Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Sitting Ducks"

Sitting Ducks is yet another one of those shows that I remember hearing about, but never actually watched. It was based on a lithograph by Canadian poster artist Michael Bedard in 1977 depicting three white ducks with sunglasses sitting in beach chairs - or rather by the 1998 picture book Mr. Bedard wrote based on the lithograph. In the book, alligators hatch ducks in a "duck factory" and then load them up on trucks to a duck-populated city called Duck Town (methinks the gators aren't very good at thinking of names). One day, an egg rolls off the assembly line and lands on the factory floor, emerging from it a little duck who encounters one of the alligators. The alligator smuggles the duck out of the factory. Why are the alligators hatching ducks? So they can let the ducks fatten themselves up in the city and then eat them. Obviously. Of course, the alligator and the duck become friends, and then the duck goes to Duck Town and tells the other ducks about what's going on and that if they work out, they'll be able to fly south for the winter and escape the gators. So they do that and head to the Flapping Arms Seaside Resort.

Presumably, the showrunners thought that the "alligators fattening up ducks so they can eat them" part of the storyline was too dark, so they ditched the idea and just made the gators and ducks residents of two different towns: Swampwood and the aforementioned Ducktown. The main duck and alligator from the book are given the names of Bill (voiced by Ian James Corlett) and Aldo (Dave "Squatch" Ward), who have to put up with everyone else being all "OH, DUCKS AND ALLIGATORS CAN'T BE FRIENDS!". Think of it as The Fox and the Hound (note to self: review that movie at some point) with less melodrama.

Michael Bedard served as an executive producer, with Terry Shakespeare, David Molina, and (in Season 2) Gary Selvaggio the creative directors. The show premiered on Cartoon Network in September 2001 and received two seasons, each one consisting of thirteen episodes. Is the show any good? Let's find out, shall we? We'll be watching the third episode, which consists of the segments "Peeking Duck" and "Fred's Meltdown".

We start off with Bill and Aldo at the beach. Aldo's stomach is growling and he's getting tired of eating duck food like a plankton burger with a side of flies (yes, ducks actually do eat flies. Don't know if they eat plankton, however). He's really, really tempted to eat a duck. It must be really hard to be a cartoon character whose best friend is their species' favorite meal. Maybe Aldo and Freddy the Ferret from Barnyard should start a support group.

Please forgive the lousy quality of the screencaps.

Are ducks really the only things that the alligators of Swampwood eat? Real alligators eat a lot of different things - fish, mollusks, birds, small mammals, turtles, snakes, frogs, crayfish... young alligators even eat insects, just like the ducks in Ducktown, because they're small and easy to catch. Can't the gators just find some frogs to munch on and leave the ducks alone?

That night, Bill shows off his new telescope to his pals Ed (Louis Chirillo), Oly (Phil Hayes), and Waddle (Jay Brazeau). Alas, they want to use the telescope to spy on hot girl ducks in other apartments. That's not exactly PC, guys...

The other three nephews that Donald doesn't like to talk about - Sleazy, Cheesy and Queasy.

Bill, disgusted by the other three ducks' privacy-violating ways, kicks Ed, Oly and Waddle out of his apartment. He laments to his pet parrot, Jerry, that some ducks can be so rude. It really ruffles his feathers.

I find it kind of strange that Bill has a pet parrot. I mean, I know ducks and parrots aren't that closely related (at least I don't THINK they are), but it raises some confusing questions. In addition to ducks, the show also has anthropomorphic penguins and crows. How come some birds are anthropomorphic but others aren't?

Are parrots just to ducks, crows and penguins what humans are to chimpanzees? And if so,
why parrots specifically?

Bill tries to find Jupiter with his telescope, but while looking for it he spots Aldo in the window of his neighbors Claire and Cecil's apartment. Peculiar. The next morning, he goes over to their place and discovers that they're not home. VERY peculiar. And then he finds Aldo, spying on some sunbathing ducks and drooling. No, Aldo is not a peeping tom, get your minds out of the gutter.

