Let's Watch This - "Delhi Safari" (2012)

So, here's what you guys are probably wondering: what the heck is Delhi Safari? The answer to that question is this... in my opinion, a mediocre-at-best movie. Yeah, I'm gonna try not to be too harsh, but this is not a very good film.

Okay, so Delhi Safari is actually an Indian animated film that was dubbed in English. It was released in 2012, and wound up with a 15% on Rotten Tomatoes. I didn't learn that last little tidbit until AFTER I started watching it so that I could review it. If I had, perhaps I would've known better than to give it a watch.

So, what exactly is so awful about this movie? Let's find out, shall we?

The movie begins at some sort of natural park. A baby leopard voiced by Tara Strong says, "I don't wanna go someplace else... my home is HERE." So we start the movie with a cute animal that's incredibly depressed. Not the best way to start a film, guys...

Then suddenly out of nowhere we cut to earlier that morning and see the baby leopard and his father... uh, practicing their brawling or whatever? I dunno... so anyway, the mother leopard shows up, and... god, this is boring. The only thing it's got going for it so far is the fact that Tara Strong voices the main character.

The Mother Leopard (Vanessa Williams) says that both of them deserve "a smack on the bum". Father Leopard (Cary Elwes) is all "But the kid's gotta learn self-defense!"

The Father Leopard looks like he's high right now.

So the leopard cub, whose name is Yuvi, tells his mom to "chill" and warns his dad that he'll likely be sleeping outside of the cave tonight (two cringe-worthy lines in a row!). Father Leopard says that he knows how to get back on her good side... with a SONG, of course. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay...

As you might have guessed, the song that they sing is pretty lousy. I mean, the Father Leopard isn't a bad singer, but A) the lyrics are dreck and B) what is the point?! Aside from "to get the mother to cheer up".

The Mother Leopard's making that expression because she hates the song
just as much as I do.

Later that day, Yuvi and his father hear a strange rumbling noise. Then they see a tree being uprooted. And many more. And then, a large mechanical monster appears in front of them!

I love the fact that it looks like it has teeth. If their intention was for this to look
frightening, giving it HILLBILLY TEETH was not the way to do it.

The leopards run from the weird Dr. Seuss-esque vehicle in a scene TOTALLY different from that scene in The Lion King with the wildebeest stampede (that was sarcasm, for those that couldn't tell. Seriously, even the music sounds similar). But there are MORE of them! And then they come across a big portion of the, uh, chasm that's being cleared out with bulldozers and giant cranes and crap like that building something.

Yep, this is one of those ENVIRONMENTAL films. You'd think that the human race would've learned by now to protect the environment, but apparently not because pretty much every other year we get an animated film about how we should protect the environment.

Father Leopard decides to save Yuvi by tossing him to his mate. Just in time, too, because then the Father Leopard actually gets shot.







Geez, this movie took a dark turn all of a sudden...

As it turns out, the construction crew is building some sort of... condo, I guess called "Residency Towers". That night, the animals hold a meeting to decide what to do, and the wise old owl (because if an owl shows up in something animated, it's gonna be wise) tells Yuvi that they all have to run away from the natural park. Wait a second, if it's a natural park, why would people be building a condo there? Is that allowed?

And I know this might be considered a nitpick, but where did the owl get glasses?

The other animals all like the idea of running for it, but a monkey voiced by Carlos Alazraqui dubs them all cowards and says that they can't let the humans drive them from their home. Then he and some other monkeys shout "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!"

Oh, and he sounds like Clint Eastwood.
A monkey that sounds like Clint Eastwood. Sure, why not?

Then a bear voiced by Brad Garrett tells the monkey that he's always yammering about war and fighting and blah-blah-blah and that fighting's not the answer to everything. Why are we only introducing all of these main characters NOW?

"I'm smarter than the AV-ER-AGE bear!"

The monkey, whose name is Bushrongi (I might've spelled it wrong), goes into a painfully unfunny rant (I swear that the lip-syncing as he's ranting is off, by the way) and tells the bear that he just doesn't get it. "I know all about humans..." he snarls. The bear says that surely not ALL humans are as awful as Bushrongi is making them out to be (and I'm pretty sure that the lip-syncing as HE'S talking is off, too). Then Bushrongi points out that even if they follow the bear's suggestion of just TALKING to the humans, they don't know how to speak their language.

