Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer"

NOTE: Please do not take any of the little nitpicks in this review (or any of my other reviews, for that matter) seriously. I write these reviews in the hopes of making people laugh. Those nitpicks are really just dumb little observations that I'm attempting to make jokes out of, not complaints that add to whether or not I like something.

NOTE #2: No disrespect is meant towards anyone who worked on the show I am reviewing today. I'm sure they are all very nice and talented people.

NOTE #3: If you like this show, that is great. Go ahead and like it. I'm not judging you.

It's the middle of winter. There is currently a blanket of snow outside my house. Which means it's a perfect time to review a cartoon that takes place during the summer, am I right?

Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer is another one of those shows I never watched because I was turned off by the art style. I know, I know, it's really unfair of me to judge a show solely by its art style, but apparently I'm not the only one who did that - the show only received thirteen episodes, a rarity for cartoons on Disney XD. It premiered in June 2017, the creation of SpongeBob SquarePants writer Aaron Springer. The premise is that these three junior high students named Marsha (voiced by internet vlogger Catherine Wayne), Zeke (Tom Kenny), and eccentric inventor Billy Dilley (Aaron Springer himself) find themselves in a strange land within the earth's core called Subterrania-Tania after a mishap with Billy's science project. Will they ever return to the surface? Considering that the show only got thirteen episodes, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that we never actually see them do that (if I'm wrong, please fill me in).

So, yeah, the art style, combined with what little I've heard about the show, be they good things or bad things, led me to not watch it. It probably doesn't help that Disney's cartoons in the 2010s were, in my opinion, a mixed bag. Sometimes you'd get Wander Over Yonder, sometimes you'd get Pickle and Peanut. But I suppose it's only fair that I give it a chance. I mean, if nothing else, there's a lot of talented people who worked on this - Aaron Springer worked on SpongeBob, for one thing. And if you know me, you know that I love SpongeBob. In fact, there are a LOT of writers who worked on SpongeBob involved with this show - Derek Drymon, Zeus Cervas, Casey Alexander, Merriwether Williams, Clay Morrow... who knows? Maybe I'll enjoy it.

So, let's watch the first episode of the show (I was originally going to review the eleventh episode, but one of the two segments in that one involves Zeke trying to avoid cleaning up trash and I've already reviewed two other cartoons with that exact plotline already and I don't want to seem repetitive) and see if it's a hidden gem that had the potential to be great... or if it's something that should've stayed in the earth's core.

This is another one of those shows where each episode is two segments in one. Our first segment "Lab Friends... Forever?", starts with a strange sort of vehicle that looks like a rocket with an army tank's treads falling into a canyon. Inside the vehicle are our three main characters. Billy pauses the episode to fill us in as to what's going on: "That's me, Billy Dilley. These are my two lab friends, Zeke and Marsha." Also along for the ride is Billy's hideous pet rat, Anaximander. And this is where we run into our first problem... Billy has a really annoying voice.

Not "Herbert from Family Guy" levels of annoying, but annoying.

Apparently, this whole mess that they're in started on a normal day at school. Billy explains that he needed two "candidates" for that year's science fair. Quick question, do schools still do science fairs? I don't recall any of my schools ever doing one. Was this just something schools stopped doing by the 2000s?

Anyhow, Zeke was failing science class and heading for summer school and Marsha needed a good grade for the school newspaper, so they teamed up with Billy on his project for the fair. What's his project? That vehicle we saw earlier, the Cheeserator. It's supposed to put holes in Swiss cheese.

I already implied this in my review of Yakkity Yak, but... cheese is not funny. It's tasty, sure, but I wouldn't call it funny. Unless you're in a Wallace and Gromit short. Then you can make characters talking about cheese funny.

This is admittedly a nitpick, but why is Billy's hair SHINY?

The Cheeserator is great for putting holes in really, really big cheese, which the school just so happens to have for whatever reason. But then the vehicle's cord (it needs to be plugged in) is randomly struck by lightning and it randomly flies out of the cheese and starts digging a hole in the Earth. Totally how lightning works, right?

So for those of you who haven't figured it out already, this show is loosely inspired by Jules Verne's novel Journey to the Center of the Earth. I assume any resemblance to the book's 2008 movie adaptation (remember that one? With Brendan Fraser and Josh Hutchinson? Anyone else remember that? Okay...) is entirely coincidental.

Billy, Zeke and Marsha land in what looks like a cross between Amphibia and Bedrock from The Flintstones. This leads to a few minutes of Billy demonstrating that he's quite possibly INSANE.

This makes slightly more sense in context. SLIGHTLY.

Then Billy discovers an ancient subterranean species, these two buck-toothed lizard-like guards who get an extremely detailed and disgusting close-up. My apologies for the nightmares that the following screencap might cause you:

When the guards discover that Billy, Zeke, and Marsha hail from the surface, they lock them in a cage. They don't take kindly to surface-dwellers 'round these here parts. "You've really made a mess of things this time, Billy Dilley," Billy laments.

