After These Messages: Animated Commercials Back From When Commercials Were Actually Fun

Commercial breaks are often considered to be little more than an opportunity for you to use the bathroom while you're watching TV. And indeed, as somebody who watches a lot of TV, I can see why commercials aren't too popular. Nowadays, commercials all seem to be a blur of memes and techno music and random things like that. And when they're not like THAT, they're long and needlessly creepy ads for medicines and stuff.

But back when the world was a place where whimsicalness (I know that's not a word) was actually something greeted with praise, commercials were more often than not actually pretty fun. No, really!

And from the dawn of television to the 2000s, there was no commercial like an animated commercial. Commercials that are fully-animated are, for whatever reason, rather rare today (at least on channels like TBS and Freeform), but during that time period where whimsy = GOOD, companies knew that one for sure way to make people interested in buying their product was by having a cartoon character suggest it. And since this is a blog dedicated to animation... You can see where I'm going with this, right?

So today, we'll be talking a little about fourteen commercials featuring cartoon characters. Why fourteen? Because ten seemed like too little and twenty seemed like too much. The rule here is that every commercial needs to be ANIMATED (or at least half-animated), so this is TOTALLY different than those videos the Nostalgia Critic makes, right? RIGHT?

Also, the animation must be one hundred percent original. As in, not recycled from a movie or something. Okay, let's get started...

Here's a commercial directed by the great Bob Kurtz at his company, Kurtz and Friends - they also gave us the Mr. DNA sequence in Jurassic Park and the animated title sequences of George of the Jungle, City Slickers, and my personal favorite project of theirs, the 2006 remake of The Pink Panther (and here's another interesting fact for you - the Panther was animated there by Eric Goldberg!). Bob's art style is very distinct.
It's rare to see an animated commercial for a zoo (then again, I find it rare to see commercials for a zoo at all). It doesn't really tell us anything about the zoo, it's just some animals singing about how something is "brand new" at the zoo. And you know what? I'm okay with that. I really should get to the Lincoln Park Zoo at some point. I love zoos, and if this zoo is as good as the commercial makes it out to be, I'd better take the advice of the animals and go there.
Just a warning, though - once the song that the animals are singing enters your head, it ain't gonna leave.

We'll just ignore the whole political aspect of this commercial and focus on everything else. I don't know who animated this - I'm getting Kurtz and Friends vibes, but I don't know if this was indeed made by them. I don't know who's voicing the elephant and the donkey either, but the elephant sounds exactly like Wayne Knight. I don't know if I've ever been on a Delta airplane - I've flown with Continental Airlines and I believe JetBlue, but I'm not sure about Delta. If anybody has any information about this commercial that I am not aware of, feel free to send me an email.

You don't see a whole lot of commercials for Starbucks, which I guess mainly stems from the fact that Starbucks doesn't NEED to advertise themselves - there are more than 14,000 stores on this planet (I looked it up! It's true!), what are the odds that there's anybody that doesn't know what a Starbucks is? Again, I don't know who animated this, or who the voices are, but it's a very interesting style. I especially like the design of the bear.

When you think "M&Ms commercial", you probably think of the ad campaign that debuted in 1994 - the ones with a Red M&M voiced by Billy West and a Yellow M&M voiced by J.K. Simmons (of course, they were voiced in the first few commercials by Jon Lovitz and John Goodman - I believe Billy and J.K. took over in 1998). With that in mind, it's rather jarring to see these earlier, entirely animated ads, featuring completely different versions of Red and Yellow training new recruits at a "chocolate camp". Once again, I don't know who the voices are, or who animated this, but it's a charming little commercial - I especially like the gag about the M&Ms showering.

Come to think of it, I could actually picture an M&Ms commercial featuring the "updated" versions of Red and Yellow watching this ad and commenting on it.

I have no official confirmation on this, but my theory is that the reason why the mascots for Charmin are bears is supposed to be a reference to that "bears go in the woods" thing. It's kind of weird that people say that, right? I mean, yeah, of course bears go in the woods - that's where they LIVE. And what about foxes, rabbits, deer, skunks, raccoons, etc.? Don't THEY go in the woods as well? Maybe foxes use Port-a-Potties, I don't know.

Anyway, this ad campaign made its debut in 2000s, and since then it's been nineteen years of watching bears who are WAAAAAAAAAAY too happy about this toilet paper (don't even ask me where they GOT this toilet paper, by the way - I mean, they're BEARS). This campaign has evolved over the years - there are currently two or three different families of bears (one family of bears has red fur, another has blue, and the third has brown), and they live in houses. But they're still incredibly obsessed with toilet paper.

Cookie Crisp has had a few mascots over the years. First there was a wizard named Jarvis, then a crook, his dog, and a cop, and then just the dog, and now Chip the Wolf. His shtick is that he tries to steal the cereal from the kids, but it doesn't work out that way. Maybe he and the Trix Rabbit should start a support group.

That actually begs the question - why doesn't Chip just go to the store and BUY a box of Cookie Crisp? I believe there's one ad where the Trix Rabbit buys a box of Trix, but those kids snatch it away (so stealing in cereal commercials is wrong, but only if you're a cartoon animal?). Perhaps Chip heard about this?

Ah, Aardman! Your stop-motion animation is always a pleasant addition to any commercial. During the 2000s, commercials for Hubba Bubba Max were extremely common. Each ad was essentially just an animal talking to the camera about the gum. There's one with a chameleon, one with a caterpillar, one with a peacock, one with a polar bear, one or two with a jellyfish, and of course, this one, featuring a laid-back fish and his overly-excited whale friend. This commercial is indeed "off the hook!"

Another ad from our friends at Aardman - and I'd say that this is one of their most popular. In hindsight, I wonder if the ads for both Chevron and Hubba Bubba Max that they made took a little inspiration from Creature Comforts, what with the whole "character just talks to the camera while their buddy does something funny in the background" thing they have going on. If I do have ONE complaint about these ads, it's that it's a little unnerving seeing cars with teeth. Then again, Mater from Cars has teeth and I'm not unnerved by him...

And here's an interesting fact for you - did you know that for a while, the Chevron cars could be found at Disneyland? No, really! For twelve years, Chevron sponsored Disneyland's Autopia attraction. The queue featured little videos featuring talking cars like the ones in the ads, and there was a billboard or two scattered around along the track. For further information, I would recommend reading this.