But it turns out that a nearby pigeon (Christopher Lloyd) knows somebody who DOES know how to speak their language!

"Excuse me, could somebody help me find the set of Valiant?"

The pigeon does an unfunny comedy routine that consists of him talking really fast and trying to remember the name of this guy who knows how to talk to humans. Bushrongi keeps insisting that the only way to save their home is through WAR, and then the Mother Leopard tells him to shut up. It's been decided... in two days, they're leaving the jungle.

The next day, Yuvi pays the pigeon a visit and asks him where Mr. I Can Talk To Humans lives. I guess the pigeon's shtick is that his memory is lousy because he needs to be reminded of what Yuvi looks like. Anyhow, the pigeon says that the animal that can talk to humans is a parrot named Alex - the pet of a big film director. Yuvi has a plan.

Then we cut to the bear trying to get the monkey to calm the heck down. This leads to ANOTHER song. This one's not very good either. Heck, the pigeon even agrees with me!

Anyhow, Yuvi puts his plan into motion - he and the pigeon visit Bushrongi and Yuvi is all "The pigeon doesn't think you're the strongest animal in the jungle." and Bushrongi says, "Oh, he DOESN'T, huh?" and promptly points a GUN at the pigeon. And this character is one of the good guys, ladies and gentlemen!

Yuvi clarifies - what Mr. Pigeon said, it would seem, is that if Bushrongi got into an arm-wrestling contest, he would be beaten easily. Bushrongi is all "I'LL SHOW YOU!" and promptly arm-wrestles his equally-hideous monkey henchmen. Then Yuvi is all "I told him that you could rescue this parrot named Alex in the city, but he doesn't believe me!", which gets Bushrongi on board with their rescue plan.

Then we cut to Alex doing... a Bollywood musical number? What?!

Rio this is not.

Okay, so Yuvi, the pigeon, the bear, and the monkeys have somehow gotten to the city already. And there's a fart joke. Classy, fellas. Alex's owner and his girlfriend show up just as the animals are sneaking in, but they manage to grab the parrot and bring him back to their jungle.

Mother Leopard yells at Discount Baloo and Bushrongi for endangering her cub, then Alex launches into an unfunny standup routine. And it took me this long to realize that Alex is voiced by Tom Kenny. The parrot demands to be taken home, but then he and Bushrongi get into an argument.

"I don't know who I find more annoying, the monkey or the bird..."

The bear tells Alex, "Just because you're from the city doesn't mean you're not one of us. Don't forget your jungle heritage." Alex replies, "Take a chill pill, dude." Because people were still saying that in 2012, right? Alex and Bushrongi argue some more, and then Yuvi tells Alex that he's their only hope - if they're gonna reason with the humans, they're gonna need Alex to be their voice. Alas, Alex is an unlikable jerk and says that he doesn't have time to go from human to human trying to reason with them. At one point during his rant, he brings up Delhi, which as it turns out the animals don't know about. Alex replies, "You don't know Delhi?! It's the capital of our country, Bonehead! You know, CNN, IBM, BBC, ministers, committees, kickbacks, blackmail...." God, I can practically hear Tom Kenny cringing as he's recording this character's dialogue.

Blah blah blah, eventually Yuvi realizes that they just have to go talk to Delhi. Alex is still a stubborn jerk, but then the big mechanical monster things show up again to do more tree-chopping-down-ing, which causes the Mother Leopard to have some flashbacks.

The Mother Leopard decides that Yuvi is right - they have to go to Delhi. This results in Bushrongi coming up with a plan. A plan to get rid of the parrot so that the animals will turn to him, and then Bushrongi will finally be able to have WAR!

Of course, Alex STILL refuses to come along, but the animals decide to SING ANOTHER SONG in order to convince him to come along. And it just goes on FOREVER. Eventually, Alex decides to help... and wait, Yuvi and the pigeon aren't coming along? But it was their idea!

Anyhow, while the Mother Leopard, the bear, Alex and the monkeys are on the train, Bushrongi considers shooting, then taking a chainsaw to, then using a switchblade on Alex (again, one of the good guys!), but eventually decides against it. The train arrives at a station, and there are people outside freaking out because there are animals on it. How did they find out? Well, apparently Yuvi is there... he followed them, I guess. I'm glad he's here, he's one of the only characters in the movie I kinda like.

The exact moment that Yuvi realizes he's in an awful movie.

