Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Help! It's the Hair Bear Bunch!"

Back in 2006, I received a CD of theme songs from various cartoon shows. I remember listing to the CD in the car and as a result being introduced to a couple of different shows from long before I came around. Among these shows were Captain Kangaroo (I don't know why that was on a CD of cartoon theme songs, but eh), The Chattanooga Cats, Go Go Gophers, Roger Ramjet, and the show that we'll be looking at today - a little Hanna-Barbera cartoon starring three goofy bears with very little fashion sense.

Help!... It's the Hair Bear Bunch! made its debut in 1971, one of three different cartoon shows that Hanna-Barbera created that year (the others being The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show and The Funky Phantom). I was surprised to discover that the show only had one season consisting of only sixteen episodes. Apparently, CBS cancelled the show because it didn't appeal to the younger audience that it was aiming at. It eventually wound up in syndication on USA Network, Cartoon Network, and Boomerang, then all sixteen episodes were eventually released on DVD.

The show takes place at the Wonderland Zoo... which leads me to believe that it takes place in the same universe as Alice in Wonderland. Who knows, maybe the Hair Bear Bunch is friends with the Mad Hatter and the March Hare? Anyhow, the titular Hair Bear Bunch lives at the zoo in a cave. They consist of leader Hair Bear (Daws Butler using his Hokey Wolf voice), his more level-headed confederate Bubi Bear (Paul Winchell), and the laid-back but dimwitted Square Bear (Bill Callaway). They enjoy sneaking out of the zoo and giving zookeeper Mr. Peevly (John Stephenson) a migraine, which his dopey assistant Lionel Botch (Joe E. Ross) was also quite good at. They have an invisible motorcycle (yes, I am not making that up) and also enlist the help of the other zoo animals with their zany schemes. So essentially, it's a cross between Wally Gator and Yogi Bear with a bit of Hogan's Heroes thrown in there too.

So, did the Hair Bear Bunch deserve their unpopularity among viewers, or is it actually a hidden gem in the vast library of Hanna-Barbera shows? Why don't we find out? But which episode to watch? I know, how about the very first episode, "Keep Your Keeper"? Why do I keep asking so many questions?

The episode begins with Hair, Bubi and Square sneaking back into the zoo at night. They wind up setting off an alarm, alerting Mr. Peevly and Botch, but they were prepared for this and made cardboard cutouts of themselves to fool them. Maybe Mr. Twiddle should give this guy some pointers, I seem to recall him foiling most of Wally Gator's attempts to escape.

I know people say that Hanna-Barbera shows have bad animation, but this is RIDICULOUS!"

After that (and the quite catchy theme song), the bears arrive back at their cave and, once Mr. Peevly and Botch arrive, claim that they did not, in fact, sneak out of the zoo and into town. Mr. Peevly isn't fooled because he's not an idiot and demands to know where they went, so Hair has Bubi tell him. This allows Bubi to demonstrate his main personality trait - that you can barely understand him. Or should I say BEARly understand him?

I know, I know, but I felt obligated to make that joke...

"Why, no, sir, I am NOT just Yogi Bear in an afro wig!"

The Hair Bear Bunch might've won this round, but Mr. Peevly announces that tomorrow he's going to double the watch and triple the search lights. "And the next time you try to sneak into town, I'll nab you, oh, I'll nab you!" he threatens. "And then I'll ship you bears so far back in the forest YOU'LL NEED AN ARMY OF SCOUTS TO FIND YOUR WAY OUT! Pleasant dreeeeeeeeeeeeams, heh-heh-heh-heh-HEEEEEEEEEH..."

Once Mr. Peevly and Botch leave, Bubi pushes his foot down on a rock, revealing all of the bears' modern conveniences that I guess they keep hidden from Mr. Peevly. I'm not sure why they feel the need to do that, considering that the bears already talk and wear clothes around him and if he's okay with that, then I doubt he'd throw a fit over them having beds, a TV, and a refrigerator. But what do I know?

Was it really necessary for the bears to paint all of their stuff in Day-Glo colors? Don't
they realize just how tacky it looks?

But Hair isn't going to let Mr. Peevly's threats keep him, Bubi and Square from sneaking out of the zoo and having a good time. He's got a plan. No, that plan is not "maul Mr. Peevly like a real life bear would" because A) the bears are pacifists (Hair says in the theme song that they "don't even bite") and B) even if they weren't it's a kids' show, they'd never get away with THAT.

Methinks these bears raided the Chattanooga Cats' closet...

The next morning, Mr. Peevly tells all the other zoo animals that Movie Night at the zoo has been cancelled. The fiend!

"Duh, Mr. Peevly, I am not a crook!"

Hair, Bubi and Square enlist the help of a purple Wally Gator-voiced gorilla creatively named Bananas (Daws Butler) and a fox named Slick (Paul Winchell) with their plan. I know that none of the animals on this show are all that realistic, but most of them at least have "natural" fur colors (the bears are brown, for example). And yet Bananas is purple. Why?