Imagine that you just watched this commercial (animated by the studio of Richard Williams) and you wanted to tell a friend about it. What would you even say?

"Hey, dude, I just saw this commercial for gum!"
"So?"
"Well, it wasn't like OTHER commercials for gum."
"What was it about?"
"There was this, uh, well, this giant green, uh, mouse thing with large human feet... and it was talking about how much it likes sitting on a hill..."
"And this was a commercial for GUM?"
"Yeah, dude, it was a commercial for gum!"

Here's another commercial from the studio of Richard Williams, this one for Heinz. Seriously, just look at that animation! The camera movements, the art style, the choice of colors... how on earth did they do it? And does anyone know who that announcer is?

Speaking of Heinz, here's a commercial from the folks at Klacto Animation animated by my favorite animator, Eric Goldberg. It's kind of strange that there aren't more animated walruses. I like walruses. They seem like animals that would lend themselves well to animation. I don't have much to say about this ad, but I personally think it's a great ad.

Here's another Klacto Animation ad. Quick question - how many advertising mascots are lions? I think the mascot for Paddle Pops is a lion, and I think Linus the Lionhearted got his start as the mascot for Crispy Critters cereal, but aside from them and this guy, I can't think of anyone.

Let's see... Great stop-motion animation? Check! Funny take on the whole "what came first, the chicken or the egg?" thing? Check! John Goodman and Steve Buscemi - in other words, Sulley and Randall - providing the voices of the Chicken and the Egg? Check! I have absolutely no complaints about this commercial.

By the way, I personally believe that the chicken came first. The egg had to come out of SOMETHING, right? Then again, dinosaurs laid eggs too, didn't they? So does that mean that the egg came first?

I'm admittedly not sure when this ad campaign for Pop Tarts got started. For as long as I can remember, Pop Tarts commercials have focused on talking Pop Tarts being eaten by hungry people and/or animals. Which is a little disturbing, but like the Hubba Bubba Max and Charmin commercials, these ads are a big source of nostalgia for me. And is it just me, or does the guy who pops out of the logo and shouts "CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY GOOD!" look a lot like the guy on the cover of Mad Libs?

Well, that's fourteen! I'm not sure if I'm going to do another one of these... Maybe I'll do a Christmas one.

Have a comment about one of these ads? Did you work on any of these ads and want to share a little information about them? Feel free to leave a comment! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go watch a movie with a chicken and an egg...

Let's Watch This - An Episode of "Flipper and Lopaka"

Today, we're looking at a show starring everyone's favorite dolphin...

No, no, there was never a TV show spinoff of this movie.
I sure as heck am not talking about THIS dolphin.

In 1963, the world was introduced to a dolphin named Flipper. The following year, a TV series starring the faster-than-lightning sea mammal was spawned. With a sequel, a remake and a couple other shows under his belt, it's safe to say that America flipped for Flipper. And clearly the Australians did too, considering that in the 1990s they created a cartoon show starring him!

Flipper and Lopaka premiered in 1999. It starred Flipper alongside some kid that didn't appear in any of the movies or the previous shows. Since this is a cartoon, Flipper now has the ability to speak. His voice is provided by the great Keith Scott, an Australian voice actor who over the years has done the voices of such characters as Bugs Bunny, Popeye (that's him doing Popeye and Bluto on the Popeye raft ride at Universal Orlando), Inspector Gadget, and Tony the Tiger. You probably know him best as the narrator of the 1997 George of the Jungle movie. In addition to all of this - and being a super-nice guy - Keith is also an animation historian.

And apparently in this show Flipper could fly, too, considering that he seems to be levitating.

Now, I've never seen an episode of this show before - which I think might stem from the fact that it never aired in the United States (to my knowledge, anyway). The main thing that draws me in is the fact that Keith Scott voices a large percentage of the show's characters. Thus, today we'll be watching the first episode of this show, "The Drought".

The sun is shining down on the island of Illoka. A bit too much, in fact - the island is having a drought (hence the title of the episode). The leader of Lopaka's tribe tells everyone that they must find more water. Another member of the tribe, Kerava (also voiced by Keith Scott), brings up his visit to islands made of ice and how rasssa-frassin' cold it is on them. Little does he know that a sea snake named Serge (Keith Scott as well) is spying on them from the water.

So, as it turns out this Kerava guy is Lopaka's father. Lopaka (voiced by Jamie Oxenbould) asks his dad about the ice islands, resulting in a flashback. Apparently, one day Kerava took a ride in his canoe, then like an idiot fell asleep and ended up drifting far north. Upon waking up, he encountered icebergs and assumed that they were islands made of ice. Then Chief Weighs-a-Lot shows up again to mock Kerava.

"Dad, will my chin be as long as yours is someday?"

Lopaka and Kerava get started digging a well. Some old guy (Keith Scott) tells them that all the water on the island comes from an underground lake. This fat kid named Bolo (who sounds like Popeye) doesn't believe him and claims it's just a load of poppycock like the ice islands. Lopaka is all "The ice islands DO exist, Tubby!" then runs off, Bolo in hot pursuit on his, uh, bicycle?

Ah, so we're doing that whole "bamboo technology" thing? Oh-kaaaaaaaaaay...

Question - where the heck is Flipper? We're, like, seven minutes in and it's just been Brown-Haired Mowgli and his dad being ridiculed.

Anyhow, Lopaka uses a series of underground tunnels to reach an underground lake, where he meets up with an old sea turtle named Calabash (Keith Scott).  I couldn't help but notice that he looks very much like the old guy from earlier. Are they intended to be the same character? Is Calabash a shapeshifter or something?

Seriously, the eyebrows, the chins, the noses... ARE they supposed to be the same character?

So anyway, Calabash is yet another example of the "turtles that are wise" stereotype. As it turns out, he knows about the ice islands, and he tells Lopaka and Flipper (who finally shows up about eight minutes in) that as I've stated before they are not islands but rather icebergs. He heard about them and Kerava's visit there from a pod of whales.

