Let's Watch This: "Zambezia" (2012)

What if I told you that there was a movie that featured Koda from Brother Bear, the Dude, Mr. Spock, Frozone, Flo from Cars, Winnie the Pooh, Ludwig Von Drake and Babs Bunny - among others - in its cast? Well, such a movie exists. And it's called Zambezia.

Zambezia was made by Triggerfish Animation Studios, who was also responsible for another movie that I plan on reviewing at some point, Khumba. At first glance, you might assume that it's just yet another Rio mockbuster. But it actually has very few similarities aside from the fact that its main character is a blue bird. Is it as good as Rio? No. But is it still a good movie? Let's find out!

The movie begins not by introducing the characters and setting up the storyline but rather by plunging us right into the action without warning. We see a stork with another bird and some eggs on her back being pursued by marabou storks. The stork promises the other bird that she'll get them to Zambezia, and then...

We suddenly cut to this, accompanied by soothing African music.

Talk about Mood Whiplash...

We see a blue falcon named Kai (voiced by Jeremy Suarez) flying around a herd of giraffes. He winds up flying into one's rear end (which is a pretty cringe-worthy joke). His dad (Samuel L. Jackson) comments that his landing wasn't very good, to which Kai says, "You can't just shout things at me while I'm in the zone!" His dad says, "Is that the TWILIGHT Zone?"

Don't ask me how a bird in Africa knows about The Twilight Zone.

So, apparently the dad falcon is training Kai to be a great flyer or whatever. However, Kai is kind of a show-off and doesn't take the training too seriously.

Samuel L. Jackson Bird is not having any of your bullcrap.

The dad falcon tells Kai that someday, he's gonna have to look after himself because no one else will be there... oh, great, they're gonna pull a Delhi Safari and bump off the dad, aren't they? Kai complains that he's never set talon outside the boundary. The dad falcon says that there's no reason to, they've already got everything that they need to survive.

After the dad falcon flies off, the stork from before (voiced by Jennifer Lewis) makes a clumsy landing in the falcons' nest. She and the other bird (voiced by Tania Gunadi) explain that they are on a mission to save the babies from thieving bandits like those marabou storks. They're going to Zambezia. "There's no safer place in all of Africa!" the other bird exclaims. I initially thought the eggs that they had were the other bird's, but actually they're ducklings.

Kai tells them that they can spend the night, and then we cut to the dad falcon talking to a feather that I guess is from his mate. He's telling the feather that his son wants to head out there and see other birds. He's a free spirit, just like his mate. He flies off, and then we cut to the stork singing for some reason. She refers to the ducklings as "future Hurricanes" - the "Hurricanes" apparently control the skies, keeping Zambezia safe. Kai thinks that being a Hurricane would be awesome. "Can anybody go to Zambezia?" he asks the stork. The Jennifer Lewis stork says yes, yes they can. All birds are welcome there, except for those scoundrels the marabou storks... who just so happen to show up.

"Hi, we're the marabou storks! We're kind of like the Hyenas from The Lion
King, except not as cool."

One of the marabous speaks with a British accent, and the other acts... well, a wild animal. The British marabou (voiced by Richard E. Grant) is all, "We want what's in the basket!" and the Jennifer Lewis stork is all "Oh HECK no!" She and Kai fight the marabous, and then the dad falcon shows up. Long story short, the British marabou stork's brother winds up falling out of the nest, and despite the father falcon trying to save him winds up landing in the river. The British marabou is horrified and blames the father falcon, exclaiming "You raptors are all the same! Just HUNGRY! We ALL are! As if we marabous don't suffer enough!" Ah, so we're going for a "sympathetic antagonist" sort of thing for the marabous, eh? I wasn't expecting that. Major props.

The British marabou flies off yelling about how the father falcon will "pay for this", and it turns out that the Jennifer Lewis stork knows the father falcon. The father falcon dubs her and the other bird (remember her?) "strangers", and they get offended and leave.

We haven't had a screencap of Kai yet, so here's one now.

Kai asks his dad if he knew about this Zambezia place. "All these years and you've never told me?" he demands. The father falcon claims that he has his reasons... mainly, doing what's best for Kai. Kai is all, "That's bullcrap! I've got no life here! We should ditch this place and go to Zambezia!" Father falcon snaps, "Let me tell you how it works in Zambezia! The strong, like us, protect the weak! And who suffers in the end? WE DO! Trust me, you don't know what you're talking about..." Kai replies, "Yeah, well, I'll tell you what I DO know! That there's more to life than YOU, and your FENCES and your BOUNDARY! There's a whole world outside of here, too!"

The dad falcon says that he'll never go back to Zambezia. Kai is all, "Well, you can go suck an egg because I'm going there!" and flies off. He winds up hitching a flight with some Indian-accented storks. That night, the dad falcon decides to go after him. Meanwhile, the British marabou stork is still bummed out what happened to his brother. His fourth-cousin once-removed tries to cheer him up, and then the film's villain arrives.

He's a big monitor lizard named Budzo, voiced by Jim Cummings. The father falcon just so happens to be flying by, and upon spotting Budzo decides to do a little eavesdropping. Budzo is pulling a Scar and using the marabous' hunger to his advantage. He's all, "How is it fair that you guys are scavengers while the birds in Zambezia eat like kings?!"

"Stick with me, and you'll never go hungry again!"

"Think of all you have been denied for so long..." the big lizard snarls. "Good food, good nest. It's time for you to take the empire for yourself... to rule Zambezia!" Have I ever mentioned how awesome Jim Cummings is?

The British stork - his name is Cecil, by the way - likes the sound of Budzo's offer, but his fourth-cousin is more apprehensive. "I'll just take my cut a small share of the spoils..." Budzo says. "After all, how many eggs can a lizard eat? Get all the Marabous together. You tell them they'll be working nights."

Then Budzo attacks the dad falcon, though I don't know how he found out he was there. It turns out that the dad falcon's name is Tendai, and the scene cuts to black just as the lizard has him cornered...

