Even if you've never been to a Disney theme park, there's a very good chance that you've heard of the Haunted Mansion.
This is one of Disney's most popular attractions. They probably weren't the first to do a haunted house at a theme park, but they're definitely the ones who perfected it. I could write an entire post about the history of this ride, but this blog is about animation, not theme parks (although the two subjects overlap a lot), so instead, watch this video.
The Haunted Mansion differs from other haunted house attractions at theme parks in that it's filled to the brim with unique characters and lore. So it's no surprise that over the years there's been several attempts at adapting the attraction. There have been books...
There have been video games...
And of course, there have been movies. Three of 'em, in fact. The first, starring Eddie Murphy, recieved a negative reception from critics and fans of the attraction alike. Same goes for the one released twenty years later, which languished in development limbo (at one point it was going to be directed by Guillermo Del Toro) and was a box office bomb on top of that. In between these films, there was the direct-to-streaming Muppets Haunted Mansion film, which I personally enjoyed. For more information about the multiple Haunted Mansion adaptations, I'm going to recommend another video.
We're probably going to get more Haunted Mansion adaptations at some point, and y'know what? I think it's high-time for an animated adaptation - be it a show or a movie, or even a series of shorts - of the attraction. I know there has been at least one attempt at doing one: Shannon Tindle's pitch for a series, but it was rejected. And, honestly, why ARE all the adaptations of Disney attractions live action anyway? Wouldn't something like a movie starring the characters from the Country Bear Jamboree work better in animation than live action?
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| Case in point... |
So, if they WERE to do an animated adaptation of the Haunted Mansion, they'd need to have a great cast. After all, the attraction has a lot of iconic voice actors lending their voices to it - Paul Frees, Thurl Ravenscroft, Eleanor Audley, Dallas McKennon, even the woman who sang the Star Trek theme song is in it! So, how would I cast as the voices of the nine hundred and ninety-nine happy haunts who live in the mansion? Well, I'll tell you...
The only rule for this cast is, just to make it a little harder on myself, I'm gonna try to avoid using anyone who's actually voiced any of these characters before - so, I can't use Corey Burton as the Ghost Host or Susan Blakeslee as Madame Leota since they already voiced the characters in Disneyland's Haunted Mansion Holiday overlay. Though if I actually WERE the voice director of a Haunted Mansion project, I would indeed just get them back.
Fred Tatasciore as the Ghost Host
How on Earth do you replace Paul Frees as the Ghost Host? Aside from "get Corey Burton", of course. Well, let me tell you a little about Fred Tatasciore. He's a very versatile voice actor, and as somebody who was lucky enough to meet him in 2022, I should mention that he's also an extremely nice guy. He's no stranger to doing voice work for Disney theme park characters - he's the Yeti in Expedition Everest at Animal Kingdom, he recently provided the voice of Buff in the new Country Bear Jamboree at the Magic Kingdom, he can also be heard in Star Tours, the Guardians of the Galaxy ride at Disney's California Adventure, and the Big Grizzly Mountain Runaway Mine Cars in Hong Kong Disneyland. At various conventions, he's demonstrated that he can do a great impression of Paul Frees' Ghost Host, so if I have to choose somebody new to do the voice, I think Fred would be the best choice.
Tasia Valenza as Madame Leota
Madame Leota was hard to figure out. You need to find a voice actress who can pull off a dignified, menacing, almost seductive voice - one that's not too young-sounding but not too old-sounding either. In other words, a voice just like Eleanor "Maleficent" Audrey gave Leota. I cycled through a bunch of different voice actresses and characters with voices like that in my head, eventually deciding to take a listen to the various voices that Batman's foe Poison Ivy has had over the years. I heard a clip of Tasia Valenza's take on the character and found just what I was looking for.
Cree Summer as Constance Hatchaway
This is mostly just me trying to find somebody who sounds close to Kat Cressida's voice for Constance. Listening to it, I think Cree Summer could pull the character off nicely. Her voices for Princess Kitana and Madame Web are good comparisons, I feel - she could definitely hit that right balance of sweet and sinister.
Daran Norris as the Hatbox Ghost
Now we're at the characters in the attraction who don't talk. The Hatbox Ghost, best known for being removed from the Disneyland version in its early days because the whole "disappearing head" effect didn't work right only to return in 2015, doesn't say a word - he chuckles, but that's about it. Apparently, Corey Burton did his voice for some sort of internet campaign, using the same voice he used for the Ghost Host in the aforementioned Haunted Mansion Holiday, but I can't find any clips of that online so I'm gonna have to go in a different direction (plus, I'd rather not have him sound just like the Ghost Host if the Ghost Host is already there). Let's look at this guy's character design: he's got sunken-in eyes, a toothy grin, he's got a top hat and a cloak... he's pretty creepy, and I think a reedy voice, something both sinister-sounding AND comedic, would fit him quite nicely. Steve Buscemi kept popping into my mind, but he seemed a bit too obvious. After racking my brain, I decided to go for an impression of either Peter Lorre or Paul Lynde, both known for their distinct voices. Fortunately, Daran Norris can do both, and demonstrated his ability to do both in TUFF Puppy - he did a Peter Lorre impression for the Chameleon and a Paul Lynde impression for the Meerkat. Thus...
And now, the three most popular residents of the mansion! Stars of fanfic all over the internet, their likeness plastered on merchandise... it's the Hitchhiking Ghosts! Once again, since these guys usually don't talk, we're going to have to look at their character designs and find voices that match.