Flipper tells Lopaka that he'll do his best to find water for the island. He swims to this underwater Atlantis-esque city (maybe it's actually supposed to BE Atlantis?) and overhears Serge (remember him?) talking to a giant octopus named Dexter about how all the humans are hot. Dexter (Keith Scott) demands, "Why should those miserable land-lovers get all the heat while I'm freezing my tentacles off here in this bitterly-cold ice box?!" Serge says that it doesn't feel cold to HIM, to which Dexter is all, "Of course you're not cold! You're a cold-blooded reptile!" He then says that nobody likes the cold - well, unless you're a penguin or a polar bear or something. Dexter's three idiot shark henchmen agree with him that it's cold because they're the idiot henchmen.

Apparently, Ursula has a brother that we didn't know about.
Who would've thunk?

Okay, so as you might have guessed, Dexter is the show's main villain. He hates the surface-dwellers because I don't know.

Flipper gets an idea to help Lopaka and his people from this. He imitates Serge's voice and calls out, "Freeze them off the island, sir!" Sharing a voice actor with another character on your show comes in handy, I guess. Dexter loves the idea, but how are they going to do it? Flipper plants the idea of bringing an iceberg to Illoka in Discount Sir Hiss' head.

Here's a picture of Serge. I'm not sure if he's supposed to be a sea snake or an eel, but Wikipedia calls him a sea snake so...

Meanwhile, Lopaka and Kerava are still digging that well and they STILL haven't foudn water. Lopaka comments on how annoying it is that Chief Fatso and Bolo don't believe Kerava's story about the ice islands, but Kerava is all, "Oh, you can't make folks believe EVERYTHING, especially when you don't have any proof."

Back underwater, Flipper encounters his pals Ottie the otter, Puffy the pufferfish and Ray the stingray (all of whom are ALSO voiced by Keith Scott). They tell him that Dexter's shark henchmen have gone mad. Flipper suggests that maybe they're looking for something and that he should follow them.

Here's a screencap of Flipper for no other reason than because I haven't featured one yet and it feels weird not to include a screencap of one of the show's title characters.

Flipper's able to find the shark henchmen, who are talking about how they can't find any icebergs around. One of them worries that Dexter will be so mad that he'll feed them to the sharks. "We ARE the sharks, dum-dum!" another snaps. Flipper comments that the sharks are dumber than he thought (boy howdy) and that they'll NEVER find an iceberg at THIS rate. When the sharks return to Dexter, he is indeed angry and growls, "What am I payin' you for if you can't do a simple little job?!" One of the sharks replies, "You don't pay us, Mr. Dexter. We're sea animals, where are we supposed to get money?"

Dexter tells them that there aren't any icebergs where THEY live and that they have to go up NORTH where it's COLD. In their defense, Dexter, you could've just told them that BEFORE you sent them out to look for them. Or, you know, you could've just gone out to look for an iceberg YOURSELF - which is exactly what he does.

Rule of animation: if it takes place underwater, chances are that there's gonna be at least one villainous shark.
Unless it's Finding Nemo, because the sharks in that film were friendly (it's not Bruce's fault his instincts kicked in after smelling blood).

Flipper follows Dexter and the sharks all the way up north, where they do indeed find an iceberg. After an unfunny scene where Dexter has to guess what it is that they've found, Dexter commands that the sharks push the iceberg back to Illoka. Of course they can't push it because it's, you know, an ICEBERG. Perhaps you should've thought your plan through a little more, Dexter.

Thus, Dexter tricks a young whale into pushing the iceberg for them. He's all, "Bwahahaha, I'm going to make things DIFFICULT for those humans who I hate for no reason! Heheheheheh!"

Back on the island, Kerava discovers the underground lake - and that it's been dried-up. Then we cut back to the whale and Dexter, who've finally gotten the iceberg to the island. Dexter then for whatever reason brags that he tricked the whale, which angers the whale, and Dexter exits the episode trying very hard not to end up lunch. Some whales actually DO eat octopi, by the way.

Suddenly, I have a craving for calamari.

The next morning, all the villagers wake up and discover the iceberg. Nobody questions where a giant mass of ice came from or what it's doing on a tropical island, but nonetheless, Chief Tubby apologizes to Kerava for not believing him, and the water that the ice's melting creates flows into the well and down to the underground lake. Afterwards, we cut to Flipper and Lopaka. Lopaka guesses that Flipper had something to do with the iceberg showing up. "Yep!" Flipper replies. "With a little help from my friend Dexter!"

"Aloha, Krakatoa!"

So, that was Flipper and Lopaka. While I didn't find it GREAT, it was by no means bad. Keith Scott's work on this show is very impressive - he voices almost EVERYONE and they all manage to sound different. The animation is solid. The characters are engaging. My one complaint is that it wasn't a particularly funny show, but I did get a few chuckles. I don't know if fans of the live-action Flipper would like it, but I thought it was a pretty solid show.

I dunno if I'll be reviewing any more episodes of this show, but who knows? I might. In the meantime, my next review will likely be another movie review... maybe one of the Disney sequels...

Back to the Drawing Board - The DreamWorks Edition

Welcome to the first edition of something that I like to call Back to the Drawing Board, where we look at things from the development process of something animated that ended up being cut - or cancelled entirely. And stuff like that. It's gonna be much more interesting (I hope) than I'm describing it here, trust me. So, what's our first topic?

"I've been sitting on this moon since the 1990s and I STILL haven't caught anything! What the heck?!"

Ah, DreamWorks Animation. You've always been a bit of a mixed bag of an animation studio. When you made a good film (Kung Fu Panda, the first two Shrek movies), you made a good film. When you made a lousy film (Shark Tale, for instance), boy did you make a lousy movie.

One thing I will say about DreamWorks is that they certainly been able to make the most out of some rather strange premises. For instance, a snail wants to race in the Indy 500. Who would've thunk that they could actually make a good movie out of that? However, this didn't always work out in their favor. I don't think there's any way that they could've made a movie about a bee falling in love with a human woman and then suing the entire human race work.

Which leads me into the story of the first film idea we'll be talking about today - in 2005, DreamWorks announced a film called Route 66.

Route 66

What, exactly, was Route 66 supposed to be about?

Well, if you're like me and you haven't been to Route 66, there are all these neat things to see as you're driving down the road. Teepees and dinosaurs and a large blue whale (pictured below).

Insert some sort of Pinocchio-related joke here, I've got nothing.