But then, through the power of a dance routine, Billy manages to swipe the key to the cage from a guard, allowing them to make their escape... or at least Zeke and Marsha do. Billy gets his head stuck in a wheel (don't ask) and gets taken to the leader of these creatures, the Great Gorkager (Brian Posehn).

Imagine that thing with the voice of Burt from The Big Bang Theory. That'll amuse you
a lot more than this show has amused me thus far.

The Great Gorkager demands that Billy entertain him or else he'll smash him with a hammer he might've borrowed from Thor. So what does Billy do? He has his belly "talk". Y'know that thing where somebody tries to make their belly button look like a mouth? He does that. In the words of Starscream, this is bad comedy.

The creatures agree with me and start "boo"-ing Billy, but then he throws a glass of water in one of the creatures' face and they all start laughing. Then they all start smashing watermelons. Then the Great Gorkager finds out that Billy is from the surface, and he gets MAD! Why does he hate surface-dwellers? I don't know, they don't explain. Just as he's about to smash Billy with his hammer, Zeke and Marsha distract him by imitating Billy's antics from earlier in the episode, convincing the Great Gorkager that they're not surface-dwellers but rather the ultra-rare Wormasaurus Rex.

Again, this all makes slightly more sense in context.

That night, Zeke asks Billy how long it's gonna take to fix the Cheeserator. Billy's guess: all summer. Zeke is cool with that because it means he doesn't have to go to summer school. Oh, sure, their parents are probably going to run themselves ragged looking for them (and the school might wind up getting sued for negligence) and they have no idea how they're going to survive, but who cares?

Speaking of surviving, it's time for our next segment, "Surviving Billy".

This segment starts off with that cliched joke where a main character wakes up and thinks that the events of a previous episode were all just a dream, but wouldn't you know it, they find out it WASN'T a dream at all. Haven't seen THAT joke before. Then Billy shows up channeling George of the Jungle.

Alas, he seems to specifically be channeling the annoying 2007 reboot version.

Billy found a hospitable lagoon while Zeke and Marsha were sleeping, and we get the first funny joke in the episode. Billy says that he's glad he has his swimsuit, to which Zeke points at his clothes and asks, "THAT'S your swimsuit?" Billy says no, those are just his regular clothes, and then he takes them off, revealing an identical pair of clothes underneath - which, he claims, is his actual swimsuit. I'll give 'em this, that was honestly kind of funny.

Well, at least it WOULD'VE been funny if they had just stopped there. But nope, then Marsha points out that his swimsuit looks exactly the same as his regular clothes. "From the FRONT," Billy claims, then he turns around... and Zeke and Marsha react with repulsion. I guess the indication is that the swimsuit shows off his bare butt? Thank you for that mental image. And for ruining the only funny joke in the episode thus far.

Here's a screencap of Billy's pet rat. Repulsive little fellow, isn't he?

Suddenly there's a pterodactyl. A grimy green pterodactyl with bulbous red eyes. Is it supposed to be a zombie or something?

I believe the scientific name for this beast is the Pterodactylus Grinchylus.

The zombie pterodactyl grabs them in its talons and carries them to its giant nest. Fortunately, from the nest Billy can see the Cheeserator - which just so happens to have a survival pack on board that'll get them through the summer. "You got us into this mess, you're getting us OUT!" Zeke snaps. Billy's suggestion? They should ask Mr. Whatzit.

Who's Mr. Whatzit? Well, it's an action figure with a pull-string that Billy has in his pocket, based on a character from a TV show that Billy likes. Oh, great, is this gonna turn into a knockoff of the SpongeBob episode with the Magic Conch Shell?

"Be careful, guys, he's still in mint condition!"

Mr. Whatzit gives Billy the idea to make a whirligig out of egg shell pieces. Sounds strange, but they actually manage to pull it off. They even give it legs with little booties.

I wonder what they used for glue (actually, I don't wanna know. I have the uneasy feeling
that it was pterodactyl poop or something gross like that).

They push it to the edge, and it flies... without them in it. But then the pterodactyl pushes them out of the nest, and they land in the whirligig... which promptly cracks under their feet (it's made out of egg shells, remember), and they fall into a giant patch of briars.

Don't worry, Billy was born and bred in the briar patch.

How will they get out of THIS mess? Once again, Billy turns to Mr. Whatzit, who gives them the idea to run... right into a pool of lava. They manage to avoid being roasted alive in the lava by running on a giant stone wheel, but then Billy pauses to tie his shoe and they all fall off the wheel and get flattened by it. Fortunately, they survive being flattened by a giant stone wheel since they're, y'know, cartoon characters.

So then Billy takes out Mr. Whatzit's teeny-tiny pocket compass... which, as it turns out, doesn't actually work. By now, Marsha and Zeke have had enough of Billy (that makes three of us), and Zeke grabs Mr. Whatzit and throws it off a cliff, leading Billy to jump off the cliff after it.

Suddenly, a giant spider shows up and traps Zeke and Marsha in its web. I guess they DO sort of look like giant flies if you squint at them...

I have a headcanon: Zeke is actually the son of Yumi. I mean, they have the same hairstyle
and sense of fashion, so it's entirely possible.

