Let's Watch This: An Episode of "World of Quest"

I've talked about Kids' WB on this blog before. It premiered in 1995 as a block on a channel called The WB, basically a place for all of the cartoon shows that Warner Bros. had a hand in at the time. In addition for being a place to watch pre-existing shows like Tiny Toon Adventures and Animaniacs, it spawned such shows as Road Rovers and Loonatics Unleashed. Alas, the block wound up shutting down in 2008 (after moving from The WB, which shut down two years earlier, to The CW). And what was the last show created for it? A little something called World of Quest.

A loose adaptation of a graphic novel series by Jason Kruse, World of Quest premiered in March of 2008 and lasted two seasons. The show is about an arrogant young prince named Nestor (voiced by Landon Norris), son of the King and Queen of Odyssea. Problem is, the king and queen were kidnapped by an evil dude named Lord Spite (James Rankin), so Nestor must find a magic sword called the Shattersoul Sword, which I guess he can use to free his parents and defeat Lord Spite. But he obviously can't do this all by himself, so he enlists the help of a brawny man named Sir Quest (Ron Pardo). They also have the help of a griffin named Graer (also Ron Pardo), a cyborg named Gatling (Kedar Brown), a shape-shifting being named Way (Melissa Altro), and a young sorceress named Anna Maht (Krystal Meadows). The humor, supposedly, comes from the fact that a scrawny, arrogant prince is teamed up with a grouchy muscle-bound dude.

Why does the griffin look so dismayed?

Is the show any good? Heck if I know, I haven't seen a single episode. But that's why we're looking at it today! This show is one of those "each episode is actually two episodes in one" shows, so we'll be watching the fourth episode, which consists of "Croc-a-Doodle-Doo" and "Tournament of Punishment".

But first, we have the show's theme song... which begins with Nestor shouting "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" as though he's in an episode of CSI. Thanks for startling me, Nestor. The song does a good job of summarizing the two main characters - Nestor is an annoying little twerp and Quest is much stronger and doesn't think too highly of Nestor. Also, Quest sounds like Patrick Warburton. It's not actually Patrick doing the voice (as I've said before, it's Ron Pardo), but it's a pretty good soundalike.

So the episode begins with our heroes and their ankylosaur-esque mount Albert being chased by a group of rhinoceros-like creatures named Grinders. Once they get away from the Grinders, they encounter more monsters named Growls. Quest deduces that Lord Spite is nearby. "He and General Ogun might be watching us right now," Gatling concurs.

Two rejected Avengers.

Also, they've got an "Earth Sword" that, according to Way and Anna, can only be activated when battling a "Croc-a-Doodle-Doo monster". Okay, but what exactly IS a "Croc-a-Doodle-Doo"? I mean, aside from the title of the episode. Can you give us at least a description of what it looks like?

Did I mention that Way looks like one of the aliens that Ben 10 can turn into? Because she does.

"I can grant you three wishes. And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes.
No substitutions, exchanges, or refunds."

So they just have to find this "Croc-a-Doodle-Doo" and they can activate the sword. They pass through the Forest of Burping Trees... ha ha, burping is automatically funny and not gross in the slightest... and according to Gatling, in order to get through one of them must "out-burp" the trees, which Quest promptly does. After that, they arrive in "Croca-Doodle Ville", home of "the infamous Crocadoodle Doo Monster". Which sort of resembles Las Vegas. Don't tell Doug Walker.

Well, actually, it's kind of like Las Vegas crossed with Pandora from AVATAR.

There are a bunch of salesmen trying to sell their crap. So as a result, we get the same joke FOUR TIMES - some creepy-looking guy warns of the "Croc-a-Doodle-Doo" and its evil ways, then reveals that it's actually a sales pitch for some product they're selling (a flashlight, a hat, hot wings...). If you're gonna repeat a joke, at least spread it out a little so the episode doesn't feel repetitive.

To lure the "Croc-a-Doodle-Doo" out, they'll need some kind of bait. LIVE bait. Nestor will do quite nicely, seeing as he's the least useful of the team.

If he does get eaten, nothing of value will be lost.

Initially, they put him in a giant bear trap, but then a fly lands on his head and sets it off. So then they dress him in drag... because I really needed to see him in drag, thanks for that (don't worry, I'll spare you the screencap). But Quest says that he's "just not pretty enough", so instead they have him lure the monster out by... surfing?

Look at Nestor! He's SURFING! That makes him COOL, right?!

Eventually, they arrive at a cave that belongs to the Croc-a-Doodle. There's a big neon sign above the door saying it and everything. And they hear it growling from inside...

Where are Robin, Raven, and Beast Boy?

But it turns out that the Croc-a-Doodle is actually a big loser. He's purple, he's got a topknot, he sounds like Ed Wynn, he winds up hitting his head on the roof of the cave... it doesn't even look anything like a crocodile OR a chicken, so I don't know why they're calling it a "Croc-a-Doodle-Doo". What, was "Ugly Purple Doofus" just too on-the-nose?

He's like a Pokemon that was rejected by the game developers for being too
stupid-looking. And these are the same game developers that approved of
THIS thing.

Seriously, THIS was what the villagers were all so terrified of? THIS goofy-looking freak that looks like Barney the Dinosaur mated with a Fraggle?  They were really afraid of it?