And then we cut to Kai with the storks. I guess we're gonna have to wait and see what happened with Tendai and Budzo.

"I believe I can fly..."

They arrive in Zambezia, which as it turns out isn't so much a city as it is a big tree with a bunch of birds' nests in it. The Jennifer Lewis stork just so happens to be arriving at the same time, and her landings haven't gotten any better.

There's also a parrot that sounds like Hermes from Futurama.

After Kai makes his way around Zambezia encountering other birds, we cut to another Zambezia resident - an African fish-eagle named Chief Sekhuru (this movie's really going to town on the African bird species, isn't it? Where else have you seen an African fish eagle in an animated movie?) and his daughter Zoe (voiced by Leonard Nimoy and Abigail Breslin respectively). They're informed that a newcomer has arrived, which intrigues Sekhuru as it's been a while since they've had a falcon in Zambezia. Zoe says that he's probably here for the Hurricane tryouts tomorrow... not that she wants to be a Hurricane, of course. Then the Jennifer Lewis stork comes in and is all, "I bet you'll never guess who I just saw!" "Is it Tendai?" Sekhuru asks. How does he know? Because his son just arrived. How does he know that the new falcon is Tendai's son? I have no idea. "Young Kai may be here looking for some answers..." says Sekhuru. I think I'm going to like this Sekhuru guy. He's got sort of a Master Oogway-ish vibe to him.

Oh, and spoiler alert: Zoe is for all intents and purposes Kai's love interest.

Kai, meanwhile, finds himself sharing a nest with several other birds. I'm pretty sure one of them is voiced by Tom Kenny.

"I'm surrounded by idiots..."

The next morning, Kai is woken up by a bird named Ezee (Jamal Mixon), who tells him that he's taking him on a tour of Zambezia. "Time to meet the town... the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZEE WAY!" he announces. After a montage, Kai meets Zoe, who upon learning that Kai has befriended Ezee snaps, "Just what we need. Another Ezee!" Kai finds himself the object of affection of two stereotypical valley girl birds, but he's not interested - he has the hots for Zoe. Then he finally sees these Hurricanes that we've heard so much about.

There are so many screencaps in this film that could totally be memes...

Ah yes, and Ezee tells Kai that in Zambezia, they don't say "amazing", they say "Ah-mah-ZING!"

Uh, okay...

Now let's cut back to the Marabous. Cecil is giving a speech to his fellow storks: "When those Zambezians flocked together, they created an INSIDE and an OUTSIDE! And if you haven't noticed, WE are on the OUTSIDE! The cold, lonely, desolate OUTSIDE! And why?! Because they didn't like the look of us!" I gotta admit, he's got a point. However, the Marabous aren't fully convinced that they should team up with Budzo. "Since when are Marabous servants to a lizard?" one of them asks. Cecil says that they'll be working WITH Budzo, not FOR him. Another Marabou asks, "Could those Hurricanes be a problem?" I have a question too: why are all the Marabous British?

The Marabous start beating each other up, and then we cut back to Kai and Ezee. Kai finds out that Hurricane Tryouts are today. The leader of the Hurricanes, a big lammergeier (look it up) voiced by Jeff Goldblum, tells him that he's not on his list and that there can be no new entrees after the tryouts begin... but then realizes that he's actually right on time and tells him that he can try out.

How does a bird grow a mustache?

Actually, IS that a mustache? It looks like it could just be overly-long nose hair,
what with it sticking out of his nostril and all...

Kai has difficulty during the tryout (by the way, did I mention that like in Delhi Safari there are a lot of slow-motion shots in this movie?) but winds up making the cut... as a trainee. "It's gonna take more than a little race to become a full member of the most elite flying force in the world!" the Jeff Goldblum bird barks. "I got my eye on you, hot-rod..."

Meanwhile, we FINALLY cut back to Tendai. He's still alive, but he's in a cage. He tells Budzo that he's not a threat to him, but Budzo disagrees: "There is still some fight left in you. I can see it, even if you can not. Which is good. You need it," the lizard says. "You are going to be a great use..."

"Now, this is where the pigs have hidden all of our eggs. We're going to launch
ourselves out of a giant slingshot at them until they agree to give the eggs back."

"Why are we launching ourselves out of a giant slingshot?"

"Because shut up, THAT'S why!"

Back with Kai, he and the Hurricanes head out patroling for Marabou. They come across a lovebird (Tress MacNeille), who tells them that her mate Neville has floated down the river. Rescue mission time! Kai saves Neville (Corey Burton), impressing the Hurricanes. Ezee then shows up and acts incredibly annoying.

"I'm the film's comic relief character! Ergo I'm going to be either the best part of the
film or incredibly annoying! And guess which one I am!"

Then it's time for Zambezia's Annual Spring Celebration, where the birds celebrate future generations of Zambezia. Alas, the Marabous attack, kidnapping some birds and bringing them to Budzo so he can threaten to eat Tendai unless the captured birds let him onto the island. How much are you willing to bet that after they do he's going to eat Tendai anyway?

Sekhuru tells the other Zambezians that he never thought the Marabous were capable of such devious acts. "Maybe there's a bigger plan here..." he suggests.

Hey, ANOTHER screencap that could be a potential meme!

The Jeff Goldblum bird gives Kai the job of clean-up duty before he and the Hurricanes head out to save the kidnapped birds. Kai meets up with Ezee, who's ticked-off because earlier Kai didn't stick up for him when he was getting pushed around by the Jeff Goldblum bird, but all Kai has to do is give him free food and all is forgiven.

"No, I do NOT look like Owl from Winnie the Pooh during his awkward teen
years!"

Then Kai comes up with a plan - to sneak out at night (Ezee has night vision) to save the kidnapped birds. While they're flying off, they run into Zoe, who tries very hard to deny that she wants to be a Hurricane. Eventually, they're able to find the Marabous and do a little eavesdropping of their own.