Bill talks to Ed, Oly, and Waddle about Claire and Cecil's not being around while they're searching his refrigerator for relish to go with their chicken pot pie. Wait, ducks eat chicken pot pie? Isn't that cannibalism? Again, I know ducks and chickens aren't that closely related, but it's still a bird eating another bird. There's a reason why humans don't eat chimpanzees!

"Hey, Bill, you wanna join us for dinner tonight? We're going to KFC."

Ed and Oly tell Bill that Aldo must have eaten Claire and Cecil. "He's a gator! That's what they do!" Oly claims. Honestly, they don't have much room to judge Aldo for eating birds when they apparently have no problem chowing down on chicken pot pie. Bill, of course, isn't convinced, and then guess who barges through the door?

"Were you guys just talking about me? My ears would be burning if I had them!"

Ed, Oly and Waddle nervously dash out of the apartment. Bill asks Aldo if he knows where Cecil and Claire are, and he acts very suspicious. Gee, I wonder if Aldo really did eat them or if this is just a clever way of the writers to trick the audience into thinking he did when in fact he didn't.

Bill uses the telescope to see into Cecil and Claire's apartment that night, and wouldn't you know it, Aldo is in there again. And he's got an AXE!

"You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your
brains in."

Then Bill hears Aldo knocking on the door... wow, he got to Bill's apartment building from Cecil and Claire's really quickly. Does he have teleportation powers? Anyway, he asks Bill if he can borrow some salt, but Bill says no because he, uh, has a cold. "Ah, Jerry, how could I be thinking what I'm thinking? Aldo's my best friend," he tells his parrot. "On the other wing, where are Cecil and Claire? And, what was he CHOPPING? And why did he need SALT?"

So Bill enlists the help of Ed, Oly and Waddle to lower him down on a fishing line so he can see into Claire and Cecil's kitchen. This turns out to be difficult because Ed, Oly and Waddle start channeling the Three Stooges, and before Bill can get a good look he winds up falling into a trash can. Fortunately, Ed has a plan that can't fail - they'll sneak into the apartment through the air ducks... I mean, air DUCTS.

Are air ducts in real life really big enough for somebody to crawl around in? If not, where did this
cliche come from?

At one point, they find an apartment where a duck is painting a chicken... a chicken who, while plucked, looks at least somewhat anthropomorphic, which just raises further questions about the Three Idiots' wanting to eat chicken pot pie before. They also find apartments where a party and a yoga class are going on before they hear Aldo's voice laughing and saying "This is the best thing I've ever tasted!" But the vent it's coming from is closed, so they can't see into the apartment and find out just WHAT, exactly, Aldo is tasting. They manage to push the vent open and fall into the apartment, where they find Aldo... and also a very much alive Claire and Cecil.

What a twist!

You see, Cecil and Claire were out of town, and they asked Aldo to house-sit for them and watch their pet lizard. They asked Aldo not to tell Bill about it because they didn't want Bill's feelings to be hurt that they didn't ask him. Why did Aldo have the axe? He was making the lizard some cheese balls.

Oh, and apparently Waddle is a massive hypocrite because, after being all judgy of Aldo seemingly eating two sentient beings, he has no problem trying to chow down on the lizard.

Spit it out, Waddle! It can save you fifteen-percent or more on car insurance!

And that's about it. Next segment...

Ducktown has been caught in a heat wave. The sidewalks are hot enough to fry an egg on, which makes the ducks realize that walking around barefoot all the time might not be such a good idea. The ice cream shops are out of "Chocolate Tadpole Crunch", so Ed, Oly and Waddle decide to go see if Bill has some.

Speaking of Bill, when he goes outside to pick up his newspaper, he sees one of his few non-duck neighbors, Fred the penguin (also Phil Hayes), sliding around the hallway with blocks of ice tied to his feet. Curious, he goes over to the door to his neighbor's apartment and peers through the keyhole to see what's going on in there.

"Sorry, I can't talk right now. We're filming a Kid Cuisine ad in here."

When Fred answers the door, he grabs Bill and pulls him into his apartment. Inside, everything is made out of, or covered in, ice and snow. It's a great place to chill out. Get it? Chill out? Ha, I amuse myself...

