Let's Watch This: "Scared Shrekless" (2010)

Can you believe that it's been more than twenty years since the first Shrek was released?

I've already talked about the big green ogre a few times on my blog before. There once was a time when this franchise ruled the world. You couldn't go into a toy store without seeing Shrek merchandise. If it was 2004 or 2007, it'd be difficult not to find at least one thing in your local A&P that didn't have him or Donkey on the packaging. Trailers for upcoming DreamWorks movies like Shark Tale and Madagascar would proudly boast that they were from the same studio that brought you Shrek.

And then Shrek the Third came out. And... well, I'll let some quotes from critics sum it up for me...

"The film has little new to offer and the trailers show most of the funny moments." - Scott Chitwood of comingsoon.net

"Shrek the Third isn't awful, but it's bland, with a barrel-scraping averageness." - Peter Bradshaw

"What's lacking is that intangible sense of fun, of inventiveness, of ingenuity, that made the first Shrek something you ran to your friends, grabbed them by the arms and told them they simply HAD to see." - Steven Snyder

I haven't actually seen Shrek the Third in full myself, nor do I want to, but it was enough to get DreamWorks to decide not to make five Shrek movies as they'd initially planned. Instead, they just made FOUR Shrek movies. And a spin-off movie starring Puss in Boots. And a few holiday specials.

And by "a few", I mean "two", because I suppose a Shrek Thanksgiving special or a Shrek Fourth of July special would be really, really stupid. The first of these, 2007's Shrek the Halls, is the more well-known of the two, and still usually gets aired once at some point during each Christmas season. 2010's Scared Shrekless, on the other hand?

I don't know how many times this has been broadcast over the years, but it certainly doesn't air EVERY October. You can, however, find it on Netflix, where it's bundled with Shrek 4D (yes, the ride that was at Universal Studios and a bunch of other theme parks... and released on DVD) and the Monsters vs. Aliens Halloween special (note to self: review Monsters vs. Aliens at some point) as "DreamWorks Spooky Stories".  You can also find it on DVD. Directed by Gary Trousdale and Raman Hui, the special is at this point a footnote in the franchise's history, but I remember liking it well enough.

So, seeing as it's the only Shrek production obscure enough to qualify for a review on my blog - and also because it's the Halloween season - let's take a look at Scared Shrekless... which admittedly isn't nearly as good a pun as "Shrek the Halls". Though apparently they were originally going to call it "Shrek or Treat"...

We begin with a bunch of terrified teenagers running from... Shrek and Fiona's babies. Yes, apparently the movie where they debuted was so bad that just seeing the babies is enough to make people wet their pants. Or maybe they're just reminded of that nightmare Shrek had in the third film about the millions of ogre babies running rampant.

Shrek (voiced once again by Mike Myers) shows up and congratulates the babies on doing such a great job terrifying the teens. He and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) bring their kids back to their house to discover all of their friends waiting for them... Donkey (voiced not by Eddie Murphy but rather by Dean Edwards) is dressed as a jester, Gingy (Conrad Vernon) is dressed as a mummy, the Three Little Pigs (Cody Cameron) are dressed as clowns (making them the scariest thing in the whole special so far), the Wolf (Aron Warner) is dressed as a witch, and Pinocchio (also Cody Cameron) is... pretending to hang himself. Jeez, Pinoke, even for Halloween that's pretty dark...

If Donkey really wanted to scare Shrek, he should've just an ogre baby mask.

(For those unaware, that's another reference to the creepy nightmare scene in Shrek the Third)

Fiona insists that ogres don't get scared. After all, THEY'RE the ones who do the scaring. "And that's why we're the kings of Halloween," Shrek adds. I think Jack Skellington might object to that claim, Shrek. But Donkey and Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) have an idea - they'll spend the whole night telling scary stories, and whoever makes it through the night without running out of the house screaming is named the King of Halloween. Everyone is all on board with that.

I think the Three Little Pigs already win. Put clown makeup on 'em and they're far
scarier than Shrek.

Fiona takes the kids out to scare some more trick-or-treaters, and then Shrek suggests that they do their scary story-telling not at his house, but rather in Duloc. Remember Duloc? This is the first time since the first movie that it's been brought up. Apparently, after Lord Farquaad got eaten by Dragon, it became a ghost town.

I notice that everyone took off their costumes before they arrived at Duloc. Well, the Wolf still has his witch's hat on, but that's about it. I wonder why that is...

"I thought Duloc was bought out by the Walt Disney Company and turned into a
theme park."

"Nah, they just sent Farquaad a cease-and-desist letter..."