Cecil's fourth-cousin asks him if they can trust Budzo. Cecil replies, "I've come too far to turn back now!" Zoe suggests that they call the Hurricanes, but Kai wants to go in there and defeat those evil Marabous himself. Ezee then gets attacked by something and faints. Zoe decides to fly off and get help, leaving Kai to wait with Ezee.

Then we cut back to Tendai in the cage, watching the kidnapped birds being forced to build some sort of grass structure.

They're pretty good at building for an animal that doesn't have fingers...

Tendai tells the Tania Gunadi bird to fly out as soon as she gets the chance, leaving him there. Tania Gunadi bird says, "That's not how we do things where I come from - where YOU come from! We'll figure out a way to escape. All of us!"

Budzo comes in and tells Cecil and his fourth-cousin that he has a "special job" for them. Then Tania Gunadi tells Tendai that Kai and the rest of the Hurricanes are out looking for them. In response, Tendai asks, "My son... a Hurricane?"

We then get a Gilligan Cut to the Jeff Goldblum bird telling Kai that he will never be a Hurricane. "Since you clearly have no concept of what a team is, you can not be part of ours!" he says. He's so angry that he's not even going to listen to what Kai has to say.

Somebody get this bird an electric nose hair trimmer.

Cecil and his fourth-cousin invade, but Kai either doesn't realize it or doesn't care because he's too busy checking up on Ezee and getting into an argument with Zoe to do anything about it. He's so down about what happened, in fact, that he's planning on leaving Zambezia. The Jennifer Lewis stork tells him that he can't go, Zambezia needs him, but Kai just says, "Zambezia and me don't mix. My dad was right, I never belonged here." This doesn't matter to the Jennifer Lewis stork, who simply grabs Kai and flies off.

Meanwhile, the Hurricanes are chasing after the Marabous... but that's just what the Marabous WANT them to do! They're luring them into a trap!

"Not bad for a couple of dopey villains' henchmen, huh?"

The Jennifer Lewis stork brings Kai to Sekhuru and begs him to just tell Kai "the story". With a sigh, Sekhuru admits, "Perhaps it is time." Time for Kai to learn the truth, that is. As it turns out, Kai was born in Zambezia - not only that, but his parents founded the Hurricanes to guard Zambezia and offer protection to all the birds in the River Valley (except Marabous, apparently).

Then we immediately cut back to Tendai and Budzo. As it turns out, Budzo ate Tendai's wife (well, he doesn't straight-up say that he ate her, but I think that's supposed to be the implication). He tells the kidnapped birds to keep it up, for "we are going to make this valley into one big egg omelet!" That's kind of a cheesy line, but Jim Cummings' delivery makes it much cooler than it has any right to be.

Cut back to Kai and Sekhuru. Sekhuru explains that they came upon a nest under attack by the big lizard, and despite how bravely Kai's mother fought she wound up a lizard's lunch. They managed to save one egg that day... specifically, Zoe. Tendai was so depressed that he made Sekhuru promise to never tell anyone that he was once a Hurricane. "Tendai could no longer see the value in Zambezia," Sekhuru admits, "Only the cost..."

I honestly don't have a funny caption here, but I didn't want to go three paragraphs
without a screencap.

Then Kai figures out that Budzo and the Marabous are in cahoots - they have to go back to that forest and find them! So off Kai, Zoe and the Jennifer Lewis stork go. They come across some lizard tracks and follow them to where Budzo is holding the birds captive. The Tania Gunadi bird tells him that Budzo forced them to make a bridge that'll let him into Zambezia - and that he and the Marabous already left. Kai is then reunited with his dad and frees him while the Jennifer Lewis stork goes to town on a pair of Marabou.

By the time Kai, Tendai, and the other birds arrive, the bridge is up already. I'm amazed that it can support Budzo's weight. Cecil realizes that Zambezia is crawling with iguanas - and this is what makes him figure out that Budzo was using them. "You Marabous are just as naïve as Zambezians!" Budzo boasts.

Hey, uh, if anyone from Triggerfish Animation is reading this? Just a suggestion -
why not make a movie about dinosaurs? Budzo here already looks plenty like
a dinosaur, so I have faith in your ability to create awesome character designs
for dinosaurs.

Kai convinces Tendai to let the Marabous help - "Zambezia is more than just a place! It's an idea!" he says. "The idea that all of us are important - even Marabous! If they are willing to help, they earn the right to live here too."

Hey, yet another screencap that could make a potential meme!

The birds on Zambezia all want to fly for it, but Kai gives another rousing speech. "When I first came here," he says, "I thought I could do everything myself. And then I saw what Zambezia was all about! If we all stick together, and we do our part, we can win this thing!" Budzo, meanwhile, is approaching the nesting area.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S BUDZO!"

Kai, Tendai and Sekhuru fight Budzo while the Marabous try to destroy the bridge and fight the iguanas (or at least hold them off). And the Hurricanes are still stuck in that net, but fortunately Zoe finds them. The other birds do their part to fight Budzo as well, with the Hurricanes offering the Marabous some assistance in destroying the bridge. The combined forces of all those birds eventually manage to take out Budzo, sending him flying into the waters below... but he's taking Zoe with her! Kai, fortunately, manages to save her. Whether or not Budzo survived is left ambiguous, but monitor lizards can swim, so I'd say the chances are pretty big. But presumably he won't be bothering the Zambezians anymore (unless they ever make a sequel).

So all's well that ends well. Kai and Cecil's cousin are part of the Hurricanes, the Marabous are accepted, everybody parties, and Tendai dances awkwardly. The end.

It's Carnival in Zambezia!

I was pleasantly surprised by Zambezia. It's not a GREAT movie, but there's a lot to like about it. The voice actors all do a good job (especially Jim Cummings), the animation is pretty solid, and I really like how they handled the Marabou storks - it honestly felt like how The Lion King should've handled the hyenas. It does have its problems... Ezee and the valley girl birds can get kind of annoying, for one thing... but all in all, I'd say it's pretty solid. If you'd like to give it a watch, you can probably find it on DVD somewhere.