The big purple Jar-Jar Binks is thrilled that He-Man Wannabe, Discount Johnny Test, Discount Cyborg, Discount Starfire, and the griffin that looks like Magilla Gorilla with wings aren't going to slay him. He laments that he'd love to go back to the sandy beaches of "Terror Island". Nestor asks him if he can activate the Earth Sword, and as a matter of fact, he DOES know how - each of those swords are activated by the element they're named after. "It's the Earth Sword, sooooooooo, you stick it in the earth!" he explains. So Nestor does that.

"I HAVE THE POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

"You helped us, so it's only fair that we help you," Anna tells the monster that the villagers were so terrified of despite the fact that it makes the Reluctant Dragon look like Godzilla. So, the monster wants to leave, but the villagers would never let him through. The solution? Pretend that they defeated the monster and are leading him out of the village. But that backfires on them - the townspeople aren't grateful, they're ANGRY. Without the Croc-a-Doodle-Doo around, they can't make mucho moolah (or whatever it is that people in this world use for currency) selling merchandise. They've destroyed the village's economy!

There's a political joke that I could make here, but I can't think of it.

On the bright side, it suddenly makes much more sense why the villagers were
afraid of a monster that's about as scary as a plate of fried beans. They were just
PRETENDING to be scared of it to hock their crap.

Upon seeing this, the bigger version of one of Jeff Dunham's puppets is ecstatic. "They LIKE me! And best of all, they NEED me!" he exclaims. So he pretends to break free and act all ferocious, thrilling the townspeople because now they can go back to selling merchandise in his image. So the moral of today's story is, let people exploit you!

Okay, next episode...

So now our heroes are searching for a "Sword of Fire". Which is inconveniently located inside the Palace of Punishment, which according to Graer is a great place to make friends despite being filled with thieves, rogues, vagabonds, lowlifes, etc.

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

"Every year, the master of the palace holds a tournament where only the meanest, toughest, most dastardly, robust criminals get to compete for the grand prize!" he says. Thugs are already lined up outside to take part - like Pumbaa!

"They call me... MISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG!"

And the grand prize of the tournament? You'll never believe this - it's the Sword of Fire! Zhe odds, vhat are zhey? So they head inside, Nestor determined to get the Sword of Fire before somebody wins it. "Wow! This place is intense!" Anna exclaims, to which Graer replies, "I thought it was in a CASTLE!"

Y'know, I think Graer might be my favorite character in this show.

The master of the palace arrives... and it's revealed that he's, um, a screechy-voiced rat wearing Jafar's hand-me-downs. Ohhhhhhhhh-kaaaaaaaaaaaaay...

Master Splinter's evil twin.

Nestor has a plan to snatch the sword - first, he and Anna will sneak into the room where they've got the sword locked up. He'll distract the guards with his "princely charm" (that's a laugh) while Anna casts a spell to swipe the sword. Then they'll get the heck out of there. "Nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong!" he insists.

Alas, the Gilligan Cut does its thing...

Word of advice, Nestor - never say "nothing could possibly go wrong". If you do,
you're basically guaranteeing that something could indeed possibly go wrong. It's just
common knowledge.

So now Nestor and Anna are slaves, and Quest must enter the tournament to save them. First up in the tournament are an Offbrand Geodude and some guy dressed like he's from the 1800s...

I haven't seen a team-up this weird since Whoopi Goldberg and a dinosaur...

Versus a purple sharp-toothed worm...

Didn't I see this thing in one of the Star Wars films?

And a green blob.

Oh, no, it's another Tasty Paste monster!

Next, Quest and a masked Graer (originally Gatling is the second one, but no metal weapons are allowed, and Gatling is a cyborg, so...) against a smelly foot and a teeny-tiny doberman.

I haven't seen a team-up this weird since... oh, wait, I already used that joke.

Blah blah blah, they keep beating their opponents, who range from tentacle-headed green girls to giant tree monsters...

"I AM GROOT!"

And soon it's time for them to face the grand champion for a shot at the Sword of Fire (as well as cash and prizes). Unfortunately, Graer takes off his mask, and everyone in the place recognizes him. Apparently he's been to the Palace of Punishment before and did something to tick everyone off. What, exactly, did he do? All he says is that he didn't know the grand master's throne was a throne at the time... I think the implication is that he thought it was a toilet.

So now they're ALL captured. Quest must find another partner to win the tournament or forfeit everything. Nestor offers to be his partner. For obvious reasons, this does not fill Quest with confidence.

This is the grand champion, by the way:

Quest dubs this thing a "Siamese Uberilla", and it promptly clobbers Nestor and Quest. Then Quest uses Nestor as a makeshift baseball bat to clobber the Uberilla, and they win! Huzzah!

So, that was World of Quest.

What's the Verdict?

I was expecting this to be pretty bad going in, but it wound up being another "not awful, just mediocre" show. The characters are dull, the jokes aren't particularly funny, and the animation is typical mediocre Flash. But the voice actors do a fine job, and I do give them credit for giving us some creative character designs and monsters... even if one of the monsters is too ridiculous-looking to take seriously. You could do a lot better, but you could also do a lot worse.

Next time on "Let's Watch This", we're going to outer space. Get ready for a trip to Galaxy High.