Let's Watch This: "Surf's Up 2: WaveMania" (2016)

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the movie I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

For all the (honestly undeserved in my opinion) crap that Sony Pictures Animation has received over the years, I will be the first to say that not all of their output is bad. Sure, they've had some stinkers (I haven't seen The Emoji Movie and I think I'll keep it that way), but they've also proven themselves perfectly capable of making good movies. Case in point, their 2007 release Surf's Up.

This film wound up underperforming at the box office because people were getting really tired of movies about penguins (March of the Penguins and Happy Feet were both released before it, as was Madagascar with its wacky comic relief penguins) and rolled their eyes at the thought of a movie where the premise was "penguins on surfboards". But it did receive mainly positive reviews from critics and has since gained a bit of a cult following. It even got nominated for an Academy Award for Best Animated Feature (which Ratatouille wound up winning). That's more than you can say for some of the other animated films released in 2007, such as Bee Movie or Shrek the Third - or heck, even The Simpsons Movie!

As for me, it's been a while since I've actually seen Surf's Up but I personally liked it. However, despite the critical acclaim it never became one of Sony Pictures Animation's more talked-about movies... it was very quickly overshadowed by the Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs and Hotel Transylvania movies, plus those awful live action Smurfs movies that they had a hand in. Then in 2016 somebody said, "Hey, remember that movie we did with the surfing penguins? What if we did a sequel, but with professional wrestlers?". I don't know how one gets from surfing to professional wrestling. I mean, I guess they're both EXTREME SPORTS, but it's like... imagine if they did a sequel to A League of Their Own that focused on ice hockey instead of baseball. Wouldn't that be kind of weird, too?

Actually, the reason why Surf's Up 2: WaveMania exists is because WWE wanted to dip their toes into animated movies for kids. Which also resulted in animated movies where WWE wrestlers teamed up with characters from The Flintstones, Scooby-Doo, and The Jetsons. The film was directed by Henry Yu and written by Abdul Williams. Only two of the first film's voice actors came back. It was released direct to video on January 17th, 2016.

Most of the folks who've actually seen Surf's Up 2: WaveMania have dubbed it crap. I actually saw a YouTube video called "Surf's Up 2 is the Worst Sequel Ever Made". And I don't know if it is indeed the worst sequel ever made (Son of the Mask, The Neverending Story 3, and Muppets Most Wanted exist, after all), despite liking the first movie I never had any interest in checking this one out. Probably stems from the fact that I know nothing about wrestling (I literally only watched the first Scooby-Doo/WWE crossover film because I like Scooby-Doo). But now I actually AM going to watch it. Is the film as bad as everyone says? Let's find out!

The film begins with an episode of Are They Still Cool?: Surf Edition, a show on SPEN (that stands for "Sports Penguin Entertainment Network") about surfers and their whereabouts. Today, they're talking about Cody Maverick, that Shia LaBouff-voiced penguin who was set to become the best surfer ever. But, for those who haven't actually seen the first movie, Cody chose to save his pal Chicken Joe from the eeeeeeeeevil champion penguin Tank "The Shredder" Evans instead of winning the big surf competition. Chicken Joe wound up winning and has since gained great fame in the world of professional surfing, while Cody has fallen into obscurity.

I can't think of a funny comment to make about this screencap, so here's a penguin joke:
why don't you ever see penguins in Great Britain? Because they're scared of Wales. Ba-dum ksssssh.

So what has Cody, NOT voiced by Shia LaBouff but rather by Jeremy Shada, been up to since the first movie? Well, he and his love interest Lani, NOT voiced by Zooey Deschanel but rather by Melissa Strum, started his own surfing academy where he teaches other penguins how to surf. I guess it was either that or star in Kid Cuisine ads.

See, character designers of Happy Feet? You can make a penguin look feminine without
giving it a curvy figure.

