal Coconut" and more like a disco ball to me...

I like how the "legs" of the globe are bananas. That's a nice detail.

Cranky is all "You can't have it!" and Skurvy is all "We're taking it and you can't stop us, muah-ha-ha!" and then guess who shows up?

So now it's time for an epic battle between Donkey Kong, Diddy, Cranky, and the pirates, right? Well, no. D.K. just knocks Skurvy out with ease and then we cut to the outside of Cranky's hut as we hear the pirates getting beaten up. And then the pirates run out in a panic. This is why pirate captains should have crews that consist of more than two members.

"RUN AWAY! THEY'RE STARTING UP AN AWFUL MUSICAL NUMBER ABOUT
BANANAS!"

Unbeknownst to the pirates and D.K., King K. Rool is spying on them with a telescope. And now that he knows where the Crystal Coconut is, he and his Kremlin army can finally get their hands on it!

Oh, and K. Rool has pecs too. Could we please NOT give reptiles pecs? It's grossing me out...

Here's a joke for you: what do you call a crocodile who's also a detective? An investi-gator.
Ba-dum ksssssssssh.

And what is his newest plan to steal the Crystal Coconut? He shall fire his minion, Klump, out of a cannon, sending him right into Cranky's hut so he can grab the coconut. And Klump is also tied to a bungee cord, so as soon as he grabs it he'll be whisked right back to where K. Rool is before the Kongs can do anything to stop him. And guess what? It actually WORKS!

If you're gonna give the reptiles pecs, could you at least give them some shirts
to wear too? I don't like looking at their pecs...

Cranky tells D.K. to get the Crystal Coconut back. Here's a question, Cranky... why don't YOU get the coconut back? Why is it all up to D.K.?

We then cut to the Bluster Barrelworks Factory, where Candy is working hard making barrels. As she's working, another Kong named Bluster (Donald Burda) barges in and DEAR LORD WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?!

Seriously, that is one ugly-looking ape (both of them are pretty freaky-looking now that I think about it), even for this show and its awful CGI. The body isn't too bad, but that HEAD... why does it hardly have any fur? And why that hairdo? And that mustache... yeesh. It doesn't even look like a gorilla as much as it looks like some sort of weird halfway point between gorilla and human.

Okay, so Bluster's shtick is that he's an arrogant, self-absorbed windbag who runs the barrel factory and has the hots for Candy. He was not in the games, they created him for the show. Oddly, he and D.K. seem to be the only apes on the island who don't wear clothes. I mean, D.K. has a tie and Bluster has cuffs, but that's about it. I know it really doesn't matter whether or not they wear clothes since, y'know, they're apes, but it's a bit of a headscratcher...

K. Rool comes in and declares that he and his army are seizing the factory because he has the Crystal Coconut. Bluster promptly starts groveling in front of him, which is meant to show that he's a massive coward, but to be fair, the Crystal Coconut is a powerful artifact that can grant wishes, so it's not like Bluster's fear is unwarranted. K. Rool could easily use the Crystal Coconut to wish that Bluster's head would explode or something. Even ignoring that, K. Rool and his army are, again, for all intents and purposes CROCODILES. Even without that coconut, K. Rool could just bite Bluster's head off with his powerful jaws.

Come to think of it, why didn't he just do that? Knock on Cranky's door, bite his head off as soon as he answers it, and then steal the coconut? Well, I mean, obviously he'd never get away with that on a kids' show, but still...

I'm just now noticing that K. Rool doesn't have a tail. That can't just be the only thing
separating Kremlins from crocodiles, since the other Kremlins we've seen so far DO have tails,
so what's K. Rool's deal? Is this explained in another episode?

K. Rool explains his plan - they'll reconfigure the factory to manufacture thousands of EXPLODING barrels. He'll stockpile so much ammunition that no one will stand in his way. Then he shall "blast the apes back to the Stone Age". And then... I don't know, profit?

The factory starts making exploding barrels as K. Rool stands there cackling, and then we cut back to Cranky's hut... where D.K., Diddy, and Cranky are still just standing there talking about how they need to get the coconut back. Why aren't they, y'know, DOING JUST THAT? Why did they not immediately chase after K. Rool when he ran off with the coconut? What, did they need to eat lunch first or something?

"WHAT?! Illumination Entertainment cast FRED ARMISEN to do my voice in
The Super Mario Brothers Movie?!"