DreamWorks' film about Route 66 was apparently supposed to be about a giant golf ball statue located on Route 66 named Mulligan voiced by Harland Williams. Would DreamWorks have been able to make audiences care about a giant golf ball the same way it made audiences care about a panda with the voice of Jack Black? Well, Route 66 for whatever reason didn't get made (maybe they thought it would've been too similar to PIXAR's Cars?), so we'll never know. But hey, maybe.

Concept art from the film.

It Came From Earth!

When DreamWorks announced Route 66 in 2005, they also announced a film called It Came From Earth!. This film was described as "a reverse alien invasion story told from the perspective of martians when human astronauts arrive". This, in my opinion, sounds like it would've been a lot more interesting than the DreamWorks movie about aliens that we DID eventually get, Home (seriously, WHY did they cast Rihanna as a character who is supposed to be a little girl?).

Actually, come to think of it, isn't that essentially the plot of Planet 51? Except there's just the one astronaut rather than a whole bunch of them?

I couldn't find any concept art for It Came From Earth!, so here's the DVD cover for Planet 51. I have not seen this movie, but it looked pretty lousy. I like the astronaut's expression and pose, though.

Shrek Goes Fourth

Remember when Shrek was a film beloved by audiences and considered a hilarious spoof of classic fairy tales? Well, it was indeed both of those things... until 2007, when Shrek the Third came out. When everyone saw how awful that movie was, Shrek quickly became a mockery. Nowadays, this franchise is mainly just liked for the multiple memes that it spawned.

Blah blah blah, check yourself before you Shrek yourself, yadda-yadda-yadda...

Well, before Shrek the Third came out, DreamWorks planned on having FIVE Shrek movies. FIVE. The plot for the actual fourth movie starring the Mike Myers-voiced ogre, Shrek Forever After*, was originally going to be the plot of Shrek Five, and Shrek 4 - or Shrek Goes Fourth** - was to be a prequel of sorts about Shrek telling his kids the story of how he found that swamp that they call home in the first place. Or maybe Shrek Forever After always had the plot it was released with and the "Shrek's backstory" thing was to be the plot of Shrek 5, I'm not one hundred percent sure which.

Either way, here's some concept art of a teenaged Shrek. It's very strange seeing Shrek so thin...

And then Shrek the Third came out and got negative reviews. I've seen multiple people refer to it as "Shrek the Turd". DreamWorks got the hint and decided that maybe they were better off just making ONE more Shrek movie as opposed to two (well, technically they DID make two more Shrek movies if we're counting the Puss in Boots spin-off film, but still...).

Thus, Shrek Forever After was released in 2010, didn't get very good reviews either (though its Rotten Tomatoes score is higher than that of Shrek the Third) and Shrek has since then only shown up in television specials and YouTube videos. Then a few years after the fourth film was released it was announced that they were actually making a fifth Shrek movie... or maybe it's going to be a reboot of the whole franchise, once again I'm not sure one hundred percent sure which. If it is indeed a fifth movie, this article is going to be pretty outdated.

Hopefully this at least means that all those Shrek food tie-ins that were everywhere when Shrek 2 and Shrek the Third were in theaters will be back. You know, the Shrek Twinkies, the Shrek M&Ms, the Shrek sundaes at Baskin-Robbins... all that stuff. I probably won't eat any of it, but still, I kind of hope that it'll all back for no other reason than to see people react to it.

Larrikins

Larrikins sounds like it would've been pretty interesting. The film was meant to be released in 2018 and focus on an uptight bilby named Perry (an Australian animal named Perry... where have I seen that before?) who gets kicked out of his burrow and finds himself in the middle of a musical adventure in the Australian outback. Other characters included a hard-edged authority-hating kangaroo named Red and a crocodile named Howard who believes that he is in charge of preventing 'non-native species' from spreading. Peter de Seve, who's done a lot of character designs for the Ice Age franchise, did some concept art for the film, which I have posted below.

Hugh Jackman, Margot Robbie, Ben Mendelsohn, Josh Lawson, and Rose Byrne were just some of the celebrities chosen to voice the film's characters. Alas, in 2017 it was revealed that Larrikins had been cancelled. Tim Minchin, one of the film's directors, was understandably not too thrilled about this.

On a positive note, elements and characters from the film wound up in a recent DreamWorks short called Bilby.

Tortoise vs. Hare

You know the story of "The Tortoise and the Hare", right? If you don't, here's a summary: a hare won't stop bragging about how fast he is, a tortoise says that he can beat him in a race, so they race, the hare takes the lead and then thinks that he can take a nap and the tortoise still won't be able to beat him, but the tortoise takes the lead while the hare is sleeping and wins the race, and the moral is apparently supposed to be that "slow and steady wins the race" but it comes across more as "don't be a cocky idiot and take a nap during a footrace."

"I can beat him... he might be fast, but he's also a lazy idiot!"

Well, in 1999, Aardman announced that they were planning an adaptation of the story with DreamWorks (this was just a year before their first DreamWorks-distributed film, Chicken Run, was released). The project ended up being postponed in 2001 so they could rework the script.

Why didn't we see this film? Well, DreamWorks had a habit of meddling with production of Aardman's third film distributed by them, Flushed Away (which I personally think is a hilarious film and definitely recommend watching). For one thing, it was originally supposed to be about pirates, but DreamWorks claimed that pirate films weren't marketable (this is before the first Pirates of the Caribbean film came out, but I bet they felt pretty stupid when they saw how much money THOSE films were making) and asked them to modernize the idea. They also insisted on more of the film's comic relief slugs.

The entire process was such a migraine for Aardman that they decided to stop letting DreamWorks distribute their films. They went over to Sony Pictures Animation after that, and eventually did indeed make a movie about pirates (which I haven't seen but I've heard great things about). Who knows, maybe someday they'll take another crack at "The Tortoise and the Hare". And by "they" I mean either Aardman or DreamWorks.

Here is a tortoise from an episode of Aardman's Creature Comforts.
I don't know why he's wearing a sweatband. Maybe he just completed a race against a hare?

Tusker

After Antz was released, DreamWorks announced in the December of 1998 that their next film would be Tusker. It would've been directed by the same directors that helmed Antz and focused on a herd of elephants trekking across Southeast Asia. I gotta say, going from a film about bugs to a film about elephants is a pretty big (pun intended) leap.