Pinocchio brings up that he's heard Duloc is haunted by Farquaad's ghost - perhaps a reference to the aforementioned Shrek 4D? If so, wasn't Farquaad's ghost extinguished or whatever at the end? Does Pinocchio just not know this? But nobody is willing to forfeit, so in they go. Donkey makes a reference to House of Wax, because it wouldn't be a Shrek production without some pop culture references, and then Shrek notices the Information Booth from the first film that was a parody of "it's a small world". It's more or less the same, except it's in desperate need of repair and the dolls now sing about how run-down and creepy Duloc is. Was it reprogrammed? Or are the dolls actually sentient?

I prefer the second option. It makes the scene that much funnier (in a "this really shouldn't be as funny as it is" kind of way).

"Please end our suffering."

So everyone gathers in Farquaad's castle, and Pinocchio wants to tell the first story. Wolf correctly guesses that it's about how one time he got trapped in a petting zoo.

...okay, I'm going to need more information. Why would Pinocchio consider that scary? What exactly could any of the animals that live at a petting zoo do to somebody who's made of wood? What, did a goat try to eat him? Was it a BEAVER petting zoo or something like that?

Well, we don't get any more info, because Gingy interrupts to say that HE has a story for them all...

Gee, I wonder what horror movie THIS is going to be a parody of...

Gingy's story begins with him paying a visit to the Muffin Man in a glum mood. Apparently, his girlfriend kicked him out... something about being "too into himself". I guess being the mascot of Wal-Mart went to Gingy's head. Fortunately, the Muffin Man (Conrad Vernon) can bake him a NEW cookie girlfriend... you think this is going to be the same girlfriend who got eaten by Santa Claus in Shrek the Halls? That would be an interesting call-back.

Food (no pun intended) for thought: Gingy was made by the Muffin Man, wasn't he?
If the Muffin Man makes a gingerbread girl, wouldn't she technically be Gingy's sister?

So they get cooking, and Gingy insists that they add a lot of sugar to make sure this gingerbread girl is extra sweet (ba-dum-kssssh). After some Frankenstein references, the gingerbread girl is baked and brought to life. And she has the voice of Kristen Schaal.

The gingerbread girl declares that she and Gingy will be together forever. Montage time!

I wonder how they're drinking that, since, y'know, they don't have digestive tracts.

Or do they? I don't know much about gingerbread person anatomy...

Gingy is very happy... until his girlfriend starts getting a bit too smothering. So instead of simply asking her in the nicest way possible to be a bit less clingy, he decides to impatiently ask her to "leave him alone for like thirty seconds". Jeez, Gingy, no need to get so snappy with her. You're gingerbread, not a ginger SNAP.

The gingerbread girl still doesn't quite get the hint, so Gingy decides to make a run for it. Alas, his girlfriend catches up with him and laments that she wasn't trying hard enough to make him happy. One thing leads to another, and Gingy winds up kicking her into a mixing bowl.

Dang. Gingy has a body count.

"When you get to some gluttonous kid's stomach, tell 'em that Gingy sent you!"

Gingy returns home, surprisingly nonchalant about the fact that he just committed homicide... and I like the detail of his remote control being a PEZ (the candy, not the dispenser). Unbeknownst to him, the mixture that his girlfriend fell into is being baked...

The result: an army of gingerbread girls marching towards his house like zombies, chanting "Together forever. Together forever..." Here's hoping Gingy is into this sort of relationship.

"Where the heck is Cookie Monster when you need him?!"

Gingy claims that the zombies ate him, which sends the Three Little Pigs running out of the castle going "Wee, wee, wee!". The wolf walks out after them because they're his ride. Shrek, of course, sees through Gingy's lie and asks how, if they ate him, he is still there. Realizing that he's been caught with his hand in the metaphorical cookie jar (these jokes just write themselves), Gingy runs out of the castle. And just to make the scene even funnier, as he's leaving he calls them "Doody-heads".

Now only Shrek, Donkey, Puss, and Pinocchio remain. Puss wants to tell the next story, but Donkey butts in and begins to tell a story of his own...

So, let me guess... this one is based on Jaws, right?

Donkey's story, much like Gingy's, takes place on a dark and stormy night. He and Puss need to find a place to say. Fortunately, there's a nearby motel that looks like a giant boot. I assume the caretaker is a little old woman who has so many children she doesn't know what to do.

An already-annoyed Puss is irritated by Donkey's repeatedly referring to him as his "sidekick", but Donkey won't let him get a word in edgewise. Instead, he subjects him to Psycho references.

Jeez, Donkey...

Donkey claims that the caretaker murdered Puss, but Puss objects - clearly he was well aware of the approaching danger and grabbed his sword before the caretaker could do anything... but then Donkey showed up and saved him!

