Let's Watch This: An Episode of "The Roman Holidays"

I've said this multiple times, but if something in animation is successful, you can expect other animation studios to try and cash-in on its success - even if the animation company attempting to cash-in on whatever it is that's successful is the very same animation company who made the successful thing that it's trying to cash-in on in the first place!

Case in point, Hanna-Barbera had a hit with The Flintstones. So they made ANOTHER animated sitcom taking place in another time period, The Jetsons. THAT was really successful too, so they decided to it a THIRD time. The result was a little show called The Roman Holidays.

The Roman Holidays was basically The Flintstones or The Jetsons in Ancient Rome, focusing on a stereotypical sitcom family living in the days of colosseums and gladiators. The head of the family - the Fred of the show - was Augustus "Gus" Holiday (voiced by Wacky Races narrator Dave Willock). He was married to Laurie Holiday (Shirley Mitchell) and they had two kids: teenage son Happius (Stanley Livingston) and kid daughter Precocia (Pamelyn Ferdin). They also had a pet lion, Brutus, voiced by Daws Butler using his Snagglepuss voice (though he didn't really talk - he just said things like "Growl", "Snarl", and "Whimper"). To make the comparisons to The Flintstones even more blatant, they even use animals in place of household appliances every so often. The show premiered on NBC in September of 1972.

Did the show succeed in becoming another Flintstones? That would be a no. It only lasted thirteen episodes before getting cancelled. Unlike Hanna-Barbera's other "sitcom in another time period" shows, it didn't get any spin-offs or movies or anything like that. It got a comic book, though... a comic book that only got four issues, but still. Why did it fail? I don't know. Why don't we watch an episode and see if we can figure out why The Roman Holidays turned out to be a yabba-dabba-dud? Specifically, we'll be watching the episode "Hero-Sandwiched" (I just picked an episode of the show at random). Let's meet the Roman Holidays!

The episode begins at some place called "Tycoonius Industries", which is apparently some sort of bank where they just hand out free money. Is that a thing that banks do? Or at least used to do? Anyhow, Gus complains about how long the line is. Then some robbers show up and steal all the money because robbers do that.

This leads to our first example of Flintstones-style "animals used in place of appliances" joke - the guy behind the counter has an "alarm" that consists of him pulling on a jaguar's tail, causing the jaguar to howl in pain, which in turn alerts a parrot who starts ringing a bell. Even ignoring the fact that this is technically animal abuse, wouldn't it be easier to just ring the bell yourself and have THAT be the alarm?

Oh, hey, the generic "fat thug and skinny thug" duo we've seen in a bunch of other animated things.
It's never two fat thugs or two skinny thugs, is it?

On their way out, they swipe the sash from Gus' toga, and he winds up being dragged along for their getaway. When all the other folks in town see this, they assume Gus is chasing the crooks and start talking about how brave he is. Even the THIEVES think he's chasing after them, and nobody notices the sash connecting Gus to the chariot. Clearly everyone in ancient Rome needs glasses.

Eventually, the thieves are stopped by a traffic cop, and some woman tells him that Gus caught the thieves - one of whom is Fingers Felonius, the city's most wanted criminal. Zhe odds, vhat are zhey?

That's a pretty advanced-looking camera for Ancient Rome.

So now everybody thinks that Gus is a hero. Usually in cartoons, when a character is assumed to have stopped some robbers or saved a bunch of people or something like that, they're all for it and start acting like they're the greatest thing since sliced bread. But Gus? He insists to his family that he is not, in fact, a hero. He might be George Jetson in a toga, but he's not a hero.

Hey, what about the traffic cop? HE'S the one who made the thieves stop. Why isn't HE getting the "he's a hero" treatment?

This screencap of Brutus holding Gus and making that face looks kind of
suggestive out of context, doesn't it?