Do you think he's related to the Great Grape Ape?

The plan, as it turns out, is to show Mr. Peevly an empty cage and claim that there's a ten-foot white rabbit (okay, the Alice in Wonderland references are definitely deliberate. I'm fully convinced) named Artie in it. Since Mr. Peevly can't see Artie and Hair, Bubi, Square, Slick, and Magilla... sorry, I mean Bananas... can, he worries that he's been working too hard. Then Hair shows him his reflection in the mirror, which is apparently a hand-held fun house mirror. Were those ever a thing? Then Square rings a bell in his ear, which convinces Mr. Peevly that he's hearing things.

"Well, I hate to say this, sir," Hair says, "But it sounds to me like you've come down with 'Zoolerium'!" It's a rare ailment that only affects zookeepers. He offers to call up some guy named Dr. Coopenquack for assistance. And because Mr. Peevly is apparently an idiot, it never once occurs to him that the zoo animals could just be messing with him.

Step 2 of the bears' plan is to paint Mr. Peevly's face green with red spots while he's sleeping while Hair dresses up as a doctor. Ah, so he's going to claim to be the "Dr. Coopenquack" that he mentioned earlier. But won't Mr. Peevly still recognize him?

I mean, there aren't a lot of other bears with afros running around...

Oh, and they also glue a beard onto Mr. Peevly's face. They wake him up and, believe it or not, he actually falls for Hair's disguise. Methinks that Mr. Peevly is a few jelly sandwiches short of a pic-a-nic basket.

Hair tells Mr. Peevly that the only cure for "Zoolerium" is to take a six-month vacation. So off Mr. Peevly heads for Sunny Shores Beach Resort, and all of the animals gloat over how they tricked a guy into thinking that he was incredibly sick because three bears in ugly clothing couldn't resist the urge to sneak out of the zoo. These animals aren't very nice folks, are they?

That elephant's voiced by Paul Winchell too, by the way.

The bears are having a blast relaxing all day and eating triple-decker pizzas, not having to worry about Mr. Peevly or stupid people saying "LOOKITDABEARS! LOOKITDABEARS! LOOKITDABEARS!". Little do the bears know that Mr. Peevly's replacement is arriving at the zoo that very second. And here's a screencap of him...

Methinks the bears are in trouble now.

"My name is GRUNCH! It rhymes with CRUNCH!" the new zookeeper (Paul Winchell) tells the zoo animals. "BY THE LOOKS OF DIS ZOO, YOU ANIMALS HAVE HAD IT PRETTY SOFT AROUND HERE!" He then adds that this month's "volunteers for the work detail" are Hair, Bubi and Square. Immediately the bears are put to work cleaning up the zoo.

Hair, of course, doesn't take his task of vacuuming the place seriously (and can you really blame him? I mean, who uses a vacuum OUTSIDE?) and, when Grunch catches him just sitting on a bench doing nothing, claims that he's "sucking the smog out of the air". In retaliation, Grunch uses the vacuum to stretch out Hair's nose and forces him to pick up litter with it. Suddenly Mr. Peevly ain't lookin' too bad now, is he Hair?

Behold, the rare swordfish-nosed bear.

For whatever reason, we never see the bears try to sneak out of the zoo again, which was their whole reason for wanting to get rid of Mr. Peevly in the first place. Maybe they didn't want to risk igniting Grunch's wrath?

By nighttime, the bears are exhausted from all of the work Grunch is making them do. "Gettin' rid of Peevly was a disasterous idea!" Bubi laments. But Hair has a plan to get Mr. Peevly back. The next day, he gathers all the animals in their cave and lets them in on his plan. "We're gonna make a darin' daylight escape in Bubi's cloudburst balloon bike!" he explains. What IS a "cloudburst balloon bike"? Well, it's a bicycle built for three with a propeller on the back of it and balloons tied to it, allowing it to fly. They'll paint a sheet to look like a cloud, then poke holes in it and stick it on the bottom of the bike. Then they'll fill up the "pouch" it forms when attached to the bottom of the bike with water and it'll look like it's raining. Grunch will never know!

Hey, where can I get a bike that can fly like Bubi's? No, really, where can I get one of
those? Did Bubi get it from the kid from E.T.?

The plan works... almost. When Square accidentally knocks a bucket onto Grunch's head, he starts to become suspicious, prompting him and Botch to check the bears' cave. Upon finding the cave empty, Grunch announces, "I KNEW those bears were involved!" They take off after the bears in a jeep as they float out of the zoo and head for Sunny Shores Beach Resort.

Meanwhile, at Sunny Shores, Mr. Peevly is having a great time and notices that he's looking much better. "Not a trace of Zoolerium! If I never see that zoo again, it'll be too soon!" he says. "No more aardvarks, no more platypuses... and best of all, no more listening to that conniving Hair Bear!"

As if on cue, the three bears show up, causing Mr. Peevly to believe that he's had a relapse.