I love elephants, so I'm obviously pretty disappointing that this didn't get made. I'm not sure why it didn't get made - maybe the CGI department was too busy working on Shrek or something? But if that were the case, why not just make it traditionally-animated?

Here are some storyboards for the film posted by Frans Vischer on his blog:

I don't even have a funny comment here. I just REALLY WISH that this film got made!

While nothing ever came out of the project at DreamWorks, in 2008 it was revealed that the film was now under production at an animation company called Imagi (who also worked with DreamWorks on that Father of the Pride show). But then Imagi closed in 2011, and at no point in-between 2008 and 2011 did they actually release Tusker. In fact, I'm not even sure if they started working on it before the studio closed (they had quite a few other projects going at the time, mind you).

And speaking of cancelled films from DreamWorks' early days...

The Wanderer

This film was to be directed by Paul and Gaetan Brizzi (brothers who worked on a number of projects at Disney, including Tarzan, A Goofy Movie, and Fantasia 2000) and Simon Wells (who also directed We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story and The Time Machine and acted as a story artist on many of DreamWorks' other films). All we know about this one is that it was going to be about a stray bear who joins a group of circus bears and changes their lives. In 2012, Devin Crane uploaded some concept art for the film on his blog.

The project ended up being cancelled after Simon Wells went off to direct The Time Machine and some studio changes. We wouldn't get to see DreamWorks' take on a circus bear until ten years later when Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted came out.

Obviously the bears in The Wanderer were to be much more anthropomorphic than this one.

Truckers

I've never read the 1989 book Truckers or its sequels. When I first heard the name I thought "Is it about trucks? Or truck-drivers? Or something related to trucks at all?" Well, it's not about any of those things. It's about nomes (I didn't misspell that, in the book they're called "nomes" - just look at the book cover that I've posted below), tiny people who live hidden among humans. DreamWorks acquired the film rights in 2001 and began planning a film that combined all three books into one story. Initially, the film was to be directed by Andrew Adamson.

And apparently they have pet rats too.

Then in 2008, Danny Boyle (yes, the director of Slumdog Millionaire) was announced as the film's director, but the project ended up falling apart. Then in 2009 it was announced that Simon Beaufoy (who coincidentally enough ALSO worked on Slumdog Millionaire as the film's screenwriter) had been hired to work on the project, and in 2010 it was announced that the film was to be written by John Orloff (who also wrote Legend of the Guardians) and directed by Anand Tucker.

Long story short, I'm writing this article in 2019 and we still haven't gotten Truckers. I don't even know if DreamWorks still has the film rights.

Okay, now, this is just SOME of the films that DreamWorks planned on doing but didn't get around to completing. I limited this article to only talk about eight films because otherwise we'd have an extremely long article.

Actually, maybe I'm just being lazy by suggesting you look these films up yourselves instead of talking about them in this article, but again, if I actually DID talk about all of them we would have an extremely long article that you probably wouldn't find very fun to read.

And by the way, I didn't talk about Me and My Shadow because I'm honestly not sure if that's still in production or not. Same with that B.O.O. film that was gonna star Bill Murray and Seth Rogen, Madagascar 4, and Puss in Boots 2.

* I didn't realize this until I was writing this article, but... Shrek Forever After is intended to be a reference to the fact that it's the fourth Shrek movie. No, really. Shrek Forever After. Say it out loud if you don't believe me.

** I also just realized that Shrek Goes Fourth was intended to be a pun on Shrek Goes Forth. What do you think they were planning on calling the hypothetical SIXTH movie? Shrek Sics Puss in Boots on Some Hooligans That Won't Stay Out of His Swamp?

Let's Watch This: "Rio" (2011)

I think the reason why most reviewers review things that they don't like is because it's easier to get joke material out of something that's not good. Is it possible to make a funny review of a movie that you like? I don't know, but I'm gonna give it a shot.

First off, let's talk a little about Blue Sky Studios. For a while, they more or less became the animation studio that everyone hates (a title that used to be held by DreamWorks, then was held by Illumination Entertainment, and is now held by Sony Pictures Animation), which I don't think they deserve. Sure, they were way too reliant on Ice Age for a while (we didn't need FOUR SEQUELS TO IT), but it's not like they're incapable of making good films. I personally love the first Ice Age (and kinda like the third - the second and fourth ones are lousy and I haven't seen the fifth and make no plans to [and I'm going to be cautiously optomistic about the television series that'll be featured on the DisneyPlay streaming thing), Horton Hears a Who, and The Peanuts Movie.

Today, we'll be looking at another film of theirs that I personally am a fan of. That film is their 2011 release, Rio.

The movie begins with the sun rising over the city of Rio de Janerio... and a rainforest near the city. A bird flies around, waking up other birds, leading into our first musical number: "Real in Rio". I like the animation during the animation during this scene: the scarlet macaws doing their thing, the toucans dancing... Although (and this is admittedly a nitpick) it's pretty obvious that for the yellow macaws, they simply took the model for Blu, recolored him, and called it a day. I mean, I understand that CGI animation is expensive and all, but come on, couldn't you make it a little less obvious?

"Dude, have you noticed that we look EXACTLY THE SAME?"

The music wakes up an adorable blue macaw chick in a tree, who starts to dance to the music. But then, the musical number is interrupted by poachers... I'm sorry, smugglers, who capture all the birds. In the confusion, the chick falls out of the tree and gets captured as well. Soon he's in a truck in Minnesota, and the crate that he's in falls out of it and gets found by a little girl named Linda, who gently tells the little chick that she'll take care of him.

Years since that faithful day, Linda (voiced by Leslie Mann) now runs a bookstore, with the bird, who she's given the name Blu (voiced by Jesse Eisenberg), as her faithful assistant.

Uh... macaws don't have teeth, do they? What the heck is Blu brushing?

As he enjoys his hot chocolate, Blu is taunted by two geese outside voiced by Wanda Sykes and Jane Lynch. Question: what exactly was the purpose of getting celebrities to voice these characters who only show up in one scene and have very few lines? Not that Wanda and Jane do a bad job, but it's kind of weird, isn't it? You couldn't have just gotten, I dunno, Tress MacNeille to do them?
Granted, this sort of thing isn't new for Blue Sky - Robots had Paula Abdul, Jay Leno, and Randy Jackson as background characters with jack-squat in the way of lines (Jay Leno voices a fire hydrant at the beginning who congratulates Rodney's dad on his new baby, then notices a dog standing nearby and says "Don't even think about it.").