Billy hears Zeke and Marsha's shouts for help just as he's about to save Mr. Whatzit, which of course leads to a "he can't save Zeke and Marsha AND Mr. Whatzit, who's he gonna save, isn't this suspenseful?!" moment. He takes out the spider, then falls into the web, which promptly launches him, Zeke and Marsha into the air. They land next to the Cheeserator. And what's in the Cheeserator's emergency survival pack?

Useless junk, of course! But there's ANOTHER emergency survival pack in the Cheeserator full of food. Then they build a shelter out of a few non-essential scraps from the Cheeserator. I was expecting there to be a joke about how those non-essential scraps actually WERE essential to the Cheeserator after all, but nope (maybe they were saving that joke for another episode). Instead, the rat shows up with Mr. Whatzit. We end with Billy screeching "MR. WHATZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

Oh, so THAT'S where Anne's other shoe wound up...

What's the Verdict?

Oy. How do you get a bunch of people who worked on shows like SpongeBob, Camp Lazlo, Wander Over Yonder, and The Angry Beavers together to make a cartoon and the result is THIS? Okay, maybe it's not the WORST cartoon show Disney's ever done, but it's preeeeeeeeeeetty bad. The characters are annoying and/or one-note. Most of the jokes fall flat, and whenever there's a joke that's actually kind of funny they ruin it by dragging it out and giving it a horrible punchline. The art style is ugly, and even the animation isn't anything to write home about. Not to mention Catherine Wayne and Tom Kenny give weak performances, and Aaron Springer's performance as Billy is just obnoxious.

If this first episode is any indication, I can see why Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer only got thirteen. There were far better cartoons on Disney XD at the time. I wouldn't recommend watching it, but if you want to give it a try yourself, it's on Disney Plus.

Yes, this is on Disney Plus but The Weekenders and Buzz Lightyear of Star Command aren't. That's totally fair, isn't it?

Let's Watch This: An Episode (or Two) of "Potato Head Kids"

Pop quiz - what was the first toy to be advertised on television? Here's a hint: it's also had a balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Need another hint? Okay, how about this: think Idaho. That's right, it's that Steve Harvey lookalike known as Mr. Potato Head!

One of Hasbro's most iconic toys, Mr. Potato Head was invented by a Mr. George Lerner in 1949. Originally, it was just a collection of plastic body parts that kids could stick in a real potato. Because real potatoes eventually rot and nobody wants to play with something that's rotted and smelling like a garbage dump, Hasbro started throwing in a plastic potato to put the parts in. Eventually, Hasbro introduced the bride of Mr. Potato Head, Mrs. Potato Head. Less well-known are the spud's buds Oscar the Orange, Pete the Pepper, Katie the Carrot, Cooky the Cucumber, Mr. Soda Pop, Willy Burger, Mr. Ketchup Head, Mr. Mustard Head, French Fry, and Frankie Frank. From my understanding, these guys were basically the same thing except instead of a plastic potato you put the pieces in a plastic orange, a plastic pepper, a plastic carrot etc.

Mr. Potato Head has done it all. In addition to his appearances in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, he's also received four postal votes to become the mayor of Boise, Idaho. He's appeared in commercials, most of them for snacks made from potatoes (remember those Lay's ads where Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head eat potato chips, with Mr. Potato Head acknowledging that it's cannibalism?). He's had his own comic strip. You can find gigantic versions of him at Walt Disney World. There have been CD-Roms starring him. Over the years, you've been able to get Optimus Prime Potato Heads, Spider-Man Potato Heads, Bugs Bunny Potato Heads, Elvis Potato Heads, Three Stooges Potato Heads, SpongeBob Potato Heads, and even Buzz Lightyear Potato Heads.

Speaking of Buzz, of course the most iconic appearance of Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head in any form of media is their being supporting characters in the Toy Story movies. It's because of these films that we think of Mr. Potato Head as having Don Rickles' voice. But these movies actually weren't the first time Mr. Potato Head has been animated. Like most toys, the character had his own cartoon show in the 1980s - or rather, his KIDS did.

Yes, Mr. Potato Head and his wife had nine little tater tots. For those wondering how potatoes reproduce, I should remind you that potatoes are something you can just plant in the ground and grow - ergo, the Potato Heads could have easily just done that. The show was a collaboration between Hasbro, Sunbow Productions, Marvel Productions, and AKOM and premiered in syndication in September 1986.

The titular Potato Head Kids were named Big Chip (voiced by David Mendenhall), cowboy hat-clad Spud (a young Breckin Meyer), Spike (Scott Menville), bespectacled Smarty Pants (Susie Garbo), Puff (Annie Marie McEvoy), Lolly (Kellie Martin of A Pup Named Scooby-Doo fame), Lumpy (Ina Fried), Dimples (Laura Mooney) and Slick (Scott Grimes). Mr. Potato Head himself (Kenneth Mars) and Mrs. Potato Head (Linda Gary) were supporting characters, as were a gang of villainous potato-hating bullies called Grease's Gang. Twenty-three episodes were made. Oh, and the show was made to be paired with My Little Pony 'n Friends, presumably because they're both Hasbro-owned franchises.