And guess what?! The caretaker is actually Prince Charming (voiced not by Rupert Everett but rather by Sean Bishop) in disguise! He's packing heat, and he wants revenge! "I want revenge!" he declares.

He's really mad that he wasn't invited back to appear in Shrek Forever After.

Prince Charming zaps Puss with a magic wand, but Puss is all "No way, that wouldn't happen!" and claims that he repelled the attack and leapt to safety... which, according to Donkey, is exactly what Prince Charming WANTED him to do!

PLOT TWIST!

Charming laughs, just like a crazed maniac... by which I mean he says "Ha ha ha ha HAAAAAAAA!", and then pulls a lever that sends Puss falling down the trapdoor and through the mouth of a gigantic creepy-looking plywood cutout. Makes sense to me, I don't know why YOU'RE confused.

However, Puss complains that this is incredibly unrealistic.

Is that supposed to be a likeness of Prince Charming? It doesn't LOOK like him...

Instead, according to Puss, he woke up. It was all just a dream. Also his bed was on the ceiling.

It's a good thing cats always land on their feet... oh, wait, that was just a rumor spread by dogs.

And then the lights go out. Puss seizes the opportunity to turn the tables on Donkey - when the lights come back on, DONKEY is the one taking a shower, leading to quite possibly the best part of the entire special. Are you ready for this? Okay...

Donkey pulls back the curtain and screams upon seeing the danger approaching. It's a gigantic donkey-eating waffle! It's packing heat and it wants revenge! "I WANT REVENGE!" it declares.

"LEGGO MY EGGO!"

Donkey runs... but how far can you run when you're standing on a plate covered in butter? And wearing a pink tutu? And a sombrero? "NOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE, PLEASE! I'LL SWITCH TO PANCAKES!" Donkey exclaims as the donkey-eating waffle eats him alive.

I declare Puss the winner just for giving us this alone.

But Donkey gets the last laugh by having Pinocchio spray Puss with water, sending the cat running out of the castle. After that, we cut back to Shrek's house, where the Three Blind Mice are walking on a turntable unaware that they aren't in Duloc. Aw, no scary story about them? Surely you can do something with the farmer's wife as the villain. I mean, she cut off their tails with a carving knife. She clearly had some issues...

Well, anyhow, Shrek decides to tell a story himself. I don't think anything could top the gigantic donkey-eating waffle, but let's see what he's got...

And THIS one surely must be a parody of Friday the Thirteenth, right?

According to Shrek, some weird things were going on to a little boy who lived nearby, so Shrek decided to pay the boy a visit and see if he could get to the root of the problem. Since Geppetto (Sean Bishop) is the boy's father, it should be pretty obvious who that little boy is...

This segment allows us to finally get something that the previous two Shrek productions have lacked - Disney references! Seriously, for a franchise that exists mainly so Jeffrey Katzenberg could have an excuse to vent his frustrations towards Disney, I don't think there were ANY Disney references in Shrek the Halls. I guess it's because Disney doesn't have a whole lot of iconic Christmas-themed movies. Here, not only does Geppetto's house look very similar to his house in the Disney adaptation of Pinocchio, but there's a cat who bears a striking resemblance to Figaro snacking on a goldfish very much like Cleo.

"Figaro looked at Cleo, with hunger in his eye...

Then gobbled her up. The end."

Shrek heads upstairs to find Pinocchio having a spazz attack. His head spins around - Shrek dubbing this the result of his head not being screwed on just right - and then he says, "When you wish upon a star, you get lots of stuff!"

Wow, they're not even TRYING to be subtle with the Disney references anymore. How long until a mouse with red shorts and his own theme park shows up?

Pinocchio kicks Shrek in the face multiple times, then falls asleep. That was remarkably easy, wasn't it? Oh, wait, he's lifting off the bed...

I hear alien abductions are a big problem in Far Far Away.

Shrek turns around, discovers that Pinocchio is being lifted up by strings ('cause he's a puppet, get it?) and takes out a pair of scissors. "You never have this problem with sock puppets..." he mutters as he cuts the strings. So what's Pinocchio's problem? He hears voices in his head telling him what to do. And right now, they're telling him to barf on Shrek!

How exactly is a puppet capable of barfing? I was expecting them to make a joke about how the "barf" is actually tree sap or maple syrup 'cause he's made from the wood of a maple tree or something, but nope. It's never specified just what, exactly, Pinocchio just spewed on Shrek.

Shrek should've never taken Pinocchio to eat at Arby's.