Brutus kisses Gus, prompting Laurie to quip, "See the way he LIONIZES you?" Nyuck nyuck nyuck. Puns. Then the family gets a visit from landlord Mr. Evictus (Dom DeLuise). Get it? Evictus? Usually, Mr. Evictus is a grouchy fella, but he's actually in a pleasant mood for once. He thanks Gus, for because of his selfless act, he can double the tenants' rent. "It costs extra to live next door to a national hero!" he says.

Oh, great. Now the other tenants are gonna suffer because of Gus.

Was this Dom DeLuise's first voice acting job?

After that, Gus gets a call from his boss, Mr. Tycoonius (Hal Smith). He says that they're going to throw a big dinner in Gus' honor that night. Gus faints. As for me, I'm just wondering why they have telephones in Ancient Rome. I'm no expert on telephones or Ancient Rome, but I'm pretty sure that telephones weren't invented until long after the days of Ancient Rome. I know, I know, it's a cartoon, I shouldn't expect historical accuracy, but still...

Seriously, that's a pretty modern-looking (well, modern-looking in the 1970s, at least) phone
for a show taking place in Ancient Rome.

At the dinner, Gus is presented with a medal. And it's only NOW that he lets the fame of being a supposed hero go to his head. I knew it was only a matter of time. When he gets home, he makes out with his reflection in a mirror. No, really. I think even Zapp Brannigan would be rolling his eyes at that.

In the middle of the night, Gus is woken up by a tiny duplicate of himself who claims to be his conscience.

"I thought consciences looked like crickets..."

"You're beginning to think you ARE a hero!" his conscience complains. "Fooling other people is bad enough, but fooling YOURSELF is a far worse crime! Trying to live up to this hero image could be your downfall!" But we can't have Gus deciding to tell the truth just yet or else the episode will be over in five seconds, so he tells his conscience to bug off.

Gus continues to act like he's basically the Hercules of Ancient Rome as he heads off to work. On his way there, he runs into this guy.

Just look at those teeth!

He introduces himself as "Ten Percentium" (clearly voiced by John Stephenson), an agent, and encourages Gus to go into show business (there's no business like it, after all). "Sign with me and I'll book you on the Johnny Carsonious show!" he boasts. Yes, apparently Johnny Carson existed in Ancient Rome too. I don't know about you, but I'm learning a lot from this cartoon.

You know what I just realized? This episode has the exact same plot as Shark Tale. Should I be concerned about that?

Gus quits his job at the factory, then his conscience shows up again and tries to get Gus to stop acting like such an arrogant moron, but it doesn't do any good. Soon he's appearing on the Johnny Carsonious show alongside superstar "Va Va Glamore". Guess which celebrity SHE'S supposed to be a parody of (hint: it's not Dolly Parton).

This is Johnny Carsonious. He has the ability to make his top half levitate.

Va Va Glamore starts flirting with Gus, and he's totally eating it up despite, y'know, BEING MARRIED. His family is watching the show on TV or whatever the Ancient Rome equivalent of a TV is called, and Laurie is understandably none too pleased to see that.

"I've always had a thing for Fred Flintstone wannabes..."

After the appearance on Johnny Carsonious, Gus goes on a six-month tour. Again, what about the TRAFFIC COP? Shouldn't HE be treated like a hero to? How come GUS is getting all the glory?

And then guess who shows up yet again?

"How many times must I tell you to stop being such a tool?!"

The conscience guilt-trips Gus by showing him how much his family needs him. Since he hasn't been home in six months, Laurie has to do the ironing and washing.

Well, at least the elephant's happy to help her.

And little Precocia has been reduced to standing on the curb selling flowers. And just to add insult to injury, she's allergic to fresh petunias!

I think even Dick Dastardly would look at Gus at this point and go, "Wow, this guy is
despicable."

And what about Happius? He's shining sandals on some street corner!

How does he avoid shining the rest of the foot? That sounds rather difficult with sandals...