So, CAN you make a cartoon out of a toy potato? Starring NOT the iconic toy potato itself, but rather his KIDS who, to my knowledge, were created for this show? I don't know. But what luck, there are episodes of the show on YouTube! So let's watch the fifth episode, "The Great Candy Caper", and see if Potato Head Kids is... uh, insert some sort of potato pun here.

Please ignore the My Little Pony logo in the top-right corner.

The episode begins with the Potato Head Kids in their clubhouse, working on their newspaper. Because apparently the taters publish a newspaper? Was this set up in an earlier episode?

Anyhow, one of the kids slips on a banana peel, resulting in some WHACKY SHENANIGANS. The banana peel goes flying onto Lumpy's face, throwing him off balance. He falls backwards onto the lever that controls the speed of the newspaper-printing machine, setting it to "VERY FAST". Papers start flying everywhere, and then JUNK starts flying everywhere too, which I guess is supposed to represent the machinery falling apart? We're about a minute in and I have absolutely no idea what's going on.

"Why do we even HAVE that lever?!"

After Big Chip unplugs the machine, Spike and Smarty Pants barge in and say that they have a big exclusive story. I gotta ask, why did Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head name one of their kids "Smarty Pants"? That seems like a pretty mean thing to name your kid. It's also kind of nonsensical since Smarty Pants doesn't actually WEAR pants.

And while I'm asking questions, how does a potato grow hair?

So, what exactly IS Spike and Smarty Pants' story? Lots and lots of candy has been disappearing from the nearby candy factory. Maybe the employees just don't have any willpower? I imagine that if you work at a candy factory, it's probably hard to resist the urge to EAT any of the candy...

Big Chip (I'm just now realizing his name is a pun... Chip as in POTATO CHIP) tells Spike and Smarty Pants to go interview the candy factory owners. Lumpy asks if he can go too, and it's established that Lumpy's shtick is that he loves to eat. And now I'm wondering if these anthropomorphic potatoes have digestive tracts. If not, how do they eat? I guess it's best that we don't think about it too much.

Off to the candy factory they go... which is actually run by Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. So wait, the Potato Heads run both a newspaper publishing company AND a candy factory? The candy factory sales aren't paying the bills already? Or is Potato Head Enterprises just some sort of mega-corporation with a bunch of different businesses, like Disney?

The candy cane-striped columns are a nice touch.

Mr. Potato Head explains that somebody is stealing their candy, but they have no idea who it is or why they're doing it. They've already enlisted the help of the police, but they couldn't find any clues either. "This is getting mysterious," Smarty Pants says. Spike then declares, "But it's about to get as clear as chocolate fudge!" - I have no idea what that means. Chocolate fudge isn't clear. It's actually quite hard to see through it. But despite that, Smarty Pants dubs it important and writes it down.

"Maybe the culprit is a disgruntled Oompa-Loompa. They were so mad when we told them
they were laid off."

"But we had no choice. They kept singing disturbing songs about us every time we made a mistake!
Even when I forgot to flush the toilet, there they were, singing!"

(Do anthropomorphic potatoes have to go to the bathroom? I'm wondering way too much
about anthropomorphic potato biology in this review)

For some reason, Spike grabs a hose that squirts chocolate fudge, which promptly goes haywire (again, for some reason) and sprays Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head with the sticky brown stuff. Now I'm wondering what a chocolate-covered potato would taste like... I know, I know, I'm weird.

"This looks like a job for Lumpy!" Lumpy claims, and then... well, I think I'll just let the screencap speak for itself:

That night, Spike, Lumpy and Dimples (I guess Smarty Pants was busy?) sneak into the candy factory to nab the thieves. Unfortunately, they set off an alarm, alerting Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head that there's someone in their factory, so they think the thieves are back. Uh oh, I smell a misunderstanding heading our way...

"We're gonna catch those thieves red-handed!"

"What color are their hands now?"

Dimples asks Spike in a flirty tone of voice if he's just doing all this to impress her. Wait... is she implying that Spike likes her? Aren't they siblings? Or are they NOT siblings? I'm very confused.

As for Lumpy, he's about to chow down on a chocolate rabbit. And then all of a sudden the three of them are in Candyland and we get a musical number. Because... I guess the episode needed a song in it?

Oh, and I sure hope the thieves don't show up and steal more candy while you're too busy singing to stop them. You're not very good thief-stoppers, Potato Head Kids.

Here's a joke for you: what do you call a potato that's filled with candy? A sweet potato.
Thank you, I'll be here all night...

After that little Big-Lipped Alligator Moment, the three little spuds hear a noise. The candy thieves have returned! Dimple turns on the lights, revealing that the "thieves" are actually Smarty Pants, Big Chip, and Puff. What a twist!

Side note, I wonder if the showrunners were tempted to name one of the kids "Small Fry". I mean, they already named two of 'em "Spud" and "Big Chip", I'd be amazed if nobody suggested it...

"You don't understand! The folks at Mars offered us big bucks if we found out the secret recipe
for Potato Head Chocolate Bars!"

"When we call the police about this, you guys are gonna fry... get it? 'Cause you're potatoes?"

