Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Tak and the Power of Juju"

In 2003, the folks at Nickelodeon, Avalanche Software, and THQ released a video game about some sort of tribal kid in a loincloth named Tak. It was called Tak and the Power of Juju. I've never played the game, nor have I played either of its sequels, but it's noteable in that it's the only video game produced by Nickelodeon to not be based on one of their already-existing animated series. It's also got a pretty impressive voice cast - Rob Paulsen, John Kassir, Patrick Warburton, Jeff Bennett, Lara Jill Miller, and Jason Marsden as Tak himself.

I don't know if Nickelodeon's intent when creating the game was that if it did well they could make a TV show out of it. But in 2007, that's what happened.

Tak and the Power of Juju premiered on August 31st, 2007. Twenty-six episodes were made before Nickelodeon gave the show the axe due to crummy ratings. The show focuses on Tak, now voiced by Hal Sparks, getting into whacky antics in his village, usually involving these magical creatures called Jujus. Whatever Nickelodeon's plans for the franchise was, they came to a halt after they cancelled it and now the character of Tak is one of those Nickelodeon characters you rarely if ever see brought up nowadays.

Why couldn't the show find an audience? Let's find out, shall we? We'll be watching the third episode, which consists of the segments "The Three Chiefs" and "The Party", to see if this Nicktoon that never caught on is a hidden gem or a lump of Juju doo-doo. Heh, rhymes...

"The Three Chiefs" begins with the chief of the Pupanunu people, creatively named "the Chief" (and voiced by Maurice LaMarche) having a statue made in his likeness. As tribal chiefs in animation are known to do.

"Hey, my chin isn't THAT big!"

The Chief gives us some exposition: the chiefs of two other tribes, Zogsnob and Tinatina, are coming to the Pupanunu village - and they just so happen to be the tribes of two most important tribes ever, hintidy-hint-hint-hint.

After a flashback, we cut to Tak and this girl named Jeera (Kari Wahlgren), the Chief's daughter, who was not in the games and presumably was created for the show because the show needed at least one female member of the main cast. And also because Tak needed a girlfriend, apparently. Tak tries to cast a magic spell on Jeera that will allow her to float, but instead just lifts up the statue, which eventually winds up smashing into a million pieces. Methinks Tak kind of sucks as a sorcerer or a shaman or whatever it is that he's trying to be.

"Now, what are those magic words again? Hocus pocus? No... abra-cadabra? I don't
think so... bibbity bobbity boo? Nah, can't risk Disney's lawyers going after us..."

The Chief is mad at Tak for his failure at magic-using destroying his statue. Tak is all "I can just fix the statue with my magic, even though it's been established about five seconds ago that I'm not very good at magic!", but the Chief swipes his staff and declares that Tak is banned from the big banquet that they'll be having.

Then the other two chiefs show up. Say hello to Chief Zogsnob (Jeff Bennett)...

"Chiefs, chiefs everywhere..."

...and Chief Tinatina (Melanie Chartoff).

Isn't she technically a chieftess?

They have brought giant golden statues of themselves. Chief Zogsnob has also brought his pet bug, Puddles.

It's funny because an animal that isn't a dog is acting like a dog! LAUGH! Please, LAUGH!

So they have their little banquet and as the Chief rambles on about all the impressive things HIS tribe has been doing, Jeera spots Tak in a tree. She tosses him a roast pig on a plate in front of her, and it... hits him in the face, causing him to fall out of the tree and land right on the banquet table. Uh oh, I smell WHACKY SHENANIGANS coming our way!

Thanksgiving at the Nickelodeon Studio was a bit awkward. But, it was hardly the first time
that a character from a failing cartoon show was served as the main course. Why do you think
Yakkety Yak hasn't shown up since HIS show got cancelled?

Tak's staff goes off and zaps the Chief with its magic, and he's all mad until Zogsnob and Tinatina start laughing and going on about what a riot the Pupanunu shaman is. Then the Chief realizes that he can use this to his advantage and declares that Tak will be demonstrating more of his magic powers throughout the other chiefs' visit. I can only see THIS ending well...

First, the Chief has Tak shear the sheep with his magic.

Is magic even necessary to shear a sheep? Can't you just take them to the BAA-ber shop?

Ba-dum ksssssh.

Tak does so... but also manages to strip the Chief of his grass skirt. Next, the Chief has Tak fetch a coconut... only for Tak to conjure up an entire coconut tornado. Maybe I should have picked another cartoon to review - there's only so many jokes you can make about Tak being a failure at life before the review starts to become repetitive.

Uh... insert Wizard of Oz reference here, I've got nothing.