There seems to be a flaw in K. Rool's plan, however - the exploding barrels go ka-boom before they're even off the assembly line, thanks to the stamper that stamps an "OK" on the top. As soon as it makes impact, the barrel blows up. So now K. Rool can't actually USE them to "blast the apes back to the Stone Age". Oddly enough, however, K. Rool seems to be actually PLEASED by the barrels blowing up. Is watching barrels explode just how he gets his kicks?

Oh, goody, I have something new to be freaked-out by - D.K.'s teeth.

D.K. and Diddy show up at the factory. "Time for you to take a walk, K. Rool!" D.K. declares. "And leave the coconut behind while you're at it!" Diddy adds. Clearly trash-talking is not their strong suit. Why not "We're gonna go ape on you!" or "How about a little gorilla warfare?!" or something?

And how does K. Rool react to D.K. and Diddy's threatening him? He starts pressing random buttons on the control panel, of course! I'm starting to think that even HE doesn't know what he's doing by this point...

"What does THIS button do?! What does THIS button do?! What does THIS button do?!"

More barrels start going off, and in the chaos K. Rool and Klump run out of the factory and hop into a nearby mine car. Also, they've taken Bluster as their hostage. D.K. and Diddy pursue them into the mine.

Is it weird that I think Seth Rogen actually fits Donkey Kong better than the voice they gave him here?

I dunno, I just think Seth's voice sounds more fitting for a big gorilla. Richard Yearwood's
voice for D.K. just sounds like some guy off the street.

Bluster does something useful for once and threatens K. Rool and Klump with a blunderbuss he finds in the mine cart. He actually intimidates them... for a few seconds. Then Klump throws the Crystal Coconut at him, knocking him out of the mine cart. Congratulations, you just got rid of the thing you came to the island to steal in the first place! Even K. Rool yells at Klump for his stupidity.

Upon seeing D.K. and Diddy in the mine cart behind them, K. Rool uses the blunderbuss, which unleashes... some sort of blue dots that eat the mine cart? Huh?

Even D.K. and Diddy look confused by this.

K. Rool and Klump get away, but Bluster has the Crystal Coconut so... mission accomplished, I guess? But when D.K. and Diddy return it to Cranky, he tells them they can't come in. Because the pirates... remember them? They're still in this episode... came back and they're holding him hostage. And for whatever reason, Cranky doesn't just say "You can't come in because the pirates are back and they're holding me hostage!", he just says they can't come in without giving them a reason.

I'm not one hundred percent sure what the pirates' plan is here, seeing as D.K., Diddy,
and Cranky took them down no problem earlier in the episode...

D.K. and Diddy walk in, and despite the fact that D.K. was able to defeat Skurvy and his crew with ease earlier, he's suddenly powerless against them and allows them to steal the coconut and run out with it. Now they have to get the coconut back again.

So, just a recap... this episode's plot is literally just "CHARACTER A tries to steal the coconut. Donkey Kong stops them. CHARACTER B tries to steal the coconut. Donkey Kong stops them. CHARACTER A comes back and tries to steal the coconut again. Donkey Kong stops them again." Did we really need TWO villains in this episode? Why not JUST Kaptain Skurvy or JUST King K. Rool? Actually, why not JUST King K. Rool? He's a lot more engaging than Kaptain Skurvy...

Anyhow, D.K. and Diddy locate the pirate ship with the help of Funky Kong and his airplane...

This is Funky Kong.

…and then Funky just pushes them out of the airplane, sending them falling from a very large height down to the deck of the ship. I sure hope they weren't HORRIBLY INJURED from such a fall, Funky. Way to be a jerk. Heck, he doesn't even land the plane and help them fight the pirates! He just flies off laughing. What a tool!

And apparently D.K. and Diddy didn't think up, you know, some sort of PLAN to get the coconut back, because the pirates surround them and stuff them in barrels so that Skurvy can toss them overboard as soon as he finds some shark-infested waters. Fortunately, as soon as the pirates leave, THIS THING shows up:

Hellooooooooooooooo, new nightmare fuel.

From what I can gather, this thing is a Klaptrap (Ron Rubin). Wikipedia describes them as "small crocodiles who like to eat wooden surfaces in a manner similar to termites". Unfortunately, this one can't eat the wooden barrels that D.K. and Diddy are stuck in because he has no teeth... Skurvy stole them and threw them in the crow's nest. He sings an awful song in which he tries to make a deal with them - he'll unlock the chains that are keeping them stuck in the barrel, and in return they'll help him get his teeth back.