Pinocchio spazzes out again, crawling around on the ceiling and reciting expressions about birds... not sure what birds have to do with Pinocchio, but eh... and eventually Shrek gets fed up and punts him out the window. He falls down a large flight of stairs, and upon landing he discovers just what, exactly, was causing him to go crazy. Turns out, there was a Jiminy Cricket parody in his head.

Well, that explains it. ANYONE would go crazy if there was a bug crawling around in their head.

"Could you help me find my way onto the set of Antz?"

The cricket explains that he's Pinocchio's conscience, and he was the one telling him to do things like barf on Shrek and climb on the ceiling. Of course, Pinocchio winds up stepping on the cricket because that's the go-to joke for most Pinocchio parodies - the cricket gets squashed, stepped on, or swatted in a humorous fashion. Even the Shrek Broadway musical had a joke about Pinocchio's conscience getting splattered on a windshield in it. Mind you, the original book did have Pinocchio smash the cricket with a hammer, so it's not even that clever of a joke.

Pinocchio claims that the story is a load of ogre poop and that he never had any bugs in his head. But then Shrek takes out a cricket and he runs out of the castle screaming.

"I told you we shouldn't have watched Geppetto."

So now it's down to just Shrek and Donkey. Donkey insists that Shrek can't scare him, to which Shrek brings up the rumors of Farquaad's ghost supposedly haunting his old stomping grounds... Donkey claims that he doesn't believe in ghosts, which is weird because he actually encountered Farquaad's ghost in Shrek 4D... I suppose that it's best we just don't think about it too much...

But then strange things start going on. Chairs move around on their own. A carving of Farquaad's face suddenly gains an angry look. And then a suit of armor becomes possessed by a spirit with glowing yellow eyes. Zoinks! It's Farquaad's ghost!

And it doesn't look anything like Farquaad's ghost from Shrek 4D!

Donkey flees, and of course it turns out that there is no ghost - the suit of armor was controlled by the ogre babies, with some help from Fiona and a pair of fireflies. After celebrating their success, they go pelt the Seven Dwarfs with eggs. The end.

What's the Verdict?

I personally like Scared Shrekless. Ogres and fairy tale characters just lend themselves really well to a Halloween special, and when you combine that with some hilarious writing, you've got a fun time on your hands. This special is genuinely funny - I particularly loved Prince Charming's cameo, the donkey-eating waffle, and the Disney references (which I found weren't too mean-spirited - more "let's make jokes about a far more iconic version of Pinocchio" than "let's make fun of Disney because Katzenberg is still holding a grudge"). It's neat that they brought Duloc back, and I have to give a lot of credit to Dean Edwards, whose Eddie Murphy impression is spot-on. It is kind of disappointing we don't get to hear how Pinocchio (maybe his story could've been about Pleasure Island), the Wolf, or the Three Little Pigs would tell a scary story... but I guess that would've dragged the special out a little. I recommend giving Scared Shrekless a watch if you're a fan of the movies... or at least the first two.

One more thing... I have some more Halloween special ideas for DreamWorks. How about a Madagascar Halloween special called "MadagaSCARE"? I dunno, could work. Or an Over the Hedge Halloween special where the animals raid candy from trick-or-treaters? That movie is really underrated.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Bunnicula"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

Are you familiar with a 1979 novel called Bunnicula?

It's a personal favorite of mine. It focuses on a family whose cat and dog become convinced that their new pet rabbit is a vampire. Is he a vampire? Isn't he? The book doesn't make it clear.

Since its release, the book has spawned several sequels, but only the first one has ever been adapted into animation. Twice, in fact. The first time was a television special that aired as part of the ABC Weekend Special anthology series. It deviated from the book a little - namely, straight-up revealing that Bunnicula is a vampire and having a more exciting climax involving wolves. The second time was a 2016 TV series.

The Bunnicula TV series was developed for Warner Bros. Animation by Jessica Borutski, who also produced the show along with Maxwell Atoms. The show premiered on both Cartoon Network and Boomerang in February 2016, then moved to Boomerang entirely in 2017. After three seasons, the show concluded in 2018, but reruns continued to air on Boomerang until 2021. If you'd like to watch it yourself, you either need the Boomerang streaming app or must pay to watch it on YouTube.

The show is a loose adaptation of the books. Y'know how I said the television special deviated from the books? Well, this time you could probably count the number of similarities on one hand: a vampire rabbit who drinks the juice from vegetables instead of blood, a cat named Chester, and a dog named Harold. Aside from that...

- Much like the television special, it's straight-up confirmed that Bunnicula is a vampire.

- Chester was a tabby cat in the original book. Here, he's a Siamese (maybe they thought making him a tabby cat was "too cliched" or something?).