The Chief then proceeds to take the other Chiefs and Tak to a cave where some sort of ferocious beast they caught a while back dwells. Zogsnob says that he's sure Tak can tame the beast, but the Chief actually isn't as dumb as he appears because he claims that Tak is a little tired right now. "Aw, come on! Give it a go!" Zogsnob insists. Okay, let's get the Chief's inevitable mauling over with...

...oh, wait. Maybe the Chief WON'T get mauled after all. This is what the ferocious beast looks like:

Then again, since this is a cartoon there's a pretty good chance that the cute-looking animal is in fact a ravenous sharp-toothed monster who promptly attacks the Chief... yep, that's exactly what happens.

After the Chief is apparently eaten alive, we cut to Zogsnob and Tinatina talking about how the Chief is a moron and how Tak is so incompetent he'll likely wind up destroying the village before long. Little do they know that Jeera is listening in on them...

"Wait a minute, I'm not even in the games?! Then what the heck am I doing in this show?!"

Jeera goes to tell her father, and we get a joke about how Zogsnob and Tinatina gave the Chief a monkey, presumably for no other reason than because monkeys are funny, right?

"It was either this, a chicken, or a penguin. I felt the monkey had the biggest chance of
getting a laugh out of the audience."

"Dad, can't you see they're just trying to make a fool out of you?!" Jeera exclaims. "If you let them treat you like that, you're gonna get hurt!" Unfortunately, the monkey is screeching too loudly for the Chief to hear her. So then Jeera decides to go tell Tak. Surely HE will know what she's talking about.

TWO monkeys are not automatically funny either.

Alas, Tak is also a moron and is also wearing a monkey on his head. It's kind of depressing that the only character in the show who's actually competent is the one who isn't actually in the games. Fortunately, later that night Tak overhears Zogsnob and Tinatina badmouthing him and the Chief, and he quickly concocts a plan to give them their comeuppance.

We cut to him running up on stage and giving a big speech about how the Pupanunu are seen as the most pathetic tribe ever (for obvious reasons), but now he's going to prove that they aren't.

"Y'know, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the village tonight. I ran into a monkey
who said he hadn't had a bite in three days. So I let him bite me!"

Tak then proceeds to zap the remains of the Chief's statue with his staff... causing it to blow up and sending everyone flying. Whatever his plan was, I think it's pretty safe to say that it was an EPIC FAIL.

Zogsnob and Tinatina start chewing out the Chief for what losers he and his tribe are. Zogsnob even does the loser gesture. I feel dirty for agreeing with the episode's antagonists, but... honestly, they're not wrong. Jeera seems to be the only one in this village who ISN'T a massive idiot.

In fact, maybe the show should've just been about her. They could've called it "JEERA and the Power of Juju". Or maybe "Jeera and the Village of Incompetent Idiots That She Has to Put Up With on a Daily Basis".

He's lookin' kinda dumb.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist...)

The Chief gets mad and declares that Zogsnob and Tinatina have tried his patience long enough. "We may not have gold or silver," he claims, "Or even this strange substance you call 'soap', but we have our PUPUNUNU PRIDE! And the power of the mightiest shaman in the Seven Cliffs Area!"

Then the pieces of the statue reform back into a likeness of the Chief, much to everyone's shock. And then the statue comes to life! Because... Juju magic, I guess?

"THEY LOOK LIKE BIG, GOOD, STRONG HANDS, DON'T THEY? WELL, THESE BIG,
GOOD, STRONG HANDS ARE GREAT FOR PICKING UP TINY BUGS SO THAT I CAN
EAT THEM!"

The statue chases Zogsnob and Tinatina into the jungle, and the Chief praises Tak for doing the right thing... before demanding that he never do it again. Tak then proceeds to thank Jeera for being the one who actually has a brain by giving her... y'know what? I'll give you three guesses. Is it...

A) A MONKEY

B) A MONKEY

OR C) A MONKEY

The correct answer, of course, is A MONKEY. BECAUSE MONKEYS ARE FUNNY, RIGHT? RIGHT?!

RIGHT?!

Okay, next episode...

"The Party" begins with Tak bragging to Jeera about how it's because of him that the tribe hasn't had bad luck for three months. "We need to celebrate! Something really great!" he says. "Like... a PARTY!" Jeera reminds him of how the last party they had turned out. Apparently, they lit a firework that proceeded to BLOW UP THE MOON. No doubt this wound up wreaking havoc on the Earth's tides.

Great. Now the kid in the DreamWorks logo has nothing to sit on!