Fortunately, the animals are able to escape, and Yuvi says that his dad came to him while he was sleeping. Alex and Bushrongi start going at it again, and this is another scene that consists of Bushrongi acting like a violent psycho, Alex making unfunny pop culture references, and me being tempted to turn this movie off.

Then Bushrongi meets back up with his idiot henchmen and takes a leak. I'm not kidding. That's what he does.

Afterwards, Bushrongi tells the others that if they follow the train tracks, they'll get to Delhi. So they do that, but then they come across a fork in the tracks. Alex says, "Common sense?! NONSENSE! Leave it to the monkey! We could end up in Madagascar!" I can't be the only one who thinks that was intended to be a reference to a certain OTHER animated movie, can I?

Then they meet a bat named Rajool (again, I could've spelled his name wrong) voiced by Brian George. He gives them a map, then Alex says, "Do you have a map to help us READ THE MAP?!" Rajool agrees with me and replies, "Hey, I'd go easy on the sarcasm if I was you."

And guess what?! Then we get ANOTHER SONG! This song serves no purpose other than to reiterate the whole "PROTECT THE ENVIRONMENT, YOU IDIOTS!" moral. Let me make something clear: yes, we should protect the environment. However, we don't need the animated bat to perform an awful song about how we should protect the environment.

Anyhow, then the animals travel through a desert, where they encounter a flamingo (Jason Alexander) who promptly starts up ANOTHER SONG. Seriously?! And we get more singing from Alex and Bushrongi. And let me tell you this, Bushrongi can't sing to save his life.

Mother Leopard asks the Flamingo if he can help them find their way to Delhi. The Flamingo warns them to avoid the caves on the other side of the valley, which are the lair of this evil guy named Kaliah (again, I only THINK that's how you spell his name) and his hyenas. Why are hyenas in cartoons always villains? The only good guy hyenas in cartoons I can think of are Hardy Harr Harr and that one hyena from The Lion Guard.

So the Father Leopard comes to Yuvi in his sleep again. Yuvi tries to wake up the others, but Father Leopard tells him that they won't be able to see him like Yuvi can. "None of them know how close I really am," he says. "Only YOU know." He also tells Yuvi to be extra-vigilant, for Yuvi's enemies are at work... and they, too, might be closer than they appear. For example, Bushrongi is trying to off Alex again.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND then Yuvi, Bushrongi and Alex are ambushed by Kaliah (Dave Wittenberg) and the hyenas.

Seriously, they even LOOK LIKE the Hyenas from The Lion King. How blatant
do they need to be?

Kaliah asks a hyena named Ed... I mean, Pierre what's on the menu, and Pierre is all, "WE'RE EATIN' THOSE GUYS OVER THERE!" Bushrongi tries to summon his idiot henchmen, but they're too scared to fight the hyenas. Fortunately, the Mother Leopard shows up, and heck hath no fury like an animal whose cub is in danger.

And here's a screencap of Ed - errr, I mean, Pierre.

Mother Leopard and the bear - I think his name is Bagga, though I probably should have mentioned that earlier - beat up the hyenas, and Alex defeats one by SCREAMING AT IT. Bushrongi feels guilty that he put Yuvi in danger, and just to add insult to injury, now Alex has laryngitis.

The flamingo and his wife (Jane Lynch) tell the animals to go to this wise old hermit named Baba or something, who turns out to be a turtle. Because as we all know, the wisest animals in animation after owls are always turtles.

Boy, Master Oogway has really let himself go...

The solution to Alex's problem, according to the turtle, is a compound consisting of chickory mustard seed, the bark of a tree ground very fine, saffron, and crap like that. Bushrongi is chosen to collect all the ingredients, and we are treated to scene after scene of Bushrongi collecting them and getting into WACKY SHENANIGANS. That night, Bushrongi gets into an argument with his two idiot henchmen.

And it just keeps going and going... seriously, it just feels like the whole movie is dragging on forever and ever.

It turns out that Alex's "laryngitis" got better and I guess he was just pretending otherwise because he found it hilarious seeing Bushrongi get into WACKY SHENANIGANS. Bushrongi is so enraged that he starts chasing after Alex, but ends up ticking off some bees (the leader of which is ALSO voiced by Cary Elwes).

Oh, and did I mention all the slow-motion shots? Yeah, there are a million of THOSE in this movie, too.