- In the books, the pets' owners were Mr. Monroe, Mrs. Monroe, and their two sons. Here, the sons are replaced by a daughter, Mina.

- Harold was at least of average intelligence in the book. Here, he's an idiot.

I'll be honest, these deviations all bothered me when the show came out, which is the main reason I never watched a full episode of the show despite liking the book. But I know just because an adaptation isn't exactly like the original book doesn't mean it's bad... I mean, Disney's adaptation of The Jungle Book had very little in common with the books but I still like THAT. So in the interest of fairness, I probably should give the show a watch to see if I enjoy it on its own merits.

I like the design they gave Bunnicula, so that's one good thing I can say about it.

We'll be watching the thirteenth episode, "Bride of Bunnicula", to see if Bunnicula is a fun show that just so happens to be a weak adaptation of a book I like... or another Scaredy Squirrel. Let's hop in (get it? 'Cause the show's about a rabbit?).

The episode starts off with Bunnicula (voiced by Chris Kattan), Chester (Sean Astin), and Harold (Brian Kimmet) looking for a squeaky toy of Harold's. And already I find myself reminded of just how much the show butchered Harold. He's basically just Runt from Animaniacs now. Why? Did they think making him dumber would make him a more interesting character?

And, I'm sorry, but with all due respect towards Sean Astin, the voice they gave Chester just doesn't fit that character design. It's not a voice that sounds like it would come out of a scrawny Siamese cat, it just sounds like some guy off the street. Surely Sean could've done something cartoonier or at least higher-pitched for the character (it's not like he can't do voices, he CAN), so I'm guessing this is on the voice direction he was given.

Okay, okay. I'll try not to be too negative here...

Allow me to summarize everything that comes out of Harold's mouth: "Duh, I'm a stereotypical
dumb cartoon dog! I make Odie from Garfield look like Mr. Peabody from the Rocky and Bullwinkle
show by comparison! Durr-hurr!"

The pets head into the kitchen to see if Mina (Kari Wahlgren) has the toy. What's Mina doing in the kitchen? Doing her best impression of a cartoon mad scientist. She's created a little Frankenstein's Monster wannabe out of vegetables for her school science project, and she thinks that with a little static electricity from Chester's fur, she can bring it to life. Clearly Mina is a few croutons short of a salad bar.

How convenient that Mina was able to find four radishes with fingers growing out of them.

Of course, since Bunnicula loves vegetables, he winds up attempting to drink the juice out of the vegetable monster thing's onion head. But that static electricity does its thing - and brings the vegetable monster thing to life.

Totally how static electricity works, right?

All together now... "IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"

Chester is understandably freaked out by the fact that a being made of an onion, turnips and what looks like some kind of squash has gained sentience. Usually, when your vegetables gain sentience, that's a sign that you should throw them out. Or create a children's show about Christian values. But when Bunnicula gets a good look at the vegetable monster thing, he falls madly in love with it. I knew he loved vegetables, but this is ridiculous.

Meh, still a better love story than Bee Movie.

Chester points out to Harold how weird and wrong this whole situation is. "Oh, you can't put a label on it, Chester," Harold claims. "Love. It's like a rubber newspaper chew toy... beautiful, and hard to find. And when you find it, you never let it go. Or lose it again! BUNNICULA HAS FOUND HIS RUBBER NEWSPAPER TOY!"

Did I mention how annoying Harold's voice is? Again, no disrespect towards Brian Kimmet, but it gets so incredibly grating...

Why do I have the feeling that I'm going to be really sympathetic towards Chester?

We get a montage of Bunnicula and his new girlfriend spending time together while Chester looks weirded-out. Eventually, however, Chester learns that Bunnicula's girlfriend is very possessive of him. "STAY AWAY FROM MY BUNNICULA! HE BELONGS TO ME NOW!" she snaps as soon as he's out of hearing range.

Again, this is why you should throw your vegetables out after they gain sentience.

"You just don't understand our love!"

Chester tells Harold about Bunnicula's girlfriend being a psychotic monster, but unsurprisingly, Harold is no help whatsoever. But wouldn't you know it, Bunnicula's girlfriend... y'know what, I'm just gonna call her Onion-Head... has a secretly sinister agenda, and Bunnicula is under her evil love trance. She's planning to harvest Bunnicula's supernatural powers to create an army of vegetable Franken-zombie mutants and do Harold and Chester in so she can have Bunnicula all to herself. And as we see this going on, we hear Harold and Chester talking about how it's not like any of that could possibly happen.

Okay, positive thing - I'll admit this part is pretty funny, if only for Chester's claim that their lives are like some sort of bad horror movie.