Tak's thoughts on the fact that his tribe destroyed the moon? "Hmmm. That explosion wasn't nearly as big as it should've been." Of course, as we've established, Tak is a moron. Jeera agrees with me and punches Tak in the arm for his stupidity, but he tells her not to worry, because he's calling in a professional... PARTY JUJU!

Why do sassy love interest characters in cartoons always make that exact same pose?
The hands on their hips thing? Do people still do that? Did they EVER do that?

So, who is this "Party Juju" of whom Tak speaks? Well, he's a skeleton in a Hawaiian shirt voiced by Rob Paulsen who is WHACKY and does WHACKY CRAP and can apparently duplicate himself because he's WHACKY. Something tells me that this is going to be a very annoying character.

He also kind of looks like an ape's skeleton, presumably another instance of the writers
assuming that primates are automatically funny.

Lord Hater's lunatic brother uses his magic powers to get the party STAR-TED, and then Tak makes the mistake of declaring that he doesn't want this party to ever end. Ever. Calling it - the Party Juju's gonna make it so that the party indeed never ends, and Tak will learn a valuable lesson about too much partying.

But for now, it's PARTY TIME!

Where's the cast of Viva Pinata! when you need them?

The next morning, Tak wakes up to discover that everyone is STILL dancing. Not by choice, apparently, in fact they're all incredibly tired. He confronts Party Juju, who tells him that he just did what Tak said - made it so that the party never ended. Called it.

"Alas, poor Party Juju. I hardly knew ye..."

"I didn't mean it LITERALLY!" Tak protests, but Party Juju says that he can't put an end to the party because he's Party Juju. If Tak wants to stop the party, he'll need to find his wife, Killjoy Juju, and Party Juju apparently has no idea where she is.

Also, there's a conga line headed right for the edge of a cliff. Tak uses his staff to reverse the conga line, then summons the one known as Killjoy Juju (Mary Birdsong).

Party Juju married THIS HIDEOUS THING? Well, they say love is blind...

Tak begs Killjoy to stop the party, but she is incredibly unhelpful, mainly because it's Party Juju who gets all the love. Then we get what is thus far the only funny joke in the entire episode - the conga line is headed straight for a volcano, unenthusiastically singing "We are going to burn UP. We are going to burn UP." Tak uses his staff to reverse them again, and they walk down the volcano chanting "That's a whole lot bet-TER. That's a whole lot bet-TER."

One funny joke, however, does not make up for subjecting the viewers to the ugliest thing
Nickelodeon has ever created.

Tak manages to convince Killjoy that Party Juju is very, very grateful for her party-stopping skills, which finally gets her to stop the party. The villagers are freed! And then the conga line still winds up falling off a cliff. Then getting crushed by a log. Then falling into the river. Then falling off a waterfall. Okay, I'll admit that was kind of funny too.

Party Juju and his hideous wife head home, and Tak takes a nap. Also, the Chief is still incredibly fat from all that party food he ate. So fat, in fact, that the earth opens up and swallows him whole. Fin.

What's the Verdict?

Honestly, I can see why this show didn't catch on. Every so often there's a joke that's at least sort of funny, but most of the time they just fall flat. The animation is pretty bad, even for 2007. Between the ugly character designs and the lack of textures, it's not very appealing to look at. The characters? Meh. Most of them can be summed up as "they're massive idiots". As I've said before, characters being massive idiots CAN be funny - SpongeBob and Patrick are idiots, and they're a lot of fun. Maybe had the writing been better, Tak's stupidity would've made him a more appealing character, but as is he's just kind of obnoxious and uninteresting. Jeera was okay, though. I still think the show would've been better off if it had just focused on her. As for the voice acting, Hal Sparks isn't doing much for me as the voice of Tak, Kari Wahlgren and Maurice LaMarche try their best but are bogged down by an awful script, and even Rob Paulsen and Patrick Warburton are basically wasted as the annoying Party Juju and a character who I didn't even bother to bring up because he only appears in one of the episodes I watched and doesn't do anything that's funny or relevant to the plot.

As a whole, Tak and the Power of Juju was an interesting experiment, but it's definitely not one of Nickelodeon's better shows. It's something that just existed and promptly failed because it had nothing going for it. As far as 2000s Nicktoons go, you'd be far better off watching something like Catscratch or The Penguins of Madagascar.

Further reading:
- Nothing But Cartoons' (much funnier) review of another episode of the show, in which Tak is tormented by a floating brain with eyes and then nearly eaten by a gigantic snake with horns. Yes, it's just as strange as it sounds.

And now, because I can't think of a funny joke to end the review on, here's a teaser for next week's review:

Don't know who these two are? Well, you'll have to find out next time. Sorry.