"Hey, uh, funny story about that whole 'Zoolerium' thing..."

The bears ask Mr. Peevly to come back to the zoo. "Next to that tough Mr. Grunch, you're a big nothing!" Square says, apparently not realizing that it would be unwise to insult Mr. Peevly when they're trying to get him to come back to the zoo. Predictably, Mr. Peevly tells the bears to go away. Then Grunch and Botch show up, prompting the bears to make a run for it. Fortunately, they manage to get away with a little help from Square's invisible motorcycle.

But how are they going to get Mr. Peevly to come back? "He's as stubborn as a frog!" Square points out. I believe that the actual expression is "stubborn as a MULE", Square. Has anybody ever actually said that somebody is as "stubborn as a FROG"? Anyhow, Hair has another plan...

I think this picture summarizes the rest of the episode quite nicely...

We cut to Mr. Peevly at the Sunny Shores Hotel's restaurant, looking over the menu. "All this sea air has made me as hungry as a bear!" he says. "What am I saying?!" He calls over a waiter... who turns out to be Hair in waiter's garb. This time he actually sees through the disguise, but Hair tells him that he is not Hair Bear but rather a waiter named Pierre, and that's all it takes to convince Mr. Peevly because, as we've established, he's an idiot.

Again, not a lot of bears with afros running around...

Then Mr. Peevly looks over and sees Bubi and Square sitting at another table. Instead of putting two and two together and realizing that the bears are still hanging around the resort, Mr. Peevly is convinced that he's started to hallucinate. Which of course was Hair's plan.

Mr. Peevly heads back to his room. "BEARS! BEARS! EVERYWHERE, BEARS!" he exclaims as he walks over to his bed and lies down. Once he's asleep, the bears somehow open the door to his apartment - did they get their hands on a copy of his room key off-screen or something? - and dress him up in a bear costume. When he wakes up, he freaks out because he thinks he's hallucinating that HE'S a bear. He begs Hair, Bubi and Square for help, and Hair claims that he's suffering from a case of "Missyoudelerium", a side effect of "Zoodelerium". "Hair, you've gotta get me back to the zoo!" Mr. Peevly yells, just before Botch and Grunch show up again.

I could be wrong about this, but I'm pretty sure that driving a Jeep on the beach
is frowned upon...

The bears drag Mr. Peevly into the "amusement pier" in an attempt to get away from Botch and Grunch. They try to hide in a dance club, allowing us to see the four's hilarious dance moves.

Alas, it's not nearly as funny in a still image. If only I knew how to make a GIF...

They're spotted, and make a run for it again, eventually deciding to use a roller coaster track and some spare wheels to make a quick getaway. The result is this:

Honestly, I don't have a funny comment here. I think the screencap just speaks for
itself.

Hair uses gum to send Grunch and Botch flying off the track, but one thing leads to another and eventually Mr. Peevly goes flying off the track too...

"BEARS, BEARS IS EVERYWHERES!"

…and he lands at the top of a giant slide, which he promptly hurtles down and into a large sack that Grunch and Botch are holding. "We caught the ugly one, Mr. Grunch!" Botch says, prompting an offended Mr. Peevly to peek out of the sack. And apparently the bear mask fell off when he landed in the sack. He's so angry that he fires Grunch and demotes Botch to "Chief Paper-Picker-Upper".

"I don't even know why I keep you around, considering how your entire shtick as a
character is that you're a massive idiot!"

When Mr. Peevly arrives back at the zoo, the animals throw him a party to show their appreciation for him.

Did you know that rhinos have pretty lousy eyesight? That must be why the rhino
in-between Square Bear and the lion is wearing glasses...

Apparently, the bears revealed to Mr. Peevly that the "Zoolerium" thing was all just an elaborate scheme to get him to take a vacation for six months, because Hair asks if he's at all angry about it. Mr. Peevly replies that a Peevly always forgives... but the bears aren't getting off scott-free because a Peevly also never forgets. He shouts at the bears to get busy cleaning up the zoo. Karma's a jerk, ain't it, Hair Bear?

Soooooo, that was Help!... It's the Hair Bear Bunch.

WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

Well, it's your typical Hanna-Barbera funny animal show in the vein of Yogi Bear or Magilla Gorilla, so if you like those I think the show would be right up your alley. It's genuinely funny, with great voice acting and generally entertaining characters. One downside is that the titular bears are, to put it bluntly, jerks. The intention was clearly for them to be Lovable Rouges of sorts a la Yogi Bear, Top Cat, or Hokey Wolf, but they're not quite as likable. I mean, I don't recall Yogi Bear ever tricking Ranger Smith into believing that he had some sort of disease. Still, they get their comeuppance in the end, and I've seen far more unlikable main characters in cartoons.

Here's an interesting fact to cap off this review - apparently, Hanna-Barbera was planning to bring back the Hair Bear Bunch as a segment of 2 Stupid Dogs (like they'd done with Secret Squirrel). The plans would up being scrapped, though.