A guy named Tulio (voiced by Rodrigo Santoro) shows up, scaring the geese away. He explains that he's there because he heard that Linda has a rare "blue macaw" (it's actually called a Spix's Macaw) and then starts acting like a crazy person. Blu asks, "Linda, a little help here?" I don't blame you for being freaked out, Blu.

Anyhow, it turns out that they found a female blue macaw, and they want Blu to go to Rio de Janerio so that they can get it on. Linda isn't exactly a huge fan of the idea, she's kind of overprotective of Blu (he doesn't even fly) and let's be honest here, Tulio seems kind of crazy. So she turns him down, but that night Blu tries his hand at flying (and fails miserably), so she decides maybe he wants to go to Rio after all.

So it's off to Rio, where Tulio informs Linda about Carnival, and Blu meets a canary and a cardinal named Nico and Pedro (voiced by Jamie Foxx and will.i.am). They offer to get him out of his cage (Pedro says he'll "pop that cage open like a soda can), and give him some romantic advice when he reveals that he's there to meet a girl.

"Dude, somebody's doing a review of our movie. And it's full of unfunny jokes!"

They arrive at the bird sanctuary place, where Tulio allows birds to eat out of his mouth (which is in my opinion gross) and Blu discovers that the macaw he's there to meet, Jewel, is kind of a free spirit. Tulio makes Blu look "irresistible" - and by "irresistible" I mean stupid. Seriously, look at him.

He really thinks Jewel is going to find that attractive? She'll probably take one look at him and burst out laughing.

Jewel (voiced by Anne Hathaway) tackles Blu, then after Blu introduces himself, she leads him over to a tree (which he climbs up), and Blu assumes that it's time for some "repopulating". But when Blu tries to kiss her, Jewel gets angry - she was enlisting his help to escape the place. "Did you actually think that we were gonna kiss?!" she demands. "We just met!" Blu insists that it's all just a big misunderstanding, but then Tulio decides to set the mood with, uh, a disco ball and Lionel Ritchie music, and Jewel assumes that Blu is responsible for those things (for some reason... I mean, how could he have possibly summoned it?) and starts beating the heck out of him.

Linda is hesitant to leave Blu alone as she and Tulio go out to eat, but Tulio insists that the security guard, Sylvio (voiced by Bernardo De Paula), is super-competent. But then a fierce cockatoo named Nigel attacks him, getting him out of the way so that somebody can sneak in and steal the birds. Also, I did not need to see the guard in that outfit. You couldn't just have him dancing to the music with his normal clothes on?

(I was gonna put a screencap of the guard in the outfit here, but I decided to spare you all)

Meanwhile, Blu is trying to sleep, and Jewel is still trying to escape. "I wouldn't expect a pet to understand," Jewel says. "I am not a pet. I am a companion," Blu insists. Jewel asks why she would want to be with a human over his own kind and claims that you can't trust humans. We don't any explanation as to why Jewel doesn't trust humans, but I guess they thought the implication that she was captured by humans and brought to this place for reasons that she probably doesn't understand was enough. Blu insists that humans are awesome and then Nigel's partner-in-crime sneaks in and nabs them.

Linda obviously isn't thrilled to discover that Blu's been stolen and initially blames herself, then blames Tulio for dragging her into this mess in the first place. Tulio says, "I don't understand! Sylvio is the best guard in the business!" I dunno, I think anyone who dresses like that wouldn't make for a very competent guard.

Meanwhile, the birdnapper is bringing the birds to his employer's lair. Blu is repeating to himself, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home..." Sorry, Blu, but that only worked for Dorothy because she was dreaming.

It turns out that the birdnapper is a boy named Fernando (voiced by Jake T. Austin), who was sent to nab the blue macaws by an evil guy named Marcel (voiced by Carlos Ponce). Marcel has two idiot henchmen named Tipa (voiced by Jeffery Garcia) and Armando (voiced by Davi Vieira). Remember that gag in the Nostalgia Critic's review of Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw where the villain's two idiot henchmen point out that they're in every single movie ever? The fat guy and the skinny guy who are both thugs? That same joke applies here. Because Marcel's henchmen are that stereotype. Fernando isn't evil, of course - he's only working with the smugglers because... I don't know why he's helping them (apparently he's just really desperate for money?).

Jewel tries to escape (she's not trying to abandon Blu, she just doesn't know he can't fly yet and was expecting him to follow her) but Nigel (voiced by Jermaine Clement) stops her and puts her back in the cage. Then Fernando brings the cage into the room where Mr. Sunglasses and Stupid Haircut keeps all of his OTHER smuggled birds. I like the gag about the bat being among the caged birds.

"You gotta get me outta here! This cage is driving me BATTY!"

(I know, I know, it's an obvious joke...)

So Marcel's all, "We're going to be rich!" and Fernando is bummed because instead of being a normal kid he's stuck working for these three idiots.

Then we cut to Sleazy McSmuggler Guy and his two idiot henchmen. Sleazy is making a deal with some guys to deliver the blue macaws to them, and then it's time for Nigel's feeding. Here we learn that Nigel is a cannibal. Just like Woodstock:

I have this movie to thank for making me a fan of Jermaine Clement. He does a wonderful job as Nigel.

Then Nigel enters the room where the smuggled birds are kept and tells Blu and Jewel (and the audience) his backstory. He used to be the star of a television show, but then they decided to ditch him for a parakeet. He didn't take it well, and decided to get revenge on all pretty birds.

I actually like Nigel's song, though I will admit the rap portion in the middle is kind of cringe-worthy (though the gag about him blaming seagulls for his pooping on people is pretty funny).

Jewel then tries to bust out of the cage, which gets the attention of the smugglers and Nigel. Blu then shows her that they can just pick the lock on the cage, and Jewel decides to fly for it. And it's NOW that Blu reveals that he can't fly, causing them to fly to the ground, slide across a clothesline, and land in a pile of boxes. "Is there anything else I need to know?!" Jewel demands. "Yes!" Blu replies. "I can't fly, I pick my beak, and once in a while I pee in the birdbath!" That's funny, but I have to ask... how is it physically possible for Blu to pick his beak?