Next time on "Let's Watch This"... well, I don't wanna give away what we'll be watching, but I'll give you a hint: it's stop-motion. That's it. That's all you're getting.

Let's Watch This: "Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search For Christopher Robin" (1997)

I don't know why I haven't brought this up until now: I love Winnie the Pooh. He's my favorite Disney character. I've loved the character since I was a baby. And people all around the world love Winnie the Pooh, too. During the 1990s and 2000s, the bear was one of the biggest cash cows Disney had. You could find lots of merchandise...

Multiple TV shows...

Theme park attractions...

And, of course, movies. DisneyToon Studios was churning out movie after movie featuring Pooh Bear. Some were released in theaters, others direct-to-video.

I plan on doing reviews of many of these movies, but I thought a good place to start would be one of the first Winnie the Pooh movies released since The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh back in 1977. That movie is Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search For Christopher Robin (or, as it's also been called, Winnie the Pooh's Most Grand Adventure).

This film was released on August 5th, 1997. Amazingly, it got a lot of negative reviews, with people calling it "treacly" and "tedious". However, there were some positive reviews, and nowadays the film is looked at fondly by those online. But, in my opinion, you can never have enough positive reviews of Winnie the Pooh productions, so let's give the movie a watch.

Our movie begins once upon the last day of a golden summer. The narrator (David Warner) tells us that this story is about a boy and a bear. The bear, of course, is Winnie the Pooh, voiced by Jim Cummings. The boy, of course, is Christopher Robin (voiced by Brady Bluhum). Together, the two have had many marvelous adventures in the Hundred Acre Wood. But their most grand adventure, the narrator says, is still to begin.

Yes, crossing over a river is a most grand adventure indeed.

"Today," Pooh says as he walks through the wood, "I believe, is a good day for being Pooh. And here," he adds as he approaches a tree, "I should say, is a good place for being Pooh."

Christopher Robin arrives, and Pooh tells him that he's just in time for the best part of the day - "the part where you and me becomes we." Christopher Robin says that there's something he has to tell Pooh. Pooh asks if it's a nice thing. Christopher Robin replies that no, it isn't. "Then it can wait," Pooh insists. "It can? For how long?" Christopher Robin asks. "For ever and ever," Pooh replies.

Thus begins the first song, "Forever and Ever". It's a very sweet song, which just a touch of wistfulness. There's not much to say about it, but at one point Pooh and Christopher Robin get chased by bees, only to escape on a convenient nearby raft.

Good thing that raft just so happened to be nearby.

And so, for the rest of the day, Pooh and Christopher Robin have a good time. But by the time the sun is setting, Christopher Robin has forgotten what it is that he needs to tell Pooh.

As they approach the tree where they met at the beginning of the movie, Christopher Robin mentions that they haven't done "nothing" yet. Pooh asks, "What exactly IS doing nothing?" Pooh, you've already been over this at the end of The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, you need Christopher Robin to remind you? Anyhow, Christopher Robin explains that it means "going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering."

I'm getting a Calvin and Hobbes vibe from this scene.

Christopher Robin apparently remembered what it was that he needs to tell Pooh, and he tries to explain it in a way that doesn't involve straight-up saying it because if he DID straight-up say it, we wouldn't have a plot. Pooh admits that if there ever came a day when Christopher Robin wasn't around, he'd probably have some problems. What would he do if he weren't brave enough, or strong enough? Christopher Robin tells him to remember this - "You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

Dang, I can't even make jokes about this scene. I just can't do it. It's just such a sweet, beautiful scene, and Jim Cummings and Brady Bluhum give such wonderful performances, and Pooh, how can I possibly make a joke about Pooh? This isn't going to be a very funny review, is it?

"But the most important thing is," Christopher Robin adds as Pooh falls asleep, "Even if we're apart, I'll always be with you..."

The next morning, Pooh wakes up to discover that it's the first day of autumn. Pooh loves autumn. I guess that's one place where we don't agree, I'm not too fond of autumn. It's better than winter, though, I'll give it that. Pooh is so excited that he jumps out the door, into a pile of leaves... and finds a honey pot.

It's got a bow-tie, too, for some reason.

What Pooh doesn't know as he opens up the pot and prepares to eat the honey inside is that there's a note attached to it. And when he opens the pot, some honey spills out and gets all over the note. But then it occurs to Pooh that the honey pot could belong to somebody else, but he's not one-hundred percent sure. Thus, he decides to find Christopher Robin. But when he arrives at the tree, he discovers that Christopher Robin isn't there.

"Christopher Robin? Are you here? Are you there? Are you...
anywhere?"

Pooh goes to Piglet (John Fiedler)'s house to tell him about Christopher Robin's not being around, only to find Piglet climbing to the very top of the tree where his house is located. He's doing just what Christopher Robin said he should do - he's trying to conquer his fear of heights. However, there's a pretty good chance that it could conquer him first.

Look on the bright side, Piglet. You're a stuffed animal, so if
you fall, it's not like you'll break any bones.

Then Tigger, voiced by Paul Winchell, arrives and tries to calm Piglet's nerves. "There's no difference between plungin' ten thousand feet to the jagged rocks below and tumblin' out of bed," he says. "Except for the splat at the end, they're prack-tic-kally similar." This does not make Piglet feel any less afraid, so Tigger decides to bounce up there and get Piglet down. Problem is, Tigger's tail doesn't feel like cooperating today and with each bounce he's not able to reach Piglet.

Tigger does not approve of this situation.

Eventually the branch that Piglet's on breaks, and he winds up falling right on top of Tigger. Then it starts raining acorns.

How many acorns were IN that tree?

Meanwhile, Rabbit (Ken Sansom) is having difficulty with a carrot that he's trying to pull out of his garden. "It doesn't matter if YOU think you're not ripe!" he tells it, not realizing that carrots aren't sentient and thus he's wasting his time yelling at it. "This is RABBIT'S GARDEN! And Rabbit does his harvesting BY THE BOOK!" Which book? Why, The Bunny's Farm Companion, of course!