Their commercial is interrupted by Tank Evans, voiced once again by Diedrich Bader, who starts hyping up his online surf institute. It's honestly kind of amusing that the Big Bad of the first movie has basically been reduced to a really abrasive business competitor.

Side note, the thing I remember the most about Tank is that in the first movie he was... really, really into his trophies. There was this whole scene where he was showing them off and acting like they were his girlfriends. I do hope that gets brought up again in this movie.

Those markings on Tank's body... are they tattoos, or just a natural part of his feathers?

Tank beats the crap out of Cody, and then we cut to that evening. Cody gets a visit from everyone's favorite character from the first movie, Chicken Joe, voiced once again by Jon Heder. As I've said before, chickens are not automatically funny, but there's something about Chicken Joe that just makes him hilarious. It probably stems from the fact that he's for all intents and purposes a stoner.

For those wondering, no, the James Woods-voiced otter doesn't appear in this movie. Sorry.

Actually, Chicken Joe is in the middle of a world tour - he's supposed to be in Madagascar right now. Heh, isn't THAT a funny mental image...

He decides to text his manager, showing us that his phone is a clam shell. Oh, I get it. It's a SHELL-phone. And then he says "Oh, wait. This is just a regular clam." and tosses it over his shoulder.

Well, five minutes in and we already have at least ONE joke that I found pretty funny. That's a good sign, right?

Chicken Joe tells Cody about how awesome his life is, and as a result Cody starts to feel inadequate. Remember how the first movie had the moral that it's not about being famous, it's about doing what you enjoy BECAUSE you enjoy it? Yeah, it would seem that Cody has forgotten that moral. This is what is known as Aesop Amnesia - a character forgets what they learned in the first movie, or a previous episode, just so they can learn it again. Y'know, like how Back at the Barnyard had Otis forget everything he learned in Barnyard so they could have him be an irresponsible moron in every single episode?

"And then I starred in a film called Animals United. It was crap."

While on his world tour, Chicken Joe got Cody a poster of the Hang 5, these five surfers who Cody has always idolized. Remember Big Z? Cody's idol from the first movie? He never shows up in this film. He's mentioned a couple times, but Cody's idolization of him isn't brought up ONCE. Now Cody has always worshipped three penguins on steroids, an otter, and a puffin who are the greatest surfers ever. Now, obviously somebody can have more than one idol, but you'd think if he was such a huge fan of these guys he would've mentioned them at some point in the first movie. And it's pretty disappointing that Big Z never appears. Maybe Jeff Bridges was just too busy to reprise his role, but surely they could've found a good soundalike...

You'd think Lani at least would bring up Big Z at one point, seeing as he's her uncle...

Oh, sorry, that was a spoiler or sorts for the first Surf's Up.

And who are the Hang 5? They're the professional WWE wrestlers who participated in the film. They're literally just playing themselves. The team's leader is Mr. McMahon, who is Vince McMahon as an otter. Triple H is a penguin named Hunter. Paige is a puffin named... Paige. The Undertaker is the Undertaker as a penguin. And John Cena is a penguin named J.C.

Okay, wait, wait. Hold on. I know I said earlier that doing a sequel to a movie about  surfing that focused on professional wrestling was weird, but... the wrestlers in this film are playing themselves, but as surfers? Huh? If the movie's not going to be about wrestling, what was the point of the WWE even being involved in the movie? It's like if the NBA did an animated film where Lebron James plays a figure skater. It just feels weird to me.

Cody tells Lani that seeing the Hang 5 surf made him who he is today. Again, he apparently forgot about Big Z. He laments that he never got to become a big professional surfer like them and Chicken Joe. Because apparently there will never, ever be another big surfing competition he could enter and win?

The next day, guess who shows up on the island where Cody lives? Why, none other than the Hang 5! Wow, what are the odds?

You can probably guess which one is the Undertaker, can't you?