Little do Harold and Chester know that Mina's dad has secretly been keeping uranium
in the storage shed.

Harold and Chester notice that the storm shed is glowing and head inside to find Onion-Head with her army of vegetable Franken-zombie mutants. Only Bunnicula can save them now, and he's under Onion-Head's spell, so that might not work out so well...

Where's the Were-Rabbit when you really need him?

On the bright side, Harold has finally found his squeaky toy. Chester tells him that he needs to throw the squeaky toy at Bunnicula to get his attention, but Harold is all "No! Getting torn apart by eggplant is a small price to pay for having my squeaky toy back!" because, as we've established, he's an idiot.

Blah blah blah, Chester throws the squeaky toy at Bunnicula's head, snapping him out of Onion-Head's trance. He saves his friends from the zombie veggies, and after taking them out with weed killer, Onion-Head starts chewing him out for ruining her evil plan. Did she really need to bring a bunch of produce to life just to take out Chester and Harold? Couldn't she have just shipped them off to Abu Dhabi or something?

"No, no, I wasn't looking at pictures of Lola Bunny online! I only have eyes for you,
Onion-Head!"

"DON'T YOU LIE TO ME! I checked your browser history!"

"YOUR FACE IS DUMB! AND YOU'RE BAD AT KISSING!" Onion-Head tells Bunnicula. "I'M GOING TO DATE A MILLIONAIRE!" Then she runs out of the storage shed and into the night. We get another joke about how dumb Harold is. Mina, meanwhile, has decided to do a model volcano for her science project... and by "model volcano", I mean something that I'm pretty sure is offensive to the entire state of Hawaii.

Apologies to Hawaiians everywhere.

And I'm guessing we never find out whatever happened to the rabbit-faced vegetable monster running around. Maybe she was found and captured by scientists, at which point Mina became a Nobel Prize winner for making such a huge scientific breakthrough by bringing a being made of produce to life. Or maybe Onion-Head DID date a millionaire. Is Bill Gates still single?

What's the Verdict?

I'm sorry. I went into the show with an open mind, but... honestly, I didn't care much for this adaptation of Bunnicula. Let me start off by saying what I did like... the animation is good, and some of the jokes are at least kind of funny. But so much of the show falls flat. And that's on two things: the humor and the characters. For every joke that landed, there was another joke that fell flat. Most of them basically amount to "Ha ha, Harold is dumb."

The characters, aside from Bunnicula, are completely backwards. The original Harold wasn't a rocket science, but he wasn't a complete moron. Making him a non-anthropomorphic Dudley Puppy doesn't make him a more complex character, it just makes him obnoxious. Chester was fun in the book because he was the panicky, over-imaginative one who leads Harold in all of these half-baked plans. Here, he's the sane one reacting to the weirdness around him. It just feels wrong, and the weak voice acting from Brian Kimmet and a poorly-directed Sean Astin doesn't help. As for Mina, I just found her annoying.

And just to make sure I didn't stumble upon one of the weaker episodes, I watched the episode that came right after this one. It was about Bunnicula and Chester going into the internet to stop a raven who feeds on the negativity that it creates. It was slightly better than "Bride of Bunnicula", but still suffered from most of the same problems (Harold being annoying, some really weak jokes). I was also disappointed that there wasn't more satire about the internet, considering how much negativity it DOES create (there's a reason I just deleted my Twitter account AGAIN). Ah well...

My advice? Just read the original Bunnicula book. You can find the TV special on YouTube if you'd like to watch an animated adaptation of it. The show really doesn't have much going for it.

Apologies for this being a shorter review than usual, the episode is mostly made up of that "Bunnicula's in love" montage so there wasn't a whole lot to talk about. My next review will hopefully be longer (and a lot more positive)...

Let's Watch This: "The Scrabble People in A Pumpkin Full of Nonsense" (1985)

I know what you're thinking: how did I find out about this special's existence? Well, you see, I was trying to find some obscure animated Halloween specials, of which there are not many. And I found a list of obscure animated Halloween specials. Featured on that list was this special. And when the list mentioned that it was based on the board game Scrabble, I knew I had to review it just for curiosity's sake.

I mean, how do you make a television special out of SCRABBLE? I could understand making a movie out of something like Candyland, since that game has an interesting environment and characters. Scrabble doesn't have either of those things. It doesn't even have an environment or characters at all! It's just making words out of tiles with letters stamped on 'em. That's it. What could you do, have the entire special just be about two schmucks sitting at a table playing the game? It's like trying to make a movie adaptation of Jenga or something like that.