And apparently Blu is really heavy, too, because Jewel can't fly when he's
chained to her.

Then it's time for a chase sequence between Blu, Jewel, Nigel, and Sleazy Smuggler Guy's idiot henchmen. There's a cute gag here where Blu barks like a dog to scare off a cat that's in their path, then says that he's bilingual. Long story short, Blu and Jewel get away and escape into the jungle, where Blu is freaking out - for a bird that can't fly, the jungle is a pretty dangerous place. Fortunately, they find some sort of structure where they can sleep.

Meanwhile, Linda and Tulio are searching for Blu, and the next morning Fernando finds one of the posters they put up and informs Linda that he knows where Blu is. And Tulio continues to be incredibly weird.

Everybody has their little quirks.

Then we see Blu and Jewel trying to break the chain, but it backfires on them spectacularly. Then baby toucans show up and attack them, but the father toucan, Rafael (voiced by George Lopez) saves them. This is actually the only voiceover role that George Lopez has had so far that doesn't make me question why he hasn't fired his agent. He also voiced Grouchy Smurf in those live action Smurfs movies (despite the fact that George Lopez's voice does not fit a teeny-tiny Smurf at all), the orange slug alien guy in that Escape From Planet Earth thing (which I haven't seen and I plan to keep it that way) and one of the Chihuahuas in Beverly Hills Chihuahua... ah yes, and he was also going to voice Speedy Gonzales in that live-action/CGI hybrid movie about him that fortunately didn't get off the ground. Yeah...

Anyhow, Rafael says that he knows this guy named Luiz who can get the chain off, but first he must ask permission from his wife (voiced by Bebel Gilberto). His wife's initially suspicious that he just wants to sneak off to Carnaval, but Rafael somehow convinces her that this isn't the case by reminding her of when THEY met at Carnaval. And we find out that Rafael's wife can't sing.

"WHAPAH!"

So anyhow, Smuggling Mr. Sleazy  decides that since his idiot henchmen are morons who are able to get outsmarted by parrots, he is putting Nigel in charge of finding the macaws. Then we cut back to Blu, Jewel, and Rafael. Rafael decides to teach Blu how to fly. His idea is to have Blu and Jewel jump off a mountain, but wouldn't you know it, Blu chickens out as they're running (and as he points out, I'm pretty sure Rafael's whole "one of you flaps their left wing, the other flaps their right wing, together you fly" plan wouldn't have worked anyway) and he and Jewel fall off the cliff and onto a hang-glider. They ride the hang-glider for a minute or so, but then they fall off and WHACKY SHENANIGANS ENSUE.

"Blue Sky Studios' next movie after this is a FOURTH ICE AGE MOVIE?!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Nigel, meanwhile, enlists the help of some marmosets to find the macaws. Why marmosets? Well, because as the Nostalgia Critic said, Hollywood thinks that monkeys automatically equals funny. Why did I mention the Nostalgia Critic TWICE? Now I'm afraid that I'm just going to come across as a Nostalgia Critic wannabe (though I think that ship has sailed already).

"Make one Flight of the Conchords joke and I'll eat you alive!"

Blu, Jewel, and Rafael run into Nico and Pedro, who as it turns out are buddies of Rafael (Nico's "Baby got beak" joke is pretty awkward). They say that they just missed Luiz, but there's plenty of time before the next cable car shows up to do a little PARTYING and take them to the Tiki Room Rave Party. Actually, now that Disney owns FOX, I wouldn't be surprised if they decide to stick characters from the film in the Enchanted Tiki Room*. I don't think it's necessary for that to happen, but eh, it can't be any worse than when Iago and Zazu ran the place.

Tweety Bird can suck it. NICO is the best cartoon canary.

This leads to the movie's next song, "Hot Wings". Which is awesome. DANG can Jamie Foxx sing. If this song is included, I would be totally fine with a retheme of the Tiki Room based on this movie. Anyhow, this is also the scene where it becomes obvious (as if it wasn't already) that Blu and Jewel have feelings for each other. But before they can get repopulating the species, the marmosets arrive and tell them that they are coming with them. Rafael tries to be the peacemaker, but the lead marmoset insults him, and the other birds say that if they mess with their friends, they mess with THEM. And then it's (as Pedro puts it) BIRDS VS. MONKEYS!

What WOULD happen if a flock of birds went at it with a bunch of marmosets?
Now I'm curious...

Then the cable car arrives, but a spoonbill named Kipo (also voiced by Bernardo De Paula) gives Blu and Jewel a lift. Nico channels Indiana Jones and takes out the marmosets. And Blu says that he and Jewel are like "cheese and sprinkles". Do people actually say that in Minnesota?

So then we cut back to Linda, Tulio and the kid. Fernando admits that he's the one who took them and Tulio makes this face.

He does not approve of this film's use of the "Liar Revealed" cliché. Actually, DOES this qualify as the "Liar Revealed" cliché? Fernando didn't actually lie about being involved with the bird-napping, he just... didn't bring it up.

Then Fat Idiot Henchman and Idiot Thin Henchmen show up dressed in stupid chicken outfits while Linda and Tulio hide. Apparently, they're going to be in Carnival. When they leave, Linda and Tulio decide that they must stop the two idiot henchmen and decide to use a motorcycle to do it. Tulio can't drive it to save his life, but of course Linda can do it with ease (because it's just like riding a snowmobile).

Nigel interrogates a rejected Angry Birds character** on the whereabouts of the "cerulean birds", and then we cut back to our heroes. Blu tries to make the moves on Jewel, but he's not very good at it. And then the others decide to set the mood, which leads to another song - and this is performed by Jamie Foxx, too. Seriously, if Jamie Foxx does any more voiceover work, the projects he lends his voice to better have him sing. Otherwise, that's just a waste. But alas, the romantic mood is ruined by Blu swallowing a petal.

Then they finally arrive at Luiz's garage. Luiz, as it turns out, is a bulldog (voiced by Tracy Morgan). It isn't specified if he actually owns the garage or if he just has an owner that we never see. While I like Luiz, I'm not a fan of the fact that he CONSTANTLY DROOLS (I'm sorry Luiz, I know you can't help it and that it's a medical condition).