Cody goes gaga over the Hang 5's presence, and then we get the most infamous part of the movie. Mr. McMahon says that "a brave fan builds his house on an ocean of milk", and when Paige points out that what he said didn't make any sense, he says, "I'm the boss. It doesn't have to. I like milk! And fish. 'Cause I'm an otter! Otters like fish. I just wish you could... milk a fish..."

We are then treated to this:

...I'm sure this seemed less dirty in the filmmakers' minds, but couldn't they have at least put the straw somewhere else?

After that bit of uncleanness, Cody invites the Hang 5 to a luau at his place. He says that the Hang 5 have done everything - they've snowboarded during an avalanche, they've been skydiving in a tornado, they've even participated in competitive speed knitting. No mention is made of them doing professional wrestling.

You might have noticed that so far, there hasn't been much of a plot... it's mainly just an excuse for everyone to fawn over these professional wrestlers in animal costumes.

Could we please NOT give the penguins pecs? It's creeping me out...

Vince McMahon Otter says after Cody offers him some coconut water that he's "going to pretend that [he's] sucking it from a fish's udder". Ew. Then he takes out a conch shell and declares that it's the key to solving one of the greatest mysteries of our time. Gasp, is that conch shell going to tell us what the greatest thing BEFORE sliced bread was?

"All hail the Magic Conch!"

The conch shell, Vince McMahon Otter claims, is a map to the greatest surfing spot on the planet - the Trenches! It's hidden on a dangerous and mysterious island known as Slaughter Island. And the Hang 5 are going to go there! Oh, and Chicken Joe farts. Classy, fellas...

Vince McMahon Otter adds that after they surf the Trenches, he's leaving the Hang 5. The others are all "No, dude! You can't do that!" but he assures them that he has a successor in mind. Cody thinks that he's talking about him, but let's be honest, we ALL know that it's going to turn out to be somebody else 'cause that's the way it usually goes in these sort of situations. My money's on Chicken Joe.

Boy, wouldn't it be a blow to Cody's self-confidence if Mr. McMahon chose somebody else?

The next day, Cody finds out that apparently it's LANI who McMahon Otter wants to join the Hang 5. "Whoa! That's awesome, Lani!" Chicken Joe exclaims. "Cody, your imaginary fans are going to be SOOOOOOOOOOO disappointed!" Ouch. When did Chicken Joe become such a jerk?

Shouldn't it be TANK who's making fun of Cody?

Lani is reluctant to join since she knows it's Cody's dream to be a member of the Hang 5, but Cody insists that she can't turn them down. And Cody's not giving up on his dream anyway - once they see his awesome surfing skillz, they're SURE to ask him to join as well!

"Eat your heart out, Opus!"

After impressing the Hang 5 with his skillz, J.C. suggests that they bring Cody along too. The Undertaker says that he wants to bring Chicken Joe... in case he gets hungry. Yes, a penguin wants to eat a chicken. Isn't that cannibalism?

Then Tank shows up with his trophies. "I hear you're looking for a champion to join your team!" he says. "So I brought my resume." McMahon says that all four of them can come - Paige will act as a mentor to Lani, J.C. will act as a mentor to Cody, the Undertaker will act as a mentor to Chicken Joe (assuming he doesn't eat him first), and Hunter will act as a mentor to Tank. "We're gonna challenge you on ALL aspects of what we do," Hunter says. "Power, speed, endurance, and teamwork. May the best mentor-trainee team win!"

They made the puffin's beak fuchsia and gave her eyeshadow so you can tell that she's a girl.
And to think, just five minutes ago I was praising the filmmakers for not giving the girl penguin
a curvier design.

So it's off to the Trenches on the back of the Hang Five's whale - for the penguins, whales act as transportation (does that mean Surf's Up plagiarized Shark Tale?). After a montage, they arrive at the edge of Slaughter Island.

I know that's supposed to look threatening, but to be honest... it looks more like one of the
Martians from Sesame Street to me.