But, regardless, this special is a thing that exists. It was produced by Argentina-based animation company Jaime Diaz Studios and Arce Productions, financed by U.S. board game manufacturer Selchow and Righter (who at the time owned the rights to Scrabble) and originally aired on October 31st, 1985. After that it was released on VHS through Vestron Video's "Children's Video Library" label.

This special answers the question that has haunted the minds of human beings for decades - IS IT POSSIBLE TO MAKE A TELEVISION SPECIAL BASED ON SCRABBLE? This is The Scrabble People in A Pumpkin Full of Nonsense!

We start off, fittingly enough, in a pumpkin patch. It's here that we meet our main characters, a dude named Mr. Scrabble (voiced by Kevin Slattery, according to Wikipedia) and two kids named Tad and Terry (both voiced by Brianne Sidall). You'll notice that while the kids are dressed in Halloween costumes, Mr. Scrabble is not - unless the blue coat + white pants + bits of red here and there combo is supposed to be a makeshift Cooler from Pound Puppies costume.

He also kind of sounds like Fred from Scooby-Doo.

Mr. Scrabble declares that whoever finds the biggest pumpkin wins. Upon finding a mighty big one, Terry declares herself the winner... kind of quick on the draw there, seeing as in a pumpkin patch there's likely to be at least one other pumpkin just as big, but eh... and Mr. Scrabble tells her what her prize for winning is: getting to go to a Halloween party with him!

...that's it? That's the prize? Not a million dollars or a sports car or at least some candy?

"I was really hoping for a sports car..."

Terry agrees with me and points out that this is a stupid prize, especially since they were already going to the Halloween party with him before visiting the pumpkin patch. Not that it really matters, because apparently she DIDN'T find the biggest pumpkin after all - the entire patch sits atop a pumpkin the size of a house! What a twist!

Also, Tad reminds me of IQ from the Wacky Races reboot.

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater and his wife sure are gonna be surprised to find a guy and
two kids standing on the roof of their house...

Mr. Scrabble declares that they must tell others about this gigantic pumpkin. Scientists will be very interested in it. Or, if nothing else, they could always make the world's biggest pumpkin pie. But then Terry falls into the pumpkin (she was standing on a soft spot) and Tad and Mr. Scrabble have to climb in after her. And as a result, they discover that this is no ORDINARY giant pumpkin, no, no - it's actually a portal to a medieval kingdom!

So, yeah. Gigantic pumpkins, medieval kingdoms, and a guy dressed like Cooler from Pound Puppies. That's totally what we think of when we play Scrabble, right?

"It's just your average ordinary town inside a gigantic pumpkin," Mr. Scrabble says as he and the kids venture into the town. Tad and Terry point out that all the townspeople are in a glum mood. Considering what a depressing place the world has become since 2019, can you blame them?

To make things even more confusing, all of the signs are incomprehensible. They don't have actual words on them, just random jumbles of letters. For example, the stop sign has "PTS" written on it. Terry deduces that the letters of the signs are all mixed-up. "Or missing!" Tad adds.

They learn from a nearby kid that nobody in town even knows what letters are. Nor do they have any idea what "reading" and "writing" are. They're not allowed to put letters together, thus is the law of the ruler of this strange land... which, as it turns out, is called "Nonsense".

Is it just me, or does that guy in the back look like the Pringles mascot?

Then we get a brief musical number about how nothing in Nonsense makes sense (natch) and then these creatures called the Scramblers show up to cause trouble. What are the Scramblers? Well, they're these pinkish-purple bat-winged roller skate-wearing monkeys who swoop down and snatch up people while sporting evil toothy grins on their faces. Absolutely nothing that I just said makes any sense. Fitting for a place called "Nonsense"...

I guess Nonsense must be part of Oz if there are flying monkeys around.

The bat-winged monkeys take Mr. Scrabble, Tad, Terry, and the townsfolk to the castle of their ruler, an creepy dude with a black beard known as the Muddler (George Atkins).

His little troll buddy there is apparently going as Dopey for Halloween.

And his daughter Rotunda (Kathy Hart Freeman), who looks like a younger version of the Queen of Hearts.

Well, I guess now we know where she got her tyrannical side from...

As his name suggests, the Muddler's main schtick is that he thinks coherent words = bad and random jumbles of letters = good. He throws the kid in the dungeon for two years and Mr. Scrabble is all "You can't do that!". His protests eventually wind up causing the Muddler to declare that he will be forced to "back-pedal bubbling bouillon". Also, Rotunda is attracted to him. I don't know what would be a worse fate, having to "back-pedal bubbling bouillon" or being married to HER.