The triumphant music they added here is a nice touch.

According to the book, the first day of autumn is Harvest Day, but before Rabbit can realize that he's yelling at a carrot and wonder why he's screaming at an inanimate object, he gets caught in the acorn avalanche that's carrying Pooh, Piglet and Tigger towards Eeyore (Peter Cullen)'s house, which it promptly knocks down.

Eeyore, word of advice... get some cement or something
that'll make those sticks less prompt to falling over. Trust me.

Pooh asks Rabbit if he knows where Christopher Robin is, but Rabbit has no idea where he is or who the honey pot that Pooh found belongs to. Tigger initially says that it's his, but then remembers that he hates honey. "It isn't mine," Eeyore pipes up. "Then again, few things are." "If only I could find Christopher Robin," Pooh sighs, "He could tell me who it is." Rabbit suggests simply reading the note that the pot came with. But Pooh can't read, so he has some difficulty with that.

"Bother. I can't read this note. It's written in cursive."

Pooh asks Rabbit if HE can read the note. And after making this face...

A screencap that sums Rabbit's entire personality up in a
nutshell.

Rabbit claims that he could read the note with his eyes closed. He tries to read it... and spends the next few seconds yammering in gibberish. His friends are all extremely confused, and he decides to blame his not being able to read it on Tigger for bouncing him before.

Cut to Owl (Andre Stojka)'s house. Owl is able to read the note... sort of. "Dear Pooh,  it begins," he says, "Worry about me. I am going far away. Help." And the note has Christopher Robin's signature. The others are horrified, especially Pooh. "Christopher Robin?" he says, looking out the window at that tree from before. "My very best, best friend? It simply can not be... whatever will I do?" Piglet comforts him by saying that until Christopher Robin returns, he could always fill the role of being Pooh's bestest best friend. Tigger adds that if Piglet ever gets tired of being Pooh's bestest best friend, he and Eeyore could take over. "Oh, thank you," Pooh says as he gives them a hug, "But you already are the best of my best friends. You see, you and I can do anything. But only Christopher Robin and I can do nothing..."

I don't know why, but I love Tigger's expression here.

But wait! Owl has found the part of the note where Christopher Robin says where he went. And he's horrified, for the place that Christopher Robin went is somewhere bad. How bad? "On a scale of one to ten," he proclaims, closing the curtains, "It's not good." Christopher Robin has gone to S-C-H-O-O-L... a place known as SKULL! And as somebody who's had to go there day after day for years, I can confirm that S-C-H-O-O-L is somewhere bad.

"Skull? What sort of place is that?" Pooh asks. "Well, from the very sound of it, one can tell it's a most forbidden and far-away place," Owl replies. "Then we must help Christopher Robin!" Pooh exclaims. "Help him get back! To here! And us! And me." "Then it's a quest, is it?!" Owl says happily as he rushes off to make them a map, "Ha ha, that's the spirit! Ooh, the nobility of it! A long and dangerous journey into the great unknown! Of course, you'll need a map."

Piglet doesn't like the sound of a journey that's d-d-d-dangerous. Especially when Owl brings up the chances of running into Heffalumps, Woozles, Jagulars, and the fabled Skullosaurus. What's a Skullosaurus? He doesn't say.

Andre Stojka is clearly having fun doing this scene.

But as he tells his nervous friends, without a monster or two it's barely a quest, merely a gaggle of friends wandering about. "Oh-ho-ho-ho, how I envy you! Not everyone has a chance to face the unspeakable terrors of the great unknown!" he says just before launching into the next song, "Adventure is a Wonderful Thing". God, I love this song. I love the surreal visuals, I love Andre Stojka's bombastic performance, I love how into it Owl is... words don't do it justice. So here are some screencaps...

So after Owl's epic musical number, our heroes cross over into the part of the woods that Owl calls "the Great Unknown". "It was the start of their quest to find Christopher Robin," the Narrator says. "They would find him, Owl said, if they made it through the woods. For the woods, Owl said, were filled with Heffalumps and Woozles and... who know how much worse?" After making it through the woods, Pooh points out this large rock.

If you're here, you're where monsters are.

According to the map, this is the "Upside-Down Rock", and it's a popular place for monsters. As if on cue, they hear a growling noise that they think is coming from the woods they just went through. "What was that?" Piglet asks with a nervous smile. "Sounded too hungry for a Heffalump..." Tigger says. "Too plump for a Jagular... I'd say it's a big old... buggy-eyed... saber-toothy... Skullosaurus!" Everybody is panicking, and Pooh has no idea what to do. After he, Tigger, Piglet, and Eeyore run around screaming for a while, Rabbit decides to take charge. He decides that the best way to get the Skullosaurus off their trail is by cutting through a nearby meadow.

And by meadow, I mean a large forest of thorns.

I thought briar patches were where rabbits were "born and
bred".

Rabbit, as you might have guessed, has no idea what he's doing, but he's not going to let his friends know that. "No Skullosaurus would dare follow us in here!" he claims... right before they hear another growl, which prompts Piglet to make a run for it. Eventually, he arrives at a nice, peaceful spot where the sun is shining, birds are singing, butterflies are fluttering about, and there are flowers and rushing waterfalls galore. As his friends catch up with him, Piglet comes across some squeaky noise-making butterflies that take a liking to him and begin to lift him off the ground.

It would seem that the butterflies have gotten carried away.

Get it? Carried away? Because they're... yeah, I know.

Pooh tries to calm Piglet down by trying to remember what Christopher Robin said before, but he's having difficulty. Long story short, the butterflies bug off (no pun intended) and Rabbit winds up having Pooh and Piglet fall on top of him. Piglet is still bummed about how he's not brave, but Pooh gives him a pep-talk.