Fortunately, the animals come across a... mine shaft? At least, I think it's supposed to be a mine shaft? The bees follow them in, but Yuvi sees a sign with a mine cart on it, so they go in the direction that the sign is pointing in and climb aboard a mine cart.

"Isn't this just like that scene from Indiana Jones?"
"No, no! It's completely different! Really!"

The bees are STILL after them, Bushrongi and Alex are still arguing, Mother Leopard is still mad at Bushrongi, and because they're in a mine cart they end up going on a roller coaster ride. I've admittedly never been in a mine, are mine cart tracks really like this? You know, like roller coasters? Yuvi, Mother Leopard and Bagga end up flying out of the cart, but Alex's foot is stuck, which Bushrongi considers karma. Eventually Bushrongi and Alex end up flying out of the mine and onto the ground below. The bees bug off (pardon the pun) and Bushrongi and Alex realize that they were jerks.

That night, the animals meet a tiger (Troy Baker) who explains that he's the only tiger left in the area thanks to those pesky humans, and he's pretending to be a cat in order to avoid being hunted as well. Alex gives a big speech about how he now realizes how important it is to save our jungles, only for Mother Leopard to announce that they're not going to Delhi - she believes that all humans are evil and she doesn't want anyone else getting hurt. Then Yuvi sees his father again, and this time Bagga can see him too. He tells Mother Leopard that she just has to look in Yuvi. I will give credit where credit is due, this IS an admittedly decent scene, mainly due to the performances that Tara Strong, Tom Kenny, Troy Baker, and Brad Garrett give.

Long story short, everyone can see the Father Leopard now, and they go on their way accompanied by (sigh) ANOTHER SONG. Eventually they arrive in Dehli and the Mother Leopard comes up with a plan (after a long rant from Bagga about how they don't have a plan) - to jump out of the truck that they're hiding in and freak everyone out, causing them to pursue them and then some guys from CNN with video cameras show up. This is Alex's cue to sing a song about how the jungles need to be protected. That doesn't work, then Alex tells the others that the song was just him getting their attention and gives a big speech in which he begs the people to listen to what the song was about as opposed to just laughing at the singing parrot.

After a montage, the Prime Minister arrives to hear what the Tom Kenny-voiced parrot has to say. Alex tells the people that millions of animals are coming to attack them, and that they won't stop until all humans are either extinct or in a cage. Then he says that this isn't true, but wouldn't it be terrifying if that DID happen? "Because that's how you made US feel. Every day. For CENTURIES. You ATTACK us, with your GUNS, your BULLDOZERS, your POLLUTION," the bird says. "Do you think that we feel nothing? Isn't our habitat our HOME?" And again, I gotta admit, this is a pretty powerful scene. Props to Tom Kenny.

It works - the Prime Minister gives a press conference to save wildlife and stop deforestation. An animal rights law is made, the new condo is cancelled, everyone's happy, the end.

And here's a picture of the cute leopard cub to end this review on a positive note.

So, is Dehli Safari a good movie? Yeah, no. There's a lot to dislike about it. The animation is mediocre (though I've seen worse). The songs are awful. The jokes aren't funny. Many of the characters are either boring (the Mother Leopard), unlikable (Bushrongi) or annoying (the flamingos). Talented people like Christopher Lloyd, Jason Alexander, and Carlos Alazraqui are wasted (especially Christopher Lloyd - why couldn't the pigeon have come along?). And the film blatantly plagiarizes The Lion King several times. But I will say this - near the end of the film, it DOES get a little better. The message is solid. I admittedly kind of liked the leopard cub and the bear. And Tara Strong, Brad Garrett, and Tom Kenny give good performances. So, yeah, there are some good things about it, but all in all I don't think this movie is worth your time.

One more thing - protect the environment and animals. PLEASE. It's their planet too. And if you don't, we'll likely get even more movies like this.

P.S. I like how Yuvi - who I'm pretty sure is intended to be the film's main character - isn't even featured on the poster at the top of the review. Clearly it was much more important to have Bushrongi's two idiot sidekicks and the flamingos on there than the film's MAIN CHARACTER. Yeah...

P.P.S. I also like how they've got Jane Lynch in the top billing when her character barely did anything of importance. Could've put Tara Strong, Tom Kenny, and/or Carlos Alazraqui's names in the top billing, too. Just saying.