Mr. Scrabble, Tad, and Terry make a run for it, eventually managing to evade the Scramblers by hiding out in an abandoned library. It's here that they meet a woman named Lexa (ain't THAT a weird name?), the only person in Nonsense that can read.

I wonder if Tad and Terry's parents are starting to regret trusting Mr. Scrabble with their kids.

Lexa (Melissa Freeman) shows Mr. Scrabble, Tad, and Terry that without coherent words on the signs, the shopkeepers aren't having much in the way of customers, young people are bored because without reading they can't come up with ideas, and people in love can't write each other love notes (and even if they could, they wouldn't be able to read them). "We've got to rescue these people!" Mr. Scrabble declares. "We've got to free them! And the first word they're going to learn is 'FREE'!"

Alas, then the Scramblers show up.

"Take your stinkin' paws off me, you darn dirty apes!"

Lexa, Tad, and Terry escape, but Mr. Scrabble is abducted and taken back to the castle. "You're the worst person in the world!" he tells the Muddler. And considering that Donald Trump and Amber Heard exist, that's saying a LOT. The Muddler admits to Mr. Scrabble that he can read and write, and the reason he doesn't let anybody else learn how is because he wants to be better than everybody else. If they learn how to read and write, eventually they'll know more than him and they'll call him "stupid". Yes, the Muddler's motivation is that he doesn't want to be dumber than everybody else.

How did this guy wind up in charge, anyway? I'm curious...

"And they actually said I 'wasn't threatening enough' to be the villain of The Smurfs! Can you
believe that?!"

After that, the Muddler subjects Mr. Scrabble to a horrible fate - being Rotunda's husband. Even worse, he has to listen to her SING. Thankfully, the song is short.

Meh, still a better love story than... actually, y'know what? This is an even WORSE love story
than Bee Movie. I can't believe I just said that.

Mr. Scrabble gets locked in a jail cell filled with pin-up posters of Rotunda (don't worry, I'll spare you the screencap). Fortunately, Lexa shows up disguised as a guard... but admits that she, Tad, and Terry have no idea how to get him out. Mr. Scrabble tells her that they have to get the people of Nonsense "to make sense". So the three of them get to work un-scrambling the signs. Soon all the Cabbage Patch Kids in town are remembering what letters are.

I think these characters were actually designed by the same folks who designed the Cabbage
Patch Kids, which explains why they look so similar.

The rejected Peanuts characters are inspired to use the letters on their shirts to spell out words. This is as close a connection to how you actually play Scrabble that we're going to get.

You know, if it was really this easy to un-scramble the signs and convince the people of Nonsense
that reading is awesome, why didn't they just do this before?

Anyhow, everyone sings the alphabet song and they all head to the library. Lexa declares that from now on, the town will be called "Make-Sense" as opposed to "Nonsense". But wait, there's still the whole "Mr. Scrabble is being forced to marry Rotunda" problem that they have to solve. Believe it or not, this is where the special gets VIOLENT.

The kids of Nonsense... I'm sorry, "Make-Sense"... have discovered another great use
for books.

They take down the Scramblers with remarkable ease, and Lexa announces that from now on Mr. Scrabble will be known as SIR Scrabble.

Then Sir Scrabble tells Rotunda that if she learns to read and stops being so obnoxious, eventually she'll find somebody. The townsfolk start handing her books that will help her improve her personality. I love how one girl gives her a DIET BOOK. And I also love how one boy says, "And if you read THIS ONE, you won't be such a pumpkinhead!" Dang, they're essentially roasting her.

Any chance you have a few copies of that book? I know a lot of people online who should
learn not to be such a pumpkinhead...

Sir Scrabble, Tad, and Terry remember that they have a Halloween party to go to and escape back to their world, accompanied by Lexa. And then the special just kind of... STOPS. Uh, okay then...

What's the Verdict?

Okay, let's start by saying that this really has nothing to do with the Scrabble board game. You could name Mr. Scrabble something else and the special would for all intents and purposes be the same. It's not much of a Halloween special either, for a good chunk of it they never even MENTION Halloween. But as a special in of itself? Honestly, it wasn't that bad. It delivers the "reading is something you should do" moral pretty well without getting too heavy-handed about it, the characters are kind of bland but likeable enough, and the voice actors do a good job. If you want your kids to put down their tablets or whatever it is that they're using these days and read a book, show 'em this. If you can find it, I mean. It's on YouTube, but I'm guessing the VHSes are out of print and I doubt it ever got a DVD release...

It's probably for the best we haven't gotten more television specials based on board games. Although now that I think about it, I kind of like the idea of a Hungry Hungry Hippos Thanksgiving special...