It's kind of incredible that Bluster has done more to defeat the bad guys in this episode
than D.K. has.

Donkey Kong scarfs down a pile of bananas that the pirates have for whatever reason - apparently bananas are to D.K. what spinach is to Popeye - and now it's pirate-defeating time.

Say hello to Curious George's steroids-addicted cousin, Furious George.

After D.K. and Diddy take down two of the pirates, Skurvy tries to use a cannon on them... only for the cannonball to fly up to the crow's nest, where the Klaptrap, who has found his teeth, devours it... WAIT A MINUTE! I thought Klaptraps ate WOOD. I'm pretty sure cannonballs aren't made of wood.

Well, whatever, the Klaptrap eats the ship, and the pirates wind up sitting on a poorly-rendered rock...

Even the early VeggieTales videos had better graphics than this...

D.K. and Diddy reflect on the events of the episode, then Klaptrap shows up and assures them that he won't eat the Crystal Coconut (why would he? I don't think the Crystal Coconut is made of wood either) because he's not in the mood for dessert... YET. Then he laughs hysterically at the camera, ending the episode on a somewhat creepy note.

"I'll be seeing you all in your nightmares tonight!"

What's the Verdict?

I had really small expectations going in, so I will say that Donkey Kong Country isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I would not, however, call it good. The animation is awful. Typical of motion capture, the characters move really awkwardly and the textures are laughably bad. None of the jokes are funny. The characters are uninteresting, with Donkey Kong himself having very little personality to speak of other than "kind of dimwitted" and Diddy having even less. The only character I sorta liked was King K. Rool, he was actually kind of fun to watch. And the songs are terrible. I'm not just singling out the ones in this episode, I've listened to a couple of the other songs this show featured and they're not any better (I think my least favorite is probably D.K. and Candy's weird love ballad about their love being stronger than a golden banana). Even if you're a fan of the games, I don't think Donkey Kong Country is really worth your time. I didn't even find it "So Bad It's Good".

Oh, but don't take my word for it. Here's one of the songs from another episode of the show, this one performed by Funky about aliens. Listen to this and then tell me with a straight face that it's a good song:

I will say this, though - I don't hate the idea of giving a Donkey Kong cartoon another try. Like I said, I've never played any of the games, so I'm not super-familiar with the franchise, but from what little I do know about it, I think there's enough material, characters, and settings to make a really fun cartoon out of it... or even a movie, especially with how successful The Super Mario Brothers Movie has been (by the way, I haven't seen that movie myself. I'm going to watch it when it comes on demand - I'd rather not pay to see it in theaters because I'm still miffed by how they snubbed Charles Martinet).

Oh, by the way... yes, I know this wasn't technically the first Donkey Kong cartoon. The character also appeared in a segment that was part of a 1983 cartoon called Saturday Supercade. But we'll look at that show another time. I think he was also in an episode or two of Captain N: The Game Master, but I'd rather not touch that show with a ten-foot pole.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Captain Planet and the Planeteers"

In hindsight, I probably should have waited to post this on Earth Day, but I forgot what week Earth Day was when I said that this would be my next review, so y'know what, I'm posting it now.

Captain Planet and the Planeteers is one of those cartoons that seemingly everyone has heard of, but hardly anyone has actually watched - mainly because it doesn't have the best reputation. Its biggest claim to fame is how preachy it is. I hate to admit it, but I was introduced to it via the Nostalgia Critic's review of it. Admittedly, that review was made back when the Nostalgia Critic was actually at least sort of funny, so...

What is Captain Planet and the Planeteers? Well, it was created by Ted Turner, Barbara Pyle and Robert Larkin III, premiering on TBS in September 1990. It got six seasons. The plot? Well, according to the narration during the intro, the spirit of the Earth, Gaia (voiced by Whoopi Goldberg) has had enough of pollution and people causing it, so she sends five magic rings to five "special young people". In order, they are...

- Kwame (LeVar Burton of Reading Rainbow fame), from Africa, who possesses the power of Earth
- Wheeler (Joey Dedio), from North America, who possesses the power of fire
- Linka (Kath Souice), from the Soviet Union, who possesses the power of wind
- Gi (Janice Kawaye), from Asia, who possesses the power of water
- Ma-Ti (Scott Menville), from South America, who possesses the power of... heart, which isn't one of the elements, but we'll let it slide

In every episode, these five attempt to stop evil dudes from destroying the planet. They fail, so then Kwame declares, "Let our powers combine!" and they do just that, summoning the titular Captain Planet (David Coburn). Why they don't just do that in the first place instead of trying to stop the bad guys themselves, I don't know.