Somehow, Luiz has access to dangerous machinery which he plans on using to cut the chain, but Jewel decides to fly for it, resulting in Blu barely missing the whirling blades. Thankfully, the day is saved by Luiz's drool, which allows Blu and Jewel's talons to slip out of the chain.

Did you know that bulldogs got their name from their use in an English sport
called "bullbaiting", which involves tethering a bull to a stake in the ground and encouraging
the dogs to try and bite the bull's nose? Yes, that DOES sound like a really cruel (and stupid) sport.

Then we get the typical "couple has an argument", during which Blu admits that he hates samba, much to everyone's shock. He claims that every song sounds exactly the same (which is my opinion on most modern music today, just FYI). Blu storms off in one direction, Jewel flies off in another, and Rafael, Nico and Pedro know that it's up to them to get them back together.

Ah yes, and Luiz puts on an outfit just like the one the guard wore earlier. What is this movie's fascination with male characters in that outfit? It's not as disturbing as when the guard wore it, but still...

Nico and Pedro decide to catch up with Jewel as she flies off in order to convince her not to give up on Blu, but Nigel shows up. Jewel tries to claw his eyes out, but Nigel grabs her by the legs and announces that she's taking her to a parade. And everyone loves a parade.

Meanwhile, Rafael catches up with Blu and informs him that he's not going to Carnival, he's going home to be with his family - he loves Carnival, but he loves his family more, and that's a decision that he made with his heart, not his head. Then Nico and Pedro show up and inform them that Nigel has Jewel, and Blu is all "NOT ON MY WATCH! WE'RE GONNA GO SAVE HER!". So it's off to Carnival!

Marcel the Sleazy Smuggler Sleaze Guy discovers that the idiot henchmen have made a float that looks like, um, this.

I think even the Great Gonzo would find this float hideous.

Linda and Tulio sneak into the parade dressed as Blu and Jewel, but Linda is mistaken for a dancer and shoved into a float. And then Carnival begins. And nobody likes Marcel and his idiot henchmen's float, where Jewel is in a cage.

When I first saw the movie, I wondered why Jewel didn't just bust out of the cage. I guess maybe she remembered that it didn't work for her when she tried it in the cage she was in back at the smuggers' hideout, but in that case, why doesn't she just pick the lock as soon as Nigel has his back turned? Maybe she knows deep down that Blu will be there to rescue her?

EDIT: My mistake, Blu didn't pick the lock before. He just knew how to open the cage from inside. So Jewel probably just doesn't know how to pick the lock. Or open the cage from inside, for that matter.

Blu and the others show up, and Linda spots Blu among the dancers. Blu has to decide - go back to Linda, or save his love interest? Of course, he chooses to go rescue Jewel.

Imagine having to render and then animate all those individual people. I hope
the animators were paid well...

Blu uses a skateboard to make it to the float and lets Jewel know that he's there. But that's just what Nigel wanted him to do! I like the gag where Blu says that he's got backup, and then we see Rafael, Nico and Pedro in another cage, and Pedro doesn't realize that Blu is referring to them and starts cheering that they're going to be rescued.

So the smugglers are getting away with the birds, but Linda is all "OH, HECK NO!" and steals a Carnival float. It's Sleazy Smugger and Idiot Henchmen Fighting Time!

Well, okay, no it isn't. Instead, the smugglers fly off in their plane. Dang, it would've been awesome seeing Smuggler the Smuggling Sleazebag and his idiot henchmen get their rear ends handed to them by Linda and Tulio.

So, how will our heroes get out of this mess? Easy - Blu pops his cage open like a soda can using a fire hydrant, and then he lets Jewel out, and then they let Rafael, Pedro and Nico out, and they all start freeing the other birds. Then they get the door on the back of the plane open and all the birds except Blu and Jewel fly for it. Jewel says they'll figure out how they can get Blu out of there together.

But then Nigel arrives and tackles Blu. Jewel tries to fight him, but Nigel launches her into a wall, injuring her wing in the process. Nigel is all "Now we have TWO birds who can't fly, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" But then Blu is all "I don't think so, pal!" and uses the fire hydrant to send Nigel flying. Then Nigel says hello to Mr. Jet Turbine (though we find out during the credits that he survived).

Sleazy and the idiots jump out of the plane (in case you're wondering what happens to them, during the credits we see a photo of them in jail). Jewel falls out of the plane, and Blu jumps out after her. He has no plan here, other than "NOT LETTING GO OF MY LOVE", but then Jewel makes out with Blu, and then the power of love allows Blu to fly. "I'M NOT AN OSTRICH!" he shouts.

Then they make it back to Linda and Tulio. Ah yes, and Fernando, who apparently caught up to them offscreen. Tulio is all "I'll fix Blu's girlfriend's broken wing". Thus Jewel learns to trust humans, and soon she's ready to fly again. And Linda now works at the bird sanctuary (so who's running the bookstore back in Minnesota?), as does Fernando. And we end with a reprise of "Real in Rio", which thankfully means I get to hear Jamie Foxx sing again. During the song, we see that the two macaws have had chicks (who look nothing like they do in the sequel, but to be fair they probably didn't know that they were gonna have a sequel yet).

Oh, and Nigel survived, but he now looks like this.

Suck it up, Nigel. You got sucked into a JET TURBINE, you should consider yourself
lucky to even be alive.

So how does Rio hold up? Well, I personally like it. It's no Ice Age, but that's to be expected. It's got likeable characters, good songs, decent animation, and the voice actors all do a good job. I admittedly don't care all that much about the human characters (the idiot henchmen in particular I can do without), but I can stomach them fine. I'll admit that most of my comments in this review are nitpicks, but they don't take away from my enjoyment of the film, they're just little questions I have.

I would recommend giving it a watch. I haven't seen Rio 2, but I've heard that it's not very good, but who knows? If you liked the first one, maybe you'll like the second one as well. I don't know if they're gonna make a third one.

* Then again, I have heard rumors that they might be adding a Brazil pavilion to EPCOT. Maybe if they do, they can just stick a ride based on the film in there.

** He even throws the bird into a pile of crates (she hits a marmoset, but still).