This way and that way the map leads them to all of the places that Christopher Robin isn't and to none of the places that he is. Pooh notices the Forbidden Mountains where Christopher Robin supposedly is in the distance, but Rabbit believes that they must follow the map if they are to find them... in fact, he's so convinced that the map knows all and sees all (despite being written by a scatterbrain like Owl) that he launches into a musical number, "If It Says So". The song is all about how great the map is and how they must do what it says. Why are we doing a song about a map? I don't know, ask Rabbit.

"All hail the map!"

My favorite part of the song is the random directional signs that keep popping out of the ground.

The map winds up tearing in two after the song, and one half floats away in the breeze. "After that map!" Tigger shouts before giving chase. He winds up chasing it to a creaky old log that serves as a bridge over a dangerous chasm. Tigger isn't able to bounce high enough to catch the map, and starts to doubt his bouncing ability. Eventually, the log gives way, and Tigger winds up clinging to the log as it becomes stuck farther down.

"Don't worry, Tigger," Pooh chuckles. "Christopher Robin said I just have to remember, uh, you're taller than a beam? Or was it 'slower than whipped cream'?" Eventually, Pooh reaches down to help Tigger out, and that leads to them all forming a chain and dangling into the chasm.

"I've heard of cliffhangers, but this is ridiculous!"

Eeyore accidentally lets go of the vine that he's holding onto with his teeth, and they all wind up falling into the chasm and landing in a mud pit. Fortunately, no one is harmed. And they have the second half of the map, too. There's just one problem - the Skullosaurus is apparently nearby, as they can hear it growling. So they all make a run for it.

We then cut to our heroes in a fog. Rabbit has no idea where they're going... apparently, he's realized that the map isn't much help after all. "Now, if Christopher Robin were here, what would he say?" Rabbit asks the others. "Well, if Christopher Robin were here, he'd say... THAT RABBIT CAN'T FUNCTION IN THIS HUMIDITY! AND IT'S NOT HIS FAULT! THIS FOG ISN'T EVEN ON THE MAP! AND THAT... that Rabbit isn't smart enough to figure out where to go or what to do..." Poor Rabbit is doubting himself, so Pooh tries to cheer him up by telling him what Christopher Robin told him before... he thinks it was "You're smarter when you're pink." So apparently Piglet is the smartest resident of the Hundred Acre Wood.

"I don't know where we are," Rabbit admits glumly. "And I haven't known for hours. I've failed us all." "I believe I have as well," Pooh adds. "Let's face it," Tigger groans, "Without Christopher Robin, we don't have a chance of finding Christopher Robin." Pooh spots a nearby cave and suggests they all sleep in there until the fog clears. As they walk towards the cave, Eeyore gets another great line: "End of the line... nothing to do... no hope of anything gettin' better... sounds like Saturday Night at my house."

I'm glad Eeyore gave us that joke, because this next scene is a big tear-gusher. It starts off innocently enough, with Rabbit unable to sleep thanks to how cold it is, plus Tigger is snoring and giggling in his sleep. Then he notices that Pooh has wandered outside...

I'm not even going to make a joke here.

"I've tried to find you, Christopher Robin," Pooh bemoans. "I've looked all the places you weren't... I just can't find the places you are... but I know where you are where I am not... then where am I? I wish you were here to tell me... Perhaps if I were to wish very, very hard..." This leads to the movie's most well-known song, "Wherever You Are". This is one of the most beautiful Disney songs ever written. I can't even begin to describe how powerful it is. Major props towards Jim Cummings, because his performance of this song is one of his greatest performances ever.

As Pooh falls asleep, Rabbit comes over and places the map over him like a blanket. The next morning, Piglet emerges from the cave and freaks out upon discovering that the cave they were in was part of Skull.

So Skull is basically just a Discount Cave of Wonders?

"Christopher Robin is in the eye of THAT thing?" Tigger asks. "How are we supposed to get up there?" "By going... in there?" Pooh suggests, pointing into the mouth of the cave. It might be dark, and frightful, and they have no idea what they'll find, but they have to do it for Christopher Robin.

So they venture deeper and deeper into the cave, and eventually come across a fork in the road of sorts. Pooh gets an idea - maybe they should all go in different directions. So off Rabbit goes in one direction, and off Piglet goes in another, and off Tigger goes in another, and so on.

Apparently Skull has a volcano in it, too. If not, where are
the gasses coming from?

They all wind up having weird shenanigans happen to them. For example, Rabbit winds up falling into a subterranean tunnel.

I don't know why, but I find this part hilarious.

Eventually Rabbit, Tigger, Eeyore and Piglet wind up colliding in a part of Skull where giant crystals form the walls. Pooh has walked behind those crystals, and they assume that his distorted reflection is the Skullosaurus and make a run for it. After that, Pooh winds up falling down a slide. The others believe that the Skullosaurus ate their friend, but of course he's fine - just stuck.

Then Rabbit discovers the eye of the Skull.

Which eye? The Skull has two of them.

Rabbit decides that he could try to think of a plan... for Pooh. Upon hearing this, Pooh says, "Thank you, Rabbit." If he can hear Rabbit, why can't they hear him? Well, anyhow, Rabbit is able to come up with an idea - Tigger could bounce Piglet up to a ledge, then Piglet could toss down a long vine that they could use to climb up to the eye and save Christopher Robin. Tigger and Piglet are worried they can't do it, but decide to do it for Pooh.

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's SuperTigger!

Well, they're able to pull it off, and apparently they still don't notice Pooh stuck in the crystals nearby. Speaking of which, Pooh manages to get free... and winds up falling into a deep, dark cavern... giant oysters?

I think they're actually rocks...

Pooh tries to escape, but can't climb the walls. "Bother," he moans. "I believe, if there is no way out... then I shall have to stay in. No more friends... no more Christopher Robin... no more 'we'... if only I hadn't forgotten what he asked me to remember. Oh, Christopher Robin, if you could've just seen Piglet. He was braver than he believes. And Tigger, he was stronger than he seems. And Rabbit was much smarter than he thinks." Then he hears Christopher Robin's voice reminding him that he'll always be with him. "It's a rather puzzling thing, but it's almost as if you've never left me... but that can't be... can it? Or can it?" Pooh asks, staring into the pot of honey. "Perhaps you ARE here. Even if we're apart, we all together. Then perhaps Owl got it all wrong," he says. "Because the place where you are is not on a map. How very nice for... us."