"That's a really morbid joke, Spike."

Big Chip, Smarty Pants, and Puff tell them that they're NOT, in fact, the candy thieves - they snuck into the factory to nab the thieves themselves. Spike and Smarty Pants start arguing over whose story it is. I like how Smarty Pants' argument for why the story is hers is that she can spell better than him. Like that has anything to do with the situation.

Then they turn off the lights, and somebody else sneaks into the factory. This time, it clearly ISN'T any of the Potato Head Kids... judging by the silhouettes, it appears to be four dogs. If THEY'RE the thieves, I guess nobody told them that chocolate is toxic to dogs.

Also, is one of them Rowlf from the Muppet Babies? Maybe he came to get rid of the competition!

One of the Potato Head Kids turns on the lights, and yep, it's four dogs. I can't believe the Pound Puppies have turned to a life of crime.

"Aren't they cute?" Puff swoons, to which Spike snaps, "Cute?! They're the CANDY THIEVES! AFTER THEM!" In his attempt to grab the dogs, Spike winds up falling into a vat of caramel. Then one dog unintentionally turns on the master switch, and instead of helping him as he's made into a confection the other Potato Head Kids just laugh. Some friends.

After some more WHACKY SHENANIGANS, everyone winds up coated in candy just as the Potato Heads are showing up (they sure took their sweet [no pun intended] time getting to the factory). "Your candy factory's been going to the dogs!" Spike quips. So, why exactly WERE the dogs stealing candy from the factory? Never explained. I guess they, being non-anthropomorphic "normal" dogs, just don't realize that a candy factory's supply of sweets isn't an open buffet for anyone who just so happens to be craving a lollipop. The end.

Y'know what? I don't think that episode really gave me a good idea as to what the show as a whole is like. Even though this isn't one of those "each episode is actually two segments in one" cartoons, I'm gonna watch another episode. I think that'll make a fuller review. Let's check out the tenth episode, "Pig Out", and... sorry, still can't think of a good potato-related pun.

"Pig Out" begins with Mr. Potato Head, Big Chip, Spud, Lumpy, and another potato with a graduation cap and glasses named Whiz Kid who I don't recall from the previous episode arriving at a farm. And I need to take a moment and talk about how terrifying Mr. Potato Head's car is. Just LOOK AT IT:

Those lips... those eyes... those TEETH...

Whiz Kid's shtick seems to be that he's very intelligent, judging by his bringing up how windmills generate power. Don't we already have a "smart and nerdy" character in Smarty Pants? Did we really need another?

Speaking of shticks, Lumpy reminds us that he's obsessed with food by claiming that the fresh country air is giving him an appetite. Fortunately, Mrs. Potato Head (who lives at the farm now instead of the house we saw in "The Great Candy Caper" because continuity is for chumps) whipped up some pancakes. NOT potato pancakes, thankfully.

Mr. Potato Head brings up that there's a county fair tomorrow, and Puff suddenly appears as the tater tots are discussing the difference between pigs and hogs. She calls Whiz Kid a big mouth, which makes him a STEAMED potato.

Or maybe I should say a ROASTED RED potato.

We cut to the country fair, and everyone in attendance aside from the Potato Heads is a human, just in case you were wondering if this was like VeggieTales where all of the characters are produce. Do you think the anthropomorphic potatoes get weird looks from the humans in this world, seeing as they seem to be the only walking, talking tubers around? Or does nobody question it, like the Care Bears? Come to think of it, I wonder if any of the local eateries feel awkward about having mashed potatoes or French fries on their menus...

The Potato Head Kids start up another musical number, reiterating what we already learned a few minutes ago: Big Chip is gonna milk a cow, Lumpy is parading around a pig, Puff is baking a pie, Spud is taking part in a rodeo, and Whiz Kid has some sort of invention. And they all want to win a blue ribbon.

Look at the smug expression on that other pig's face. I bet  they're thinking of fat jokes they
can make at Lumpy's pig's expense.

As it turns out, that big musical number was just a fantasy sequence (as was the song in "The Great Candy Caper", by the way) - the fair isn't until tomorrow, and Lumpy's having trouble taming his pig. And what do the other potato kids do? They just laugh at them. Again I say, some friends. But then they fall into the mud. Karma!

That night, Lumpy has a dream about winning a blue ribbon for his incredibly fat pig.

Suddenly, the pig realized that Lumpy was edible - and then the pig realized that
he was still hungry...

Upon waking up from his dream, Lumpy declares that he's starving and heads downstairs for a midnight snack. He finds a pie in the refrigerator that, unbeknownst to him, is the very same pie that Puff baked for the fair. She does not take the revelation that her pie's been eaten well.

The good news is, there's still a little while before the fair, so the potato kids can just bake a NEW pie. They all shout "POTATO!", which is what they always shout whenever they're excited (not as memorable a catchphrase as "Turtle power!", is it?). The pie they whip up looks like this, so apparently they're not as great at baking pies as they think they are...

I take it Puff is very tempted to make Lumpy into a MASHED potato right now.

The fair starts up. Whiz Kid shows off his egg-collecting machine, which (of course) goes haywire for no reason. The judge tells him that he gets nothing, he loses, good day, sir.