Meanwhile, who should be waddling up to Bill's apartment but Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest. They're confused when they find the apartment empty, then they hear the sound of the air conditioner from Fred's apartment. "I think he's got air conditioning. The penguin's got air conditioning!" Ed exclaims. "No fair! How come he gets air conditioning when all WE get is Bill's lousy fan?!" asks Oly.

His electricity bills are through the roof, but that's the price you pay (literally) for comfort.

I expected Ed, Oly and Waddle to be responsible for this episode's conflict somehow since they're, as established, incompetent morons, but instead, it's Fred's adjusting his many air conditioners. Because of that, all the power in Ducktown goes out. No power means no air conditioning or fans to help the ducks beat the heat, which means that Ducktown is gonna have a lot of cooked ducks on its hands... er, wings...

The other ducks blame Fred for this. "Let him go back to the South Pole!" one of them shouts. Ouch, bird racism. The fact that it's white ducks treating a mostly black penguin like this just makes it more uncomfortable. Haven't these ducks ever read The Sneetches? Fortunately, before the ducks can form a lynch mob and, I dunno, try to catapult Fred back to Antarctica or something, Ed suggests that they all head to the pond. Oh, and by the way, it turns out that Jerry the parrot can talk. So apparently he's just PRETENDING to be non-anthropomorphic for Bill? I wonder why that is...

"Quack it up now, you stupid little ducks... one day, the parrots will rise up and take over,
and it will be YOU we will keep in cages and force to eat crackers! I hope you like Triscuits,
you pitiful waterfowl! Bwah-ha-ha-ha-HAAAAAAAAA!"

Fred's got a big problem - all the ice and snow in his apartment is melting. If he can't find more, he'll die. He begs Bill for help, so Bill takes him to the local ice-selling shop. Alas, they're out of ice. So then Bill takes Fred to the pond, but the other ducks are still racist against penguins and tell him to buzz off. When Fred faints, Ed claims that he deserves it for "hogging all of the air conditioning". Is it bad that I'm actually kind of hoping for the alligators to eat these racist ducks?

Then Bill gets an idea - he'll take Fred to Swampwood, where they still have power, and grocery stores with freezers full of ice cream! The downside is... well, gators want to eat him.

"I'm not a duck! I'm uh, uh, a GOOSE! Yeah, that's it! A goose!"

"Eh, same thing!"

The gators back Bill into a corner, but Fred saves the day by threatening to knock over a display of Gator Gulp soft drink (which is a really big deal to the gators, perhaps because if he knocks it over it will spill on the floor and they'll have to clean it up. Very inconvenient). Before they leave the store, Fred notices that among the ice cream flavors it has is "Chocolate Tadpole Crunch". Hmmm...

We then see all of the ducks at the pond enjoying some "Chocolate Tadpole Crunch". Since Bill and Fred brought it to them, everybody likes Fred now. Huzzah.

What's the Verdict?

Sitting Ducks is alright. The animation is kind of primitive, maybe it was more impressive in 2001 but nowadays, it looks more like cutscenes from a video game than a cartoon show. As far as the characters go, the ducks (other than Bill) can get annoying, but I did like Bill, Aldo, and Fred. Most of the jokes were pretty funny. Good soundtrack, too - the use of horns that sound reminiscent of a duck's quacking was a nice touch. Although I dunno if I'd call this a FANTASTIC show, it certainly wasn't bad. Will I be watching any more episodes? Probably not. But when it comes to cartoons starring ducks, I'd gladly take this over something like Quack Pack.

If you want to watch the show for yourself, there were some VHS releases in 2004, as well as a "Season 1" DVD... that actually featured all of Season 2's episodes and only one of Season 1's episodes for some reason. Fortunately, almost every episode can be found via the Internet Archive.

I'm sure you're probably all getting tired of me reviewing cartoons that I find just okay, but I have no idea HOW I'll feel about a cartoon before I start the review. Maybe that's the main reason why so many of these shows fell into obscurity - if it's not really good (like Hey Arnold, for example) or really bad (like Fanboy and Chum-Chum), there isn't a whole lot to talk about. I dunno, maybe the show just had a lousy time slot and THAT'S why it wasn't a bigger hit. I don't think I watched much Cartoon Network in 2001, so I wouldn't know...