No, I can't make jokes about this scene either.

Anyway, Eeyore, Piglet, Tigger and Rabbit are able to make it up to the eye, and then a foreboding shadow approaches... oh, wait, it's Christopher Robin! "You made it!" Tigger exclaims. Christopher Robin asks where they've been, and Piglet, Tigger and Rabbit give him a recap - they're braver, stronger, and smarter than they initially thought. "Didn't have to come clear out here to find it. Had it inside all along," Eeyore says, spelling it out for the audience.

Christopher Robin then tells them that he wasn't in Skull, he was at SCHOOL. "That Owl! I knew 'skull' had another Y in it!" Rabbit complains. Then Christopher Robin tells us what the note REALLY said: "Dear Pooh, don't worry about me, I'm not far away, off to school, help yourself to some honey." Oh, and those growling noises that they thought was the Skullosaurus? Those were just the rumblings of Pooh's stomach. Side note, Jim Cummings also did said growling noises.

They manage to get Pooh out of the cavern with a giant honey pot. Where they got it, I don't know, but who cares? Pooh and Christopher Robin are finally reunited.

All together now: d'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw...

As they emerge from Skull, they notice that it's suddenly much smaller and less scary-looking than before. According to Christopher Robin, things can seem that way when we're alone or afraid. "But now there's nothing to be afraid of," says Rabbit. They all sing a song called "Everything is Right" (Jim Cummings does Tigger's singing, by the way) as they head back home. And everything is indeed right in the Hundred Acre Wood. Owl even shows up again to express happiness for their making it home safe.

Pooh and Christopher Robin make their way back to the tree from before as Christopher Robin explains why he went to school - to learn things. "It's rather fun, really. In a different sort of way," Christopher Robin admits. Uh, Christopher Robin, since when is school fun?

And when Christopher Robin was afraid, he thought of his friends. "It's what I would've done," Pooh says with a smile. Then Christopher Robin admits that he's been told he's going to have to go back to school tomorrow. Pooh asks if he should try to find him again, but Christopher Robin says, "I'll be back... as long as you're here. Promise me you'll be here? Promise? Even when I'm a hundred?" "How old shall I be then?" Pooh asks. "Ninety-nine," is the reply. "I promise," says Pooh. "Forever and ever?" asks Christopher Robin. "Yes, Christopher Robin. Forever and ever," Pooh reassures him. And that's the end.

What I have just reviewed may very well be the best direct-to-video Disney movie of all time. I have literally no complaints about this movie. It... where do I even begin? Each character is written at their best - Pooh is his usual lovable, kindhearted self. Piglet, Rabbit, and Tigger all get wonderful character arcs. And even though Eeyore doesn't, they make up for that by giving him such great lines. Owl is a highlight. The animation is very impressive for a direct-to-video Disney production. The songs, I love the songs. And the voice acting is per usual wonderful, Jim Cummings in particular gives one of his greatest performances as Pooh yet. It's such a sweet movie. One of the best Winnie the Pooh movies, right up there with the original 1977 movie, The Tigger Movie, and the 2011 movie.

Why are you just sitting there? Go watch it! But be warned, it's not afraid to pull at the heartstrings.

P.S. Here's something I've been wondering about for years... did Pooh forget about the events of this film in the 2011 movie? If he didn't, why did he go to Owl to decipher another note for him?

Animated Commercials Back From When Commercials Were Actually Fun - Part 2

Have you had your break today? Well, if you haven't, I think that now would be a great time to have one. And while you're having your break, you can read this!

That was intended to be a reference to that old McDonald's slogan "Have you had your break today?". Unless you watched a lot of television during the 1990s, chances are you probably wouldn't have gotten that reference. But anyway, let's get on with the post...

Yes, it's time for another post about the wonderful world of animated commercials. Just like last time, I've collected fourteen entirely-animated commercials from the days before commercials weren't just a blur of memes and techno music and random things like that" or long and needlessly creepy ads for medicines and stuff. Why fourteen? Because why not, I say.

Let's go over the rules again: the commercials must be ANIMATED. Or at least the majority of it must be animated. Incredibly-realistic CGI animals in a live action environment doesn't count. And the animation must be ORIGINAL as opposed to recycled from a movie. So don't expect to see, I don't know, a Burger King commercial featuring clips from Shark Tale or something. All right, here we go...

Let's start off with this Intel ad featuring the characters from Madagascar. Of course, the Penguins - Rico in particular - take center stage, but Alex and Marty make cameos and even get a quick line each (that's Wally Wingert and Phil LaMarr doing their voices here).

DISCLAIMER: if you're a zookeeper, do not feed a penguin an Intel cartridge. It's not going to result in a cool light show thing like it does here. Commercials with talking penguins, lions and zebras aren't exactly super-realistic.

Here's another commercial from the folks at Aardman. They seem to be channeling their Creature Comforts shorts with this ad, as is the case with most of their ads (Hubba Bubba, Chevron, etc.). The Countryside Code, for those unaware, is a set of rules for those in the United Kingdom that want to explore the countryside. In order they are be safe, plan ahead and follow any signs, leave gates and property as you find them, protect plants and animals, take your litter home, keep dogs under close control, and consider other people.

So here we have a dog, a horse, a spider, a fly, and... I believe those are albatrosses telling us to follow these rules. I've admittedly never been to Great Britain, but if I ever do go there I'll keep the rules in mind.

All right, this is technically a PSA, but those still count as commercials, right?

Anyhow, Wile E. Coyote and Shamu is a strange combination, but eh, I think it works. And it gets the point across pretty well - if you see a sign reading "DANGER! THIN ICE", don't go any further. Thurl Ravenscroft is providing the voice of Shamu here. This isn't his only connection to Looney Tunes, as he also narrated a 1996 Daffy Duck short called Superior Duck.