Nowadays, Captain Planet is more of a punchline than anything, an easy target for animation reviewers like me to make fun of. However, the first season has been released on DVD, attempts have been made to adapt the show into a movie (none of which have actually gotten off the ground), and Captain Planet made an appearance in an episode of OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes. So clearly SOMEBODY must've liked it. Is the show better than the internet makes it out to be? Let's find out! We'll be watching the tenth episode, "Volcano's Wrath".

This episode was written by Robert Schooley and Mark McCorkle. If those names sound familiar, it's because they went on to create Kim Possible. They also worked on The Penguins of Madagascar. So that's a good sign, at least...

It's a beautiful day on Laipuno Island... or at least it is until three boats full of garbage pulls up to the island. They are under the command of Sly Sludge, one of the show's many recurring villains. You can tell he's evil because he has an evil expression and says "Trash is cash, cash for ME, Sly Sludge." All he needs is a mustache to twirl and a Snidley Whiplash costume.

He's also voiced by Martin Sheen. At least in the first three seasons. In Season 4, Jim Cummings takes over. Actually, most of the celebrity voices in this show (Meg Ryan, Jeff Goldblum, Dean Stockwell, etc.) were replaced by professional voice actors after their first few appearances. Even Whoopi Goldberg was replaced as Gaia's voice by Margot Kidder as the show went on. I guess it's because the celebrities became too busy or too expensive.

Can you imagine somebody actually naming their son "Sly Sludge"?

So Sly Sludge is basically running some sort of garbage disposal business. He has people send them their trash and he'll dump them for a fee. Little does he know that Gaia and the Planeteers are watching him. Gaia tells the Planeteers that Sly Sludge will cover the island with all that garbage (and apparently he doesn't think anyone will notice the island being covered with garbage?) because apparently just putting it in a landfill isn't eeeeeeeeeeeeevil enough for him.

"There has to be something better on than this. Where's the remote control?"

Question - Gaia's the earth spirit, right? Does that mean she controls the earth? Why doesn't SHE do something to stop Sly Sludge? Does she just not have the power to have a giant hole open up and swallow him whole?

Well, anyway, the Planeteers jump into their Eco-Sub and head for the island. On the way there, they encounter a native in a canoe who's had it up to HERE with all that trash Sly Sludge is dumping on the island.

Oh, yeah, I should mention that Ma-Ti has a pet monkey. Because people like monkeys, don't they?

The native, whose name is Tommy, takes the Planeteers to Sly Sludge's eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil lair, where he claims that he's NOT, in fact, just leaving the trash on the island to rot. No, no - he's using his laser beam to shrink it!

...okay, word of advice, Sly Sludge: you want to be rich? How about patenting that SHRINK RAY you invented? You could be winning a Nobel Prize or something for developing such a device! What, is it just not eeeeeeeeeeeeeevil enough for you?

"I could be making millions off this device that makes similar inventions seen in science
fiction stories a reality, but nah, I'd much rather use it for my evil schemes."

Once the Planeteers leave, Sly reveals that - surprise! It was a trick! He's not shrinking the trash at all! Which begs the question as to how he was able to pull off the effect of having the laser beam shrink the trash to fool the Planeteers. Maybe we'll get an explanation for that later.

The Planeteers encounter one of Sly Sludge's workers, another native who dubs him the best thing to happen to the island.

I appreciate that this cartoon doesn't go the stereotypical "savage warriors in loincloths"
route you usually get with natives in cartoons. That would've been incredibly racist.

Tommy explains to the Planeteers that this other native is his sister, Lanai, who's Sly Sludge's number-one "Trash-Matic mechanic". She insists that Sly Sludge is a hero... and then we cut to Sly Sludge gloating about how he fooled everyone and how he's dumping all the trash into - you guessed it - a volcano.

I love how not subtle they are in establishing that Sly Sludge is evil. He might as well just be wearing a giant neon sign reading "I AM EVIL".

Rule of thumb: any episode of any cartoon that takes place on a pacific island has to
have a volcano in it. And it has to be a volcano that's about to erupt. It's just common knowledge.