Richard Nixon does not approve of Whiz Kid's invention.

Puff's lumpy-looking pie, meanwhile, gets a special prize for "Most Inventive Design". Big Chip gets first prize in the cow-milking competition. As Spud heads off to the rodeo, Lumpy's pig runs off and the other Potato Head Kids chase after it. Eventually, Spud manages to lasso and hog-tie (pun intended) the pig - but since he roped a HOG and not a CALF, no blue ribbon for him either.

I still can't get past the fact that Spud is voiced by the same person who played Jon in the Garfield
movies.

Lumpy's pig is dubbed the fattest hog at the fair, and the episode ends with Whiz Kid trying to fix his machine and getting an egg in his mouth. I've heard of having egg on your face, but this is ridiculous.

What's the Verdict?

Potato Head Kids is... okay. Not good. Not bad. Just okay. Its main problem is that it's pretty generic - the only thing making it stand out from the multiple other "gang of kids" cartoons in the 1980s is that the characters are sentient potatoes. The show doesn't really do much with the fact that it stars Mr. Potato Head and his offspring - maybe they could've thrown in some gags where the characters take off a body part? Like, Spud asks Lumpy to give him a hand and then Lumpy hands him his whole arm? I dunno, I think that would've been funny. Heck, maybe they could've brought in those characters I mentioned earlier - Oscar the Orange, Pete the Pepper, Mr. Soda Pop... had 'em be supporting characters. As is, you could make the characters humans and it wouldn't make much of a difference. On top of that, the Potato Head Kids aren't very interesting characters. Most of them don't have actual character traits. Lumpy loves to eat, Whiz Kid and Smarty Pants are smart, Spud is a cowboy... and what about the others? Also, the songs are pretty bad and grind the episode to a halt. Some shows just shouldn't have musical numbers.

But it's still a well-made show. The animation is alright, the child actors all do a good job as the voices, and there certainly isn't anything awful about it. I doubt it increased sales for Mr. Potato Head toys, but I'm sure kids who watched it liked it.

By the way, this isn't the only show to star Mr. Potato Head. September 1998 saw the premiere of The Mr. Potato Head Show, a puppet show on Fox Kids about Mr. Potato Head and some anthropomorphic food pals of his putting on a TV show. It received thirteen episodes before getting the axe. While there are some who think puppetry is a type of animation, the chances of me looking at it on my blog are the size of a gnat. I haven't seen a single episode but it looks kind of off-putting to me.

Let's Watch This: An Episode of "Martin Mystery"

This is another one of those shows I recall hearing about but at no point ever actually watched. I don't even know if I saw ads for it, I just remember the name. "Martin Mystery"? That's a pretty cool name for a cartoon.

Martin Mystery is a French/Canadian cartoon based on an Italian comic book... with an art style that mimics Japanese anime, because I guess there are a lot of anime fans in France and Canada? It was created by Vincent Chalvon-Demersay and David Michel, premiering on the Canadian channel YTV on the first of October 2003. In America, the first seven episodes aired on FoxBox in 2004, then Nickelodeon picked up the series and aired it for a while before banishing it to Nicktoons Network.

The show focuses on your typical teens Martin Mystery and his step-sister Diana Lombard. Their best friends are a caveman named Java and an alien named Billy, and they're sent on various missions by a secret organization known as "The Center" to investigate the unknown and the paranormal. Okay, maybe they're not your typical teens after all. Your typical CARTOON teens, maybe... there are a surprising amount of cartoons starring teenagers who are also spies or superheroes or working with the government or whatever. Remember Totally Spies? That was even made by the same studio.

So, is Martin Mystery any good? I don't know, like I said I've never watched a single episode of it. But what luck, you can find episodes on YouTube! And as I've probably said before on this blog, have obscure cartoon, will review. Let us watch the fifth episode, "Mark of the Shapeshifter", and see if the real mystery is why this show isn't more popular. Or if the reason why it isn't more popular is because it's not very good. Could go either way.

Oddly enough, even though the episode was uploaded to YouTube in English, the title card
is in French.

The episode begins... take it away, SpongeBob:

Specifically, on a dark night just outside the city of Toronto. The moon is full, which should give you a pretty good idea as to what sort of paranormal creature Martin and his team are going to be facing off THIS time. I'll give you a hint: what iconic movie monster howls at the moon, is part-canine, and hates Jacob Black jokes?

Actually, considering that this episode focuses on werewolves, I suppose I probably should've waited until around Halloween to do a review of it, but eh...

I've never been to Toronto, but I'm sure it's a very nice city. I don't know if it's ever had
a werewolf problem, though...

Suddenly, the sky turns red for some reason... according to Google, a red sky means that dust and small particles are trapped in the atmosphere by high pressure, scattering the blue light and leaving only the red. Hey, if I can't be funny, I feel like I should at least be educational...

I believe this type of phenomenon is called a "Kool-Aid Sky".