Even Brutus is suffering - he's been forced to beg door to door for scraps. And despite his impressive fiddle-playing, he gets a door slammed in his face! What the heck?! If I opened the door and saw a lion standing on two legs playing the fiddle (or ANY type of musical instrument, for that matter), I'd be pretty impressed...

At least he's not hungry enough to start eating people. He IS a lion, after all...

And yet, despite seeing all of that, Gus tells his conscience that he can't quit now - he's due on the Martin Dino show. Gus is such a likeable character, isn't he? I thought the theme song said that we would LOVE Gus. I do NOT "love" Gus. I don't even kinda like Gus.

Is it wrong to say that I hope he gets punched in the face at some point?

Then Gus and Ten Percentium come across a boy selling newspapers. "Extra! Extra! Hero saves Leaning Tower from falling!" he yells. "We got a NEW hero now!" Yes, a guy named Flavio Octavio has been named "Hero of the Year" for preventing the Leaning Tower of Pisa from collapsing, and upon finding this out Ten Percentium tells Gus to take a hike. I probably shouldn't be satisfied by this, but y'know what? Gus still refuses to cancel a booking on a talk show after finding out that his young daughter has to stand on the curb selling something she's allergic to in order to pay the bills (or whatever the Ancient Rome equivalent of bills are). I consider this karma.

Fortunately, this makes Gus realize that he's been acting like a massive tool. "I should've told the truth in the beginning," he moans. But, hey, at least he still has his wife... OR DOES HE?

Okay, that's literally just Fred from Scooby-Doo with a perm.

Yes, the Karma Train just a-keeps on chuggin' down the track - Laurie has hooked up with Flavio Octavio! Likely out of revenge for seeing Gus soak up all that flirting from Va Va Glamore earlier. Gus winds up getting into a brawl with Flavio... and then wakes up. Apparently, everything after the dinner was just a dream. So Gus ISN'T such a massive jerk after all!

Gus tells the entire town that he is not, in fact, a hero. "I'm a phony," he says. But his family is proud of him for telling the truth. Even his boss is proud - he's so proud that he gives him a promotion. The end.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TRAFFIC COP?

What's the Verdict?

To be honest, The Roman Holidays is another one of Hanna-Barbera's more mediocre shows. It isn't awful or anything, it just doesn't have much going for it. The show does a rather lousy job of hiding its being a Flintstones clone (I think even The Jetsons did more to stand out). The jokes aren't all that funny. The characters? Well, for one thing, it's a bad sign when your character acts like an egotistical tool who neglects his family for a good chunk of the episode. The only thing preventing Gus from being one of my most disliked characters in all of the shows that I've looked at on my blog thus far is that it was all just a dream and he isn't REALLY like that. The wife is basically just Jane Jetson 2.0, not much of a personality and just there to be the loving wife and mother. And the kids and Brutus don't have enough screentime in this episode for me to really judge them.

Look, I'll admit that few of Hanna-Barbera's shows are on the same level, complexity-wise, as Shakespeare or Warner Brothers' cartoons or anything like that. A lot of animated shows aren't (I mean, come on, you can't tell me that My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is a super-complex show). Hanna-Barbera's shows are carried almost entirely by the characters. The more charm one of their characters has, the better their productions are. Wally Gator, Magilla Gorilla, and Yogi Bear aren't super-complex characters, but they don't NEED to be. They've got friendly personalities, great voices, funny lines, and distinct character designs. They work their way into our minds and stick around for a while because we like them. So what if they don't have as many layers as an onion or an ogre? We don't watch Hanna-Barbera cartoons because we're expecting multi-layered writing. We watch them because goofy talking animals make us laugh.

Bottom line, the characters are the main difference between a good Hanna-Barbera production and a bad Hanna-Barbera production. The more memorable the show's characters are, the better the show is. The characters in The Roman Holidays are dull and unmemorable. My advice would be to just rewatch The Flintstones or The Jetsons instead.

What are we looking at next time?