Maurice LaMarche as Ezra
Ezra is lanky, basically a skeleton, and has sunken-in eyes and a toothy grin like the Hatbox Ghost (you think they're related?). Maurice LaMarche is usually known for deeper voices like the Brain and most of his characters in Futurama (Morbo, Lrrr, Calculon), but he can do higher-pitched roles too. One of my favorite roles of his is Mortimer Mouse, Mickey's obnoxious rival, a character that he's been voicing since Mickey Mouse Works in 1999. It's not a super-high voice, but it's not a super-deep one either, it's more or less in the middle. Ezra is mostly depicted in fanwork as a wisecracking smart-mouth (a la Yakko Warner), and I think Mortimer's slimy, sneaky-sounding voice would fit that personality well
Kevin Chamberlain or Kevin Michael Richardson as Phineas
Okay, so Phineas is pretty chubby. I didn't want a stereotypical "dumb guy" voice (think Patrick Star or Beaky Buzzard), but I still wanted a voice that had some "weight" to it, if that makes any sense. So I have two ideas for this guy.
Yes, Kevin Chamberlain is a celebrity. No, he hasn't done much voice acting. But I think he SHOULD do more voice acting, he's actually an actor as opposed to a musician or some random schmuck on YouTube, and he's a GOOD actor (it's generally agreed that his performance as Horton was the best thing about the original Broadway production of Seussical) so I'd say he's far more qualified to do voice acting than, say, Rihanna or Marshmello, and from what I've heard he's a very nice guy. Plus, he has experience doing characters who thrive in a macabre setting - he was Uncle Fester in the Addams Family show on Broadway - AND he's worked for Disney before (he played Bertram in Jessie), and I think his voice would fit Phineas well, so why not?
As for Kevin Michael Richardson, like with Maurice LaMarche he's usually typecast as deeper-voiced characters, but he can do characters with high-pitched voices too. Y'know how in the first few episodes of The Flintstones, Barney had a higher-pitched Jersey-accented voice? That's the voice Kevin does whenever he voices Barney. Call me crazy, but I think that voice would work for Phineas as well. It's high-pitched, but still has a little "weight" to it.
Frank Welker as Gus
Gus is the only Hitchhiking Ghost who speaks in the attraction - before he's seen hitchhiking, he appears singing alongside an executioner ghost and a headless knight. His voice was provided by Candy Candido, an actor who lent his growly voice to several movie characters such as the Indian Chief in Peter Pan, that crocodile under Prince John's employment in Robin Hood, and the apple tree who Dorothy and the Scarecrow tick off in The Wizard of Oz. Who could forget that voice?
So, we need a voice that sounds like Candy Candido's, the joke being that you wouldn't expect such a voice to come out of the teeny-tiny Gus. How about Frank Welker, using the same voice he used for Dr. Claw in Inspector Gadget?
Jeff Bennett or Kevin McDonald as the Caretaker
Let's be honest, if the Caretaker (I believe his official name is Silias Crump) could talk, he'd totally sound like Don Knotts (in fact, the Disney Wiki claims that Don Knotts played him for his brief appearance in the 2003 movie, I dunno if there's any truth to that). So we need a Don Knotts soundalike, and I know two actors who'd be a good choice for that. The first is Jeff Bennett, who served as a voice-match for Don Knotts' character, Turkey Lurkey, in the Chicken Little video game. The second is Kevin McDonald, technically a celebrity but one with lots of voice acting experience (ESPECIALLY for Disney - he's Pleakley, after all)... and when I watched Cats Don't Dance, I noticed that Don Knotts' voice sounds very similar to Kevin's. Of the two, I think I'm leaning more towards Jeff, as I fear Kevin's voice might sound a bit too young-sounding for the Caretaker.
Frank Welker as the Caretaker's Dog
We've already got the master of animal noises in the cast as Gus, so I see no reason why Frank couldn't voice the Caretaker's Dog too.
Sam Ramey, Randy Crenshaw, Jess Harnell, Rob Paulsen, and Jeff Bennett as the Singing Busts
For all of the 2003 movie's flaws, you've gotta admit that casting the Dapper Dans from Disneyland as the Singing Busts was a nice touch. One of the busts, as you know, was voiced by Disney legend Thurl Ravenscroft. Sam Ramey isn't exactly a voice actor, he's a singer, but he DID voice a character in Over the Garden Wall who sounds an awful lot like Thurl Ravenscroft when he sings. Randy Crenshaw, as well, is more of a singer than a voice actor, but he has lots of animation experience, including for Disney, and can be heard singing in films like Thumbelina, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and The Thief and the Cobbler. Plus, they're SINGING busts, so I think I can get away with casting professional singers as two of them. As for the other three, I chose Jess Harnell, Rob Paulsen, and Jeff Bennett because all three of them are great singers. Simple as that.
Now, if my math is correct there are nine hundred and eighty-seven more ghosts living at the Haunted Mansion (nine hundred and ninety-nine in all... but there's room for a thousand), but I'm not going to assign a voice to every single ghost because that would be very hard, and there's no way Disney would pay that many voice actors for one prodution. Fortunately, Fred Tatasciore, Tasia Valenza, Cree Summer, Daran Norris, Maurice LaMarche, Frank Welker, Kevin Michael Richardson, Jeff Bennett, Rob Paulsen, and Jess Harnell are all really versatile, so they could all do double-duty and voice more than one character. If there's money in the budget for a few more, I'd also have Corey Burton, Tress MacNeille, Lauri Fraser, Jeff Bergman, and Scott Innes provide additional voices. Not a bad cast, huh?
Once again, if you have any suggestions of your own for these characters, feel free to post 'em in the comments section below.
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