It starts to rain, and this woman walking her dog (at night?) is unaware that something is watching her... at least until it jumps out of the bushes and abducts her. The episode cleverly doesn't reveal just what it is that's attacking her yet. Although I wonder if the presence of a dog is supposed to be some sort of clue. Y'know, since werewolves are part-dog.

After the theme song, we cut to Torrington Academy boarding school, where Diana (voiced by Kelly Sheridan) and her gal-pal Jenni are talking about how much it stinks that there aren't any boys they totally have the hots for around. Because that's what all teenage girls have on their minds 24/7, isn't it? Finding a nice boyfriend. As if on cue, Martin (voiced by Sam Vincent) shows up dressed as a magician and starts making the moves on Jenni. I guess he thinks girls go for magicians? Maybe he's hoping he can captivate her with his magic tricks?

And no, that wasn't meant to be an innuendo. You have a dirty mind.

"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadies..."

Unfortunately, even after he uses a bunch of cliched pick-up lines, Jenni makes it clear to Martin that she doesn't go for David Copperfield wannabes by dumping her drink all over him.

He didn't even get to pull a rabbit out of his hat.

Diana dares Martin that he shall never make a girl fall madly in love with him with the stupid book of pick-up lines he got. One scene of Martin trying and failing to pick up chicks later, he gets a call from The Center on his watch. Here's a question, why do watches in cartoons always double as means of communication? Do watches that double as communication actually exist?

Apologies if you'll be seeing Diana's face in your nightmares tonight...

So Martin and Diana head to what I'm guessing is The Center's headquarters, where a bunch of people and creatures are typing away at computers. Billy (also Sam Vincent) and Java (Dale Wilson) are already there... relaxing in Hawaiian shirts and surrounded by hot girls of various skin colors. Apparently Billy is using a projector to make it seem like he and Java are in Hawaii. Makes sense, since I hear Hawaii is full of aliens already...

"Great news, guys! We've finally found the fabled land of Kokomo! The Beach Boys
DIDN'T make it up after all!"

The four of them go to another room where some guys are working on a spaceship... I assume they found this spaceship in an earlier episode, and my not knowing how is the price I pay for not watching the show in order. After Martin is subjected to WHACKY SHENANIGANS, the director of "The Center", M.O.M. (Teryl Rothery), fills them in as to what's going on - there's a missing persons report in Toronto. A woman named Kristi Johnson disappeared during an unusual electric storm. Wouldn't a missing persons report be a job more suited to the police? Is this just one of those cartoons where the police are incredibly incompetent and it's up to the main characters to save the day all the time?

Then Martin starts flirting with M.O.M., which is kind of creepy considering he's a teenager and M.O.M. is presumably much older.

Plot twist - Martin is secretly the father of Johnny Test. Come on, just LOOK at that hairstyle
and tell me you don't see a resemblance.

After some more WHACKY SHENANIGANS involving Martin squirting green slime everywhere (no wonder this show wound up airing on Nickelodeon), it's off to Toronto. Martin, Diana and Java are filled in by some random guy with a dog (more subtle foreshadowing?) as to what happened that night Kristi Johnson vanished. Martin assumes that this is the work of Soul-Snatchers... again, I'm guessing that this makes more sense if you've seen the previous episodes...

And then the guy sees... THIS running across the screen, which I guess is supposed to represent him believing that Martin is crazy?

Or maybe he's just been taking hallucinogens or something...

...and he runs away screaming. Martin then spots some strange tracks on the ground, leading him and Java to believe that Bigfoot is behind the abducting. Diane is unconvinced, which makes Martin MAD!

"CALL ME 'CLOUD STRIFE' ONE MORE TIME! I DARE YOU!"

So after Martin beats Diana up (this show took a really violent turn all of a sudden!), they follow the tracks, which become more dog-like as they go on. Then they find a feather and a phone, presumably belonging to Kristi. Martin uses his watch to find who Kristi called just before she was abducted and where they live, which turns out to be a gigantic skyscraper. An ABANDONED skyscraper. Martin compares this situation to a horror movie he watched called Office Zombies... which for some reason really ticks off Diana, prompting her to slap Martin hard. Jeez, the characters on this show are aggressive...

"It was a GI Jane joke!"

As it turns out, the skyscraper isn't abandoned after all - there's at least ONE person in there. And also some sort of wolf monster with... feathers sticking out of its neck? Odd design choice... is this meant to imply that the werewolves are part bird?

"I'll bet those three little punks are members of Team Edward... I will not stand for that!"

The guy, as it turns out, is an architect, part of a construction crew building something on a reservation. Ever since they started, strange things have been a-going on. Before he can give them more information, guess who shows up?

"Let's just say there's a reason why they call me the Big Bad Wolf..."

The wolf monster abducts the architect, leaving a trail of drool (eugh) behind it. Martin, Diana, and Java follow it down the hall, but it manages to get away by JUMPING THROUGH A WALL. The Kool-Aid Man would be proud.

Martin uses his watch to identify the drool, informing him that it is indeed wolf spit. Disgusting.

Finding wolf spit is always a good time to strike a heroic pose.

And in addition to the drool, the wolf monster also left behind a claw. So it couldn't even be bothered to clean up its toenail clippings? This wolf monster is a slob.