Everybody gets on their surfboards and paddles through the water in search of the Trenches. One montage later, they arrive at a desert. The penguins don't know what sand is... which made sense to me at first, since penguins are usually found in snowy climates, but then I remembered, Cody and Lani live on an island covered with sand. Shouldn't THEY know what sand is?

Maybe the more orange-y hue of the sand is what's throwing them off?

The conch tells McMahon that the desert is dangerous (at least that's what McMahon claims... methinks he's a few sodas short of a six-pack). Hunter suggests that they have a race, but it'll have to wait - the Undertaker is stuck in quicksand! Fortunately, J.C. manages to pull him out. Thank goodness he took those penguin steroids.

Wait, if that sand is quicksand, shouldn't they ALL be sinking into it?

They have their surfing race, which Lani and Paige wind up winning. Cody comes in last because Tank decides to knock him off his surfboard. J.C. comments that Tank is "like a cartoon villain". I do love it when what I'm reviewing becomes self-aware.

That night, J.C. advises Cody not to let Tank's being... well, Tank get to him. They still had an awesome day, after all. And hey, at least Cody isn't in love with his surfboard like Tank is.

Meh, still a better love story than Bee Movie...

Once everyone falls asleep, Cody, Lani, Chicken Joe, and Tank are suddenly woken up by the noises some predatory animal is making.  They get picked off one by one, but it turns out this was all just a test the Hang Five set up to teach them about teamwork. "We wanted to see how well you work under pressure," McMahon explains.

Now the nine of them must cross a chasm across which is not a bridge but a very, very thin vine. Everybody makes it across - except Cody, thanks to Tank's deciding to mess with him. Eventually, they all wind up falling into the chasm and landing in a stone temple, where Cody and J.C. find hieroglyphics telling stories about awesome surfers.

"Look, we've found the storyboards for Surf's Up 3!"

One such story is about a young surfer who looked very much like Cody. He had fame, fans, all that stuff... only to get eaten by a bunch of sharks. Cody figures out that the temple is actually a Surfers' Hall of Fame. When he asks J.C. if he'd like to be part of it, J.C. says, "Surfing's awesome and all, but there are much more important things in life." Sometimes the greatest words of wisdom come from the mouths of John Cena-voiced penguins.

As for Tank, he stumbles upon a golden surfboard in the arms of a giant statue. Anybody who's seen Aladdin or any of the Indiana Jones movies can tell you where this leads, right?

Honestly, I don't think a solid gold surfboard would be the best for surfing on. Wouldn't it, being
made of gold, just sink to the bottom of the ocean if you tried it?

The temple starts crumbling, the booby traps do their thing, at one point the Undertaker gets hit in the face with a folding chair. They all escape, and then Cody gets mad because Tank ate his dinner and they get into a fight.

The next morning, they come across... this:

The conch tells McMahon that unless they can surf on fire, they'll have to find another way around. Then Cody gets an idea - they'll construct makeshift hanggliders and soar over the lava. McMahon and Hunter praise Cody for his smarts, and then Cody rubs it in Tank's face that he's this close to becoming the newest member of the Hang Five.

"'Penguins' can't fly my black-and-white rump!"

The hang-gliding actually works out pretty well, but of course Cody and Tank just can't help going at it again. You'd think they'd know better seeing as they're FLYING OVER LAVA. And sure enough, their feuding nearly causes Chicken Joe to fall into the lava, but the Undertaker saves him. His surfboard isn't so lucky.

Once everyone makes it across, the others chew out Cody for nearly getting Chicken Joe roasted. Tank tries to feign innocence, but Cody points out that Tank was sabotaging him. Hunter tells him that doesn't make it okay for Cody to dish it back out. "I just wanted to win, y'know? So I could prove that I could be one of you!" Cody protests. "Puttin' your friends in danger only proves that you're nothing like us," J.C. declares. "The Hang 5 is a family," McMahon concurs.