CANNIBALISM! THAT'S going to make people want to eat at Dairy Queen, right? The talking lips were creepy enough, and now we have THIS. Oh, and you gotta love the implication that they're eating their own kids. That's a laugh riot right there. I'm not going to say that this is an awful ad, but boy howdy is it disturbing.

Interesting fact - the male shrimp is voiced by Jim Conroy, who you might recall as the voice of Ruff Ruffman from Fetch! With Ruff Ruffman. Anybody else heard of that show?

Here's a rarity nowadays - a RECENT animated commercial! How long has it been since we've had a fully-animated commercial? And for Mountain Dew at that! Just look at how fast the camera moves, how much is packed into this ad, how great the animation is... my one complaint is that the ad is far too short. Though, to be fair, it's a Mountain Dew commercial. How much can you really say about Mountain Dew aside from "It's a soda!"?

Also, "Dewnited States" is an awful pun.

Is it just me, or are a lot of animated commercials for food? Anyhow, here's an advertisement from the folks at PIXAR (back before they started making movies). There's not a whole lot to say about this ad. It's like what an acid trip viewed by Cookie Monster would look like.

I admittedly have no idea what the "Bell System" is... I'm guessing that it's some sort of phone company... or at least it has SOMETHING to do with phones. Anyhow, here's a wonderful old commercial from the 1970s for the "Bell System". Fittingly, it's narrated by the soothing voice of Michael Bell (you can hear a bit of Chaz Finster in his voice).

I think I've considered doing a separate edition of this series for Super Bowl commercials that are animated, but I'm not sure how many animated Super Bowl commercials there are. In fact, I'm still not one hundred percent sure if this ad is completely animated - the scene with the tortoise at the car factory could be a combination of CGI and live-action for all I know.

But anyway, here's an interesting Super Bowl commercial based on that iconic fable The Tortoise and the Hare. Robert Bouge provides the voice of the Hare, and Bill Lobley of Sealab 2021 fame can be heard as the fox, the snail, and the possum. I don't know who did the voice of the Tortoise.

We'll just have to ignore, of course, that the tortoise pretty much cheats (then again, maybe there's nothing in the rules of the race that says you CAN'T drive a car). And that this goes against the whole "Slow and Steady Wins the Race" moral of the story, though I think that's the whole point anyhow. Besides, as I've said before, the moral of the story is really less "slow and steady wins the race" and more "don't be a cocky idiot and take a nap during a footrace".

I had to put this one in. It made its debut in 1970, but it hasn't stopped airing since. Nowadays, they usually just cut straight to the kid asking Mr. Owl, though I recall seeing versions with Mr. Turtle still intact years ago. Eventually it manages to enter your head and never leave: there's a very good chance that after the one, two-hoo, or thuh-thrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrree times that you've seen it it, you'll be able to quote it from memory.

I love the simplistic but still very fluid animation of the commercial and the wonderful voice-over work from Buddy Foster (as the kid), Frank Nelson (as Mr. Cow), Paul Frees (as Mr. Fox), Ralph James (as Mr. Turtle), and of course, Paul Winchell as Mr. Owl. I also love that this ad has spawned so many parodies on YouTube. You're probably the most familiar with that one where Mr. Owl replies to the kid's question with "It's over NINE-THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!"

The question remains, of course, just how many licks DOES it take to get to the Toostie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? I have absolutely no idea. Go ask some animal that isn't an owl.

And no, I don't know why that kid doesn't have any clothes on either.

Remember Hunny Bs cereal? I totally ate these when I was younger. This charming little commercial, judging from the animation style, seems to have been made around the same time as The Tigger Movie. Jim Cummings and John Fiedler provide the voices of Pooh, Tigger and Piglet, and I believe Laurie Main and Peter Cullen are doing the narrator and Eeyore (Eeyore might actually be Gregg Berger, his line is too brief for me to deduce who it is). Don't worry, Pooh - even if the "B" won't give you any honey, you can always borrow some from Rabbit.

The Jetsons are no strangers to shilling for products - over the years, they've starred in advertisements for Radio Shack, Electrasol, and more recently LG. In 2008, four members of the family appeared in a commercial for Tums. Specifically, this one. This ad features Jeff Bergman as George and Astro, Tress MacNeille as Rosey, and Lauri Fraiser as Jane. I really don't have much to say about it...

This Swiffer commercial is a tie-in for Monsters University, yet another animated movie that everyone seems to hate but me. It's refreshing to see a Swiffer ad that doesn't make me feel sorry for a broom or a mop or something else that you use to clean with. Seriously, that's what a large percentage of Swiffer ads were in the 2000s - some woman is using a Swiffer, and we see their old broom or mop or whatever being all depressed. That's supposed to make people want to buy a Swiffer?

Anyhow, Carlos Alazraqui fills in for Billy Crystal as the voice of Mike here. He can also be heard as Mike in several video games and the Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor attraction at Walt Disney World.

And to close things out, here's a commercial for General Mills cereal from 2015. Ya know how I mentioned before that most commercials today are just a blur of memes and techno music and random things like that? Here's a perfect example. It just reeks of General Mills trying to copy what's popular in kids' cartoons at the moment: the art style, the use of modern slang... there's also the tiny little fact that I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. The kid tells the mascots that it's Wednesday, Chip goes berserk because Wednesday stole his car (how the heck does a day of the week steal somebody's car?!), and then the Trix Rabbit gives the kid cereal and... seriously, what the heck is going on?

Even the talents of Kevin Michael Richardson, Eric Bauza, and Tom Kenny (I think Jeremy Shada's doing the voice of the kid, but I'm not sure who's voicing Sonny) can't save this ad from being lousy. Though if Kevin becomes the full-time voice of Chip, I'm totally cool with that.

Have a comment about one of these ads? Did you work on any of these ads and want to share a little information about them? Feel free to leave a comment!

And yes, I've decided that the next one I do of these will indeed be a Christmas one.