Billy shows up to analyze the claw. He deduces that the claw is 500 years old and from an ancient headdress from the aboriginal people of Canada... and hey, didn't that architect say they were building on a reservation? The plot, much like corn starch, thickens...

Did they intentionally choose the spookiest-looking part of Toronto to build in?

They go to the construction site, where a bunch of aboriginal Canadians are protesting the construction of... actually, I don't think it's been mentioned yet what they're building. A hotel, maybe? Martin spots one protester wearing a necklace with feathers very much like the one they found with the footprints. When he tries to get the protestor's attention, he dashes off into the woods. Very suspicious, is it not?

Martin and his crew follow him into the woods, where they discover that he was apparently abducted by the wolf monster. Apparently the watch also doubles as a search engine, because Martin uses it to find information about the wolf monster. Who designed that watch, Steve Jobs?

Can he check is email on that thing, too?

Okay, so legend has it that the Massi tribe called the spirit of a wolf from a mystical portal to merge with a human being and protect the land, creating some sort of werewolf that banishes wrong-doers to the Netherworld. "Netherworld? I don't like the sound of that!" Diana says, just before their legs are devoured by a sea of fog.

For a second, I thought that purple stuff was more drool. How disgusting would THAT have been?

You can probably figure out where this is going, right? That protestor guy is the werewolf (which explains the feathers on its neck), who just so happens to show up and corner the good guys. Java actually does something for the first time in this episode and attacks the wolf monster, only for it to bite him. Uh oh...

Actually, the wolf monster's bite DOESN'T turn Java into a werewolf. It just banishes Java to the Netherworld. Then ANOTHER wolf monster shows up and abducts Diana too. And then Martin gets abducted, so it's off to the Netherworld he goes!

"Welcome to the Netherworld! Bathrooms are down the hall to your left, right across
from the totem pole."

In the Netherworld, Martin finds Diana, Java, and all the other people who the werewolf abducted, including Kristi - who Martin starts flirting with. Nice to see his priorities are in check.

"Are you the full moon? 'Cause when I see you, I wanna howl."

"That's not politically correct!"

To get out of the Netherworld, they must find the portal, preferably without getting mauled by the wolves. Fortunately, it turns out that the wolves are repelled by silver. So, for example, Martin can just throw coins he has in his pocket at a wolf and it vanishes.

...well, that's kind of a letdown. These big, scary wolves can be defeated with pens and nail files? That's like having a villain be defeated by SNEEZING...

Nice boxers you've got there, Java.

Eventually, Java finds the portal back to the real world. Unfortunately, out of the portal emerges one of the Langoliers. See, Chris Rock? I can make references to random stuff nobody remembers from the 1990s too, but at least I don't make them just to put people down.

"Is that really the only way out?"

"Well, there's also the Hallway of Fire and Pointy Knives..."

They all jump into the Langolier's mouth and are transported back to the real world... where the wolf monster is waiting for them. "Sorry, pal, but I've got your number right here!" Martin declares, throwing a coin at the wolf monster. Unlike with the wolves in the Netherworld, it has no effect.

"In hindsight, that was probably a stupid idea!"

And so Martin is devoured by the wolf monster. The end.

Okay, obviously that's not the end. Martin and Diana deduce that the only way to stop the wolf monster is by tearing down the construction site. So Diana and the guy in charge of construction jump inside a nearby bulldozer and destroy the hotel or office building or whatever it is that they were building. It works, the wolf stops trying to maul Martin.

"Wait, so all I had to do was find a bulldozer and raze the construction site? Gosh, now I kind of
feel bad about all the biting and the banishing to the Netherworld..."

The wolf monster turns back into a real boy, and the necklace he was wearing is put in a sacred Massi tribal ground where no one can find it. Now Java can go on vacation!

Saving Toronto: so easy even a caveman can do it.

The episode ends with Martin telling Diana that his life would mean nothing without her... which turns out to be a pick-up line from that book he was using. Wait, he used a pick-up line on his step-sister? That's kind of disturbing...

I love the falling pigs with Martin's hair behind her.

Diana's response to Martin basically suggesting they partake in incest is to slap him in the face and storm off. You go, girl.

What's the Verdict?

I usually don't go for cartoon shows that take themselves seriously (they're not bad shows, I just prefer more comedic stuff), but I actually thought this was pretty good. The animation's good, the voice actors all do a good job, and I give them credit for actually pulling off the suspense and intensity needed for a story about werewolves. If I do have one complaint, it's that Martin himself can get a bit annoying, but I can stomach him for the most part. Would I watch more episodes of this show? I don't know, probably not, but I think Martin Mystery is worth watching at least once, even if you haven't read the original comic books.

Speaking of the comics, apparently its creator, Giancarlo Alessandrini, admitted in a 2011 interview that he didn't care for the series, calling it something "very ugly and that nobody liked". Maybe he hated the anime-inspired art style?

Oh, and one more thing - thanks to Google Image Search, I've found out that they recently announced plans for a reboot of the show. This is what it'll look like:

...not a huge fan of those redesigns. For one thing, did they HAVE TO whitewash Java?