That night, Cody overhears J.C. and McMahon talking about Cody. "That kid doesn't care about anything other than winning. He doesn't give two sand crabs about whoever gets in his way," McMahon points out. He also implies that J.C. is at fault even though J.C. was just as appalled as the others were at Cody for what he nearly did to Chicken Joe. Still feeling bad, Cody decides to give Chicken Joe his surfboard and head home.

When everybody finds out that Cody left in the morning, Tank laughs over it... and Lani punches him in the stomach. You go, girl. Do people still say that? Did they EVER say that? Well, anyhow, Lani says that they have to find Cody, but J.C. suggests that they let him work it out on its own. "I've been where he's at," he explains. "Trust me. He just needs time to think."

It's really hard to take a really buff penguin seriously.

We see Cody moping around until he comes across a statue of a penguin on a surfboard. There are hieroglyphics on the base of the statue talking about how this penguin was the greatest surfer of all, giving up his chance at fame and fortune to stay with his people and protect them from the dangerous waters of the Trenches. Sort of like how Cody gave up his chance at fame and fortune to save Chicken Joe in the first movie. Remember that?

Anyway, Cody realizes that his friends are in danger and runs off to save them. The others make it to the Trenches, a flooded field of damaged surfboards and pointy rocks, just as a storm is a-brewin'.

The walrus-shaped rock is what makes it.

We find out just what this "RTL!" chant that the Hang Five have been shouting throughout the movie stands for - "Ride the Lightning". They're going to surf during a lightning storm. Also, a seagull gets struck by lightning and dies. Jeez, that was needlessly dark...

Lani declines the offer to join the Hang Five because, y'know, she's NOT insane. The Hang Five are all "That's cool" and ask Chicken Joe if HE'D like to join. Chicken Joe might be eccentric but he's not stupid, so he declines as well (he accepts an honorary membership, though). Tank decides to go for it, despite how nervous he is.

So off Tank and the Hang Five go to do their lightning-riding. They surf a giant wave as the lightning flashes and thunder rumbles and everything turns neon green, but eventually Tank's panicking causes him to fall off the wave.

"Eugh, did somebody just fart?"

"No, that's just fog rolling in to set the mood."

"Then why do I smell tacos?"

The Undertaker gets struck by lightning, and the Hang Five all wash up on the beach. But Tank is still out there, and his gold surfboard it would seem acts as a lightning rod. I don't know much about gold, does it attract lightning?

Fortunately, Cody shows up and dives into the water to save Tank. He grabs a surfboard from the bottom of the ocean and pulls Tank aboard just before he can get impaled by pointy rocks. J.C. then rescues them both.

Tank thanks Cody for saving his life. Cody is praised for his bravery and invited to join the Hang Five. But he declines because he now realizes that he's already part of an awesome team - his friends. And then McMahon decides not to leave after all. The film ends with everyone filming another commercial for Cody's surf academy.

Yes, there are more fish milk jokes. The writers apparently thought the phrase "fish milk"
was hilarious.

What's the Verdict?

All right, everybody get out the torches and pitchforks... I honestly didn't think this was that bad.

Yeah, I know, I'm surprised too. I went in expecting pure crap but, honestly, I didn't hate it! It has some funny jokes, decent animation, good performances from the voice actors, and some nice action sequences. My main problems were Big Z's being forgotten about, Cody's Aesop Amnesia, and the really awkward running gag about the fish milk. But aside from those things, I thought the film was okay. I did not LOVE it. I just found it okay.

Still, I can't help but wonder what the point was. Did the WWE really think that this movie was going to get kids interested in wrestling? If anything, I think it'd probably get them more interested in SURFING. I mean, just because wrestlers are voicing characters in it doesn't automatically make it a wrestling-themed movie. John Cena was in Dolittle, was THAT a wrestling-themed movie?

So, would I watch it again? Probably not, but as a sequel to Surf's Up, I personally think this could've been a lot worse. Especially considering the reception towards the direct-to-video sequels for another one of Sony Pictures Animation's earlier films, Open Season (note to self: review Open Season at some point).