Linka is still doubtful of Sly Sludge's claim that he's really "shrinking" the trash - probably because if Sly Sludge actually did have a shrink ray, he would probably be using it to shrink the Planeteers down to the size of a ladybug so he can step on them and stop them from ruining his evil plans. She and Wheeler head back to Sly Sludge's lab and do some investigating. It's during this scene that I realize just how obnoxious Wheeler is. He's your stereotypical "egotistical tough guy with the intelligence of a bag of marshmallows" who can't go five seconds without making an unfunny joke.

"I'm just gonna press buttons randomly on the control panel. There's no way THAT could
go wrong, right?"

Lanai shows up while the system is going berserk thanks to Wheeler's being an idiot, and winds up in the spot where the trash is placed to be shrunken down by the laser beam. But instead of being shrunk, she falls through a trapdoor. So apparently the shrink ray doesn't actually shrink anything, it just lights up and nothing else. Sly Sludge really wasted his money on a laser beam that DOESN'T DO ANYTHING?

Lanai falls onto a conveyor belt where all the trash is being brought to the pulley system that takes it up to the volcano. Sly Sludge actually shows concern for her, but he tells Wheeler that he can't do anything to stop it. Also, I'm just now noticing that Sly Sludge's mouth is gigantic.

Did you know that Joey Dedio also did the voice of Daniel in the Karate Kid cartoon?
Yes, there was a Karate Kid cartoon at one point. Look it up.

Linka tries to save Lanai from falling into the volcano, but only succeeds in preventing her from landing in the lava. "We need Captain Planet!" Wheeler declares.

And in case you're wondering where Tommy and the rest of the Planeteers are, they're currently looking around the lab for their friends. Ma-Ti uses his heart powers to sense that they're in the volcano. So, he's a psychic? What does that have to do with the heart?

So you should know where this is going, right? "Let our powers combine!", powers combined, and Captain Planet shows up.

The mega mac daddy of ecology!

(Geez, did I really just type that?)

Captain Planet saves Lanai and Linka from the lava, then confronts Sly Sludge. But, uh oh! The volcano's about to erupt!

See? What did I tell you? Volcanoes in cartoons ALWAYS erupt.

"Clear the area, everybody!" Captain Planet shouts. Once everyone has gotten out of the volcano, Lanai comes up with the idea of using the construction vehicle to dig a canal, preventing lava from flooding the village. So off they go to do that while Captain Planet works on stopping the volcano from erupting. While making a bunch of unfunny one-liners.

Mai-Ti seems oddly calm about the situation at hand... in fact, the MONKEY looks
the most concerned out of anyone in this screencap.

Tommy, Lanai, and the Planeteers dig the canal, which the lava falls into as opposed to destroying the village. Captain Planet then creates a wall of crystals to hold back the lava, but that's only a temporary solution. They need water! It sure is a good thing one of the Planeteers has water powers, isn't it?

Oh, wait. Gi isn't going to do anything. Captain Planet is going to get water from the ocean. Apparently Gi forgot that she has the aforementioned water powers.

By the way, Sly Sludge isn't going to get away with his actions.

Out of context, this kind of looks like Captain Planet is trying to seduce Sly, doesn't it?

Captain Planet creates a tsunami to literally rock Sludge's boat and extinguish the lava, then uses an enormous column of water to cool off the volcano. Sludge is arrested. Captain Planet suggests that the natives take care of the trash via recycling. We get another joke about how dumb Wheeler is, and then the Planeteers spend a few minutes talking about how you can recycle. "The power is YOURS!" Captain Planet announces before zapping the audience with a laser beam from his finger.

"Phone home..."

What's the Verdict?

Okay, I'll be honest... I didn't think this was that bad. Yes, it's preachy. Yes, the animation is bad. Yes, Wheeler is annoying. Yes, there are a bunch of unfunny one-liners. Yes, the villain is so over the top that he's impossible to take seriously. But, to be honest, I feel the episode does a fine job of getting across the anti-pollution message without being too obnoxious about it. I mean, compared to something like Animals United, this is far less ridiculous. And the voice actors all do a good job. So, yeah. Far from the best show I've ever seen, but it's far from the worst too. Believe me, there are far, far worse cartoons out there.

Like what we'll be looking at next time, for example!

Further reading:

- Nothing But Cartoons' reviews of two other episodes of the show, where Captain Planet and the Planeteers fight villains voiced by Jeff Goldblum and Meg Ryan